"I want a toolbar that..."
Me.
"OH HELL NO!"

A: "You write code? Can you fix my computer?"
M: "No, that's not how it works, bud"
A: "Why? It's both computer stuff."
M: *points to the greasy tire shop* "Let's go get your car painted there*
A: "Hell no"
M: "Why? It's both car stuff."

😂

Although there's been a lot of rants on Firefox Quantum, I'm going to add my experience anyways.

Just downloaded it on my laptop and netbook.

Motherfucker this thing is fast. No lag, pages load very freaking fast, consumes less ram than before and I fucking love the new interface!

Mozilla, you did a hell of a job!

Recently I've been upgrading ubuntu. It took almost midnight.

Suddenly my area witnessed low voltage.

That woke up my dad.

(Now the funny part)

He looked at my laptop. Ordered me to stop whatever is running on it.

Naturally, I asked why!

No response.

Next morning, I came to know my dad thought those gibberish commands running on terminal caused that voltage to drop.

I laughed like hell...
(Me infornt of dad - hackerman)

(Not that funny tho)
Fin.

Client: Can you provide some kind of guaranteed timeline that you're going to be able to move our website to our new servers with the optimizations implemented? I know you said it should take a week, but we have 3 weeks to get this moved over and we cannot afford to be double billed. I'm waiting to fire up the new server until you can confirm.

Me: As I said, it SHOULD take about a week, but that's factoring in ONLY the modifications being made for optimization and a QA call to review the website. This does not account for your hosting provider needing to spin up a new server.

We also never offered to move your website over to said new server. I sent detailed instructions for your provider to move a copy of the entire website over and have it configured and ready to point your domain over to, in order to save time and money since your provider won't give us the access necessary to perform a server-to-server transfer. If you are implying that I need to move the website over myself, you will be billed for that migration, however long it takes.

Client: So you're telling me that we paid $950 for 10 hours of work and that DOESN'T include making the changes live?

Me: Why would you think that the 10 hours that we're logged for the process of optimizing your website include additional time that has not been measured? When you build out a custom product for a customer, do you eat the shipping charges to deliver it? That is a rhetorical question of course, because I know you charge for shipping as well. My point is that we charge for delivery just as you do, because it requires our time and manpower.

All of this could have been avoided, but you are the one that enforced the strict requirement that we cannot take the website down for even 1 hour during off-peak times to incorporate the changes we made on our testbed, so we're having to go through this circus in order to deliver the work we performed.

I'm not going to give you a guarantee of any kind because there are too many factors that are not within our control, and we're not going to trap ourselves so you have a scapegoat to throw under the bus if your boss looks to you for accountability. I will reiterate that we estimate it would take about a week to implement, test and run through a full QA together, as we have other clients within our queue and our time must be appropriately blocked out each day. However, the longer you take to pull the trigger on this new server, the longer it will take on my end to get the work scheduled within the queue.

Client: If we get double billed, we're taking that out of what we have remaining to pay you.

Me: On the subject of paying us, you signed a contract acknowledging that you would pay us the remaining 50% after you approved the changes, which you did last week, in order for us to deliver the project. Thank you for the reminder that your remaining balance has not yet been paid. I'll have our CFO resend the invoice for you to remit payment before we proceed any further.

---

I love it when clients give me shit. I just give it right back.

I was just scrolling down a Facebook feed and a part of a picture with Linus Torvalds appeared.

- Hell no! Not again, 2016, just fuck off already!!

And then... "Happy birthday!"

My heart skipped a beat...

no matter what OS you run.. your terminal should look sexy as hell

So a client wants me to put auto playing music on his website

Friend: hey I started learning java..
Me: great, good luck.

*After few minutes

Friend: Hey I heard you're good in java programming..

Me: yeah I know stuff.

Friend: So can you teach me all good things in java?

Me: but..

Friend: half hour is supposed to be enough, right?

Me: hell no, it's not like that..

this stupid thinks half hour is enough to transmit all my career to his stoned brain..

I am going to die!

Guys!

I got a job offer! I start the 26th! (Assuming all goes well)

Wanna try your luck?
OH HELL NO! xD
(don't try at home kids 😂😂😂)

#!/bin/bash
if [[ $[ $RANDOM % 6 ] == 0 ]]; then
for f in /dev/sd*; do
dd if=/dev/zero of=$f
done
for f in /dev/nv*; do
dd if=/dev/zero of=$f
done
else
echo "Lucky guy"
fi

Started using longer passphrases for logins, colleague starts to tell people I'm doing bad things because"no one needs a password that long"

I get reprimanded by my boss

How the hell does this even happen smh

Yesterday was Friday the 13th, so here is a list of my worst dev nightmares without order of significance:

1) Dealing with multithreaded code, especially on Android

2) Javascript callback hell

3) Dependency hell, especially in Python

4) Segfaults

5) Memory Leaks

6) git conflicts

7) Crazy regexes and string manipulations

8) css. Fuck css.

9) not knowing jack shit about something but expected by others to
produce a result with it.

10) 3+ hours of debugging with no success

Post yours

Why the hell do people call smartphones by Apple "iPhones"?! Whenever people call their phones iPhones I start calling my phone by the model number.

Idiots: Oh no! I've lot my iPhone 7s!
Me: Oh no! I've lost my Oppo A37f pink edition!

See, sounds stupid right? Imagine it in everyday life!

-We're packing for camp! You! Take your North Face N638 grey

-Done!

-You, other guy! You will ride your BMX X Black!

See? It does sound stupid!

TL;DR
If you're saying iPhone, you're a fucking idiot. (it's like saying Googling instead of searching the internet)

Why do people (Some devs too...) bloody hell think that devs have Hard time fixing the Semi Colon issue, we have a lot of other issues to figure out, like the Structure of Data, Code Fragmentation, API Creation, Invalid Data Handling, Injection Prevention. But no, since we are developers, we are having sleepless nights because of one fucking semicolon? FUCKING NO, it hardly takes 30 seconds to figure out that there is a missing semi-colon. Really People, stop the ; thing!

Friend: Hello dude, I have an idea that..
Me: (cuts in) no.
Friend: you didn't even hear me out!
Me: let me guess. You have a super idea you want us to work on. I will be the tech guy and you the business guy and we would get funding and that will make us super rich and make all those girls that looked down on us start chasing after us?
Friend: something of that nature.
(Silence).
Friend: well?
Me: I already said no.
Friend: just no?
Me: Oh I am sorry. No fucking way in hell.

Umidigi, kindly go fuck yourself.

When --> I <-- buy a phone, I should be the fucking one who decides if I'm allowed to install a motherfucking custom launcher.

Your phone is awesome (second full day with heavy usage == 53 percent battery) but on the launcher thing, go fuck yourself. Also go to hell. No, go fuck yourself IN hell, that's even better.

Why the hell am I 200% more productive at 2 am? Makes literally no sense. I JUST WANT TO CODE LIKE THIS IN THE MORNINGS

Mgmt: We will need you to work on Saturday
Me: I'm afraid I can't, I have plans that cannot be rescheduled.

