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Everyday i used to spend an hour in the morning reading emails.
Until i made a script that reads all mails, parses to urgent/priorities/meetings etc. Then shows me a dashboard of everything. 1 hr turned to 20mins max.
Then i made a chatbot out of it and now i just talk to it everytime and gives me the rundown.
Gave me so much time to code instead of reading fucking emails.74 -
R: Random ass recruiter on LinkedIn
Me: me
R: Hey I was searching for X skill and your name popped up first. Would you like to work for our company? It's an urgent position with good pay and awesome latest tech
Me: I quit that very company 5 months ago, because the pay was low and the tech was from the 1990's.
R: :/
Me: :|
PS: I'm not 100% sure of this, but based off the tech stack, I'm pretty sure it was for the same fucking position I quit from.4 -
Got an email from client with subject starting with "VERY URGENT", the email mentioned how urgent it is to fix this issue multiple times, it implied that they couldn't do anything else while this issue existed, but they were very light on details. So sparse on them that I couldn't reproduce the issue. 15 minutes after the original email I write a reply asking for some clarifications.
They proceed not to reply for 4 days. Fix took 5 minutes after they explained the problem better.
Apparently it wasn't so urgent after all.6 -
Client: Urgent! App is crashing!
Me inside: Wtf, Crashlytics didn’t send me anything, it betrayed me...
Me: What’s wrong?
Client: Some random user sent me email that app is crashing SOMEWHERE(!?)
Me: ................................... no problem, I’m working on it.
*Tomorrow*
Me: Fixed, everything works fine now (didn’t do anything actually)
Client: Great, nice work!
Client never mentioned that “problem “ anymore.
#likeaboss4 -
Boss: Can you do Task#1?
Me: Ok *start coding, building..
*15 minutes later
Boss: Hey, that client need some fixes and it's urgent, please do Task#2
Me: sure, *switch to the new task
*30 minutes later
Boss: anything new about Task#1, I told you to do it almost one hour ago..
Me: Oh sorry, I forgot my other 3 hands at home..
Boss: what?..
Me: Because those fuckening two hands are working on Task#2, which is urgent as you said..
Boss: *walks away..16 -
Manager: The thing you working on. We need this now! Like end of the week.
Me: Desirability is not do-ability.
Manager: く( ・◇・)ヾ？
Me: I am still in the middle of figuring out how to do things in the first place, so there are some technologies to research and some problems I yet need to solve. I am in no state to just write down my solution. I don't even have enough information to even estimate how long it is going to take. I am getting there. And yes, I can rush things, but need I remind you that you want solid data as a result that actually means something? As this is *why* this whole project was started. We have some old project doing the exact same thing, but whose output we don't trust. I wonder how that came to be. Additionally, this whole project was on hold for months until I took over. So I neither understand nor accept this sudden sense of urgency. And by the way, you recently added manpower to this project. And adding manpower almost always decreases the productivity in the beginning due to on-boarding and communication overhead. Last Monday, I didn't write a single line of code due to that. So no, this week will not do, as I am also on vacation starting on Thursday that was requested and was approved by you at the beginning of the year. See you in January.11 -
Manager: Oh my god have you heard of libraries? I don’t even need to hire developers anymore, everything can just be done with code other people have already built for free
Dev: Well you actually cause a bit of technical debt when you use an abstrac—
Manager: EVERY TICKET SHOULD BE DONE USING LIBRARIES GOING FORWARD.
Dev: …This is going to implode…Can we at least fund some of the libraries we end up using?
Manager: WHAT? NO! Open source developers are suckers, what idiot puts code on the internet for free?? I shouldn’t be required to fund their stupidity. Let’s just take their stuff and make money with it.
Dev: *Phone rings 100th time today from recruiter*. One sec I have to take this call……It’s urgent.13 -
Manager: You know you did good this week, take the entire day off tomorrow
Dev: Really?
Manager: Yeah my treat.
Dev: Can you send that to me in an email?
Manager: ….I mean yeah, but I don’t see why that is necessary
*** About halfway through The next day
Manager: WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?! YOU HAVEN’T COMPLETED A SINGLE TICKET TODAY OR REVIEWED A SINGLE PR OR EVEN SO MUCH AS ATTENDED THE STANDUP. EXPLAIN YOURSELF!
Dev: You said I could take the day off today?
Manager: YEAH BUT YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO ACTUALLY TAKE IT OFF!! I WAS GIVING YOU THE OPPORTUNITY TO SHOW DEDICATION TO THE COMPANY BY COMING IN ANYWAY BUT NO YOU THOUGHT YOU’D JUST TAKE ADVANTAGE OF OUR GENEROSITY AND HAVE AN ENTIRE DAY TO YOURSELF?! GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS, THERE ARE URGENT TICKETS ON THE BOARD!
Dev: …15 -
Boss: Come to my office right now! Its urgent
Me: *goes to his office*
Boss: Please install chrome for me
Me: *hands in resignation letter*5 -
In an effort to deal with the number of “top priority” tickets, management has come up with a new priority level, “urgent”, to help differentiate between tickets that are “top priority” and tickets that are actually “top priority”.
So as you can guess all tickets are now codified as “urgent”.
I’ve suggested management downgrade some tickets back to merely “top priority” as we’re clearly right back where we started with it being difficult to determine which order to do tickets in.
They’ve ignored my request as the bletherings of a clearly unenlightened peon, and have instead came up with a new priority, “mission critical” which will be reserved for the most hallowed of emerg— oh no wait everything is now “mission critical” who would have guessed?
So “Top priority” is the now lowest priority a ticket can have…Naturally.16 -
Our dear freelance web dev, you absolutely need to come to our office on the other side of the city during working hours when it's impossible to find parking space for an urgent meeting to discuss you copy/pasting to a web page a simple block of text we'll send you via email
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!rant
Boss: Something urgent has come up, can you take care of this.
Me: Okay.... But I am already working on X and it's a critical thing.
Boss: No, X is no longer of priority. You need to now pick up Y.
Me: But I was already........ Never mind. Yeah sure I will start working on Y.
Next day
Boss : What is the update on X?
Me: I was working on Y, also wasn't it de prioritized.
Boss : I think I was very clear when I communicated to you that X is very critical. Also you need to learn to manage your time.
Me: FUCK MY LIFE19 -
Corporate IT: YOU MUST COME INTO THE OFFICE. WE JUST RECEIVED AN URGENT NOTIFICATION FROM APPLE OF A SECURITY VULNERABILITY IN iOS DEVICES. YOU HAVE BEEN IDENTIFIED AS HAVING A MAC ASSET. COME INTO THE OFFICE IMMEDIATELY AND UPDATE IT.
Dev: I don’t use that mac, it sits in my office desk drawer unplugged. I’ll update it if I ever need it for anything. Which I won’t, we don’t do iOS dev anymore.
Corporate IT: NOOOOO!!! YOU MUST UPDATE IT NOW!!!
Dev: I’m not wasting time driving into the office this week. We have an important deadline we’re working on, I can’t afford to lose 2 hours to this. Plus it can’t be turned on right now, It’s been unplugged for 2 years.
Corporate IT: THAT WOULDN’T STOP A HACKER!!
Dev: …11 -
Hey, Root? How do you test your slow query ticket, again? I didn't bother reading the giant green "Testing notes:" box on the ticket. Yeah, could you explain it while I don't bother to listen and talk over you? Thanks.
And later:
Hey Root. I'm the DBA. Could you explain exactly what you're doing in this ticket, because i can't understand it. What are these new columns? Where is the new query? What are you doing? And why? Oh, the ticket? Yeah, I didn't bother to read it. There was too much text filled with things like implementation details, query optimization findings, overall benchmarking results, the purpose of the new columns, and i just couldn't care enough to read any of that. Yeah, I also don't know how to find the query it's running now. Yep, have complete access to the console and DB and query log. Still can't figure it out.
And later:
Hey Root. We pulled your urgent fix ticket from the release. You know, the one that SysOps and Data and even execs have been demanding? The one you finished three months ago? Yep, the problem is still taking down production every week or so, but we just can't verify that your fix is good enough. Even though the changes are pretty minimal, you've said it's 8x faster, and provided benchmark findings, we just ... don't know how to get the query it's running out of the code. or how check the query logs to find it. So. we just don't know if it's good enough.
Also, we goofed up when deploying and the testing database is gone, so now we can't test it since there are no records. Nevermind that you provided snippets to remedy exactly scenario in the ticket description you wrote three months ago.
And later:
Hey Root: Why did you take so long on this ticket? It has sat for so long now that someone else filed a ticket for it, with investigation findings. You know it's bringing down production, and it's kind of urgent. Maybe you should have prioritized it more, or written up better notes. You really need to communicate better. This is why we can't trust you to get things out.
*twitchy smile*21 -
I went out of office for a while, and when I was going to sit on my desk, a co-worker said me “Elizadeath, the boss wanna talk with you”. I was concerned, I though “maybe something broke in production code, or they need an urgent code, I don’t know”.
Well, that wasn’t what I expected.
“Elizadeath” she said “I’m seriously worry about you. I saw the plastic bottles our team has collected for the recyling project, and I realized that most of the Coca-Cola bottles came from you!”
Yes, it was a Coca-cola addiction intervention 😂 I’m drinking more water and less coke from now, for my health 😊
17 -
Product: Hey, this screwdriver feature I never requested isn’t there. Why? Can you fix it? It’s kinda urgent.
Product: @Root please jump on the ticket above … fairly urgent.
Root: It’s Friday, I’m out next week, and I’m working on finishing <urgent comma ticket> right now.
Boss: Work on the screwdriver instead. But make sure you finish the comma ticket too!
Boss: By the way, I volunteered you for eight security reviews next month!
Security: You’re on call for AWS audits next month, too!10 -
One of our clients deploy their own server app. So this happened after a prod deployment. (4am)
*Cellphone rings while sleeping*
Client : we need you on the conference call now. URGENT!
*Gets on conference call*
*Client explain the problem*
*Explaining to the client that the problem is in their side (https connection not working, either network or certificate problem)*
*Client doesn't believe it and pushes me for a fix that I have no control on*
*4 hours later in a heated conversation*
Client : ok problem is on our side. We used our SSL certificate from staging with production and thought it would work.
Me :
5 -
Client sends an email after 5 PM. We all left for home.
Client: blah blah blah...We urgently need this app to be done by COB on Monday. Our CEO is going to launching it on Tuesday to the board of Directors.
––Boss forwards me the email––
Boss: Can you get this done by this weekend.
––On Viber––
Boss: I have sent you an urgent email. Let me know.
––My Reply––
Me: This can't be done in a day or 2. Looking at the scope of work, I need at least 8 weeks.
