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windows update code
function update(){
print("10%");
print("30%");
print("50%");
print("99%");
_doActualUpdate();
_mineBitcoin();
print("100%");
return;
}17 -
Me: I'm done working for today, let's pack up and go home !
Windows: :)
Me: You better fucking not-
Windows: Installing update 1 of 893...11 -
I still haven't updated my Windows laptop of new update. The reminder is annoying lol, I have clicked snooze button more than I do on my alarm
8 -
So Windows 10 Mobile seems like it wants to become true Windows and updates at night without any warning, illuminating my entire room
30 -
You have a presentation due in next 5 minutes?
Windows:- Okay, you know what? Fuck it. Let's update the PC.20 -
Windows 10 once again held my computer at ransom! When it finally came around after the update, all it really seem to do is place Edge back on my task bar. No... Bad Microsoft, I don't use or want Edge.
7 -
Reasons why I update a software to the latest version:
1% - I'm glad that they fixed the bug
4% - I want the new features
95% - To get rid of reminders that don't allow to tick a "don't remind me later" field.4 -
FUCK OFF WINDOWS. I NEED TO WORK BECAUSE MY DEADLINE IS COMING BUT NO, THE FUCKING WINDOWS DECIDED TO FUCKING UPDATE. I DON'T WANT AN UPDATE RIGHT NOW, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SOFTWARE. I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR 1 HOUR TO GET TO 35%. 🖕🖕🖕🖕
29 -
Looks like Microsoft is really supporting open source with its fucked up updates making people consider switching to Linux7
-
Me: when are you coming?
Gf: 1 hour
Me: started updating windows!!
.
.
.
After 1.5 hour
Gf came
Windows still updating 😂11 -
*knock knock*
SIR do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior the WINDOWS UPDATE?
"uhm no sorry I'm busy"
*sees a bulldozer in the background*
"what the .."
SIR just let him in your heart and feel his security patches drive your vulnerabilities away!!
"but the rendering hasn't finished ye.."
TOO LATE SIR, green light fellas let's do this
*bulldozer destroys my house and i wake up, sweating*
*hugs laptop*
"Oooh Ubuntu my baby I've missed you soo much!"
*wayland crashes*3 -
So. My grandma (280 km away) gave me a call.
Grandma: "Hiii. I have a problem with my PC."
Me thinking "ok. Just an ordinary tech support call from granny..."
Me: "Ok. What's the issue?"
Grandma: "Windows tells me there is no space left on drive F, non-stop"
Me: "As far as I know there is no drive F on your PC"
Grandma: "Would you be so kind to have a look?"
I agreed to log on via team viewer.
To cut an already long story short, there was this April Update which sent a bug all around the globe.
This bug exposed an internal drive Windows uses to do its Windows stuff - whatever it is.
Regularly these kind of drives are hidden from users eyes...
I finally solved it by applying a rollback on Windows.
The update is gone and with the next update there will be a fix from May to hide this drives again.
Microsoft!
I do you scare grandparents all around the globe?!??12 -
Fuck This
I have a demo tomorrow, my windows installation just decided to commit suicide by update
FUCK10 -
Come on Mac... We already have industry legends like Windows updates, Gradle build etc.. you don't want to be part of that legend :(
10 -
My class just got cancelled because the professor's PC decided now's the perfect time to update!
Gotta love windows sometimes :D7 -
8:30 - get into office, boot windows
Windows: "Oh man, here's this update. If you're not doing it now, I will start in 15 minutes. No questions asked!"
9:45 - checking update status
Windows: "Well i'm nearly finished, just give me a sec..."
9:55 - whats's my pc doing
Windows: "Hey mate, I did it! I also restored those neat shortcuts to MS EDGE for you. Please use my browser"
10:00 - Well i can finally start working
Windows: "Yeah... you would. But i had to remove theese few applications, because they are not compatible anymore."
11:00 - Okay, installed all my stuff, did some coding. Time to test it. Lets boot up my VM.
Windows: "Oh so sorry mate. Not gonna show my network devices to Virtualbox anymore. Have fun reconfiguring your connections without them."
Fuck this fucking Windows 10!
The only reason we have Win10 on our machines, is because people in my office panicked the last day of the "free upgrade period" (and i was on holidays)...17 -
//
// devRant unofficial UWP update (v1.5.6)
//
Hi!
A new update for Windows 10 users is in certification right now (will be available in a few hours/days), with the new feature you could see a few days ago on the official client.
But the main reason of this post is that I've seen the success of the official Issue Tracker created in August by @dfox and @trogus on GitHub.
For this reason I decided to do the same for the unofficial client.
Feel free to post bugs reports (I prefer this method instead of emails) and requests of features (even if not available in the official client) you would like to see.
https://github.com/JakubSteplowski/...
Complete changelog of v1.5.6:
- Added new 'post type' selector for easier classification of rant types in the future;
- Added Official devRant unofficial Issue Tracker on GitHub;
- Added Feedback page with link to GitHub Issue Tracker repo;
- Added black theme... no, wait... already there.
- Minor UI improvements;
- Minor back-end improvements;
I hope to see a lot of interesting feature requests I will enjoy to implement to make the UWP client always the best for you, Windows community. 😁
18 -
This happens when you are forced to update Windows 10 by Microsoft to latest build by their annoying Upgrade Assistant.
30 -
It was a cold monday evening.
I was alone in my room.
Many hours of coding had passed.
Windows offered me two options:
"Shutdown"
"Shutdown with update"
Anoyed by the update but thankful for the first option i decided to go with number one.
Windows started its shuting down process when all of a sudden...
"Please don't turn off your machine! Your updates are being konfigured!
It was that evening...
That one speciall evening...
I decided...
To finally...
Do nothing about this problem and cry myself to sleep...18 -
!WTF
Take a look at how big my SSD is(220GB).
Take a look at how much space I can remove with MS Disk Cleanup.
So there is a very very 👌 small risk that I will now erase the whole Windows Update File Server at Microsoft, lets see what's happens 🤞
16 -
When you have motivation for coding early in the morning but Windows would like to update your PC just after you have turned it on
7 -
Microsoft, if I click the "Update and shut down" button it means I want you to update and shut down, not do a third of the update, shut down then wait for me to turn the computer back on for you to finish! Why can't it just do the update, reboot as necessary then shut down once it's all done?3
-
Windows
Hi update for your PC is available do you want to upgrade?
