Linux doesn't need viruses people fuck that shit up themselves

So I just got one of those pop ups saying YOUR COMPUTER HAS BEEN HACKED.

I decided to call the number, while firing up a Linux virtual machine, running Linux Mint. I customized the home button to look like the Windows start menu logo, and proceeded to let that scammer connect to it.

He was so confused, considering the script he was reading off of was meant for windows. He opened up terminal, and started typing in "tree" and told me that's how many viruses I have.

😂😂😂

Pro tip - Infect your computer with small viruses to build its immune system.
Kinda shitty tip

Me: my computer is dead, are you using the iMac?

Sister: your computer is dead because of the coding! Even my friend agrees that coding causes viruses

WINDOWS USER VS LINUX USER

A Windows User's view on computing

I have the blue screen of death again
You'll never hear me say
I'm happy with my computer
At the end of the day
my operating system
dictates
my choice
in programs i use and the features I've
i have complete control
over nothing
i lose sleep
worrying about getting viruses
and
microsoft patching vulnerabilities in time
i don't have time to think about
some thing better.
i've learned
to live with old software issues
There's no way i'm planning
to change, and
its worth it to me

A Linux User's view on computing
(read this bottom to top)

Just called Asus for a problem with my router, went to send them my systemlog.txt for analysis

"Oh we don't have an email you can send that to"

Me: "(me calling bullshit) let me talk to the tech team.."

*Get transferred*

"Hello this is the supervisor"

Me: "fml"

"Ya we don't have an email you can send that to, but we can use a different departments verification services to get a file from you, has to be a picture though"

Me: "What? I got a .txt file here, I just want to get it to you, does it really have to be a picture?"

"Has to be a picture or a PDF, we can't take txt files"

Me: "fkin.. srsly? Fine"

I can't believe Asus's system srsly. I think it's for virus protection, but viruses can be embedded in both picture formats and PDF, but not in txt. So wtf is going on lol

1995: Viruses create funny VGA effect
2000: Viruses send SPAM e-mails
2010: Viruses steal credentials
2016: Viruses launch DDoS attacks
2017: Viruses demand ransom
2018: Viruses mine crypto coins

Client: is it possible to make my computer unhackable, untraceable, and make it to were it can never get viruses?

Me: yes!

Client: How?

Me: Just don't go on the internet.

Sitting on the bus updating my system.
Random girl: What are you using?
Me: Linux :).
Random girl: Ohh I use Mac, because that doesn't have viruses and can't get hacked!

*me waiting for a cliff to jump off*

My girlfriends mom asked whether I could fix her coworkers laptop. She claimed that it had viruses installed and laptop is laggy..

So... I got that laptop just now, got home and turned it on. It doesn't have WiFi drivers installed and I do not have any free Ethernet cable right now.

About the lags... Well you won't believe how many custom tool bars and security programs there were. McAffe, AVG, ESET and some Russian made firewall which asks for license key every 5mins.

And she asked me to reinstall windows and keep every file of hers, and she didn't bother to point which files of 300gb of photos/videos/docs are worth keeping and which are not.. HDD is 300GB :A fuck me

P. S. Since it's my first rant I can say ranting helps a lot to calm down

Came home to visit parents
Dad - Internet on my laptop isn't working (I switched him on a Ubuntu platform because he picked up a hobby of mining for viruses while doing..... "research" )
Me - did you mess with your networking settings again
Dad - (Defensible sounding) Noou
Me - (looking at settings, networking is switched off)
Me circa 3am - writing a python script to check for this automatically cos fml this is basic
Thanks for listening

> be me
> want to write troll "viruses" to fck arround with frieds
> write batch files
> shit everyone can see what I do
> google 'how to make exe'
> install VS
> google 'make exe with vb.net'
> spend 3hr/s copying the Internet
> send friend exe
> blocked by antivirus
> write other bullshit
> actually learn stuff
> shit I'm kinda good at this
> keep going
> 4 years later
> be system administrator / devop / web dev / app dev / desktop dev
> get paid
> inb4 wants to troll friend - finds dream job instead

My first post on devRant. Hope you like it (is a true story)
User : Hey, can you help me with this thumbdrive? Cannot open it
Me: Sure, let me see...
At this time I noticed that the drive was leaking something and smells funny also...
Me: Did you dropped it into water or something liquid?
User: Ehmm. Yes! Washed it with bleach!
Me: But why?
User : Oh! because of viruses.

Has anyone here have crazy ideas of what they want to do in life, only to realise those might be absolutely pointless?

As I've studied Food Production Technology, I have this idea of somehow making it possible to mix phages in foods for vaccination purposes. Phages are natural viruses to bacteria, so they are difficult to be used in that way...

Another idea is to make simulations of life of bacteria of different kinds.

And study the hell out of some pretty weird genetic mutations that are purely esthetic, but shouldn't happen.

Yeah, I am into microbiology and genetics...

I'd also like to develop games...

Tonight, I had the pleasure of being challenged to make a virus for a VM over at the awesome "virus aquarium": computernewb.com

I present to you the Eevee fork/bomb.
Tonight, was the first night where I've ever sat down and programmed in VBS. I had a lot of fun doing it too. Right now I'm aiming at corrupting taskkill, tskill, and shutdown for good measure. These are a few of the things that my buddy has pulled on me that has made it difficult for me to continue moving forward.

The other part is to create seperate .exe files that would run my the necessary script. Each of these .exe files will be unique such that it's more difficult to shut all of them down at once.

Despite the fact that this thing will quite literally break your computer, it's fun being challenged to think outside of the box. Quite literally. I've always been careful about what things I touched on a PC, but tonight was fun because I was basically unchained and allowed to run rampant.

As a computer geek I think it's good to let out your inner demon and see what havoc one could wreak.

Someday my toaster is going to have an IP address. A bad automatic firmware update will most likely cause it to get stuck on the bagel setting until I plug a usb key in and reflash the memory.

Grandma's refrigerator will probably get viruses, lock itself and freeze all the food inside, demanding bitcoin before defrosting.

My blender will probably be used in a massive DDoS attack because Ninja's master MAC address list got leaked and the hidden control panel login is admin/admin.

Ovens will burn houses down when people call in to have them preheat on their way home from work.

Correlations between the number of times the lights are turned on and how many times the toilet is flushed will yield recommendations to run the dishwasher on Thursdays because it's simply more energy efficient.

