Most embarrassing and lucky moment on the first week of job.

Me and my best friend were selected in the same company as developers. I was having some trouble with my system. So I mailed the description to our support department. Pop up was displayed from our chat client and person on the other end happened to be a lady. She wanted me to share a team viewer link with click access. So I did it and within 2 minutes of efforts she solved it. I thanked her, closed the chat conversation and started installing few packages. Meanwhile, I was curious to see her as she was really nice throughout the conversation. So I opened LinkedIn, searched for her name and found her profile. I zoomed in her photo and she was a pretty chick. I didn't stop and found her on FB too, and quickly saw all her DPs. I just copied her profile URL and sent it to my friend ( the one that got selected with me ) and told him about my conversation with her. Then I asked my friend
"She's hot. Should I send her a friend request or have to find some more troubles in my pc and talk to her few more times ? :P "
He replied "Dude what are you wanting for ? "
Out of no where, a pop up showed up. It was the girl we were talking about. The exact message was

"You can now close your team viewer session, and we can talk over FB :)"

Embarrassing AF!

How to break a chatbot (well done).

"Look it's people"

Me: *hours of coding, develops a feature*
Code: I'm working..
Me: Oh good.. will monitor you for sometime.
Code: Ok, I'm done. I'll stop working now.
Me: WTF

Me: *sits for hours to solve bugs*
And when almost done,
VPN: Someone's having a good day, I'll disconnect you now.
Me: WTF

Me: *tries switching on/off VPN couple of times..*
When it starts to connect,
WIFI: Oh wait!! It's my turn to bid goodbye now. Have a nice day sir
Me: Of course !! The wifi

Me: *restarts router/ troubleshoot etc*
When wifi says connected...
Battery: Good job with wifi.. I'm down now..what you gonna do?
Me: Are you fucking kidding me???

Me: *connects charger, wait for laptop to switch on*
Windows: Updating....
Me: *jumps out window*

When your Boss is a programmer & humorous at the same time... :/

You guys are scared about net neutrality?
Worry not, I got the solution to this.

To new beginnings

Seen in Amsterdam, getting on a ferry.

When a programmer and designer meet in tinder

And when I was busy wasting my time on my girlfriend who is my ex now, my friends were busy coding an AI chat-bot. Now, I use their chat-bot to talk to when lonely.

Moral :
Girlfriends ditch you.... code doesn't. Love code.

at least not public void I guess..

My sister in law got me this guy for Christmas after I told her about devrant!

She found it in a rubber duck shop in Amsterdam.

Best sister in law!

oh my god they have a cat that looks just like mine

its even chonky just like he is

i want it so bad
(its the orange one)

Me: Hmm, let's check what's the issue with this styles... Seems like nothing special...

*15 minutes later*

Me: Well, now that's just fine, now i'm closin' this one and commitin'...
Wait, what the...?

/* frontend-developer's day rubric. devrant edition */

When the company uses slack, why the project lead want to create a WhatsApp group ??!!?

bold of them to assume i have such good posture

My mentor is a GOD. He's a workaholic. He knows everything. The only fucking thing he doesn't know is that his MENTEES ARE NOT HIS FUCKING SLAVES.

Hello devRanters! A little while ago some ranters and I who are all passionate about FOSS/Linux decided to get together in a chatroom. Slowly more people are coming in but just wanted to post this in case any foss/linux liking people would like to join! I am not even sure if this is allowed on devRant (posting something like this) so if not, my apologies and I will remove the rant!

Keep in mind that the chat exists for people who are very keen on FOSS/Linux/security/privacy so no offense but it probably isn't the best place for people who don't like/care about that stuff :).

Learn you some Javascript

heres a pen doodle i did a few days ago

Eyyyyy

Our "monitoring" today.

It's weird. I started a little chat with like minded foss/linux lovers and i started it with me and three other devRanters and now we are growing so fast! Weird but proud that I brought a lot of like minded people together 😊

My own text mmorpg and it's selfmade Chat system! <3

Yeah it's barebones and has some flaws, but its the first project I set an worked through with a very pleasing result ^^

It's a CLI-Style interface with a command and chat mode, multiple rooms, user descriptions etc.

Some day I want to improve it even further, bring much more functionality in the mix, but first I would have to reinforce the base/core of the program ^^

Most of my code solutions came to me while I'm in the shower
🚽🚽

Hit like if you think devRant should add a chatting feature

Let me tell you a story.

Our company has a homegrown monitoring solution. Keeps track of our deployments and alerts us when something is broken. Really nice for the most part, except a little issue where we get up to 25 alerts PER DAY that our PRODUCTION ENVIRONMENT IS DOWN. Including weekends.

With this many false positives, we quickly learn to ignore the alerts and miss real incidents.

So we approached this team, remember its our own tool, and told them about the problem. Turns out it is a known issue. And here's the kicker: they aren't planning on fixing it!

It gets better. Rather than fix this glaring issue, their solution is to make ANOTHER ALERT that lets us know the monitoring is misbehaving.

To recap, we can now expect to get up to 25 false positive alerts per day that our production is down, followed immediately by more alerts that the monitor is broken, which means we can ignore the previous alert.

