I really feel insecure, when it threatens me!

I hate when someone compares two languages depending on which one gives a "Hello world" with less lines of code.

Wordpress sucks!

When you discover that new CSS animation and want to use it everywhere

If you wait till the last minute it only takes a minute

Everytime I see one of my mates use git push force...

When you died but forgot the documentation

Made me laugh a little :D

Random : Hey you're a programmer right?

Me : Yeah? *excited about possibilities*

Random : I am having troubles installing a game I downloaded. I've been trying for three weeks now.

Me : *sigh* OK, I'll have a look, but I can't guarantee I'll get it right.

*Spend about 10 seconds installing game.*

Random : How did you do that?

Me : I read the error message, it was pointing to the wrong file.

Random : You are a god man *calls wife* come look at this genius. *calls daughter* look at that *calls dog* this guy is so amazing.

I also now avoid Random, he had three hard drives, each with a different version of Windows installed, he totally screwed his bios, he admitted not having put thermal paste on his cpu. And he asked me to fix all of this whenever I have time.

I am not your computer fixer guy. Take It to the shop.

Why does CSS never work the way you'd expect? All I want to do is align something to the bottom of a div. No. Will not happen. You'd think it might be something simple as 'v-align' or 'align: bottom' or 'fucking put it at the bottom: now;'

No, it's never that simple. I try every result I can find from googling. Nothing. Simply does not work.

How about trying to keep a div to a square when you resize the page? That should be simple? height = width right? Fuck you. Ha hahah, no you have to implement some horrendous arcane hack involving fake elements and other bullshit.

You finally fix one thing and everything else you had working is now broken.

...and then some fuckwit comes along and goes "Oh, CSS isn't hard..." and it takes everything you have not to beat them to death with your rubber duck.

What the hell is wrong with CSS? It's not even programming! It's just pure, sadistic hell! FUCK CSS!!!!

My head hurt today when I heard this: "We could not reproduce the problem but we put in a fix and are pretty sure that it will fix the problem."

Today we were told our work attitude was poor when we laughed aloud at a CEO's idea of building a satellite to give all clients 3G coverage. We usually build computer software and websites.

interviewer: Do you know HTML?

me: Yes sir!

interviewer: can you tell me its full form?

me: how to meet ladies.

interviewer: get the fuck out of here

Life goal: go to sleep in the same day I woke up

When they insist you comment your code and you know what you did, but; you're a Good guy.

The world needs 'User Error Codes'. At the very least it will give IT Support Techs a smile, nice to spread the love:

16001 - Incompatible User : replace user
16005 - User Deleted Content : laugh at user
16404 - User Not Found : check pub

aahh python is so nice 😍😁😇

Tonight, I had the pleasure of being challenged to make a virus for a VM over at the awesome "virus aquarium": computernewb.com

I present to you the Eevee fork/bomb.
Tonight, was the first night where I've ever sat down and programmed in VBS. I had a lot of fun doing it too. Right now I'm aiming at corrupting taskkill, tskill, and shutdown for good measure. These are a few of the things that my buddy has pulled on me that has made it difficult for me to continue moving forward.

The other part is to create seperate .exe files that would run my the necessary script. Each of these .exe files will be unique such that it's more difficult to shut all of them down at once.

Despite the fact that this thing will quite literally break your computer, it's fun being challenged to think outside of the box. Quite literally. I've always been careful about what things I touched on a PC, but tonight was fun because I was basically unchained and allowed to run rampant.

As a computer geek I think it's good to let out your inner demon and see what havoc one could wreak.

What a lot of people don't get..

This is how cables are meant to be! 😍

I admit doing this. Always.

Windows: The only OS where downloading the zip is faster than extracting it.

The question of life

Whenever a language has a goto statement I can't resist :

On error goto hell
// code
Hell:
// error handling

Stop multiplying chrome!!!!!!!!!!!

Old clock/calculator

I recently discovered, that Python is much better tool for scientific calculations then MATLAB. If only I had figured this earlier, my studies could be so much easier...

what people think when I say I program in COBOL..

Left my first comment after lurking for months and @dfox himself was the first liker. Better way to start the morning? 😅

IPv4 combat!!!