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Search - "banking"
Client: I want all cookies blocked on my computer.
Me: Are you sure? Some things won't work if i do that. Like using online banking.
Client: I don't use it, so it's fine.
*Two weeks pass. I have to come back and see three bankcards laying on the table*
Client: I'm not able to use online banking anymore. Can you fix it?
Come on! You pay me to give advice and help out with problems. The least you could do is listen.10
Sent an email out in work informing everyone that we had pushed updates out to all Windows PC's.
Got the following phone call 10 minutes later:
"Hi, I can't log into the banking account app on my iPhone. Did you do something to it with your updates?"
"Nope. They were PC updates."
"Well, I'm sorry but you're wrong. It must be you! It was working yesterday."
"Again, it's not us. What's the error message you're getting on your app?"
".....then could it just be that you're entering an invalid password?"
"No, I know the password. I only changed it yesterday!"
"So it was working before you changed the password?"
"That's what i said!
I'm telling you, it's your updates."
"Okay but before we go 'troubleshoot' it, how about ringing your bank firs-"
"Oh look, it doesn't matter if you don't want to help, I don't have time for this!
I'll ring your boss and he'll uninstall the updates for me and fix the app." *hangs up*13
A small story on digitalization
I had spent an hour in the bank with my dad, as he had to transfer some money. I couldn't resist myself & asked:
Dad, why don't we activate your internet banking?
''Why would I do that?'' He asked, ''Well, then you wont have to spend an hour here for things like transfer.
You can even do your shopping online. Everything will be so easy!
I was so excited about initiating him into the world of Net banking.
He asked, If I do that, I wont have to step out of the house?
''Yes, yes''! I said. I told him how even grocery can be delivered at door now and how amazon delivers everything!
His answer left me tongue-tied.
He said ''Since I entered this bank today, I have met four of my friends, I have chatted a while with the staff who know me very well by now.
Two years back I got sick, The store owner from whom I buy fruits, came to see me and sat by my bedside and cried.
When u r Mom fell down few days back while on her morning walk. Our local grocer saw her and immediately got his car to rush her home as he knows where I live.
Would I have that 'human' touch if everything became online?
I like to know the person that I'm dealing with and not just the 'seller'. It creates bonds. Relationships.
Does "online" deliver all this as well?
Technology isn't life #BeHuman
For those who are not getting the context, this things happen in India. It is truth not a fact.18
Me: opens mobile banking app
app: Swipe right to see account balance without logging in
Me: swipes right
Remember the WebDev guy from my last inspirational "rant"?
Well he called me and he somehow found a Support scammer
so I went over to his place and setup our "how to destroy a scammer's computer" kit which we got from a couple of friends in Discord and waited for the scammer to call.
And at long last, the scammer called,He setup a VM while I find his IP and RAT his computer, then went on to find other computers and check if they reside on the same LAN network.
at that point WebDev guy asked me "what are you planning to do?"
"Tell him this is your banking app" while presenting him a virus executable. "Don't click on that though". So he did, and they began the transfer and once the scammer clicked it on his computer (I was observing via RDP), we lost connection to the scammer's computer so I assumed the thing worked.
We were laughing our asses while in the middle of this fuckery.
Best moment in my life.8
Sometimes I wish I was allowed to just strangle my colleagues...
Example from the 'code base':
except Exception as e:
When I asked why they would redo the same call right after it failed I was told that 'It works the second time because it takes time to raise the Exception '.
Bitch, you've got a race condition in your sensitive banking software. You know it's there. Do you really want to trust the time needed to raise your exception will always be enough to synch that dumpster fire you call code?
Show some fucking respect for your craft and fix that shit. But of course they won't, because it will work flawlessly until it suddenly stops working. Taking down who knows what in this damn, undocumenred monolith with it....
Sometimes I'm honestly afraid to trust banks with my money.7
I wonder why banks are always so terribly insecure, given how much money there's for grabs in there for hackers.
Just a while ago I got a new prepaid credit card from bpost, our local postal service that for some reason also does banking. The reason for that being that - thank you 'Murica! - a lot of websites out there don't accept anything but credit cards and PayPal. Because who in their right mind wouldn't use credit cards, right?! As it turns out, it's pretty much every European I've spoken to so far.
That aside, I got that card, all fine and dandy, it's part of the Mastercard network so at least I can get my purchases from those shitty American sites that don't accept anything else now. Looked into the manual of it because bpost's FAQ isn't very clear about what my login data for their online customer area now actually is. Not that their instruction manual was either.
I noticed in that manual that apparently the PIN code can't be changed (for "security reasons", totally not the alternative that probably they didn't want to implement it), and that requesting a forgotten PIN code can be done with as little as calling them up, and they'll then send the password - not a reset form, the password itself! IN THE FUCKING MAIL.
Because that's apparently how financial institutions manage their passwords. The fact that they know your password means that they're storing it in plain text, probably in a database with all the card numbers and CVC's next to it. Wouldn't that be a treasure trove for cybercriminals, I wonder? But YOU the customer can't change your password, because obviously YOU wouldn't be able to maintain a secure password, yet THEY are obviously the ones with all the security and should be the ones to take out of YOUR hands the responsibility to maintain YOUR OWN password.
Banking logic. I fucking love it.
As for their database.. I reckon that that's probably written in COBOL too. Because why wouldn't you.23
I literally cringed today when my neighbor wanted help installing an app, she didn't tell me it was her banking app... And the thing I needed to help with was logging in... So she told me her bank details...
Even though I said (multiple times) it was dangerous to do so, and that she can't just trust people with this kind of information...
WHY ARE PEOPLE SO GOD DAMN STUPID WHEN IT COMES TO SECURITY!9
Fuck my life...
Okay, so I’m working on a web app with a small group... the app is basically a lead generator for new business in another country. We just need contact details cause they’re a fucker to buy.
Step 1: prototype to the investors, working with the ceo to make this thing look shiny AF.
Goes well as fuck.
CEO: “when can we get this out?”
