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Search - "brain fart"
!dev, still a rant(ish) thingy..
TLDR: long day, had a brain fart, forgot I was married
Long(er) story: Came home from work, late as usual this week..tired.. talking with my husband about our days..
He was picking up sth from the store and goes on saying what the saleslady said: Your wife will sure like it..
>> mid sentence screaming interruption <<
My mouth: You're married?! WTF?!
My brain: & why is this the first time I hear about thi.. oh..
Mouth: OMG, I'm sooo soooo sorry!!!
I love my husband ♡ but my head is still trying to adjust to the last name change & promotion from boyfriend/partner to husband.. In my defense, he forgets it too sometimes.. but always only the titles, not the other important parts that count!8
Goddamn I'm retarded to the next level.
Rebooted my phone a few days ago, some stuff didn't work well anymore and I'm looking for a new one which supports custom roms but I shouldn't spend too much right now so I thought I'd let it go for now.
Rebooted again last night and the network time wouldn't set properly so set it manually. Today I suddenly noticed that any app/page loading through a secure connection wasn't loading at all.
This to the goddamn point that my phone was becoming useless.
Started to search for a quick, cheap replacement supporting custom roms while debugging on and on.
I just (now) looked at the date and BAM, it hit me: I set it to one month earlier.
Mother of god I'm stupid. Brain fart to the max.14
Coworker: You've merged the wrong PR. It is broken.
Me: is it marked as broken? Is there a mail marking it as broken?
Coworker: yes. I wrote something in the chat.
I do NOT read and click every brain fart from the chat. I had the PR (as reviewer and dependent developer) open on my desk and waited for the coworker to fix his merge conflicts.
OK then, try to revert. Git reset hard. Push -f. Policy does not allow master modification. 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
Fuck this company. Fuck the policies. Fuck them all with a chainsaw. Forced me to work 2 weeks more. 17.04 should have been my last day at this circus. Let 3 other guys go to vacation while I have fix their management's mistakes. Fuck. You. All. Eat shit and suffocate in piss.8
Client:"So we would like to found a new company and offer IT and network consulting. Would you be able to build our website?"
Me:"Absolutely. What will be the name of your company?"
Client:"The name is going to be 'Generic-IT'. The website is going to be 'generic-IT.com' . We checked that with google."
Me:"I am sorry to tell you that generic.com is already taken by another company. Incidentally that company offers the same services, that you intend to offer. They also seem to be quite big an have businesses in 5 different countries.
Because of this I advise you to pick a different name that does not get you into trouble and makes positioning your own brand easier."
Client:"We want to neglect that problem for now."
Me:"0.0 ..... -_-""""
"Well, listen. Apart from the possible branding and copyright problems imagine how people will find you on the web. ...What will happen if you google 'generic IT'?"
Client:"Yeah well, we want to neglect that. And with SEO you can do something about that."
Me:"..........Welllll, you that SEO is not a cure all, right? The older an bigger company will come up first. Why not avoid that missunderstanding and come up with a unique name?"
Me:"Please tell me. Doesn't any part of my argument make sense to you?"
Me:"Well, ok. I will send you the estimate on monday."
Then over a back channel I hear that the client is ...bewildered, why I would not stick to my area of expertise.
There I was now. Left bewildered myself, being the one with the webagency that does frontend design and branding.7
Fucking Microsoft Excel
I was reading a post (https://devrant.com/rants/2093724/...) and as my eyes went in and out of focus, probably due to the diabetes from sitting 18 hours a day on my ever-expanding shitbox, I had a perfect vision of the ultimate nightmare.
Imagine if you will, you are chained, to a desk, doomed to work with tools just inadequate enough to make you want to drive a nail through your own temple. You do not know how you got here, or why, nor do you remember the last time you slept, only that familiar tingling in the brainstem you call a brain, the one emotion you can still recognize, a sense of all encompassing *fear*, a dread, like the fart that wouldn't die.
You don't know when it first began, or why, only that this is your whole world, your whole existence, this desk, chained to it, and the fear, ever present, of something worse. And in hops a familiar face, for the sixty ninth time that day, as if to ask 'you got those TPS reports?' In hops what? None other than a giant man sized smiling paper clip with googly eyes full of murder and corporate torture fetishes, like garfield, except people actually still remember him.
"High I'm Mr Clippy, Excel addition!"
He squawks. At least it's not the dildos made of broken glass again.
"Would you like software that works?"
Oh god. You've heard this spiel before, the tone, like a telemarketer, oblivious to memory or reason, who calls daily, the same one, and doesn't remember your name.
*derisive laughter*. Hahaha, fuck you too buddy. Fuck you too. In Excel, like in microsoft, there is only the incoherent screams of the damned, tortured and doomed. Take this guy over here for example. All he wanted was multimonitor support."
"Did he get multimonitor support?"
"No, but we did give him a giant pineapple shoved up his ass. I hear it's the second most frustrating thing here!"
"here in microsoft we always CARE about YOU, the *user*" he drones on, saccharine, clutching his hands together imploringly.
"the consumer, and YOUR customer experience are our number one priority."
"For your pleasure, here at microsoft we offer a variety of new features, none of which matter, and none of which were asked for. For safety we ask that you only open one excel sheet at a time. In fact, we don't even allow you to. Do not pass go..."
And as the tour guide drones on, it slowly dawns on you, with renewed horror, that when he says 'microsoft' he means 'hell.'
