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"so you use Ubuntu" she said ,
"why don't you go for Linux ?" she asked.
so I dumped my girlfriend26 -
Two types of people in this world.
Those who press Ctrl+Shift+Esc.
Those who press Ctrl+Alt+Del and click on Task Manager.19 -
Boss assigned me a task on Google Docs:
Boss: "Please remove this line"
Me: "What!? You're already there! How hard is it to fucking select the fucking sentence with your fucking touchpad and press the fucking delete key on your fucking keyboard!? Why assign me with such a fucking waste of time and fucking trivial task!?"16 -
> needs to do a long task with many repeated steps
> writes a script to do it
> writing the script takes more time than actually doing the task
but the satisfaction of seeing that script working :)7 -
Recently I tried to apply for a job and the company sent me a task to complete. It was on Java, write an app to sort input file with ability to choose a method and dislpay it. GUI with Swing or JavaFX. They said normally it will took 8-10 hours to complete it and they wanted to see, what I can do in 4hrs. So after 4 hrs I've done~75% and sent it and after 2 more I've sent the whole app with monkey-proof protection (validations, prompts, etc). So total of 6hrs. I've followed MVC structure and implemented OOP principles.
They liked it and this Thursday I'm having an interview 😊
Wish me good luck :D6 -
So my recommendation will be to cool off first, after any intellectual task like programming — before going to bed.
5 -
Me: doing light browsing.
CPU Fan: increases frequency like crazy.
Me: opens task manager.
Windows 10: 60% cpu usage.
Me: sort processes by cpu usage; sum does not match.
Me: closes iTunes update window.
CPU usage: drops to less than 10%.
The update had already finished and the CPU usage was 60%!!!
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, APPLE?3 -
Hey man can you fix my tv, computer, toaster, phone, or hack this phone i found, can you hack me a wifi, can you make me a website/app i have a really good idea. (For free of course)
Hey man you only need a good idea for an app then become rich.
(Insert countless of other retarded requests here)
Someone kill me6 -
Not sure if posted before, but I found this useful tool, good enough to leave simple 'to do' directly on the server
https://github.com/klaussinani/...
11 -
Just started my new position and discovered that company's tasks, bugs & versions are managed in single Google Doc 😐9
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"Do you want to terminate the batch task? (Y/N)"
"N"
*it terminates*
@angular/cli are you maybe a girl?
7 -
Lotus notes (or IBM Notes, as it is now called).
It is so efficient at frustrating you that when it hangs that it often requires its own dedicated task killer (killnotes) instead of Windows Task Manager.6 -
Visual Studio wasn't responding and I wanted to close it via task manager ... But as I clicked the button "close task" task manager wasn't responding😭
5 -
Found my most ridiculous function ever, back from when I was first learning.
async Task Delay(int time)
{
await Task.Delay(time)
}2 -
Task: A mobile Application in less than an hour
- Headphones [x]
- Zone Music [x]
- Fan [x]
- Linux [x]
- VSCode [x]
- Terminal [x]
Now, let's get into the zone6 -
Uh, I gotta do Task #1337. It better is a good one!
*reads the title*
"Write technical documentation for... "
... D'oh! -
That moment when writing code to perform a one time task ends up taking more time than just doing the task manually6
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PM: We have to do this this and this. How long will it take you?
Me: Looks like a 4 hr job
PM: ok
Me: Still not complete after 2 days
Me every time :D3 -
Programming is not about learning many languages, it's about making a way to simplify a task. With increasing it's productivity and minimizing task duration.2
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DigitalOcean's and Microsoft's Hacktoberfest done!
And my computer got so slow for some reason.
(Presses Ctrl + Shift + Esc)
Oh shit.
4 -
Proud Windows fanboy - If something is "Not responding", try "Task manager". Then everything is cool
But you see, it's actually "Task manager" that is "Not responding"3 -
Anyone else experienced that the not responding apps come back to life when you're about to open Task Manager or you've opened it already? I suspect they get scared of their god.1
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Not particularly advice, but taught me Git, React, Node and bought me pizza whenever I succeeded in a task3
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JIRA Push Notification: [Task] Assigned to <PM>
JIRA Email: [Task] Assigned to <PM>
Hangouts: <PM> I removed that task from you.