As our PM said when he heard this: fuck that noise. We are escalating the shit out of this!

*spends a long time crafting a huge eBay post (we're moving)
* tries to drag and drop first picture
* page navigates to the picture without warning
* loses everything

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

WHEN DRAGGING A PICTURE INTO A WEB PAGE I NEVER WANT TO NAVIGATE TO A PAGE WITH JUST THAT IMAGE. WHY NO WARNING BEFORE LEAVING THE PAGE. WHY DON'T YOU SAVE TEXT LOCALLY. WHY DOES THE WEB SUCK SO HARD. AAAGGGHHHH.

* feels better
* starts over

We all work on the same room: Devs and testers.
In order to communicate with each other without taking off our earphones, we use the chat app.
Ok, sometimes the chat app has delay sending messages.

I really, really hate when one of the testers comes to my desk without telling me he's coming to my desk! >:v and this is the reason why I hate it so much: I'm concentrate in my code, listening to ASP or SPA and, suddenly, I feel a heavy presence behind my monitors. I look up and I see a very penetrating gaze from the corpulent tester looking at me (he's tall). Every time he does that I almost have a heart attack D:

"There's a bug I want you to check" he says.
And I check my chat app if there's a delayed message from him. Nothing, NOTHING >:v

Always, when I want to go to his desk, I send him a message

"Is it ok if I go to your desk?" and he says me "You don't have to ask for it, just come here" but the thing is that I do that because I expect him to do the same :/

Fortunately this doesn't happen every day, but it pisses me off, and I don't know how to tell him to stop doing that because I don't want to be like a... jerk? intolerant? I don't know

i just grated my finger by accident while trying to grate some cheese

god i fucking hate trying to finish grating the small chunk at the end

I get bothered when I hear someone say "my program is refusing to do x". The program is doing exactly what you have told it to do.

TL;DR — Never ever use work chat to gossip about work. NEVER.

—

Just some minutes ago, my boss asked a mate to move aside from his computer and began checking out some docs.

By the tone he used, I assumed something was wrong, I stood from my workplace and went to grab something from the kitchen. Came back and he was looking through a thread in slack between a mate and another work mate.

I thought he was going to send something to himself but then he asked me if I could help printing out the screen. Took a quick look and they were talking shit about him.

Now, it'll be an awkward silence until I go home and those two stay to argue about that thread.

Sheez.

We all make mistakes

I love it!!!

Netflix, why is your loading spinner so horrible!

Do you know what a percentage is??? 99% means you are ALMOST done. Just a tiny fraction to go. I should not see 99% for seconds or even minutes on end. Much less after the first 98% took only a couple seconds!!

Stop the lies!!!

i once (year 2000) created a chat application in microsoft excel

Just went through my first week of working while on chemo. Life is hell and I'm contemplating not being a part of it anymore. It's only going to get worse and worse.

I JUST GOT AN OFFER. God has blessed me. I also found out I have cancer a couple weeks ago. What a confusing time this is lol.

I just hate it when clients with no knowledge of developing says I'm looking for "more professional"

FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!

Somebody did that with dedication and you can't just call it that!!

SCREW YOU!!!
😡😡😡😡😡

2 days into a new java project and I already miss scala so much.

Dumbest request?
Email piping chat system.

The chat system had to take replies from web and send them to an email, which the admin user can reply back via email and it publishes straight into the chat.

It was all fun and games until they wanted HTML based emails and content going back and forth, and attachments going both ways.

My company just announced we are leaving Slack for Google Chat because it is a "superior" (and cheaper) tool.

FML

My new fitbit reminds me take 250 steps each hour. When I do stop and take a walk, I find it helps my productivity, and I feel better. However, I'm not good at keeping to it.

It's always the same story.

"Quiet you, I'll get up and walk once I finish this one thing".

...

Another hour goes by.

If only I could keep to my own convictions.

I spent more than an hour trying trying to debug why two functions were always returning undefined. I even put in conditional breakpoints and executed the statements to confirm the logic was correct.

I forgot return.

I hate Skype for Business with a passion. It's the most garbage useless chat program imaginable. It can barely send basic text chats without throwing an error, and it can almost never send an image without the upload failing. The fact that it can't even save conversation history for each of your chats within Skype is ridiculous -- it fucking saves the conversation as an email draft in Outlook. Come on Microsoft, why do I have to open a completely separate program to view conversation history?! Skype conversation history should be saved IN SKYPE! Fucking AIM was able to save conversation history. I've tried multiple times to get the company to move to Slack or Teams, and for some reason they think that Skype is a good program and they ignore the fact that it's completely useless. It's 2019, why are we using a program that's built like it's 2009? I swear they haven't updated Skype at all in the last decade

Last year the rewrite of an ancient system (VB6/mainframe COBOL) was started. Instead of moving to modern architecture management decided to rewrite the app's functionality into our last gen WinForms client/server arch. I set up a meeting to present alternatives and plead for some level of modernization. After presenting and asking management to plan for five to ten years in the future instead of just this year's budget my director said, "In five to ten years I'll be retired on a beach in Tahiti and this will be your problem to solve." It was the last straw and I left the company shortly after. Last week I found out the director was force retired out of the company. I sent her a congratulations slip and a cocktail umbrella with "Tahiti" written on it.

my pet rat died today...
she had a tumor under her left arm and my mom had to take her to the vet to put her to sleep...
her name was Kirby and she was 3 years old.
i miss her already and i cant stop crying..

i wish i had spent more time with her.