––Boss Replies back––
Boss: You are not performing at the best of your ability. Come and see me on Monday, I need to talk to you about your performance on urgent projects.23 -
"Can you work on this ticket? It's kind of urgent."
-- "OK"
"And could you please not refactor? Just get this done."
-- "Why? What's the issue?"
"The logic is complex. We should not break it."
-- "Erm, that's what the tests are for. So yes, if the need arises, I'll refactor. The tests are my guidelines if the logic breaks or not."
There's a reason we create tests. So let's not hinder code base improvements by some random fear that stuff might break.
If breaks due to refactoring, we'll fix it by adding a valid test case during and then fixing the bug.
If my refactoring does not break the tests, I'll assume the code base is stable.
If your code is untested, then we have a complete different problem.3 -
Contrary to most people I really love to receive email related to jobs when I'm in holiday. I keep important alerts on.
It's like:
email: ***urgent, server down***
me (sipping mojito by the pool): fuck them. let's them deal with that
email: ***requirements all wrong, must develop the feature again***
me (enjoying a dinner): oh, I told them 100 times!, fuck all of them, work for me now, stupid moron.
email: I destroyed by mistake the db with an update..."
me (dancing like crazy): ahahaha I told you that support guys should not have access to production db, fuckfuck you, fix it yourself!!!
and so on..... I don't know, it just boost my pleasure during holiday.9 -
Boss: Where's that urgent hotfix that we needed last week???
*mutters to myself* Still in your inbox, seeking approval before I can put it into production -
Every week is the same. Wake up, new jira ticket. “Build us a pink house”.
*i build a house*
Next day, “URGENT BUG REPORT!!! CRITICAL ISSUE IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT”, click on ticket, “bug report: the house doesn’t have sprinklers”
They didn’t ask for sprinklers. This is not a bug. *i add sprinklers*
Next day, “URGENT BUG REPORT!!! CRITICAL ISSUE IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT ASAP ASAP ASAP”, click on ticket, “bug report: the house is pink.”
HOW IS THAT A BUG TWO DAYS AGO IT WAS LITERALLY A REQUIREMENT
Meanwhile management makes triple my salary6 -
Dear Santa,
I know I'm 11 months early, but I have an urgent request. Please, never make me have to do web development again. It has been 24 hours and I've had enough.
Lots of love,
Me1 -
I was recently hired as a lead devops to a giant shit show. The CTO said he needs someone to do things correctly instead of quickly. This is a conversation I just had this morning
HR: We want you to interview a potential new DevOps engineer
ME: okay, when?
HR: Tomorrow
ME: I won't be able to create interview tests and materials for tomorrow. How's next week
HR: This hire is urgent! It has to be tomorrow
ME: Then you'll have to do the interview without me
HR: We need you to interview them because we've had a few bad hires in the past that we don't want to repeat
ME: The best way to filter out bad hires is with technical tests, which will take time to develop. I can be ready by next week.
HR: We can't give you a weeks notice for each hire, we are in urgent need for more devops.
ME: ...14 -
We had a short power outage this morning. 30 min later I got an "urgent" call that someone's "computer" was not working in another branch of our company.
Not one person in that branch could figure this out so after them repeatedly messaging and calling me for around an hour I decided to come over.
I found out that the power wall plug to the monitor has a switch on it which this person accidentally kicked...
I fixed his problem in around 20 seconds. This same employee was one that somehow had his email account previously "hacked" and 8000 phishing emails were sent from his account in 1 hour.
I honestly think it is amazing people like this can even use a computer at all...5 -
Mgmt: We will need you to work on Saturday
Me: I'm afraid I can't, I have plans that cannot be rescheduled.
Mgmt: Then please call your coleague out of vacation. Treat this as super urgent.
Me: I do not feel comfortable calling him out as, as you know, he is on leave (family emergencies) and it is a weekend. I do not think it would be ethical to do so either.
Mgmt: *crickets chirping in my mailbox*
Me: *Updating my LinkedIn*6 -
I got assigned approximately 20 tasks, all are high priority.
Coworker got assigned 2 tasks, (“like fix button sizes and padding”, “localisation “)
He completed.
I got questioned: “are you sure you are a senior developer? Are you doing your work at all? If your coworker can finish low priority tasks in a day , why you as a senior can’t? “
Me :”if you have the ability to see , please tell me how many tasks I have that are in high priority.”
“Exactly, I need you to complete it now , I expect more from you as a senior. “
Me: “why not you tell me which tasks are higher priority? Because can’t be all are urgent. If everything is urgent , nothing is urgent.”
“Stop giving excuses, be a team player.”
Me :” how is it making excuses for asking urgencies of the tasks?”
“Hahaha you called yourself a senior. What a joke”
Me:”likewise, you called yourself a Project manager yet can’t manage. What a joke indeed.”18 -
Dev created a new service for our application that opened SQL connections. The catch? They never closed said connections. How this passed QA/review I've no idea, but after a few minutes on Staging the service would crash with "connection pool overflow".
I raised a urgent defect, and the devs "fix"? To up the maxConnectionPool to Int.Max!! Argh!2 -
My day.
6 am: 2yo woke up
8:30 am: start work (from home)
11 am: go get breakfast/lunch
11:30 am: work call. while driving. Learn nothing new.
12:00 noon: infuriatingly slow errand
12:30 pm: work call. Learn nothing new.
1 pm: finally get to eat. It's cold. And terrible.
6 pm: 2yo finally goes to sleep (missed nap)
9:20 pm: 2yo wakes up screaming.
9:30 pm: find 3 or 4 tablespoons of leftover tuna in the fridge. No bread.
10:45 pm: I finally finish my work (super-urgent friday-morning release of a next-Wednesday-morning deadline... Yeah idfk.)
11:29 pm: 2yo stops yelling and screaming and goes back to sleep
11:39 pm: finish writing this while in bed.
11:40 pm: Sleep?10 -
how to make a feature request
1. dump Db table with 153 column to Excel
2. print!
3. circle column 47 on page 3, scribble feature description
4. scan! remember to use proprietary file format no one has
5. new e-mail, add "VERY URGENT!!!" to subject line
6. write "will call, discuss details monday"
6.a. attach proprietary-scanned-excel-dump-feature-description (optional)
7. postscript: deadline wednesday!!
8. wait for tuesday
9. send!
...3 -
--- URGENT: Major security flaw in Kubernetes: Update Kubernetes at all costs! ---
Detailed info: https://github.com/kubernetes/...
If you are running any unpatched versions of Kubernetes, you must update now. Anyone might be able to send commands directly to your backend through a forged network request, without even triggering a single line in the log, making their attack practically invisible!
If you are running a version of Kubernetes below 1.10... there is no help for you. Upgrade to a newer version, e.g. 1.12.3.
26 -
So my coworker got assigned a task. She copied some code from some crappy site, without even bothering of getting rid of "John Doe" in strings or getting rid of unused functions.
She hands it over me for review and I discover that the code doesn't even work! She didn't even bother running it! Anyways, I knew that the task was urgent, so instead of sending her a review, I trash her code and write everything from scratch.
This morning I woke up with an email from her to the team saying that *she* completed the task. Sorry babe, but I cannot let you take credit for my stuff.7 -
A new urgent request today…
“ITS URGENT WE NEED THIS CODE IN IMMEDIATELY I DONT CARE IF ITS FRIDAY WE NEED IT THERE BY ONE HOUR”
“What is happening?”
“ADD THIS CODE TO OUR CODE”
(A snippet to track marketing conversions from fb)
“Uhhh it’s Friday and our product won’t release to the public for 2 months anyway?”
“YOU DONT GET HOW URGENT IT IS, MUST BE THERE IN AN HOUR OR WE’LL LOSE DATA”
“O….k”
Spoiler: data said that today we had no customers on an unreleased project. Go figure!5 -
The way things are prioritized:
Emergency
Critical
ASAP
Do first
Top priority
Urgent
Urgent ASAP
Major urgent
Fuck sakes.. 😣11 -
10am: meeting invite for 9:30pm my time.
*decline with comment: can’t attend*
9:40pm: email, “is anyone from engineering going to attend?”
*ignored*
10:05pm: email, ok the results of the call were X, Y and Z. But we’ve been asked to supply architecture diagrams (which don’t exist). Can we do this today?
*ignore*
10:45pm: email, guys this is urgent can we do this ASAP!
*ignore*
... welcome to the new world bitches, bite me6 -
Clients: have two-ish years to request their GDPR changes.
Me: receives 20 emails about GDPR changes that need to be made today. All marked as “URGENT”
Also me: lol that fucking sucks for you but I’m busy today
Client: WE NEED TO MAKE THESE CHANGES AS ITS NOW A LAW
me: that’s cool, still busy today3 -
TL;DR
Management eats shit for breakfast
Context:
I am the sole Dev on a project.
Stack: Postgresql, redis, nginx,Java with Spring Boot, Neo4j.
I am the only one nearly familiar with : Redis, Neo4j and anything Java.
I'm gonna be on vacation for the next 15 days since they have told me that we where gonna be on a "testing/feedback" period.
My vacation was approved.
Today's meeting: we have a URGENT deadline to meet some criteria that might be the difference between have further investment or not.
Urgent deadline: last day of my vacation.
My face: poker
My thoughts: attached image
4 -
One of our internal customers to my team: "We need this new feature to be implemented as soon as possible! It's super urgent!! Work on it asap!! PEOPLE ARE DYING!!"
Us: "Ok, we'll prioritize this feature and deliver it as soon as we can"
Them: "Is it ready yet?"
Them: "Is it ready yet?"
Them: "Is it ready yet?"
Them: "Is it ready yet?"
... One month later ...
Them: "Is it ready yet?"
Us: "We're done! We implemented everything as promised! Please give us your credentials so that we can whitelist you and you can start using the new service"
Them: "Okay, we will get back to you"
... Two months have passed since then and still not a single word from them. I'm starting to wonder: are they still alive? 🤔4 -
Me: Dear Boss, what should I do first? Thanks 😇
1. Rush
2. ASAP
3. Urgent
4. Important
5. Priority
6. I Need That Now5 -
Pm: '[...] So when will you set up the server its urgent'
Me: 'look buddy i applied here as a java dev, ended up doing fronted. Fine, i like js, i can do that. But then dont fucking ping me daily with server stuff what has been overcomplicated and i got no idea about, theres a backend team, ask them.'
Pm: 'you said you would do the frontend'
Me: 'yeah that doesnt contradict a word i said'
Pm: 'you took responsibility, fix it'
Me: '?????? THATS WHAT IM SAYING YOU FUCKFACE COCKSUCKER ASSHOLE THAT I DIDNT AND I WONT, FUCK A HORSE'4 -
Email subject: Urgent need for developers!
