No proble

windows update code

function update(){
print("10%");
print("30%");
print("50%");
print("99%");
_doActualUpdate();
_mineBitcoin();
print("100%");
return;
}

When 1 update isn't enough

If Windows gets honest..

Me: I'm done working for today, let's pack up and go home !
Windows: :)
Me: You better fucking not-
Windows: Installing update 1 of 893...

My laptop is retarded ...

HOLY SHIT! Pls don't!

..........

Hear the out cry

Windows updates😂

Let's update your update, but first let me update, so we can start updating the update

When Microsoft is really starting to get on your nerves.

I thought it was funny lol

I just wanted some water.

I still haven't updated my Windows laptop of new update. The reminder is annoying lol, I have clicked snooze button more than I do on my alarm

Please wait for Windows to finish fucking up your system before powering it off

Just when you think you could work now..

Windows 10 once again held my computer at ransom! When it finally came around after the update, all it really seem to do is place Edge back on my task bar. No... Bad Microsoft, I don't use or want Edge.

*call from boss on the weekend*

Boss: hey, we have an important demo the next week, can you make that xyz changes (not big deal)

Me: okay, gimme 15 minutes

~30 minutes later~

Boss:still waiting tho
Me: *sending this:

So Windows 10 Mobile seems like it wants to become true Windows and updates at night without any warning, illuminating my entire room

You have a presentation due in next 5 minutes?

Windows:- Okay, you know what? Fuck it. Let's update the PC.

Not sure how that fitted on my 500 GB SSD.

FUCK OFF WINDOWS. I NEED TO WORK BECAUSE MY DEADLINE IS COMING BUT NO, THE FUCKING WINDOWS DECIDED TO FUCKING UPDATE. I DON'T WANT AN UPDATE RIGHT NOW, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SOFTWARE. I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR 1 HOUR TO GET TO 35%. 🖕🖕🖕🖕

Am I a joke to you, windows?

Reboot to install Linux.
Windows update.
Fuck you.

Looks like Microsoft is really supporting open source with its fucked up updates making people consider switching to Linux

*knock knock*
SIR do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior the WINDOWS UPDATE?
"uhm no sorry I'm busy"
*sees a bulldozer in the background*
"what the .."
SIR just let him in your heart and feel his security patches drive your vulnerabilities away!!
"but the rendering hasn't finished ye.."
TOO LATE SIR, green light fellas let's do this
*bulldozer destroys my house and i wake up, sweating*

*hugs laptop*
"Oooh Ubuntu my baby I've missed you soo much!"
*wayland crashes*

Windows 10 asking me to update to Windows 10, are there no bounds?

So. My grandma (280 km away) gave me a call.
Grandma: "Hiii. I have a problem with my PC."
Me thinking "ok. Just an ordinary tech support call from granny..."
Me: "Ok. What's the issue?"
Grandma: "Windows tells me there is no space left on drive F, non-stop"
Me: "As far as I know there is no drive F on your PC"
Grandma: "Would you be so kind to have a look?"

I agreed to log on via team viewer.

To cut an already long story short, there was this April Update which sent a bug all around the globe.

This bug exposed an internal drive Windows uses to do its Windows stuff - whatever it is.

Regularly these kind of drives are hidden from users eyes...

I finally solved it by applying a rollback on Windows.
The update is gone and with the next update there will be a fix from May to hide this drives again.

Microsoft!
I do you scare grandparents all around the globe?!??

Every Windows update be like:

Please reconsider using Edge over _, it has Webkit now!

Please reconsider reenabling Cortana.

Please reconsider using Bing.

Please reconsider reenabling sharing all metrics with us.

100% True..
Windows update proves to be a headache sometimes.

Come on Mac... We already have industry legends like Windows updates, Gradle build etc.. you don't want to be part of that legend :(

Norway's largest cinema, busted in the act.

Fuck This
I have a demo tomorrow, my windows installation just decided to commit suicide by update
FUCK

That feeling when Windows wants to "Update and shut down", but it shuts down without updating!

My class just got cancelled because the professor's PC decided now's the perfect time to update!

Gotta love windows sometimes :D

Nobody expects the S̶p̶a̶n̶i̶s̶h̶ ̶I̶n̶q̶u̶i̶s̶i̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ Windows update

8:30 - get into office, boot windows
Windows: "Oh man, here's this update. If you're not doing it now, I will start in 15 minutes. No questions asked!"

9:45 - checking update status
Windows: "Well i'm nearly finished, just give me a sec..."

9:55 - whats's my pc doing
Windows: "Hey mate, I did it! I also restored those neat shortcuts to MS EDGE for you. Please use my browser"

10:00 - Well i can finally start working
Windows: "Yeah... you would. But i had to remove theese few applications, because they are not compatible anymore."