Me: “it’s basically done mate, get your guys to look at it and we can talk about marketing”
Que a shower of 10 or so bellends with senior in their title going into a room and coming out with:
Bellends: “so on this page we want the user to confirm and accept the contract”
Me: “cool, makes some sense, that’s what it’s already doing.”
Bellends: “afterwards we want to show them the price and have them put in their banking details.”
Me: “Wait, you what when?”
Bellends: “Yeah, well Jenny says we should have as few clicks as possible to get to the final stage and have the customer accept.”
Me: “Jenny’s on fucking crack, moving the contract formation phase to after the contract acceptance stage is not an option”
Bellends: “Oh it’s okay, Andy in legal said that would be okay”
Me: “Andy’s a fucking moron, tell him that online contract formation laws were updated 2014/2015 and you can’t do that anymore”
Bellends: “No, andy’s legal, surely he knows”
Bellends: “We want all of this above the fold”
Me: “OH FUCKING SUCK A DICK YOU ABSOLUTE BAND OF FUCKWADS... which one of you, which one hasn’t looked at a website this millennia!?”
Needless to say I ignored all their shit, got the lead generator out and told the CEO those ten people are certifiably fucking useless.
Bonus round; recent, but “it has to be on internal infrastructure”
“Why? It’s a mobile app sending rest calls to a third party saas.”
“It just has to, we have this thing called the private cloud and w”
“Wait... you what son, priv 🤦🏼♂️ private what mate?”
“You... you mean a server rack?”
“Nah we spent £2mn on it, it’s brilliant”
“Hahahaha you fucking dick, you blew £2mn on server infra with fuckall to put on it!?”
“No, no it’s the private cloud”
“Fucking idiot, aye son, where’s the fucking bean stalk you prick!?”
“It has to go on internal infr”
“Shut up, that won’t work”9
I can add two-factor authentication to GitHub, but my online banking password must have EXACTLY 5 characters...14
I used to work as an all-in-one IT guy in a company. One day I got a call from our HR team and the HR said "my Internet banking account has been hacked! It's logging in automatically!!" So I went to see the issue, and the so called "hack" was because she allowed Mozilla Firefox to save her login credentials, and because of that the login form was automatically filled. Such a stupid ass4
I was added on LinkedIn by a person who is:
Strategic Thinker & Solution Architect & Innovation Thinker & Data Scientist & CORE Banking & Digital Transformation & AGM & CIO
HOW FUCKING LUCKY I AM TO BE ADDED BY THIS TYPE OF PEOPLE -.-7
After a couple years as a developer I've learned that all those banking sites and cool online stores and apps are held together with old chewed gum, duck tape and that guys who has been in the office 48h straight and whose wife thinks he's dead.2
Bank forces me to change my password. Figured I'd use Safari's strong password generation. Submit. Password changed.
Go to log in with new password. Password not saved because I had previously told Safari not to save this site's password.
Okay… so the strong password you JUST generated and submitted without showing me is now my banking password but neither of us knows what it is?
Fucking brilliant. I mean at least let me fucking copy it so I can store it in my password manager. The most hilarious thing is the message that appeared on the generated password saying my password would be available from Safari preferences. Yup, nope. Nothing there except a note saying no passwords will be stored for this site.
This is the state of Apple in 2018, folks. Fucking sad.20
Welcome to free airport WiFi. In order to connect please fill in full name for you and your closest family, your social security number, banking addresses, and send your first born son to address stated below, in order to connect. Have a pleasant stay.
Please know we log all activity, and redistribute to 3rd parts.2
Fuck these crusty equifax cocksuckers. This equifax hack makes me livid. Here's why: the entire purpose of the company is to collect absurd amounts of information about everyone in a country through methods that the subjects of the information gathering have no means to control, and there is no immediate penalty for them being irresponsible with it. If they lose all that data, they can only lose damages in class action, and I guarantee you they will learn nothing from it.
THIS IS A WAKE UP CALL TO ALL ASSHOLES WHO THINK PRIVACY AND SECURITY IS NO BIG DEAL. THIS ISNT THE FIRST TIME, AND YET ITS STILL ONLY THE BEGINNING. HACKS LIKE THIS ARE SERIOUS ENOUGH TO RUIN PEOPLES LIVES
I say it over and over again, but nobody listens: half of the reason I don't trust these people is because they don't have a great reason to have that information and I know their IT is total shit and WILL be compromised because they probably figured Windows 2000 works why upgrade. You know I'm right. Their company has fax in the name
There's no need to explain to me why we need to have this in order for the banking and loan industry to work, im not stupid, but for fucks sake, put people's data under the care of their own hands. Have a multi key lock system so the user can control their data, and it's not just totally at your mercy. The fact that it is totally at their mercy is what makes it wildly evil.
If you own a company that is founded on the basis of personally fucking people and taking away their control and you're propped up by government regulations that limit the freedom of the market thereby securing you the freedom to never change despite your flaws, this is for you: im going to personally fuck each and every one of them through every hole in their body with an unlubricated baseball bat and force them to eat every pair of their crusty underpants and then hang them upside down and video tape them starving.
Seriously, it's not hard to design a system that still fills the need without making people surrender their god given rights. Let's just put all of these assholes in jail in Guantanamo bay for the rest of their lives. It's about fucking time.
I hate equifax, i hate credit reporting, I hate the state of personal privacy in the world today.
And I also hate pathetic little cocksuckers like Kim Jong un who are children barely conscious above the level of a single celled organism, who are forcing their subjects to live in a world where access to free information carries a death penalty.
I can hardly sleep at night knowing people are getting away with the worst crimes in the history of humanity and it's all because some developer somewhere did their bidding or did it poorly.10
Switched banks, got new e-banking, unable to set up a new password.
It contains invalid characters.
IT'S A FUCKING BANK ACCOUNT I SHOULD BE ABLE TO USE HASHTAGS OR EVEN HAVE FUCKING SPACES IN IT IF I FEEL LIKE IT.7
New company moved in above us... Slogan : Blockchain, AI, Augmented reality and banking apps.....
Dude come on thee must be a buzzword CEO4
Me vs a government employee in India...