Email body: We found you in our database, and think you're a match for this position! Requires 5+ years of C++ experience
Apparently C# == C++. Good luck finding an appropriate candidate, buddy. I was tempted to send them an email pointing out their error, but I'm not too good with "pointers"4 -
I worked for over 13 hours yesterday on super-urgent projects. I got so much done it's insane.
Projects:
1) the printer auto-configuration script.
2) changing Stripe from test mode to live mode in production
3) website responsiveness
I finished two within five minutes and pushed to both QA and Production. actually urgent, actually necessary. Easy change.
The printer auto-configure script was honestly fun to write, if very involved. However, the APIs I needed to call to fetch data, create a printer client, etc... none of them were tested, and they were _all_ broken in at least two ways. The CTO (api guy in my previous rant) was slow at fixing them, so getting the APIs working took literally four hours. One of them (test print) still doesn't work.
Responsiveness... this was my first time making a website responsive. Ever. Also, one of the pages I needed to style was very complicated (nested fixed-aspect-ratio + flexbox); I ended up duplicating the markup and hacking the styling together just to make it work. The code is horrible. But! "Friday's the day! it's going live and we're pushing traffic to it!" So, I invested a lot of time and energy into making it ready and as pretty as I could, and finally got it working. That page alone took me two hours.
The site and the printer script (and obv the Stripe change as well) absolutely needed to be done by this morning. Super important.
well.
1) Auto-configure script. Ostensibly we would have an intern come in and configure the printers. However, we have no printers that need configuring, so she did marketing instead. :/ Also, the docs Epson sent us only work for the T88V printer (we have exactly one, which we happened to set up and connect to). They do not work for the T88VI printers, which is what we ordered. and all we'll ever be ordering. So. :/ I'll need to rewrite a large chunk of my code to make this work. Joy :/
2) Stripe Live mode. Nobody even seemed to notice that we were collecting info in Test mode, or that I fixed it. so. um. :/
3) Responsiveness.
Well. That deadline is actually next Wednesday. The marketing won't even start until then, and I haven't even been given the final changes yet (like come on). Also! I asked for a QA review last night before I'd push it to production. One person glanced at it. Nobody else cared. Nobody else cared enough to look in the morning, either, so it's still on QA. Super-important deadline indeed. :/
Honestly?
I feel like Alice (from Dilbert) after she worked frantically on urgent projects that ended up just being cancelled. (That one where Wally smells that lovely buttery-popcorn scent of unnecessary work.)
I worked 13 hours yesterday.
for nothing.
fucking. hell.7 -
I'M FUCKING SICK OF HOLDING MY SELF TO DON'T MAKE OTHERS LOOK LIKE STUPID, I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ANYMORE ,NEXT YEAR IS MY TIME TO STAND AND LET PEOPLE KNOW WHO I AM. IF YOU FUCKERS CANT ACKNOWLEDGE THAT EVEN THOUGHT THIS COMPANY'S PRODUCT ISN'T SOFTWARE BUT YOU ARE FUCKING WASTING A GOLDEN RESOURCE ( DEV TEAM ) WITH FUCKING USELESS CRUDS AND USELESS SITES NO ONE FUCKING CARES ABOUT I'M GONNA LEAVE.16
-
Worst part of working from home?
Coworkers who just leave a "hi" message when you're away and you have to reach out to them separately to ask them what's going on.
This isn't for casual daily greetings either. I've often ignored these "hello" messages only to find out that the sender had something urgent for me.
If you want to say something, why not leave it in the message itself? What's my immediate availability got to do with anything?22 -
"There is a problem with A, could you check it out? It's urgent for the client"
Me: Okay, just open a ticket for it too.
*Working on A"
After about ten minutes:
"Hey, there is a small problem B and it's also urgent for the client, we need you to check it out"
Me: I'm working on A and you are yet to open a tick... (Interrupted)
"But it's urgent and it's a small fix, we can fix it and push it to prod, A can wait for a bit"
(Since when is it a "we"?)
Me: *sigh* fine, lets see what's B is all about...
*After going over problems C to Z*
"Why isn't A ready yet? The client's mad and it was to be ready as of today"
Me: Because you had problems from B to Z and they were all urgent according to you so after each request you asked of me I had to postpone A with you knowing about it.
"But A is for today!"
FUCK YOU, YOU WORTHLESS WASTE OF JIZZ! YOU RAN TO ME FOR EVERY GOD DAMN URGENT PROBLEM YOU HAD FROM OUR SHIT OF A CLIENT AND INSTEAD OF TELLING ME THE PRIORITY YOU JUST THROWN IT ALL IN A RANDOM ORDER!
FUCK YOU! I WISH YOUR FATHER WOULD'VE SHOT YOU OUT THE WINDOW INSTEAD OF INSIDE YOUR MOTHERS CUNT!5 -
Worst meeting:
Boss: *calls everyone* URGENT MEETING. If you're on your lunch break, then stop and join the video call. Is it a weird time in your timezone? Wake up. But COME
Omg what happened? Is the server down? Are we getting a huge client? What is so urgent that it needs all of our attention right now?
Boss: I'm afraid that I won't be able to stay long in this meeting.
... then WHY the f did you call this meeting?
Boss: that's why we'll have a meeting next at *such hour*. In the meantime, talk to your respective departments about what you've been doing and what you need from each other. See you!
No comment6 -
Business: we need feature x in two
Days, highly urgent!
Me: fine, here’s a shitty implementation we can live with until you decide how to Actually make this work in the future.
2 days pass...
Me: where’s the content for feature x?
Business: awaiting approval
5 more days pass...
Me: I’m guessing this super urgent request wasn’t needed after all?
Business: it’s still awaiting approval
Me: so... I’ll just go and remove this feature, and revisit when its actually needed.
Business: no, it’s needed now, we are just waiting on approval
Me: 🤷♂️
Duck my life sometimes.
I could have built a full fledged system of this shitty hack job instead in the time taken to approve a useless piece of content.6 -
A colleague of mine from the administration department suddenly enters my room where my team and me are all busy and, without considering I'm talking with someone else, interrupts us.
he: "I needed to call you but your phone is in do-not-disturb mode"
me: "that's because I'm busy working on something urgent and I don't want to be disturbed"
he: "but I need your help!"
me: "we're working on a urgent thing, but, anyway, what's the problem"
he: "I need help with digital invoicing"
me: "I deal with programming, I don't think I can help..."
he (interrupting): "I created a digital invoice but I need to send a printable version to a customer"
me: "digital invoices should be XML files so you can't simply take the file's content and paste into Word and print..."
he: "in fact that's what I did and the result was horrible"
me: "I was saying just that. I'm sure, anyway, there should be some online tool for producing a well-formatted PDF from a digital invoice"
he doesn't say anything
me: "you can try with a search on Google..."
he: "but I'm not an IT guy, that's not my business"
me: "this has nothing to do with programming, you simply need to find a tool online for doing this"
he (disappointed): "ok, but this is computer stuff, I'll try..."2 -
Client: "Need to have an urgent meeting on some major changes" .
Me:"Travels half way across city"
Client : Explains how the heading of a page should be in blue as it would be more aesthetic.
FML.
How many meetings have you had that would have just sufficed with a simple email ?4 -
Apparently, working from home means "you are available 24/7 right?" at my current workplace. I am grateful that I have a job, but I do not dig getting emails or my guys getting harassed after hours for things that would normally have to wait until the next day.
I also dislike getting woken up by the Head of Department 1 hour to 2 hours before normal time because of something super-duper-zomg urgent that would normally wait. Which is why my phone is now on silence for phone calls and my notifications for emails is out after hours.11 -
Admit it, in some of your projects you must have hardcoded something for an urgent delivery or last minute change :D6
-
Finally found a way to keep track of my ever expanding studies and how to prioritize them as relevant > how interested I'm > how urgent it is (as in it'd be a game changer if I had this skill right now).
It's called a ternary diagram (just in case you wondered)
12 -
I work at a place where security is really high when it comes to server access. Today I was in urgent need to get admin access to a server, this is a real pain. Luckily I found an xml in version control containing the credentials for the web application which happens to be an admin account! Lucky me, saved me at least two weeks of waiting to get admin access!
4 -
Today I got a ticket.
Last comment:”It’s urgent.”
Scrolled down the tickets history. Opened 21st March 2020
I joined them company July 20203 -
I was fixing a bug in Production and at the same time, the same client called me for the other project saying its too urgent.
I was like Oh god what now?
Guess what she wanted to change the color of Navbar.5 -
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Switches to working on it.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Switches team member to it.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Gets dev team to help with it.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Asks CEO to help on ticket.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Cries.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Prays to Mecca.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* ...
I then find out two more urgent support tickets are about to come in.
And then another one.
Help.
4 -
I brushed my teeth and went to bed at 10, opened up youtube and just chilled out,
boss calls me up at 11 I'm like, nah fam tomorrow...
Calls again and again and again, calling for the 6 time on 2 numbers!?
(M8 can't u see I'm out)
Then he texts me, bro, it's urgent!
I decide to call him up.
Boss: hey dude
Me: hey (trying to not get triggered)
Me: so what's so urgent?
Boss: OK so 2 things, I will email all of our job applicants on August 28, 2: are you available tomorrow?
Me: ( LITERALLY GOT TRIGGERED AS FUCK, THOUGHT WE HAD A DICK PICTURE ON OUR SITE OR HOSTINGER DECIDED TO BILL 2 TIMES)
ME: 👏Dude, this is so urgent? R u kidding me???? Am I available tomorrow and you will email are job applicants on August 28????
Ffs I swear6 -
Why is every fucking job posting an “urgent opening”. HR retards in my country just throw “urgent” on the description almost out of habit because in their microscopic brains they believe it improves their chances of getting motivated candidates or some shit like that.
All it fucking does is prove to me that you are incompetent at scheduling recruitment.5 -
Embarrassing moment:
Needed to deliver apk urgent urgently for push notification testing. I was unable to receive push token. Code is right in every way. Couldn't figured out in 15min. Lead comes to my seat and asks what's issue. And hey suddenly I figured it out. It was my wifi closed.. Bullshit 😬😠4 -
Fix a million things, including a project that is suddenly urgent, feels tired but satisfied, ready to go home...then it turns out there's still 4 hours of the day left...
-
So, you are in middle of something urgent and top priority? In the meeting just displaying the business plan for 1000 people? Fixing a bug that needs the release in 30min or otherwise small babies will start to burn?
Update. Why not? It's like driving down the motorway, someone stops you and tells you that they're going to remove your steering wheel now. For no reason.
9 -
Okay, so I'm in rage mode right now :/
Last week a client of mine absolutely insisted on removing the "irritating delete popups" as they phrased it, against my advice.
In short, when deleting a record, I had a sexy "swal" confirmation appear (see https://limonte.github.io/sweetaler...) with some key data from the record, that prompted the user to confirm the action.