11:00 - Okay, installed all my stuff, did some coding. Time to test it. Lets boot up my VM.
Windows: "Oh so sorry mate. Not gonna show my network devices to Virtualbox anymore. Have fun reconfiguring your connections without them."

Fuck this fucking Windows 10!

The only reason we have Win10 on our machines, is because people in my office panicked the last day of the "free upgrade period" (and i was on holidays)...

Yesh I'll do a quick restart and then continue work. Ah, silly me.

It was a cold monday evening.
I was alone in my room.
Many hours of coding had passed.

Windows offered me two options:
"Shutdown"
"Shutdown with update"

Anoyed by the update but thankful for the first option i decided to go with number one.
Windows started its shuting down process when all of a sudden...

"Please don't turn off your machine! Your updates are being konfigured!

It was that evening...
That one speciall evening...
I decided...
To finally...
Do nothing about this problem and cry myself to sleep...

Windows
Hi update for your PC is available do you want to upgrade?
No
Ok your update will start in 10 minutes 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Microsoft, if I click the "Update and shut down" button it means I want you to update and shut down, not do a third of the update, shut down then wait for me to turn the computer back on for you to finish! Why can't it just do the update, reboot as necessary then shut down once it's all done?

When you have motivation for coding early in the morning but Windows would like to update your PC just after you have turned it on

To all the people complaining about a windows update breaking their computer.

A linux kernel update just broke my computer.

Cmon guys it's an important security update..

!WTF
Take a look at how big my SSD is(220GB).
Take a look at how much space I can remove with MS Disk Cleanup.

So there is a very very 👌 small risk that I will now erase the whole Windows Update File Server at Microsoft, lets see what's happens 🤞

aagh Windows

Windows updates be like...

Taxi is waiting outside. Have to print some files before I go. Already late. Windows update.

Windows update...

My wife is complaining that am spending too much time on devRant. I just told her, am coming here only when windows is updating :p ;)

Welcome to the Windows 10 Creators Update. Here is a UI glitch for your patience

> An update is available
> Installs update
> Update failed bc of corrupted system components
> Random bluescreens
> Sfc /scannow
> Can't scan because there is one pending repair
> Restart
> Does everything except repairing
> Recovery mode
> System integrity check failed
> Reset Windows
> Reset failed bc of "some" problems
> Media creation tool for bootable USB
> Tool fails to write image
> Media creation tool on another pc
> Successful
> Install Windows
> Missing drivers, cannot install
> Wipes hard drive

Fuck you Microsoft

Skynet is already here! They just call it windows update.... This shit can force itself through any number of times I say DISABLE AUTO FUCKING UPDATES.

So… I released v2.0.0 of devRant UWP a few weeks ago.
Then I got a lot of reports of problems on Windows 10 Mobile and older (than 1809) versions of Windows 10 on Desktop.
I decided to resubmit v2.0.0-beta16 to the store, and try to find the issue in the update… I didn't find it.
The code seems the same as the working version (at least the part I try to test is 100% equal).

So it seems I fucked up the vs project.

This means that to find the issue I can spend weeks to search it over and over inside the latest project (using shitty emulators of older Windows 10 builds to debug it), or I could just restore it to the old v2.0.0-beta16 (released in august) and implement again every single new feature and fix (something like 5 new features, dozens of improvements, changes and bug fixes).

In any case, this will require a lot of time (which I don't have at this moment).
I'm really sorry for this inconvenience, I know some of you use my client daily (~3.000 users I guess), I'm really glad someone likes it, and thanks a lot for the awesome reviews and feedback, but stable v2 (v2.1.0 at this point) will be available not earlier than in February.

Probably some of you have already download v2.0.0 while it was available in the store, and maybe it works on your device (please let me know in the comments below if you did, how is it going, and also if you like the new features and improvements).

After this epic fail, and more than 1 year (way too much) of v2 public beta, I want to throw the current project in the trash, and start it from scratch.
Which means I will start to work on v3 as soon as you will see v2.1.0 in the store, making it faster, lighter and with better support for the latest Windows 10 (Fluent Design and not) features, dropping the support for the very old UWP API.

Thanks for your attention.

Have a good day (or night)!

TIP:
To anyone and everyone ranting about the automatic restart of their Windows 10 system,
Settings > Update > Advanced Options > Notify to schedule restart (instead of Automatic).
Yes, it IS that simple.
God.

MOTHERFUCK. FUCKING WINDOWS DID IT AGAIN TABARNAK!

