Client: We have a HUGE security problem.

Me: *thinks about any possible vulnerabilities* What is it?

Client: A user can take a picture of our website and steal our content.

I’m done for today.

Some guy just called it "Jithub"

Never heard of that before

" If you can put an axe through it, it's hardware; if you want to put an axe through it, it's software. " -- Unknown

Being honest in an interview:

- Can you work under pressure?
- I can, but I'd rather not.

So this fucking happened today.

Me: *sees support ticket coming in about some kind of login issue*

Me: *opens issue*

"Hello, I can't seem to login. There's an error"

Me: *sighs and thinks "at least give me that FUCKING error message then." *kindly replies with asking if they could send me the error message*

"Here it is. I don't understand what is going wrong
and what I have to do"

Me: *looks at error message*

"Invalid customer ID. Please make sure that your ID is correct. You can find it in the activation email we sent you when you registered".

😐 😶 😦

Me: *thinking okay what the fuck, are you fucking retarded or something?*

Me: *kindly replies: "It seems that you are not using the correct customer ID. You might want to look for it in the activation email we sent you!"*

"Oh okay thanks, how did you figure that out?"

Me: 😵 😐 😶 😭 🔫

Seriously what the actual fucking fuck.

CS Teacher: *provides shitty code written in (I kid you FUCKING NOT) Microsoft Word, sans font*

Me: *Submits beautiful, fully working and commented code*

Half a point off because I didnt write how many points the assignment was worth at the very top of the code.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME YOU CUNT GOBBLER?! YOU JUST **HAD** TO TAKE THAT HALF A POINT OFF, DIDNT YOU? MAYBE YOU'RE INTIMIDATED BY THE FACT I DONT USE MICROSOFT WORD TO WRITE C++?? God, I hope you take a nail gun to the eye.

Millennials

So, in my Country there are people actually selling 40 empty folders for about 3 dollars... As a gift they also send an empty .doc file... And people are buying it!!!

So everyone is showing their setup, I thought why not share mine.

Dev1: I started work at a new company.

Dev2: Cool, how is it?

Dev1: Well its ok... but they are a bit weird.

Dev2: How weird.

Dev1: Very weird, they round my pay to 1000 insted of 1024.

Dev2: Yeah weird.

This guy at my last internship. A windows fanboy to the fucking max!

He was saying how he'd never use anything related to Linus Torvalds because he hated him for creating Linux.

Two seconds later I saw him initializing a new git repo.

I was standing there like:

*should I tell him?*

😅😆

They recording what i'm typing ....aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

Customizing my arch linux desktop 🙂

High resolution picture:
https://imgur.com/a/aEeZR

What do you guys think?

> works ass off on a senior project
> 75/100
> classmates buy their projects
> 85+/100

As a guy studying computer science but working part time as an It support i get a lot of weird questions which can be easily answered by Google or solved by restarting the PC . The cake however goes to the guy with the PhD in physics who called me to his office and said something was wrong with his laptop battery because he was not getting any charge. He was almost panicking because he couldn't afford to lose his files when the PC ran out of juice.

Upon inspection the power was not plugged in.

Me: Hey Visual Studio 2017 could you please....
VS: Unknown Error
Me: What about an Update?
VS: Unknown Error

A wise man once said:

Real programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.

😂😁

Somehow, the company I work for has decided it is ok for people to have their dogs in the office.
One of the dogs is such a sissy, cries and make stupid noises - I has been so for many many month.

Yesterday, when we had our asses full of stuff to do. The dog decided that it really have to take a dump inside the office and start barking (more like "veff").

So I turned around, to my other collegue and asked him really loud:

"Should groceries really do that?"

He is asian, he liked the joke. But the owner did not.

Hi sir i have a problem can you please teamview in and help

Me: sure no problem
Login....

Are you there ....
Hello whats the problem

40min later
Sorry i went out for lunch

😤😤😤😤😤

"In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they’re not." - Yogi Berra

This type of websites need to chill 😄

You have a Google Plus account..

..even if you don't know it.

* Save a Microsoft documentation url.
* open it after a while.
* url not found !

Shitty site

My home is under renovation and so my desktop is disassembled and in the box for more than a week now . I feel depressed, aimless and meaningless.

Hate it when I spend more time on documentation than actual coding. I know documentation is for our own good. It still annoys me to death.

Too many tabs are open.
Firefox is now unresponsive.
:/

Have knowledge to build anything but no idea what to build.

It's been going for about 2 hours now... Slowly making progress...
"This will take a while."

My dad uses Microsoft Powerpoint as a graphic design tool. smh.

5 years ago i was working on a 2D game using C and we needed to use the sleep function (I forgot why ) .but however one of my team member did something new , for each second he did an empty for loop from 0 to 1000000 .You never know maybe that's how it's implemented (sarcasm)