No
Ok your update will start in 10 minutes 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭6 -
My wife is complaining that am spending too much time on devRant. I just told her, am coming here only when windows is updating :p ;)1
-
> An update is available
> Installs update
> Update failed bc of corrupted system components
> Random bluescreens
> Sfc /scannow
> Can't scan because there is one pending repair
> Restart
> Does everything except repairing
> Recovery mode
> System integrity check failed
> Reset Windows
> Reset failed bc of "some" problems
> Media creation tool for bootable USB
> Tool fails to write image
> Media creation tool on another pc
> Successful
> Install Windows
> Missing drivers, cannot install
> Wipes hard drive
Fuck you Microsoft8 -
So this is a huge fancy screen showing movie times and marketing stuff at my local cinema.
// TODO: get a better camera phone
9 -
Skynet is already here! They just call it windows update.... This shit can force itself through any number of times I say DISABLE AUTO FUCKING UPDATES.10
-
When installing windows 10 on a computer, it asks for your Microsoft account and then sets up the username with the first 5 letters of your email. My email starts with William, so my user name was willi. Thanks.6
-
Just updated to the latest insider build for Windows 10.. left PC unattended and came back later and it was ready... no BSODs, no random crashes, no issues, nothing... it just works as expected...
I can hear Linux fanatics screaming after reading this 😂
FUCK all this Windows stereotypes BS going on here16 -
MOTHERFUCK. FUCKING WINDOWS DID IT AGAIN TABARNAK!
Today, I was hoping to study some DB optimization for an exam tomorrow. How foolish of me to think that MOTHERFUCKING FUCKTARD WINDOWS WOULD NOT CHOOSE THIS EXACT MOMENT TO INSTALL THE FUCKING ANNIVERSARY UPDATE. Because it di. It took 2 hours to insert it's fucking update in my ass. FUCK.
I don't know why devs would choose to work for the devil, but for those who did create this update system, I HOPE YOU STEP ON LEGO BRICKS AND THAT YOUR AUDIO IS ALWAYS OUT OF SYNC WITH YOU VIDEO ON NETFLIX.6 -
-> "cs" friend wants to install "linux" on his laptop
->won't do it himself cuz cuckhole is afraid of ruining his original windows installation
->shitfuck bugging me for months and I always deny saying he needs to learn this shit too
->finally decide to help him, get a "linux" and go to the craphole he dwells in
->laptop looks high end, bezel less and what not. Also has a 120gigs ssd.
-> decide to partition it. Shit.
->ssd has less dan 40gigs left. Check and see there's ntn but a few store apps and visual studio installed+some personal data. Hmm where the fuck is the missing space.
->few mins of fkin shit around, decide to see size of windows installation
->nope
->nope
->nopenopenope
->windows+fuckYouUpdates takes > 50gigs of Precious and COSTLY ssd space
->tell my friend to reset windows, he denies and i nope the fuck outta there.(ik uninstalling updates and clearing cache and stuff might release space but not spending my whole fkin eve doing that thanks)
I don't hate windows, i love pc gaming but THIS is some shady shit microsoft fuck u and your worthless imbecile space sucking updates17 -
The rant filters are now available also on Windows 10 (on Desktop, Mobile, HoloLens, Xbox One and Surface Hub | Anniversary Update and later)!
Download:
http://bit.ly/2e41lnB
15 -
Call me a spoiled Linux kid but FUCK WINDOWS UPDATE!!
It's not even the shitty deployment cycle that they have for their updates, the real cancer is the fucking update app.
First off, if you fucking piece of shit already have the audacity to load gigabytes of updates over my 0.8mbit/s connection in the background, without my goddamn consent, at least let me PAUSE the fucking download!!! I don't see why the fuck you have to block my connection, and therefore me, from the most basic things like visiting a fucking website for more than a FUCKING HOUR to load useless updates, YOU PIECE OF BLOODSTAINED SHIT, I GOT SHIT TO DO.
And it doesn't stop there, noooo: then you even have the bloody fucking nerve to FORCE ME TO INSTANTLY RESTART AND SIT THROUGH YOUR FUCKING 40 MINUTE UPDATE PROCESS WHILE IM TRYING TO WORK.. WITHOUT THE ABILIT TO DELAY THE UPDATE!!! What the fuuuck?!
It is seldom that I am this 👌 close to just dd'ing /dev/null to my windows partition. Fuck you!!17 -
Today a few friends got together and built my gfs new computer. I just watched because.... I'm a hardware n00b :p
Anyways, it took them about 2 hours building all the stuff together and now we're done installing Windows from via disc. The problem is, it's 2015 windows. So we're updating.
And it already takes more time to update windows than building the actual computer.
Nice!
(Btw that's me in the background, super [not] comfy codepen-ing)
8 -
When it keeps happening every time but you're too lazy to fix it because you always remember it at 7am when you want to close the computer and go get some sleep...
Ugh...
1 -
Me: I have to switch to linux, this windows sucks. *click restart
Windows: where are you going baby
3 -
Today Windows notified me that I can update to the new Spring Creators Update. It didn't just start updating without my permission, which looking back should have been the first red flag. An hour later I started the update and left for classes for a few hours.
I came home and I was shocked. It updated successfully, everything was working fine, no apps were missing. I thought something must've went wrong, and just to make sure it updated correctly, I tried booting Linux and it booted without a problem. I'm currently on the phone with MS support to resolve these issues. The update must be broken, I can't see any other explanation. /s
But for real now. Windows isn't designed just to annoy you. Yes, it will update without your permission, but only if you've postponed it for weeks. I'm using systemd-boot as my Linux bootloader and Windows updates don't seem to affect it in any way, maybe it's something to do with GRUB. I've never seen Windows uninstall anything during update.
Yes, Windows 10 isn't perfect and has some bugs, but that's what updates are for. You know, the same updates you refuse to install. And whether you like it or not, Win10 is here to stay, especially since it has almost no competition for desktop use.9 -
So... People até talking about windows update crash??
Omg....
It crashed on me after updating... I was late to bed so just pressed the doom button (power off)... Because I was coming on vacation next morning...