5 minutes later at my desk: PM: "Did you see my hangouts? You don't need to do that task anymore."
1 -
Task:
Prevent users deleting items from the tokenInput.
Solution:
onDelete: function(item){
$("#token_input").tokenInput("add",item);
} -
"How long it takes to complete a task"
A slightly exaggerated illustration of why I enjoy coding alone ^^
2 -
The client asks me to do some task today.
After I successfully submitted the compiled task, client asks, but do we really need this thing?
I was like, -_-
We all have been there, haven't we?3 -
Create value, not work
Can't believe I'm asked to do something that I feel is absolutely worthless
Okay, yes I know I need to get paid...
Let's just say I don't share the vision with whoever came up with these tasks4 -
My boss just gave me a task that Stack Overflow tells me is impossible. He's a senior architect.
-__-6 -
Got a new task today.
I don't really know what to do with it.
My boss just came to me.
Boss: You know that part of our app?
Me: Yeah but never used it and someone else wrote it
B: Yeah I know. You have to make it better.
M: How?
B: Just make it better. Think about it.
M: ...
So now I'm sitting here looking at that feature (which works perfectly for everyone using it) and have absolutely no idea what to improve with it7 -
I'm surprised how after using gulp task with minify js, css, html, smoosh and compress to gz file the whole web size down from 200kb to 20kb.
That let me think what a shit web developer I'm and what cool are those things.1 -
just got paid for my first upwork task. feels really good. some clients are absolutely amazing! ^_^10
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It's 5pm whooooo!
Let's quickly bash this last query out for the day - seeing as I should have finished an hour ago anyway.
Spin up VM, it's been inactive for 6 months.... yay, login... "incorrect password" tries again "incorrect password", did I forgot it... no it's been the same for years,
ok let's try again slowly,
ok logged in,
jump into mysql,
write up this query,
join this table, join that table, join this other table, and this other, and this one, hahaha, and this one over here... sweet it's been months and I still no my way around this maze!
And now for the moment of truth... run!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
And bam, black screen, loading spinner, "Windows is updating"
NOoOooOooOooo!
Fuck it I'm out!11 -
One just doesn't give a task to be commpleted in 2 days, changes the task heavily and still be in the same deadline.2
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I only wish that my agile team comes up with the task breakup and documents the implementation approach to our project, as good as this kid did, while panning for a party!
img source: reddit
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Mission Accomplished: Stickers
Next Task: Stress ball.
Beginning now...
Sargent :AlphaNu
Platform :devRant
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Soo my dad has a food printer he uses to print edible images on cakes our customers order. The food printer needs to run at least once a week (regularly) to kinda guarantee not to get fucked up with its ink, as that can damage the printer when it's dry. My dad though doesn't have regular orders...
The printer has a standard function to test all colors.
My dad asked me how this task could be managed regularly, as I'm the IT guy 🙄. His idea was to log all the dates on paper.
Now I'm trying to automate this task via Windows so we don't have to care about papers to manually log when the next test must run. On Windows the printer settings can be accessed to run this color check.
... I've got a feeling this will be another one of those tasks that I will overengineer over the top😅. I've already done my research with automated batch jobs (never done batch before) but the normally proposed code for a "Düsentestmuster", so the color check, prints a different overview I was not expecting, which doesn't fit the purpose.
Now I'm here and, as I currently see no way of simplifying it, I have to kinda simulate a person that opens these settings and runs this check. With Python, pyautogui and Tesseract OCR, to prevent the program from clicking anything wrong. Although I'm sure there should be an easier way for this, I haven't found it, so I guess I have to proceed on this path and take the experience I gain as a bonus...10 -
So today Windows Explorer crashed and so my task bar didn't work. I open task manager, selected the process and pressed restart only for it to take out my whole desktop...
Just what I wanted it to do... Thank you... -_-5 -
while finishing my almost 3-day easy task with bg music of evanescence, one of my boss sent this image.
1 -
that feeling when everything isnt responding anymore so i thought task manager could handle it..... turns out task manager is like everything else....
