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Search - "matlab"
Sit down before you read this.
So I interviewed a guy for a "Support Engineer" internship position.
Me and the team lead sit down and are waiting for him to enter, but apparently he's actually making a coffee in the kitchen.
This isn't exactly a strike since the receptionist told him that he can go get a drink, and we did too. It's just always expected for him to get a glass of water, not waste 3 minutes brewing a coffee.
In any case he comes in, puts the coffee on the table, then his phone, then his wallet, then his keys and then sits on our side of the table.
I ask him to sit in front of us so we can see him. He takes a minute to pack and tranfer himself to the other side of the table. He again places all of the objects on the table.
We begin, team lead tells him about the company. Then I ask him whether he got any questions regarding the job, the team or the company . For the next 15 minutes he bombards us with mostly irrelevant and sometimes inappropriate questions, like:
0: Can I choose my own nickname when getting an email address?
1: Does the entire department get same salaries?
2: Are there yoga classes on Sundays only or every morning?
3: Will I get a car?
4: Does the firm support workspace equality? How many chicks are in the team?
5: I want the newest grey Mac.
And then.. Then the questions turn into demands:
6: I need a high salary (asks for 2.5 more than the job pays. Which is still a lot).
I ask him why would he get that at his first job in the industry (remind you, this is an internship and we are a relatively high paying company).
He says he's getting paid more at his current job.
His CV lists no current job and only indicates that he just finished studying.
He says that he's working at his parent's business...
Next he says that he is very talented and has to be promoted very quickly and that we need to teach him a lot and finance his courses.
At this point me and the team lead were barely holding our laughs.
The team lead asks him about his English (English is not our native language).
He replies "It's good, trust me".
Team lead invites him for an English conversation. Team lead acts like a customer with a broken internet and the guy is there to troubleshoot. (btw that's not job related, just a simple scenario)
TL: "Hello, my name is Andrew, I'm calli..."
Guy: *interrupts* "Yes, yes, hi! Hi! What do you want?"
TL: "Well, if you let me fi..."
Guy: "Ok! Talk!"
TL: "...inish... My internet is not working."
Guy: "Ok, *mimics tuning a V engine or cooking a soup* I fixed! *points at TL* now you say 'yes you fixed'".
Important to note that his English was horrible. Disregarding the accent he just genuinely does not know the language well.
Then he continiues with "See? Good English. Told you no need to check!".
After about half a minute of choking on out silent laughter I ask him how much Python experience he has (job lists a requirement of at least 1 year).
He replies "I'm very good at object oriented functional programming".
I ask again "But what is your experience? Did you ever take any courses? Do you have a git repository to show? Any side.."
*he interrupts again* "I only use Matlab!".
Team lead stands up and proceeds to shake his hand while saying "we will get back to you".
At last the guy says with a stupid smile on his face "You better hire me! Call me back tomorrow." Leaves TL hanging and walks away after packing his stuff into the pockets.
I was so shocked that I wasn't even angry.
We both laughed for the rest of the day though. It was probably the weirdest interview I took part at.40
> had an exam with a friend
> we both go to comp sci college
> had to write a fucked up algorithm in matlab
> he hates matlab
> he completes the task
> the variable that outputs the result is called holocaust
> he gets sent to dean
Guy: I don't understand how people could actually learn or work as programmers.. It's so boring.
Me: have you ever programmed before?
Me: what language?
I punched him in the face and kicked him in the balls. Actually just I thought about it. Maybe 3 hours later.17
Me to my friend into coding : Hey! I’m finally learning to code at university!
Friend : Nice! Never Forget array start at 0. Which language are you learning?
Friend : I don’t know you14
It's a pretty long rant. Hope you didn't get bored :P
So I have this friend of mine who has learnt Python at good level (that's what he says) and is with me in all classes in college. I have worked with C, C++, C# and Java only and hated Python when it was taught (wk44).
So the following happened in the last 2 weeks:
Once he wrote a Python function in terminal just returning a hard coded string (lame right) and will show me how cool is it and that it is sooo much easier.