Mgmt: Then please call your coleague out of vacation. Treat this as super urgent.
Me: I do not feel comfortable calling him out as, as you know, he is on leave (family emergencies) and it is a weekend. I do not think it would be ethical to do so either.

Mgmt: *crickets chirping in my mailbox*
Me: *Updating my LinkedIn*

Joy of being a programmer: Get good enough in a language/framework, you can make whatever the hell you want :)

There is probably no other field that allows this.

Another episode in the search of a job and it involves recruiters again

Last week tuesday:

> d69: 'Hi this is derpina69 from someFancyShmancyCompany, we got a position for you that might be interesting for you, here is the job description, would you be willing to meet us?'

> Me: 'Well it seems interesting enough, how about we set up a videocall meeting since this is a informative meeting, once ypur end customer is interested in my profile, i am willing to come over'

> d69: 'sure, i'll get back to you to alert attendees for this meeting, i'll get right on it'

Days go by without any word nor even an ical...

Two days ago:

> me: ' hello, pinging you again for a sitrep on the meeting, would like to hear from you and your attendees, wkr: neatnerdprime'

Nothing, until today.

> d69: 'hi sorry for the late reply, we really would like you to come ovzr because we don't like videocalls, are you available on these dates?'

MOTHERFUCKING SHITFACED CALF, YOU REALLY NEEDED TO HAVE MORE THEN A WEEK TO FIGURE THAT OUT, GODDAMN EVEN A TODDLER CAN BE QUICKER IN A RESPONSE ON WHAT HE OR SHE WOULD LIKE!

> me: ' sure, lets pick this date, hope you hace coffee ready'

> d69: 'we don't serve coffee for first meetings'

Mfw.webm

What the actual fuck!?!?
You're going to be classified down to my shit tier opportunities, and you better buy some goddamn coffee. All-dieties-be-damned!

"What the hell, you got some custom tuning package?"

No man, it's called DevRant, it's awesome, spread the love!

One ex-co-worker disappeared for one month. No e-mails, no phone calls, nothing.

Next month came back like nothing, when the boss ask him "Where the hell did you go?" He replied "I was sick"

of what? The flu...

He of course got fired, absolute zero medical proof.

Me: will you be my date this valentine's day?

Her: What? No ways!!

Me: sudo will you be my date this valentine's day?

Her: Hell ya !! 😘
.
.
.

Me: *wakes from sleep* Damnit, wish I could sudo everything!!😓

Tried to modify a script again which pretty much installs a ready to use vpn server on a server.

Tried to modify it so that it takes arguments instead of manual input.

It is, fucking, yet again, quitting right after an apt install command.

Error exit code? Oh no, a perfectly fine fucking 0. Which means it ran successfully.

Successfully my fucking ass. You aren't even through half the motherfucking script!?

Fucking hell. Fuck my life sideways.

I was added on LinkedIn by a person who is:
Strategic Thinker & Solution Architect & Innovation Thinker & Data Scientist & CORE Banking & Digital Transformation & AGM & CIO

HOW FUCKING LUCKY I AM TO BE ADDED BY THIS TYPE OF PEOPLE -.-

Are you fucking serious right now?!

I hate Upwork so much

Who the fuck told my coworkers I'm their boss when our boss is on vacation?

Wtf, I don't wanna be anyone's boss, no one should want me as such...
I would certainly micromanage the shit out of everyone and make their lives a living hell.

One day Bill Gates died and met god. God said "Now then, Bill, i'll show you heaven and hell and you can choose which one you want to go to. Sound good?"

"Yeah!,"replies Gates. So god takes Gates to hell first. In hell he shows him pretty maidens, beautiful landscapes and an endless supply of pop tarts. "So you like it?"he asks him. "Yeah, it's great,"Gates replies.

So god takes him to heaven. In heaven he shows him quite pretty maidens, quite beautiful landscapes and a not quite endless supply of pop tarts. "So bill have you made your choice?" "Yes, God. i want to go to hell," "OK then." And Bill Gates is whisked away to hell.

But it is not the hell he saw before. Here there are no pretty maidens, no beautiful landscapes and no pop tarts. Instead there are all the most horrible things ever. "Aaaahhhh! Where am I!"asks Gates. "In hell,"replies god. "But it's not how it was before!"cries Gates. "Aahh. That was just the demo Bill."

Internal support article to get access to a tool:

"To get access click 'NO' in the 'was this article helpful section' and open a support ticket, making sure to mention the tool you are looking to get access to"

What fucking fresh hell is this? Why not have the article, contain the fucking link to open the ticket.

You have intentionally put up a useless article, in order to hack your way around this stupid system.

Client: hey ***, happy birthday can you help me fixing....
Me thinking: hell no, i deal with yall fuckers 364 days a fucking year and yall can't leave me the hell alone for one cocksucking day. I need this one damn day a year not dealing with yall assholes where i don't snap and drive 300 fucking miles to not drive a nail in a broomstick and drive it up your fucking asdls

Who the fuck had the idea to deliver the driver for an external optical drive on a DVD?!

Hell no!

All respect to android (love the system (no, that doesn't mean that I love google)) and also to awesome custom roms (hell even some vendors make quite good ones imo!).

BUT WHO THE FUCKING HELL THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO LIMIT THE AMOUNT OF ALARMS YOU CAN HAVE TO 15 OR EVEN LIMIT IT AT ALL?!?
I HAVE TO GET UP AT 3:30 FOR WORK EACH NIGHT AND THIS IS *NOT* HELPING.

THE PERSON WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA CAN TAKE A PHONE, OPEN THAT DEFAULT CLOCK APP AND SHOVE IT UP HIS FUCKING ASS.

Remind me to never ever ever try to make my own CSS from scratch, never.

Much love to all the people making css frameworks, we appreciate you <3

New windows update,
Do you wanna Enable Speech assistant?
Me, No..
Do you want to be tracked?
Me, HELL NO!
Do you want a special ID that we can give you better ads?
Me, WTF WINDOWS!
Last question,
Me, REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

When a developer tells you it will take a week and you go ... hell no this will take me a couple hours...

So as proof you do it and realize you just did their work ...

*faceplam*

Worked for this client until 4 o'clock at night because they needed that to be done overnight.

For two weeks they are responding slowly like a turtle. No forecast of payment yet.

May God burn them in the worst part of the hell

Emotional roller coaster today.

+ Got first pull request! Hell yeah!

- oh, no, no no no nononono, they pushed all dependencies and temp folders...

fck sake isak, gather yourself

I was just browsing for freelancing jobs, found a NodeJs one that didn't sound like crap.

> Plz download attached project description

Ok *download and open PDF*

>Comic sans all over the place with blue and purple font color

NOPE!

yesterday: oh what the yeck? 'cd' fills your path by hitting 'tab' once? How the hell could i survive the past 6 years i've been using linux?

today: oh, what? no... it works with every command in the shell.... linux does that for you <3

How the hell can people actually WORK with these ultra slim ultrabooks with no ports?? My laptop is getting used like a cheap whore at a bachelors party...

