When you're sitting in front of a problem the whole day and cannot put your finger on a solution. Stay 45m longer than necessary, implement and push - yet something tickles your brain - something's just not ... right ... although it works .. but

Get out, walk to the subway, wait for your train - and immediately see the solution as clear as day. Hammer perfect Pseudocode in your phone, get strange looks as you laugh out loud - it was soooo easy and right there in front of you the whole time.You even have already used the exact same function today.
So happy, now you can sleep without a brain-tickle

The Angular 2 documentation taught how I must split everything into a gazillion different files, to separate the languages. Now I'm learning React and JSX, and I'm starting to question my very existence in the universe...

I have to actually like what I'm working on to get in the zone, and a nice glass of water;

You can't forget the good 'ol " fuck off, I'm coding " sign though.

Rebuilding a whole disintegrating legacy plain-PHP project from zero in my favourite framework alone with data importers and stuff in 6 weeks.
Gave me some dreamless nights, but it was a great adventure.

This morning, a client called the office in anger because something wasn't working. The programmer who picked up the phone kindly tried to explain that he wasn't in charge and couldn't do anything at that moment. A few hours later, the client called back apologizing to that developer! We were all sitting there like 'wft just happened'

I have previously mentioned my weird co-worker. He likes to come up behind people and shoulder surf, asking "whatcha up to, buddy?".

He also thinks he's a manager, which explains a lot I guess. I half expect him to walk around with an " Initech" mug saying "Yeah....if you could just have those TPS reports done by lunch, that would be greaaat".

YOU ARE NOT MANAGEMENT. YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT I SPECIALIZE IN. GO FIX A PRINTER, GAH DAMMIT.

...and he mumbles.

I'm not perfect though, so I'm sure I have weird quirks about me.

Recursion...

When you don't test EVERYTHING...

Is there any Slack where devRanters can come together, talk and collaborate on stuff?

Could we please have something like:
_italic_ and *bold*
That would be very nice. :D
@dfox

Alias coworker = high school classmate

This kid wore a trench coat to school every single day and I guess he had a chronic masturbation problem because the guy was caught 3 different times IN CLASS jerking off.
Most people would catch a sexual harassment / indecent exposure / public masturbation charge, but this kid was breaking all these national math competition records and was working with a local university doing research and had a 4.5+ GPA (in high school in U.S. that's possible) so the school decided to do 2 things.

1. Not punish the kid, and in fact nothing of this was ever put on any record at all.
2. Write him a note from school administrators saying that this student can leave class whenever he would like no questions asked, and that the teacher must notify the office so they could send a security guard in order for this masturbation obsessed student to literally occupy a bathroom as his jerk off chamber uninterrupted.

So if in the past 6-7 years you've been in a high caliber university studying computer science and there was a kid in a trench coat "feeding some geese" near you, you can thank my high school.

One of the students in my department was smart and driven, but also really awkward. I had known him perhaps better than most other students, and had gleaned that he was depressed and had low self esteem.

On a few occasions he tied a noose out of an ethernet cable hanging from the ceiling and played "Pumped Up Kicks" when asked to choose a song at a party. Really strange stuff. If we had been betting on who would turn out a school shooter, I would've put my money on him.

Anyway, he graduated last year and this year I found out federal agents raided his home because he was building pipe bombs and intended to kill a bunch of people and himself. He's now doing at least 10 years in prison.

Socialize

"There are only two industries that call their customers ‘users’: illegal drugs and software"
- Edward Tufte

Source: https://twitter.com/scottjenson/...

I know someone from Uni who used a green text on red background IDE to make sure the colourblind person sat next to him couldn't copy his code...

Can confirm

Back home from college.
Now I have to work with 128Kbps internet. And oh look steam sale 🙋.
Better buy a 23 gigs game to test my patience evn further..

Ranting abouth ranting site! More rants, less 9gag shit! I come here for stress releace from my bug riden code and frustration. Not to read funny pics and texts. Its Super calming for some reason to read other people strugle too. Maby becourse its some times lonely work and you need to know that its not always innovation and fucking rainbow land. I have a suggestion to make a different section purely for rants?

A message to all the ranters asking for plusses:
Please stop asking for the plusses. Just have patience and write good rants! The rest will come all by it self.
Merry christmas everyone!

When fixing things in hurry..

A speech to text ide for programming when you are feeling lazy.

😂😂😂😂😂😂

USB == USA++

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE !!!!

and i only need one more upvote to get a stress ball !

How many of you use the dark theme on here?

The best way to learn programming is debugging.

Manager: The thing you working on. We need this now! Like end of the week.

Me: Desirability is not do-ability.

Manager: く( ・◇・)ヾ？

Me: I am still in the middle of figuring out how to do things in the first place, so there are some technologies to research and some problems I yet need to solve. I am in no state to just write down my solution. I don't even have enough information to even estimate how long it is going to take. I am getting there. And yes, I can rush things, but need I remind you that you want solid data as a result that actually means something? As this is *why* this whole project was started. We have some old project doing the exact same thing, but whose output we don't trust. I wonder how that came to be. Additionally, this whole project was on hold for months until I took over. So I neither understand nor accept this sudden sense of urgency. And by the way, you recently added manpower to this project. And adding manpower almost always decreases the productivity in the beginning due to on-boarding and communication overhead. Last Monday, I didn't write a single line of code due to that. So no, this week will not do, as I am also on vacation starting on Thursday that was requested and was approved by you at the beginning of the year. See you in January.

Really makes you think.

When you don't use window for a long time.

I was explaining git and Github to one of my friends during our boring maths class when he asked : "What is the difference between git and Github?". Just then another friend of mine sitting in front turns out and said : "It's like the difference between porn and Pornhub".