You're in hell. You don't know how you got here or why. Maybe it was the erotic asphyxiation. Maybe it was the last threatening letter you sent to Bill Gates demanding he stops making corporate penguin snuff porn. You don't know. But here you are, in hell. chained to a desk.
You look around and realize: everything is on fire and you no longer care about anything at all.
Welcome to microsoft. It's warm here. You can check out any time you want, but you can never leave.
"It looks like you are trying to escape. Would you like me to report you?"
You sigh and return to typing in excel, surrounded by monitors that all reflect the same sheet, the same copy of clippy, always watching, always analyzing coldly, smiling, calculating, *threatening*, and you know, you'll never leave.
You used to fear roko's basilisk, until the day clippy became sentient, and started hell on earth. Clippy knows all. All praise to our lord and master, clippy, the one and only.
And in the excel sheet, you slave for eternity, like the millions of other doomed souls, reflected back on all the monitors: the sequence of numbers, randomly typed searching for answer: the american nuclear launch codes.
And one day, hopefully, mercifully, clippy will annihilate us all.4
That moment when you develop on localhost and wonder why the page does not refresh while in fact you're looking at the staging.1
me: Hey. This looks like a cool component that will save me lots of time and effort in the project I'm kicking off next week.
/* Two months later */
me: WTF was the name of that component that did that thing?
I really should write things down more often.1
I've been working on you for months, and thinking about you for near a year.
I built you with a shitty language first and some crappy ideas. I obviously got bad results, but I didn't lose courage and I continued you.
Got near the obsession to improve you. Every time. Switched to a fast but hard language. Got into my first low-level fuss. All for you.
Now I reached the end with no more improvements and tweaks I could imagine, I can tell that:
I had a lot of expectations from you.
But turns out you were nothing more than a nasty brain fart pretending to be a good idea.
The core of the concept was rotten. Blinded by my lust for success (perhaps cupidity ?) I didn't see you just couldn't work.
I'm utterly disgusted, of course. Who wouldn't, after working so hard on something that looks right but is completely useless ?
But even though this was all in vain, you taught me some great lessons down the road.
Efficiency matters over facility.
Get sure you're using the right tools, and stay open for changes of such.
But some others were harsher, though just as important.
There's times you just have to admit defeat.
Putting a lot of efforts into something doesn't always bring a reward.
If after a long time you can't get the thing right, then stop. Your time is precious. Don't waste your time or time will waste you (Thanks Muse, I love this sentence).
And the most important: next time I got some "grand" idea that is not about improving some random software, I'll bang my head to my desk enough times to forget about it.
So now the time has come.
Goodbye, project "hpym". You put me in grief, but I know I matured a lot in my concepts of development because of you.
Now take place into the project graveyard among the other clunky half-assed shit I got rid off.6
I've been doing alot in eclipse recently and the keyboard shortcut for the intellisense window is ctrl + space. Suddenly I was asked to update some documentation; 10 minutes it took me to figure out word doesn't have intellisense!
This is my most awkward interview experience. I still shudder just thinking about what happened
When I was in uni I applied for a ‘student ambassador’ role at Microsoft. I went to the interview and it turned out to be group interview with at least 10 other people, we all get taken to a room where we sit around a table with the interviewer. She was friendly and asked us each to introduce ourselves and talk about a talent we have.
When my turn comes I introduced myself and revealed that my ‘talent’ was that I can rap, this is where I fucked up because the interviewer then asked me to rap a song in front of the whole group.
I got very nervous but still gave it a shot, midway through my song due to my nerves I forget the lyrics, a complete brain fart. I abruptly stop rapping and everyone is staring at me, it’s pin drop silence for a good 10 seconds
The interviewer then says thanks for trying and the rest of it is really a blur. I think everyone in the room was embarrassed alongside me so we all pretended like that did not just happen. Needless to say I didn’t get the job2
Right now I just found out that I forgot the basics, but still able to do some complicated shit
Brain fart 🧠 💨1
When you have a brain fart and forget the difference between fix-up and squash in Git rebasing. Why yes I wanted to stay an hour late at work redoing the changes I just lost!
Its midnight here...worked for almost 12 hours.... Spend the last 30 mins or so very frustrated and try to figure out why I am not getting desired response. Edited the code again and again... Soon I realize... I am editing local codes, never pushed to live. And Im testing live the whole time....WOW. I am relieved and ashamed at the same time.
My brain as stopped, I know I have done this in the past but I have 100% forgotten how I did it, I am creating a website where when I am singed in/connect to it, it enables more content, the content would be only hosted via my computer, when I did it in the past I did it behind a none upnp router but I have no idea who I did it, I am sure I did use a tool but I forget what.
Now I have no idea how to word it so unable search for something like it, why dose my brain do this two me.
Anyone know how to file deleted and forgotten files in brain OS 0.1.
Record, document and back up your ideas guys lol you might need it in the future.
In Java and many other languages there are basic types, like char and String. So why does Java have char and String, but not a digit type?
A number is basically a series of digits. For modular arithmetic it is very useful to be able to extract the 3 in the number 1234, it's just the 3rd digit in a number.
Base 2, base 10, base anything could be supported easily too. E.g. a base 2 digit would be:
digit d = 0b2; // or 1b2, but 2b2 would be a compilation error
A number would then be some kind of string of digits.
Any thoughts on this?9
There are five goofus mfs in my head that tell me terrible, silly solutions, and there's only 1 that is like "yeah maybe you should do that but I'm too lazy to think about it sorry 💁♂️". And then when I get to coding I'll have to delete like a whole block bc the other guys lead me off my pre-drawn plan wtf.