Today, I was hoping to study some DB optimization for an exam tomorrow. How foolish of me to think that MOTHERFUCKING FUCKTARD WINDOWS WOULD NOT CHOOSE THIS EXACT MOMENT TO INSTALL THE FUCKING ANNIVERSARY UPDATE. Because it di. It took 2 hours to insert it's fucking update in my ass. FUCK.

I don't know why devs would choose to work for the devil, but for those who did create this update system, I HOPE YOU STEP ON LEGO BRICKS AND THAT YOUR AUDIO IS ALWAYS OUT OF SYNC WITH YOU VIDEO ON NETFLIX.

Haha the cats expression says it all! 🐱😂💻

I had a bad dream a couple nights ago. It was Windows updating and it would never go to 100%.

Tired of your shitty OS, Microsoft!

Truth:
Windows updates have nevah annoyed me !
And
My computer never restarted by itself while i am working!

Is it because i am lucky or you guys dnt know update setting exists?

are you Windows Update? because you can literally fuck right off and die.

First day of my job 😂😂😂😂

I have a Windows machine sitting behind the TV, hooked to two controllers, set up as basically a console for the big TV. It doesn't get a lot of use, and mostly just churns out folding@home work units lately. It's connected by ethernet via a wired connection, and it has a local static IP for the sake of simplicity.

In January, Windows Update started throwing a nonspecific error and failing. After a couple weeks I decided to look up the error, and all the recommendations I found online said to make sure several critical services were running. I did, but it appeared to make no difference.

Yesterday, I finally engaged MS support. Priyank remoted into my machine and attempted all the steps I had already tried. I just let him go, so he could get through his checklist and get to the resolution steps. Well, his checklist began and ended with those steps, and he started rather insistently telling me that I had to reinstall, and that he had to do it for me. I told him no thank you, "I know how to reinstall windows, and I'll do it when I'm ready."

In his investigation though, I did notice that he opened MS Edge and tried to load Bing to search for something. But Edge had no connection. No pages would load. I didn't take any special notice of it at the time though, because of the argument I was having with him about reinstalling. And it was no great loss to me that Edge wasn't working, because that was literally the first time it'd ever been launched on that computer.

We got off the phone and I gave him top marks in the CS survey that was sent, as it appeared there was nothing he could do. It wasn't until a couple hours later that I remembered the connectivity problem. I went back and checked again. Edge couldn't load anything. Firefox, the ping command, Steam, Vivaldi, parsec and RDP all worked fine. The Windows Store couldn't connect either. That was when it occurred to me that its was likely that Windows Update was just unable to reach the internet.

As I have no problem whatsoever with MS services being unable to call home, I began trying to set up an on-demand proxy for use when I want to update, and I noticed that when I fill out the proxy details in Internet Options, or in Windows 10's more windows10-ish UI for a system proxy, the "save" button didn't respond to clicks. So I looked that problem up, and saw that it depends on a service called WinHttpAutoProxySvc, which I found itself depends on something called IP Helper, which led me to the root cause of all my issues: IP Helper now depends on the DHCP Client service, which I have explicitly disabled on non-wifi Windows installs since the '90s.

Just to see, I re-enabled DHCP Client, and boom! Everything came back on. Edge, the MS Store, and Windows Update all worked. So I updated, went through a couple reboots-- because that's the name of the game with windows update --and had a fully updated machine.

It occurred to me then that this is probably how MS sends all its spy data too, and since the things I actually use work just fine, I disabled DHCP Client again. I figure that's easier than navigating an intentionally annoying menu tree of privacy options that changes and resets with every major update.

But holy shit, microsoft! How can you hinge the entire system's OS connectivity on something that not everybody uses?

Ok, I’m over windows. Done with it.

I have been a long time windows, I’ve used most versions since 3.11, and have used Linux for a few years on the side (not as a daily but have needed it for work and servers) but with yesterday’s update, not only have I lost audio for the countless time again, as far as Windows is concerned there’s nothing fucking wrong with it, besides the lack of sound and all.

Drivers are reinstalled, deleted and reinstalled, redownloaded from manufacturer, different drivers installed.
Ran a system restore back to before the update and just dropped the hdd into another laptop (it’s identical model) and still no fucking audio (to exclude the audio chip as failing)

So fuck it, I’m spending my weekend finding a distro that will work, I’m fucking done!

Today a few friends got together and built my gfs new computer. I just watched because.... I'm a hardware n00b :p

Anyways, it took them about 2 hours building all the stuff together and now we're done installing Windows from via disc. The problem is, it's 2015 windows. So we're updating.
And it already takes more time to update windows than building the actual computer.

Nice!