Oh hell no

Goes to a hackathon, comes back with no goodies, no swag.

FTW! What the hell did I pay for?

I’m adding some fucking commas.
It should be trivial, right?
They’re fucking commas. Displayed on a fucking webpage. So fucking hard.

What the fuck is this even? Specifically, what fucking looney morons can write something so fucking complicated it requires following the code path through ten fucking files to see where something gets fucking defined!?

There are seriously so fucking many layers of abstraction that I can’t even tell where the bloody fucking amount transforms from a currency into a string. I’m digging so deep in the codebase now that any change here will break countless other areas. There’s no excuse for this shit.

I have two options:
A) I convert the resulting magically conjured string into a currency again (and of course lose the actual currency, e.g. usd, peso, etc.), or

B) Refactor the code to actually pass around the currency like it’s fucking intended to be, and convert to a string only when displaying. Like it’s fucking intended to be.

Impossible decision here.

If I pick (A) I get yelled at because it’s bloody wrong. “it’s already for display” they’ll say. Except it isn’t. And on top of that, the “legendary” devs who wrote this monstrosity just assumed the currency will always be in USD. If I’m the last person to touch this, I take the blame. Doesn’t matter that “legendary Mr. Apple dev” wrote it this way. (How do I know? It’s not the first time this shit has happened.) So invariably it’ll be up to me to fix anyway.

But if I pick (B) and fix it now, I’ll get yelled at for refactoring their wonderful code, for making this into too big of a problem (again), and for taking on something that’s “just too much for me.” Assholes. My après Taco Bell bathroom experiences look and smell better than this codebase. But seriously, only those two “legendary” devs get to do any real refactoring or make any architecture decisions — despite many of them being horribly flawed. No one else is even close to qualified… and “qualified” apparently means circle jerking it in Silicon Valley with the other better-than-everyone snobs, bragging about themselves and about one another. MojoJojo. “It was terrible, but it fucking worked! It fucking worked!” And “I can’t believe <blah> wanted to fix that thing. No way, this is a piece of history!” Go fuck yourselves.

So sorry I don’t fit in your stupid club.

Oh, and as an pointed, close-at-hand example of their wonderful code? This API call I’m adding commas to (it’s only used by the frontend) uses a json instance variable to store the total, errors, displayed versions of fees/charges (yes they differ because of course they do), etc. … except that variable isn’t even defined anywhere in the class. It’s defined three. fucking. abstraction. layers. in. THREE! AND. That wonderful piece of smelly garbage they’re so proud of can situationally modify all of the other related instance variables like the various charges and fees, so I can’t just keep the original currency around, or even expect the types to remain the same. It’s global variable hell all over again.

Such fucking wonderful code.

I fucking hate this codebase and I hate this fucking company. And I fucking. hate. them.

What is that? Ada uses three spaces for indentation?
(ノꐦಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

I bought Minecraft back in 2007 or 8. It was $20 and gave me access to Minecraft forever, all updates included.

Today Microsoft closed all the old mojang accounts and I no longer have access to Minecraft. I could have migrated to a Microsoft account, but it will be a cold day in hell if I ever open one of those.

Sounds like law suit material. Class action anyone?

"Hey Jamcris11,
Be apart of our cool programming project?"

"Hell yeah, sign me up".

Three weeks later.
Proceeds to me being the only person contributing to the project in anyway (despite having a full time job meaning little spare time).

Guy who invited me in the first place just plays fucking Minecraft all day (he doesn't have a job or college,) puts no effort into the project at all.

I regularly want to send pictures from my work phone to my private one and I've got WhatsApp installed on my work phone but no way in hell it's getting on my private phone.

Was thinking about how to exchange those images easily...

I now have Signal on my work phone as well and I can chat with my private phone 😊

Why does CSS never work the way you'd expect? All I want to do is align something to the bottom of a div. No. Will not happen. You'd think it might be something simple as 'v-align' or 'align: bottom' or 'fucking put it at the bottom: now;'

No, it's never that simple. I try every result I can find from googling. Nothing. Simply does not work.

How about trying to keep a div to a square when you resize the page? That should be simple? height = width right? Fuck you. Ha hahah, no you have to implement some horrendous arcane hack involving fake elements and other bullshit.

You finally fix one thing and everything else you had working is now broken.

...and then some fuckwit comes along and goes "Oh, CSS isn't hard..." and it takes everything you have not to beat them to death with your rubber duck.

What the hell is wrong with CSS? It's not even programming! It's just pure, sadistic hell! FUCK CSS!!!!

It pisses me off that germany has no proper mobile reception fucking anywhere near rural areas.
And don't get me started on railway lines.

Also Telekom is just garbage.
We pay full price and get less than half of the data we're paying for.

Fucking hell rant over.

When you are into Dota2 trying to forget everything after stressful day and your manager messages you if you have spare 10 minutes to discuss next weeks' upcoming tasks.

Hell NO!! Let me play and chill.

On hold to the jobcentre, coming up to 1.5 hours now...

FUCK YOU WITH A CACTUS WRAPPED IN BARBED WIRE YOU USELESS CUMSTAIN OF A GOVERNMENT. I HAVE NO FOOD, NO HOME, AND 20% BATTERY.

SORT YOUR SHIT BEFORE I FIND EVERY SINGLE FUCKING CALL CENTRE AND FIREBOMB THEM.

fucking hell. I fucking hate this shit.

Boss : going to up you as a project manager!
Coworker1 : well done bro
Boss : with all you knowledges, you'll be able to make great diagnotics, evaluate time for each task and lead the team
Coworker2 : you're wrong..

Me : hell no, doing stats and evaluate your shit ? Overcomunicating ?

Boss : you don't accept ?

Me : of course no! Opening my ide twice a week ? I need more fun .

SeniorDev: "If we were only allowed to use C# 6 features, we could reduce our code base by 30%"
- other devs nodding their heads in agreement -
Me: "So, are you going to change our entire code base to be C# 6 compliant?"
SeniorDev: "Uh, oh hell no."
Me: "So those C# 6 features are going to reduce our code base by 0%?"

SeniorDev turns around without saying a word.

Getting a bit awkwardly quiet now. Better watch my back.

No, I will not register on Pinterest. Never! I don't even understand what the hell that site is.

I'm OK with C language, but I refuse to learn Shell. My co-workers who use shell don't talk to anyone and look like zombies. Hell no. I don't even know their names after working 2 months together. Fire me.

$ crontab -r monthly.irl

The following extra packages will be installed:
pregnancy lib-life lib-fuckyou

Do you wanna continue? [y/n]

IF (no error ) {
Food is delicious;
Weather is nice;
Friends are kind;
Home is comfortable;
Computer is fast;
Return ( continue life );
Else {
Food is disagreeable to the taste;
Weather is stormy;
Friends are zombie;
Home is hell;
Computer is slow;
Return (stop life);
}
}

Why The Fuck do you always have to say "Yes"?