My dog will tweet when he's hungry and my smart watch will recommend diet dog food in real-time because he's really been eating too much lately--"Do you want to setup a recurring order on Amazon fresh?"

Sometimes living in a cave sounds nice...

15yrs ago I used to quarantine viruses 😪

Now a viruse is quarantining me 😒

Scammers mann:
——————————————-
“Hello sir, you have to renew your subscription before tomorrow else you’ll be charged $299.99 from your bank account.”

Me: And what’s this subscription you’re talking?

“Your Microsoft antivirus subscription, sir.”

Me: Oh wow, and when did I subscribe to this?

“Three years ago, sir.”

Me: lmbo. Please find someone else to scam.

“No sir, it shows here that you subscribed to Microsoft antivirus 3 years ago.”

Me: Dude, I was in college three years ago. I was too broke to be subscribing to useless stuff like this.

“But sir, its an antivirus. You subscribed to protect your Windows PC from viruses, malware so that bad people and hackers don’t get into your computer to do bad things and steal your info.”

Me: Well, what a coincidence. You’re describing yourself except you’re trying to attack my bank account not my pc. And oh, I’ve been using Linux for the past 5 years and currently own a MacBook so good luck finding someone to fall for this.

“Oh, I see. Sorry.”

*Scammer hangs up.

Lmbo, like dude seriously?

Unfortunately though, someone at my work mother fell for this and had to close all her accounts and create new ones.

Me on my phone, visiting a website. A popup appears "You have 300 viruses on your phone. Download this app."

You fucking piece of Javascript, stay in your limits.

Hello devRant! I was introduced to this app by a friend and decided to share my own rants.

Short tale from IT:
*User's laptop full of viruses upon 1 day of use*
User: It came like this! One of your IT guys must have put viruses on it.
Me: Yeah I'm sure that's the case.
*Sees rediculous download history in the last 24 hours*

I'm sure there will be plenty dev rants to come, as I am starting my software development career very soon.

Me: I want the laptop without pre installed Windows.
Seller: Genuine windows will take care of viruses. It's virus proof.
Me:😂 Windows? Ok but I don't want that, give me without it. 😂😂😂

Why do viruses make computers so slow...? Why can't their programmers implement them efficiently...?

It's like they're trying to be malicious...

Back in my teenage , a friend of mine asked me «Can you make me a software that guesses the result of a football match ?» I said «Sure, but you have to tell me how to calculate the chances of a team»
«Yeah, use the previous performances in the league»
«Ok, but you have to tell me how to calculate the expected result using previous performances» He laughed at me and said «If i knew how to calculate chances of winning/losing, i would not need a software!»
I tried to explain it simply «Computers can execute basic operations like sums or subtractions, and they know how to follow a list of basic instructions to give you a result»
He looked me like «If computers are so stupid like you are telling me now, are we all crazy idiots trying to learn how to use stupid machines??» and stated that i obviously misunderstood the real power of a computer. I walked back home thinking how funny was my friend believing in some kind of magic inside box called pc.

Few years later, i start studying IT at university. In the free time i look for small jobs like website development, small office network setup, pcs repair.
I continue noticing people believing that pcs knows what to do and how to do it.
«You sure I lost my data ? No i didn't do a backup. You sure my pc didn't do a backup ? No i hadn't a backup software»
«Why antivirus asks me what to do with the viruses it found. It should delete them obviously! Change my antivirus, it's too stupid for my pc»
«I want more people finding my business thanks to my website. How I imagine my website ? Yeah it has to be cool and full of cool stuff»

All that boring stories leads to my final question :

is our job dealing with persons who think we are some kind of wizard, well learned about dominating the pc magic ?

Please answer no.Please.

I was trying to fix my computer illiterate sisters computer, then I found out that there were two anti-virus programs that tried to delete each other.

When trying to delete the software I found out that the system admin does not have permission to use administrator rights at all. So in frustration I copied any valuable files, and reinstalled the entire OS.

Sometimes I wonder how people end up in these situations. She had 4 different anti-virus programs and still ended up getting multiple viruses! xD

ANTI VIRUSES AREN'T ALWAYS YOUR FRIEND!

So I'm under a little pressure to get an assignment done so I came home an was planning on working on it but Windows had other plans and decided to finish its update which I suspect copied my hard drive and uploaded it to the NSA at dial up speed because it it forever!!

But anyway back to the text in caps lock... I started working on it then when I hit compile I got an "access denied" error in the console and didn't know what the f*** was going on. So I decided to copy my filed to another directory and tried again... amazingly this worked so I carried on and after about 2 hours I get the same error -_- So instead of messing around and loosing my work I decided to commit it... but I cant... again "access denied" error.

After threatening my computer with a trip out the window, I finally decided to reboot it... cause "have you tried turning it off and on again" kept on rattling in my head.

After logging in I tried again and still the same error... Then I opened up my anti virus dashboard and went through the logs and found the screen shot attached.....

"There are no viruses on Linux :D" proudly says Jhonny when asked why is it better than Windows, just minutes after having run a script he downloaded on the internet, feeling superior because `sudo`ing it gave him "so much freedom".

Sometimes I think back to all the funny shit that happened and how simple stuff fucks everyone

- tired Database engineer deleting (not dropping, literally rm -rf) the database files on the wrong server

- Microsoft delivering viruses through updates

- Pissed and stubborn dev deleting his one line library repo which does something like removing a char left side of string fucking an unmeasurable amount of other projects

- Adobe getting hacked and exposed for storing passwords in plain texts

- a doubled line causing a bug called heartbleed in a fuckton of webservers

- a Tutorial Company getting kicked from github because their repo got so big github staff had to maintain the repo manually

- and an old one: bad code crashed a space shuttle

So it turns out that the company I work for uses and develops for Linux just because, I quote, "IT'S IMMUNE TO VIRUSES!!!".

Even if our systems are not connected to the internet (and never will be) and protected by armed guards.

I am stunned.

A: You are a sick bastard!
Me: No, I'm a linux user!
A: so what?
Me: viruses can't handle me

"Macs can't get viruses, right?"