(Btw that's me in the background, super [not] comfy codepen-ing)

Today Windows notified me that I can update to the new Spring Creators Update. It didn't just start updating without my permission, which looking back should have been the first red flag. An hour later I started the update and left for classes for a few hours.

I came home and I was shocked. It updated successfully, everything was working fine, no apps were missing. I thought something must've went wrong, and just to make sure it updated correctly, I tried booting Linux and it booted without a problem. I'm currently on the phone with MS support to resolve these issues. The update must be broken, I can't see any other explanation. /s

But for real now. Windows isn't designed just to annoy you. Yes, it will update without your permission, but only if you've postponed it for weeks. I'm using systemd-boot as my Linux bootloader and Windows updates don't seem to affect it in any way, maybe it's something to do with GRUB. I've never seen Windows uninstall anything during update.

Yes, Windows 10 isn't perfect and has some bugs, but that's what updates are for. You know, the same updates you refuse to install. And whether you like it or not, Win10 is here to stay, especially since it has almost no competition for desktop use.

So... People até talking about windows update crash??
Omg....
It crashed on me after updating... I was late to bed so just pressed the doom button (power off)... Because I was coming on vacation next morning...
Still thinking about what's expecting me after I return

Services > Windows Update > Disabled > Apply > OK

Am I the only one who never got fucked over by windows update? 😕

I can't play Overwatch because Windows 10 update is taking forever :(

I just spent 15 minutes trying to figure out why my school WiFi was so slow. Turns out, windows was downloading an update, ON HIGHEST FUCKING PRIORITY. Fuck you windows

*BSOD appears
*PC Restarts
*Windows updating (oh shit)
*Windows taking forever to finish update
*Me getting angry
*Me press Enter with Anger (while windows updating..)
*Login Screen appears immediately

Oh ok.. wish I knew that from the beginning..
or it's coincidence.. 🤔🤔

Whatever.. *Opens Android Studio*

Call me a spoiled Linux kid but FUCK WINDOWS UPDATE!!
It's not even the shitty deployment cycle that they have for their updates, the real cancer is the fucking update app.
First off, if you fucking piece of shit already have the audacity to load gigabytes of updates over my 0.8mbit/s connection in the background, without my goddamn consent, at least let me PAUSE the fucking download!!! I don't see why the fuck you have to block my connection, and therefore me, from the most basic things like visiting a fucking website for more than a FUCKING HOUR to load useless updates, YOU PIECE OF BLOODSTAINED SHIT, I GOT SHIT TO DO.
And it doesn't stop there, noooo: then you even have the bloody fucking nerve to FORCE ME TO INSTANTLY RESTART AND SIT THROUGH YOUR FUCKING 40 MINUTE UPDATE PROCESS WHILE IM TRYING TO WORK.. WITHOUT THE ABILIT TO DELAY THE UPDATE!!! What the fuuuck?!

It is seldom that I am this 👌 close to just dd'ing /dev/null to my windows partition. Fuck you!!

goddammit Microsoft, why do I have to remove your fkking internet explorer icon and store icon after every update! noo I don't want it in my bar. gtfo! leave my settings as they were! How hard can it be? Think: does this fuck up someone s personal settings? if yes , DON'T DO IT.

4x4ghz CPU, 16gb of RAM, 100mbps downstream and 1tb ssd... and it took windows only 2 hours and 4 restarts to install an update...WTF

Windows 10 "update" just broke itself... I can't wait for game companies to start building more games for Linux so I don't have to spend my free time fixing my spywar... I mean operating system

Windows Update.

Enough said 😤

P.S. been 2 hours already 😭

Windows 10 now let's you step through a options menu, which shows automatically after the new update, to select which kind of tracking you want to have. This makes it way more transparent for not tech savy people:)

Everything was ready before you fucking wanted to update...

So Microsoft, you tell me that there is a known bug, if you have Windows 10 with the newest update installed on a SSD and Apps running on another hard drive?! And this bugs causes random freezes of the whole PC from time to time?

WHAT THE FUCK?!

It is a common setup nowadays to have a SSD with windows 10 and software on other hard drives and you didn't care to check it before releasing the update? Which I HAVE to download and install?

FUCK YOU MICROSOFT!

So you want to write some notes on your surface pro 3...

Windows 10: UPDATE TIME!

Me after two minutes:

Everybody is complaining about the new MacBook Pro... But what's the alternative??? Just started my fucking company notebook and having the same status for 10 minutes now:

Hey, I´m through with the Win10 update.
That was fast. And no problems! Everything seems to be working.

Wait...
Android SDK not found...
Java not found ...
Seems all my environment variables are gone.
Even better all the standard variables are wrong too.
My Home Drive is now "H:" ?
What the hell?