Me: You should have setup net banking on your website. I had to travel 20 miles to get to your office to make a payment.
Employee: Sir, we do have net banking enabled.
Me: I searched all over your website but couldn't find it.
Employee: Oh! Well, I guess it stopped working since it rained yesterday.4
Client: why do I have to use such a hard password for this website?
Me: For security reasons to protect your content and identity of your clients.
Client: Can't you just use the password that I'm used to? I use it on my banking software, and I've never been hacked so it should be good enough for you!
Me: what's the password that you want me to set up for you?
Client: you ready to take it down?
Me: go ahead.
Client: T ... U ... R ... D. You got that?
Me: ... Yes ...
This is insane!
No SSL on a payment site that asks for banking information, doesn't even have the option to goto SSL, craziness.
Welp, that is the end of this project that I was doing for a friend. No way to test without a merchant account and well, no way am I filling out that form.
Here's the story of my first month at CERN :) But first, a little premise...
Before arriving, I expected to be scared, alone and unguided in most of my experiences: after all I was a simple 19 year old about to leave home and friends for 3 years heading out in the world with zero experience on stuff like banking, taxes.. let alone working in a huge environment! The impostor syndrome was at an all time high on that front.
Then, I had the luck and pleasure to find an extremely competent and helpful plethora of people, ranging from my team to other CERNies (yes, that how we're called :P) who took me under their wing and introduced me to all the key aspects of living the place. When the initial stress finally soothed down thanks to this, I finally started to manage focusing more and more on my work, by following day-by-day my teammates who taught me the core aspects of the system and the many projects that are in progress during Long Shutdown 2. Within a couple weeks, I already managed to grasp various concepts that got me quickly on track, and now I managed to develop and integrate new temperature monitoring scripts into a system checking on hundreds of Single Board Computer-based servers :) It's a real rollercoaster of learning and applying under all fronts and so far I'm not regretting my choice of departing.
Luckily I've also discovered I'm pretty efficient and good at my job, which surely boosts my morale :D
Keep you updated as usual!12
Meet 'SBI Online' app from Play Store, in their own words:
What they were supposed to do?
"Experience the new Retail Internet Banking of SBI"
What they do?
"SBI online app will redirect to SBI Retail Internet Banking (online SBI) site"
Why do they have app?
"No need to remember URL",
"Less memory space required on device"
App storage space?
F**king 2.6 MB, just to redirect users to their website, in third-party browser.2
This big multi-million consulting company hired me as freelance. They did it in a hurry, because "the project already started, it is a very important client (a bank) and we need your expertise by YESTERDAY".
In the first THREE WEEKS I had meetings with their own project managers, their client's project managers, techies, sales people. No one was able to tell me what do I have to do, but:
1 - they asked me for very detailed estimates plus a release plan
2 - f**k your estimates, we need this BY JANUARY 16th5
Just got chewed out because someone couldn't see the latest interface changes on the site...
*Walked over to their desk*
Me: "Did you clear your browser's cache?"
Them: "Oh, what does my online banking have to do with the updates?"
Me: *sigh* 😬😬5
For some reason my manager freaked out after her non developer husband told her that each of the web pages for our main service would take months to build. Shit man its just static content with some animations here and there. It is a total of 15 pages and this dude estimated that I (as in yours truly) would only be able to do 2 per month. Bato stfu. Stick to banking (hopefully your time estimates don't suck ass there) and let me woo your woman with my frontend godspeed.
So what did I do?
Simple, asked her to show me one of the design models she already created on photoshop. Saved that thing to my computer and coded it at home. In 2 hours (It was originally one but my dumbass gor tab trigger happy with rm rf autocomplete so I had to do it again...fking dumb) and showed it to her this morning.
Eat a dick dude. The woman is already going apeshit over all the other shit we have to do plus working on her masters and attentind 100+ pointless meetings a day whilst still being able to be the best fucking manager I've ever had. I really don't need her freaking the fuck out over your dumbfuck estimates. Why in the wholy fucking world she listened to your dumbass is beyond me, probably stress made her freak out.
Its cool b.....I got it under control.
Fucking chill woman damn.
My German bank really needs some better mobile devs. I just tried to do a bank transfer. For some reason, it strips away all letters out of a previously saved IBAN number, and only gives you a keypad for input, so you can't even change it back -.-17
I just logged into my bank account to see that everything has changed. More basic, primitive styling and in general it is shit. Why am I ranting about this, because I could tell from looking that it has been done to be more mobile friendly. Sure enough I resized the screen and everything snapped into place like it would on a mobile.
Now I've got to put up with an inefficient and more time consuming UX all because some twat in the bank has decided to pander to mobile devices nearly ten years after they've been introduced even though there's already a mobile banking app for that.
Responsive design is like living with a dwarf, because one of you is small, nobody else is allowed to have cupboards on walls anymore. Bastards!7
So... did I mention I sometimes hate banks?
But I'll start at the beginning.
In the beginning, the big bang created the universe and evolution created humans, penguins, polar bea... oh well, fuck it, a couple million years fast forward...
Your trusted, local flightless bird walks into a bank to open an account. This, on its own, was a mistake, but opening an online bank account as a minor (which I was before I turned 18, because that was how things worked) was not that easy at the time.
So, yours truly of course signs a contract, binding me to follow the BSI Grundschutz (A basic security standard in Germany, it's not a law, but part of some contracts. It contains basic security advice like "don't run unknown software, install antivirus/firewall, use strong passwords", so it's just a basic prototype for a security policy).
The copy provided with my contract states a minimum password length of 8 (somewhat reasonable if you don't limit yourself to alphanumeric, include the entire UTF 8 standard and so on).
The bank's online banking password length is limited to 5 characters. So... fuck the contract, huh?
Calling support, they claimed that it is a "technical neccessity" (I never state my job when calling a support line. The more skilled people on the other hand notice it sooner or later, the others - why bother telling them) and that it is "stored encrypted". Why they use a nonstandard way of storing and encrypting it and making it that easy to brute-force it... no idea.