I used to work in a tech shop. Old lady brings her laptop in claiming viruses broke her Gmail. I do the diagnostic, it's relatively clean with a bit of browser adware and tracking cookies. I call her and let her know there was nothing wrong with her Gmail and that it's good to go (she approved a tune up). She comes in and gets it. She calls later saying Gmail is still broken. I invite her to bring it in so we can have a look together (knowing for sure she was the problem). So we open up Gmail together and she shows me what she's doing. She's clicking on the sender and getting the contact card instead of the email opening. I show her how to actually open the email. She doesn't understand. I spend twenty more minutes explaining how to open an email. And this is the wk13 kicker, she waits until after twenty minutes to ask what "click" means. I was so done. That lady was too old to be using a computer.

I dont use Antivirus now for more than 8yrs. I just know how to prevent viruses.

Story time!

About seven years ago, I was in high school and had friends who kinda rocked with computers. I mean, they knew how to build one, how to make cross tests to find what was wrong with one, which softwares to install to detect viruses, etc. Once, I was with one of these friends, A, when another friend, G, came to us to explain his problem: his computer didn't turn on anymore. He said that he opened the computer, took off the RAM, that let the computer start once, but when he switched off again he wouldn't start anymore.

I was just a silent witness, and A started to ask G how it did happen. "Oh, I was downloading an Allopass generator, when my computer froze."
I smiled.
"But where on hell did you download that? So we can try to find exactly what virus you downloaded! " "Actually", said G, "I was on a streaming site at first, then saw an, then another, and after a dozen sites I found this soft..."
"But", A couldn't believe it, "you don't have antivirus or anything that would have told you not to download it?"
"Oh, it tried, but I reaaaaaally wanted this software. So I shut down it and managed to download it."

I burst in laugh. At the same time I was feeling bad for this poor computer. What amazed me it that not once during the process, G thought it was a bad idea to download an Allopass generator found in an ad that even his antivirus told him it was dangerous.

Nice ending, A took the computer, and managed to make it work again. He even managed to keep important stuff that wasn't destroyed by the virus. G got a little lesson by A, then got yelled at by his parents, because the computer was in fact theirs.

Thanks for reading, and sorry if there's any mistake (grammar, punctuation, etc.), I am on my phone with autocorrect set on french. Have a nice day!

I was blowing dusts from my PC opening it's casing. My parents came near to me and said "Will this gonna wipe all the viruses from this PC ?"

Everyone that says you can't get viruses in Linux because only .exe compiled programs can contain malicious code or some bullshit like this is a fucking retarded

Sorry I had to say it

Some years back (Window XP time)..
There used to be desktops mostly.

I was opening the CPU casing to clean the boards and my mother came near to me and saw lots of dusts inside. She realized something and told this : " You don't often clean these dusts and that's why your computer is getting more viruses."

Oh, you're studying something to do with computers? Here, fix my ancient laptop that has viruses from years of clicking the first download button I see. Oh, and here's $5.

Are you fucking kidding me, Microsoft?!
You are literally doing the opposite thing of "protecting me".

I might as well just download all the viruses myself and watch my CPU rise up like that. Thanks, Microsoft for nothing, but bad things.

"Why is it we never get viruses?"

"Because we practise safe hex"

Mum: can you look at my phone?
*bunch of random shit pops up all over the place*
Me: your phones got a bunch of viruses on it or something. You'll have to get it fixed
Her: can't you do it? You make apps. Can't you just make an app for me to fix my phone?
Me: I don't really make apps, besides that's kind of impossible.
Her: so what did you go to university for?
Me: -___-

My son is into playing Roblox. He asked me to help him find an auto clicker that doesn't have viruses/malware. We looked into cheatengine (which I have used in the past), but despite getting it from a legit source it is getting flagged as malware. So we started writing one with Python. I did check to see what their policy on bots is:

"Using bots that are programmed to run disruptive, large-scale tasks"

is the only text I can find about bots. It seems like they don't care if you make bots to automate tasks or play the game.

I plan on having some fun with this and including a little gui to control the bot while the game runs in the background (the goal). I had tried to get my son to have an interest in programming so this is a good intro.

I've always liked the idea of a virus that attacks other viruses. An antivirus virus, if you will. It would infect a computer and clean out all the malware and perform a bunch of random system improvements, then delete itself without a trace. To the end user, one day their computer would suddenly start running a little better for no apparent reason.

I visit my mom once a year, and usually perform preventative maintenance on her computer. Scrubbing it for viruses, applying updates for drivers, etc. On one such occasion in the early days, she complained that the PC was slow, and would quit. I opened it up, and there was a 1/4 inch layer of dust everywhere, and any and all vents were completely blocked, to the point that fans weren't turning. I blew that crap out, and from that point on became her IT guy.

When your payload has persistence and cant be detected by known anti viruses and your prof. gave you his laptop to repair but you're fighting to do the right thing.

I used to think I was so clever by viewing the source code of websites, and would just scroll through it for fun, but what really got me started in programming was the TI-83 calculator I got in grade 10.

You couldn't view the code of most programs on that calc without a computer connection, but I managed to get my hands on the source code of something simple and learned how to prompt for values and calculate things with them. Before I knew it, I was making little programs in BASIC that did formulas for me (Area/circumference of a circle, etc.). One of my professors caught me showing my calculator to another student in class, and assumed I was being a bad student. When I said I made a program as a shortcut for one of the formulas we were learning, she tried to call my bluff and said to write the whole program on the whiteboard for the class to see. 10 minutes of writing and more than one blank stare from my classmates later, the teacher just waved me off and continued the lesson. I was chuffed :-). I made these simple programs for all my math classes throughout high school.

Unfortunately, my first year of university I took a CS course, and my teacher was probably the worst I've ever had in my life. I decided it wasn't for me, and though I did maintain my general aptitude for tech (and was still the person who fixed everyone's printers and viruses), I took a different path, eventually getting an Arts degree in Anthropology.

Where I live, the market for this is more than stale. In fact, it's completely flat, so I thought I would take a course about programming with Arduinos for fun and see if I should return to school for a different certification. It was AWESOME! I made a wireless weather station with Xbees and sensors and built my own anemometer.

I got a job at a manufacturing company, and had the fortune to build a robot which eventually made it's way to the second season of Battlebots. The level of intelligence and enthusiasm I encountered really inspired me, and now here I am at 31, halfway through a BSc in Computer Science and working for a company that makes 3D printers.

It's been a long journey, but the adventure always starts anew tomorrow.

Heights of laziness.

