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Joined devRant on 5/14/2016
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29-year veteran here. Began programming professionally in 1990, writing BASIC applications for an 8-bit Apple II+ computer. Learned Pascal, C, Clipper, COBOL. Ironic side-story: back then, my university colleagues and I used to make fun of old COBOL programmers. Fortunately, I never had to actually work with the language, but the knowledge allowed me to qualify for a decent job position, back in '92.
For a while, I worked with an IBM mainframe, using REXX and EXEC2 scripting languages for the VM/SP operating system. Then I began programming for the web, wrote my first dynamic web applications with cgi-bin shell and Perl scripts. Used the little-known IBM Net.Data scripting language. I finally learned PHP and settled with it for many, many years.
I always wanted to be a programmer. As a kid I dreamed of being like Kevin Flynn, of TRON - create world famous videogames and live upstairs my own arcade place! Later on, at some point, I was disappointed, I questioned my skills, I thought I should do more, I let other people's expectations make feel bad. Then I finally realized I actually enjoy a quieter, simpler life. And I made peace with it.
I'm now like the old programmers I used to mock 30 years ago. There's so much shit inside my brain. And everything seems so damn complex these days. Frameworks, package managers, transpilers, layers and more layers of code. I try to keep up. And the more I learn, the more it seems I don't know.
Sometimes I feel tired. Yet, I still enjoy creating things and solving problems with programming. I still have fun learning. And after all these years, I learned to be proud of my work, even if it didn't turn out to be as glamorous as in the movies.30 -
"Once you eliminate quality as a requirement, the entire design process becomes a whole lot easier. " - Jared M. Spool2
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“I don’t have time for the gym!”
But you have time for Netflix.
“I can’t afford to eat healthy!”
But you have time to eat out.
“I don’t have the money to invest!”
But you have money to spend on booze/cigarettes.
The problem isn’t your circumstances - the problem is just you.13 -
If you’re:
- Always tired
- Feeling lost
- Constantly bored
- Indifferent toward the future
Then it’s time to realize you’re going through life on autopilot without any passion.
Find what you’re passions are and pursue them with everything you have. Stop wasting yourself.13 -
From the Gods of The Stack Overflow for the pesants of the community:
https://goalkicker.com
Just go there. This is everything you have to know, ever.56 -
Some empty-headed helpdesk girl skipped into our office yesterday afternoon, despite the big scary warning signs glued to the door.
"Hey, when I log in on my phone, the menu is looking weird"
"Uh... look at my beard"
"What"
"Just look at this beard!"
"Uh.... OK"
"Does this look like a perfectly groomed beard"
"Uh... it's pretty nice I guess"
"You don't have to lie"
She looks puzzled: "OK... maybe it could use a little trimming. Uh... a lot of trimming". "I still like it though" she adds, trying hard to be polite.
"I understand you just started working here. But the beard... the beard should make it clear. See the office opposite to this one?"
"Yeah"
"Perfectly groomed ginger beards. It's all stylish shawls and smiles and spinach smoothies. Those people are known as frontend developers, they care about pixels and menus. Now look at my beard. It is dark and wild, it has some gray stress hairs, and if you take a deep breath it smells like dust and cognac mixed with the tears caused by failed deploys. Nothing personal, but I don't give a fuck what a menu looks like on your phone."
She looked around, and noticed the other 2 tired looking guys with unshaven hobo chins. To her credit, she pointed at the woman in the corner: "What about her, she doesn't seem to have a beard"
Yulia, 1.9m long muscled database admin from Ukraine, lets out a heavy sigh. "I do not know you well enough yet to show you where I grow my unkempt graying hairs... . Now get lost divchyna."
Helpdesk girl leaves the scene.
Joanna, machine learning dev, walks in: "I saw a confused blonde lost in the hallway, did you give her the beard speech?"
"Yeah" -- couldn't hold back a giggle -- "haha now she'll come to you"
Joanna: "No I already took care of it"
"How?"
"She started about some stupid menu, so I just told her to smell my cup". Joanna, functional alcoholic, is holding her 4pm Irish coffee. "I think this living up to our stereotype tactic is working, because the girl laughed and nodded like she understood, and ran off to the design department"
Me: "I do miss shaving though"68 -
"Never undervalue yourself or let anyone else undervalue you."
"Learn to say no."
Same person during my first contract, where I was working insane hours for very little pay. -
"Engineers don't memorize documentation. They know how to use it."
Programming felt insurmountable to me before I started with it. This phrase blew my mind and changed my approach entirely.3 -
Bad dev habit to unlearn:
Impostor syndrome before starting a project.
Don't think a lot before diving into a tough project. Just jump in. If you second guess yourself about being ready, you'll never do it. Either you're already good enough or you'll figure out what you need.