Task Manager (not responding) -
No man's sky: I can imagine the devs fighting management and marketing letting them know that what they were selling was bullshit and they be like 0 fucks given.2
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Who has too much time on their hands and wants a throwaway project? :)
Say there are some poll results. Like this one. Each item has xx.yy% of all the votes. The task would be to come up with an algorythm that would read in those results and make a few predictments on how many participants were in this poll :)
I don't need it, I just came up with it and thought it might be a fun project for someone. I know I'd go for it if I had free time on my hands :)
P.S. if you're up for it, sharing a solution code is more than welcome!
20 -
Note for managers,
If your intern doing 6hours task in 3 hours doesn't mean he is ready for next task.
It is fucking mean that he did his task give him time to take some breath.1 -
What's the use of implementing JIRA when you'll still demand sending daily reports with time duration for every task?!3
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well fuck me, just spent the whole weekend (about 33 hrs) not being able to solve a task from uni with a java program we had to write🙄😪
the problem was a given set of movies with a weekday, the begin time, the duration, the title, and a "score"
the movies take place in one week (random days, random amount of movies) and every movie can be shown multiple times
our task was to find a sequence of non-overlapping (all unique) movies with a score of at least a given number
all in text form
i tried dynamic programming but the more i tried, the more it got complicated, so i ended up using "earliest finishing time first"
my code is just 3 points under the goal and i don't know what to change anymore😒, also some friends did the exact same and succeeded somehow
copying (and obfuscating) won't work, as the codes will be compared by a very good "copy checker"
let's hope i'll still have a chance for an exam😐2 -
2 months into my first dev job, everything looks like a Jira ticket now.
Mum: wash the dishes
Me: create a ticket for that... i estimate the story points to be 27 -
PC: *37 tabs open in chrome and a gradle task running*
Me: *trying to close a tab*
PC: Bitch please2 -
Got my first task today while still being under training (large worldwide corporation - OMS department) and I'm practically drowning! Oh you wonderful devs give me strength!4
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Producer meets designer.
Monday, 10am email "new task added: implement this new feature. Priority: can wait forever"
Tuesday, 4pm email "change on task: implement this new feature. Priority: urgent, it's a must on wednesday's build"
2 -
When you start an informatics course and your first task is to create a virtual machine. With Ubuntu.3
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Stopped running Grunt ( Task runner for JavaScript ) process, watching files for changes
Memory usage dropped by around 1.5-2 GB 😑2 -
in the freelance marketplaces, some people write, "Need a freelance developer for SMALL TASK". who the hell defines those tasks as SMALL task? if you knew this is a SMALL task, why don't you just do it yourself? if its so small, why don't you just ignore it? if its a small task, why don't you just spend five-ten minutes of your "precious" time to learn how to fix it?
& then when it comes to paying, they say, "My budget is 5$, because its a small task"
Seriously? in 5$ my electricity bill wouldn't be covered.
& Then comes to the marketplace commission! Most of the times, its about 20%
So, I get 4$
Then it comes to the bank tax and blah blah!
So, now I get around 2$ or 3$
Now, I don't know whom should I kill first -_-
The clients or the marketplace owner or the government or the bank owner or myself :}11 -
Anyone ever wondered how hard it is to fill feedbacks and performance growth of your own, which the manager will be evaluating..
The situation is so ironic.. u want to write the best about you, but don't want to look like bragging abt yourself in the same time..4 -
I appreciate people making tutorials to help people learn, but please, please, please, choose a different topic than creating a task list next time.
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Go out for smoke to think about my task..
While smoking, open dev rant and start posting 😁😁
Fuck the task !!!1 -
Sometimes I just want to complete the current task without it getting reprioritize by anything else ?
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I just went to pee and I spent like 10 minutes reading devrant and I got paid for it.
Yes I pee sitting.2 -
How the tech industry works:
> Find a task that makes you go outside to do that task
> make an app to do it from home2 -
that moment when you get 30 asana email notifications starting with "Assigned to You" and you're about to faint.
But then you realize you have a long-winded coworker.1 -
How control the RAM when working by Androidstudio and chrome?!
Well, just tell the magic spell
Wingardium Leviosaaaa
5 -
Anyone here here has used pluralsight? Really powerful platform for learning IT stuff, I have learned tons with it3
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When you're not doing anything until 4pm then suddenly project manager give a task to finish until 5..2
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Nothing like using a ThreadPoolExecutor to thread out my shitty selenium task, so it will go just a bit faster.