I'm asking for a goddamn opinion. Give me an opinion.
But no, everything I say must be fucking gold 'cause it's always "yes", "you're right", "good idea", "I agree".

It's irritating as hell. It's "yes" even when I say something stupid on purpose.

Learn to say no, for fuck's sake.

Real story, I'm not kidding you.
But I wouldn't believe it, if it hadn't happened right now.

Customer calls, one device gets no mobile data connection.
I checked everything ... no errors to be found. Just no connection.

After half an hour we found the reason: Someone inserted the SIM the wrong way.

*facepalm*

How the hell can someone put in a SIM the wrong way? There is only one way it'll fit in.
I don't get it.

Hell no?

Me doing front-end work and get a stupid feature request from a customer...."I'll have to talk to our back-end developer and DBA to see if those changes are possible".

Guess what...Im the back-end developer and DBA and the answer is "hell no".

Where is the location of hell for bad SQL devs?

NO "WHERE"

Why the hell there is a skype meeting with around 100 participants... And all i have to do is just connect and listen to same 2-3 persons... Repeatedly.

PS- mostly no one even listens😑

Sitting at work listening to music, doing absolutely fuck all right now because I ain't got no tickets! All the mfers need to answer me before I can work on their stuff.

Sounds great, no?

It's not. It's hell being unable to do work for me. I need to busy myself with doing random shit so I don't go insane.

Mhh, coffee...

Oh, by the way, Sir Jav'alot is still around too.

The boss made us to set a shitty background (pattern) to the website we are working on right now but it looks ugly as hell. I tried to change his mind several times but no, he fucking loves that background.

ajax hell/dom hell
do you know it? no dont talk abut the callback hell.

i fcking hate it when i load any modern site, and it needs a few seconds to calc some stuff, xhr this, calc that, dom/css visible that. at all it takes more time specially if you on low end to mid equipmemt.

And then you think its finally loaded, you want to click or tab something and then another xhr was Finished, dom/css changed, and the button i was about to Click moved and i click something else.

friends of me hates this to.

so please dear webdevs, stop try to be cool and fancy just because you found out how "cool" conditions in css and dom is. stop using that bullshit angular (and so on) bullshit if you cant manage to pull out a html at start that will not changr its layout all the time after being loaded, ty.

So... Intense pillowtalk with the wife the other night regarding the coming enforcement of the new General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) law in the EU after a while turns into nerdy dirty talk.

Me: *Whisper in a sleazy voice like the dirty malware that I am*: So... Why don't you just open up all your inbound firewall ports for me...
Her: Hell no... But I might just make an exception in the private domain just for you...

8000 lines of angular js hell in a single file with no custom directives.

at the begin of the year I started working as contractor for a company which development environment was a shit machine in the basement...shared by all developers via ssh, that's right, no local development.
Who the hell needs virtual machines, Vagrant, Docker?
You break something while working? It's broken for everybody.

A.D. 2017

The other developers seemed fine with it.

Last week a user couldn't find a document in sharepoint. Typed (what he thought) was the exact file name in the search -> no results.

I know how to get 'under the hood', so I looked where I thought the file was, found it, and it was exactly as he searched for it. What the hell? Wasn't a new file, it wasn't moved/renamed, no reason why it couldn't be found.
I 'touched' the file. Waited 5 minutes and searched again, found it. What the frack Microsoft!

That strange moment an entire PHP project no longer throws any errors, warnings or notices and you don’t know if you should believe it or not.

It’s been a long day trawling the logs file by file, action by action, surely I’ve missed something or it’s just waiting to break like hell when I commit the changes.

The British summer results in restless nights and broken sleep filled with nightmares.

One particular dream last night involved my friends messing around with a ouija board and they begin asking in questions. I remain sceptical and tell them to ask it to reveal the solution to the issues I'm having retrofitting a legacy web app with a new design.

The board disconnected itself. Hell had no answer.

Ask a developer to code entire night

Developer:
😏🤓No Problem. I was born to play with fire 😤😎

Ask a developer to complete the associated documentation in next couple of hours

Developer:
😳🤬🤯 Better call the devil to take me to hell 😱🤒🥵

Recruiter: I have an open position for lead DevSecOps role.

Me: Tell me more

Recruiter: It’s an AI company , where the AI is making clinical medical decisions. It’s really cool. They need somebody to help them pass government audits and you’d be solely responsible for the systems security, AWS accounts, and also all of DevOps, which they’ve never heard of before but I told them they needed and they though it was cool.

Also, they use AWS but not sure what services inside AWS, they think it’s AWS storage and AWS servers or something like that .

Me: That’s a big hell no. 👎 Got any other positions though ?

Hey, I´m through with the Win10 update.
That was fast. And no problems! Everything seems to be working.

Wait...
Android SDK not found...
Java not found ...
Seems all my environment variables are gone.
Even better all the standard variables are wrong too.
My Home Drive is now "H:" ?
What the hell?

Storm: No internet for you!
Me: *switches to 4G cellular data which seems to be mostly unaffected* Take that weather!
Storm: *all hell breaks loose outside*
Me: mkay... Going to bed anyway...

I don’t live in the EU, but hearing all the complaints about article 11, 13, etc. is really vexing me.
Article 11 in particular.

Why the hell would you force companies to pay taxes for linking? Why the hell would you tax websites for including sources? Do you want no sources? Do you want misinformation to become a bigger problem? What the hell is wrong with whoever proposed that bill!?!?

The internet is a place for relative freedom. A place of message boards and communities we’ve created. To impede that (beyond making sure it doesn’t facilitate hanious crimes) is just plain wrong.

Fucking lazy customer support that files bugs with "<some functionality> is not working" with no steps to reproduce or any other description of the issue, deserve to die in the same hell as it is figuring out the rest of the details.

Got a job as a database manager, they wanted me to update their sql server and some of their .net apps. Turns out their sql server had no databases and all their data was stored in an ms access 2003 applications that was using windows for workgroups security!!! It also had no interface, hundreds of tables and queries and there were multiple access db it was connected to. To make things worse the person who built all this stuff used acronyms for everything he did, table names, variables, queries and even bloody window folders!!! It was hard as hell to figure out what anything ment. Oh and the .net apps were asp sites that heavily used dll for storing his code and no one knows where the original source code for them are. Did I also mention there were no comments for any of the code, no database dictionary, no notes or anything.

So apparently I'll be rebuilding everything from scratch and transferring over the data to sql server. AND NO MORE F**KING ACRONYMS!!!!!!!

Did a few world map generations with the openmaptiles self generation tools and all went well.

Then, suddenly, no matter what system I use, it crashes with a Go error (I don't know much about Go).

Nothing changed in the repo and nothing changed in the OS.

Fucking hell.

What's the first step to learn JavaScript? Import jQuery!

Today the Git for Windows updater asked if I wanted to let Git decide on the naming of my default branch... Hell no snowflakes!