However, after three login attempts, the account is blocked, so a brute force attack turns into a DOS attack.
And since the only way to unblock it is to physically appear in a branch, you just would need to hit a couple thousand accounts in a neighbourhood (not a lot if you use bots and know a thing or two about the syntax of IBAN numbers) and fill up all the branches with lots of potential hostages for your planned heist or terrorist attack. Quite useful.
So, after getting nowhere with the support - After suggesting to change my username to something cryptic and insisting that their homegrown, 2FA would prevent attacks. Unless someone would login (which worked without 2FA because the 2FA only is used when moving money), report the card missing, request a new one to a different address and log in with that. Which, you know, is quite likely to happen and be blamed on the customer.
So... I went to cancel my account there - seeing as I could not fulfill my contract as a customer. I've signed to use a minimum password length of 8. I can only use a password length of 5.
Contract void. Sometimes, I love dealing with idiots.
And these people are in charge of billions of money, stock and assets. I think I'll move to... idk, Antarctica?4
Yay, my sister is going to Mongolia next week from Infosys as a project lead in Finacle. (a banking product)7
Fuck you for imposing the upper limit on password length for my online banking! Why do you even care about my pass - don't you fucking hash it beforehand?!3
What irritates me to no end.
"Companies" that try to game the system and have people pay for something that is already free.
I was tasked with implementing a Magento payment solution integrating WeChat Starpay.
Sure no problem, maybe 6 hrs of work.
When I couldn't get access to the api as a developer, when the site doesn't have SSL and wants sensitive banking information, when the contact form doesn't work directly, and they have a contact form on mikecrm.com, my suspicions were raised.
Looking around further, all they are doing is mirroring the chinese api, taking your banking info and submitting to wechat for you.
Ofc, I canceled the project, found the chinese api, and will most likely release an open source version integrating the free chinese api directly.
Companies like this piss me off, so unethical. they want to do the minimum amount of work possible and have people pay for it.
As far as doing work again for friends, that is over.
I may not be the most righteous human being that walked the earth, but I do have unwavering ethics and honesty for the most part.3
Fuck my internet banking.
My bank just created a "new" version of internet banking which literally looks the same except it freezes my browser all the time. WTF??!!4
“I accidentally e-mailed my bank ‘delete’ and they lost everybody’s accounts. I’m sorry i’m just learning banking.”
“The latest Ethereum Parity wallet disaster”
Recently i had a small talk with someone working in the banking sector . When that person acknowledged what i do for a living , she started to be a little bit passive-agressive .
Her:"You know someday , sooner than later , a guy like you is going to create something like artificial intelligence to replace all the devs in the world . Ha ha ha ! And your golden age is going to end . "
Me:"So you think this guy is going to create a smart program , software or platform , that will create software from what ? "
Her:" We will write the specs directly in the program and we will get the software after !"
Me:"And what if the specs are impossible, from logical point of view. "
Her:" Well there will be some rules and you will need to respect them !"
Me: "And people need to learn the logic of these rules?"
Her: " Yes a little bit of training!"
Me:" We already have that !"
Her: " We have ?! "
Me: " Is called .... CODING !"
Her: **silence **
(I remembered the burn from a comic -- forgot the name-- but GOD it felt good !)
Why some people hate us ?4
Me: *Trying to get the mobile banking app*
App: Nope, you have a rooted device
Me: *disables root access for apps and adb*
App: Nope, you have a rooted device
Me: *Maybe a xposed module would help*
Xposed: Nope, you have android nougat
Me: *Maybe there's some LineageOS marshmallow rom for my phone*
LineageOS: Nope, just android 7.1
Fucking hate my job 😡
I joined as nodejs dev at a mnc 3months ago involved in banking software in which i dont have any domain knowledge.. first 10 days I was told to go through fucking udemy nodejs and graphql tutorial (wtf) which i already have experience with before joining.. after that my reporting manager gives me task to resolve fields and gave me shitty jira story link to read.. that shit story link had no explanation about the fields and what the database it is, then she says to use some shitty sdk which is built internally by shiity devloper which had no documentation and have to follow other module which was again written by that sr. Dev... They hav fucked up the graphql and nodejs and entire stack and also till date no one has ever given any explanation about the domain and the fields and database schema.. this manager refuses to share knowledge about the domain now how the fuck i resolve the graphql schema which was again written by non technical b.a.. all they have used is latest technology in a shitty way with no standards to to follow .. no dataloading no caching no batching.. use shitty sdk which does not give access to dbconn and fucking tightly coupling expressjs which when i start consumes crazy 400Mb of memory .. these fucking seniors devs + the fucking b.a having 12+. Yrs exp each have fucked the entire codebase... Each day killing my passion for app development.. fuckkk ... Dunno what to do now7
My small robot family at an convention of the company I'm working at. We're evaluating how we can use robots in banking. Maybe some day we can put them into a real bank office, but the path is tough because robots sometimes have there own mind and not giving a fuck about what I program them to do...14
Fuck sake, so my bank has been migrating/rolling out new IT system and app/site have been broken for about a week (others noted evidence of devs debugging in production)
Assuming I don't lose my money as some mischievous assholes will inevitably exploit the fuck up, and rob the bank, I will be moving my funds to a different bank...
In mean time I'm trying to prepare for uni, and they're making a ton of semi-random changes in addition to rolling out a site with course details and info along those line, and good fucking god is it bad.
Is is slow as fuck? Check. Does it use never-seen-before naming for standard things? Check! Is the UI pulled from late 90's? YOOU BETCHA! Are the pages bloated with unnecessary content? Fuck yeah! Do I get SQL exceptions when I finally locate my course? Of course I do. Does clicking "back" take me back to the landing page instead of previous page, when I'm several steps deep? .....
I could keep going, but don't feel like ranting and feel more like punching someone in the throat.repeatedly.
Work at a banking software company, one bug allowed bankers to book a deal after quote expired. So i could theoretically buy something at yesterday's rate. Dev forgot the "btnBook.enabled=false"5
This “Auto save” feature in the latest app version is buggy..
