If you had
one language
One framework
To code everything you want
Would you learn it or let it pass

His code is heavy,
arms are weak,
mind is bending.
It's all spaghetti.
He is nervous but looks calm and ready
to go now
but he keeps on forgetting
what he wrote down.
The manager is getting loud
He moves his mouse but the bugs won't got out
They are features now
Time to ship
Over blaow!

The 5 phases of software development

Yo mama so fat

Just in case

Go home clock. You're drunk...

I'll just leave this here

Can't wait for this to happen

Stupid private repos

Sometimes I really feel bad for windows.

Someone with a potato Windows laptop that costs around $400 who has a bit of IT knowledge:

"Windows is so shit. Why does people buys this?"

installs Linux:

"OMG! Linux is so much better"

Even though it'll probably take a day or two to get the touchpad and wifi working. Want to install a software? Sure let me just download the source, compile it (Which will take another 2 hour to meet all the dependecies).

Another scenario:

Someone with a potato Windows laptop that costs around $400:

"Windows is such shit. Why does people buy this?"

Buys a $2000 Macbook.

"OMG! So much better. That's why people love mac so much"

I've used Fedora and Elementary for the last 3 years. But the amount of hate Windows gets is ridiculous.

Developer: We have a problem.
Manager: Remember, there are no such things as problems, only opportunities.
Developer: Well then, we have a DDoS opportunity.

Unix 😎

i'm a happy ranter

thanks guys for making this happen

that moment when you find AI more interesting than real person

Time for some serious debugging

age++ this is how I get a happy birthday wish

sigkill please

Slack isn't down. You've been fired.

anytime anyone asks me to write a solution to fizzbuzz - i do it in brainfuck because even if i screw up...no one knows. :P

++++++++++[>++++++++++<-]>>++++++++++>->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>-->+++++++[->++
++++++++<]>[->+>+>+>+<<<<]+++>>+++>>>++++++++[-<++++<++++<++++>>>]++++
+[-<++++<++++>>]>>-->++++++[->+++++++++++<]>[->+>+>+>+<<<<]+++++>>+>++
++++>++++++>++++++++[-<++++<++++<++++>>>]++++++[-<+++<+++<+++>>>]>>-->
---+[-<+]-<[+[->+]-<<->>>+>[-]++[-->++]-->+++[---++[--<++]---->>-<+>[+
+++[----<++++]--[>]++[-->++]--<]>++[--+[-<+]->>[-]+++++[---->++++]-->[
->+<]>>[.>]++[-->++]]-->+++]---+[-<+]->>-[+>>>+[-<+]->>>++++++++++<<[-
>+>-[>+>>]>[+[-<+>]>+>>]<<<<<<]>>[-]>>>++++++++++<[->-[>+>>]>[+[-<+>]>
+>>]<<<<<]>[-]>>[>++++++[-<++++++++>]<.<<+>+>[-]]<[<[->-<]++++++[->+++
+++++<]>.[-]]<<++++++[-<++++++++>]<.[-]<<[-<+>]+[-<+]->>]+[-]<<<.>>>+[
-<+]-<<]

This is 100x more satisfying than Twitter or Facebook notifications

"Knock knock"
"Who's there?"
"A pointer"
"A pointer wh-"
"NULL REFERENCE EXCEPTION"

If you put a UNIX shell to your ear, you can hear the C.

When one of the newest developers submits code that looks 100x better than his usual stuff and you respond "You need to include the link to where you got this"

If you are reading this, I want you to know that I am probably on some kind of FBI watchlist because I googled "How to kill all children while leaving the parent alive". So yeah, Linux is brutal.

go home AVG you are drunk

When you implement a 3rd party payment system, and it doesn't work... and their support can't fix the problem... So you debug their code and send them the revised code and they update their GIT repo and update their documenting.

That moment when you run out of names in games

what people think when I say I program in COBOL..

I've been doing alot in eclipse recently and the keyboard shortcut for the intellisense window is ctrl + space. Suddenly I was asked to update some documentation; 10 minutes it took me to figure out word doesn't have intellisense!

Good idea!

Going down to the new office tomorrow to choose my new nap ro... Err, I mean, our server room.