I recently met a young fella (14yo) playing League of Legends. He asked:
- What do you do for a living?
- I'm a programmer, do you know anything about programming?
- I don't, actually.

Apparently he was playing from a LAN Gaming center 'cause he didn't have a computer at home (his computer had broken and these Lan centers are pretty affordable).
I figured I could explain to him what was it and what super powers you could get from it. Turns out I recommended a JS course in codecademy and now he goes to the LAN center every day to study programming (he got really into it!).
Now he always pings me with questions about JS and apparently he's learning a ton! He had almost no English skills too (we're Brazilian), and because most of the material in the internet is in English he found himself some free English courses and he's now taking them!

Knowledge is free on the internet and I guess he's just realized that.

Not exactly a rant guys, just figured it was a nice story to tell :)
#TeachAKidHowToCode

Microsoft tools are hard drive rapists.
Google tools are RAM rapists.
Programming is pornography.

An entirely typical exchange at work:

PM: How long would it take to build an application that collates Gubblefluffs and exports them as a PDF?

ME: Hard to say. What’s a Gubblefluff?

PM: Nothing complex. Its basically an object with some stuff in.

ME: Erm, okay. So I’ll define a Gubblefluff object plus methods to add edit and delete, then for each Gubblefluff have it write a line to a PDF.

PM: It will need to email that PDF to somebody.

ME: Okay, cool. “Gubblefluffs-by-email” should take about a day.

6 hours later…

ME: I’ve done Gubblefluffs-to-pdf, I’m not clear on what’s in a Gubblefluff but I’ve made it flexible so it can take almost anything.

PM: No, a Gubblefluff can ONLY be one of 4 Snigglefingers plus a timestamp and some JSON.

ME: What? Right. Okay. What’s a Snigglefinger?

PM: (sighs) A Snigglefinger is the collection of relevant Babelsets.

ME: Babelsets?

PM: Yeah, a user can have any number of Babelsets but they must correspond to one of the four types of Snigglefingers.

ME: There are users!?

PM: Of course!

ME: But I’ve not coded anything for users.

PM: Shit. I’ve told the client they can have it today. How long to add in users?

ME: And Babelsets, and Snigglefingers and the new Gubblefluff rules?

PM: Yeah.

6 days later…

ME: This is done now. It’s a beast but it works. Who should it email the PDFs to?

PM: Client X, plus cc to Y and bcc to Z.

ME: What? It doesn't support CC and BCC!

1 hour later…

ME: This is done. I’ve tested it and sent you a copy of the PDF it generates.

PM: Okay thanks. Is the cron running daily?

ME: What cron?

…

ME: Okay, so the cron’s running once a day at 8pm.

PM: Oh, it’ll need to be at 3:15pm. That’s when we’ve told the client they’ll get it.

ME: Right. I’ll change it...

PM: Also, the PDF you sent me looks nothing like the visual.

ME: What visual?
...

PHP feels

Gitlab, I was working dude...

"Your pc will restart several times." Thanks fucking windows

Today Comcast told me my account password over the phone... Fucking Comcast stores passwords in plaintext.

My first text editor made in python with tkinter

!Rant

Friday night installing arch and coding, should be a good night

And I'M OUT

Windows command line. Windows in general.

Today was epic.
I made the first formal demo of the mobile application I have been working on for the past three months, and the whole team of the start-up I work at were all psyched about it. I got compliments from everybody.
Since I am the only tech oriented employee, what I do is pretty obscure to the rest of the company and I was not expecting such reactions and it was awesome. I'm proud of what I achieved, and the undivided validation made me feel like I own the world, even if I have still much learning to do.

The good thing about these latest sourcetree updates is I finally am forced to learn git command line.

Dafuq... What is 98,1%?? Am I on drugs ?

How it usually goes:
1. Have an idea
2. Do about 3 of those things:
- sketch out a few diagramms of how it would work
- think of a name and buy the url
- estimate what you would have to buy and what it would cost
- make a project folder
- lean back, imagine life after the idea made you rich and famous
- write about 2% of the required code
3. Get distracted or don't have time to work on thr idea
4. Have new idea, repeat from 1

Having lunch with a new colleague, I asked him what did he program. Afterall he has over a decade under his belt.

"Websites."

"Oh cool but what does it do?"

He answered after a pause, "I click something and something pops up."

"The food is nice here.", I gave up.

If nobody has told you today, your code is looking good ❤️

👈😎👈

They say developers don't have social lives...

Over one half of my total commits on GitHub have been from just Fridays and Saturdays...

I mean, I guess they're not wrong.

I'm not kidding; I literally don't know how to close Vim on my phone

Just thinking about the world without stack overflow. 🤔

Few days ago, my boss join devRant. And last night, my girlfriend join devRant too.

*Their watching. Beware!!!

Microsoft creates a new chat bot:
Day 1
User : hi
Chatbot: hello, how's yours day? 😁

One month later:
User: hi
Chatbot: fuck off your piece of shit.😡

OK I'm going write some serious heaps of code, my commits will fucking ddos the repository!

All I need is some tunes to drown out the office noise. Hey this song is quite good. Haha Google suggests my favorite song from 2 years ago, let's give that a try next. Oh I didn't know there was a new album out... hmm but I don't like everything... lets find out which 2 songs are good enough to add to a playlist by skipping aimlessly through it. Come to think of it, this style is not really that great for coding, maybe something with less vocals. Oh I know, I'll see if I can find some postmetal goa triphop electroswing dubpsy remix of that on YouTube, that would be enjoyable. No... I like the original better, although I'm a bit bored with it, maybe there's a similar artist hiding in a corner on Bandcamp, or Soundcloud... hey that's a cool mix, I wonder where that sample is from, lets try to find it...

"Yesterday's code today's mystery"

-all coders

Damn fuck it. I am making a program with
#include <windows.h>

Accessing the Win32 API in c is such a pain. Just made a simple window with 70 lines of c code. And I have to edit it in turbo c but run it in some other compiler. Our teacher is a .... uhhh
Hate projects.

Sorry if the rant doesn't make sense. I am too tired.

Just noticed YouTube got inspired by porn video sites and now they are showing very short preview of video on thumbnail hover.

Nice but not that useful feature for non porn video site.

Note to myself: don't start writing algorithms at 2 am

Got my first recommendation in Medium.

Can't.Handle.The.Fame

prof: were gonna program snake today
me: yay!
prof: but program the way i did it :)
me:

Client: We need a news app.
Me: Sure, tell me more about it.
Client: Yeah, have you used Daily Hunt, I want that! Just in different colors.
Me: ...