The client has now emailed me with the subject "URGENT, please read ASAP!!!". The email says his staff has deleted lots of records incorrectly.
*** face palm ***.
This is EXACTLY why we include delete confirmation prompts.
As I've used Laravel with soft deletes (luckily for my client) it shouldn't be a huge issue to reverse around 400 deleted records. However, I'm charging my client for half a days work out of principal.
Perfect example of my client not listening to me :(
5 -
Sales: "There is a problem in complicated feature A, in a client system!
Dev: "What is the problem"
Sales: "I don't know exactly"
Dev: "which client system? What version is installed?"
Sales: crickets.
Dev: "Do you a Jira ticket, or an email with more details?"
Sales: "It is urgent that we fix the problem ASAP!"
Dev: "what problem"
Sales: "The problem! I talked to the VP RnD, So he can make sure you are on it!"
Dev: "What exactly do you me to fix"
Sales: "The Problem!"8 -
Boss: I have a demo NOW, but there os an error message on that page.
Me: okay, give me sometime to elaborate the problem..
Boss: No No please, this is urgent
Me: Okay..
My code:
5 -
I HATE SVN! >:v v:< >:v v:< :@
I used to use git for my personal code repositories and for my work. In the office I moved on, they use Subversion. I’ve been using it for months, but it’s a pain in the ass :/
We use TortoiseSVN to pull code repositories, and the AnhkSVN for Visual Studio Plugin. It works fine until two or more of us have to work at the same code project at the same time.
Last week we had a very VERY urgent code to release. We had 4 days to finish it (from thursday to sunday, tests included). We had few changes to do, but the problem was that, when one dev commited something, my changes disappeared, and viceversa. The worst part was that my partners and I had to re-work a lot of bugs that we had already fixed! >:v
This is not the first time this happens :/
The worst thing is that we cannot change our repository system because we don’t have time :(
Is there any advice you, SVN users, can give us?
9 -
BOSS/SUPPORT/CLIENT: IT’S URGENT!!!! IT’S URGENT!!!!
Me: if it was really urgent why are you asking me about it at 5’oclock on FRIDAY2 -
I recently left a company where we had 2 hour long standups. I was so tired of them because half the time was deprioritizing what we prioritized yesterday. Everyday there was something more urgent coming up. It was a startup with 6 engineers. Sometimes the conversations were just random stuff that could easily take 45 minutes.
Now it feels so nice doing 15 minutes standups and then having the time to do the actual work.8 -
So the CEO called me down about a super urgent bug that needs to be fixed or we will loose several hundred thousand pounds of business.
I rush down to his office and there he has a graph "look the values are barely moving i would expect the values to be more erratic this time of day"
*i look at the graph*
"Errrr your looking at 02:00 in the morning, it's 14:00"
Boss: ahh good spot *looks at 14:00* yea that looks good, great job.5 -
Happens every day:
"could you please fix those bugs ASAP? Testers are waiting for it"
*resolve the issue and inform the requester*
(two weeks later)
"Thanks, I'll inform the testers they can begin their tests"
Ugh, how ASAP makes everything seem so urgent and important
-
!dev
In the US, when a technician or something says "yeah anywhere from 8am to 7pm" they will show up around 6pm.
In Germany, however, if they say "8am to 7pm" they're at your door at 7am, knocking loudly and unapologetically.
Yes, please, checking my heaters is so urgent, please do it right now. There's not a moment to lose. Don't worry, it's not like we were still asleep.
>_>14 -
Focusing. I'm part of two teams that use slack, office 365, email, jira, and Trello to communicate simultaneously. I'm expected to respond to urgent messages--so I'm in productivity-killing notification hell and it's really taking a toll. :(6
-
Has anyone been in a situation where a sr dev, with 12 yrs of experience and paid more than you, can't fix something after trying for a week and now the boss comes to you and expects you (a lowly paid dev with only 5) to fix it in a day, now that it's super urgent?
That describes my day... FML... I have to do overtime tonight...
Feels nice to have some place to rant now though....10 -
People are incredibly rude and ill mannered.
New company stories.
Whenever I am in office and having a conversation with a person, someone randomly appears (like those annoying pop-ups on websites) and interrupts the conversation and starts with their own.
I don't understand why people don't wait for the conversation to be over, or ask for permission (in case it is urgent).
Such behaviour derails the entire thought process and breaks the rhythm.
It's just beyond me. How difficult it can be!!!17 -
Client tests app 100000 times, app works fine
Client tests app once, app doesn't work
Client sends email to everyone,
"Hey, @CodesNotHot, this app is not working at all! Can you please look at it right now!! This is URGENT!"
I test the app, it's working fine.
I just want to high five someone with a machete on the face right now.2 -
I come from a front facing retail background. And I start my first developer job on Monday. It is also fully remote. They said I can take mental breaks whenever And unlimited pto as long as I use it wisely and don’t abuse the hell out of it. It’s a small company of like 75 people. They don’t want us working past business hours unless it’s urgent and something breaks.
Im like “uh what? You’re not going to yell at me for taking a 5 minute break after a homeless meth head screams at me and waives a wooden sword at me trying to hit me?”
It just feel like this is a grown up job. Like a professional job. I feel like I have work ptsd from being mistreated in the work place for 8 years. It doesn’t feel real. Does anyone else feel like this?9 -
I really enjoy hearing:
- This is number one priority
- It is urgent
- the highest priority
Just because someone somewhere didn't do his planning it doesn't mean that his lack of judgement should affect me one bit. You made your bed my friend, now sleep on it.1 -
This run up to Christmas is the shit. Everything is suddenly urgent. No time to do a proper job. If that isn't bad enough, you are also tasked with thinking up some ideas for family Christmas presents, as if i give a flying fuck. I dont mind the break for the holidays but i fucking hate Christmas but have to put a brave face on and celebrate (what exactly am i celebrating). And no scrooge comments please.7
-
(developer thing)
I am trying to build code from the last 4 or 4:30 hours at office and she message me
She : it's urgent.. call me
Me : me();
(THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID 🙄)4 -
Fucked!
I have got my cyber security exam tomorrow morning and i just got a call from a client to make some urgent changes to his site.
To add to it, i already wasted around half an hour becoz GoDaddy Plex somehow decided to block my own IP in the firewall.
And now I am on devRant.
Crap. I am fucked!4 -
Helped out a junior today with a minor JS issue he had. Told him, "cool so that should fix it on this page but it may break things elsewhere. Make sure you check it otherwise the client will go into meltdown. "
30mins after they go home. Client emails (All Caps) "WEBSITE BROKEN, URGENT HELP REQUIRED"
😡 you didn't bloody check it did you!
Ffffffffuuuuuuuu3 -
Please check xy ASAP IT'S URGENT!!
I'm already checking before client even finished writing.
Forcefully disconnected from server by client.
Ok, not THAT important I guess.. :/8 -
Having me delete something is not fucking urgent and is not a fucking reason to blow up my fucking phone after I'm off. Holy fucking shit.1
-
* Yesterday:*
PM: Yes, so, could you please do those changes on this page tomorrow by 3 pm and push to prod?
Me: Yeah sure! Noted :) (task is to "untick" a checkbox in a page's settings on our CMS)
* the next day -- 11 am *
PM: erm yes so please can you do the changes I told you about, it's getting urgent and you didn't start it already and it stresses the hell out of me because today is friday and it needs to be up and running fine for Monday 12pm and you don't work on weekend so I'd like yo-
Me:
2 -
I'm a junior dev working with some very proprietary applications. The point is, I can't Google for code solutions at all.
The seniors are all very put upon and too busy to offer much actual help unless it's urgent.
I beg for assistance until I'm blue in the face and eventually stumble my way to something resembling the solution.
I get one of them to review my code, and while they do I point out all the places I STILL need help.
They don't answer any of those questions but damned if they don't have opinions on how my comments should be formatted.
Aaauuuuggghhhh5 -
Medium priority
High priority
Urgent priority
Immediate priority
Maximum priority
Absolute priority
Did I get the ordering right? This is hard10 -
I had a delivery deadline on the same day when an urgent support request came in. My boss was a stupid sucker who was afraid of taking responsibility, and that's a vice I absolutely hate with bosses.
We had quite a heated argument where he just wanted me to give priority to both things, which I declined because I had no idea how much time the support research would take me.
Finally, he decided that I should work on the support item immediately, but only for up to one hour. He was totally surprised when I accepted that without further argument. I told him that all I had wanted from him had been a priority decision, and that was one.
Felt like explaining to my boss what his fucking job was.4 -
Everything's urgent until every thing is urgent ... Or in my company's case, everything is "super dupa mega deathly critical urgent" in an attempt to out-urgent the other requests 🤦🏼♂️
Quote taken from an actual email this week and made me chuckle 😂
These are usually the same people that will send a teams message or direct email rather than using the established ticket system so hey, double rant :v12 -
Once again:
BOSS and Client IT’S URGENT IT’S CRITICAL
ME: IT’S 4:30pm on FRIDAY AND THIS IS THE FIRST I’VE HEARD OF IT IT IS NOT THAT HOT2 -
Client has an "urgent" release that needs to be launched immediately... So they keep changing the spec every few minutes with new changes, but are upset that the product isn't launched yet. Lol. Got to love clients.1
-
Someone needs to take 5 minutes of their time to explain to testers what the actual fuck a "cache" is, the next time I'm receive these "urgent calls" fixable by pressing F5 I'm joining ISIS.13
-
"Yeah, I got your e-mail, I see the subject. Oh no, dude, it says urgent so it went straight to the URGENT queue. Yeah? Ah. Sure, I'll get to it as soon as I get through the ASAP, NOW and YESTERDAY queues. Well, if you wanted me to read it right away you should've say there's NO HURRY - I read only one no-hurry e-mail a day but there's currently 0 tasks on that queue."
-
Been told to fix a bunch of links as a urgent issue. So far i've spent 3 hours trying to find anyone who knows where the damned things should actually be i pointing.
The joy of Mondays.4 -
Meetings, responding to emails, handling urgent tickets, etc. If I could just get four uninterrupted hours of coding in a day, I'd be happy. But I'm basically in meetings all morning and usually have at least 1 more in the middle of the afternoon.2
-
I was about sign-out and collegue comes running that something is urgent and can't wait till next day.
I said fuck off to his face and told him to go and resume his tik-tok video. I signed out and left office. Next day he reported me to HR. Disciplinary action will taken against me starting next week.
Awesome 😎4 -
Protip:
If I send you an email and it isn't urgent ... you don't have to reply and tell me:
"I'm on my way into the office, I'll respond when I get into the office."
All you did was waste time for both of us and your archive on send feature probably means you're going to forget that you got that email.