-> new rant
-> prefilled with previous rant..
Anyway, here my actual rant begins.
Apple, go fuck yourself, seriously.. put your trillion dollars way up your arse...
Moved to Ireland, want to switch country..
“If you want to switch countries, cancel your Apple Music subscription first”..
so be it. Cancelled it..
“Your subscription will be cancelled in 28 days”.
FUCK YOU, YOU COCK SUCKING BASTARDS!!
I NEED TO SWITCH THE STORE TO BE ABLE TO DOWNLOAD BANKING APPS AND STUFF LIKE THAT..
But ok, I’m screwed in this regard..
Suddenly iMessage stopped working. This is kind of a big deal because I have unlimited data but only unlimited sms to Irish numbers and I need to communicate with people in Switzerland and Germany..
Internet works so I try to turn iMessage off and in again. But that doesn’t work.. i can only reactivate iMessage via WiFi.
So I go back to the hotel, reactivate iMessage..
“Verifying imessage” >> google..
Leads me to an Apple forum: “the verification of iMessage can take up to 24h”.
Are you fucking kidding me? I’m in a new country and rely on this overpriced shit..
Fun but sad fact, I have a second phone with me. IPhone 4 with iOS 7 and that thing WORKS!!
If this is where the future is going we’re all gonna die very soon.. plains crash, power plants explode but hey, at least they have data about it and it looks shiny. That’s all that matters..
Another reason to switch to android..
MacOs fucked me up so I already switched to windows + Linux. Next one will be getting rid of iOS, they don’t build small phones anymore anyway..1
Bank Teller: So how was your experience in using our online banking service.
Me: (Me looking at his face in awkward way)1
About to start my real first Java project to learn the language in-depth: a virtual ATM featuring a GUI and a networking system for the transmission of banking data to and from a server. Since I particularly care about security this will surely help me get a better understanding of everything involved. Wish me luck.16
My new case is finally here!!
After 3 months of effort, 2 rejected visa and 1 (almost) lost fund, it finally arrive just before year's end
Purchased on december 1st, arrived on 29th, and the web tracking is still saying "on transit at Frankfurt", at least it's finally arrived
I used this "digital banking" thing, and my purchase was rejected twice when using visa due to "incorrect billing information", and the bank is not helpful at handling this matter, probably because the billing address is supposed to be the address on my ID card, while on the app there are 2 different usable addresses one is from ID, and one is the current address, and my rejected transaction was stuck on the second attempt, my money was not returned until a month later
Finally succeded when I used the same visa through paypal
Good print quality, the material's a bit unsatisfactory though, either it's weathered/damaged during transport, or it's just the way it is, the plastic edges doesn't "snap" perfectly along the silicon bumpers
All in all, it's a nice way to start the year, Happy New Year!!4
I'm working on a banking app (Android) and I thought: "This is a bank. An important one. They will surely have a good IT department! It will be a joy to work with them"...
Never have I been so wrong!3
Oh you want to email me and have me click on the link in order to update my online banking profile. Yes even tho I don't bank with you that seems like a good idea
Why are the MOST important passwords in my life (banks, financial, insurance) the LEAST secure (i.e. Max length 12, no special chars)
Went to bank at an unknown location all alone for first time and completed tons of pending work with the bank. In all, was worth 4 hours of struggling.
Being a Dev, I really feel bad how much the employee struggle to cope up with banking softwares and consider it as a gigantic task which for us is like the easiest task. Using mostly clicks and number pads and rarely any software updates.
I wonder why there isn't a proper training provided that would make them realise how simple it is to use banking proprietary softwares.
Or are we lagging behind to provide even better UX to banking employees.
So my friend was copying a 32 character long hash string from one phone to another because he has the banking app in one phone and registered mobile number in the other phone...
So, I was waiting when he was halfway done... The I said, bro... you could have sent that text as message from Phone1 to Phone2.... His facial expression was unexpressable. I could have told in the begining but I am a devil. 😈
While in the banking world, I had a project where I had to automate an import into a shit system called CRAWiz. The data had to come from multiple archaic loan systems with no API and tons of shit data.
After implementing, the shit data came to light. Instead of fixing shit data (and using their loan systems correctly), they decided to go back to digging through physical files and manually importing. They blamed CRAWiz and decided to go with a new system to import their shit data into. I warned them repeatedly that a new system would not fix the shit data but they couldn't accept it. I left at that point. 😂
Wanted to make an account on Payoneer to get paid from 99designs for the stuff I make there.
Entered my password, got error.
"Please use only the latin alphabet, a-z and 0-9"
SERIOUSLY, it's banking stuff. how can they not allow secure passwords? *sitting here, crying"6
I was doing code reviews for some of the new Devs recently joined... One guy wrote his entire life history in the check in description... Like Why he took this approach, why interfaces are necessary in coding, when did he lost his virginity (I doubt he ever did), what's his pet name? - sadly no information related to his online banking... Shame really...
There is this friend of mine, total business profile, working in banking audit for MNEs. The guy is in trouble with his PowerPoint, asking me if I can assist because "as you working in IT". I'm a Golang distributed system engineer for a major delivery company. Be sure I will call you next time I need to open a bank account.1
Today I finally experienced the power of something I learned in university: propositional and predicate logic.
Many developers I know think that such education is useless. Well, today I have proven that it is very useful. On a day to day basis, working on banking software, complexity in purely logic is very low. However, we have a screen that must show or hide elements based on some input values and conditions associated with certain elements. How hard can that be, right? Well, there are many variables to take into account and as such it's absolutely not trivial.
This screen didn't work properly and maintaining the code is hard as there is a lot of logic to show/hide, enable/disable things and so on. After quite some time and attempts by fellow developers, I decided to refactor the whole thing. I'm responsible for the quality of the software and it was quite degrading, so I had to do something.