Still thinking about what's expecting me after I return
15 -
I just spent 15 minutes trying to figure out why my school WiFi was so slow. Turns out, windows was downloading an update, ON HIGHEST FUCKING PRIORITY. Fuck you windows1
-
4x4ghz CPU, 16gb of RAM, 100mbps downstream and 1tb ssd... and it took windows only 2 hours and 4 restarts to install an update...WTF15
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goddammit Microsoft, why do I have to remove your fkking internet explorer icon and store icon after every update! noo I don't want it in my bar. gtfo! leave my settings as they were! How hard can it be? Think: does this fuck up someone s personal settings? if yes , DON'T DO IT.6
-
One too many rants on Windows Update and the apparently endless ways to somehow turn off enough parts of it to no longer consider it a nuisance — and mostly neglecting to remember how to turn it back on or run it manually...
This of course lends a lot of room for bitching about Windows being unsecure and and outdated :o
Unfortunately the good people at NoVirusThanks have recently released the tool you've all been waiting for — no need to cry any longer because Microsoft's monthly release schedule means you have updates every time you bimonthly "have to" use Windows:
Win Update Stop — as simple as pictured: http://novirusthanks.org/products/...
It even comes in a portable version and support all the way back to XP!
19 -
Windows 10 "update" just broke itself... I can't wait for game companies to start building more games for Linux so I don't have to spend my free time fixing my spywar... I mean operating system11
-
Windows 10 now let's you step through a options menu, which shows automatically after the new update, to select which kind of tracking you want to have. This makes it way more transparent for not tech savy people:)
12 -
Hey, I´m through with the Win10 update.
That was fast. And no problems! Everything seems to be working.
Wait...
Android SDK not found...
Java not found ...
Seems all my environment variables are gone.
Even better all the standard variables are wrong too.
My Home Drive is now "H:" ?
What the hell?10 -
Windows: would you like to update?
Me: no not rn I'm currently on battery and traveling, let me just quickly restart.
Windows: Okay I'll install the latest updates for you.
Me: oh FFS
11 -
So Microsoft, you tell me that there is a known bug, if you have Windows 10 with the newest update installed on a SSD and Apps running on another hard drive?! And this bugs causes random freezes of the whole PC from time to time?
WHAT THE FUCK?!
It is a common setup nowadays to have a SSD with windows 10 and software on other hard drives and you didn't care to check it before releasing the update? Which I HAVE to download and install?
FUCK YOU MICROSOFT!8 -
So you want to write some notes on your surface pro 3...
Windows 10: UPDATE TIME!
Me after two minutes:
4 -
Ok, I’m over windows. Done with it.
I have been a long time windows, I’ve used most versions since 3.11, and have used Linux for a few years on the side (not as a daily but have needed it for work and servers) but with yesterday’s update, not only have I lost audio for the countless time again, as far as Windows is concerned there’s nothing fucking wrong with it, besides the lack of sound and all.
Drivers are reinstalled, deleted and reinstalled, redownloaded from manufacturer, different drivers installed.
Ran a system restore back to before the update and just dropped the hdd into another laptop (it’s identical model) and still no fucking audio (to exclude the audio chip as failing)
So fuck it, I’m spending my weekend finding a distro that will work, I’m fucking done!9 -
Every damn time I turn on my laptop I spend 15 mins just closing auto update shit from windows 10 and office
Dear Microsoft I have a 2Mbit line not 100000GB fiber optics, auto update cripples my internet 😒
4 -
Just realized Windows 10 update "Restart Now" button doesn't have a confirmation/cancel screen unlike the normal power options.
Learned it the hard way when I just wanted to change the time it restarts and clicked restart now by accident.
Goes to show how forced these updates are .-.
22 -
FFFUUUU!!!
Damn Windows april update!
After a LOT of problems with drivers, bluetooth, etc. it even partially corrupted the font of a program, the console shows a list of data from a medical image database so i had a micro heart attack when i first saw this tinking the database was corrupted (i was checking out a problem)!
I bet it's the "smart" font re-sizing!!!
5 -
I just wanted to turn off my throw it in my backpack and go home. But freaking Windows has just decided that this is a great time for an update 😡7
-
Everybody is complaining about the new MacBook Pro... But what's the alternative??? Just started my fucking company notebook and having the same status for 10 minutes now:
12 -
Windows asks to update. I say no and 10min later i get this casual update continuing.
Glad i have a say in life
8 -
Windows decides to download Creative update.
I restart the computer wait for the update to finish.
I see the login screen.
I log in, then windows says:
"Hi, we have an update for you this might take a few minutes!"
What the serious fuck windows? Did you need me to login so that you can waste more of my time?3 -
Update?! Fuck windows.
While playing Tower Unite, i spammed my spacebar.
Windows opened a window that i confirmed that something by spamming my spacebar.
It's a stupid windows 7 update.
Thank's windows..........
10 -
I sometimes feel Windows keeps on pushing useless updates, just to mess with the users. Change a single line of code (or rather just add a comment) and push the entire module as new.
How can it be everytime I boot on my windows device, it has an update.
EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. TIME.
Same goes for you steam.2 -
So excited! My brand new drive finally shows up in the mail today so I naturally want to install it right away.
Power down, install drive, power up.
Windows decided now is the perfect time for an update! 30 minutes and counting....on 84%....for 30 minutes....
FML
1 -
In the very rare occasion that I boot into windows instead of linux is when I want to use Photoshop to edit some photos - usually works fine. USUALLY. I now see why everyone complains about windows updates
12 -
Okay then, everything's fine, I'm sure this is normal... Windows went to sleep mode while applying an update.3
-
Me - sits down to code
Windows - need to install small update
Me - skip
Windows - HELL NO UPDATE
6 hours later.......
Update faild.3 -
Found this on the big ass advert screen outside my cinema. The Dino represents my feelings very well to that exact message 😂
2 -
Ok, so many people rant about windows update. It can fuck up things, starts unexpectedly (after 100 warnings and messages letting you choose when but ok) and it takes too long to update.
I use Windows daily so I update regularly and never takes more than 5 mins. 20 when its a major update twice a year. So let's talk about Linux.
Yesterday I wanted to try out .net core on Linux so I booted my antergos vm to do it. TLDR: Didn't do shut because, surprise, Linux updates.