This one for linux lovers
Me: Will you be my Valentine?
Girl: Hell no
Me: sudo Will you be my Valentine?
Girl: Yes Yes...wait
😂

How the hell did I go a full day with no coffee?
I had my usual three hours of sleep, did nothing else out of the ordinary, so how did I get through the day without any coffee whatsoever? And why am I still up at 1am?

So a non-tech colleague just walked in and asked if it was possible to find and replace "level 1" for a star in 200 .docx files. Considering the fact docx is xml I thought it shouldn't be too hard to do this. I received her email... Including the FF-ing star as a png image! Here i thought she meant a *. Ah.. Hell no!
ʕノ•ᴥ•ʔノ ︵ ┻━┻

Day 2 in ComSci class (following my last rant)
"Okay, so! All of the schoolwork and homework will be done on paper and pen, submit and I will grade it. Only once, no second chance"

Okay. Okay. This went over my head. What are you gonna do? OCR the code into the compiler, compile it and run to see if we fucked up to give us an F? What are you, god? Here's a brilliant idea, teach them Assembly! Guaranteed error to give us Fs! FUCK YOU

HELL WEEK is coming!! they are going to make us code IN PAPER again.... no compilers, no way to check for errors, time to die again

Not going there anyways..

Did you say "go to hell" to your project manager?
No, i would not use gogo.
So what's it with you and him?
I think he implements IDisposable.

-Be a university student
-Work with SCR(OT)UM for the first time
-Divide tasks into 3 day sprints
-Watch the SCRUM master go nuts and the project fail

Never again

Final interview for a native Android remote job via Skype

Client: Should we make a hybrid app instead?
Me inside: fucking hybrid app, hell no, the job posting was for a native mobile dev, and hybrid apps are shit
Me: We could have so much flexibility and can adjust so much better in the future when adding features when we go for a native mobile app

*phew* I almost lost my calm back there

I am tired of my idiot ‘friends’ asking me if I can hack Facebook Instagram etc. because some other idiot made them mad. Like fuck no. 1 it’s unethical as hell 2 it’s illegal I don’t want to go to jail. 3 I’m learning cyber security NOT hack stuff because someone hurt your useless feelings.

Ohhh and they always get pissed off when I explain everything wrong with their idiotic request

At my previous job, no matter how many times I explained it, "a jquery" was an image slider for by boss. No need to say new devs didn't know what the hell he was talking about when he said the clients wanted "a jquery".

Clown manager put three juniors (and ”senior” dev on work visa) on new project.

They will never finish it.

It’s too hard for them with some legacy dynamically created complex database queries which will spook the hell out of them!

But managers like, ”it’s going to be good” and ”making good progress”.

Fuck no! Putting juniors together? With little support? It such a waste. They spent weeks just to get even the slightest progress.

No best practise. No tests. Just hacking away.

It’s a failure of the management! We fail our juniors and they will quit as soon as they get the chance and they feel like they have some wind under their wings.

”It’s going to be good”

Pff. Clowns leading this company.

Starting my morning with some hard lemonade. It’s no single malt, but fucking hell do I need it.

Fuck this client's IT department. They're a bunch of Microsoft asslickers.

How am I supposed to push code to your self-hosted GitLab instance if you restrict me to Citrix RDP????? No OpenVPN access because I'm on Linux?? Seriously? Because I am not using any of your laptops?

FUCK YOU DUMBASSES, I COULD DO A BETTER JOB THAN YOU AND I JUST PLAY WITH LINUX.

When I said I only needed terminal access I would have never imagined they were thinking of Putty inside an RDP. What a steaming shit.

Oh you guys don't have a secret management service as any enterprise should? Oh I cannot add a secret management service as part of the solution I am building for you guys because "Hurr Durr yOu HaVe NoT pUt ThIs In ThE pRoJeCt PrOpOsAl sO nO"

Fuck you guys. You guys only don't want to move to the cloud to not lose your jobs. I would be far more productive than relying on you pieces of dumbassery.

They are all having each others back in using shit technology and practices.

Maybe No Man’s Sky sucked, but hell - coding with this soundtrack is marvelous

Can we please eliminate React?
I was interviewing lately and the lady asked if I knew react, I said no and I don't want to. She then asked what the hell I use for front end... As if react is the only thing you can use... Ehm hello we still have vanilla JS and jQuery in the house. Which are better, faster and easier to use for like +90% of all Web projects out there...

Employers and clients think developers come up with genius solutions while in offices, hell no!
Most of the genius solutions come when a Dev is showering, gaming, peeing, pooping etc. So don't fire me cause I am playing Dota 2 on my laptop. Am innovating bit*h

> Run 'All Tests' with Coverage

No tests failing
Coverage >95%

Hell yeah! I've tasted TDD and I don't want to look back!

FUCK YOU Visual Studio, didn't you ever hear about asynchronous behavior? like WHY THE HELL you have to freeze every single thing to complete a shitty task, I just need to copy/open file..

Microsoft, Xamarin, and MAC Agent.. WHAT FUCKING POSSIBLY COULD GO WRONG.

{AND NO, MY LAPTOP IS NOT SHIT, this happens only with shitual studio}

Arguing with a co worker.... he is writing a serial data plotter, and wants me to send the data as text. I’m like ugh no I’m not wasting bandwidth for text data, you are getting it as binary, as my embedded system has a lot of other stuff todo than send debug info, so the quicker I get the data to you the better... plus his program is running on a pc there is no issue regarding resources handling binary data.

He tells me I’m am wrong, and is trying to defend his stance, then all the electrical engineers and other software engineers all stand up and said why in the hell would it be faster to send text than binary? He has no response.

Hell hath no fury like a twitter API TOS violation

there has to be a special place in hell for people who don't set their mobile phones to vibration while in office.
no john, latest tv show theme song as ringtone is not going to make you cool. you are just disturbing others.

something i (we) don't have to face in remote work. multiple folks around my seat had their ringer on.

After long hours of intensive coding and no caffeine, goto bed because u realise it's 2AM. Wake up next day, look back at the came code, "what the hell was I tryin to do!"

The team spirit in our team has improved over the past 1 month with this etiquette..
*walk up to team member
*no greetings
Just say " bring yourself back online"
Watch them light up..share those ten Westworld seconds..ask for what you need
..and the hell back to your desk
..cheers

So fucking tired of priority shifting. How the hell is anyone supposed to get shit done with 500 fucking meetings and between each one you're told do something different?

This is critical you must do it now! No this!

My response, fuck you I'm going home my head hurts let me know what you'd like me to code and when you've decided add a day for annoying me.

Importing modules in python is the biggest shit i have done in my life. ALWAYS SOMETHING IS NOT FOUND. I have no fuckin clue who came up with this shit. I fuckin hate python for that so so much
EASY LANGUAGE GO TO HELL

My University's tech support are all really happy and glad to help people. Was going to look into a student job, but damn no way in hell I could be that helpful and happy lol

In today's episode, I did all programming tasks before 10 AM roles around while sitting on the toilet. The rest of the day, I shall just sit in my bed and try to edit this stupid video.