In the past, we used skype, hipchat, slack and now ... Microsoft Teams. What a tool.

Yes Teams, it makes total sense to tell me that my message is too long. I totally get it that you want me to rewrite my message and yes Teams, I should have rather attached it as a file to my message to begin with. Yes Teams, I wait for you to finish uploading those files before I can send the message. I'm sure there would be disastrous consequences if you send the message with my attached files as soon as you finished uploading. I don't even want to be productive. Thanks for helping me out.

i woke up on thursday covered in moles.........

Finally my fidget cube arrived

Slack culture.

Yes, the chat application.

Fuck it, fuck mattermost, HipChat, Skype, and whatever other digital text medium for team communication.

These are great applications, but used for great evil. They feed cliques and passive aggressive "side" conversations. Every team I've been on has something like this, and it allows people to cultivate hate for one another even though they're sitting in the same room.

Texting allows you to complain about a coworker to your clique. Each clique can have it's own thread. This empowers people to silently rip into other team members. It prevents rational adult conversations and builds stupid little secret societies.

Thank God the week 233 rants are over - was getting sick of elitist internet losers.

The worst security bug I saw was when I first started work as a dev in Angular almost year ago. Despite the code being a couple of years old, the links to the data on firebase had 0 rules concerning user access, all data basically publicly available, the API keys were uploaded on GitHub, and even the auth guard didn't work. A proper mess that still gives me the night spooks to this day.

i got my first dose of the covid vaccine yesterday

you know when you lose something really important to you, and you destroy your whole house looking for it and still cant find it? and you have a massive panic attack and pass out? and you get violent while looking for it? and you are looking for it for a month an a half? and it turns out it was right in front of you the ENTIRE time? well that happened to me. the most interesting element in my collection. part of my most prized possesion. my tube of gallium. i lost it on febuary 19. i found it today. it was under a pillow. a fucking pillow. that was on a bench. that i have sat on multiple times over the past month. that my cat has used as a launch pad to get up on the top counter. it was right in front of me the ENTIRE fucking time. i literally passed out while i was having a massive panic attack the wednesday after i lost it. i was so stressed out i broke out in hives. it was the first time i ever passed out. and my whole house was a fucking mess while i looked for it. my god i am so mad at myself.

Yaay, after several hours of tinkering I finally got a simple chat over TCP working in rust. I'm happy, I like rust :)

I called customer support for an unnamed site.
I: I don't seen it when I refresh page
Support: press CTRL + f5
I: I tried, I still bad
Support: remove memory from your computer and reinsert it. Then it will go.

Wtf, Best support ever :)

I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! I GOT THE CAT!!!!!!!! o(≧▽≦)o
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! THANKS GUYS!!!

Well I don’t think I can talk to a dead person namecheap.

Coding has given me the ability to turn my favorite hobby into a career. This in turn gave me the chance to take jobs in three countries so far (US, Germany, UK). So, I can explore the world with lovely wife while doing something I'm really passionate about and constantly learning. It also allows me to relate more to my dad, a software engineer of about 30 years who got me started when I was a kid.

In short, coding changed everything for me.

PS: I met my wife in intro to CS, though she's not a developer.

Google DevFest Sri Lanka

When your company buys a third party solution and you spend all your time emailing them about bugs in their system.

Seriously, I even sent you the exact line of the bug in your JavaScript with a suggested solution, and deployed a new stack with your latest (broken) fix so you can test out that solution. Then you email back saying it is fixed but it is clearly still broken. If I email you a fixed version of your file will you deploy it? OMG!

Home desktop setup

I'll be honest I couldn't care less about ++ I'm here for the discussion , devs generally have something interesting to say

I'm starting my new job in 10 days, but I don't have the proper internet access to feel really confident about it. My parents want me to move out of the house so they don't have to accommodate for my new job. I'm getting chemo in a few weeks. I'm really sick of fighting shit. Trusting in the plan though.

the deed has been done.

i can now consume the demon that possessed this jar of talenti.

(sorry the pic sucks, the lighting is terrible in here)

If an orange costs $6 and a grape costs $4, how much does a pineapple cost?

i should be cleaning my roim right now but nah. fuck it. my mom might be pissed, but at least my room is a LOT cleaner than it used to be! (the before pic is attatched, the right now one is in comments)

I feel like technologies should spend wayyyy more time on making examples rather than ridiculously verbose documentation.

here is more of the boi
(more in comments!)

My #developer stater pack!

I wish professional health knowledge was more open source like software

Hey hens I'm back on my crack.

How have you all been? Tell me what I've missed (presumably not much as you've all been locked indoors for a while now but hey ho)

I'll be handed a paper soon that says I can write code so I have that going for me (that's also where I've been for the past while)

When you have to stay awake at nights just to support more timezones and chat..:/

I try to convince my boss to choose Slack and not Microsoft teams.
What's your opinion on these apps ?