Whenever we do a mini project together he will force that we use Python. Even in Image processing when everyone is ready to work on Matlab, he insists that Python would be a better option.
We asked that this XYZ is very easy to implement on Matlab.
We then had to listen about the large and great community of Python and that it has Libraries for everything and that it is the greatest programming language ever.
One day he saw my C# project for DFA and NFA simulation which was the greatest project I have "completed" myself, and went like "Hmph, if I was you, I would use python and make a more "professional" code" (then went on arguing as always)
This happened today in Networking lab-
(Sockets was taught and we are expected to learn its programming aspects)
All students: Open linuxhowtos.org and start reading on socket programming
He : Opens some websites and downloads books on Networking with Python or someting
Now while I am reading the documentation of sockets and bind, he opens spider IDE, copy-paste the code in the book and start bugging ME that he is getting all these errors like literally showing me those errors and whining about all those problems.
Me: We are supposed to learn this in C. Here take a look at this link.
HE: No I'll use Python cuz it is better than your C. It has libraries for everything and is much easier.
Me: Alright whatever I am fed up, do whatever you want12
Fuck MatLab. Fuck Mathworks. Why the fuck do I still have this fucking piece of shit on my computer? Even its logo makes me want to puke.
You are still virgin? Try MatLab, it will fuck you hard.
Give me one fucking engineer who has to use MatLab and love its nonsense, I dare you!39
When a customer asks you, why your C++-API is not working... He initializes the array at 1, because he "learned Matlab first" and "that's how arrays are supposed to be initialized" 🙄1
My prof suggested me to use matlab instead of Python for my project.
So I started learning and found out that in matlab ARRAYS START FROM 1.
I am going back to python10
Tools I enjoy working with:
Visual Studio Code
Tools I don't enjoy working with:
My first software teacher almost made me quit programming for life.
She spent the entire year not showing us how to make a shity app in visual basic. Zero help. We all hated it.
At the end of the year and she realised she had 'forgotten' to teach us 70% of the course. We all failed miserably! I didn't touch programming for almost 3 years. (unless you could MATLAB, which I don't).
That was when I discovered Mehran Sahami's CS106A course on the Stanford website. Honestly the best teacher I've never met! His passion is boundless and mastery of teaching is second to none. Thanks to him I discovered programming and I love it! Karol the robot should get a special mention too!
Good teachers make the world of difference.6
We currently have multiple exercises for a lecture and they decided to use python this year instead of Matlab, but the codestyle is all over the place. Everything is yellow in my IDE and warnings everywhere.
If I had a dollar every time a non software engineer used the word "just" in a sentence...
"Just" convert this Matlab code to C++
"Just" make it faster
"Just" have it done in a week8
A is for Assembly, a wizard's spell
B is for Bootstrap, so bland and the same. And also for Brainf*ck, will blow you away
C is for COBOL, your grandad knows that
D is for daemon, your server knows what
E is for Express.js, you node what is coming
F is for FORTRAN, which is perferct for sciencing
G is for GNU which is GNU not UNIX
H is for Haskell using functional units
I is for Intance, An action of Object
J is for Java plays with them Always
K is for Kotlin, Android's new toy
L is for Lisp, scheming a ploy
M is for Matlab, who knows how it works
N is for Node a bloatware of code
O is for Objective Pascal, you did not expect that
P is for programming, we all love to do that
Q is for Queries, A database is made
R is for R, statistics are great
S is for Selenium, you have to test that
S is for Smalltalk, let's make it all brief
T is for Turing Test, how human is this?
U is for Unix, build with all talents
V is for Visual Studio, built with all laments
W is for Web, lets build something cool
X is for XHTML, remember all that?
Y is for Y2K, I'm tired as f*ck
Z is for Zip, let's zip is all now.
Get yourself coffee and back to the grind.8
Some time ago I learned that my brother was taking a MATLAB class at University. I thought to myself "hey, why not try teaching him another language, like C#".
