Sit down before you read this.

So I interviewed a guy for a "Support Engineer" internship position.

Me and the team lead sit down and are waiting for him to enter, but apparently he's actually making a coffee in the kitchen.

This isn't exactly a strike since the receptionist told him that he can go get a drink, and we did too. It's just always expected for him to get a glass of water, not waste 3 minutes brewing a coffee.

In any case he comes in, puts the coffee on the table, then his phone, then his wallet, then his keys and then sits on our side of the table.
I ask him to sit in front of us so we can see him. He takes a minute to pack and tranfer himself to the other side of the table. He again places all of the objects on the table.

We begin, team lead tells him about the company. Then I ask him whether he got any questions regarding the job, the team or the company . For the next 15 minutes he bombards us with mostly irrelevant and sometimes inappropriate questions, like:
0: Can I choose my own nickname when getting an email address?
1: Does the entire department get same salaries?
2: Are there yoga classes on Sundays only or every morning?
3: Will I get a car?
4: Does the firm support workspace equality? How many chicks are in the team?
5: I want the newest grey Mac.

And then.. Then the questions turn into demands:
6: I need a high salary (asks for 2.5 more than the job pays. Which is still a lot).
I ask him why would he get that at his first job in the industry (remind you, this is an internship and we are a relatively high paying company).
He says he's getting paid more at his current job.
His CV lists no current job and only indicates that he just finished studying.
He says that he's working at his parent's business...
Next he says that he is very talented and has to be promoted very quickly and that we need to teach him a lot and finance his courses.

At this point me and the team lead were barely holding our laughs.

The team lead asks him about his English (English is not our native language).
He replies "It's good, trust me".
Team lead invites him for an English conversation. Team lead acts like a customer with a broken internet and the guy is there to troubleshoot. (btw that's not job related, just a simple scenario)
TL: "Hello, my name is Andrew, I'm calli..."
Guy: *interrupts* "Yes, yes, hi! Hi! What do you want?"
TL: "Well, if you let me fi..."
Guy: "Ok! Talk!"
TL: "...inish... My internet is not working."
Guy: "Ok, *mimics tuning a V engine or cooking a soup* I fixed! *points at TL* now you say 'yes you fixed'".

Important to note that his English was horrible. Disregarding the accent he just genuinely does not know the language well.

Then he continiues with "See? Good English. Told you no need to check!".

After about half a minute of choking on out silent laughter I ask him how much Python experience he has (job lists a requirement of at least 1 year).
He replies "I'm very good at object oriented functional programming".
I ask again "But what is your experience? Did you ever take any courses? Do you have a git repository to show? Any side.."
*he interrupts again* "I only use Matlab!".

Team lead stands up and proceeds to shake his hand while saying "we will get back to you".

At last the guy says with a stupid smile on his face "You better hire me! Call me back tomorrow." Leaves TL hanging and walks away after packing his stuff into the pockets.

I was so shocked that I wasn't even angry.
We both laughed for the rest of the day though. It was probably the weirdest interview I took part at.

> had an exam with a friend

> we both go to comp sci college

> had to write a fucked up algorithm in matlab

> he hates matlab

> he completes the task

> the variable that outputs the result is called holocaust

> he gets sent to dean

> expelled

Been there, done that.

Guy: I don't understand how people could actually learn or work as programmers.. It's so boring.

Me: have you ever programmed before?

Guy: yes

Me: what language?

Guy: matlab

I punched him in the face and kicked him in the balls. Actually just I thought about it. Maybe 3 hours later.

Me to my friend into coding : Hey! I’m finally learning to code at university!
Friend : Nice! Never Forget array start at 0. Which language are you learning?
Me: Matlab
Friend : I don’t know you

/*
It's a pretty long rant. Hope you didn't get bored :P
*/
So I have this friend of mine who has learnt Python at good level (that's what he says) and is with me in all classes in college. I have worked with C, C++, C# and Java only and hated Python when it was taught (wk44).
So the following happened in the last 2 weeks:
Once he wrote a Python function in terminal just returning a hard coded string (lame right) and will show me how cool is it and that it is sooo much easier.
Whenever we do a mini project together he will force that we use Python. Even in Image processing when everyone is ready to work on Matlab, he insists that Python would be a better option.
We asked that this XYZ is very easy to implement on Matlab.
We then had to listen about the large and great community of Python and that it has Libraries for everything and that it is the greatest programming language ever.
One day he saw my C# project for DFA and NFA simulation which was the greatest project I have "completed" myself, and went like "Hmph, if I was you, I would use python and make a more "professional" code" (then went on arguing as always)
This happened today in Networking lab-
(Sockets was taught and we are expected to learn its programming aspects)
All students: Open linuxhowtos.org and start reading on socket programming
He : Opens some websites and downloads books on Networking with Python or someting
Now while I am reading the documentation of sockets and bind, he opens spider IDE, copy-paste the code in the book and start bugging ME that he is getting all these errors like literally showing me those errors and whining about all those problems.
Me: We are supposed to learn this in C. Here take a look at this link.
HE: No I'll use Python cuz it is better than your C. It has libraries for everything and is much easier.
Me: Alright whatever I am fed up, do whatever you want