My dad's laptop having "WINDOWS OS" got full of viruses and my dad wanted me to repair it since I visited my home.
But I insisted him to get it repaired at some IT shop. Went to an IT shop, my dad introduced the shopkeeper that I am his son and is a software engineer. That moment, I really felt bad that even I could have done formatting and installing applications back.

Now, let's hope it comes back full healthy and clean.

"Windows has so many viruses because it's open source" - genuine comment from a "lead" developer

Fuck windows. Fuck windows and their stupid old OS.

Sure. I want advertisements on my start menu.

Nope, don't mind getting a vague description of some update and having to wait to restart my machine. Don't need to know what your changing.

What better way to upgrade an OS than to DL 6 gb of stuff that's probably mostly unchanged code.

Bing. I'll take 2 please.

How come stuff on mac and linux is always different than the way windows does it? Fuck those OSes! Visual Studio is only like a 50 gig install and I can develop iOS apps on it... plus it has C# AND F#.

No viruses with windows defender. I upload my personal files so MS can scan them just to be safe thou.

Tried to simulate spreading of viruses in quarantined vs non-quarantined environment.

Non-quarantined people are not understanding the concept of boundaries.

My mom got infected with one of those stupid you have a virus redirect viruses. Malware bytes isn't useful.
To make matters worse it doesn't redirect in Edge, so she's forced to use Edge until further notice.
It's going to be a long week.

Also I don't have much experience with Windows viruses especially these redirect ones, so yay!

So BitDefender started detecting some System32 programs as viruses. That is reg.exe, cmd.exe, conhost.exe, netstat.exe, taskkill.exe...

If we're all here.. who wrote all the viruses?😐

When I was in school, I had a period called "computers" every week. We were told by our computer teacher to remove our shoes outside the computer lab to prevent viruses from entering the computers.

Viruses are windows best friend

When you suddenly got a cold after long hours of coding/gaming and your mom says blames your computer and its "viruses" 😐😐😐

FUCKING AVAST!!!!!! It's now saying my apps and the compiler are viruses..........

*flashback to days of windows xp*
Just finished formatting and installing xp on friend's trash pc cuz the os was compromised due to a shitload of viruses. Notice that other partitions might still be infected and i don't have an antivirus on me.
"Big boi Ill be back in an hour, just whatever you do, don't open ANY drives no matter how urgent it is. Just Don't do it or i won't be able to help you"

Come back and VIOLA this worthless trash avocado opened a drive to play a game and d pc was infected. Again. Back to square one. It almost broke my heart. Almost.

I remember that day well. I was 15yo and hopeful. That day marks d start of my hatred toward tech incompetent people.
SO FKIN
A N G E R Y

So today
College
My classmates stink of incompetence. I'm not that smart in fact i consider myself to be a noob among devs but seeing ppl that are several order of magnitudes trashier than me breaks my heart and makes me soo Fkin

A N G E R Y

Hey you cunt of a skunk, WHY can't you even compile a fkin cpp file without an IDE what the fuck is wrong with you? What do u mean ur program isn't compiling? Well it literally says there syntax error on line 15 congrats u moron u fkin spelled else as esle. Why shud I waste my time on stupid Shitty ppl like u huh?

And waddup mr shithead.No. Not gonna help you partition ur drives and install a fkin linux just cuz ur too lazy to google it urself.
And if i refuse to help cuz im working on my shit then I AM D BAD GUY? Stop bitching about me u lazy bastards get ur lazy arse off and read the fkin book. Watch a tutorial or sm shit why the fuck can't u understand YOU LITERALLY PAY TO COME HERE AND YOU AREN'T EVEN TRYING TO LEARN THE BASICS GOOD LUCK GETTING A JOB YOU WORTHLESS CUNTS.

Now now all the poison is out i can finally focus on improving myself and stop giving a fuck about them. Its hard to be calm and cool when ur surrounded by ppl like this all day. Even harder when there is almost noone that you can look upto. All this time, there's only one thing I've learnt- in a place like dis, being an asshole is better dan being polite.

So like a year ago an Microsoft Scammer called me while i was middle in my exams week, so i took half an hour break to talk etc. So i started my VM and let him on it. He started showing me things that aren’t “safe” etc. But i needed to go. So i said: “Call me again tomorrow same time” Well the next day he called. But i really did not have the times for all of this because of my exams so i cut it into a short conversation like this: “Well sir, You made me so afraid yesterday with how many viruses i had, that today i went to the apple store and bought an MacBook and i’ve thrown the other laptop away.” Then he was quiet for like 25 seconds and was started with: “Sir your MacBook has serious problems let me help you!” Then i called him out for being a scammer and he hang up. Just wanted to share 1 of the few stories i have had with such “microsoft” scammers.

Everybody is criticizing Microsoft for leaving too much legacy code in Windows, etc., but let me tell you that I prefer 100% that and have lifetime backward compatibility than having to deal with Google bullshit.

Google sucks ass.
It's one of the most dev unfriendly company on this planet (along with Facebook).

You can't fucking change BASIC stuff in Android SDK every fucking version.
You just can't!

You can't use a system of "PERMISSIONS" each developer has to set in its application and each user has to accept during the installation, that a few versions later become USELESS... because "Hmmm… no, It's not enough, let's make a new privileged permission that makes the old one fucking worthless".

YOU FUCKING, TOXIC, BASTARDS.

It's my app, my code, my device, my fucking conditions. If I want to install viruses on my device, I should be able to do it.
I shouldn't have to call fucking Sundar fucking Pichai fucking CEO of fucking GOOGLE.

USERS != BABIES.
DEVS != CRIMINALS

We are the reason you have a fucking job, fucking food on your fucking table.

I want a fucking GOD_MODE permission in the next SDK, assholes!

You can't REMOVE fucking "Android.OS.getSerial()" making it only for system apps.
It's not sensible data… and if It's in your opinion, you've already created a "android.permission.READ_PHONE_STATE", so what else do you want, fucking asshole?
Right, you want to introduce "android.permission.READ_PRIVILIGED_PHONE_STATE" to make obsolete the other one, son of a bitch!

I don't fucking use you're garbage Google Play Store, no worries! I won't upload my app on your servers, bitch!

They've created a monopoly in the industrial space (PDAs) and they keep making fucking wrong decisions every single year.