It's not helpful.... stop that...5 -
Once we got an urgent requirement to add double hashing the password in a web application. It had to go to the production ASAP. The developer which was working on it, added 2 alerts in Javascript to display entered password and encrypted password. Finally change was ready to deploy but in hurry she forgot to remove the alerts. In rush and excitement, that change was shipped to the production. The alert says 'your password is 123', 'your password is xyz'.
After some time got phone calls from users and manager. Manager said, 'how the hell our application got HACKED? If anything happens to..........'. To cut it short, he was furious. We knew exact reason and solution. Didn't take couple of minutes to resolve this issue.
But it was funny mistake and that released that days pressure off.2 -
I have a customer who seriously calls me, very upset, very bossy, telling me to let go of whatever I'm doing and take a look at this super urgent master bug that we probably are responsible for.
Nowadays I just giggle for myself and telling him I will take a look at it.
90% of the time it's caused by themselves or someone else... -
Don't you just love it when a customer reports a bug in their live system and it's really urgent to correct it; then you go out of your way to fix it ASAP and deploy it to the staging system for them to verify. Three weeks later the customer has still not tested the bugfix...1
-
So last week I ranted about the hours I was working, great start this week I'm up at 03:00 to go up north, not going to get back till 20:00 ish. Tomorrow I have to be in Wales for 09:00 so going to have to be up at 04:00 for a 5 hour travel time. Check my emails and my boss says after I get back from Wales tomorrow can we have a design and specification meeting about a "super urgent" product that we have to develop. Oh and Thursday I have to prep everything for going live with a new product Friday.8
-
At a networking event. Tired. Not a people person, especially when tired.
Found a secluded empty booth, pretending to do some urgent work. Hoping no-one notices I'm not socialising.
How long can I keep this up is the question! :D7 -
On the nth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
1 misconfigured autoscaling group
200 unnecessary servers
29 urgent emails
3 support teams that would have fixed the problem in an hour of anybody had bothered going to them first
Ugh. Idiots. Somehow the whole issue was caused by a single full hard disk, which caused database transactions to fail, which caused the group to scale out and spin up new instances, which didn't actually fix the problem so it kept scaling until it hit the limit and then continuously failed to create new instances for several hours straight, generating loads of notification emails and generally causing problems for everyone involved. -
I was tricky this time and sent a separate email for the client and my boss about the new release.
Client response: "Its very good, runs flawlessly, could you check x if you have the time? It gives errors simetimes"
Boss response: "[...] urgent fix get working on it right now [...]"
Seems like my boss has been the fucking piece of shit all this time :)1 -
I'm pretty sure my clients would fail the marshmallow test 9/10 times if not 10/10 times. We have a certain time period of the day set aside for me to look into new reported bugs but besides that I'm supposed to work on regular tasks. Of course, they ask me five hours after that time period is done, whether I can look into a new (non-urgent) bug. At the cost of the new thing they want to launch in 2 weeks. 🤔 I would love it if we actually had time to fix every single bug in the codebase but what typically happens is I get about 15 bug reports (most duplicates) and I'm expected to fix all of them in a span of 2 hours.1
-
Taken a day off due to sickness, boss calls and said “can you fix an error on xyz website? it's urgent.”
I said No, I'm in hospital I can't. Even though I was at home.
He said “please look once whenever you'll reach home.”
Me: “sure.”
Idiot got no chill.
GFY5 -
Linux update! After spending the weekend installing and configuring Ubuntu, I decided I instead wanted ElementaryOS. I then proceeded to install that in an hour and 45 minutes. -_-
Anyway, I'm pleased with the result, and hopefully this will be good enough that I make the switch for real by buying a non-apple computer when I have the money--and urgent enough need--for an upgrade.
7 -
You guys work from home because of coronavirus?
Me on the other hand, have to work on weekend on my desk to finish an urgent project, it’s for the ministry of education (who closed all schools and launched an online courses) to monitor the effectiveness of the new platform and fix some bugs on it.1 -
Oh please it's weekend. Don't call me or message me, especially if it's not urgent 😡 My contract doesn't include selling my soul.3
-
When you get called back into work at 5:30 in the morning for an urgent problem... Come to find out its because, "I forgot my internet access password, can you reset it...?" Are you shitting me? Fucking (L)user! In taking today off, fuck this.
-
Don't understand why people diss Windows all the time. It has become so intelligent now that it can sense when you're onto something urgent and important... and then fuck you right in the ass by initiating updates.
-
Turns out the super urgent issue that I was working on even on weekends is actually over a year old ... great!1
-
Why have the majority of social networks decided that people using their service in the most basic way deserves a notification?
"Ooh, I have 3 notifications according to the app icon, they must be things that need my attention."
<opens app>
* In case you missed DickSlap's [tweet/post/other]
* RomanHelmet liked a [tweet/post/other] from SpaffMuncher
* MuffSnapper added a new photo
Why does that need a notification? That's just users using your app. That's what I expect when I open the app. I expect to see people posting things. This is going to make me start ignoring notifications in the same way I ignore emails marked as urgent.8 -
A newish client just sent a channel ticket marked as "urgent", which set off the alarm for everybody in the chain, with an amazon link to lingerie.
I seriously don't know how to react to this, since I really hope it was a mistake and not how he expects us at the next meeting lol
To send such a ticket you have to confirm your pin and confirm the urgency reason too by the way, so the only thing coming to my mind is, it was some sort of clipboard fail?3 -
I was out sick the day an urgent ETL job I was building would be due, so it got reassigned. When I return, I find most of my code commented out and replaced.
The first step was rewritten, with a comment that reads "Made changes to run faster." What used to be a single execution lasting 30 seconds was now a 4 step process taking 5 minutes, and yielding identical results.
Being a one-time execution (not a recurring job), I'm left wondering why they thought execution speed was even an issue, let alone what about their redesign they felt was an improvement...2 -
Me busy coding, trying to hit the dateline.
PM stretches his arm and starts working after getting bored browsing facebook. *Time to get productive
10 mins later. comes to me with a list of changes. To a project I finished last week, saying it's urgent. Have to be done today. He promise the client to fix these Changes by the end of this week. *wow thanks for pilling me with this now
.... one week later. client emailed and question us. On a few of the (PM self initiated ) changes and want us (me) to revert. -.-3 -
Few days before vacations ...
PM : "Project must absolutly be finished before your 3 weeks vacations."
ME : "We have to clarify the technical solution with the architect and the analyst before I can write the code."
PM : "No. Just do it and make sure you transfer the knowledge, it's urgent for the business."
... 3 weeks later, back from my vacations ...
Total of 0 commit(s) to repo... -
What a difference being in the right frame of mind makes.
On Monday I had an interview for a role that I was really keen on, I'd completed a codility test before which I had killed, everything seemed in place. Then I didn't sleep well, had an urgent fire fighting call with my current employer 15 minutes before the interview, I just couldn't focus, I stumbled on some very basic questions, the whole process was torturous.
Today I had an interview for a different, but equally attractive, role. What a difference, I was focused, my answers were clear and thought out, the technical questions were fine, I killed it I think. Pma definitely makes a big difference.1 -
Freelancing is modern slavery...
Al this greedy fuckers searching for the cheapest tool for their super urgent project.
Even if you write you consider the payment on the expenditure you fucking snail will still debate on it cause you consider your time more valuable. You consider my life isn't worth your money. You want a service but don't want to pay for it.
This get all for fucking free mentality is what ruins this planet.9 -
Question: is it common to a developer to have lots of tasks to do at the same time, so you don't have sure what you need to do first, specially when you have 2 or more urgent projects?
That is one of the things I most hate on managing.8 -
Lays down to go to sleep.
*beep* new urgent help request.
Hmm, bet it's something silly, better check anyway......
Whole servers down....
How fun 😔1 -
how am i supposed to fix anything if they change the priorities on my tickets every 10 sec, like PM's change them, 2 min later MD over rules them and changes them again, so 5 min later PM's change them again because something urgent came up, but then another client starts ringing my MD so that client is suddenly priority
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG
I give up2 -
Don't you just love it when you're in the middle of an agreed content freeze and a marketing drone demands an immediate content deployment to production because they made a blog post and it's "super urgent" that it goes live right now.
-
Friday afternoon, the week's work is finished, and I'm ahead of schedule.
An email arrives for another project.. "URGENT yaddayadda". The dickheads where it came from have taken weeks to react, and now it's urgent. Yeah, fuck you assholes, ideally with a smoothing iron.
On the upside, I'm not addressed directly, and that project isn't my task. But boss could make it mine in no time, and I think he would.
I don't even open the email, nobody has seen it anyway yet, AND I GO HOME! :-)3 -
If you ask me to run your reports, saying that it's urgent, then leave for a week's vacation, I will throttle your bandwidth to that of a 1200 baud modem for the next 3 months.
-
Me to QA: I need an urgent signature.
QA: That costs a cake.
Me: If we baked cake at our company, that would have too much sugar, and we would use more salt as workaround.4 -
Came to work this morning with a bunch of cards coloured red, marked "urgent"...
And it's Monday... the day after Sunday...
The blues day...
Blue's my favourite colour, but this blue (and reds) I do not like...
Ok snoozy mind of mine... wake up!!1 -
Best moment when u receive payment for the work and the amount is more than expected..
U start wondering:
1. Is it bymistake
2. Is he appreciating ur efforts
3. Is it because the payment was delayed last time..
Or maybe because he wants to give u much more work which is very urgent!! -
This week's huge fuck you goes to... Drumroll please...
Slack!
You earned this prize for your stupid auto-sleep if there is no interaction for x minutes!
I don't want to install your crap software on my system, so i am forced to alt tab every 15 minutes just to press space and then delete, because God forbids i am being productive on my freaking IDE, second computer, test device and/or meeting!
Also lovely how phone notifications are not sent on mobile unless you are on sleep mode... How could I ever ask for urgent notifications if i take a small break? Oh, right! I should go to sleep mode, so people will think i didn't touch your shitware for 30 mins every fucking time i go to the toilet! :D
Please get your prize whenever possible!12 -
👦🏻 : I Enter office.
🕵🏻 : 8 emails from client with subject line "Urgent Fire! Fix ASAP".
👦🏻 : Opens Application and everything seems normal.
-- Another email 5 mins later --
🕵🏻 : Oops sorry! It was my browser cache.
👦🏻 : 🙄3 -
note: it is already dec. 23 in here
testers and another integration team are working for an urgent deliverable.
they just called, asking if i can come to the office and complete my code so they can use it as a basis/reference to theirs.
wtf1 -
I spent a month trying to understand how to split our application and setup a pdf server to manage 10'000> pdf documents generation at the same time.
Today during our monthly meeting, our dear Key Account Manager, said he's not selling pdf generation to customers since one year at least, and he's not planning to sell it in the future.
