How does your rubber duck feel?

........

Tomorrow I'm going to rent an office for a year to code with some collegemates that barely know of coding, they about to learn and they putting some money on table. I'm stressed.

Wish me luck, I'm coding apps with Flutter.

#IranianTechDreams

As an Apple shareholder, seeing people with those white bags and boxes sitting in this store seems reassuring that Apple should remain a cash cow

manager tries to find someone available for a long hard task..

Me:

Now I have to register on oracle website with a my company name and work phone before i can download jre or jdk. That's it boys and girls. You're unemployed? No minecraft for you!

wow good quality

Hey {restaurant}

Please help them :-)

Side projects..
This describes the shit very accurately.

hope not a repost tho

Partner of ours claimed they are going to update their api. No breakage. My hopes were low and they did not disappoint.

Soon after the new version of their api went live, of course, loads of breakage. And the email contact with them is really fun.

Me: "Hello, since your update we get the issue A. Here's the complete communication."

Them: "We did not change the existing behavior. You are doing X wrong. Repeat that one call during the step and you should be fine."

Me: "Thank you, if I repeat the call, it does indeed work, albeit slower, since we are now repeating calls. Furthermore, our application was consuming your api for years and we did not change anything. So why is that step necessary now? Only after your update do our logs show errors from your API. And by the way, we now also have a issue with B. Why is that?"

Them: "Oh that's because your query the endpoint with "Fnord", try "Baz".

Me: "Yes, I do know that we query it with "Fnord" as that is what a previous endpoint of yours is responding to us. Why are we getting "Fnord"? What request do I have to make to get a "Baz" back?"

It feels like a game of wackamole. Squash one issue, ten more will pop up. I am one step away from becoming active-aggressive.

databases designs...

Thinking of getting some T-Shirts made...

Why do I always work on a project intensively for 2 days, don't touch it for a week or two for reason X and then don't dare to touch it anymore.

Damn

Javascript === Polish

I normally don't care for many memes, but I felt this one was too true to me.

Dynamic programming languages be like

First day at Internship. Did absolutely nothing other than filling up a police verification form

Next the 'Then do'
:-)

Life Coach: "I want a website where I can charge $5,000 for 6 weeks of coaching for [weird life problem very few people have or think about].

Me: "That'll be $5,000."

Life Coach: "That's too expensive for a website."

Me (inner voice): "tHaT's ToO eXpEnSiVe FoR a WeBsItE."

Me (real voice): "Consider it not as a cost but as an investment necessary to obtaining your first customer. Once the first customer is realized, you've paid for the website and the future customers will make you profitable.

1. The end result. The moment it works.

2. The possibilities. You can either change the world or amuse yourself. It's your choice.

3. What's not to love about code?

Maybe it's old and well known, but somebody asked, so here it goes:

A shepherd is quietly grazing his sheep on the fresh village pastures.

Suddenly a shiny new car stops by. A cool guy, very well dressed hops out and asks him: "Good man, If I guess exactly how many sheep you have, can I win one?"

The shepherd, puzzled, accepts.

The cool guy, opens his laptop, download a satellite picture of the area, run a NASA algorithm for image recognition and in few seconds answers "you have 1342 sheep"

"Wooow" says the shepherd "you won, take one"

The cool guy is about to live when the shepherd approaches him:

"Ehi, Young man, I bet all my flock against your car that I can guess what is your job"

The cool guy, (he likes to bet after all) accepts.

"You are a consultant" says the shepherd.
"WTF! how did you even..."

"Well, easy" says the shepherd "you came out of nowhere, well dressed and smart looking, you answered a question nobody asked you, you told me something I already knew, you want to be payed for that and in addition, you don't understand shit about my business."

"Now", adds quietly the shepherd "please, give me back my dog"

(for @LOLjustCoding)

You want the truth...?
I just love being part of the dev memes :P
Thats it!

I can't wait for version 2 of this comic.

every single fuckening day

Man, what a way to start the week. Our mailserver went nuts (something about a Shellbot virus, I don't know) and we were forced to migrate to a new one. Clients calling in panic and threatening to sue us and shit. I was the one tasked to fix the problem (I am a developer mind you, my sysadmin knowledge is limited to google searching and contacting support). At the same time, Turkish hackers attacked our other server and forced me to fetch backups and clear spamming scripts. And to top it all, I was forced to answer the phone calls and respond to the threats. Man, I must have been a complete prick in my previous lifetime to deserve this.

Oh the fucking irony

Anyone else ever notice stars in front of the moon at night?

Image source: Luno's article about Libra
https://luno.com/blog/en/...

This morning's git explanation, and I quote:

"lalala... lala... lalala"

Someone got laid I think.

Colleague: Hey mister IHateForALiving, I've seen you made two files for a single form
Me: I did that because these two forms have nothing in common. You can have either one or the other and do totally different things, and I splitted them because they are fairly complex, and you may want to add more of this kind in the future.
Colleague: That's not how you should handle the matter, you should have put everything in a single file and handle everything via if else if else

Yeah Helen lucky you for thinking a single file of thousands of lines handled via switch-case is a good idea, must be great living life with the IQ of a rock, please give me a call if you ever decide to stick your head out of your ass just the tiny bit it takes for some oxigen to reach your brain