In order to get things working properly, I defined collections of constants (ui elements) and predicates. Then, I defined for which element what predicates must be true, in order to hide/show, disable/enable etc. I then translated these predicates into code. And guess what? It works! Of course it works. It's logic. But I'm very pleased I finally could actually use some of all the math I studied!5
My phone just died. Got a new phone on recommendation of friends and flash Jolla on it. The OS is super nice but the "Android support" doesnt work. No lastpass, no netflix, no prime, signal works half, no banking app.
I really need my windows phone back. It just worked without issues. After two android phones and now a Jolla in about two years im kinda done with all this shit.15
if i'm gonna build a toy, like a internet connected teddy bear with a touchscreen in it's belly. What options do I have for the operating system?10
"What language should I learn?" Wellll.
43 PERCENT Of banking systems are built on COBOL
80 PERCENT Of in-person transactions use COBOL
95 PERCENT Of ATM swipes rely on COBOL code
220 BILLION Lines of COBOL in use today
"Experienced COBOL programmers can earn more than $100 an hour when they get called in to patch up glitches, rewrite coding manuals or make new systems work with old." 
Found this pretty interesting/crazy.
Just found out today via Reddit that Wells Fargo, American Express (not personally confirmed), and Chase login passwords are NOT case sensitive!
I would check your bank too!2
For somebody who went to a liberal arts college, I'm surprisingly resistant to inconsequential changes. For instance, I flipped a shit when my online banking changed their dns configurations a little bit.
I'm about to do my bachelor thesis in Interaction Design. I've got to design a banking/pocket money app for kids 8-14y for a swiss bank.
And I have no idea where to beginn with it. What is needed? What do kids like? And is a banking app for kids in demand at all? Parents? Where do I get kids to talk to without beeing a creep who stands with sweets in front of the kindergarden? 😧10
Sux Security: Banking site asked me to set up 3 "security questions" for validation purposes. When I typed in my responses they were obfuscated behind asterisks.
When I log in later, from a different computer than usual, and am prompted for the answer to one of the security questions my answers appear in clear text.2
I once tried to create a client for the fonds bank of Frankfurt. But I didn't expect their JSON API to be designed by a trainee.
Look at the API.
Stringified numbers, decimal commas (Germany), separator dots for thousands, and even one breaks as if it came from a pjp script where they just put an if condition in each line.
I documented the API and tried to create a Jax rs client, but stopped completing it. Not useable atm. Just look at what I spoofed.
Im fucking tired that every cool add on for a browser asks permission to read everything... Like what the actual fuckkk ppl!!
Its not social media and that shit, but banking info. ..
If anyone knows a good tutorial to hack your own stylish extensión it would be appreciated1
For my design thesis I'm gonna design a banking app for kids. And i'd like to have a look at competitors apps screendesign.
Is it possible to open android and/or iphone apps in android studio/xcode in order to have a look at the screen designs?
Because I'm no kid or parent so getting accsess the legit way is out of question.5
Software engineering doesn't evolving the way you think of it.
There are no new big patterns. There are no new big concepts and ideas to bring that evolution to us. Rob Pike thinks that the concepts he used twenty years ago are the best possible way of implementing everything and he creates Golang.
The evolution of software engineering, and maybe the whole evolution as a concept is a tick-tock. Software engineering had its latest tick at nineties, when the concepts we call modern were developed. And the latest tock was the rise of the internet, and it given the single-computer-centered Von Neumann architecture really hard challenges. I mean ticks are theoretical inventions and patterns and ideas and etc, while tock is more of some practical, business-oriented implementations.
PHP is still in use. We have troubles with scaling and deployment. Banking systems still run old Java, Windows XP and even COBOL. We had persistence really, really long time ago, and now frontenders reinvent it and call it 'immutability'!
We had our tick many, many years ago. It's time for tock. With not only scientific but commercial use of things such as Clojure, CRDTs and maybe Rust lang, we are heading straight to our new big tock, which'll bring us new great problems to solve.
That's how any evolution goes.
I checked out this new hybrid app that was released by some local senior developers.
Turns out that on my user profile, my user ID is set as the value of a hidden field and changing it to any other user ID and saving the form will update the profile of that user. Including changing the password.
The password reset form also allows me to change the user ID to reset that user's password.
Speaking of passwords, the value of the password field on the profile is my actual password in plain text.
Yes, I said this app was released by a couple of "senior developers". One has over 15 years of experience and the other works at an IT company that builds online banking systems. They appear to have outsourced this side project to some other development team but... Come on. At least take one quick look at the source code before releasing it, why don't you?
I don't even...1
Not from a teammate, but using Ionic to create a banking app, I was about to have a heart attack seeing my brother forced to use it :|4
So next week I have a technical interview with TripleByte and I'm supposed to spent the next 2 days sorta preparing. Just woke up and had this thought tho:
What's the point? Yes I think I could try to get a better job but been trying for years (banking tech area) but now it feels like I'm at a "local optimum" sort of a sweet spot. Team/company could be smarter/more efficient but...
I've got my own place in a city that's also near NYC. It takes me 20 minutes to get to my current office, fairly flexible with the 9-5 work day, I can work remotely. I get enough money.
And then finding a new job === technical interviews about stuff you will rarely use and usually with no feedback like a pass-fail test where they only tell you if you pass or fail (and for me it always feels skewed towards fail the moment i walk since I'm deaf).
But at this point, I feel more like "you need to convince me to work for you". In my head, the plan is mostly to just have a nice chat and wing the technical questions just to see how good i am without any prep (i.e. poring thru Cracking the Coding Interview or Big O concepts, sorting...).2
So I have flashed and rooted (superSU) lineageOS 14.1 thats running android 7.1.2 on my phone and now I read that this will trip safetynet and won't allow things like netflix, banking apps or pokemon go - I tried to install netflix and it worked, tried pokemon go and after granting GPS via privacy guard it worked too.
But still it seems that if I would now flash Xposed (which I didn't find a good build for 7.1.2 yet anyway) that it would actually then start tripping those protections and that I should go with "systemless root" via magisk.
How does magisk compare to superSU? I loved root some years ago because of xprivacy, adfree etc. which are actually modifying system files as far as I know and I would like to go as "extreme" as denying camera usage to apps, but not making them crash, so just like xprivacy has fake IMEI I would like to show just a black image served to the app, I remember there was an xposed module doing that, but how far can magisk compare there?
