My boss keeps telling us that our dev team should be building using Microsoft PowerApps and Flow.

You guys have ducks to help your code work. I have Lucille to motivate it to work. ☕

That awkward moment when windows doesn't know how to deal with UUIDs...

CubeDrone nails it. I don't think I've ever seen even a medium priority task in this company

And we thought no social media platform could match Facebook.

Whenever I do a search on Google and it returns no results, I feel like I won the internet.

A huge thank you from the Great White North!!!!

When developing outside of a Starbucks and a bird decides to shit right on the keyboard of your laptop 😑

this one time my coworker was having a hard time debugging a javascript function so he set it to alert("kill me pls") and that somehow got into production.

we recieved many support emails from concerned customers that day

When you can't understand your own code but then u finally go through it and understand

Boss:(pastes a bunch of Python code in Slack)
Boss: Need to convert a long list of ints to a comma separated string. Can you finish it for me? Need it now, I'm in a hurry!!
Me : (Delete all boss's code)
Me : input=[1,2,3,4,5,6,....] output=",".join(str(e) for e in input)
Boss: Damn you! Thanks. Brunch on me today.

Firefox has reset my default browser to Yahoo...

*Shudders*

My wife is turning into my project manager . . .

Me : Check out this game I'm building as a side project!

Wife : Wow that's really neat! I expect to be able to play it on my phone. 1 month?

Me: What? I haven't even learned how to port ...

Wife : (interrupts) ONE MONTH

Scope creep even at home *sigh

When you discover that new CSS animation and want to use it everywhere

Once I asked my mom about my dad. She told me he was like a void method. He never returns.

Wordpress sucks!

Why programmers like UNIX:
unzip, strip, touch, finger, grep, mount, fsck, more, yes, fsck, fsck, fsck, umount, sleep

I Google
I stack overflow
I am an index that references
The internet memory

The modern day code-er mantra

After hitting 175 upvotes only to find out the stress ball threshold got bumped to 200, I gave in and bought it.

I feel like I've made an in game purchase.

Two years ago: company exec (Mac fan) buys a Surface Pro to show off our .NET application to customers as he travels. Hands it to me (I build releases) and I iron out a few Win 8 bugs since we'd always used Win 7 before. Get it set up, get to like the device a little, he takes it home... and returns it within 24 hours because he didn't mesh well with Windows. (Again, Mac user.)

8 months later he buys a Surface Pro again. I install our latest release, verify that everything is working as expected with hardware we normally don't use, and give him a controlled setup that will just work when he's at a customer site. Once again, he returns the Surface within 24 hours because he can't get used to Windows.

At least we verified Windows 8 compatibility, I guess.

Me when my teacher told us we're only gonna learn about Microsoft Server because that's all we need

Feel like a sir

The number of tabs open in Chrome is a direct correlation to the amount of coffee I need on any given day.

Alright then.

Oh thats how it works.

When you see your AWS bill for the development environment only

Totally trying it out next time

I went afk without locking my pc. When I came back I saw the "Upgrading to Windows 10" screen.

Your mother it's so fat that the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow.

My boyfriend is in dental school and I am, of course, a dev. So we often swap analogies to help each other better understand what we are talking (or usually complaining) about. My favorite one so far is when I was explaining to him how the sales team undersells websites without consulting developers and we are constantly over budget. So he goes, "That's like the receptionist telling the patient they have 2 cavities just by looking at them and having them pay immediately. And when the dentist takes a look, the patient actually needs 4 crowns and a root canal... but they already paid for just the 2 cavities."