Fuck MatLab. Fuck Mathworks. Why the fuck do I still have this fucking piece of shit on my computer? Even its logo makes me want to puke.

You think JavaScript is bad? Try MatLab, JavaScript will look like a saint.

You are still virgin? Try MatLab, it will fuck you hard.

Give me one fucking engineer who has to use MatLab and love its nonsense, I dare you!

When a customer asks you, why your C++-API is not working... He initializes the array at 1, because he "learned Matlab first" and "that's how arrays are supposed to be initialized" 🙄

My prof suggested me to use matlab instead of Python for my project.

So I started learning and found out that in matlab ARRAYS START FROM 1.

Wtf!

I am going back to python

Interview (first job):

Interviewer: So what languages do you know?

Me: Well, i learnd C, C++ and Matlab scripting, but i'm learning C# as a personal project.

Interviewer: Perfect!

First day:

Interviewer(now boss): So, a guy is leaving next week and you will be replacing him. He has 70 projects and you will be responsible for this production test platform in JAVA

My first software teacher almost made me quit programming for life.

She spent the entire year not showing us how to make a shity app in visual basic. Zero help. We all hated it.

At the end of the year and she realised she had 'forgotten' to teach us 70% of the course. We all failed miserably! I didn't touch programming for almost 3 years. (unless you could MATLAB, which I don't).

That was when I discovered Mehran Sahami's CS106A course on the Stanford website. Honestly the best teacher I've never met! His passion is boundless and mastery of teaching is second to none. Thanks to him I discovered programming and I love it! Karol the robot should get a special mention too!

Good teachers make the world of difference.

A is for Assembly, a wizard's spell

B is for Bootstrap, so bland and the same. And also for Brainf*ck, will blow you away

C is for COBOL, your grandad knows that

D is for daemon, your server knows what

E is for Express.js, you node what is coming

F is for FORTRAN, which is perferct for sciencing

G is for GNU which is GNU not UNIX

H is for Haskell using functional units

I is for Intance, An action of Object

J is for Java plays with them Always

K is for Kotlin, Android's new toy

L is for Lisp, scheming a ploy

M is for Matlab, who knows how it works

N is for Node a bloatware of code

O is for Objective Pascal, you did not expect that

P is for programming, we all love to do that

Q is for Queries, A database is made

R is for R, statistics are great

S is for Selenium, you have to test that

S is for Smalltalk, let's make it all brief

T is for Turing Test, how human is this?

U is for Unix, build with all talents

V is for Visual Studio, built with all laments

W is for Web, lets build something cool

X is for XHTML, remember all that?

Y is for Y2K, I'm tired as f*ck

Z is for Zip, let's zip is all now.

Get yourself coffee and back to the grind.

If I had a dollar every time a non software engineer used the word "just" in a sentence...

"Just" convert this Matlab code to C++

"Just" make it faster

"Just" have it done in a week

We currently have multiple exercises for a lecture and they decided to use python this year instead of Matlab, but the codestyle is all over the place. Everything is yellow in my IDE and warnings everywhere.

Arghhh 😭

MATLAB Users,
Fuck you, array starts from 0

Some time ago I learned that my brother was taking a MATLAB class at University. I thought to myself​ "hey, why not try teaching him another language, like C#".

He learnt that shit faster than anyone I've ever tutored! Even the 3rd years at University had more problems than he did.

So fucking proud.

Fuck you Matlab...

So this happened about a year ago. I was going bowling with some friends that day. My brother was invited, but he needed to finish a couple of programs for a MATLAB class.

So I drive my friends to the bowling place, then head to where my bro is saying. Once there my brother starts going over the program, he tells me what it's supposed to do and such. I follow along and I'm thinking "yup, this makes sense". That's when he tells me "The logic is fine, but look at what happens when I run it".