Windows: would you like to update?
Me: no not rn I'm currently on battery and traveling, let me just quickly restart.
Windows: Okay I'll install the latest updates for you.
Me: oh FFS

Install Windows 10?

Windows decides to download Creative update.
I restart the computer wait for the update to finish.
I see the login screen.
I log in, then windows says:
"Hi, we have an update for you this might take a few minutes!"

What the serious fuck windows? Did you need me to login so that you can waste more of my time?

Just when you're about to test your code and this happens

Every damn time I turn on my laptop I spend 15 mins just closing auto update shit from windows 10 and office
Dear Microsoft I have a 2Mbit line not 100000GB fiber optics, auto update cripples my internet 😒

Just realized Windows 10 update "Restart Now" button doesn't have a confirmation/cancel screen unlike the normal power options.
Learned it the hard way when I just wanted to change the time it restarts and clicked restart now by accident.
Goes to show how forced these updates are .-.

Windows always sucks.

Windows asks to update. I say no and 10min later i get this casual update continuing.

Glad i have a say in life

So excited! My brand new drive finally shows up in the mail today so I naturally want to install it right away.

Power down, install drive, power up.

Windows decided now is the perfect time for an update! 30 minutes and counting....on 84%....for 30 minutes....

FML

Update?! Fuck windows.

While playing Tower Unite, i spammed my spacebar.
Windows opened a window that i confirmed that something by spamming my spacebar.

It's a stupid windows 7 update.
Thank's windows..........

I hate windows.
I hate windows update.
I hate windows update rebooting my PC and not reopen everything from last session.
I hate windows update trying to install updates while running from battery in power save mode.
I hate windows not being able to figure out where to put windows on dual head setup.
I hate developing in windows environment.

Man I'm glad that I use windows at home only for gaming.
Man I'm glad that I can choose a non-windows PC on my new workplace.

I sometimes feel Windows keeps on pushing useless updates, just to mess with the users. Change a single line of code (or rather just add a comment) and push the entire module as new.

How can it be everytime I boot on my windows device, it has an update.

EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. TIME.

Same goes for you steam.

Hmm.. who really does that? Oh wait..

how lovely it is to wait for this

FFFUUUU!!!
Damn Windows april update!
After a LOT of problems with drivers, bluetooth, etc. it even partially corrupted the font of a program, the console shows a list of data from a medical image database so i had a micro heart attack when i first saw this tinking the database was corrupted (i was checking out a problem)!
I bet it's the "smart" font re-sizing!!!

Okay then, everything's fine, I'm sure this is normal... Windows went to sleep mode while applying an update.

Windows keeps uninstalling touchpad drivers after update and tells that i didn't need them, well touchpad is not working after uninstalling drivers you fuck.

In the very rare occasion that I boot into windows instead of linux is when I want to use Photoshop to edit some photos - usually works fine. USUALLY. I now see why everyone complains about windows updates

I just updated Windows 😥

Windows Update..

1803 I think..

Lost my graphic drivers again..

Great, 4 monitors and only one is working !

Serious trust issues...!!

I just wanted to turn off my throw it in my backpack and go home. But freaking Windows has just decided that this is a great time for an update 😡

First day i developed with Windows.. Thank you Microsoft

So windows decided to be the cunt it is once again!
I turned my windows to sleep cause I was gonna have dinner and I don't fucking know what the fuck windows think "sleep" is but after around 10 minutes a hear a sound of a device getting unplugged (I use an external mouse)
Fuck! Fucking shit, you dimwit, you decided to perform a goddamn update? An update? Seriously? Are you fucking kidding me, I did an update around a week or two ago! And my laptop was on sleep for a motherfucking reason! All my tabs...all those fucking tabs and programs
How the fuck can you update when I only kept it in sleep you shitnugget?!
What kind of asshole does that? I had unsaved files man
And now it restarted twice and no, this motherfucking cunt couldn't even apply the updates; just fucking rolled back!

me: alright let me print this now.

*goes downstairs*

printer: *on the display* ... Printing ...
printer: *on the display* ... Printing ...
printer: *on the display* ... Printing ...

*no paper to be seen*

me: why isn't this working?

*checks computer upstairs.*

computer: *popup* We have an update scheduled for 17:40, we can install it then or, if you like, now.

me: oh, ok.

Windows update is karma

Yesterday a windows update somehow managed to corrupt my arch linux partition and I eventually had to spend the whole day recovering what was left because I needed it for today. Well... yesterday was also my girlfriends birthday..

Of course there's one of these in the airport.

Why do they even use Windows for just a monitor I will never understand...

