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Search - "ux fail"
I recently joined the dark side - an agile consulting company (why and how is a long story). The first client I was assigned to was an international bank. The client wanted a web portal, that was at its core, just a massive web form for their users to perform data entry.
My company pitched and won the project even though they didn't have a single developer on their bench. The entire project team (including myself) was fast tracked through interviews and hired very rapidly so that they could staff the project (a fact I found out months later).
Although I had ~8 years of systems programming experience, my entire web development experience amounted to 12 weeks (a part time web dev course) just before I got hired.
I introduce to you, my team ...
Scrum Master. 12 years experience on paper.
Rote memorised the agile manifesto and scrum textbooks. He constantly went “We should do X instead of (practical thing) Y, because X is the agile way.” Easily pressured by the client to include ridiculous (real time chat in a form filling webpage), and sometimes near impossible features (undo at the keystroke level). He would just nag at the devs until someone mumbled ‘yes' just so that he would stfu and go away.
UX Designer. 3 years experience on paper ... as business analyst.
Zero professional experience in UX. Can’t use design tools like AI / photoshop. All he has is 10 weeks of UX bootcamp and a massive chip on his shoulder. The client wanted a web form, he designed a monstrosity that included several custom components that just HAD to be put in, because UX. When we asked for clarification the reply was a usually condescending “you guys don’t understand UX, just do <insert unhandled edge case>, this is intended."
Developer - PHD in his first job.
Invents programming puzzles to solve where there are none. The user story asked for a upload file button. He implemented a queue system that made use of custom metadata to detect file extensions, file size, and other attributes, so that he could determine which file to synchronously upload first.
Developer - Bootlicker. 5 years experience on paper.
He tried to ingratiate himself with the management from day 1. He also writes code I would fire interns and fail students for. His very first PR corrupted the database. The most recent one didn’t even compile.
Developer - Millennial fratboy with a business degree. 8 years experience on paper.
His entire knowledge of programming amounted to a single data structures class he took on Coursera. Claims that’s all he needs. His PRs was a single 4000+ line files, of which 3500+ failed the linter, had numerous bugs / console warnings / compile warnings, and implemented 60% of functionality requested in the user story. Also forget about getting his attention whenever one of the pretty secretaries walked by. He would leap out of his seat and waltz off to flirt.
Developer - Brooding loner. 6 years experience on paper.
His code works. It runs, in exponential time. Simply ignores you when you attempt to ask.
Developer - Agile fullstack developer extraordinaire. 8 years experience on paper.
Insists on doing the absolute minimum required in the user story, because more would be a waste. Does not believe in thinking ahead for edge conditions because it isn’t in the story. Every single PR is a hack around existing code. Sometimes he hacks a hack that was initially hacked by him. No one understands the components he maintains.
Developer - Team lead. 10 years of programming experience on paper.
Writes spaghetti code with if/else blocks nested 6 levels deep. When asked "how does this work ?”, the answer “I don’t know the details, but hey it works!”. Assigned as the team lead as he had the most experience on paper. Tries organise technical discussions during which he speaks absolute gibberish that either make no sense, or are complete misunderstandings of how our system actually works.
The last 2 guys are actually highly regarded by my company and are several pay grades above me. The rest were hired because my company was desperate to staff the project.
There are a 3 more guys I didn’t mention. The 4 of us literally carried the project. The codebase is ugly as hell because the others merge in each others crap. We have no unit tests, and It’s near impossible to start because of the quality of the code. But this junk works, and was deployed to production. Today is it actually hailed as a success story.
All these 3 guys have quit. 2 of them quit without a job. 1 found a new and better gig.
I’m still here because I need the money. There’s a tsunami of trash code waiting to fail in production, and I’m the only one left holding the fort.
Why am I surrounded by morons?
Why are these retards paid more than me?
Why are they so proud when all they produce is trash?
How on earth are they still hired?
And yeah, FML.7
After a painstakingly slow conversion of a VM virtual hd, I got informed with this.
My heart skipped a beat seeing that icon.4
Designer (to the client): Yes it'll be exactly like this mock up after I hand it over to the iOS developer.
