Got a new job as a Full Stack Engineer. Moving to a new city. Feeling extremely nervous and a bit scary (cause I don't speak the language). Sitting here browsing devRant to ease up and relax.

Boss: Need the software ready till evening.

Me: Haste makes waste.

Boss: You are going to write waste anyway.

Who is repping devrant in the airport

Normally I don't put stickers on my laptops, but today I had to make an exception.

My school blocks all social media websites, so i made a small social media site with chat and going to run it localy on my laptop and they cant block it :D

Today I feel like a monster.

Due to the optimizations/automatizations I have made to the processes in my job, some low level employees are not longer required.... Ever again.

Their last day of work was yesterday, but I'm still uneasy if this is how life is now. If every job will be removed to be made by machines.

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.

"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."

The man below replies, "You must work in management."

"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*

"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."

30,000 lines of undocumented code. How do I deal with that?

Courtesy of Reddit

A moment of respect to people who willingly spend time to help out other people on sites such as StackOverflow

CIA, NSA... if anyone 's listening.. Can you guys please tell me my root password.. :/.. I forgot..

Wish I had seen this one before I cursed Math.random too much!

True programmers can never cross the road without calculating the shortest path to cross....🚸🚧🚔🛣️✋

"Who the fuck wrote this garbage?"
colleague checks commit log
"..."
"Fuck, it was me"

Foo bar!!

—_😂_—

My boss to me: Holy shit dude I think you have very serious case of OCD.

Me: :/

"How does your live chat work?"

just finished installing Netscape 7.0 on my Win 10 machine. works surprisingly better than Edge. way better... when Netscape asked me to become the default browser I had to say yes.

What??? 8GB RAM on mobile is too old?

Fucking ad pop-ups!

Boss walks by my desk. Stops by the printer when coming back and brings me this.

When you keep getting +1s on a rant you posted a month ago.

When your vending machine throws an unhandled exception...

How the Fuck do you verify this shit???

Yeah...Windows...

I was really confused for a second as to why Redhat sent me a pizza...

Rude? Naah!

Windows: it might take some minutes to finish update !
Me:

A system administrator has two problems:
1. stupid users
2. smart users

Ehm... but I think I need it...