The program works fine...

We just stare at the screen, then at each other. "Your welcome" I tell him with a grin.

"we gave you (the students) a choice if you want to learn data mining in matlab, java, python or c. most of you chose python. the results were horrible, so we decided to teach you in matlab instead"
- professor

ARE U FCKING KIDDING ME

MATLAB sucks so bad. Why my university professors keep forcing us using that crap instead of Python?!

Throwback to my first assignment in MATLAB.
Still gives me the heebie-jeebies!

Fuck matlab, i could do this shit in java in half the time.

I think Matlab was only invented to fuck with people. Yeah, let's start indices with 1. Oh, and set copy and paste on Ctrl+W and and Alt+Y.
You didn't save your code? Too bad, the network went down and I lost the license.

*finishes MATLAB course*
My blanket when I wake up and think about my expired license which I won't renew:

I'd tend to say Matlab :
- you don't learn to write good code
- if you start by learning Matlab, you tend to be stuck in Matlab
- it's heavy and ugly and expensive
- arrays start at 1

When someone says they love programming, but they only know MATLAB.

After i read about Arch Linux for the first time here about a few weeks ago, i thought i'd give Antergos a try on my Laptop which i use solely for working. Found out that Matlab is supported, so i don't even need a VM.

First time having a Linux distro. Still feels a bit odd for being a Win only user for a long time, but i love the look and with every hour it gets easier. :)

This is for you MatLab users.

Roommate: Filter it, would you please? (* Was talking about the tea*).

Me: Alright buddy, say no more. (*Names the signal that I was working on as "Tea".*)

(*Got the filtered output 😎*)

Found out other team's project result about performance for uni assignment. It's that Matlab is the fastest, followed by python and C++ is the slowest.

They are gonna get roasted during presentation (by many people in the audience including me).
This is gonna be fun.
/*devilish grin*/

"We have this Fortran code that should be translated in that Matlab software, is there a system or a compiler to do that?"
"Yes, that is called a Programmer"

They named their son "Matlab"

Guy: why did you install Matlab?
Me:

Tldr: I just FAILED AN EXAM because of my uni's SHITTIEST SERVERS EVER. YEAR AFTER YEAR THE EXACT SAME SHIT HAPPENS, THEIR SERVERS OR NETWORK FAIL HARD AND STUDENTS FAIL EXAMS BECAUSE OF IT, AND THEY NEVER FIX IT.
FUCK

In the middle of a 3h exam at uni, using Matlab through virtualdesktop, when suddenly it stops working entirely. Trying to restart it, no go. A few other people are having the same issue as well.
After 20 minutes of waiting, one IT tech shows up saying people in other labs are having the same issue, big problems.
Ended up wasting nearly an hour waiting for shit to work again - which it did, but only when the extra time they had given us ran out.
Desperately tried to salvage what I could of my exam, but I don't think I did enough to pass.

This is not the first time it happens. Exam after exam, shit like this keeps happening over and over again, and every time some students get fucked in the ass and have to take the exam again - the next semester.

This is supposed to be one of the top universities in the country, and top 20 engineering schools in the world.
FUCK THIS SHIT

MathWorks:

PlEasE dOWnLoAd thE neWsT mATlAB

Me:

Fuck off!

So I found this consulting job a while ago thinking that some extra cash while studying would be nice to have.

I meet with the guy, a researcher trying to start a business up, good for him I think, maybe we'll hit it off, continue working, why not? Except he has no clue how to write working code, all he ever did was writing matlab scripts he says, thats why he hired me he says.
Okay, fine, you do your job I do mine.

He hands me the contract, its about comparing two libraries, finding out which one is better suited for his job, cool, plots and graphs everywhere.

Except this is an unpaid job. YOU WHAT?! It's a test job. FINE. At least it'll look good on my resume.

We talk about the paid part where I'm supposed to scale the two libraries, looks good, as expected from an ML engineering perspective. It comes to payment. The dude has no idea how taxes work, says he has a set amount to pay and not a penny more. I explain with examples how taxes are paid, how you get reimbursed for them and so on. Won't budge. Screws me over.

Opens the door for other jobs I think, he'll learn next time I think and take the job.

Fast forward a month, 90% of the job done, he adds a third thing to compare. Gives a github link to a repo with 2 authors, last commit a year ago. There are links to a 404, claiming compiled jars. Fuck.

Not my first rodeo, git clone that shit, make compile, the works. The thing uses libs that ain't in no repo, that would be too easy. Run, error, find lib, remake all the things, rinse repeat.