He learnt that shit faster than anyone I've ever tutored! Even the 3rd years at University had more problems than he did.
So fucking proud.4
"we gave you (the students) a choice if you want to learn data mining in matlab, java, python or c. most of you chose python. the results were horrible, so we decided to teach you in matlab instead"
ARE U FCKING KIDDING ME6
So this happened about a year ago. I was going bowling with some friends that day. My brother was invited, but he needed to finish a couple of programs for a MATLAB class.
So I drive my friends to the bowling place, then head to where my bro is saying. Once there my brother starts going over the program, he tells me what it's supposed to do and such. I follow along and I'm thinking "yup, this makes sense". That's when he tells me "The logic is fine, but look at what happens when I run it".
The program works fine...
We just stare at the screen, then at each other. "Your welcome" I tell him with a grin.3
MATLAB sucks so bad. Why my university professors keep forcing us using that crap instead of Python?!21
After i read about Arch Linux for the first time here about a few weeks ago, i thought i'd give Antergos a try on my Laptop which i use solely for working. Found out that Matlab is supported, so i don't even need a VM.
First time having a Linux distro. Still feels a bit odd for being a Win only user for a long time, but i love the look and with every hour it gets easier. :)47
I'd tend to say Matlab :
- you don't learn to write good code
- if you start by learning Matlab, you tend to be stuck in Matlab
- it's heavy and ugly and expensive
- arrays start at 18
I think Matlab was only invented to fuck with people. Yeah, let's start indices with 1. Oh, and set copy and paste on Ctrl+W and and Alt+Y.
You didn't save your code? Too bad, the network went down and I lost the license.3
Roommate: Filter it, would you please? (* Was talking about the tea*).
Me: Alright buddy, say no more. (*Names the signal that I was working on as "Tea".*)
(*Got the filtered output 😎*)4
Tldr: I just FAILED AN EXAM because of my uni's SHITTIEST SERVERS EVER. YEAR AFTER YEAR THE EXACT SAME SHIT HAPPENS, THEIR SERVERS OR NETWORK FAIL HARD AND STUDENTS FAIL EXAMS BECAUSE OF IT, AND THEY NEVER FIX IT.
In the middle of a 3h exam at uni, using Matlab through virtualdesktop, when suddenly it stops working entirely. Trying to restart it, no go. A few other people are having the same issue as well.
After 20 minutes of waiting, one IT tech shows up saying people in other labs are having the same issue, big problems.
Ended up wasting nearly an hour waiting for shit to work again - which it did, but only when the extra time they had given us ran out.
Desperately tried to salvage what I could of my exam, but I don't think I did enough to pass.
This is not the first time it happens. Exam after exam, shit like this keeps happening over and over again, and every time some students get fucked in the ass and have to take the exam again - the next semester.
This is supposed to be one of the top universities in the country, and top 20 engineering schools in the world.
FUCK THIS SHIT7
What you are expected to learn in 3 years:
digital signal processing,
signal and control system,
NLP, data algorithm,
Java, C++, Python,
ASP.NET web development,
computer security ,
Android app development,
IOS app development,
3D game development,
introduction to DevOps,
how-to -fix- computer,
Project of being entrepreneur,
and 24 random unrelated subjects of your choices
This is a major called "computer engineering"4
So I found this consulting job a while ago thinking that some extra cash while studying would be nice to have.
I meet with the guy, a researcher trying to start a business up, good for him I think, maybe we'll hit it off, continue working, why not? Except he has no clue how to write working code, all he ever did was writing matlab scripts he says, thats why he hired me he says.
Okay, fine, you do your job I do mine.
He hands me the contract, its about comparing two libraries, finding out which one is better suited for his job, cool, plots and graphs everywhere.
Except this is an unpaid job. YOU WHAT?! It's a test job. FINE. At least it'll look good on my resume.
We talk about the paid part where I'm supposed to scale the two libraries, looks good, as expected from an ML engineering perspective. It comes to payment. The dude has no idea how taxes work, says he has a set amount to pay and not a penny more. I explain with examples how taxes are paid, how you get reimbursed for them and so on. Won't budge. Screws me over.