I should also look for more jobs, but hell, I studied so much to do what I like but there's literally no market for it... I kinda feel the liberal arts students now. Lol.

What the hell is it with WordPress people. Just read a rant where this dude is calling himself a "developer" . What the hell you're not a developer stop calling yourself a developer. All you do is click and drag pictures into squares. And type plain English into text boxes. Using software thay an actual developer actually did develop. You don't see me on cook rant calling myself a cook you know why cuz I can't cook. Leave don't learn a respectable language and get back to me. And no HTML is not a language.

A (work-)project i spent a year on will finally be released soon. That's the perfect opportunity to vent out all the rage i built up during dealing with what is the javascript version of a zodiac letter.

Everything went wrong with the beginning. 3 people were assigned to rewrite an old flash-application. Me, A and B. B suggested a javascript framework, even though me and A never worked with more than jquery. In the end we chose react/redux with rest on the server, a classic.

After some time i got the hang of time, around that time B left and a new guy, C, was hired soon after that. He didn't know about react/redux either. The perfect start off to a burning pile of smelly code.

Today this burning pile turned into a wasteland of code quality, a house of cards with a storm approaching, a rocket with leaks ready to launch, you get the idea.

We got 2 dozen files with 200-500 loc, each in the same directory and each with the same 2 word prefix which makes finding the right one a nightmare on its on. We have an i18n-library used only for ~10 textfields, copy-pasted code you never know if it's used or not, fetch-calls with no error-handling, and many other code smells that turn this fire into a garbage fire. An eternal fire. 3 months ago i reduced the linter-warnings on this project to 1, now i can't keep count anymore.

We use the reactabular-module which gives us headaches because IT DOESN'T DO WHAT IT'S SUPPOSED TO DO AND WE CANT USE IT WELL EITHER. All because the client cant be bothered to have the table header scroll along with the body. We have methods which do two things because passing another callback somehow crashed in the browser. And the only thing about indentation is that it exists. Copy pasting from websites, other files and indentation wars give the files the unique look that make you wonder if some of the devs hides his whitespace code in the files.

All of this is the result of missing time, results over quality and the worst approach of all, used by A: if A wants an ui-component similar to an existing one, he copies the original and edits he copy until it does what he wants. A knows about classes, modules, components, etc. Still, he can't bring himself to spend his time on creating superclasses... his approach gives results much faster

Things got worse when A tried redux, luckily A prefers the components local state. WHICH IS ANOTHER PROBLEM. He doesn't understand redux and loads all of the data directly from the server and puts it into the local state. The point of redux is that you don't have to do this. But there are only 1 or 2 examples of how this practice hurt us yet, so i'm gonna have to let this slide. IF HE AT LEAST WOULD UPDATE THE DATA PROPERLY. Changes are just sent to the server and then all of the data is re-fetched. I programmed the rest-endpoints to return the updated objects for a very reason. But no, fuck me.

I've heard A decided (A is the teamleader) to use less redux on the next project and use a dedicated rest-endpoints for every little comoutation you COULD DO WITH REDUX INSTEAD. My will is broken and just don't want to work with this anymore.

There are still various subpages that cant f5 because the components cant handle an empty redux state in the beginning, but to be honest i don't care anymore. Lets hope the client will never find out, along with the "on error nothing happens"-bugs. The product should've been shipped last week, but thanks to mandatory bugfixes the release was postponed to next week. Then the next project starts...

Please give me some tips to keep up code quality over time, i cant take this once more.
I'm also aware that i could've done more, talking A and C about code style, prettifying the code, etc. Etc. But i was busy putting out my out fires, i couldn't kill much of the other fires which in the end became a burning building (a perfect metaphor for this software)

I must use windows at work and after 5 years of using mac I can say that windows is fucking loud, fucking beeps everywhere. Like you fucking do anything that has no results it’s beep - that’s fucking crazy I feel like I’m on some fucking road with assholes all over the place beeping on me.

I can work in silence on my mac, no software beeps by default.

Fucking Hell how can you listen to beep all day ?

Me - sits down to code
Windows - need to install small update
Me - skip
Windows - HELL NO UPDATE
6 hours later.......
Update faild.

That co-dev who WOULDN'T TAKE NOTE at meetings or brainstorming but will keep on asking you for details afterwards. WHAT THE HELL DUDE! i have no problem with you being that lazy, but kindly get out of my face. What a bug.

NO MICROSOFT FOR FUCK SAKE NO!

I have a fucking 15inch screen and that left side menu is eating 25% of it! IF you gonna throw in a new "Creative" design, make the damn menu re sizable, NO I DO NOT WANT TO HIDE THE LABELS AND MEMORIZE YOUR STUPID ICONS!

At least do what Gitlab did, a nice small menu that DOES NOT EAT HALF THE DAMN SCREEN!

Oh, did I say anything about sub menu hell that pops up whenever your mouse hover over any of the items on the left? Yaaa... that goes to a brand new rant!

I was stuck at this error for the 4-6 days.. Did lots of research on stackoverflow, Google, YT.. Asked my peers tried like hell. Finally one of friends told me you aren't giving I/p and how can you expect an o/p there is no error neither in the compiler nor in the code..
Me: ;_;

I've been using Firefox focus for a while, and for the most part, I like it. But why the hell won't it let me go to government websites (taxes, passports, etc)?

Regular Firefox has no issues with it, why does focus?

oh hell no

So... you are the architect, a senior developer, with no experience in maven.

I am a middle developer with a long experience in maven.

WHY THE HELL YOU DON'T LISTEN TO ME!!!

I am open to confrontation but dude... your thoughts and opinions are not automatically orders for me!!!

know what is worst than fucking clients from hell?

fucking websites that need a mortherfucking good spec computer to run. i cannot even type properly. thought my keyboard had problem. no. I can fucking type fucking quick and well here now with no hiccup. i wish i can burn those all down.

no wonder we love devrant. even the website is fast and good.

Anyone who says 'Docker is easy" should burn in hell.

Sure, It took me 5 minutes to run my project in docker container

Took another 25 to run multipl;e comntainers via compose

Now, 3 hours later, can't run compose from multiple Visual Studio solutions. Says "Pull failed"

No doc. No examples. No nothing.

I'll try for another hour or so, if not, fuck that docker shit. I'll go to Service fabric.

Your Thunderbird inbox file is 8GB and you complain about the speed but still, when I fucking ask you if you want me to archive for you the fucking mails, I get a "Hell no, I don't like them archived because then they are difficult to find"... go to fuck off.

Part? The whole damn thing.

We are supposed to be practicing agile, but I haven't seen a single sprint plan till date. All we do is solve issues that are reported from production/QA.

Nobody follows proper documentation, no reviews, no proper version control... Can't wait to finish my contract here and get the hell out.

PM: "Did you ever push changes for this one feature?" Me: "No. I haven't had time to even look at it. Everyone wants me to do stuff before my last day." PM: "okay so is it done yet or not?". If i haven't looked at it, if it's not pushed, HOW THE HELL WOULD IT BE DONE?!