The scripts they got have hardcoded paths and filenames for 2 year old binaries, remake that shit.

It works, at least I get a prompt now. Try the example files they got, no luck, some missing unlinked binary somewhere, but not a name mentioned. Cross reference the shit outta the libs mentioned on readme, find the missing shit, down it.

Available versions are too new, THE MOLDING NUTCRACKER uses some bug in an old version of the lib.

I give up. Fuck this. This ain't worth the money OR time. Wanker...

What you are expected to learn in 3 years:

power electronics,
analogue signal,
digital signal processing,
VDHL development,
VLSI debelopment,
antenna design,
optical communication,
networking,
digital storage,
electromagnetic,
ARM ISA,
x86 ISA,
signal and control system,
robotics,
computer vision,
NLP, data algorithm,
Java, C++, Python,
javascript frameworks,
ASP.NET web development,
cloud computing,
computer security ,
Information coding,
ethical hacking,
statistics,
machine learning,
data mining,
data analysis,
cloud computing,
Matlab,
Android app development,
IOS app development,
Computer architecture,
Computer network,
discrete structure,
3D game development,
operating system,
introduction to DevOps,
how-to -fix- computer,
system administration,
Project of being entrepreneur,

and 24 random unrelated subjects of your choices

This is a major called "computer engineering"

Fuck you MATLAB. Just fuck you. Go die in a fire

I usually use cumsum

Shit happens !!!🔥🔥🔥

I hate MATLAB. Python still the best.

Damn you Matlab why don't you have i++ operator and ternary operator >:(

Matlab, emulating the universe :)

What tf is matlab
I got a job for the summer, and I had to learn it by myself
Is it really a pain in the ass or is it just complicated to learn ?

I have a coder friend...
Here's a translated conversation. (read original one followed)
She: Watcha doin?
Me: Foolishness.
She: Means what are you making?
Me: A fool.

Original--
She: Kya kar rahe ho?
Me: Chutiyapa
She: Matlab kya bana rahe ho?
Me: Chutiya :/

Write it in Matlab

I recently discovered, that Python is much better tool for scientific calculations then MATLAB. If only I had figured this earlier, my studies could be so much easier...

Finalising my Master's thesis just before the deadline was an all nighter in which I coded a lot.

Back then it was all Matlab!

Matlab/octave helps in visualising data very efficiently

People who think MATLAB is worth my time are not worth my time.

I had my presentation early morning, it was 3am, and I was still up because the code was not compiling. Then showed up my roommate who had gone for party. Can't believe that he was the one, in the half drunk state, was able to find just a short typo,but not ME, EVEN THOUGH I HAD 3 CUPS OF COFFEE the same night. Lesson learned. Patience is a virtue. Blessed to have a nice roommate. :)
PS. It was a Matlab code for filtering the mentioned portion of an ECG Signal, and analysing the problem faced by the patient. Well, I was pretty sure to get arrhythmia if I couldn't complete the code by morning.

I am learning Machine Learning via Matlab ML Onramp.

It seems to me that ML is;
1. (%80) preprocessing the ugly data so you can process data.
2. (%20) Creating models via algorithms you memorize from somewhere else, that has accuracy of %20 aswell.
3. (%100) Flaunting around like ML is second coming of Jesus and you are the harbinger of a new era.

During my first semester of CS we were mostly using MatLab for basal scripting - assigning variables, learning about scope, that type of thing. I was excited to start learning programming but wanted to actually make something rather than reversing arrays and incrementing counters for weeks.

I discovered the image() function which takes a float[][] matrix and displays it as an image. I generated my arrays of random numbers and made a simple nested loop where I iterated over each element, averaging it with its neighbours, and - it worked on the first run! I made a freaking noise and blur filter!

That rush of planning it out, making it, and seeing it work I think is my main drive in coding. All the hours of undefined-but-they-are-tho import paths and mystery segfaults are worth it once there is that moment of "it lives!".

My first time doing a pair-programming for uni assignment.
My partner is actually smart (a Mechanical Engineering guy), except when it comes to programming :
1. Don't know how to spell FALSE
2. Don't know how to create array in Matlab
3. Poor variable naming
4. Redundant code everywhere
5. Not using tabs
6. Stealing my idea and spit it again in my face after claiming it as his idea
7. Mansplaining every line of his code like I am a stupid person who never sees a computer before.

He said he has an experience in Matlab, wants to specialize in Robotics and taking several ML classes. What did they teach anyway in class to produce a shitty programmer like him?

