Not his fault. 😂😂

🎶 He's making a list
He's testing it twice
SELECT * FROM users WHERE behavior="nice"
SQL-clause is coming
To town. 🎶

😂😂😂😂😂

Have you ever wondered we programmers have so many strong communities.... Stackoverflow, devRant, Reditt, etc...
No other profession has such communities... Why? Why?
Because, we haven't built one for them.... 😂😁

Looking for a job as a deveoper be like:

Job title: car driver

Job requirements: professional skills in driving normal- and heavy-freight cars, buses and trucks, trolley buses, trams, subways, tractors, shovel diggers, contemporary light and heavy tanks currently in use by NATO countries.

Skills in rally and extreme driving are obligatory!
Formula-1 driving experience is a plus.

Knowledge and experience in repairing of piston and rotor/Wankel engines, automatic and manual transmissions, ignition systems, board computer, ABS, ABD, GPS and car-audio systems by world-known manufacturers - obligatory!

Experience with car-painting and tinsmith tasks is a plus.

The applicants must have certificates by BMW, General Motors and Bosch, but not older than two years.

Compensation: $15-$20/hour, depends on the interview result.

Education requirements: Bachelor's Degree of Engineering.

When a programmer and designer meet in tinder

I feel like this stress ball judges every line you type out

New private business cards just arrived. The front page is a sticker, too. Love it!

Worst meeting. Hmm..

Embarrassment wise maybe the one where my boss called me the queen of porn in front of everyone. Yes, classy AF. (Just have to know him to know his sense of humor I guess).

Most cringe worthy meeting was probably when our out of state national director came in and basically told us he has no clue what we do nor does her care to learn. We brought up salaries to him as well as we're in the bottom 8th percentile for the industry in our area with HUMONGOUS work loads, like 20 sites per developer at once. This is a huge multi-million dollar corporation, mind you. We told him some of us have to have 3 jobs to survive and he basically said well you're an at will employee so there's the door. He also took phone calls and sent emails during my one on one meeting which we never finished even though he promised to. But he bought us a shirt, so you know, it's all cool. 🙄

R, matey

In my company we developped a tool where we enter the average salary of all members of the meeting and then let a timer run which would show how much money the company spent on that specific meeting.
Needless to say that meetings were way shorter after that

Girl: we need to talk

Me: OK

Girl: you seem to have more time for your computer than me. I want to know how important I am to you.

Me: You are the number 1 in my life.

Girl: *smiles and hugs me*

Me: (thinking)...Just that I start counting from 0

Found this in our codebase, apparently one of my co-workers had written this

Updated my PC this morning, now it thinks I have 7 monitors (I have 3 and only 1 is working now). This is going to be a fun morning...

When you get appreciation for the code that you took from Stackoverflow be like... 😂😂

FUCK YOU TICKETMASTER AND YOUR SHITTY WEBSITE.

Why can't you process my request during an EXPECTED WINDOW OF HIGH TRAFFIC?!

DO YOU EVEN LOAD BALANCE, BRO?!

I missed my chance to buy some Hans Zimmer tickets for the ONLY time I've ever seen him listed in my city. I had the tickets in my cart, but it errored out upon checking out. Then, every other attempt to search for tickets resulted in an error.

GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!!!!

One day, Hans... One day I will see you. 😢

You realize you complain too much about shitty websites when even your wife, while surfing from her phone, begins saying "this website sucks"...

That moment when you realise you sit in front of a computer all day at work to afford sitting in front of a computer all night at home.

Any js framework to me by far...

Love devRant it's like Twitter for geeks. Don't need to follow anyone and no politics.

bizarrely

:) me in some parallel universe ..

Can't find the on button

The constant feeling that devs online are far better than myself.

Nothing more to say.

Story of every IT office

When your shower has more GitHub commits than you

!rant
Me to my bf: You smell. Go shower.
Him: I don't feel like it...
Me: Sudo go shower.
Him: Goddamn it Rudi..
*wait for it*
*He showers*
Me: *evil chuckle* I gotta post this to devRant

I haven't opened my laptop all day for the first time in 2.5 months. Feels damn good. Got some good laughs today out of devrant; thanks everyone.