Nobody knew about that apparently. We had also some demo guys showing actually the functionality to potential customers.
Also nobody believe me when I say we should start a project to monitor used functionalities in our application.
Just wasted one month of my fucking extra-time. Now I'm late with a lot of other tasks, apparently more urgent that the potential scalability issue of a functionality we don't use.
Key Account Manager rules.
Key Asshole Manager.
I think we should hire a Key fucking-COMMUNICATION Manager -
Request I saw today...
* A new, empty AWS Account
* The ability to run 120 high memory EC2 instances, including up to 80 instances of dl1.24xlarge, but don't worry, 40 of them will be spot instances. I'll probably just start with two m5.xlarge for simplicity.
* VPC Peering into our primary AWS network
* VPC Peering into a 3rd party's network (because we're paying them for this service)
* A couple cross-acount IAM roles
* Granting "AWS: AdministratorAccess" to said IAM roles
I'm a bit behind schedule, and this is urgent. When will you have this completed?2 -
The joys of working remotely: you're on the toilet, happily dumping, with your phone in your hand. Suddenly you receive a message from your manager who wants to chat about something urgent.
How do I explain the reason why he has to wait a couple of minutes?6 -
People that topic emails with ULTRA URGENT
Isn't there a lovely mail flag for this 🤷♂️ gimme a break7 -
It's been broken in production for two weeks, and you want to tell me it's "drop everything urgent" now? Is it important? Yes. Is it urgent? No.
Also, how the fuck did you not know this was broken for two weeks, and what the hell do you want me to do about it now? It's your codebase, it passed all the tests in staging AFTER I made my changes to the infrastructure.1 -
Client : i need to filter login by ip adresse
Me: ok its done put ip in CIDR block in admin panel and voila
Client: URGENT URGENT email ... Noting work on your shit ..=_=
Me (head) : what a fucking jerk i dont know how work CIDR IP block ...ans i demands it ...2 -
I work in a large organization that previously didn't have it's own development team. Therefore various business areas have built their own solutions to solve problems which mostly involve Access and Excel.
Many of these applications still exist and we are expected to resolve any issues with them and update them when necessary performing this support role while still expected to meet our (very tight) development timelines.
I can't tell you how much of a pain in the tits it is to be trying to power through a priority development only to be interrupted with an urgent instruction to fix a 17 year old Access database that's running slow.
Of course it's pissing running slow, it's 17 years old, has nearly a million records and you have multiple users accessing it across the country!! I think it's time to peacefully let it die.6 -
Need urgent change for the site, it takes 5 minutes I guess, no more than an hour anyway.
Can you do it during your break? Thank you2 -
Urgent: I got a coding camp JavaScript Instructor job very well paid expects answer tomorrow. I got another company wants me but they don't have offer as they must get permission from the CEO for a developer job. The developer job would pay less than instructor job
I don't know what the fuck to do. I would like the dev job for experience but I haven't worked for 3 fucking months.10 -
Urgent!
When down voting needs to be add a non dev related and add to the setting a option to hide all rants voted non dev related.
Basacly like repost but it says non dev related5 -
Producer meets designer.
Monday, 10am email "new task added: implement this new feature. Priority: can wait forever"
Tuesday, 4pm email "change on task: implement this new feature. Priority: urgent, it's a must on wednesday's build"
2 -
[Working on some really "urgent" report for an about to publish project]
dev: client, can you explain what this value is? we can't figure it out and we though tha...
client: im gonna stop you right there, DO NOT Analyse! we dont have time for silly questions, if the design says there's a 10, just put that freaking 10 in that place...
dev: but sr, we need to...
Client: what did i say? just stop saying things and build it!2 -
Don't freaking urgent request me! Your ass better be literally on fire, otherwise you are wasting my time!2
-
"This is now urgent we are in risk of breach of contract."
*travels an hour just to discuss*
"Oh don't worry, don't panick about it, so and so is probably sorting it. We most likely don't need it."1 -
I've just received an urgent bug report email saying something like:
Stop sending [item] to destination. This should have been taken care of in the initial work, but we forgot to say so.
... The work they requested was that [item] gets sent to destination if the user checks a checkbox. If I wasn't supposed to build this, then what did they want me to build in the first place?!1 -
Let
y="coffee beans"
Then (for devs)
y'="coffee powder"
y''="cup of coffee"
y'''="code"
"bug in production which requires urgent fix"=y''''1 -
Worst tech ever? I will say, but don't throw rocks before I explain. Xcode. Why? Try to use it on MacBook 2008. And after that, compare it to Android Studio on same machine. But at least, I can just say "Compiling" to PM and play games on phone. And even "I don't give a fuck about how urgent it is. IPA build takes 15 minutes."
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When it is a Sunday and you reply to an email with tone of urgency and you are torn if you reply to the other emails which doesn't seem urgent but still has the same client list reading. To email or not to email.2
-
marquetting department: i need a new for on the website its urgent drop everithing else
dev: sure can you give me the text and the fields that should be on the form?
....1 week later
dev: do you havr the info
marketing: can you have ot online today
dev: yes just get me that content
1week later
.... you know where im going with this -
"Most ignorant ask from a PM or client?"
I'm going to just say generally any ask with "a lack of effort".
1. Stuff like urgent / angry emails about stuff that already exists... like man if you're going to be a jerk in the email at least look first ...
2. Requests that aren't thought through. "I need X to happen." , "So you want X to happen?", "Oh gawd no, only when Y and Z and ... some other vague stuff!"
3. Requests with incomplete sentences... hard to do a thing without a verb or noun or both.3 -
I had a week off. During that time nothing new was pushed to remote by my boss.
On the last day, before I started working again, literally Sunday night, a pile of garbage non-urgent changes were pushed directly to remote.
I guess it wasn't possible to wait another day for a review. I didn't really care much at that point, but it was just another confirmation, that quitting is the right thing to do.1 -
How to take breaks?? Whenever I have something urgent to do, once I'm finished I can't get back to work quickly. I need a lot of time before diving into work again.
This way I can't keep myself productive.4 -
Having to join an emergency meeting to discuss progress of an urgent resolution the very attendance of which just delays the fix. Then repeating the meeting every 30 minutes.1
-
I went into interview last Friday and felt great. The recruiter said they needed people urgent, so I'll be hearing from him soon. On Monday he called me saying they liked me and would like me to join the team, so he will prepare a proposal for me.
It's been three days and I haven't received any information or contact with him about the proposal.
How much did it usually takes to create a contract proposal? -
!rant
I'm in big dilemma for a few days. About what to do to my HP stream. It was bought from overseas so it has licensed windows 10. It only has got 32GB for storage. And I only have like 1GB 2GB free space. I am using it for presentation, urgent quick code debug, watching movies and browsing internet.
So the dilemma is should I abandon the license windows 10 and install a lightweight Linux distro or not? 🤔36 -
I have a junior friend living in same building where I used to live. I used to help him in small doubts related to college and in some random stuff.
I once typed an application in a language which does not have its fonts in ms word by default. I used Google typing tools and Google docs to type and format it. I even taught him the process which is easy to understand.
Out of blue, after few years, this SOB pings me today and asks same thing to do again since it's urgent. I told him that I am middle of something and told him to use same tools as I used and give it a try. This fucker says he forgot how to do it. Well no problems, I told him how to do it and I will not be able to do it for him right now.
He said then try doing it after coming back to home.
Mind you that he is an engineering student.
You asshole, if it is so much urgent then use your brain and figure out this small thing yourself. If you can wait till I come back home then in which fucking way it's urgent? Go fuck yourself. I am done with your shitty attitude and on next offense you are going on my block list.4 -
First job and first days, boss comes to me with an urgent matter she nor other people were able to solve per her own words, it was something I hadn't even used before, a bug on a migration from versions between SSDTS projects, so she asks if I knew the technology, I answer no, but I'll try, so I started watching some tutorials and got hands on the project to know what it tried to accomplish, then in a couple of hours I found the bug in a connector it had with some other tech through a driver. Team went semi crazy like woah how you found that so quick, Bla blah... It felt good
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Our project manager is a past-retirement-age consultant who prefers to communicate the old-fashioned way, which is to physically pop in to my office asking questions about stuff that isn't even urgent and could easily be dealt with in jira or by e-mail FFS. Way to go disrupting a dev, break my flow and deprive me of my joy of working! He even says it himself: "May I disturb?" My answer is "No, but now that you already did, spit it out!" He's a nice and funny guy, I give him that. But I don't like this particular behaviour of his. I've complained to him directly and also to my boss, but to no avail. This is where devRant comes in, to let the steam out. Anyway, if I have it my way, we will definitely *not* be hiring the same consultant for our next project.2
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Today was a holiday and I wanted to make a mini project for practice purpose, the generic idea was to submit form details and view the details in another file and get the said details on e-mail too.
The main purpose of this exercise was to strengthen my OOP skill.
Not two minutes and 1 text box later I get a call to reset all passwords of "friend" because it was "urgent" somehow..
Reset passwords for fuck's sake...Now I am having this idea of automating reset password job.. -
Just my opinion, but a software dev job shouldn't be stressful for 9+ months of a year.
I understand sometimes the company wants to launch a product on a deadline, so people have to do extra time at work.
Or an urgent bug fix is needed on the system which requires someone to put in overtime.
But a stressful job for all 12 months of a year is just not worth it, whatever the salary may be.
What do you think?7 -
So last year I sent my PC to get a motherboard replacement, as I couldn't be arsed replacing it or even research what motherboard I should get(was dealing with more urgent personal matters).
Anyway, I get it back and everything works good but not the front USB port.. I always found it weird, but also didn't bother to open the case and double check, so I let it go and assumed, since the motherboard was fried, that the USB wires were faulty.
Time passes by and I decide to open the case for annual cleaning job... Turns out the motherfucker didn't connect the port, why?? Fucks knows why... Obviously the wires were "short" and he didn't even try to pull it out further!!! You little piece of shit,for a full year I've been living with a missing usb port, the fucking front facing mother fucking usb port. Fuck.
Moral of story? Don't be a lazy ass and fix your shit on your own!4 -
How often have you seen a manager working as an individual contributor when things are urgent and the assigned engineer is sick!!!
Such type of managers are the rarest species that can be found on Earth.
I hope everyone gets such managers and then, all Devs gonna have a great time working in tons of interesting and feasible projects. -
If you come to your direct report and say “I have a problem”, their immediate reaction should be “what can I personally do to help you”. If it's not, here are some reasons why:
1. You failed to motivate them.
2. You failed to make them feel understood/relevant.
3. You made them feel like they don’t matter, failed to collect/address their feedback.
4. You punished their initiative by assigning too many tasks or otherwise.
5. You made their job more stressful than it needed to be.
6. The work process structured by you was throwing away 80% of their code as you continuously failed to communicate with the client properly.