So apparently I downloaded the wrong version of visual studio code. Uninstall and install the right one then. Nope, can't do that. Some dependency must be updated. That dependency is on the highest version on the AUR, I have to get a different one. Ok, no problem. But I can install the other because uninstalling the original breaks more dependencies. Well fuck then.
So I decided I'd do a full system update with pacman, shouldn't take long. 1.6gb worth of update. I have 200mb download so it should be fast right? Well, I had to wait a couple of hours.
So I couldn't do anything on my afternoon because of Linux updates. That's an original rant isn't it?
And before the comments get here, yeah I know it's arch, it's difficult and all that. This isn't about being hard to do. It's just annoying and making me lose time.4 -
Yesterday a windows update somehow managed to corrupt my arch linux partition and I eventually had to spend the whole day recovering what was left because I needed it for today. Well... yesterday was also my girlfriends birthday..2
-
me: alright let me print this now.
*goes downstairs*
printer: *on the display* ... Printing ...
printer: *on the display* ... Printing ...
printer: *on the display* ... Printing ...
*no paper to be seen*
me: why isn't this working?
*checks computer upstairs.*
computer: *popup* We have an update scheduled for 17:40, we can install it then or, if you like, now.
me: oh, ok.2 -
Fucking Windows.
Before everyone starts saying that I should switch to Linux, I prefer Windows as my primary OS and Linux as a secondary OS.
Anyways, I updated my Windows a few days ago and ever since, instead of fucking shutting down it acts like it goes into hibernation. If I tell you to shut down, that means to shut down, not save everything and reopen everything when I turn you back on.
Besides that, why the fuck is it trying to install some Canon printer driver, that I don't even have! Thus leading it to fail every god time I turn off my PC, and then it says "Updates failed to install."
Seriously, had no problem with Windows until a few days ago. Simple terms, fuck Microsoft right now.6 -
Of course there's one of these in the airport.
Why do they even use Windows for just a monitor I will never understand...
4 -
So windows decided to be the cunt it is once again!
I turned my windows to sleep cause I was gonna have dinner and I don't fucking know what the fuck windows think "sleep" is but after around 10 minutes a hear a sound of a device getting unplugged (I use an external mouse)
Fuck! Fucking shit, you dimwit, you decided to perform a goddamn update? An update? Seriously? Are you fucking kidding me, I did an update around a week or two ago! And my laptop was on sleep for a motherfucking reason! All my tabs...all those fucking tabs and programs
How the fuck can you update when I only kept it in sleep you shitnugget?!
What kind of asshole does that? I had unsaved files man
And now it restarted twice and no, this motherfucking cunt couldn't even apply the updates; just fucking rolled back!3 -
“You’ve turned on laptop just to check if the screen works? I hope you got some time for Windows Updates”
6 -
If I see you complaining about a Windows update interrupting your work, I automatically assume you're an idiot.
People were complaining about this more than a year ago, so you must already know about it being an issue. If you haven't taken steps to avoid the issue, then you've failed to use your brain properly.20 -
Windows update time..
Can't, error 0x8024a105
No problem, I'll google that !
First answer in the list:
https://bleepingcomputer.com/forums...
-------------
In the recent Windows 10 update, the error code 0x8024a105 appeared and the update stopped.
How to repair?
Problem solved.
Edited by hugeB, 15 March 2017 - 05:46 AM.
-------------
Fantastic you solved it, how....10 -
Fed up with my windows becoming too slow, I decided to go for a fresh start.
Now it's stuck here from past 1 hour
5 -
Help, please :D
My girlfriend came to visit me and now her laptop is bricked (boot loop). She has the WIP of fall creators.
16 -
Pressed update and shutdown which lead to a BSOD
And now the windows won't boot.
Well played windows1 -
Why the actual fuck does it take 20 fucking minutes for an 18mb updates to download with download speeds of over 200 Mbit/s on a SSD? What is Windows' fucking problem with updates that it takes so abnormally long to download and install?3
-
Windows Update..
1803 I think..
Lost my graphic drivers again..
Great, 4 monitors and only one is working !8 -
Windows: restarting in 10 seconds
Me: probably just a bug or something like that *click OK button*
10 seconds later
Me: it's no a bug! IT'S NOT A BUG! let me save my stuff
(I don't now why windows did that it made some kind of update without warning except for the 10 seconds and then I had some problem s like I couldn't connect to a SQL server and the computer was super slow)6 -
- New Windows installation
- Decides to update windows
- 5 hour leater:
- Still updating: 2/583727
- Thinks Linux is better
- Stay in front of my computer waiting for the update to finish2 -
I wake up to a mail saying my website is down. I visit my website and for some reason i get a 403 all of a sudden.
I get out of bed, turn on my pc, go do my stuff. When im done, it turns out Windows strikes once again!
-
So I'm basically my family's IT guy, as you'd expect, but this is just pulling my hairs.
My mom's laptop has a weird error message saying something about a corrupt windows update database.
Not wanting to mess the system up, I decided to factory reset the computer and see if that helped.
During the factory reset, windows tells me that it can't delete all files, and that another factory reset might be in order.
Alright, I don't think any more of it and proceed to setup the account on the computer, everything works fine.
Next day I decide to run windows update on it just to see if everything works as it should, the computer restarts and immediately BSoDs on me. Upon reboot the same error from before the system reset pops up again, and I'm back to square one.
Fuck windows and all its constant issues
9 -
To all those whining about sudden windows 10 update, or don't want to update their windows, please go to
Administrative tools->services->Disable windows update.
Enough of blue screens in my devRant feed.4 -
Windows keeps uninstalling touchpad drivers after update and tells that i didn't need them, well touchpad is not working after uninstalling drivers you fuck.
-
So everyone here has probably seen many posts ranting (or should that be rants posting) about windows updates in the lastest version of Windows. I have seen one too many rants about losing work due to this well it happened to me to. ..almost.
Since I have an editor that saves work automatically I didn't lose anything but just had to restart by applications and set my windows how they were again. It wasn't planned and I had previously manually disabled windows updates but they still ran and rebooted my machine...grrrrr!
Doing some more research I found my previous fix which worked in Windows 10 1511, and 1607 versions (anniversary update and prior) doesn't work in version 1703 or 1709 the Creator's and Fall Creator's updates respectively.