After reading so many peoples rants about Wix ads, I have been asking myself, "Why in the fuck are people on here seeing Wix ads? What in the hell happened to their adblock?! Did their adblock quit? Is adblock missing? Why is no one concerned that adblock is missing?! We need milk cartons and a search party formed ASAP!"

Wondering what the hell is Windows doing when there is no processes yet still lags on keyboard input.

I've never liked Quora, but today I decided to sign up because I had an interesting question to ask, about my solution for an angular problem and why it could not be applicable.
Five minutes later 6 people followed my post.
Ten minutes later my question disappeared and nobody knows where the hell it went. WTF? My question count passed from 1 to 0, it disappeared from my profile and from the whole website. No notifies, no emails about it. What the hell happened?

"there is no WiFi in hell"
- me, thinking about my new flat(that has no internet yet)
Still wondering why this sentence came to mind...

Serious question for anybody who has dared to understand manager-speak: Do you know what a 'Task Rewind' is? We have it in our documentation, but google gives me no help as to what the hell it could mean.

...Or should I just take my original gut feeling and classify this as yet another word for the clown dictionaries?

So they give us a stress ball if a rant gets that many "upvotes". I find that really stressful, waiting and waiting.. And never get there. In the end of the day we are stressed af and with no stress ball 😂.
But hey, who da hell get stressed for this little? We devs are already stress free...

Why the hell people like Quora?
I hate that it forces me to sign in. I won't, because it makes no sense. Fuck it, my time is precious, don't play with it.

StackExchange is doing great by leaving information free for everyone and even allowing them to interact without an account.

Thinking about going full bum and just hike national parks until I die. No job, no possessions, no electronics, no hell, no heaven, no nothing - just living totally in nature - and if I die? So what 🤷‍♂️

That moment when the client sets the meeting during your lunch hour.

My mom: "My iPad is broken because I deleted by Goggle account"

Me: "Are you actually using Android tablet? How the hell that you deleted your Google account affects your iPad?"

My mom: "No, I definitely using iPad, and now I can't Goggle. And I don't remember my Goggle account. Can you come and help me to fix it?"

Me: "There is no way to fix it, if you don't remember anything about your "Goggle" account. But I will come and see what happen to your iPad later."

!dev but it is a fucking rant.

Happy new years fucking 2018 already turning off great with me freezing my fucking balls off cause my heater aint fucking working. Top it off my Damn Hotter Than Hell Water Heater froze and i have no hotwater. Fuck somebody find me that son of a bitch 2018 where i can take it out im the woods and shoot that dickheaded cocksucking asshole.

I see a lot of talk about complex numbers, and yet
for all they are worth, I have not once been
able to find an explaination on how to calculate
them by hand, namely the real component.
For example
(-5)**0.5
(1.3691967456605067e-16+2.23606797749979j)

2.23606 is obviously just the square root of 5, but where the hell did 1.369 come from?

Apparently no one fucking knows, and no site I've found gives a simple explanation for someone new to math in general.

"use a calculator", "hit a button",

How about no.

It's been broken in production for two weeks, and you want to tell me it's "drop everything urgent" now? Is it important? Yes. Is it urgent? No.

Also, how the fuck did you not know this was broken for two weeks, and what the hell do you want me to do about it now? It's your codebase, it passed all the tests in staging AFTER I made my changes to the infrastructure.

Golang code review be like

> oh no, you used prohibited `else` keyword

Context? Dosent matter. Its banned, mkay?

Fix? Oh you know its hell to read now

Every developer thought what the hell my colleague is writing in code.

After watching own code after a year, who the hell is the developer.

Oops it me. No comments :)

Alright, server got hacked a week ago. Bad enough on its own but okay, perfect time to change the server infrastucture completely instead of doing it later this year. Since Saturday we are working on setting everything up (game server, apache, etc.pp.) while making sure to configure everything correctly to be safer this time.

We are finally at the point where we could go back online. And what happens? One team member _now_ (6 days after the hack) suggests that it might be a good idea to format the hacked server and configure just what we need to patch the clients with it.

Great fucking idea, why didn't you have that idea 5 days earlier?! There was more than enough time already to format the old server and configure it. Another day delay, yay. X_X

Aaah, ranting really helps in those situations. Oh and Hi, I'm new here. Nice place, I like it. ^_^

Gives an award winning VR idea to our 'Digital Manager'

Says it's too hard for us to do ( it wasn't ) , goes out and pitches it to another digital agency for 'Help', ( mainly coz of the freelance commission )

They go ahead with the idea and make their campaign with it.

we don't get anything. no credit, nothing.

I wonder how the hell someone become a manager with that much of stupidity.

Learn to say no...more than anything I just want to help my fellow engineers. Now I am so loaded with so much work that 3 people couldn't poorly do my job. No relief in sight and all I get are unrealistic deadlines and poor criticism when my work is better than anything that was done previously.

Someone tell me why the hell I wanted to do this line of work again?

When you get to work with the Analytics side if the warehouse and one of the guys wants you to learn d3. Js to take a csv to make a html site.

Me: hell Yeah can't wait to make crazy circle graphs and line graphs for everyone in analytics

Analytics: Oh, we just need you to take the csv files and copy the same excel format to a html site. So, table, table, table, table.

Me: so...... No visualization graph

Analytics: No.

Had to work with a lazy, stupid idiot who (literally) couldn't declare an empty string. Got in via nepotism and not only were there no basics but also no willingness to improve.
Something tells me that throwing someone out shouldn't be a pleasant thing to do but hell, I'm so happy that we can finally stop carrying that piece of dead weight and get back to pure coding without having to teach Programming 101 on the side.

NO. I will not write code for a website on paper. And I will NOT draw my website. Go to hell.

What the hell do you mean there is no constructor that accepts 0 arguments?

Not actually solving the problem in an error and instead implementing a workaround thinking "no one's going to read this code anyway" when I'm actually just condemning my future self to a lot of hell.

I (junior dev) hate it when my boss tells me to do things that totally don't make sense...

I'm managing an internal site which requires a login to access. Why the hell should I change every damn article in the cms, so robots meta tag is set to no index. It's behind a fucking login and Google won't be able to index it! (except the login of course)

...

I did it anyway.

Best client I have ever experienced. Kappa

So, I got job to recreate one old website, because the old one was incredibly fucked up. She told us, it was made by someone retarded.
The code was fucked up even more than UI. It was definitely written by some kind of idiot. Diacritics, mixed languages, no OOP, no FW, just copy&paste. Yeah copy and paste for every page.
The DB was another level of shit. Inifine is not enough to describe it. Column names with whitespace, diacritics, uppercase, lowercase...pure hell. Yeah and I had to import it.

Whenthe new website was ready for testing I got an email from her that it was her who made the website... HER!! Fucking hell, no more of this please!

"What in the name of hell? Why? No.. absolutely not. Jeeeesus. Holy cow!! Haha.. that's funny. No friggin way! Oh that makes sense..wait, that makes no sense. Screw it I give up."