I wasted way too much time before starting to write an AI chess engine but it turned out a lot simpler than I expected.2 -
25 phrases you wish you could say at work more often
(Warning: Contains naughty words...:-)))
1. Ahhh...I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again...
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
10. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
11. I like you. You remind me of me when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. No, my powers can only be used for good.
24. You sound reasonable... Time to up the medication.
25. Who me? I just wander from room to room17 -
- Hello! Gordon's pizza?
- No sir it's Google's pizza.
- So it's a wrong number?
- No sir, Google bought it.
- OK. Take my order please ..
- Well sir, you want the usual?
- The usual? You know me?
- According to our caller ID, in the last 12 times, you ordered pizza with cheeses, sausage, thick crust
- OK! This is it
- May I suggest to you this time ricotta, arugula with dry tomato?
- No, I hate vegetables
- But your cholesterol is not good
- How do you know?
- Through the subscribers guide. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years
- Okay, but I do not want this pizza, I already take medicine
- You have not taken the medicine regularly, 4 months ago, you only purchased a box with 30 tablets at Drugsale Network
- I bought more from another drugstore
- It's not showing on your credit card
- I paid in cash
- But you did not withdraw that much cash according to your bank statement
- I have other source of cash
- This is not showing as per you last Tax form unless you got it from undeclared income source
-WHAT THE HELL? Enough! I'm sick of Google, Facebook, twitter, WhatsApp. I'm going to an Island without internet,where there is no cell phone line and no one to spy on me
- I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport as it has expired 5 weeks ago..42 -
Playing way too many games when I was younger I realised I could do work with computers as a job if spent that time teaching myself.
Uninstalled Windows to stop temptation, hellooooo Linux6 -
I propose a list of interesting readings. Not limited to developing.
Yes, I'm in need of something new to read...
I'll start in the comments, feel free to comment new readings or critique the ones proposed.29 -
Recipe for a Great Programmer:
Ingredients:
-Books for a computer science curriculum from a top university
-Computer
-Headphones
-Internet
-Stress ball
-Pillow
-Lighter fluid
-Food
Directions:
1. Cover computer science books with lighter fluid
2. Light books on fire
3. Use flames to cook an energy-rich meal for the thousands of hours ahead
4. Pick an IDE
5. Choose a project beyond current capabilities. Good ways to push boundaries:
- Unfamiliar domain (e.g. large scale data processing, UI programming, high performance computing, games)
- Exotic programming language
- Larger in scope than any project before
6. Shut up about your IDE
7. Attempt to build
8. Stop procrastinating on Hacker News
9. Re-attempt to build
10. Squeeze stress ball and scream into pillow as necessary to keep sanity
When stuck:
- Paste stack traces into Google
- Find appropriate mailing list to get guidance
- Realize that real learning happens when you are stuck, uncomfortable, and/or frustrated
- Seek out books, classes, or other resources AFTER you have a good understanding of your deficiencies
11. Repeat #4 to #10 for at least 10 years
12. Results guaranteed! (to the same extent static types guarantee bug-free programs)
source: nathanmarz.com4 -
So I'm a new junior dev, been working for around 4 months.
What's some advice from you've learnt from experience that you would give to someone in my position?
For context, I taught myself Java a while ago, was taught Python and some PHP recently and have patchy self taught knowledge of JavaScript.
So no degree and minimal formal training!
I have done 3 or so months of Ruby (self taught) doing back end web dev with Rails and soon am going to get involved with a small PHP and front end built from scratch.6 -
Don't work late/during the weekend because someone else committed to an impossible deadline. Trust me. It's not worth it.3
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My favorite part of being a developer is that no matter what craziness is going on in my life I can put on my headphones and lose myself in logical problem solving.1
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One of the project manager came to one of our senior pro developer to say something. Before he even said anything the senior dev said:
Oh Fuck, not you again!
The pm politely left the area5 -
One of the project manager came to one of our senior pro developer to say something. Before he even said anything the senior dev said:
Oh Fuck, not you again!
The pm politely left the area5 -
Do something brainless.
Like taking a shit.
Showering.
Hear music loud and dance.
Talk to people but don't listen.
Surf in the internet.
Masturbation.
Sport.
Take a walk.
Watch TV.
Cook.
And so on and so on.
Most of them are doable for hobby projects at home. Some are also suitable for work. Choose appropriately.
But if I am stuck, then continueing to try solve the problem most often keeps me stuck. So doing something else is my solution. So far it worked well.10 -
My GitHub repository now has 6 watchs, 17 stars and 4 forks. I feel like I've accomplished everything I've ever wanted in life 😛14