Not a rant. But about Windows 10, because some asked "why are there only rants about it?"

The day before yesterday: When switching off my PC, I noticed the shutdown options were "Update and restart" and "Update and shutdown". I chose the latter and went to bed.
Yesterday: I switched on my PC, Windows takes some extra seconds at "Installing updates, 99% done" and... I'm on my desktop. All is well. As unspectacular as it can get.

For me, that is every update experience since Windows 7, ever.

Ok, so many people rant about windows update. It can fuck up things, starts unexpectedly (after 100 warnings and messages letting you choose when but ok) and it takes too long to update.

I use Windows daily so I update regularly and never takes more than 5 mins. 20 when its a major update twice a year. So let's talk about Linux.

Yesterday I wanted to try out .net core on Linux so I booted my antergos vm to do it. TLDR: Didn't do shut because, surprise, Linux updates.

So apparently I downloaded the wrong version of visual studio code. Uninstall and install the right one then. Nope, can't do that. Some dependency must be updated. That dependency is on the highest version on the AUR, I have to get a different one. Ok, no problem. But I can install the other because uninstalling the original breaks more dependencies. Well fuck then.

So I decided I'd do a full system update with pacman, shouldn't take long. 1.6gb worth of update. I have 200mb download so it should be fast right? Well, I had to wait a couple of hours.

So I couldn't do anything on my afternoon because of Linux updates. That's an original rant isn't it?

And before the comments get here, yeah I know it's arch, it's difficult and all that. This isn't about being hard to do. It's just annoying and making me lose time.

Fucking Windows.

Before everyone starts saying that I should switch to Linux, I prefer Windows as my primary OS and Linux as a secondary OS.

Anyways, I updated my Windows a few days ago and ever since, instead of fucking shutting down it acts like it goes into hibernation. If I tell you to shut down, that means to shut down, not save everything and reopen everything when I turn you back on.

Besides that, why the fuck is it trying to install some Canon printer driver, that I don't even have! Thus leading it to fail every god time I turn off my PC, and then it says "Updates failed to install."

Seriously, had no problem with Windows until a few days ago. Simple terms, fuck Microsoft right now.

“You’ve turned on laptop just to check if the screen works? I hope you got some time for Windows Updates”

Windows is updating
Windows is undoing changes
For 2 fucking hours. "Thank you" Microsoft.

Me - sits down to code
Windows - need to install small update
Me - skip
Windows - HELL NO UPDATE
6 hours later.......
Update faild.

Help, please :D
My girlfriend came to visit me and now her laptop is bricked (boot loop). She has the WIP of fall creators.

Oh for fuck's sake window...

What do we say to Java updates?
Not Today.

"Windows update can't install updates because of the following programs:
-VMWare 15.0
Please uninstall or update the program"

Wtf? I had to uninstall it, fortunately I didn't use it anymore.

"UPDATE IS COMING"

Multi stage updates? when did this happen

Coding along, frustrated already, need to restart computer to test something.

Of course im running on Windows and then I realize I have no restart opinion, the only one that exists is "update and restart"

*sigh*

Fed up with my windows becoming too slow, I decided to go for a fresh start.

Now it's stuck here from past 1 hour

- New Windows installation
- Decides to update windows
- 5 hour leater:
- Still updating: 2/583727
- Thinks Linux is better
- Stay in front of my computer waiting for the update to finish

My Win 10 stopped updating 2 months ago. "Windows update database error" it says. No fix worked, the only thing to do (according to Microsoft assistance) is to reinstall the whole system. Only because i clicked on "postpone" to the last one.

I really miss Windows 7...

Installing the new Windows 10 April 2018 Update SDK... wish me luck.

So I'm basically my family's IT guy, as you'd expect, but this is just pulling my hairs.

My mom's laptop has a weird error message saying something about a corrupt windows update database.

Not wanting to mess the system up, I decided to factory reset the computer and see if that helped.

During the factory reset, windows tells me that it can't delete all files, and that another factory reset might be in order.

Alright, I don't think any more of it and proceed to setup the account on the computer, everything works fine.

Next day I decide to run windows update on it just to see if everything works as it should, the computer restarts and immediately BSoDs on me. Upon reboot the same error from before the system reset pops up again, and I'm back to square one.

Fuck windows and all its constant issues

So yesterday, after standing an hour in line at college to pay for a reexamination, I got sent home along with 20 other people. The reason? The pc with the student database had to update windows.

Just tried to install the Windows 10 anniversary update, got 26% done did a reboot and I got a black screen and my laptop doing literally nothing. A couple of resets later, "Windows is restoring a previous version" at least they made sure it can restore a previous version.