And most importantly is there a way to just hide superSU and xposed from all those detections?4
I am trying to apply for a student credit card. Should be relatively simple, but guess what: it isn't. First there was a question on your income. I didn't know if you had to include your student loan by issued by the goverment and after calling the bank, the answer seemed to be no. And the form didn't succeed because your income should be higher than 1 euro. So I've contacted the bank again and it seems that you could just fill in your student loan as income. Okay, so that should fix the problem. So I came very close to completing the form, gave the website me an error in the last step!
Update to previous rant: My e-banking account is blocked, because apparently I already set a password on a website I never seen before.
- Tried the declined one
- Tried the unsecure one I chossed after the declined one
- Tried the pin number from mobile app.
BAM@#%$#%!!1!one1! YOU ARE BLOCKED FOR ENTERING WRONG PASSWORD TOO MANY TIMES. PLEASE CALL THE FUCKING BANK ON MONDAY.
I seriously hate this stupid country, and companies that don't know a first thing about web getting picked on government and public sector projects, sucking 100s of thousands of euros and providing the user experience that gives you a fucking diarrhea, at every SINGLE ONE OUF THEM!1
Has anyone ever tried to send a message to a rep at PNC on their online banking?
-you can't write any 'special characters' in the message. This includes dashes, slashes, and even apostrophes ("don't" is not allowed!) among others. I guess they just pipe the message right into the SQL queries!
-I had to type a long message there, and I was tired and forgot to do my usual CTRL+A/CTRL+C ritual - BIG MISTAKE!! After clicking submit, I get a JS alert() come up saying that my session timed out after 15 minutes of inactivity (writing a large rant to PNC ofc). Back button does not bring up the filled out form to copy from, as like the whole site seems to be on the same URL. There was no way to exit the alert without losing the message. Thankfully I did not close the tab, and I was able to recover and piece together some of the text snippets using $ gcore / $ strings | less.
Overall this has to have been the worst web app I have dealt with for quite a while.3
Jesus fucking christ! I've been hired by this bank to improve the quality of their online banking software. Zero unit tests and I'm tasked to make it testable as much as possible.
Guess what? Almost the whole fucking codebase uses static classes everywhere!!! Good luck unit testing that.... what a bummer. It is a challenge though.2
They want you to go paperless (cos it saves them shit loads of money, and the shareholders like to count it all day long) not for environmental reasons. But their shitty, flakey online banking system is always down or having technical problems. Fucking sort it out!4
"Ideal" online banking:
1. Force users to change passwords often.
2. Implement possibility to login if forgot password.
3. Make it impossible to chage password if forgot one.9
Any good recommendation on learning the coding standards and the design principles that are needed to be followed while creating a large banking application?(java lang preferred)2
anyone else get second thoughts about their bank when they see this kind of message after logging in?
"Online Banking is unavailable
We are really sorry we are preventing you from completing your banking today. Our technical teams are aware and actively investigating. Please know they are working hard to restore service as soon as possible.
Please call us at 123-456-7890 for banking assistance or information."
Dunno why all Bank websites and app are very poor. Thanks to UPI now we are not locked down to poor apps for basic services.3
Start managing my bank accounts like they are git repos:
* account checkout -b venture/Some_Startup
* account add .
* account commit -m "Profits and Investments"
* account merge origin master
The most I have worked on something is 14 hours. It was for a university project, that involved creating a "banking" app that was intended to demonstrate the use of an SQL database. I had a partner, and we had done nothing about the project until the previous day. We started working at 5 PM and the demonstration was at 12 PM (noon) in the next day. We used PostgreSQL for the database, and C# and Windows forms for the GUI. My partner took on the database creation and I took on the GUI. I had minimal experience with C# and had never worked with Windows forms or DB bridging in a program. On top of it, lack of sleep hits me really hard, so by midnight I was just like a zombie with near zero focus capacity. As a result, I ended up rewriting numerous components with identical logic and appearance and some different elements that could be parameterized, simply because organizing my thoughts to write proper code was out of the question in my condition. The writing, debugging, testing and packing of the project ended at 7 AM, the morning of demonstration. I slept for 3 hours and then met with my partner and headed to uni. I never left a project for the last moment again. We ended up taking a 9/10 grade.1
My bank here in Philippines is having a glitch with there system since yesterday. the current balances of the depositors are not tally anymore and most annoying thing is they don't allow to withdraw money in their atm machines until now. I know its very difficult to fix this issue but we our need money in order to eat! 😢2
My bank's website is the shittiest fucking site in the world. It literally kills my phone, to the point where my browser takes a full 5 minutes to exit.
The latest bug I mean feature they have rolled out interrupts your login with a fullscreen modal which asks if you want the app or to continue on the site.
Well, the fact that I'm in a browser means I've already made up my mind so why don't you go and fuck yourself? And based on the quality of your website, do you really think I want to voluntarily install software that you've sellotaped together onto my device?
Go and fuck yourself you pieces of shit.2
I wanted to take small loan from bank I am loyal customer for 15 years to speed up things by month. I decided to pay money for it.
They have some online form for it and I filled it.
So what happened next ?
I got call to confirm every input I filled (heard keyboard typing every time I answered question).
I asked how long I will wait and got response that it will take couple of hours, max 2 days.
Just received another call 10 days later that they need documents to prove my income.
They got 15 years history of every operation and it looks like it means nothing.
I said to person I will earn this money faster then I get it from them so at this point this conversation is just waste of my time.
It’s 10 days left till end of month and I think it will be easier to just wait or ask friend for a favor.
Yet another reason to say fuck banks.
Time is money.2
I'm a designer and just found out about a hackathon by Deutsche Bank hosted at the end of October in Berlin. Are some devs out there interested in forming a team (and brainstorming about an idea, obviously)? Preferably from around Germany, since one has to pay travel costs on his/her own, but I'm open, really.
More information: https://api-open.db.com
Just hit me up if you're interested!