When you try to clap in a presentation while holding coffee and spill it all over yourself.

From this day onwards I'm following this technique

oh my god im almost at 500 ++'s–
when did that happen, i was gone for like, a week-
wow.
anyway, there is glitter everywhere. i dont know how it escaped the container that was hot glued shut. all i know is that it is multiplying. and it probably is producing...POWDERED GLITTER. the one time i had that stuff was when i ws 6...i still have it in my hair. im 13. i am scared and confused, where the fuck did all this glitter come from? the only container in the house is glued shut, and the amount inside hasnt changed. and somehow there is more glitter everywhere than there is in the container. and nobody can possibly have done it because my room has been locked whenever someone is downstairs. i am afraid and confused. save me from this curse

I don't know how some of y'all can code like 14 hours a day that shit is crazy

Do you guys have private chat community among your workmates?

Here at the company in working in, we have an official WhatsApp group created by our boss. That group is practically dead and boss is the only guy who occasionally posts anything. That is expected.

Then we have another WhatsApp group among us employees and boss or someone of that level is not invited in it. It's pretty active and fun group.

Then we have guys only group which is intended for guy talk and nsfw happens to be a part of it. Nothing surprising about that.

Similarly, girls also have their own exclusive group for their own stuffs.

I think it's inevitable and customary that such chat groups would be formed among workmates or classmates.

Anyway Just wondering, is this case same for you?... esp for people in US?

Chat apps. What's the idea? Those are basically tools of violence. They give you a possibility to in real-time stop someones work and start demanding service. Now. Immediately.

Usually people send you first email and then they after 10 seconds chat "did you see my email?? read it! serve it! please me!" Usually it's just a small request to document something, review someone else's document. Do it ASAP. If you were coding something, then drop it and do someones job for them instead.

You got a request for me to create some verification case list? Put it into my backlog. I might start doing that in week or two. Or month. In case there's nothing else more important. Since I know that you are working with something that you think is the whole universe, but trust me, I got my own problems already.

But hey, if I don't reply to your chat in a minute, please feel free to walk behind me and start explaining your life. No need to wait even for me to get my headphones off. "Oh you are in conf call? Well, this is just a quick thing blaa blaa..."

Fucking useless bots.

I need a bit of help in getting some documents from my University, so I go into their site and they have a WhatsApp support number. Perfect, I think to myself. So I send them a message with my question and a fucking bot answers me with a list of categories for my question, none of them matching my question. So I answer the "Other" option and it just sends me a FAQ link. Like what the actual fuck? I contacted the fucking number because I need help from a damn human, not a fucking FAQ link you useless waste of server resources.

I’ve a friend works for live chat team.
He told me the most asked question is:
“Are you robot?”

i put a chicken nugget on my cat

I think I failed my first interview of the week 😔

When you make a mistake and try to fix it, but you can't remember how to spell amend...

git commit --ammend
error: unknown command `amend'

git commit -ammend
[branch-name] mend

Huh?

git log
commit #
mend

Created a new commit with message 'mend'. Now to clean this all up and go get some sleep!

meow.

meeeeooooowww

MOOOW?
MRROOOW
MEOW MEW

MEEEEOOOOWW

my cat just wanted to tell you something, thats all

I think the amount of cringy shit on devrant today has already surpassed the maximum level. Everyone go outside.

Years ago, one of my friends in college was taking an intro to CS class. He asked me for help on one of his assignments. It was a simple Python program, but it wasn't running as expected. I go in figuring it will be easy to fix. But everything looks exactly right. An hour later I'm tearing my hair out! It isn't even entering the function although it's clearly called. I'm beginning to feel very self conscious, as a CS major who can't even debug a 15 line program for a friend.

Then it hit me. This is Python. I used an editor macro to convert all indentation to tabs, lined them up, and it ran on the first try. Turns out, he had somehow ended up with a mixture of tabs and spaces.

I'm not sure what the takeaway is, but I think he got a surprisingly honest introduction to the life of a developer...

How do you guys do all of this and have families and be good people y'all are absolute champions.

Ok I now see why you all hate meetings so much. I am so pissed.

dont you hate when you get a really good idea, and then realize you dont have the skills to do it? i just got an idea for a little program but i barely know anything about code ;-;

i guess ill have to work on my course some more

gosh, dont you just love how you get notified every time someone says something or likes something?

If 13 hour days on Friday are the norm, I'm going to have to go back to the drawing board. Fuck that.

Is there an debugger duck AI?

Just an AI to chat while you debug

!rant

Super awesome day today.

1. Got up early to do a risky production deploy and it worked!
2. Three PRs approved before lunch.
3. Got some time to continue learning scala.
4. Coffee and cupcakes with some refugees and discussed work as a software engineer.
5. Tried virtual reality for the first time. Really fun.
6. Helped prepare our goals for this quarter and present them to the department.
7. Department meeting had free local craft beer and pretzels.
8. Went bouldering after work and flashed a 6c.
9. Curled up with my wife watching Netflix.

I really love my life sometimes.