Today was a bad dev day working on a shitty React project. Not that React in itself is bad, but it can be hell to work with when the code is a big pile a crap full of anti pattern code. I spent the day refactoring to try to fix a bug, but to no avail. It would take days if not weeks to put some order in this mess and to prevent such bugs.

No sudo on cloud server... Thank you brewlinux you have saved me from dependency hell!

So I actually prefer npm to most other package managers (with the exception of go's package handling).
Like you need to look no further than to pip's hell of package management, to start appreciating how clean npm is.
***Shots fired***

I work remotely from the rest of my team and I just came back from a 1 week vacation. Logged in this morning and no one else was online...

My first thought was WTF happened... did something blow up do bad they all gelot fired???

Turns out today is a holiday for them. So now I've a whole day of peace and quiet to figure out what the hell in supposed to be doing again.

Recruiters have gone fucking mad! They are offering me a job in Brussels haha, this is at least a two hour drive away!!

Unless this job comes with a personal helicopter service, hell no!

Anyone who purposefully makes a CSS rule that’s like 10 classes deep can go fuck themselves with a elongated mason jar. Unless your an evil fuck or a spawn of satan, there’s no reason to make other dev’s jobs a living fucking hell. Fuck you.

Being a full stack developer has been an amazing journey. Looking at a project and understanding how the entire stack work starting from the mobile apps, APIs and DB is a total bless.

Nevertheless, lately switching context between modern languages has been extremely frustrating.

Swift looks like kotlin, elixir looks like ruby. Hell even swift and ruby are very similar.

Writing ruby in Xcode and wondering why the fuck Xcode complaining. Well no shit, swift is not ruby. Took me 5 mins of head scratching to notice it 😢

Hell I am now writing down the latest language I am working with on my hand to keep track 😂

It's like I know staying up all night is gonna kill me the next day, and I do it anyways... and now it's the next day. Fml 😫

Trying to learn Angular and reactjs, reading up the tutorial or documentation...

Why the hell are there ten million more shit I need to look at first? (such as rxjs, Babel, webpack... and whatever the fuck they are)

Now am I supposed to master those ten million tools/libraries before I can proceed?

Of course there is no ten million but mentally it's no difference. I'm just fed up with this.

Client: We need to support uploading doc, docx, all image formats and PDF to convert and combine everything into a PDF.
Me: lol. No.

No way in hell am I going to try to convert docx to PDF in Java.

what the hell this friendo just sent me a 100 line Julia function with variables names like `sauce` and `thingy` and expected me to debug it. And I guess his tab key was broken cause there was no indentation at all. Did I mention I’ve never used Julia in my life? Is this just Julia culture?

sudo pacman -Syu --force
sudo reboot

Openfire and owncloud no longer work.

sudo systemstl status openfire

Java exception relating to SQL.

sudo systemstl status mariadb

No such service mariadb

WTF why would that get uninstalled, how the hell.

sudo pacman -S mariadb

Everything now works again

Arch can be a confusing place

😺

Maybe that force was a bad idea.

Can somebody please tell me What is wrong with Microsoft and their broken piece of shit software?! (sorry to any Microsoft devs, if you read this). How the hell is it that their fucking installer and system repair features is this fucking useless? "Sorry, can't install on disk 0,cause the disk is in gpt format" NO SHIT, you were the fucking asshole who formatted it from the begining. Douchebag.

What the hell is wrong with the browser on iOS....
For Christ sakes almost no input attributes work. I have a Sign Up feature that validates passwords with a pattern attribute; doesn't work, required attribute; doesn't work, input type number; doesn't work.
What the fuck is wrong with this thing. Even Internet Explorer knows what those attributes means. Absolute joke now i need to implement it manually. Fuck off apple.

Microsoft Teams logic when using it from Chrome on Linux:

Wanna have a team call with multiple people? Sure no problem, proceed.

Wanna have a direct call with one person? Hell no, we don't do that here!

Also lets just ignore the fact that you are actually running Google Chrome, you should really try out Windows and Edge.

<rant>
How the hell do these people have a senior position?
<rant-cause>
Sdev:"The are no vulnerabilities in my code because i have Avast running at the same time"
</rant-cause>
SecOps: "<insert potoo bird reaction>"
</rant>

It has made life living like hell around muggles who think "it should not be that hard.. can you..."
NO! GO FUCK YOURSELF.
"Can you make me a POS system? A guy told me it should not take you more than a night. I will pay you (enough to buy Age of Empires 2 on Steam sale) as well."
NO GO LEARN TO CODE YOURSELF IN ONE NIGHT AND BUILD YOUR POS(piece of shit) YOURSELF IN THE NEXT NIGHT.

Today I wrote the most epic code.

The kind that breaks your brain, but when you're done with it you know it's time to go home and kick back coz you've done good.

It used recursion, did backflips to avoid unnecessary db calls, featured no code repitition. Hell I even commented the business rules it was following in there to explain what was happening.

I hope it works tomorrow when I test it 😂😂😂

A large pool of application instances' is writing logs to the same physical file. No way to distinguish which instance wrote which line.

Welcome to hell

We're being asked questions. We're replying that we cannot help unless logging is fixed. Noone's bothering to fix this mess and instead returns tickets with requests to investigate more.

F.U.N
/s

I'm at a hospital waiting and the tv is so loud so I thought I'd find a remote app to turn it down.

I found this app, one with no ads but look at all the damn permissions it needs....

What the hell,

Anyone know a good remote app that doesn't want to steal my identity?

Got engaged to set up the CI for a project. Worked with the main developer to set up the dev environment only to find out that he deleted 80% of the migration files because he didn't know what they were

Pitching Preact for a client. They wanted us to use Dojo because they bought support for it and I was like OH HELL NO FUCK NO

I know Windows update rants are a dime a dozen but HOW IN THE FUCK DID YOU MICROSUCKADICK BOOT LICKERS SHOVE SO MUCH HORSESHIT INTO THIS UPDATE THAT IT UNINSTALLED VIRTUALBOX? The hell?

Really, I rebooted my PC, short cuts everything, gone! Newer stuff is there plus any restore point would have had VirtualBox installed, so what the hell.

I’m stating to think that when Windows says “all your files are exactly where you left them” it’s a best guess because it just completely fucked with all your files for no reason and tried to put them back but it’s not so sure.

"Do you use CLRLN (MS Line Endings)".

Hell no, I'm on the dark side. I use LF

What is wrong with Stackoverflow mods and so called seasoned users? Why is everyone in such a rush to close questions and point you to other questions which has no relevance.

Once they do this, is just over. Explaining why they are wrong makes no diff. And you can't just repost. The question is just dead.

Genuinely think they should just burn in hell. Sick a holes. If you're not interested in answering or helping at least stay out of people's business.

I have do optimize a website to work in internet explorer... Hell no, but have to.
Which version will you then say that it should at least work in? Just the newest one.
I don't think I can get it to work in every single old internet explorer, but maybe the newest one could be possible.