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We often give access to a product owner from the customer on our Jira to keep up a good communication and everyone stays up to date as everything is on the board and not hidden in emails or paper notes on the desk of the guy that is on vacation.
So far, so good
Our customers really like this as they can comment on tickets and they are integrated in the workflow because they can push into the backlog and can review finished tasks.
It is just getting better for everyone so where is the rant?
One project is just a dump of shitty mixed content tickets. But how? They look really neat. There are tickets like "fixes from meeting 20th of may" which are initially well structured with approximately 4 subtle changes to the UI and some explanation and screenshots.
PM says: Good ticket. There you go ticket, into the customer review loop of doom.
20 comments and 13 status changes later. Point 43 from comment 17 is referenced in comment 20 to keep on hold as a third party needs to give feedback, point 7 is still not solved correctly as dev 2 was not aware that it was already discussed and changed in the ticket "Call from 25th of may" where in addition the resolution of points 5-12 were requested with an additional excel file to import.
By now we have the 8th of august and literally 17 of these kind of tickets.
I guess we need to improve the workflow and request a new product owner. But this far I just table flip everytime I get one of these tickets assigned.2 -
Programmer lesson #3
Always focus on a single task while coding...
If you encounter any non blocking bug or additional task add it in `Do-it-later` list...
If you don't...the bug or task might take majority of crucial time which you should actually utilise for the main task at hand...3 -
today i was told that being lazy means not doing a task... and not writing a script to do a task... how preposterous
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”Such a quiet day, maybe I’ll start doing that task which requires my full concentration!”
*starts doing the task*
Phone proceeds to start ringing non-stop for the next hour or two.. -
My most challenging task during development is choosing variable names.
I make a mess during this process.5 -
I'm curious the community's opinion on this:
how stupid it's sounds like (in enterprise level companies and systems):
"If you can automate a task on frontend, you should move the task and automation to backend"2 -
It’s seems like I can’t finish anything at work. I’m working on a data migration routine since last week. Almost finished but hit some Barriers, had to ask my boss for help, he finally was able to solve the problem. But then I had to move to another task, and realized I will have to change the data structure of the app after a long time working on the task. I know somethings take longer, but i feel so unproductive when I’m not finishing tasks everyday :/2
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It's really annoying when u focusing on one task, and everything is planned and scheduled properly. And then Ur boss come in and assign u another task again, endless side project.1
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Background: I am working on task x. On successful completion of task x, task y may be given to me. Task x is haaaaaard. My group is not the only player and any fuck up will break my group and at least two others. Now here is my story:
Me: Yeah I am doing this hard thing and that hard thing and getting ready for these hard meetings.
FormerCoWorker fcw (): wow that sounds hard.
CurrentCoWorker ccw (): yeah he's working on task x and task you.
Me me (): what? No I'm not. I am working on task x. Don't go randomly assigning me tasks like that.
ccw: well if you finish task x you will be an expert in section z of code. So it is only natural you take on task you.
me: yeah but task x sucks and task y is why several engineers have quit the company. You never know. You could be assigned task y and quit. Why do I have to take on task y and quit?
NGL, I will do it of they promote me. I may be a whore, but I am gonna get paid. -
Just do the easy part(s) of the task first. Once you see that the task isn't as bad as anticipated, you're more likely to just tackle the whole thing. That's my experience anyway.2
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Why is it so hard for some programmers to gain the maximum performance and not to waste any resources?7
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Devs out there.. what is your celebration / how do you celebrate when your task / code works as you expected .10
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I am working on a task given to me by a huge company to test my skill.
I am applying for a junior position.
I am doing it by myself of course but I googled a bit and the problem is called job shop scheduling or multiprocessor scheduling (not sure which one it actually is).
The topic is a bit altered (logistics) but it stil is the same problem.
I am really close to the solution.
The testcases they provided all work but I came up with some that don't.
Do you think this problem is appropiate for a junior (either of those)? -
A team blacklisted a series of words in order to prevent XSS. Obviously they failed terribly. Like they filtered 'alert(' and crap like that. Like a hacker is going to alert stuff using xss. I opened a bug to their team.1
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For the first time in my life, I feel good about myself.
In 3 years since I finished my Software Engineering BSc, I made some progress;
I learned React.js, and got into MobX team doing open source.