Tomorrow I might just say fuck it and make a blanket fort office

well, im finally doing it. i just began a little JavaScript course online. its too easy and im already losing motivation :(
but eh, at least i can do this
alert('AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA');

This is a great feature if you don't have any friends

My sister is psychic

PSA: negate your tests and make sure they fail!

I have what I thought was a weird and slightly paranoid habit. When I write tests sometimes just as a sanity check negate the assertion to make sure the test fails and isn't a false positive. Almost always fails as expected.

But not today! Turns out I had forgotten to wrap my equality check in an assertion so it would always pass. It freaks me out to imagine pushing a test that always passes not just because it doesn't do its job, but could also obscure a bug and trick me into thinking it works differently than it does. Broken tests are the worst!

But it pays to be paranoid.

"Can you check what my password is?"

At age 6 I was deemed as an idiot savant. Coding is boring for me now. Age 7-10: I worked for an underground agency that was focused on harvesting people's organ data from MRI machines to predict the economic future. 10-14: I experimented with smoking crack to increase finger efficiency. Since then I've quit, and I've been living in Miami trying to create a lofi industrial folk album using nothing but a TI-84, some wire, and an old fender amp.

ok, securly. lets fucking talk. so, i go to click the link in a google search for the wiki fandom page for a SCIENCE game, and it says "fuck you, nerd, we're gonna block you from an educational game's fandom page. because 'games' ". so, i go click the link for another fandom, and it is a non-educational game, and what do you know? its NOT BLOCKED. so, the Atomas fandom is blocked, but the Antimatter Dimensions fandom isnt. ok, now, lets talk about the stupid fucking safesearch. so, im doing a reasearch paper, and its 50% of my grade. i google every possible phrase i can think of to find good, credible sources for the reasearch. i scan all 43078657 pages of each search. EVERY SINGLE LINK IS EITHER UNRELATED TO MY SEARCH, OR ITS FUCKING BLOCKED. and the images? they have NOTHING to do with my search. i google 'frog images' and it comes up with pictures of fucking LAMPS. i search for cat images, and it gives me fucking BOOKS. securly severely impacts day to day life, and hurts my grades. it makes me want to curl up in a ball and scream. (im not gonna say what else i feel like doing, because im typing this from the stupid chromebook with securly on it.). i cant do anything at all. if i want to mess with a webpage for fun, or to fix microsoft teams coz its broken(like ALWAYS), if i right click, BOOM, 'inspect' is grayed out. they somehow patched every single bypass method. i had two accounts on this thing, so i could log in to important stuff like gmail with my personal account. and one day, right in the middle of me making a draft of a rant using my own account, they disabled it, so i lost everything. and i couldnt get back in, because it was a google service, and you have to have the account added to the computer to be able to use the acct. so i lost all 27 pages of my rant, and i fucking swear, i threw the computer on the ground so damn hard, im still shocked it didnt break. but because securly blocked discord, gmail, quora, and all that useful stuff, my grades have gone from 30% F's to 0% F's. all because i cannot message my friend to get help on an assignment(i dont have a phone), and i cant use quora to tell me how to do something that i NEED for the assignment, otherwise i fail. and the answer isnt anywhere else. now, youtube. securly forces restricted mode. and it makes it even stricter. so now, all that you can watch on youtube is toddler entertainment, shitty math tutorials, cringe ELA vids, and if it so much as says a word that halfway sounds like a bad word, its restricted. you cant do ANYTHING on these things except get severe migraines from trying to resist the temptation to smash the computer with a sledgehammer. change(.)org is also, you guessed it, BLOCKED.

i am scared of talenti

ive been trying to open this one jar of mango sorbetto, and it wont budge. so i put half a baloon over the lid, then did my best to get an old(clean!) sock over that. i put another balloon half on the bottom, and i try to twist the lid as hard as i can. it didnt even move, so i took off the sock and......the balloon half is gone. i check inside the socke and---its not there. so not only does this talenti jar want to kill me with the crazy things im trying to open it, but it also makes balloons dissapear from your socks. (O_o)

how the hell do i open this thing???? i cant cut it because i stole it from my mom. the hot water trick hasnt worked, and neither has smacking it with a hammer. rubberized stuff didnt work, it just ripped. using tape just ripped the tape. nothing is working. one night my hands started bleeding because of this fucking jar.

12 days left of school. 20 assignments to complete. its not possible to go from all F's to passing in 12 days

Power cut at the office now I have to talk to my coworkers!!! 🙄😶😑

me: *signs up for devrant thinking its just a plain old rant site*
devrant: what are your coding skills, newcomer
me: i hacked my tabby cat page using inspect and i successfully got it to be a rainbow space casper cat named chicken nugget, does that count?

huh, repeating digits

i'm hungry

Heathrow express having some trouble this morning.

Hail Linux!

I kno my strengths

Is it just me, or are web chatbots actually really annoying and way too intrusive. It's like "omg look guys we have a ChatBot, we can do really cool technical stuff!" If a ChatBot can't ease my oversized heap of depression, I do not want to talk to it.

Today's my company's official final day with Slack.

Starting tomorrow it's nothing but the "superior" Google Chat. I will have no choice but to join the others who have already migrated over.

FML

It also mean I won't have any access to messaging outside the office because I don't want to accept the security certs on my phone.