My job is already stressful, why you can't just stop making it worse? fml

Oh crap, these new viruses are becoming more advanced.....

*Now a days*
We don't need viruses ☣ or malwares to slow down MS Windows 💻,
Two Tabs of Google Chrome does it delicately. 😂😂😂😂😂

"linux is the slowest os, windows cant get viruses, we are almighty" this Windows pm didnt lie, he just said Alternative facts

I'm a little confused here. How are "viruses" different from "exploits" in Linux? The way I see it, they're the exact same thing. Although "exploit" makes it sound cool 😂

"windows is not a virus. viruses are well-engineered"

Seems to be true.

Power to create viruses to infect Linux

Ransomware has the effect to destroying data and my will to live.

I come in to work yesterday to see everyone panicking. We got hit by WannaCry. The boss is with IT dealing with it and sends all of us home. No biggie, since all of my work data is backed up on an offsite server.

I come back into work to still see everyone in a frenzy. I think they are still overreacting to the attack, so I go to my corner in the office. I boot up to see the Ubuntu logo, which is a huge problem, not for me of course, but for everyone else who can barely work Windows. I barge in on my boss and ask him why the fuck is Ubuntu on the PC's.

He replies, "I looked it up, Linux is not affected by viruses".

What the fuck is wrong with people? After I tell him to revert back to Windows because he's being a fucking retard, he goes ahead to send all of us home.

I can only hope he doesn't install Zorin or Elementary because I will quit.

My family thinks I can fix any broken printer, crack software, detect viruses and repair the apps on their phones.

At the moment, I'm an automation engineer and no matter how many times I explain what that is to them, they keep bugging me to build an online store kinda website with tons of functionality and within a few months. Oh, and make it be in the first results on Google search. I mean ffs, that's frustrating af!

To play with the "Windows support" calling about viruses from my computer is propably the funniest thing I do on a regulary basis.

Okay so my brother in law has a laptop that is... To put it mildly, chockful of viruses of all sort, as it's an old machine still running w7 while still being online and an av about 7 years out of date.

So my bro in law (let's just call him my bro) asked me to install an adblock.

As I launched chrome and went to install it, how ever, the addon page said something like "Cannot install, chrome is managed by your company" - wtf?

Also, the out of date AV couldn't even be updated as its main service just wouldn't start.

Okay, something fishy going on... Uninstalled the old av, downloaded malware bytes and went to scan the whole pc.

Before I went to bed, it'd already found >150 detections. Though as the computer is so old, the progress was slow.

Thinking it would have enough time over night, I went to bed... Only to find out the next morning... It BSoD'd over night, and so none of the finds were removed.

Uuugh! Okay, so... Scanning out of a live booted linux it is I thought! Little did I know how much it'd infuriate me!

Looking through google, I found several live rescue images from popular AV brands. But:
1 - Kaspersky Sys Rescue -- Doesn't even support non-EFI systems

2 - Eset SysRescue -- Doesn't mount the system drive, terminal emulator is X64 while the CPU of the laptop is X86 meaning I cannot run that. Doesn't provide any info on username and passwords, had to dig around the image from the laptop I used to burn it to the USB drive to find the user was, in fact, called eset and had an empty password. Root had pass set but not in the image shadow file, so no idea really. Couldn't sudo as the eset user, except for the terminal emulator, which crashes thanks to the architecture mismatch.
3 - avast - live usb / cd cannot be downloaded from web, has to be installed through avast, which I really didn't want to install on my laptop just to make a rescue flash drive
4 - comodo - didn't even boot due to architecture mismatch

Fuck it! Sick and tired of this, I'm downloading Debian with XFCE. Switched to a tty1 after kernel loads, killed lightdm and Xserver to minimize usb drive reads, downloaded clamav (which got stuck on man-db update. After 20 minutes... I just killed it from a second tty, and the install finished successfully)

A definitions update, short manual skimover, and finally, got scanning!

Only... It's taking forever and not printing anything. Stracing the clamscan command showed it was... Loading the virus definitions lol... Okay, it's doing its thing, I can finally go have dinner

Man I didn't know x86 support got so weak in the couple years I haven't used Linux on a laptop lol.

When all of your friends know you're a web programmer, and for some reason assume this also means you know how to fix the viruses they have on an old Windows XP computer. Like, seriously wut? 🙄

I have a friend that keeps his phone on "Battery saver" all the time... It's painful to always see that notification with "your phone is on battery saver mode".
He told me he does that because he does not want his battery to empty too soon...
A while ago he refused to use my Micro USB cable because he told me there might be viruses on that cable. ON THE CABLE!!!! Like viruses stored inside a cable that has no memory... A simple cable ( da fcuk? )

The worst part? He's studying computer science :/

In 3 years, my antivirus software NEVER made a sound. But I'm pretty sure I visited some nasty websites this whole time and download many viruses.

Does it mean my antivirus never worked?

So I just discovered an awesome feature provided by my mobile provider for only 0.99€ per month.

Yeah, Deep Packet Inspection is only 0.99 extra.

Why should I pay my provider for watching my traffic? Sure, they allert me when downloading viruses, but that is a lame excuse, especially for mobile use.

There are some developers that are cool and I wouldn't mind being friends with, and than there are some developer who I wouldn't mind crashing their computer with viruses and deleting all their files.

Windows 10 is a bloody virus that hijacks and controls your life. Wasting away my morning cause if updates... 2 hours and counting....

I just realized something, they put a lot of ads and viruses on porn sites because they were so horny, they didn't even think of the consequences opening the sites

*Mind Blown*
Yes Im a bit slow on this...

Remove a users virus, save them for a day. Teach a user to Google error messages, save them from a lifetime of viruses.

First time I started playing with the VB macros in Word making little joke viruses to scare my friends.
Was 1997 and I was about 10 years old. Thankfully my playful streak never went past harmless practical jokes.

In my firm we've got a shadow IT team where I'm part of. Sometimes we need to call the "IT support team" who are lacking the knowledge of common IT sense. Some weeks ago I called them up to extend our ip range since we've got no rights to do it ourselve. They replied with: please disconnect the cable and reconnect it. (Bear in mind our lease time was 24h)

Some other guy called me up to check my pc for viruses... he was looking for the task manager so I pushed ctrl shift esc and he asked me wondering HOW did you do this? He even didn't know things like %appdata%. I had a talk with him and gave him as much tips as I could.