Thankfully despite his being an arrogant shitty guy, he still manage to get our code to works.
That's good because if not, then I will happily push his head under water while slowly watching him drown.

🤨

Took a class on neural nets once upon a time and all the prerequisites had been taught in C/C++ but the professor insisted on teaching in Matlab because they didn't know C/C++.

In Matlab, arrays really do start at 1!!!

! rant
I started to learn Matlab today. After I learnt that arrays starting with 1 in the Matlab, I started to think about why using 0 based arrays was made popular in the first place and I realized that C arrays actually just pointers and first element of the array is just a location pointed by array name. There is no need to add number to reach to the first element. After googling it, I saw that my assumption is true. Finding it all myself made me a little bit of proud 😀😀😀 Also, this expanded my horizon 🗻🗻🗻

People who mix different naming conventions are the worst. My MATLAB teacher mixes PascalCase, camelCase, snake_case and weird hybrids like everythingIs_SoWrongWith_this 😠

Recently my company has bought a patented product from the IIT, Kharagpur, India (those who are not from India just Google this name. It's one of the most esteemed engineering colleges in India). I can not provide the details of the product, but let's talk about the technology stack they used.

The software module of this product was built using VB 6 (yes, you read that right) and MATLAB 6.0 (released in 2000), and used MS Access for database. Remember, the product was built in 2015 and patented in 2016 or 17. The people who built the software were mostly final year B.Tech CS (equivalent to B.S.) students and one IIT professor.

This shows what we need to change in the CS education. Do I need to say more?

I just got called an expert for using Linux 😂 I'm taking this computer research in Psychology module (Matlab), and I was the only one using Linux.

Father bought a computer for the family in 2011. A HCl Dual Core Pentium 4 machine with 21" TFT screen. I was allowed to use it only under someone's presence for at-most 20 minutes each day for the next 6-9 months.

After that we got a network card (plug-and-play internet dongle) for the internet services. That's when I entered the world of internet and made a Facebook account. I was 12 then ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

After two years or so, we're playing games on it, watching movies and using MS Word for school related stuff. Then my brother entered college, and used it for stuff like coding and image processing on Matlab, while I watched him doing so and getting yelled at for doing what I liked to do, at the same time.

After 5 years or so, I got a personal laptop with decent configuration for college work. The old computer still worked like charm.

Now, the old monk is at rest with old memories, unknown files and lot of bollywood songs.

When you do your job without knowing you did. Now I just use this instead of looking for the function which is compatible.

I have to convert a very complex algorithm form matlab to C , and push to prod in next 7 days 😭
[FYI can’t use matlab to c coverter]

Helped my electronics teacher with a basic MATLAB code in beginning of the semester, she awarded extra 2 marks at the end to acknowledge it.

All I did was google the error and apply fix according to first link.😂😂

People completing Stanford + Andrew Ng's course and bragging how they know machine learning in and out while having no idea how to code simplest application using the simplest libraries.

Was feeling low started sifting through gallery and found this picture i snapped a year ago.. now i can't smiling. The algorithm i wrote was so shitty that it was using 4gb of RAM.
Never thought an error can make me happy

How to crop one one word this picture in mathlab. Help me pls. I am doing OCR.

Does anyone out here work with MATLAB and/or Latex? Because I started learning both for school and I have to say that I really like them!

You ever had a boss that made you feel like his bitch but he never really earned the title
You also know from a technical skill perspective you’re more competent.

And the only job he seems to do is micromanaging you. He just puts things under a microscope looking for a flaw. He always finds a flaw so in the off chance it breaks he’s always in the clear.

He’s the guy who sticks with the programs the he was taught when he was still at school and never really tried something new out of the box. He gives the reasons the he wasn’t formally trained in the other programs . I’m not talking cinema 4 here. I’m talking Matlab preference over python. Using lab-view as a production level development platform instead of going to something more approved by the industry.

He doesn’t take risk but he pushes those risks on you so if you fail he can say it wasn’t him

He’s never wrong but he’s never right either.

You’re sitting there doing the cunt work and breaking the sweat and he passes the achievements as under his management. You never really get the credit because “he guided you “. You go through hell fixing bugs and he disappears. He says he’s always a call away when what you really needed is someone taking the heavy tasks not throwing the entire project on your back.

I never call that piece of shit bcz he just throws some other bullshit that doesn’t make sense and emphasizes that might be the problem.