I learned ClojureScript and RoR and feel comfortable with them.
I do dev tasks and maintenance tasks myself, and enjoy them.
and I care.
I just care. -
Third day of working on my recruitment task, and I'm starting to get pissed. I'm applying for Junior JS developer (suprised that they even picked me, I had 1 JS project in my resume, rest was Java). The task seemed simple, create website with autocomplete field which gets 10 cities with most polluted air from given country and get cities deacription from Wikipedia. But hell no. First, the air quality API that they told me to use sucks horse dick. Like seriousy, you can get a fucking timeout while fetching data, because as author explained, someone decided to make 2 fucking queries per request, one to count all possible results, and then the second one for actual data. Like, WTF, why would you do that. After I got that shit to work from time to time, it was time to Wikipedia API. And the shitshow starts again. Because it turns out that you can't filter the results based on the category. Which means that if the city has the same name as river or some fucking guy doing sports, I won't get the fucking description, because it will simply return info, that there are more more that 1 result. At this point, I'm so fucking pissed, I am barely keeping it together. I want to work at this company, because the pay is great, there are a lot of opportunities and shot, but god dammit, if I finish this task, I'm getting drunk for 3 days straight.
EDIT: even author of the air quality API says that it is not a good fit for given task...4 -
so one of our managers sent me an email what has to be changed in our FAQ section which runs on WP...
but then i remembered, our cleaning lady had a surgery and wasn't here for a week, maybe she will not come for another week and the kitchen is already starting to get real smelly...
so i created a user for our manager and sent him the credentials to his brand new WP editor account so he can make his changes and went to wash the dishes instead
the end.1 -
> Be me
> Fresh out of school
> Do some volunteer work for 1 year before starting to work
> Start work at local hospital
> One day get assigned new task
> "We have this directory where there is a file for every employee who has a key - File contains legal stuff"
> Current naming scheme "MaxMustermann"
> Desired naming scheme "Max Mustermann"
> Task: rename every file.
> 1974 Files
> OHNONONONO.JPG
> Hol up buddy
> A repetetive automatable task?
> I know this
> Im a hackerman
> Let's write a script....
> *SMASHES WINDOWS BUTTON*
> "Python"
> No results
> I could have guessed that
> *SMASHES WINDOWS BUTTON*
> "Java"
> No Java compiler
> OH no
> *SMASHES WINDOWS BUTTON*
> "Powershell"
> "tHe eXEcUTIon oF poWeRsheLL sCriPts Is dIsAbLeD"
> REEEEEEEE
> *SMASHES WINDOWS BUTTON*
> "cmd"
> "YOu dO noT haAV thE rEqUiReD peRmIsSionS To oPeN tHis proGrAm"
> DAFUQ
> Wait this is windows.
> Windows ships with .NET
> *SMASHES WINDOWS BUTTON*
> "csc"
> No results
> OHHELLONO.gif
> mfw I have to rename 1794 files by hand.
( Please send help )7 -
Anyone using SCCM to deploy Windows 10?
If we add Software Updates to the Task Sequence, all sorts of apps get installed too. We have Consumer Features disabled, but for some reason updating during OSD seems to ignore it and installs apps anyways?
Anyone else with this issue? -
Teamlead: Can you integrate feature X to project Y? The dev maintaining that project has lots of work and does not know how to do it, and we need to deliver it next week.
Me: Sure, I know that feature should not take long.
BIG MISTAKE!
For 2 hours now I'm trying to get that fucking project to run... errors, faulty configuration, tons of missing stuff in the project environment.
The list of errors grows with every step I get further. And I have not even started with the feature I should work on.
So good luck next week, my dear colleague, I'm not the one finishing your tasks from the past few months, I'm just fixing the stuff I actually need to finish my task. -
Task on freelancer : There are (too) many adblocker detection plugins. I want you to select one, test it at your local development environment (we will not provide) that it does the following:
- reliably discovers an AdBlocker
- does not interfere with regular ad serving (AdSense) if no AdBlocker is installed at user's browser
****- shows alternate banners (coming from our servers, so they look like regular pictures instead) even when AdBlocker is active *******
OKAY Now reality was that pre thought, pondered by PM ?
anyway adblocks seems doing Acceptable ads* which might be payed for ;)1 -
"We don't have time for refactoring this PR now, please open a new task and we'll work on it asap."
