I don't think I'm the intended one. I don't have clearance level 100.

I'm in the middle of a meeting 😭

My client is saying that MS excel is so powerful that we don't need spark to process data. 🤦‍♂️

*Interview*

Interviewer: We have an opening. Are you interested to work?

Me: What is that I'll be doing?

I: What technologies and languages do you know?

Me: I know Scala, Java, Spark, Angular, Typescript, blah blah. What is your tech stack?

I: Any experience working on frontend?

Me: Yes. But what do you use for it?

I: Can you work with databases?

Me: I can, on SQL based. What are yours?

I: Can you do big data processing?

Me: I know Spark, if that's what you are asking for. What is it that you actually do?

I: Any experience in cloud development?

Me: Yes. AWS? Azure? GCP?

I: Do you know CI CD?

Me: Excuse me.. I've been asking a lot of questions but you're not paying attention to what I'm asking. Can you please answer the questions I asked.

I: Yes. Go ahead.

Me: What will be my position?

I: A full stack developer.

Me: What technologies do you use in your project?

I: We use all the latest tech.

Me: Like?

I: All latest tech.

Me: You mentioned big data processing?

I: Yes. Processing data from DB and generating reports.

Me: what do you use for that?

I: Java.

Me: Are you planning to rebuild it using Spark or something and deploy in the cloud?

I: No we're not rebuilding it. Just some additions to the existing.

Me: Then what's with cloud? Why did you ask for that?

I: Just to know if you're familiar.

Me: So I'll be working with Java. Okay. What do you use for UI?

I: Flash

Me: 🙄

I sat for a couple of minutes contemplating life.

I: Are you willing to join?

Me: No. Not at all. Thankyou for the offer.

Joined a new project and started messing with the application...Greeted with a blank web page and a pop-up **please enable flash**

Team Lead: What shall we use for our next project, Angular or Vue?

***People started voting***

Someone from behind: How about ExtJS.

Teacher : The world is fast moving, you should learn all the new things in technology. If not you'll be left behind. Try to learn about Cloud, AI, ML, Block chain, Angular, Vue, blah blah blah.....

**pulls out a HTML textbook and starts writing on the board.

<center>.............</center>

A small ATM room which is equipped with 2 ACs and 4 tube lights, working 24x7 , is asking me not to print receipt to
save environment 🤔 🤣

Try to convince people that html isn't a programming language and there's no need for a compiler to work with html.

I've a choice to choose career as a 1.Performance tester
2.Developer

Which one should I take?

Completed a project for my final year CS degree and my professor rejected saying it is of very few lines of code.Hope he learns to evaluate projects on complexity and logic rather than number of lines of code. :/

I was eating a dairy milk 🍫, and my computer took a byte