If you have version 1511 or 1607 you can just disable the windows update service and windows store service and appxpackage services to completely stop windows updates and unexpected reboots. I ran it like that for over a year from 2015 well into 2017. After being impressed with the newer Fall Creator's update I decided to manually update to 1703 and then to 1709 which is the latest version.
The problem is, the old disable service fix isn't enough now in these newer versions. To disable updates in the newer versions you have to stop the usoclient which is the update orchestrator. Simply disabling the services doesn't work anymore.
Changing the file permissions of the usoclient will work and stop the scheduled tasks from firing.
Here ya go, no more unscheduled reboots. YOU pick when you want Windows to update:
https://ghacks.net/2017/12/...5 -
So, I had a Windows update left (I'm not a fan of windows but updates are important!)
Aaaaand it failed. And this error tells me that I am trying to install Windows (which is not the case). Loving it 😋
2 -
So, whenever I delay windows 10 update restart a few times, things start breaking. Wifi doesn't work, 100% cpu, ram or mem usage, sound problems etc. And all this goes away once I submit my soul and update. I'm sick of this shit 😡. Today I got a BSOD after which it updated and things seem fine FOR NOW.
Does this happen to other Win 10 users?9 -
Coding along, frustrated already, need to restart computer to test something.
Of course im running on Windows and then I realize I have no restart opinion, the only one that exists is "update and restart"
*sigh*6 -
My Win 10 stopped updating 2 months ago. "Windows update database error" it says. No fix worked, the only thing to do (according to Microsoft assistance) is to reinstall the whole system. Only because i clicked on "postpone" to the last one.
I really miss Windows 7...4 -
Just tried to install the Windows 10 anniversary update, got 26% done did a reboot and I got a black screen and my laptop doing literally nothing. A couple of resets later, "Windows is restoring a previous version" at least they made sure it can restore a previous version.5
-
"Dear Windows staff,
To think a fatal error screen can be shown beautifully is likeable.
To add in a QR code to be redirected to some assistance is likeable.
But like things that are likeable, THEY DON'T NEED TO BE REGULARLY SHOVED TO THE FACE !
Sincerest regards,
One who desperately wants to shutdown Windows Update once and for all.8 -
I hate this screen...... Unfortunately I cannot switch to Linux because I need visual studio for my school project which is a xamarin project.
11 -
When windows decides to force you to update when shutting down, like no problem, not like I have a fucking deadline or anything.1
-
Alrighty, saturday morning rant time!
I just recieved a mail from one of my not-so-much-loved colleagues.
Now Background first: I work in IT-Support. We provide services for other companies. One of those services is monitoring servers and clients for various things. I recently took over the project (was assigned to do it) and restructured everything, wrote new scripts to test more stuff, successfully tested it internally and rolled it out over the last 2 weeks.
Now one of these scripts hooks into the Windows Update API and looks at the update history. It filters for known Windows Update Agent strings (UpdateOrchestrator, AutomaticUpdates and AutomaticUpdatesWuApp in case you also want to do something like this) and then looks for installation errors over the last 24 hours and wherever there have even been any successful updates over the last one and a half months.
Back to that mail.
My colleague sent me this lovely mail about a ticket i opened about his customers servers beeing all out-of-date on updates.
"This is all wrong, everything's fine. I disabled the checks."
...
It's on bitch.
So i logged on to my work PC via TeamViewer, opened my script, connected to the customer and was ready to debug the shit out of my script, knowing i probably won't even need to.
I looked at the update history via Windows Update itself and behold: 1st April. That's almost 50 days in the past.
So the script works, go figure.
Great, so search for new Updates then.
>None found.
Hm. What could it be? Did my super special colleague forget to care about his very special totally-needs-WSUS-customer WSUS again?
Yup.
Online-Search finds a ton of new Updates.
Screenshot, write pissed mail to colleague, re-enable checks, breakfast.1 -
I see a lot of rants about Linux dual boot with Windows and Windows update fucks up grub. So I bought a new ssd and reinstalled Linux, but damn.. its always a lot of work to make everything work again. Every time I still learn new things and I don't have to be afraid anymore after Windows update
-
Whenever i want to chill out, play games and movies the computer is very supportive
"Here ya go fella ooo 20 chrome tabs on a conspiracy? Sure why not" but i swear to god the moment i want to be productive,
"What's that? Android studio? Why don't i triple the normal loading time, freeze for 1absolutely no reason ooo u wanna run emulator with that? Lol okay sweetie good luck"
or or
"Sir do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, the WINDOWS UPDATE? Oh no you can't shut the door your house is practically OURS"
Guys i feel my computer is sentient. It doesn't want me getting too smart for ..reasons? Does anyone else feel the same way about their machine? I hope its not too late to start a revolution yet2 -
My friends and I decided to have a match of HOMM6
So, I booted in Windows after almost 3 months and the first thing that it does is run into an update.
IT RESTARTED WITHOUT MY PERMISSION
Had to wait nearly 1 hour until the update finished
My friends started without me X(
FUCK YOU WINDOWS5 -
I've disabled automatic updates on windows 10 long time back. Still they download and updates every time.
Do they have some hidden settings that only can be disabled by a non-linux user?9 -
I get home today and my wife says:
"Just finished some chores and really want to play stardew valley, but the computer has been updating for an hour!"
Windows 10 anniversary update strikes again.3 -
I don't generally agree with the death sentence, but maaaybe it should be allowed specifically for the person who created the current iteration of Windows Update. Just got woken up by a video playing on my computer, which happened because Windows fucking Update thought it was a good time to reboot for no reason.1
-
So I actually got an update for my PC at work, proposing me to postpone it or to do it later. I postpone it to one hour later, since I'll be buying food for lunch, it can update and reboot.
When I came back from lunch, laptop is asking me to postpone or do the update right now. So I sigh because the laptop just stayed locked without doing anything, and ask it to do the update in 4 hours, when I'll be leaving.
2 minutes later, it forces me to update with the "30 min left before rebooting", so I sigh again, closes everything and reboot.
Since it's a Windows, it's slow on booting by definition. Plus launching Slack, Eclipse, Firefox, VLC. Takes time. Plus launching the server. +1000 files to compile then deploying.
I lost 20 minutes because of that edgy bitch called "update".3 -
I just want to thank Windows 10. Because of 3 updates in a week I got to do almost no work, spend 4hrs understanding why I was in a recovery mode loop, and make me lose a days worth of work by hiding the only folder I stupidly left on my C drive post update.