P.S. I'm not bad at getting some front-end development done...8
What are some job possibilities for software engineers that are a bit more challenging?
Software Engineering just became routine and with all the hin abstractions during the past years it’s not really a complex job anymore.
Thoughtful about data science but I think I’d get bored with that as well after a few years.
Looking for ideas with:
- technical skills
- have a lot if responsibility
- at least same pay
Would be interested in e.g. investment banking but that seems far out of my league (education wise)..9
My sister works in infosys on their banking product finacle, she wants to leave that job and pursue for ph.D is it worthy?2
Why in the FUCK does the NSLSC (company that lends out student loans) have as their ONLY method to update your banking information a .pdf that you print out online and physically mail in. Once they receive it–will take another 1-2 weeks (according to them) to update my banking information.
It's fucking 2019, every single service I've used to update any kind of information (from gym payments to government related information) can be done online through a secure, streamlined, fast, environmentally friendly and cost effective ONLINE FORM.1
I currently have an LG G4, which was a flagship phone of its time.
Now I'm considering buying a new one because this phone doesn't seem to like WiFi and my wifi doesn't seem to like the phone.
I don't think I want another flagship phone again, since all I've used this one for is email, telegram, conference apps, netradio, banking, devrant, Google music, pedometer. In the beginning I liked it had FM radio, but I'm not even using that anymore. And never used it for gaming (no blizzard, I don't want Diablo on mobile)
I don't want to throw lotta money at it.
So some of my requirements are: rootable, if possible changeable battery, great camera, latest Android version, exercise tracker of some sort.
Any alternative ideas for phones to look at or website that can give a list based on selections?10
I came across a website today when I was searching for some banking related stuff on Google and this is what happened...
Types search term in Google
Gets the results
Opens a result in a new tab
Finishes reading it and clicks back
Tab refreshes to go the website's home page (What!?)
Clicks back again
Refreshes to the same result page (seriously?)
Google home page (wtf?)
Website home page (again?)
Result page (NO! I'M DONE)
Closes the tab
What sort of wicked loop did I get myself into? Did the website devs ever think how frustrated it will be if they ever open their own page?
And what a clever technique to open Google home page for people who keep on pressing the back button! 👏👏 /s1
This is fucking how you do it!
Ticketmaster UK had a "data security incident" where they don't really know if any data was actually leaked/stolen/"accessed by an unknown third-party" — their response:
1. Disable the compromised service across their platforms
2. Send a mail to any customer that may have been affected (I got one in Danish because I had only interacted with them through a Danish subsidiary)
2b. All notified customers have their passwords reset and must go through the "Forgot password" process; the _temporary_ password they sent me was even pretty nicely random looking: ";~e&+oVX1RQOA`BNe4"
3. Do forensics and security reviews to understand how the data was compromised
3b. Take contact to relevant authorities, credit card companies, and banks
4. Establish a dedicated website (https://security.ticketmaster.co.uk/...) to explain the incident and answer customer questions
5. "We are offering impacted customers a free 12 month identity monitoring service with a leading provider. To request this service please visit [this page]"
EDIT: As mentioned and sourced in the first comment, the breach was apparently noticed by a banking provider and reported to Ticketmaster on the 12th of April and later to Mastercard on the 19th of April.
Ticketmaster's internal investigation found no evidence of breach (which makes sense, as it wasn't an internal breach), but when Mastercard issued an alert to banks about it on the 21st of June, Ticketmaster followed up by finding the actual breach and disabling the breached third party service on the 23rd of June.
I still think they did the right thing in the right way...2
did you already know about this?
i think this will be impressive!
A full programmable bank account for developers!!!
In banking industry it brings up security concerns. We were in the exact same situation, however using SAS+SPDE with some custom SAS and tsql queries. Our database was merely 100TB, still it was a nightmare to assure stable performance thoroughly, because SPDE could not properly handle SMT. After having 24h++ daily flow processing times, the managers have decided to rent a 6 years old IBM power 7 with dedicated processor cores, which eventually have truncated the processing time down to 15 hours. This was a time limited contract, for 6 months. I've left the company in a short while, but this made the managers to rethink buying a more up to date server, so now the daily processing flows now are around 11,5h. Long story short, sometimes a little architecture optimization does the trick.
Where to begin for writing à mobile payment API for m'y country (and countryside) ?
M'y wish IS to build a mobile payment API that would help everyone to pay online no matter what carrier the user 's subscribed to.9
Holy shit. Do NOT open a Wells Fargo banking account. On top of their ridiculous password limitations, your password is NOT CASE SENSITIVE. I tested. Caps lock, no caps, a mix, it doesn't matter.
More info on the password limitations at my other rant https://devrant.io/rants/905148/...3
These past few days were the first days in ages that I actually had time to work on a project. It is also the first time in ages that I pulled all nighters to code. Being reminded of the feeling of putting on some headphones and hacking away on this project was the best feeling I've ever had in so damn long. God I love programming.
If you wanted to know what the project is:
We got an end of year project in comp sci at school and we got a lot of freedom for what we were required to do so I got the idea of creating bank management software cause it seemed pretty simple. But then I started the project and realized how much more I could do with this. So I've been working on an entire bank management program including account creation, database creation, file encryption, payment options, and credit/debit card attaching. It is currently text based but I'd like to create a gui in the time we have left to finish. I'd also like to incorporate more features that come to mind.
Dear the devs at Danske Bank UK,
For the 4th time in 5 years I am going to send a error report to you and get my local branch to directly email you to complain about the lack of being able to see anything on my ISA on online banking, plus just fucking fix it,
I have come up with my greatest drunken idea, but I don't have the time. So I'm calling on you to make my dream come true. *dramatic music* Hanson Bot! The natural language dating site bot that poses as an underage girl, banking all interactions, setting a meet, and forwarding it to the local police. Chris Hanson... You thought you were safe... I'm gonna automate your job!1
Anyone work on alternative mainframe banking software? Like https://temenos.com/en/solutions/... It kinda looks just like software now, which is a good thing.2