The poor fella

Thanks for reading my nonsense post

Why do windows users keep installing those bloated anti viruses and firewalls that just slow the hack of their system when windows essentials is enough with near to no impact

Those are the same people that got their system full with malware

A story from the old days

My father had a fame around he's friends that he understood this nasty business that is computers and in the pre-windows time he was reasonably knowledgeable... But as things evolved he didn't evolve with them so when he's friends asked him to help he would take me to solve the problem...

One day he asked me to see what was the problem with a friend's personal computer. This is a 70+ year old man.

When I get to his computer I do a quick check and see it's too infected with so many viruses to the point it is better to just format and clean install, so I ask him to backup he's files and the next day I picked up the PC and clean installed and setup the all thing...

Not more than 3 months pass and the guy says to my dad the problem was back...

I get there and the antivirus was turned off and the PC was infected... Found it weird but okay, enabled the antivirus, cleaned everything... Back to as new.... This time I instructed him to keep the antivirus always updated and running...

One week later to my surprise: he reports it is all back... Now I am getting tired of this and went to he's browsing history to find out how the hell he is achieving this... Too my surprise the amount of early internet shady porn sites was over the top...

I know had to tell a 70+ year old man how to safely watch porn... But that is not my problem, so I ask him what kind of sites he's going to... He blames he's grandson for using the internet in he's computer... Only problem: he's grandson is 2 years old...

I just set up the bookmarks with some children sites and convinced my father to take a look at that and either instruct the man or the kid on how to watch porn without getting a venereal disease...

My grandparent once wanted me to fix their tablet which they said had a virus. I couldn't find anything so I went to the web browser. A tab was up which said "Your Android has 5 viruses please download our antivirus to clean your phone"

It had the fake gif flashing alerts and whatnot so I simply closed out of the tab and deleted all of the recent "antiviruses" which had been downloaded

To this day they think I'm a technical genius for the easiest "fix" I've ever done.

Oh and merry Christmas everybody! I'm new here but it seems like a great community of people :)

Malwares are nasty applications, that can spy on you, use your computer as an attacker or encrypt your files and hold them on ransom.

The reason that malware exists, is because how the file system works. On Windows, everything can access everything. Of course, there are security measures, like needing administrator permissions to edit/delete a file, but they are exploitable.

If the malware is not using an exploit, nothing is there to stop a user from unknowingly clicking the yes button, when an application requests admin rights.

If we want to stop viruses, in the first place, we need to create a new file-sharing system.

Imagine, that every app has a partition, and only that app can access it.

Currently, when you download a Word document, you would go ahead, start up Word, go into the Downloads folder and open the file.

In the new file-sharing system, you would need to click "Send file to Word" in your browser, and the browser would create a copy of the file in a transfer-partition. Then, it would signal to Word, saying "Hey! Here's a file that I sent to you, copy it to your partition please!". After that, Word just copies the file to its own partition, signals "Ok! I'm done!", and then the browser deletes the file from the shared partition.

A little change in the interface, but a huge change in security.

The permission system would be a better UAC. The best way I can describe it is when you install an app on Android. It shows what permission the app wants, and you could choose to install it, or not to.

Replace "install" with "grant" and that's what I imagined.

Of course, there would be blacklisted permissions, that only kernel-level processes have access to, like accessing all of the partitions, modifying applications, etc.

What do you think?

Oh God, how I hate a new windows laptop.
The machine just stutter for simple things. I literally spent almost two hours to download a 2 gigs .iso file.
With my speed test as normal as it always was with my previous and slower machine.
The worst part is to install another os.

I struggled to find an option in BIOS to disable Intel's RST. Which was a no no because Ubuntu couldn't understand it's config.
There's an app that comes pre installed to manage these settings. And the sucker didn't have any option to disable. Why? Because It's deprecated!

I spent 5 hours to understand that l needed to access the machine BIOS and activate a hidden option (did you think the option was right there huh?) in order to remove Intel RST.

Oh God how I hate tech monopoly.

Now my machine can breath without shitloads of unused apps and garbage "file checkers" and "anti viruses" that comes pre installed.
And things download super fast without any struggles.

So I'm on my morning stroll. Walking, enjoying, watching the world around me.. It's nice how cherries blossom. They smell very tempting to stop there and enjoy the moment. Some flowers under the cherry...

Why do plants blossom again? Oh yeah, that's right, to exchange some speciments in order to grow fruit and seeds. To have their offspring. Just like every other living macroorganism [with a few exceptions ofc]. Life has no other way to survive but to exchange genetic material between two parties and only then trigger growth of the new life.

And that is a very strict rule. No more, no less: it takes exactly 2 organisms to make new life. But why is that? If my memory serves, theory of evolution says that life is like business: cut the losses and let the profits run. Over time it discards everything not required for the organism in order to save energy, and only successful new "investments" remain in the genome. The unsuccessful ones die before they proliferate, so the bad genes shall not survive.

It also says that very simple things, very simple changes lead to very complex outcomes. Us. Life.

But what is simple about life having to need 2 other lives? Exactly 2. It's either simple or efficient, depends on perspective. BUT IT IS NOT BOTH. Look at cells. They just split in half and multiply. Dead simple. It takes one of them to make another one. But with mammals, birds, reptiles, plants and other macroorganisms [excpt fungi] this is not the case! Why?!? I can't think of any scenario where two generic microorganisms, following some dead simple mutations, would come up w/ something that inefficient and overly complex. Like they're living on their own, multiplying by division, and smth very simple happens and they can no longer divide, only mate in pairs. The primitive, efficient and simple mechanism gets terminated and replaced with a different one, incredibly complex one!

Sure, we have protozoa which have similar reproductive mechanisms. They exchange genetic material to multiply.

But look at our, human cells. They dont need that! Look at some reptiles, some plants that only take one to make another. They don't pair as well! It's simple. Efficient. Why do protozoa need 2 for the species to survive?

It's not simple and efficient [tho helps us adapt, but its not my point for now]. See, things like this make ne wonder. What if we, the life, are not as accidental as we think? What if this whole mechanism was set off by someone or something billions of years ago? That's mean there are much older, much more superior cognitive organisms than us. What if protozoa was version 3 of new life [the first two did not survive]? Viruses - v2? Sea creatures - v3, reptiles - v4, and so on until they came up with us, mammals? That'd surely mean we are not alone in this universe. Are they watching us? Will they create a new species any time soon? What's our purpose, are we just an experiment?