Without this I’d actually have to do work to get paid, and that’s just gross. -
99% disk usage? Ah, Windows is updating. Guess I'll just go ahead and get nothing done then. Oh, devRant!1
-
Holy shit windows update just jumped from 51% to 45%
I may be partly responsible for this taking legit two hours by not having an ssd but damn these take long2 -
You know what, I think the USA government just had a Windows Update, oh no wait, their versions of Windows are too old, they ain’t attacked by MS anymore.
-
I have to go onto windows to do something that Linux can't do. Should I be worried about all the updates? (particularly worried about them overwriting my other partitions since I dual-booted)7
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Just when I thought Microsoft is going in the right direction with the launch of dark Surface products and dark mode for Windows, they took all my hopes away with their shitty Windows Update thing. Completed download and rebooted to find out that the update has vanished. Great, thanks for wasting my data, Windows. :3
-
The feeling of joy when you really have to finish something and a automated windows update deletes your IDE because windows assumes it isn't compatible with the new update.2
-
So, you have some coffee, make up your mind, and sit down to begin the project you need to submit the next day.
You fire up the machine and bam! Windows takes it's April update - "Do not turn off your PC", and a fucking rotation of evil dots on the screen for eternity.
And it goes on and on, on and on, till you have lost all mood for work.3 -
Is it just me who's never been prevented from working by windows update?
(While working in windows that is)2 -
Windows update process takes half an hour. Restart pc.
A message: "updates have been installed" ...
Ffs You think I didn't notice? And why is there no more information? What exactly did you need this half hour of updating for? At least give me a changelog, or the biggest changes.2 -
Windows .... You are amazing ... Managing to change my BitLocker Key without telling me, crashed you Update as always and asking for the new key you did not told anybody about to recover yourself ... Great ... Just great....
Seriously thinking about to switch back to Linux like it was before and hiding these crap in VM ...
2 -
Had a Windows update the other day. Now hyperv isn't working anymore.
I fixed it but why the fuck does the update change the group policy settings? It's supposed to update the system not poke around in my settings!3 -
I know Windows update rants are a dime a dozen but HOW IN THE FUCK DID YOU MICROSUCKADICK BOOT LICKERS SHOVE SO MUCH HORSESHIT INTO THIS UPDATE THAT IT UNINSTALLED VIRTUALBOX? The hell?
Really, I rebooted my PC, short cuts everything, gone! Newer stuff is there plus any restore point would have had VirtualBox installed, so what the hell.
I’m stating to think that when Windows says “all your files are exactly where you left them” it’s a best guess because it just completely fucked with all your files for no reason and tried to put them back but it’s not so sure.4 -
can't believe I'm so eager to go to work early today (to download windows 10 anniversary update)
ps- my office internet >> home5 -
This 3 day weekend couldn’t come at a better time! Today has done everything it can to delay it and everything has been a superb annoyance!
It started off with our internal systems going down, a frustratingly tedious project proposal process, our phones went down, off the wall calls to support all day causing them to ask me junk.
As a parting gift the pending windows update and it completely crashed my development VM and corrupted my install of virtual box. I had planed in only working a half day, but worked 6.5 hours, hit traffic al over. Was late to the event.
Not I get here and there’s a bunch of smokers outside and I could reallllllly use a drag. But I’m not gonna. 😒
Just ready to kick back and do non computer things til Tuesday. 😎 -
! rant
after about three months of unsuccessful attempts, my windows just managed to install the "create falls update", or whatever is it called.
anyone up for a celebration? 🎉2 -
Fall Creators Update did some changes to Bash on Windows, first they renamed it to WSL(Windows Subsystem for Linux) and now you can have multiple distros on it.
They also added it to Windows Server.
I have no idea why people would use Windows Server, but I guess that if you are forced to use it, you can now use Linux utilities on it, so woot? I guess.5 -
Why windows why.... This is windows updates lowest cpu usage today.... I've had my PC running for about 6 hours and still I'm unable to install any update....
3 -
Woke up, full of motivation for work.
But I guess windows knew better. It's been 30min already, and it operate on an SSD.
And here I thought this was going to be a good day...
2 -
TL;DR: Microsoft updates break drivers, make unbootable. Hours wasted. Such rage.
Lol. I come home, try booting my windows desktop. Need desperately to play some videogames. Power is on. Monitor lights up. Bios splash. Windows startup spinner.
Suddenly, windows startup spinner gone, monitor shuts off. Wait 5 minutes, no change. Force power off and reboot, same behavior.
Google says it's probably a bad video driver. I don't remember installing any in the last month, but heck I don't use this computer for shit outside of games, so may as well do a full OS reinstall and hope the problem drivers are gone.
Reboot and force power off halfway through boot to let windows know something's wrong next boot. Literally no other way to get to alternate boot methods.
Run the reset. First time, percent-counter starts. I leave the room at 30% to go get a sandwich. Come back and it says it's "undoing changes". Something went wrong and I have no way of knowing what.
Oh well, I'll just try again and see what the problem was. NOPE! Completes windows reinstall without a hitch on the second attempt.
Okay, now let's get my stuff back on here. First things first, Microsoft updates for my processor, graphics card, "security". Halfway through the updates, monitor shuts off and I'm back to square one. IT WAS THE MICROSOFT DRIVER, NOT THE ONE FROM NVIDIA GEFORCE EXPERIENCE!!!!
Fucking Microsoft. To all ye who rail against Linux as a gaming platform because of its unstable drivers, observe here the stupidity of Microsoft and weep.3 -
Still waiting for the Windows 10 October 2018 Update to be re-released or declared stable to go ahead, format and start over on my laptop.
Also still having trouble when using ZIP files 😑5 -
Just ran disk cleanup. Windows update cache = 3.2 GB.
How the fuck can an OS updater have 3 fucking GB's of cache. God dammit do they put shit in just to mess with my already slow connection?3 -
F*cking Windows piece of shit.
I don't use windows, never.
I have it installed like a virus I installed on purpose to do certain things.
One of those things is updating my GPS device.
Well the piece of shit windows decided it was a good idea to restart while I was updating the GPS. Like in the middle of the update. Exactly when it says "Do not unplug your device or turn off your computer"
F*CKING PIECE OF SHIT.5 -
How the heck does nvram magically forget your boot entries while your system is up...