Client: Awesome! Looking forward to it.
* Designer goes to developer *
Designer (to developer): Hey these are the new designs for the app, let me know if you have any questions, ok?
* 1 minute later *
* developer goes to designer *
Developer (to designer): How should error messages or notifications look like?
Designer: Oh we should just email those because it won't look good.
Developer: The fuck? And are you going to design this email service too?2
Wow... this is the perfect week for this topic.
Thursday, is the most fucked off I’ve ever been at work.
I’ll preface this story by saying that I won’t name names in the public domain to avoid anyone having something to use against me in court. But, I’m all for the freedom of information so please DM if you want to know who I’m talking about.
Yesterday I handed in my resignation, to the company that looked after me for my first 5 years out of university.
Thursday was my breaking point but to understand why I resigned you need a little back story.
I’m a developer for a corporate in a team of 10 or so.
The company that I work for is systemically incompetent and have shown me this without fail over the last 6 months.
For the last year we’ve had a brilliant contracted, AWS Certified developer who writes clean as hell hybrid mobile apps in Ion3, node, couch and a tonne of other up to the minute technologies. Shout out to Morpheus you legend, I know you’re here.
At its core my job as a developer is to develop and get a product into the end users hands.
Morpheus was taking some shit, and coming back to his desk angry as fuck over the last few months... as one of the more experienced devs and someone who gives a fuck I asked him what was up.
He told me, company want their mobile app that he’s developed on internal infrastructure... and that that wasn’t going to work.
Que a week of me validating his opinion, looking through his work and bringing myself up to speed.
I came to the conclusion that he’d done exactly what he was asked to, brilliant Work, clean code, great consideration to performance and UX in his design. He did really well. Crucially, the infrastructure proposed was self-contradicting, it wouldn’t work and if they tried to fudge it in it would barely fucking run.
So I told everyone I had the same opinion as him.
4 months of fucking arguing with internal PMs, managers and the project team go by... me and morpheus are told we’re not on the project.
The breaking point for me came last Wednesday, given no knowledge of the tech, some project fannies said Morpheus should be removed and his contract terminated.
I was up in fucking arms. He’d done everything really well, to see a fellow developer take shit for doing his job better than anyone else in [company] could was soul destroying.
That was the straw on the camels back. We don’t come to work to take shit for doing a good job. We don’t allow our superiors to give people shit in our team when they’re doing nothing but a good job. And you know what: the opinion of the person that knows what they’re talking about is worth 10 times that of the fools who don’t.
My manager told me to hold off, the person supposed to be supporting us told me to stand down. I told him I was going to get the app to the business lead because he fucking loves it and can tell us if there’s anything to change whilst architecture sorts out their outdated fucking ideas.
Stand down James. Do nothing. Don’t do your job. Don’t back Morpheus with his skills and abilities well beyond any of ours. Do nothing.
That was the deciding point for me, I said if Morpheus goes... I go... but then they continued their nonsense, so I’m going anyway.
I made the decision Thursday, and Friday had recruiters chomping at the bit to put the proper “senior” back in my title, and pay me what I’m worth.
The other issues that caused me to see this company in it’s true form:
- I raised a key security issue, documented it, and passed it over to the security team.
- they understood, and told the business users “we cannot use ArcGIS’ mobile apps, they don’t even pretend to be secure”
- the business users are still using the apps going into the GDPR because they don’t understand the ramifications of the decisions they’re making.
I noticed recently that [company] is completely unable to finish a project to time or budget... and that it’s always the developers put to blame.
I also noticed that middle management is in a constant state of flux with reorganisations because in truth the upper managers know they need to sack them.
For me though, it was that developers in [company], the people that know what they’re talking about; are never listened to.
Fuck being resigned to doing a shit job.
Fuck this company. On to one that can do it right.
Morpheus you beautiful bastard I know you’ll be off soon too but I also feel I’ve made a friend for life. “Private cloud” my arse.
Since making the decision Thursday I feel a lot more free, I have open job offers at places that do this well. I have a position of power in the company to demand what I need and get it. And I have the CEO and CTO’s ears perking up because their department is absolutely shocking.