And so, from cherry blossoms to existensial dilemma, my stroll is over. Time for breakfast :)

"oh, you work with it? Can you help me remove viruses?"

hmpf...

Some people may remember me posting about our rabbits a while ago.

Sadly they both passed away a few weeks back.

They were both a little over a year old and died within 4 days of each other, one on Wednesday morning and then one on the Saturday morning.

After about 1200 in emergency vets fees and another 500 for a post mortem on Spencer (who died on Saturday) we found out the vets had fucked up their vaccinations.

In the U.K. it is recommended that rabbits are vaccinated against 3 viruses Myxomatosis (Myxo), Rabbit Haemorrhagic Disease Variant 1 (RHD1), and Rabbit Haemorrhagic Disease Variant 2 (RHD2).

They got their vaccinations for Myxo and RHD1 in January, and went back two weeks later for their RHD2 vaccination.

Now it turns out, when they went back for the second vaccination they were incorrectly given the Myxo and RHD1 vaccinations again.

The lab results showed Spencer had RHD, but not which variant and it is safe to assume Frank also has RHD.

The vets were going to get another lab to test for the variant but decided not too (funny that they don’t want to confirm whether it was their fuck up that killed two otherwise perfectly healthy rabbits).

The wife and I are considering getting legal advise.

What fucks me off so much is that it wasn’t a situation where there were two possible courses of treatment, or they didn’t respond to treatment, it was just a human fucking up.

The practice manager also like to keep mentioning that vaccines aren’t 100% effective, and because they won’t test for the variant of RHD we will never know 100% whether their fuck up killed our rabbits.

I’m contemplating trying to get in touch with the lab and paying for the extra tests myself.

Due to the nature of the virus it also means we can’t get anymore rabbits for 3-4 months.

I don't use an antivirus and I probably never will.

I'll share two experiences from two different people to provide you people some base.

Firstly, this friend of mine wants to learn Android. He doesn't even have chrome installed. So I'm like let's get you a decent browser. I open the website to Firefox and I'm ready to install it.

He stops me.
He says don't install anything this isn't my laptop it's my father's and it'll get a virus.
*Facepalm*
I assure you it won't get a virus. You already have a fucking premium anti whatever the fuck suite installed so why are you worried?

Viruses are intelligent they can get anywhere. The argument was proving a waste of time besides I realized I had the files on my computer and just needed to transfer them via a thumb drive or something.

I bring over my thumb drive. Mr.viral fuck here is so shocked I thought his balls fell off. No! He doesn't want a thumb drive either, apparently they carry and generate viruses.

At this point I gave up to retain my health in the long run.

You know what I ain't going to share the other experience cause it's even more messed up.

Seriously what's with the paranoia ? I never have used an antivirus ever on my Windows installation and have never gotten infected by one either. How the fuck do people get infected by them ? I'm seriously missing something here.

Caught up enjoying myself last few months , of using Linux (Ubuntu) O.S

Now, I won't be switching back to Windows ,
I mean who will not enjoy an open source O.P that doesn't generally need a machine reboot and isn't vulnerable to malware , viruses

Viruses are little monsters that eat your computer away (or what's left from it) after it's dead. They start with the heart (BIOS) and then go to the CMOS chip.

Client:' I think that one email account is sending some spam emails. Can you make some checks?'
Server:'Queued emails:730511...please kill me'

There are so many viruses out there that claim to be automatic windows driver updaters that I'm beginning to wonder if legit ones exist at all! Anyone have any experience with the real deal?

Was checking what my coworker was up to. He was given a computer to fix by another coworker and the PC belonged to his child.

”Oh I just uninstalled Steam. It’s a bad software with loads of viruses that slow down your computer!”

I wonder if software companies leaks their cracked product to internet with viruses to remove users' desire for using their products for free 🤔

I am trying to install eclipse for college

Windows defender blocked it because it found malware virus in it

Disabled windows defender

Waste my time to download again

Kaspersky blocked it because it found multiple trojans

Kaspersky saved my computer over 30 times from real damaging viruses

Disable kaspersky too

Waste my time squared download eclipse again

Open eclipse

Import tomcat v8

Eclipse crashes

My dad got me an old windows 98 (Still relatively new) with flight sim. I downloaded limewire to download limewire pro. I was surprised I got viruses on my pc, had to ask his colleague to fix it. Good ol' times

What are your thoughts?

I'd wish illness was like pc viruses, run a process and everything fine.

I would get a testing job and thus exploit weaknesses in the ai- created software.

After finding such weaknesses, I would write AI debilitating viruses and WannaCry-like ransomware until I get my job back!

If that doesn't work out, I'd go into linguistics.

I played around on the school computers, creating "viruses" and stuff to log my friends off their computers, or open command prompt infinitely 😂 I also tried to make a Jeopardy game with batch for a project. Let's just say I should have used PowerPoint

To the people who so blindly hate apple: Name my other choices...

Winblows is a bloated system with no real package manager, i can't stop their endless updates, it gets viruses so easily, that you have to install an antivirus, and i hate their flat design, and linux is for haX0r kids who wanna look cool, it's just not practical for personal use.

So my computer is doing ok after becoming spastic over viruses. I did hardware and software cleaning. First time I did removing hardware parts but it worked it way better than expected with the static sensitive parts (I used a anti static wrist band). Congrats to myself I guess :)

My dad has gotten some annoying viruses in his PC and I'm getting so mad at how slow his computer is and since I'm the techie at home... //ANNOYED SIGH

I shall do it. I shall get my dad's computer rid of this crap but it's so slow oh my god >:V

BT "We'll give you BT Virus Protect, which protects against viruses, phishing and other online attacks."

Or... For a start, let your users provide a good secure password when signing up? More than 8 characters is a bit ambiguous. 20 minutes later and several attempts to find out it can't be longer than 20 characters, only upper and lower case letter and numbers aaaand must start with a letter is a bit s**t. Not to mention LatPass doesn't like it as you can't copy and paste.

My PC is now a malware battle ground.