Windows at it again .. and it failed to install

Is Windows programmed to update as soon as you're done for the day?!? 🤔😫

Windows: restarting in 10 seconds

Me: probably just a bug or something like that *click OK button*

10 seconds later

Me: it's no a bug! IT'S NOT A BUG! let me save my stuff

(I don't now why windows did that it made some kind of update without warning except for the 10 seconds and then I had some problem s like I couldn't connect to a SQL server and the computer was super slow)

Windows Update prompted me to install the 1809 update for Windows 10 recently.

I left the machine for a while and came back to find it frozen at a completely blank screen.

It eventually restarted...and got stuck in a continual loop where the Windows logo would flash for a second and then instantly restart again.

The restart occurred so early in the boot process that I couldn’t even get it into recovery mode or do anything with it to fix it.

So I had no choice but to reinstall Windows from scratch and reinstall and restore all my software and files. Took about 7 hours.

Not happy!

To all those whining about sudden windows 10 update, or don't want to update their windows, please go to
Administrative tools->services->Disable windows update.
Enough of blue screens in my devRant feed.

What's up with the long windows update?
It's been 3 hours now :/

Here we go again...
Tried to postpone it... Windows disagreed

Alrighty, saturday morning rant time!

I just recieved a mail from one of my not-so-much-loved colleagues.

Now Background first: I work in IT-Support. We provide services for other companies. One of those services is monitoring servers and clients for various things. I recently took over the project (was assigned to do it) and restructured everything, wrote new scripts to test more stuff, successfully tested it internally and rolled it out over the last 2 weeks.

Now one of these scripts hooks into the Windows Update API and looks at the update history. It filters for known Windows Update Agent strings (UpdateOrchestrator, AutomaticUpdates and AutomaticUpdatesWuApp in case you also want to do something like this) and then looks for installation errors over the last 24 hours and wherever there have even been any successful updates over the last one and a half months.

Back to that mail.

My colleague sent me this lovely mail about a ticket i opened about his customers servers beeing all out-of-date on updates.

"This is all wrong, everything's fine. I disabled the checks."

...

It's on bitch.

So i logged on to my work PC via TeamViewer, opened my script, connected to the customer and was ready to debug the shit out of my script, knowing i probably won't even need to.

I looked at the update history via Windows Update itself and behold: 1st April. That's almost 50 days in the past.

So the script works, go figure.

Great, so search for new Updates then.
>None found.

Hm. What could it be? Did my super special colleague forget to care about his very special totally-needs-WSUS-customer WSUS again?

Yup.

Online-Search finds a ton of new Updates.

Screenshot, write pissed mail to colleague, re-enable checks, breakfast.

*turns on pc*
"Updating"
"Turning off"
*turns on pc* ._.

I see a lot of rants about Linux dual boot with Windows and Windows update fucks up grub. So I bought a new ssd and reinstalled Linux, but damn.. its always a lot of work to make everything work again. Every time I still learn new things and I don't have to be afraid anymore after Windows update

Damn, and where is the "never" option? (p.s. This is a list of dates if it's not so obvious :))

Why do I always assume it'll be a quick update...

"Dear Windows staff,

To think a fatal error screen can be shown beautifully is likeable.
To add in a QR code to be redirected to some assistance is likeable.
But like things that are likeable, THEY DON'T NEED TO BE REGULARLY SHOVED TO THE FACE !

Sincerest regards,
One who desperately wants to shutdown Windows Update once and for all.

Pressed update and shutdown which lead to a BSOD
And now the windows won't boot.
Well played windows

New, windows update

I wake up to a mail saying my website is down. I visit my website and for some reason i get a 403 all of a sudden.
I get out of bed, turn on my pc, go do my stuff. When im done, it turns out Windows strikes once again!

another windows 10 FORCE UPDATE just messed up my whole system. My mouse is not working properly, every app is become unresponsive within a few minutes, every window is needing life time to load, every folder is needing lifetime to navigate, Android Studio is taking hours to fire up. Why Microsoft!! WHY!!!???

So, whenever I delay windows 10 update restart a few times, things start breaking. Wifi doesn't work, 100% cpu, ram or mem usage, sound problems etc. And all this goes away once I submit my soul and update. I'm sick of this shit 😡. Today I got a BSOD after which it updated and things seem fine FOR NOW.
Does this happen to other Win 10 users?

99% disk usage? Ah, Windows is updating. Guess I'll just go ahead and get nothing done then. Oh, devRant!

I get home today and my wife says:

"Just finished some chores and really want to play stardew valley, but the computer has been updating for an hour!"

Windows 10 anniversary update strikes again.