Opens the door for other jobs I think, he'll learn next time I think and take the job.
Fast forward a month, 90% of the job done, he adds a third thing to compare. Gives a github link to a repo with 2 authors, last commit a year ago. There are links to a 404, claiming compiled jars. Fuck.
Not my first rodeo, git clone that shit, make compile, the works. The thing uses libs that ain't in no repo, that would be too easy. Run, error, find lib, remake all the things, rinse repeat.
The scripts they got have hardcoded paths and filenames for 2 year old binaries, remake that shit.
It works, at least I get a prompt now. Try the example files they got, no luck, some missing unlinked binary somewhere, but not a name mentioned. Cross reference the shit outta the libs mentioned on readme, find the missing shit, down it.
Available versions are too new, THE MOLDING NUTCRACKER uses some bug in an old version of the lib.
I give up. Fuck this. This ain't worth the money OR time. Wanker...
What tf is matlab
I got a job for the summer, and I had to learn it by myself
Is it really a pain in the ass or is it just complicated to learn ?20
I have a coder friend...
Here's a translated conversation. (read original one followed)
She: Watcha doin?
She: Means what are you making?
Me: A fool.
She: Kya kar rahe ho?
She: Matlab kya bana rahe ho?
Me: Chutiya :/8
Finalising my Master's thesis just before the deadline was an all nighter in which I coded a lot.
Back then it was all Matlab!
I recently discovered, that Python is much better tool for scientific calculations then MATLAB. If only I had figured this earlier, my studies could be so much easier...2
I had my presentation early morning, it was 3am, and I was still up because the code was not compiling. Then showed up my roommate who had gone for party. Can't believe that he was the one, in the half drunk state, was able to find just a short typo,but not ME, EVEN THOUGH I HAD 3 CUPS OF COFFEE the same night. Lesson learned. Patience is a virtue. Blessed to have a nice roommate. :)
PS. It was a Matlab code for filtering the mentioned portion of an ECG Signal, and analysing the problem faced by the patient. Well, I was pretty sure to get arrhythmia if I couldn't complete the code by morning.
Took a class on neural nets once upon a time and all the prerequisites had been taught in C/C++ but the professor insisted on teaching in Matlab because they didn't know C/C++.8
Was feeling low started sifting through gallery and found this picture i snapped a year ago.. now i can't smiling. The algorithm i wrote was so shitty that it was using 4gb of RAM.
Never thought an error can make me happy
I started to learn Matlab today. After I learnt that arrays starting with 1 in the Matlab, I started to think about why using 0 based arrays was made popular in the first place and I realized that C arrays actually just pointers and first element of the array is just a location pointed by array name. There is no need to add number to reach to the first element. After googling it, I saw that my assumption is true. Finding it all myself made me a little bit of proud 😀😀😀 Also, this expanded my horizon 🗻🗻🗻2
During my first semester of CS we were mostly using MatLab for basal scripting - assigning variables, learning about scope, that type of thing. I was excited to start learning programming but wanted to actually make something rather than reversing arrays and incrementing counters for weeks.
I discovered the image() function which takes a float matrix and displays it as an image. I generated my arrays of random numbers and made a simple nested loop where I iterated over each element, averaging it with its neighbours, and - it worked on the first run! I made a freaking noise and blur filter!
That rush of planning it out, making it, and seeing it work I think is my main drive in coding. All the hours of undefined-but-they-are-tho import paths and mystery segfaults are worth it once there is that moment of "it lives!".
People completing Stanford + Andrew Ng's course and bragging how they know machine learning in and out while having no idea how to code simplest application using the simplest libraries.3
When you do your job without knowing you did. Now I just use this instead of looking for the function which is compatible.4
I just got called an expert for using Linux 😂 I'm taking this computer research in Psychology module (Matlab), and I was the only one using Linux.
