I have this project I've inherited, yea I seem to do that a lot, but this damn thing, has to run in php5.4, has deprecated functions for php7 everywhere and a lot of them and there's no classes anywhere beyond some libraries.

Everything is procedural with random scripts being injected left right and center.

I kid you not,

$thisThing = true;
If(x==y)
require "path/to/some/script.php";
else
require "path/to/a/slightly/different/script.php";

If($thisThing === false){
// well it was modified in that small block about 10 different times
}

Those injected scripts then accept data from the parent scope so, looking at file X, you need to have open file A,B, E, and M to understand where variables have been initialised and what there current state could potentially be.

Basically this thing was bandaid after bandaid for feature requests with 0 refactoring.

Here I am trying to implement some basic functionality (should only take an hour or so + a bit of manual testing) but no, I'm literally at the point of hitting the delete button on the entire project and starting again.

both sides are real

So my brother had a school project for which he got an 9. I looked at this code and saw this comment. I laughed so hard. 😂

IT peoples..

As a Dev,
I hate writing Docs.

As a Dev,
I hate it when there's no Docs.

Vicious Cycle.

Teacher : use"ransomware" in a sentence
Student : I used to know a girl, but then she ransomware
Whole class :

When your API gives a successful response after 30 hours.
Pure bliss😇

just discovered this http://dev.to/rly
( image from: https://github.com/thepracticaldev/... )

tl;dr stupid clients with their stupid requirements.

Client: (on Monday) hypothetically could you implement "A"?
Me: (on Monday) yeah I could do that by Friday, let me know if you want me to start it.
Client: (on Thursday) hey remember we talked about "A" well do "B" instead and I'll need it by Friday still.
Me: "B" is completely different than "A" and will take probably twice as long.
Client: but you told me you could do it by Friday.
Me: ............ I want to smash your face.

Stop the plague!

"my app is so awesome you don't even have to close it, it crashes itself automatically. "

Clients be like...

I feel like people don't understand what I mean when I say "I'm a console gamer"

Which programming language should I learn first

Spiderman as Network Admin

The original website for the movie Space Jam. I wonder what it looks like, on a 4K display.

http://warnerbros.com/archive/...

Oh yes I know how it feels.

When stack is down 😵

Halloween customes...
(Click the blank to see image)

Today history was made, I was able to actually write code for almost 5 hours today at work without being interrupted!

The joys of being the sole developer and sysadmin of a service with hundreds of thousands of users.

Just spent a couple hours with my family. In that time half the infrastructure died and the service became unstable.

Best of all is that I seem to be the only one getting this so called "java.net.UnknownHostException: System error" exception.

How CV works...

Simple way of storing keys.

When your boss asks you to make a payroll system from scratch with every feature imaginable.

Joomla... just why? And you thought wordpress could be rough!

Made possible by Synergy! If you don't use it, you should. I'd be curious if people have dropped it for any better alternatives?

When there are more than one answers on Stack Overflow.

Made me laugh...

If you are happy and you know it...

Everyone gets a lot of ++ with good programming jokes and I'm sitting here like...