So, I had a Windows update left (I'm not a fan of windows but updates are important!)
Aaaaand it failed. And this error tells me that I am trying to install Windows (which is not the case). Loving it 😋

I don't know about alcohol , but this windows update crap is going to give me cancer one day 😠

I hate this screen...... Unfortunately I cannot switch to Linux because I need visual studio for my school project which is a xamarin project.

Every windows update makes me feel like buying a mac

Windows update. Maybe i did something wrong but it behaves okay for me.

I've heard that if you manually check for updates you become a beta tester for ms, is that right?

When windows update breaks external audio card 😫

Years ago, Microsoft didn't update your Windows without asking!

Whenever i want to chill out, play games and movies the computer is very supportive
"Here ya go fella ooo 20 chrome tabs on a conspiracy? Sure why not" but i swear to god the moment i want to be productive,

"What's that? Android studio? Why don't i triple the normal loading time, freeze for 1absolutely no reason ooo u wanna run emulator with that? Lol okay sweetie good luck"
or or
"Sir do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, the WINDOWS UPDATE? Oh no you can't shut the door your house is practically OURS"

Guys i feel my computer is sentient. It doesn't want me getting too smart for ..reasons? Does anyone else feel the same way about their machine? I hope its not too late to start a revolution yet

"I love Windows 10's unexpected critical update timings" - Said no one EVER!!!!

When windows decides to force you to update when shutting down, like no problem, not like I have a fucking deadline or anything.

only took about 50 millennia, but i finally have windows 1903 on my work laptop... without exaggeration, took about 25 hours over three days to update, with two failures
someone end my existence, please and thank you

Just upgraded to a pending windows update.

Worst decision of my life.

#fml

My friends and I decided to have a match of HOMM6

So, I booted in Windows after almost 3 months and the first thing that it does is run into an update.

IT RESTARTED WITHOUT MY PERMISSION

Had to wait nearly 1 hour until the update finished

My friends started without me X(

FUCK YOU WINDOWS

I don't generally agree with the death sentence, but maaaybe it should be allowed specifically for the person who created the current iteration of Windows Update. Just got woken up by a video playing on my computer, which happened because Windows fucking Update thought it was a good time to reboot for no reason.

So, you have some coffee, make up your mind, and sit down to begin the project you need to submit the next day.

You fire up the machine and bam! Windows takes it's April update - "Do not turn off your PC", and a fucking rotation of evil dots on the screen for eternity.

And it goes on and on, on and on, till you have lost all mood for work.

Fall Creators Update did some changes to Bash on Windows, first they renamed it to WSL(Windows Subsystem for Linux) and now you can have multiple distros on it.

They also added it to Windows Server.

I have no idea why people would use Windows Server, but I guess that if you are forced to use it, you can now use Linux utilities on it, so woot? I guess.

I've disabled automatic updates on windows 10 long time back. Still they download and updates every time.

Do they have some hidden settings that only can be disabled by a non-linux user?

Holy shit windows update just jumped from 51% to 45%

I may be partly responsible for this taking legit two hours by not having an ssd but damn these take long

Windows updates are the most annoying!!!

The feeling of joy when you really have to finish something and a automated windows update deletes your IDE because windows assumes it isn't compatible with the new update.

Roses are red, I ride on my scooter. There is a new update to your Windows computer.

What the hell Windows !!!
I go for a 15 minutes break, and you decide to close everything and make an update??

Let me do my job you sob.

Basically.

So I actually got an update for my PC at work, proposing me to postpone it or to do it later. I postpone it to one hour later, since I'll be buying food for lunch, it can update and reboot.

When I came back from lunch, laptop is asking me to postpone or do the update right now. So I sigh because the laptop just stayed locked without doing anything, and ask it to do the update in 4 hours, when I'll be leaving.

2 minutes later, it forces me to update with the "30 min left before rebooting", so I sigh again, closes everything and reboot.

Since it's a Windows, it's slow on booting by definition. Plus launching Slack, Eclipse, Firefox, VLC. Takes time. Plus launching the server. +1000 files to compile then deploying.

I lost 20 minutes because of that edgy bitch called "update".

First allocate all day..

W10 Update time !

Then, watch as your multi-monitor setup loses its drivers and only 2 of your 4 monitors are working..

Meanwhile, still not done all the updates, and CPU is running wild doing some kind of indexing..

Joyful..

A bit like playing wack a mole as you try and guess which monitor Windows is going to boot to this time around..

Oh look, its gone for the portrait one, this time in landscape mode, good thing I can tilt my head enough..

Also a good thing I have one of those icon position restore apps, or they would be all over the place again once I get things back to where they should be..

Have you done your updates . . .