Worst reboot of windows I've experienced in a long time, ugh.
The boot/*.efi files are still present but no entries in the menu... -
Updated to Win10 Anniversary Update. I've seen the bug-hell. Reinstalled Win8.1. Updated to Win10. I've lost a full afternoon doing nothing. Please stahp! That's why I use Linux.7
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That short moment of fear when Windows restarts during boot without appearant reason and you think the last Windows update messed with the hard drive encryption1
-
I always see people cry about Windows restarting because for some reason they pretend it forcibly restarts. Just started the Windows 10 notebook of my mother. It had the first update if it installed although it is in daily use... So yeah...1
-
Rant
Why Windows why you do this to me...
Been looking at this for at least 30m now and was mid way through an eureka moment...
4 -
New year old me
Fucking Windows
"You have written a lot of code lately it would be ashame if I just crash"
*Bluescreen*
"Configuring updates"
Fuuuuuuuuuccccckkkkkkk
Luckily I saved my code11 -
Made the mistake of restarting my pc at work this morning. Came up with configuring Windows, do not turn off.
30 minutes later, same message showing.
Despite message saying don't turn off, i had had enough and turned it off, think it would be completely broken.
Booted fine, no issues?!?! Thanks Microsoft.5 -
Here we go. Installing Windows 10 Pro insider preview 14372 on my home laptop. I guess I have time to socialize now.. takes ages anyways.
4 -
Stupid Windows Update back at it again with the Fall Creator's Update. More like Fail Creator's Update. My poor laptop took it too hard and the built-in mobile hotspot feature is currently bugged and not working, with the ICS service in task manager stuck at 100% you usage. Restore to previous version or not to restore to previous version? That my friends is the question. *picks up Ubuntu 17.10 live disk*2
-
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
It's 4AM in the morning I and after a pleasent past 4 days, I woke up to this piece of fucked up forced feed shit.. me whole PC is stuck in boot and makes no noise after Windows forced fucked me on every single I/O with their shit piece of orgy:ed up excuse of an update.... Dear good.. this is the best fucking start of a week..... ಠ╭╮ಠ
So fucking done with this pile of bukkake.. Ubuntu, take me in!!3 -
Freaking bitchass smartphone that decides to reboot out of FREAKING NOWHERE ! Are you trying to beat windows update ? Cause you goddamn did... freaking hell and if it wasn't enough i had to lose the freaking bigass text i was writing2
-
Two working days lost because of windows update: pc takes a lot of time to shut down .. lot of time to open .. when it opens it is very laggy because the windows update service is consuming my disk usage .. what is the hell is microsoft doing?
Is anyone else facing the same problem? Serious question here3 -
Made a fresh Windows 7 install and directly wanted to update it. I didn't install or modify anything and the updater is corrupted. Wtf windows?4
-
Dev: check these out everything is perfect as usual
Tester: your last code behave like windows update dude -
That happens when you try to keep the faith in Microsoft...
Watching the video in the "Mini Mode" and then...
God bless the Creators Update!
-
Why can't windows just leave my fucking scrolling settings alone when I update.... And no, I don't want to use onedrive. Ever.
-
Fucking windows update.. after the spring update the mobile driver is broken or somehow it doesn't recognized my mobile. Fucking cunts.1
-
How enormously great:
(I’m using Windows on Mac a few times for games requiring windows )
*starts win to play with friend *
*update bluescreen*
*installing discord on phone again to inform friend*
*trying to remember the backup code for my 2fa codes*
*I tried*
*win updated but I don’t have time left to play*
PLEASE STOP SURPRISING ME WITH FORCE UPDATES AND FIND AWAY AROUND6 -
Windows 10 Fall Creator Update (1709) is not supporting Samsung SSD 960 Pro M.2 right now.
Always when I try to update it, I get at the start a blue screen with Boot Device not detected. (Error 0xc00000bb)
Thought ok, let's try the update assistens - Nope
Tried to only boot on my M.2 - Nope NOPE
Tried to install upgrade it over a direct Image - Fuck you MoBo, ain't gonna work.
Googled around and everybody with a Samsung 960 Pro have this problem with the update 1709.
Who dafuq test this things at Microsoft? They are forgetting over the bit more expensive customers with a higher end Rigs.
FUCK YOU MICROSOFT AND WINDOWS TOGETHER. Im gonna bury you under water with in a fucking bolder.7 -
Trying to type and some ridiculous update notification continuously grabs the cursor so I end up not typing in the right spot. I've dismissed it 5 times and still it persists. I finally just install the stupid updates and it fails. And continues to pop up that I need to download them and install.
Windows is no good for me. -
just had a bluescreen in win 10 killing my newest project and reducing it to ashes😡
for no reason
not even an error code
fuck windows and its update policies. my laptop is way slower and more instable since the new fall update. it killed some software i had to reinstall and ms changed the options for advertisement again. ive had enough of windows
im finally switching over to Linux and im going to bann win 10 on a vm1 -
Lovely Sunday here, yet Windows decided to Fall a Creator update up in my PC.
3 hours jamming internet of whole house;
1 hour Preparing installation at 100%;
30 minutes spent on turning off new bloatware icons and silently changed settings;
Several dev tools stopped working, gave up;
Tried to play games they all stuttering;
Fall back to League of Lesbians and oh boi 792 almighty ping;
Well done! Microsoft.1 -
Fuck Windows. I just checked settings hoping to see the Creators update but noooo it's been failing to install a minor update for weeks now. And the best part is that the only solution might wind up being a clean reinstall. I need to be sleeping right now but I can't go to school in the morning without my laptop either so I'm fucked. I was already too deep in the recovery process by bedtime to back out. Fuck.1
-
Booted into my Windows doing uni assignment (Windows Form App, didn't wanna use VM), was bored so I decided to run Windows Update...
"Feature update to Windows 10, version 1709".....
Fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff.....
Enter hour 3, "Preparing to install updates 97%", can't do shit in Visual Studio without lagging cause of this damn update1 -
Thanks Windows 10 April update:
i'm not even mad for using my network on high priority when you were downloading the update or taking 1 freaking hour of my working time to finish the updates just to add spam to my lockscreen and an uglier task view but if you could please at least not f**k up all my Wifi, bluetooth and video driver it would be great!