Freedom is a wonderful feeling.13
Has anybody noticed some people's undying obsession with making their 2018 websites look like they're from 2001? Some of our clients INSIST on using site entry pop-ups, scrolling marquee text, and as many flashing buttons as possible on their sites. These are the type of people who think: "The number of buttons on my website directly correlates to the amount of money my site makes me. I want 12 buttons, all worded slightly differently, that all link to the same exact page. This will sell more of my product. From all of my experience in UX, I am positive that users will respond to a flashing neon colored button labeled "SAVE NOW!!!!!" Nevermind that your company employs professional UX Engineers. I know more than them."7
This is what happens when you make style more important than function.
Pop quiz: when you lift the handle, what temperature water do you expect to come out? (This isn’t a trick question; assume you have an awesome water heater with instant warm-up time)
“Hot,” you might say, because the “H” is pointed towards you and aligned with the faucet.
“Cold,” you might say, because the handle is turned in the direction of the “C”.
There wouldn’t be any ambiguity if the H/C markings were on an immobile part of the fixture so that the relative position of the handle made the answer obvious.
(If you instinctively answered “cold” then congrats this is the perfect faucet for you.)14
So I wanted to contact my TV service provider via online chat now in order to do that you need to put in your 9 digits ID number and has you can see in the picture someone thought of a fun way to do it, I'm at 24 wake me when I get to the millions11
Our UX guy today presented a prototype of a new UI where users can declare an order.
Under the categorie "measuring unit" used to give the specification of mass or volume. He gave the following options
- others (which would allow the user to input anything)
Wtf why do you give the user the option to input anything. So we had to explain to him what SI units are...14
Game Streaming is an absolute waste.
I'm glad to see that quite a lot of people are rightfully skeptical or downright opposed to it. But that didn't stop the major AAA game publishers announcing their own game streaming platforms at E3 this weekend, did it?
I fail to see any unique benefit that can't be solved with traditional hardware (either console or PC)
- Portability? The Nintendo Switch proved that dedicated consoles now have enough power to run great games both at home and on the go.
- Storage? You can get sizable microSD cards for pretty cheap nowadays. So much so that the Switch went back to use flash-based cartridges!
- Library size/price? The problem is even though you're paying a low price for hundreds of games, you don't own them. If any of these companies shut down the platform, all that money you spent is wasted. Plus, this can be solved with backwards compatibility and one-time digital downloads.
- Performance on commodity hardware? This is about the only thing these streaming services have going for it. But unfortunately this only works when you have an Internet connection, so if you have crap Internet or drop off the network, you're screwed. And has it ever occurred to people that maybe playing Doom on your phone is a terrible UX experience and shouldn't be done because it wasn't designed for it?
I just don't get it. Hopefully this whole fad passes soon.19
Fucking fuck fuckity keyboard autocorrect on windows (and on osx): NO FUCKING THANK YOU, FUCK OFF, STOP FUCKING AROUND WHILE I WRITE
I turned off fucking autocorrection on windows 10, I write an email in french, and every word that has a similar spelling in english gets autocorrected FUCK YOU OUTLOOK, FUCKING RESPECT MY FUCKING SETTINGS, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF CODED SHIT PILE OF SHITWARE
So much time lost correcting and recorrecting.
Oh, also: a phone is a fucking phone, a computer is a fucking computer, not the same device, not the same behaviours, fucking get that you fucking companies10
This is how Pokémon Go shows errors to its users. It says a generic „Error“ in German with different numbers for different errors.
I am not an UX expert, but isn’t this a really bad practice? The error number has no meaning to the user, so why displaying it? I think it is just confusing and looks ugly 😐8
What an awesome navigation bar 🤗 please navigate me to site `-1` 😂😂 and then making a drawback 'n' fail with a server error page 👌😉1
So I became a panel for a students' oral defense for their apps in the IT dep, I'm a lowly plebian STEM but oh well I guess they did spot me making apps on the library on my lunch time.