7. You made tasks “urgent” or “urgent!!!!!”, made them work overtime to do them ASAP, and then forgot about it for two whole months, so now they feel like urgent things aren’t that urgent after all.
I’m a CTO, and I tell you that their bad performance is always your fault. Always. At the very least, you didn’t make them feel safe and comfortable enough to resign.1 -
If it's urgent then you can take the time to write a message describing your problem instead of waiting until we're both free1
-
Have 1 urgent, 2 very urgent and 1 super very urgent task at the same time, and 3 man arguing in the back of my chair which one should I do first.
Me: waiting and working the some little cosmetic for the next sprint1 -
Exciting email, maybe I should change my name to Person.Person.PersonName
"Hi <Person.Person.PersonName, hope you are well!
I have an urgent new .NET contract I wanted to run by you!"1 -
You know what really boils my piss?
Clients who email in all caps.
"URGENT HELP, CAN'T RECEIVE EMAILS"
Followed by two lines of bitching about how this keeps happening and they'll move elsewhere if it's not fixed asap at 11pm.
WELL GUESS WHAT?
YOU MOVED YOUR EMAILS AWAY ALREADY! -
After completing urgent projects that rewrite a lot of "overtime" or even personal projects that rewrite like a few weeks to complete.
Old web dev days pre-BS... All the CSS needed to and the cross browser compat. The divs don't align... Can't get elements to center... Or it does, just not in browser X...1 -
Gets told to do something by a certain date which was a pretty big task. I said it's fine I'll do it.
Then a lot of small tasks were pushed in between which were "urgent". Now when it comes to the deadline they want to know why the original task wasn't done in time3 -
Wow I'm first!! Uhm... 8... I forgot to take lunch break cuz I was really busy or the code was really interesting...
If within 24 hrs... Maybe 12... I had to login at night a few times to finish urgent work (bug fixes) -
I get plenty of sleep and wake up to my manager talking about escalating tickets. I'm on support this week and my queue was empty yesterday, but there were several new "urgent" requests that never got assigned to me.
Wait, so I'm responsible to assigning tickets to myself now? Our support is so shitty now. Our good document got hacked to pieces and now I can't find anything, and the customer support people are constantly bitching if things aren't done right now for tickets I was assigned while I was asleep.1 -
Fuck these frequent "URGENT TO REVIEW" pull requests with 10+ files changed by lead each time, amirite or amirite?1
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House got flooded, need to fix an urgent bug, doesn't have enough sleep, toothache, heartache... Does God hate me?6
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Haven't been on devRant much lately because of all the urgent problems my clients are throwing at me...
2 -
As a developer, the longest I've worked in a row was 15 hours, from 8am to 11pm. We had to migrate/onboard a project and after we thought everything is done, the client told us about some extra functionality which was "urgent" and he couldn't tell us the months we prepared the migration -.- But it wasn't that hard and our boss was really nice. He stayed with us, even he couldn't really help us, bought us some Pizza, paid for taxis back home and we could stay home or come late to work the next day. And fortunately, that doesn't occur regularly in my company.3
-
my boss on phone today, after a huge task list received these days:
- it would to build this "find my friends" feature in our existing app to boost downloads and reviews
- but i can't rebuild what Apple did.
- well why not?
- because i'm one guy, they are Apple and the rules don't apply to them
- ok but there are other apps that does this
- but they are not alone
- ok keep trying it must be a way
- is it urgent?
- no but it shall be done3 -
Finished && deployed a big release yesterday (like the main component, only changed in 4-5 times over the years).
You know the mental state of "ahh it's done"
I couldn't even savour it and theres needless work given to me just-because. It ain't urgent, it ain't high-priority, and IT'S A FRIDAY TODAY? :v
No wonder the smarter-than-me predecessors left this job. One can't even get a sense of satisfaction after putting that amount of thought and work.1 -
!rant
In the past 2 days I worked a lot, now I slept 12 hours straight. I don't have any tickets left, and the manager told me to have fun. I haven't felt such freedom in a while.
(The project will be late by a year in February, so until now I always had at least 2 urgent tickets related to topics that I've never heard of before.)1 -
Started working in big firm from past 2 months, I was learning about company, its products and what it does. To speed up things I asked one senior who has 8 yrs of exp, she said she also has no clue how things work here......
Now I know why I was hired as an urgent requirement......1 -
Today at work I started doing 1 month old task with production problem.
First of all why now ?
Because I already fixed all the other urgent production problems I had during last month, done about 4 deployments of those super urgent errors.
Now I can start with not trivial one that are pending for quite time.
I am the only backend developer in this project ...
This is a dtp application and the problem is that we are not verifying if we got all fonts embedded in customer provided pdf files.
We are generating high quality images of those pdf for printing just fine from the beginning but now we need valid PDF with all fonts embedded in it. ( don’t ask me why I am only a hammer in this process )
After running simple test using python script against database it turned out we have over 500 broken PDF files without fonts.
So I guess I have just one sentence to say about it.
Fuck you PDF format for not being strict and allowing this shit. -
To me, the single biggest coding distraction is other coding, i.e. When there are more things to work on than there are developers and priority changes on a whim. My runner's up would be people who come to you directly for non-urgent matters disregarding that you're busy. The third would be meetings, but I consider meetings to be a necessary evil. Almost nothing is worse than too little communication and the resulting mismatch in expectations.
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Manager getting snippy with me coz one of the 2 urgent things I'm currently working on hasn't been deployed. This is on top of the outstanding changes to the last 3 urgent projects I worked on that have been deployed in a working but imperfect state, the urgent thing I got distracted by and the urgent thing that's next for me to work on.
Someone got a "this is fine" pic?6 -
So the client ask for a new super urgent request and want to see it completed in 10 minutes.
Not that I can't do it, I just need 2-3 minutes to do it, but because of their rudeness, I left the job for my little cute interns who work at my company.
Takes her more than hours to complete.
Sorry client. LOL1 -
And that, folks, is why you never do a rush job, no matter how urgent, without an RFP and answering estimate followed by a signed statement of work confirming agreement to the estimate. Even with a prearranged, perpetual contracting agreement. And also why you NEVER deliver the end product without payment. No matter how much you trust your client or believe they will do right by you, process still matters.2
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I am using Dell Insipiron 7567.
I have dual booted my rig with Ubuntu 18.04 and Windows 10.
Right from the start itself I couldn't get to the screen of trying or installing with default settings. I had to use 'nomodeset' with 'quiet splash'.
Even after installing I had problems. After some hours of searching I found out that installing Nvidia 390 driver would remove the bug. It did. But my rig heats like shit. And throttles very much. Where as I am not using anything other than
1.chrome
2.vscode
3.terminal
Which i think is very normal?
And looor of battery drain.
I used to get around 3-5 hrs of battery life in Ubuntu Gnome 16.04 but now its like max 2 hrs.
Which is bad I guess.
I switched back to "X.Org X server" driver with "nomodeset" (without nomoseset it will load upto login page. Once i hit enter it gets stuck) it boots up but can't change the level of brighness or can't do anything related to display setting. Temperature has reduced but sacrificing on display settings.
Is there any way to remove this bug?
And additional infos
Graphics in about shows something like "llvmpipe (LMVM 6.0, 256bits)"
Guys do respond please?
17 -
Took my three weeks paid summer vacation, but ended up coding almost two of the three weeks.
The geniuses in charge decided that everyone should be forced to take vacations anyway due to corona and it under no circumstances could be postponed.
Only SLIGHT FUCKING PROBLEM is that our product delivery is in 2 days.
Lets send the lead developer, and most of the seniors away the month leading up to the release, that could in no way go wrong.
Predicting a hilarious explosion of urgent tasks the second i step in the door :D -
Was rushed to write a crappy massmailing for super urgent newsletter, had to be finished in 20 minutes. Last 5 minutes i had to rewrite half of it. Told them its rushed, testet and crappy.
Mailed the stuff anyway. Every Email got the same dynamic string in subject.
Looked at code, was setting the subject 2 lines above the loop.
Sorry guys, dont rush me next time2 -
Today i sent an email to a client about some last details of a project. This happened in the morning.
The day is now over and got no response.
Tomorrow is Friday.
We all know now what is going to happen.1 -
!dev
Tried to put my latest dev frustration in to a rant. By the time I managed to express it in English, it lost its urgent edge, and it no longer seemed big enough deal to post it here.
I'm the same way about emails too. Write it, read it delete it without sending 8 times out of 10. -.-1 -
Dell SupportAssist.
- notifies me of 20 pending updates, 5 of them are urgent
- clicks update all
- page says validating
- left computer on overnight
- page is still stuck at validating
Thank you Dell!2 -
I thought I had lost a password to devrant on my old phone tried to rest my password I don't no which email I used among my army of emails address
Well my thoughts today are on a call worker who has a terrible work attitude.... fuck I hate3 this guy .. probably am tired of this job... is it too hard to ask for a company that has better pay and organised work flows .. here is hell hound projects come left right center everything is urgent the system is broke or roten from the core can never be fixed -
I just can't find it on Google. Does someone know how a charger for this is called or where to find one. It's pretty damn urgent.
10 -
[semi-rant, kinda-story]
Day two: Managed to persuade IntelliJ IDEA into, uh, functioning.
Although it still does funky stuff like trying to force JDK v6 for bytecode compiled from Kotlin (the project's not even legacy spaghetti and JDK v6 isn't even installed).
Still had a few problems while setting up the rest of the local dev environment of the project I'm assigned to (which has been caused by documentation accidentally being followed in the wrong order, which I updated in turn, in order to prevent other people from doing the same mistake), but now I can finally work on tickets!
I love that not all tickets are marked as urgent or important, only a few!
Now the fun begins 😎2 -
just feeling satisfied being able to program. even if it is just a small vba script again. but it accomplishes a feature in urgent need. best point is doing it within paid time.
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I thought: Okay lets update this open source software the day right before my exam. What could go wrong? All previous updates worked without a problem and this is an urgent security fix for RCX.
Of course: It failed. I spend the whole night searching for the error in my config files etc. The error was: A missing null check in start sequence. Had to fix and build it myself as I required the files stored there for the exam.
I learned a lot that day/night about updating only when you have the time to deal with errors... -
Ok, this question is related to mysql and php.,
Let me state the current situation
I have a db, say "gd".
That db has several tables all with same columns.(i.e same fields for different manufacturers such as product name, cost , stock etc.)
Now i want to know how many tables have the product 'a' in them and what's the cost of 'a' in each of those table.(tables are generated dynamically so I'll never now how many tables are there, well ofcourse i can refer information schema, but just wanted to highlight this fact). So is there a way to achieve this?.. excluding "dump the whole data and then search it" solution.