Still having problem with bluetooth connection and i re-installed drivers several times! -
Let me tell you about my wonderful weekend. It all started with a game that doesn't run in wine and it ended up in the biggest nightmare of Windows Update and EFI configuration.
1 - let's boot on my Windows partition to play trackmania 2.
2 - Windows Update interrupts me while driving a track.
3 - Update keep failing over and over again.
4 - I keep trying things to fix Windows Update, but with no success.
5 - Let's try system restore, failed
6 - Let's try to do a reset. "You don't have a recovery drive". Oh, right...
7 - Let's try to upgrade Windows 10 to Windows 10, just because. Nope, "we could not determine if your pc can run Windows 10". Wait what....
8 - I guess I'll be reinstalling this trash. "Nope, can't. Don't like that partition I just formatted". Of course you can't...
9 - Had to delete the partition and let it create new ones. It created a new EFI partition. Just why???
10 - Okay that worked. Let's fix grub now.
11 - Maybe not, let's try rEFInd, because it looks fancy.
12 - After rebooting on the live USB for about 50 times and reconfiguring rEFInd without any luck, I realised the install script didn't install fs drivers for ext4. Oh, right... That's why you didn't find any Linux kernel...
13 - It can't boot windows, they're using a different EFI partition. Let's move rEFInd to the new EFI partition windows created for me.
14 - Finally everything works again. So much effort to play a freaking game without being bothered by windows update. And rEFInd abience theme looks beautiful.
I've got to say though, I learned a lot and the Arch wiki is awesome!6 -
I find it weird that every time after system hangs, there’s Windows Update installing while restarting ( -_-)1
-
So my Windows installation is getting the creators update. Let's see if it even installs. Stuck on here for about half hour.
4 -
Is there a way to hibernate before updating windows? I have 15 virtual desktops rounding up to 45 desktops via 3 monitors with different setups, it would be a pain having to restore it all manually 😥1
-
Every, single, time, Windows, updates, and reboot...
I do not know what I did wrong with this Mint. It works perfectly until I reboot to Windows. So Windows update itself, I have to reboot and, after finishing all Windows boots, when I come back to Linux it does not work anymore.
10 -
Had to reboot to windows for a small task
The task was done in 3 minutes
Now i have to reboot back to continiue working because time is tight
*windows update*
I was angry and hoped it would be over as soon as possible
It is already updating for more than an hour and a half(it is not stuck)
and its only 32% done
*me crying in the corner*1 -
I used to be able to connect my Windows laptops to any TV with HDMI and duplicate the screen for presentations, watching movies, etc. But since about 6 months ago I can’t get ANY TVs to work with ANY Windows laptops. Everything I’m reading says it’s either out of date drivers (nope) or something to do with a crap update from MS. I’m going with the latter. It can’t be coincidence that ALL my updated machines suddenly can’t do this basic function.2
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So a few months ago a broke screen of my laptop, currently I quite broke so I can't change screen and for some time I was using TV as screen, but ofc. Windows have to crash or do similar shit and know it doesn't send signal via HDMI, probably it's showing some info, but signal is only send when it boots windows or something.
So my girlfriend give me her old laptop (4gb RAM and I3 processor, bit touchscreen :/) and windows aren't updated for quite a long (it was still windows 8) and I tried to update it. Ofc it has to be problem, DISM doesn't work, downloading iso doesn't work, fml. I guessed I have to live with that, but later disc usage starts to be around 100% and freeze for few minutes (shitty Win2k PC at uni was more responding). Then I try to refresh windows, DISM starts working, updates semi-working. I left with 21 updates with error and there starts conversation:
Me: install 21 updates
Win: kk. Or actually no
Me: please
Win: the best what I could do is 8.
Me: it's something
Win: actually fuck it, only 4
Me: I'm done *typing Manjaro xfce*
So now I have dual boot with Manjaro which use 40% ram with Firefox open, when windows has 30% alone. I can't play anyway and DF is on Linux so fuck Windows.
I am noob when it comes to Linux and everything actually, but it makes me want to learn and improve.16 -
Sitting at my table in the office.
Not doing nothing for about 20 minutes.
Thanks (fuck you) windows update.
Sincerely,
an engineer that nearly has a home (finally). -
Another on workflow:
When the IT department thinks it's a good idea to limit the snooze function in windows update to ten minutes, and of course, you think about that half a day you'd need just restoring the workspace and get back into the groove, so you decide to postpone and remember to do so again.
Then like clockwork (literally and figuratively): within twenty minutes the machine reboots because you were too focused to notice the notification again.. And all is lost.
Ok, so windows does a good job restoring everything now, but that's Windows 10 while work uses 7. The conclusion is the same: IT department should focus on their tangled cables, things they know. -
I finally understand why everyone here hates Windows.
I updated to the latest version on my laptop and now whenever I wake the laptop from sleep mode my screen just starts flashing like crazy and I can't use the laptop until fully turning it off and on again.
Now I have to either do a fresh install of Windows again or try switching to Linux 🤔3 -
I could almost swear, when Windows 10 is ready to install updates on my PC it starts slowing it down so i can restart it and then it can proceed installing them.🤔
but oh well...thats too far fetched1 -
I don't know why people are complaining about windows updates while they can stop the update service from service manager. I did that wile I was using windows.
Moral of the story: I use linux. 😜 -
"You won’t be able to use your Surface Book if you want to take the bar in Tennessee"
http://flip.it/XouWZd
Kinda amusing really. They really believe you can choose when Windows 10 updates.
Ignorance truly is bliss. -
Hardly ever use Windows on my laptop. One grub misstake later and I've been staring at "working with updates" for 20 min. Reinstalling windows would take less time... jävla skit os.
-
I hate it when I postpone the updates till i finish my current part of the project and then after an hour of installing the updates, windows takes another hour undoing it! And am setting there doing nothing..
-
Started Windows after a few days, I'm now using a Linux notebook more often and what happens - Yeah Updates - it is updating for hours -.- damn..
-
!rant
For what reason has windows update settings in its group policies if it completely ignores them? 😠😡
I disabled everything that regards windows update, because I had to copy 80gb (my vm with all the dev tools installed) from PC A to PC B.
Well , guess what I saw this morning..
I am really annoyed by this, but I need windows for my steam games - I guess steam rescues Windows once more this time..
1
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