Fuck those people who make you feel negative about yourself. I hope everyone has a good upcoming week.

my sleep schedule is more fucked up than my room

i usually fall asleep between 1 and 3 am. i somehow manage to pull all-nighters even though im laying in bed, in the dark, no sound, and STILL somehow dont fall asleep. my mind isnt even out of control. i havent slept for the past 3 days and i am FINALLY feeling tired so im just gonna cut this short and go to bed before i fall asleep on the keyboard, ill continue this later (its 1:40 AM here...quite early)

I am more honest than console.log

Feeling like a stupid shithead bc all the new hires are smarter and get thru the training wayyy faster than I do. Spending hours after work to catch up, will this get any better????

Imma get this on a shirt

ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
i almost have enough ++'s to get the fat orange cat for my profile!!!!!

When you offer to help out a fellow coworker on the top priority feature he is developing and he just sends you the branch and stops working on it.

Internal system sent me an email with a dead link, saying a certificate is due to expire. Couldn't find the tool, opened IM with help support and was greeted with a passive aggressive note:

"Did you know that the support staff you speak too will use the same website available to you to resolve the issue, have you tried searching here ..."

... well thank you chat bot, did you know I wouldn't be here if said website actually fucking worked?

When a programmer and designer meet on tinder

isnt it amazing how hypocritical moms are? like, she tells me that im going to have to do things like the dishes by myself when im older, and i will have to do things i dont wanna do. yet she still makes me do the dishes. i all 4 years that ive been doing the kitchen, she hasnt done it even once. the next time she tells me that, im going to try to gather up the strength to say "ill just make my kids do it.". if im chillin and watching tv after dinner, shell be like, "did you buy the ingredients?" no. "did you cook the food?" no. "did you eat the food?" yes. "then u can clean the kitchen". but if i bought the stuff, and i cooked it, she's like "nice job cooking. noow do a nice job on the kitchen." its so aggravating. ill post a part 2 later.

I hate when one of my cw starts to flood the chat, especially the #general. It goes like:

CW: hey
CW: anyone have a pendrive
CW: ?

Me: I have one (and tells him where he can find on my desk)
Another CW: I have one too

CW: thanks, I'll get the one from <Another CW>
CW: hahahahahaha

You don't need to write a whole thesis in a single message, but at least you should guarantee that each message have some meaningful information, not just "hey", "?" and "hahaha"

Slack is not MSN.

Who should and when it would be a good time to tell him this is a waste of attention?

I get home today and my wife says:

"Just finished some chores and really want to play stardew valley, but the computer has been updating for an hour!"

Windows 10 anniversary update strikes again.

Got hooooot pink coloured pair of beats for my birthday!!! Best gift ever! Two most things I like is music and code this is the perfect gift! Pink is the only problem but fuck it. I love theseeeee!!!

can we talk about how well-made Minecraft is? you can tell how much time and effort went into it just from the graphics alone. theses so many features, items, sounds, and biomes that make the game so fun to play and come back to. i cant even fathom how much code must have gone into it just to make the game have its physics and item behaviors and stuff. and the end screen for when you defeat the ender dragon is so powerful, and just 👌👌👌. i 100% think the pocket edition is worth all $7. although you shouldnt have to pay for minecoins to get skins since you already spent 7 bucks on the game itself)))

One of the colleagues I am close with is changing teams. They will still be around the company, in fact the office of the team they are going to is right by mine. It just sucks to lose a good developer and friend from the team.

Bless all the people who use table's in their README's

Honestly now that I have a job and I work with good people, being on devrant anymore just ruins my day. I love it when people rant about their jobs and code, and I love it when people share cool stuff on here. But the childish and toxic behavior leaves such a sour taste in my mouth. I hope I see you assholes (you know who you are) on the street so I can smack you, and you deserve every bit of what's coming to you. I hope you can turn your life around and actually help the world one day. Til then, I'm going to enjoy my life, because my life is fucking amazing. bye!

nobody:

me: *hacks tabby cat page using inspect and changes the cat's name to chicken nugget warrior and makes the cat rainbow and floating in space for no reason*

everyone that tried to read this: i had a stroke trying to read this.

does anyone else want to pour a bunch of bromine on their computer, or is it just me?

What if programming languages are only available commercially?

I enjoy watching things grow

Wouldn't it be cool if you could add your favorite ranters as "friends" or something like that?
I also would welcome some feature like a personal chat personal with other ranters.
Just a few ideas.

Did you ever take advantage of clients that has less computer literacy? Like have you ever escape a bug in the system by telling the client heavy technical BS! 😋

PS - fixings that bug later obviously!!

my 3 most valuable pokemon cards:

Mew EX (RC24/RC25): $29.74
Shining Ho-Oh (promo SM70): $31.57
Gengar EX (114/119): $53.88

i would never, ever sell them though coz my best friend traded them to me. i just thought it was cool.

Happy Holidays Everyone 😘. Hugs & Kisses to all of you this season. No work allowed - treat yourself.

git pull origin master --allow-unrelated-histories

Because I like to keep life interesting.

ok ive been wondering...
how the hell do computers understand binary code? like, for real, how the fuck do you program a computer to understand binary code
is it magic or something
how the hell do computers understand binary

i made a meme of my cat

As long as there's good documentation, and is relatively speedy, I really don't give a fuck what language/tech I'm using.