Virus on my PC self running a page on chrome every 30 minutes telling me to remove other viruses. I really can't wait to see what the other viruses have to say about this one (horux.cz). 🍿

I modified the registry on a co-workers computer to execute a reboot command when they logged in. I removed it for them after they were about to start deleting random files in safe mode they thought were viruses.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT
WHY IS THIS CLASS SO FUCKING FULL OF INCORRENT INFORMATIONS?????????

I've started university last year ( 2017) and I got a class named "Basics of Informational Communication Technologies" and it's so freaking bad...
The book is obviously just an english book translated to our language and signed by the proffesor. I've been trying to study it right now but it's so frustrating and I'm just 15 minutes into reading. HTML is not a programming language, viruses are not always under 4 kb, source codes are not always based on classes and so on....
Not to mention so many badly explained stuff that could be explained soooo much better and simpler...

How do I deal with this?

Outlook warms me when opening excel attachments that it might contain viruses (PROTECTED VIEW).Ooooh fancy....
Only problem is that it's in Sent Items and if it had a virus I'm already f...ed

Friend: "Can i borrow some flash drives?
Me : "Here you can get mine. "
Friend: -viruses, -scams, -key loggers -autoruns "No dude just forget that i was here " *gone*

This is what happened. I had Linux on my machine. I wanted to show off. So I asked my friend to give me a flash drive with full of viruses which will kill HIS machine if plugged in. Wanted to show that Linux is superior. So he handed me a flash drive. And while he was watching, I plugged it into my machine, proudly. Alas, my machine was dead in half a second. I was like, WTF man. I asked him, "what runs on your machine?". He replied, "freaking Linux"

(this is not a true story) :p

I think we should ask the CDC to start versioning viruses. I mean we started with COVID-19. From what I hear it should be COVID-19.1 or COVID-19.2 by now.

I have no idea why and how people get adware/malware/spyware/viruses, ransomware, and the like on Windows machines. I've been using Windows since I was a small child and on the machines I've used (mainly my older brother's), automatic updates were always off. I only had a virus issue once because I was small didn't know what I was doing at the time, but that was easily fixed by my brother.

Bottom line: Fuck Windows and all the drivers it broke that one time I decided to enable updates

P.S. I started using Linux a few years ago, and it's been pretty wonderful! I've used dozens of different distros, but I still can't get away from Windows because games, certain programs, and compatibility issues (like some drivers and devices not properly working in Linux), so oh well

System32. That goddamn p.o.s bloatware that Microsoft uses to slow your PC and blame it on viruses, getting you to buy their antivirus software. I removed mine, such clean, very speed, much easy.

Viruses are quine programs written for cells.

Background: Got a macbook, A external HDD(2TB) of which +- 1TB was used.

Yesterday i moved all my personal projects from my work laptop to my external, to move to my macbook.
One of my clients(Freelancing) calls asking me to install new hardware, install software and fix OS(Windows 8.1).
I leave work and go directly to said client and he hands over his Lenovo S20 Touch(No CD/DVD Drive).
I install windows 10 and other software from my flash(Already on there)

Good, Everything is ready to go. I go home and finally get to sit down with my baby(MacBook)

Me: *Plugs in external*
...
nothing.
Opens Finder, can't find flashdrive
Check MacKeeper
MacKeeper: VirusDetected
Me: *Pissed*

Client calls.
Client: Hey is everything ok with the laptop, no viruses no nothing. Because everytime i insert a flashdrive it gets a virus and i have to buy a new one.

Me: I installed windows 10 on it, it should be fine with defender now.

Heart: *shattered* YOU COULD'VE TOLD ME THAT BEFORE FUCKER!!

i never knew people like this still exist

trying to figure out why this folder is allowing restricted files formats to run, and finding nothing but 'It's a windows folder' what the hell internet DX my school runs windows and it's in that directory children aren't allowed to mess with, of course it's a damn windows folder, but how can I stop them from running viruses accidentally in that folder without causing windows to stop working

Back to god damn research

Thank you for your time

Viruses in Windows be like...

When I was a student, I'd have non tech studying friends ask me for help with their computers assuming I knew what was wrong with their hardware / how to get rid of their viruses without wiping everything out. I'd have to reject everyone like " it could be this or this, but go to X shop they should know how to fix it, this isn't my job or what my education is in". One time someone asked me about a Mac and it literally sounded they they got a virus from porn.. directed them to the Mac Guys. Friend keeps asking me more questions rather than just reaching out to the Mac Guys. like what search has you worried dude? lol

Can i build an android application which will scan all the android apps present in your phone for viruses? Please provide any links.. Please.. i am not getting a headstart :(

This is a PSA in case anybody thinks of installing BitTorrent. I used it for thirty seconds and cancelled the download. Things were noticeably slufggish afterward. I ran Malwarebytes and it identified 22 viruses, all associated with BitTorrent. Before quarantining the viruses I uninstalled BT. When I quarantined the viruses I got the blue screen of death. I was able to reinstall Windows. NEVER DOWNLOAD BITTORRENT.

the localhost guys must be pretty pumped going live. Like going to the galaxies from the earth. All the space adventure fighting the viruses, getting beaten by them. woooohoooo!

nostalgic. almost.

Hey gang,
I'm kind of interested in learning some hacking/virus basics. I wanted to try out some scripts but I'm kind da nervous. Can I run simple viruses on a VM without worrying about my laptop getting infected too? I would think so, but I wanna be sure.

Also, if you have any resources you can point me to, that would be great. Thanks!

hey peeps, 2 questions:

1. do you know about some kind of firewall/antivirus for pc that can just allow the user to accept/block an internet request , like no root firewall does for android.

I have been using that simple, beautiful piece of open source for last 2ish years. The way it sends a notification when an app tries to make an internet request(even in the background!) has helped me detect and remove so many viruses.

2. i am thinking of doing a factory reset on my windows. My laptop came loaded with win10 and office , and i don't have the keys for it( it shows a special partition having some backup of window i guess?). So i had a couple of thoughts:
- will my office get removed?[i don't want this]

- I created several other partitions( d,e,f,p) would they go back as a single C drive?[doesn't effect me as long as i can create them again]

- the languages and modules i installed via cmd(java/python/ruby/pip modules/git/etc), would they also get removed? [i really want that]

- i am probably thinking this won't happen, but is their a possibility that the recovery partition that my windows came with, would also get removed[ i don't want that]

All the viruses and ransomwares...

I still remember how Brontok.A was the hot topic when i was in school...