Anyways here's what happened:
I reviewed two groups and here's my input on them:
- Group one did a app that uses the gyroscope to control a character in the screen, and avoid obstacles. At first I don't know how to play it but I figured it out nonetheless, since I'm reviewing in the customer perspective, I shunned them because of poor UX, and poor performance. Idea was there but execution is fucked - and the fact its a one man stand when there's 6 persons in front of me.
- Group 2 did an app that behaves similarly to our shitty eLMS, I liked the UX and the UI but I gave them a few pointers to improve it more and recommended it to replace the current application (yes because it was really exceeding my low bar for their department).
It's kinda obvious which one I picked to get to the stage on their graduation. They deserved it but I felt bad for the girl in the last group since she did everything so I gave them a passing grade. But if I were to individually grade them: I'd pass her and fail the rest.
How'd I do as a panel judge my angery dudes?3
No Youtube, just because I finished watching a fucking video on my phone and then I closed it, doesn't mean that I wanna resume watching it again on my fucking TV!
"Oh, the user just stopped watching a video - surely he must want to watch it on his TV now!"
Seriously, who the fuck had the brilliant idea? And how desperate do you have to be for user attention to keep suggesting users to switch to a different device every time they close a video?3
why does your own phone app (god that's pathetic that it's an app) not have enough space to swipe down to hang up incoming calls on a physical keyboard device?4
I'm in Europe and searched for a few spots along my route with Google maps app, the search results contained USA
well done Google.. maybe you need 10 000 new devs to fix that1
Ok, if your going to let me type a message before you connect to the chat session, don't make enter fucking send the message, all I wanted was a new line. Ugh.1
The 'Not Junk' menu in Outlook contains 'not junk' (as expected) and what...?! Nice one, Microsoft!1
Once a again, Apple doesn't fail to disappoint with the depths of their stupid design decisions.
My (work issued) Macbook Pro is a chore just to turn on. Sometimes it turns on when I open the lid. Sometimes it turns on when I type a few keys. Sometimes it turns on when I use the power button hidden under fingerprint sensor.
Sometimes none of these things work. I end up holding the power/fingerprint button long enough for it to think I have forgotten my password (I haven't).
All I need is a snigle switch that can reliably power the device on or off, but I guess Apple doesn't have enough billions to get UX done properly.3
Not sure how this made it to production..
Looks like Time Warner Cable updated their site to use rems with a replace all on 'px'.
so new fone, new service. switched my # to google voice bc i rarely call or text anyone these days, way less $.
google hangouts(voice? diff idk) puts the "okay i'm done with adding ppl i'm sending to" check button, at the top of the frickin screen (note: the "i want to start a msg" button is bottom right, think about that for a moment)
oh-fucking-kay google, you can go fuck your-self
oh-fucking-kay google, you can join humanity and quit making these robot UIs
oh-fucking-kay google, fire your designers and UX people and add humans to your shopping list
you had to try this hard to suk this hard1
why are Linux graphical git clients so crap? (as compared to TortoiseHg)
like GitKraken is the only OK one, but it lacks soo many features its nearly useless (bisect anyone?) + you need a commercial license
GitEye is the second non-shit one, but it regurarly stops working + its non-free
and it seems most git GUI clients force the name of the repo to be their parent dir. my parent dir for all web projects is www, so in both apps I have a long list of projects named www, unless I expand the projects sidebar to cover half of the screen to see the very very end of the path that petrays the actual project name in GitEye. In GitKraken I have to investigate the commit history to figure out if I have the right GitKraken with the right project open... talk about UX :D
so do most "git experts" just use git commit, git push and git pull on the command line and thats their whole world and the reason why they prefer git to mercurial (for all the many features they never use)?11
Chronicles of UX struggles vol. 2
I ask the design team to do some sketches so I could see how they want the pages (2 pages), UX guy says he'll do the sketch for the page, and I ask to which one, the first one or the second one?
He answered me "Yes"...
Edit: he took over 3 hours to send me a new message after I tried to understand what he was indeed going to do...
Is is only me that thinks the position of *favorite* button on rants isn't user friendly? I find myself looking for it at the top most times or long pressing rants to favorites. 😥3
I used to use Twitter for character count often while debugging or writing test cases. Now the shitty ring counter is freaking useless😑