FINALLY started our chemistry/physics unit in science class today! :D hopefully we get to the math and the more advanced parts and stuff and not just basics! although noone else in my class is as familiar with chemistry as i am, so we're probably starting from the basics(or at least the easy stuff that seems easy since im so good with chemistry XD)

What is the social networking programmers use to communicate.
Hey guys.
So what program do you guys use to communicate? Something that I can drop here and not behing spammed. Time to start creating my own network arround you guys... You know, smart people.

!rant

Ok guys, I feel like seeing a genuine civil chat here so here we go!

What is everyone's opinion on the way the gaming industry is going, I mean with everything going for the 4K and all the shit that goes on between Console and PC gaming (I'm a console gamer).

And, if you are a game developer, how has this push for 4K and everything must be 3D and photo realistic effected your work?

I wonder, who is also into manga/anime?

Maybe we could start a chat group :D

Why do I find really hard to connect with my coworkers?! I'm an introvert but after few months in my old job I connected with everyone. In my new job I find it really hard! And it's almost a year! 😥😫

Bed to desk, desk to bed

Am i the only one who really wants a chat and follow option on DevRant?
I find it very uncomfortable to maintain long comment threads of 20+ comments especially when you're discussing with a single other ranter on a certain issue :/

i dont know if this the right place to talk about this, but i cant find anywhere else that this stupid securly thing hasnt blocked. literally everyone in my grade at my school has had a crush, and theyre all talking about it ALL THE TIME. all i hear when i walk past groups of people in the halls is "so who's your crush?" and its so stupid. and a lot of the time i hear these people talking, and it sounds like they have more than a crush. i feel like a total outsider even though none of these people are my friends. never, ever, in all 13yrs of my life, have i had a crush, or more than a crush. never. i dont know what it feels like to be attracted to anyone. i dont think about doing anything with anyone like most people i know do. ive been reading around and googling stuff, and i came across something called 'asexuality'. i read a ton of articles about it, and it fit me so well, that i was actually surprised. i was sure that i was ace. and i was looking at all the different ace identities, and then i got to demisexual. that made me wonder, "what if im too young to know?". now, im pretty sure im ace, but im not sure enough to come out to my family. my friends though, ive already come out to. my best friend is ace as well. but im still confused. im still unsure. i want to be absolutely, 100% sure before i come out to my family. i know sexuality and all that can change, but i dont want to really label myself too early. i am saving up for an ace ring, and im glad that its a subtle hint that my family may or may not notice. i feel like im way too young to know at all if im actually ace or not, or that i just havent found the right person. people tell me all the time that i probably just havent met the right person or that im probably just a late bloomer. ive never been someone to dwell on what other people say, or wonder if they are actually right. but this is different. i understand a little more how people are so dumb and cliche(still totally bizzare, but eh). ive been questioning my orientation since november, and i feel like its been too long. im confused. im under a lot of pressure to figure it all out. i wish i could know and be confident enough about it to come out. but i just dont know. i THINK im ace, but then i think about all the possibilities that it could be. i strongly relate to all the signs, but im still unsure. its all a jumbled mess and im pretty sure the answer is right in front of me. am i ace, or am i too young to know?

I love how all the shorthands for events are deprecated, but JQuery docs still haven't been updated.

i just counted my pokemon cards, and i have 307 of them. im bringing them to school on monday so that i can finish trades with my friend. i have almost a boxful of cards. my friend has two boxes full.

what are you guys' favorite pokemon?
mine is ether mew, wooper, or cosmog.

When you immediately regret your career decisions.

We're currently implementing a chat feature in our software, and I only have 2 requests:

Poop emoji
Eggplant emoji

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'g;fghcgfxrtyuiolkhvh'lefjdc kxls
gk'v ;b'
klak'nk;kerbfohv csjrdfcbukjhfdcx ubmvsdnfoy5487uyfhnbhmgvsuizkhbgvhk bmafdljbnedvhinlbjk mdafv.cfd choibfq jadvcugovkh jbnqfhadipcjh lbknmefknld ,mxnnk;l mgtadvcz klbjnm

ughhhhhh

Windows automatic updates.

Is there a developer discord, WhatsApp group, signal group or something similar here? I would love to be chatting with like-minded developers

Things you should not say on your last day of work:

If I broke it, I think it would be pretty obvious.

Whoa!! The last time I was here, stress ball was worth 15 ++

Devs are users too damnit. Stop making bad UX for your tutorials. Bonus bad boy points if you can't write clearly or spread misinformation.

Any devs of you interested in a WhatsApp group? I'd like to create/manage one... 🤔
My thoughts are there would be several groups (will discussed when the main one is standing) grouped like dev-language, country and so on..
If you like to join ++ and write your number as reply to my comment below :)

When will a client finally understand I can't just 'implement a new secure chat feature but only for these people' before lunch

If devRant let us text users directly, I wonder how many girls would get spammed...