Merge, Deploy, and set new task as Won'tFix two hours later :-/ -
Me: hey there is too many task priority level 0
Manager: there's no problem, parallelized them !
...1 -
Feeling stupid as fuck in a group programming with our lead engineer (and Im the one driving). Tell me Im not useless :(1
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It's the small things. Chronos task run syntax:
- P10M = 10 months
- PT10M = 10 minutes
And for some reason, lots of our task are defined to only run every 10 months, should be run every 10 minutes though.
Even weirder: Why do most of our tasks run daily? Either we have some cron job task firing curl requests at chronos rest api, or some poor content managers clicks a button daily. -
Whenever I am assigned a task, I always feel like I understand, but when I work with it for a while and present the results, the task owner is not quite satisfied.
Any ideas of how one can solve tasks better?4 -
Hi everyone! I'm in need of some help regarding the approach to my bachelor thesis.
The practical stuff is basically clickstream/task and usability analysis on an existing platform and creating mockup improvements for some processes. I was thinking about using a spider to generate a tree (or another datastructure) regarding all the different tasks available and then trying to optimise said tree, thus automatically optimising the processes within. I'm having however issues imagining how this optimisation might be generalised for more than this one platform.
Basically, I'm a bit lost and grasping for any pointers in any direction regarding these ideas.3 -
In my school it is possinle(after a system update) to use the taskmanager at out windows pcs.
I could send any installed security/content restricion application to hell -
I can't seem to get people motivated...
I supervise them closely - they complete one task a month.
I leave them be - they complete one task a month.
Did I just hire poor developers?12 -
Every time I'm working on a task as soon as I need to write some hack, dirty code, that does work, but creates overhead in the run time performance or makes the project a mess. I stop and can't continue with this task...
it locks my mind and progress where after a while. I simply give up and do it anyway or give someone else the task.
How to deal with task that have no clean solution?1 -
!rant
There are so many options to pimp my linux system. Is there any point in time, where I will be finished customizing/prettifying my linux? I highly doubt.
BTW.. what is the best way to backup the whole config? (color schemes, themes, gnome extensions)2 -
This one may be obvious but I thought I'd share it:
By default, Windows uploads analytical data of your machine to Microsoft via the Telemetry processes. These are quite the unnecessary and annoying resource hogs.
Well, you can turn that off by searching for Task Scheduler, looking for the Microsoft Compatibility Telemetry tasks and disabling them. Some of them are called Application Experience and Compatibility. I'm sure you'll find it.
As a side note, you can reschedule all of those tasks as you see fit. Some of them are useful and necessary but some aren't, causing bloat. For the useful ones, you can reschedule them once a month or something and not every day.
Pragmatism advised.4 -
Just wondering any of you has seen automated tests in a CI machine? Theyre not reliable enough to be running all the time because many times its just an empty error amd its tedious to investigate and wastes lots of time2
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Dat $15 dollar game maker humble bundle, I dont know if I will ever need it but damn it feels gud.1
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Any non-task-specific talking in the office... I always try not to be too curious, but it's damn hard ;)
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Starting to work on a task, confining to a given tech stack, and realising midway that there is another tech that can do the task more easily and elegantly.
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Choose tools that fit the task, don't force your task to fit the tools. Don't be afraid to leave your comfort zone, because for a good mechanic every screwdriver is useful.
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I got a task to work on during sprint planning on Monday. Felt the task was a 2hour task and procrastinated to do it on Tuesday. Tuesday came and I pushed it to Wednesday.
Today is Friday and I'm just realizing the task is a microservice on it's own. FML1 -
I completed the 2 continues weeks complex task yesterday evening/mid night. And I am in the hospital today :-) Exhausted, tired, and in total mess.
Love <3 programming will kill us. -
QA: Ok, I'll close this task and open a new task on pivotal for the missing features
... He is flirting me ? -
Can you see that title of my resolved task properly? you damned click tester!!!! Just don't reopen my task
easily!!
Phew... thanks devRant. You always here. -
Juggling between multiple feature releases is a difficult task but I would choose that anytime over doing no work the entire day.
P.S. Managing each features individual branches is a task in itself too
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