Got in trouble today during a Data integrity meeting, everyone kept talking about data massaging. "Massage this data", "massage that data table", "insert massaged data".

Finally I just blurted out, "yeah massage it all you want but how do I get a data happy ending?"

I thought it was hilarious. The other DBA and backend devs thought it was jokes, my manager... Not so much.

Apparently, I need to keep "thoughts and comments about data happy endings to myself moving forward".

Okay. 😆😆

Pro tip. How to cut down on those pesky support emails? Break the only email link in your app I can find.

Genius.

When developers have no idea what the fundamental concepts of semantic html is and a solid grasp of Accessibility Design Patterns and just stuff improperly used aria tags everywhere - aka - the output of every enterprise CMS I come across **cough** Sitecore **cough** but it's apparently WCAG 2.0 "friendly". 😪😪 Do you even aria tags bro?!

Frontend JS devs - did you take the plunge into Typescript?

I've done some reading and a simple intro course but I'm still on the fence, what pushed you over the edge to adopt it?

If you don't know how to git clone, can you even call yourself a developer?

No. Just, no.

Womp womp...

After fixing content and workbox issues for 5 hours today in Sitecore, a hot trash heap of a CMS, I actually caught myself looking forward to using WordPress later. Yeah, I just said that, let that sink in.

Sitecore 8.1 is frustrating to say the least.

Installed a new elevator system. Said it would be fast and amazing....

Errors. All the errors.

Am I nice, should I share with the team...? 😅😅

What's your team's best practice when using JIRA (on premises or cloud) and VSTS or GitHub?

Who manages issues/tickets and are they duplicated in both locations? Is one for PM only and other for Devs??

We have both tools and I'm trying to figure out a workflow that doesn't kill devs and PMs.

We have Office 365 so I heavily use MS Flow to help (Jira bug turns into vsts work item) etc, but any insight from anyone who has a similar setup would be appreciated!

Fellow front end coworker got asked via email today to "capitalize the '2019' in the headline".

Still laughing over this.

!rant

Woot, that moment your free hosting company sends ya some swag. Netlify, stay awesome.

... Hey there Heroku, how you doin'?

Ok, if your going to let me type a message before you connect to the chat session, don't make enter fucking send the message, all I wanted was a new line. Ugh.

Hmm. In the cooking section you say...

"Always code as if the next developer to look at this knows where you live."

Noticed another fellow dev vapes. Cool.

"I got Sparkling Grape, what flavour do you got?"

"Its...Azure Cloud...haha"

Haha ... still didn't tell me the flavour though...

Just replaced a mess of a 6 row, 6 column grid done using bootstrap with 4 lines of CSS3 grid layout (shorthand).

Why do we even need full Bootstrap when ya got Grid and flexbox now? Oh right, .btn colours... 😖😫😭

A dev can dream, right...?

When you have so many projects you need your buddy to send you the good stuff all the way from America.

That moment when you realize you forgot your headphones. 😭😭

Can't drown out co-workers. Can't jam to awesome beats.

It's gonna be a long Monday.

Front-end JavaScript Frameworks.

Client asks for a sponsorship page that has rows of logos, 6 rows total. "Okay."

They want the logos at the top to be bigger than the ones below. "Sure."

They want the logos to decrease in size by 20% per row. "But there are 6 rows...?"

"Our agreement says 20% difference between each sponsor tier. Can you do it?"

"Okay...but, I don't think you want 20%..."

"Hey, why can't we see any logos on the bottom row..."

😤😤😤

!rant

If you haven't checked it out yet, all devs need Devdocs.io + Station

Hands down the most useful resources I've ever come across.

This one site and tool saves me so many chrome tabs it's worth its weight in gold.

Combined with Station (getstation.com) I've cut my RAM usage down by 1/3 overall.

When you have PS CC2018 and Visual Studio 2017 running on a netbook it's helpful to squeeze every little bit.

!rant

Snuck in my snazzy new mouse pad at work... No one has noticed yet. Hehehe.

Had our 3rd party vendor finally check their code into our github. Great.

Checking the recent commits, they only add changed .CSS files. Hmm..odd.

We use less so why did they update the compiled CSS file...? Did they forget to checkin the Less changes...?

Nope. Backend sitecore developer updated the bundled, minified CSS files and checked those in along with the fucking node_modules folder.

Didn't even know what LESS is.

The vendors PM swears the frontend developer did the changes. I don't know what's worse.

Scope creep.

Stopping scope creep when it rears its goddamn ugly head.

I kinda want project managers to recite "The Riflemans Creed" but replace rifle with the project scope. So they realize how important sticking to that scope is.

"This is my project. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My scope is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my projects' scope is useless. Without the project scope, I am useless...."

Goddamn livid right now.

Our 3rd party Vendor developers' couldn't figure out how to check-in their goddamn code to our GitHub branch so they just sent our PM a zip file via email containing the project with the node modules folder too!!

Wtf.

Why are we even giving them a dollar. 😤😲

Got our snazzy new HP Elitebooks from IT. Nice lil laptops.

Guess how many apps they installed for us off the list of "Applications Devs Need" that was submitted with the original request that they asked us to provide.

Goddamn 0. 0 Apps installed. ”Instead here is admin access, install what you want.”

Being a PC guy I don't mind setting up a new environment but things like Office365 and Adobe CC could of been installed for me, I don't have the licence info offhand so now I gotta bug IT again and why ask for a list if your not going to install any of them?? Ugh. I don't have time to sit here while Adobe installs the whole suite....

/rant

What's the first thing you install on your new PC? I find I grab ConEMU first.

Oh noes, running out of dev snacks!

What's your fav dev snack when coding?

Just got chewed out because someone couldn't see the latest interface changes on the site...

*Walked over to their desk*

Me: "Did you clear your browser's cache?"

Them: "Oh, what does my online banking have to do with the updates?"

Me: *sigh* 😬😬