Recently my company has bought a patented product from the IIT, Kharagpur, India (those who are not from India just Google this name. It's one of the most esteemed engineering colleges in India). I can not provide the details of the product, but let's talk about the technology stack they used.
The software module of this product was built using VB 6 (yes, you read that right) and MATLAB 6.0 (released in 2000), and used MS Access for database. Remember, the product was built in 2015 and patented in 2016 or 17. The people who built the software were mostly final year B.Tech CS (equivalent to B.S.) students and one IIT professor.
This shows what we need to change in the CS education. Do I need to say more?1
People who mix different naming conventions are the worst. My MATLAB teacher mixes PascalCase, camelCase, snake_case and weird hybrids like everythingIs_SoWrongWith_this 😠1
Father bought a computer for the family in 2011. A HCl Dual Core Pentium 4 machine with 21" TFT screen. I was allowed to use it only under someone's presence for at-most 20 minutes each day for the next 6-9 months.
After that we got a network card (plug-and-play internet dongle) for the internet services. That's when I entered the world of internet and made a Facebook account. I was 12 then ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
After two years or so, we're playing games on it, watching movies and using MS Word for school related stuff. Then my brother entered college, and used it for stuff like coding and image processing on Matlab, while I watched him doing so and getting yelled at for doing what I liked to do, at the same time.
After 5 years or so, I got a personal laptop with decent configuration for college work. The old computer still worked like charm.
Now, the old monk is at rest with old memories, unknown files and lot of bollywood songs.1
Why is Matlab so slow?! D:
It only performs well on vectorized solutions, well fuck you can't vectorize every problem out there... This is painful! The syntax sucks, too. Just fuck Matlab.5
Helped my electronics teacher with a basic MATLAB code in beginning of the semester, she awarded extra 2 marks at the end to acknowledge it.
All I did was google the error and apply fix according to first link.😂😂1
Fuck you MATLAB and your shitty inefficient for loops. Now I have to rewrite most of my code to use matrices instead of structures cause you take so long. Fuck you and your stupid ability to scale my neural network.....who needed sleep anyway6
I hate Matlab.
It's full of propriety nonsense.
It's costs money, which automatically makes it the worst thing to ever mar the beautiful face of the programming world.
Just so you know where I'm coming from, I own a 1980 Fiat X1/9. Needless to say I like to be under the hood and need to feel connected to what I'm working with.
The feeling I get when I want to pop the hood and maybe optimize something only to remember that this is a corrupt proprietary money machine built on the dry bones and scattered dreams of CS students whose sheltered coding experience won't give them a chance in the real world-- is a feeling I can not tolerate.
While working on our matlab project, my laptop just suddenly stop responding. Even the task manager isn't responding! Everything is fucked up and the file hasn't been saved yet. Then a friend of mine started saying that Mac is better than windows and im like:
"Bitch pls linux is the best"
I won't spend a lot of money to buy a macbook. I'd rather spend money buying a better laptop with great specs and dualboot Linux alongside Windows.5
Does anyone out here work with MATLAB and/or Latex? Because I started learning both for school and I have to say that I really like them!4
Last year in uni:
Module 1: Build two projects in a team using java
Module 3: build a website using python
Module 4: Rasperry PI with Matlab
*** I have to study C++ for the job I will be working at after uni..
I really want to specialise in C++ and finally get proficient in it, but hell no my curriculum requires me to know how to do the same exact thinf with 75668888765 languages... fs
It's getting on my nerve to constantly change from one programming language to another in one semester. We are learning web development (html css js), functional programming (haskell), speech analysis (matlab) and logical programming (prolog). It's driving me kinda mad having to change the approach for each assignment every few days.4
Have to learn the Matlab language for school. It's proprietary, you have to pay for it, and arrays are not even 0 indexed!3
Has anyone else ever used Matlab and wished other languages had a similar setup? The coding window, repl, variables window and the debugger, all of which are constantly connected?6
That moment your professor tasks you with writing a genetic algorithm and are forced to use MatLab (which I don't use).
"The University offers MatLab through ssh, so no problems, right?" Only basic package installed...