I had an interesting mystery the other day. I work in the UK, but I'm working remotely from the US for a while. First day, I made some changes, ran the tests and they failed. Weird part was the failing test was for a component I hadn't touched. I took a closer look, and realized it was a date off by several hours. The test was checking that a passed in date appears in the output. But it was creating the date by parsing a string. The library I was using defaults to local time, but the component uses UTC. So, I had inadvertently created a unit test that only passes when run from UTC. But I had never noticed before because my work is in that timezone. Yikes!

Co-worker asked for a call and then when I replied "you can call when ready :) " the reply back is an all caps "IN A MIN"

I'm not the one asking for the call and I'm also not rushing you to have one.

To me all caps means shouting and it puzzles me because while typing it the other person can see it and previous that they aren't using all caps. Why continue using all caps if you aren't angry? 🤷

How do you interpret all caps in a work chat conversation?

Ok ummm I might be 👉👈 addicted to nicotine again 🥺

What advice do you all have on negotiating salary?

How did I end up looking how to write asynchronous function in shell script whereas my task is to write a distributed chat app in Node.JS ?

Damn this is going to be complicated.

Just moved countries and started a new job at an awesome company, which is so great I have nothing yet to rant about.

Oh here goes: almost three weeks with no internet at home and no end in sight.

so. much. rain.

Why project manager use group chat to discuss an issue which is related only to one developer, meanwhile other getting messages and notifications which they have no idea and putting their attention something they have no business?
Sometime I did not read message cause I think they are not related to me then I get personal message please check group.
Now other team members are using group chat when they want to discuss something with manager.
Why you people think scope of message before send it???

If only I could sleep well every night, I would probably be a year ahead in skill rn dangit.

I love the job hunt, just thinking about ending my life everyday now. Maybe I'm just a bad programmer - or just completely dumb.

Anyone have any advice on getting front end developer jobs?

Do you think AWS will still be THE thing within 5 years? Trying to learn REST/cloud/database stuff as a junior dev, but I'm having trouble with the pile of shit documentation.

What's the link between Computer Science and Physics? I get turned on by both..

Sorry for being AFK @Root, I was reading the wiki ^^

Uh... how many?

I just got ghosted by a live chat support member... Guess they finally realized they are idiots.

This is what happens when you give me some incompetent generic support staff that not only doesn't know shit but contradicts his own statements as well.

Time to give them a call and hope they have some actual technical people how knows their stuff over there....

Dev chat:

Been a while since I asked one of these questions, decided it's about time to bring them back, so what was everyones latest 'fuck it' moment, whether it was an 'ill do it myself' or a 'fuck this shit' moment...

Currently I am going through a fuck it moment, sick of complaining that GameMaker is not available on Linux, so I'm jumping head in and building an IDE that will hopefully use mono to run the GMS compiler... Despite me having barely any major knowledge in the language I'm using nor the knowledge to easily build a code editor on its own...

Any discord server for noobs guyz?? I could use the company...feeling lonely :-)

Why is so Fitbit so bad at multiple time zones??

Guess what, people get on planes and travel.

Every time, my Fitbit gets so screwed up, including things like changing previous step counts, or duplicating an entire day of steps.

I understand MTZ is a tough problem, but this is just unacceptable. I'm not obsessed with my steps, but when your product is all about counting something, seems like you should be more careful to avoid double counting or not counting at all. Seriously, how much R&D have they invested in their hardware and apps, but it completely fails when you travel. Get it together!

the ice cream was alright, it tasted good so i guess it was a success

entering world as name in live chat so it returns hello world

Mine was at my school when I was 13 or 15. I didn't have a computer at home because my parents could not offered a one. Back then I didn't know any thing about computers but always knew that I wanted to do something related to computers.

So, when I went to the computer lab in my school I was so dumb, I couldn't even click on a button using the mouse. We were partnered up two students per computer and me try so hard use a computer and my partner take over and show off his talent how he can use a computer.

I was sad and devastated even though I love computer I couldn't use a computer but my willingness to learn about computers science never faded a away!

Few years fast forward; I'm a web developer and I'm happy with what I do. The fellow student who showed off still contact me for his trouble shootings regarding computers.

Never give up on you dreams

What frontent framework(s) do you use and why? Please no flame wars in the comments.

I was always interested in computers. My dad was a big computer geek and a programmer to boot. Usually had a couple old PCs in the basement to play with.

In middle school, I took tech ed and we made simple web sites with html and css. I remember the struggle of nested tables.

In high school, I couldn't fit any CS into my schedule. But someone gave me a learning to code book in ruby. I loved it, and have been hooked ever since.

During the time I've been part of the DevRant community, I've noticed that users (including myself) sometimes contribute posts that are not quite rants. These are sometimes posts about the DevRant itself, reaching out to the community for assistance on a project, etc.
This inspired me to create an unofficial Slack chat for the DevRant community. I call it MetaRant.
If you'd like to join then please send an email to:
ericfledderman at me dot com

Current Mac and Windows user here looking to get back into Linux. Any distro suggestions?

Looking for something not too high maintenance.

i feel this tweet on a spiritual level

Best tip for getting unstuck? If it's after your usual leaving time, GO HOME.

So many times I solved the problem right away the next morning. Only wish I followed my own advice more often...