Plz help, .. sorry for my bad English, .9 -
Lately with our client, everything has become very "urgent" and top priority. So much so that I’m asked to drop a top priority issue to tackle a new top priority issue, and then asked to drop that one too to take on another new “even more“ top priority task. In the end they’ll all have to be dealt with but dang I’m losing all sense of continuity, I’m losing my efficiency as my flow keeps on being broken by something new I have to jump to and in the end I’m kinda losing my sanity. Fuck this!1
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Client's WordPress powered site has gone down due to influx of traffic. Site is cached and whatnot, the server it's on is simply underpowered and not coping. Whilst I'm frantically trying to spin up new servers and load balance and get things back online, client keeps interrupting with emails like "URGENT - Website is down", "How long is this going to take please?", and "Hello! Do you know whats going on?!". I reply cordially to each, secretly growing increasingly enraged. "Yes I am already aware and working on it.", "Difficult to estimate, but I'm hoping no more than 20 minutes.", "Yes. I'm working on it.", "Yes, I know. I'm working on it."
And then I receive this gem: "Perhaps call Word press?"
AARRGGHHH
This scene from Clerks springs to mind: https://youtube.com/watch/...2 -
I don't know if I'm projecting but I think my manager never agree with any idea I present to him. I had to bring an urgent implementation to VP for him to accept it. I feel like we, as a the team, stuck with whatever tech stack he chose, whatever he feels comfortable. No improvement, no challenge, no stat, no data; everything we do is just based on his feeling about things. He's not even 30 yet, but I feel like talking to a stubborn 60yo everytime I discuss an idea.2
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It's strange... We had a proper issue related to web dev but no one asked me to take a look...
And well usually for issues no one can figure out, they usually come to me... But it seems feels like they're avoiding me.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ maybe I'll just watch on the sidelines though the issue is if they ever do what up coming to me, the issue is then super urgent since they wasted all the time and users are now pissed as hell....1 -
I loosely set aside Friday evening, Sunday and Monday for a rush job that was supposedly urgent. Monday I was sent the style-guide. It's mandatory to be written with bootstrap. Tuesday 10am, no copy, no images, no idea where the code will go or how it's context's global CSS will cascade over mine. Visual designer says the logo they provided me isn't crisp enough. How many grown adults does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 9?
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I love being a consultant, and I love my job. However, I’ve been working with this client for the past few months and the past few weeks have been so draining. 90% of the people at the client’s side are super nice people, and then there’s this one person that just barks orders at us whenever a tiny thing is broken. Everything is urgent, everything is top priority, and we need to drop whatever we’re doing to fix what they deem urgent. I am currently pretty much the only dev doing both support and feature development at the same time and I am getting mentally very tired.
Whenever something is broken we get shit feedback, but for all our efforts there’s never any positive feedback. Mind you, the project isn’t even publicly accessible yet, it’s in a “alpha” phase where there are only a handful of users testing the program.
How do you guys deal with people like this?3 -
If I get ++ and configure something, will other people see me as a duck or will I only see everyone else as a duck?
These are urgent questions2 -
My start up job got to spark. Problem I face is, completing things as soon as possible, problems are simple but even taking 2 days on something is a big thing. So, I'm just stuck doing lots of urgent tasks and I'm tired every other day because of this.
I don't want to meet people from my workplace as everyone is kind of workaholic and that also makes me not to do anything, I mean yeah, I can't handle stress, it's hell. Rather I want to work for a big company having interesting problems to solve and people who are professional and there to help you. Professionalism is not present here, managers are using bad words for their reportees, and that's a norm. My manager pinged me and literally said that I'm slow. WTH!!!1 -
When you finally prepare some tea and cookies and want to watch Conan, but you receive FIVE different emails requesting and "urgent" fix 😑.2
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A: our WordPress website that use heavily Facebook APIs is not working anymore because of the privacy changes
B (thinking): seems something easy, check the settings and do an invoice of the job for a portal that we didn't done and get a new customer
B: we can do it in blablabla for blablabla
Silence from the A side
1 month later...
A: I didn't found your bank account for the payment but we are ready to do that fix. And we have also a new feature request. -
Hello, i have this problem. Can u read the image and figure out what this corps deal is, and what to do about it. They shut down my account because i use vpn, and they wont turn it back on. I need this service to do my job. My managers are going to be mad.
9 -
NEED AN URGENT HELP HERE!!!
As much as I try to stay away from the satanic language that is javascript, I have to read up on it if I need to pass this semester.
Guide me towards the different types of objects in javascript, anyone?
Here's what I know so far- js treats everything as an object, but what I don't know is that are there categories? [the "everything" referring to the primitive data types]14 -
My head of products idea of an urgent bug is a feature that he really wants in the app.
Guess who’s got 22 ‘bugs’ to fix by Friday 🙁2 -
I cannot access one of production machines from home while behind VPN. I wrote to support that I need to access it right now and stated this is very urgent. They changed priority form high to low... access will be granted withing 2 weeks....1
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Company just gave me a laptop running windows 10 that doesnt get to the login screen because of a bad AVG upgrade - of course its urgent hence they cant give it to the guy whos fucking job it is becuase he will take week.
Firstly just found out you cant access safe mode without a disk if you cant hit the login sceen - Windows your fucking kidding me right?
Now I've been watching a spinning fucking circle for an hour while it's "attempting repairs" without even saying what its trying, oh ya and of course formatting this peice of shit is out of the question.2 -
I hate it when you post about a problem you have on a programming live chat, wait 3 hours and get no response, and then someone else posts a different a problem and instantly gets help. What makes their problem more urgent than mine? And it's not that the people who are supposed to be helping don't know how to work with it, BECAUSE THEY'RE IN THE CHAT FOR JAVASCRIPT.
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Anyone else get the feeling that you're whiling away your weekend when you could be getting stuff done that you found important/likeable? It sucks to realize you get 32 hours of waking time and not one meaningful ("important but not urgent") thing gets done in that time.5
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Client: Excuse me, I know it's your day off, but I need you to fix my website it's urgent!!!
Me thinking: Excuse me while i chop your head off, shit down your neck and feed your remains to the pigs!2 -
I'm a junior, now getting used to the idea of having to finish something in the same day if it's urgent for production and therefore having to clock in extra hours.
It's depressing, in a way.. I'm hoping to avoid this as much as I can and just get work done within the usual 7.5 hours.2 -
Me: Working on trying to salvage our shitty project
PM: EMAILS ARN'T BEING SENT FOR OUR TEST ENVIRONMENTS
Me: Ohkay.. Is it urgent? I fixed it last time.. Seems like the other devs broke it.
PM: YES WE NEED TO PASS ALL OUR TEST CASES ASAP
Me: Well maybe it should be failed if it keeps breaking all the time..
PM: SEND ME AN EMAIL WITH WHAT YOU CHECKED AND OVERNIGHT YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT WITH OUR TERRIBLE OFFSHORE TEAM
Me: uhm... Ok
Also me:
2 -
Isn't it great when you get urgent tasks, but the documentation required for it can't be found or doesn't even exist, and the devs that worked on the project before are no longer in the company? And then the producer gives you some document that is completely unrelated?
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When a non-engineer constantly interrupts your coding work to tell you something that isn't urgent
2 -
So... I'm assigned to do a new development, something related to integrate a Call Center service to our main app.
I have not a single clue on how to begin, at what to look, what doc to read (the service doesn't offer a good one), just trying thing and hope for some luck.
This sound familiar to you also or it's just me?
These moments make me think twice if my knowledge can handle and this scares me!
Also, it's kinda urgent and very important so... no stress!2 -
that time I finished an urgent ticket, without a keyboard, just by clicking on something on a big screen; stress, think too much and sleep little, is a bad combination
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When you make some changes on the server and you warn that there will be annoyances while the changes are being completed, there is always someone who sends you an email with the title in capital letters asking for urgent help because something is wrong.4
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Trying to fix an urgent issue with our Xamarin iOS app and a known bug in Xamarin "IOException: Sharing violation on path /Assets.xcassets/AppIcon.appiconset/Icon-1024.png" is blocking me.
Luckily I still have my old laptop from my last upgrade on standby, boot it up and it's not using the affected version of Xamarin. 😃
Instead this one has the also know "/ios/release/mono/mini/mini-arm64.c:5439, condition `native_offset % 4 == 0' not met" blocking issue when debugging. 🤦♂️
I just want to do some work. ☹3 -
My question is for all participants of today's codevita. Will i get a interview call if i have submitted 2 solutions and public tests are passed, but in pvt test cases i am exceeding TLE and MLE.3
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Management just sent urgent email to ignore all communication with one of the projects. Looks like some companies struggle with the idea of paying the invoice in time. Can't say that I'm unhappy about skipping 9am call, need my sleep
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Sitting in the office, watching my co-developer code on my machine.. hes got some urgent task and his win 10 machine suddenly decided to update itself.. I somehow feel guilty of sitting and not doing any work :(
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yeah sure, having all 5 devs only ever working directly on the production branch and not being allowed to save anything post-release unless it's an urgent bugfix sounds like a great idea
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Any grails dev here? I needed some help urgent but can't seem to get any answers from the internet or even the question I posted on SO. Here's the question:
https://stackoverflow.com/questions... -
What will be the regex to include all words concatenated with special characters but exclude whitespaces12
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I'm looking for advice...
Has anyone experience with the AWS cloud?
I'm arguing with my future company partner about it. He's totally old school but is responsible for the server stuff... He does the backend for a urgently needed webapp and it takes so long (he still works in his old company the next months).
The frontend (my part) is nearly ready. I could work on the backend fulltime, but I would choose AWS Appsync with offline sync etc. First it would be quick and dirty, because it's really urgent.. he wants to do all super perfect...
How can I handle that? I talked to him many times about that, but he always says it should be done right and takes time. but for me, it's to much time. The webapp is relatively small and the work now already takes about 2 or 3 months..1 -
URGENT:
How an online supplier charge their clients with huge amount >40k monthly in an automated way ? ?
Context:
i am building a huge b2b international online service that will require clients to pay between 1000 usd to 400'000 usd per month.
The system is build on top of an e-payment api (stripe) that enable the system to work based on regular fully automated credit card authorization and capture system.
Everything works fine in dev mode. But when we will move to production, the amounts are so huge that they exceed the max limit of any-credit card, even the corporate's ones.
So that makes me wonder, how automated services (aws, gcp etc) charge huge invoices for their clients in an automated way without using credit cards...
Please help11 -
I need urgent answer as quora is being weird like always. Ok here we go. I have a project idea but its really huge in size. Lots of features.
My question is. I recently learned Angular 2 but I know jquery well. Which one should I choose for the frontend? Please give your opinions. I need your expert advice.6
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