As cherry on the pie I found out that it's nowhere close to intuitive for me.
Got the feeling I could've done it way faster in the programs I'm used to, but finally got it working!
This semester in college we're supposed to learn some machine learning using mostly Matlab. The first laboratories (technically the second, but the first we actually do something) we're learning basics of Matlab.
We were given an instruction PDF that talks about assigning variables, creating functions and classes, and some basic operators.
A the end of the instruction are exercises, but the thing is, they require knowledge of a lot of Matlab functions, like linspace, reshape, random numbers, vectors and matrices, but it does not tell anywhere about then or how to use them.
An example: exercise 4 tells us to read docs about 'ezplot' and plot sin^2(x).
Then, exercise 5 tells us to generate a 100 element linear space for -2pi to 2pi, calculate the sigmoid value of each point and plot it.
The professor looked personally offended that we had no idea what a sigmoid is and that we were all struggling to calculate it. He almost shouted at us for trying to use ezplot (which we assumed is what we're supposed to use based on exercise 4) instead of regular plot do visualize it.
I fucking hate this kind of professors.
Also, the real fuckfest is in the last exercise. I'll try to translate it to English as close as I can:
Create a 100 element vector of random positive integers and then save it as a matrix with the amount of rows equal to the amount of unique values in the vector and 100 columns and then for each element of the original vector encode it's value in the form of 1 in the field whose index equals the value of that element increased by one.
Yes it's all in one sentence, and no, nowhere in the instruction does it say how to do any of that.
Also, we have a test about all of that tommorow and I don't think anyone will pass it2
So, right now I'm having to study the code of an old pretty complex Delphi calculation tool so I can migrate it to Matlab. There is no actual documentation.
The person who knows the tool best and only one left to have even seen the code is not supposed to know what I'm doing.
I'm supposed to talk him into giving me a quick (1h) walkthrough of the code without actually telling him why, or figure it out all by myself.
He feels too strongly about Delphi.
I kinda don't feel this ...2
Fucking Matlab ><'
I can't get the fucking thing running on my Linux install. Took me 3hrs to install it, and now the fucking fonts won't show
i3 and Matlab do NOT go well together...
So I'm working on a project with my professor, I ran into problem and don't know how to solve it.. everytime a spreadsheet is saved it should ask for two step verfication. Doing so while testing in matlab was easy. Now I can't implement it on system level..Since we're using Linux i thought i would be good idea to change the kernal files which handle copying and pasting or replacing... Any idea (I'm not a hardcore linux user) any input will be much appreciated2
Been doing some MATLAB art for my dissertation, going to slowly increase the complexity hopefully for some more interesting results!
In high school, studied 3 years of Pascal, then went to Engineering Uni and became a master Matlab/Simulink Jedi
Had my first lab for software development today, something I was looking forward to as a non CS student.
The class is using MATLAB/Simulink to generate code for us because it is important to learn "model based design"1
Whenever I laugh about these engineers who can only 'code' in Matlab...
Whenever I hear people consider configuring (of stuff like WordPress or RGB-Keyboard-Lights etc.) as 'programming'...
I wonder, if I'm just like the 'Real Programmers' back in 1983 who truly considered Fortran or Assembly to be much more superior than Pascal and someone who coded in the latter or even used a simple OS like UNIX couldn't get accepted as a programmer.
Found that old article about "Real Programmers".
It's worth a read.
Just consider someone writing modern computer programs without libraries, ifs, for loops and only gotos by hand from top to bottom...
Some day I want to start some modern project everyone else would do in some random modern scripting language and hack it down in assembly just for fun and to tell people, I did it. So I could call myself a Real Programmer too.2
Can I install MATLAB for free even after completion of the course i.e 12 weeks?If yes please tell me how.
So tomorrow I'm gonna tackle my last exam for my MSc presenting the "group project" aka I did it myself (tfw ur mates can't even matlab at least) thingie and sustain the most brutal oral examination in the whole 5 years on organic industrial chemistry.
Wish me luck.