I once had a problem with the com port on a pc and was trying to figure out the problem. I asked him and he said that it might be bcz I’m connecting to the PC via VNC. I was like what the hell. What does that have to do with anything. I just ended up restarting the port and it bloody worked.

The saddest part is that I’m scared is that I might end up like him. In the same dead end job. Even though he guides me we work in a place where the job title doesn’t really change. Funny thing is that officially I have the same job title as him .

He’s been in the place for 5years when I came. Can someone imagine that? To work and work and then to be seized up with another brat who’s the same as you title wise.

You’re close the age of 40 and you work in a place where a 20 something year old walks in with the same Position as you.

I worry that I might end up the same if I stay long enough. That I’ll learn everything I can learn and just stop progressing and the only thing I can do is say how shit can break but wouldn’t know how to fix .

Pointing out problems because they are easier than fixing. Just plomonting into existential nihilism with no purpose.

I once told him I wanted to quit. He pretended he didn’t hear it. He then then said what do you see in this job in 5 years
I told him me not in it.
He said “seriously what do you want in this place “
I said “if I’m still her in 5 years I’ll be missing a toe because I would have shit myself in the foot”

I now realize that by convincing me to stay he might have convinced himself that staying for that long wasn’t a bad idea. He was looking for justification that he’s decision wasn’t that bad at all.

You give your life to a job and at the end it takes one away.

I don’t want to be like that and I think that’s what bugs me the most. That I’m so close to this individual that I feel sooner or later if I’m not careful I’ll end up in the same place. The same dread

It's amazing how companies like Autodesk and Adobe see Linux as some "toy". When we talk about Linux we are talking about a professional workstation. My entire company uses Linux (currently Fedora 39) on its workstations, and all of our servers use FreeBSD. Not because it's free, but because it proves to be better than the alternatives to what we produce. We pay for licenses for JetBrains, BricsCAD, MATLAB and I still happily pay STEAM to play my Civilization, Doom Eternal, CS2 and I use Proton to continue my adventures in Diablo and Star Craft, all PAID. Adobe and Autodesk, be ashamed and instead of talking about market share, admit that you do not have competence.

Fuck you MATLAB and your shitty inefficient for loops. Now I have to rewrite most of my code to use matrices instead of structures cause you take so long. Fuck you and your stupid ability to scale my neural network.....who needed sleep anyway

Should I force myself to complete any kind of book/training/education to full?

I realized, I like to learn "new" things but I realized I do not complete material to 100% after I feel like I got to gist of it.

I started Bash Scripting book by Richard Blue but stopped at 20%, started 20 hour matlab training(free), stopped at 40% as well. Now I set my eyes on GoLang but I am sure I will not complete the material also.

Naval Ravikant says he is skipping most of the books and OK with having general idea of the books. But at some point, I feel like I should complete the chosen material, what do I know?

Last year in uni:
Module 1: Build two projects in a team using java

Module 2: Build a website for an airport using plain php/javascript/css (i had no previous experience with thia pathetic language with the dollar signs)

Module 3: build a website using python

Module 4: Rasperry PI with Matlab

*** I have to study C++ for the job I will be working at after uni..

I really want to specialise in C++ and finally get proficient in it, but hell no my curriculum requires me to know how to do the same exact thinf with 75668888765 languages... fs

I hate Matlab.

It's slow.

It's full of propriety nonsense.

It's costs money, which automatically makes it the worst thing to ever mar the beautiful face of the programming world.

Just so you know where I'm coming from, I own a 1980 Fiat X1/9. Needless to say I like to be under the hood and need to feel connected to what I'm working with.

The feeling I get when I want to pop the hood and maybe optimize something only to remember that this is a corrupt proprietary money machine built on the dry bones and scattered dreams of CS students whose sheltered coding experience won't give them a chance in the real world-- is a feeling I can not tolerate.

I quit.

Seen tons of people talking about all the coding programs but no posts on Matlab. Anybody a fan?

MATLAB is a great coding language.

Started playing around with HTML and CSS when I was about 8. Tried JavaScript but it never stuck. Started to learn a bit of Python when I was about 13 and enjoyed it, but never applied it to anything other than some maths. Used some basic ActionScript in Flash animations. Wrote some simple VBA in Excel. Learnt Matlab during my Engineering degree. Now I use Mathematica for my PhD work, Python for fun and useful bits of software for myself, and the occasional bit of PHP and whatever else I need at the time to get something working.

I can't make a code of a fucking damn thing....

Or maybe I shouldn't do matlab

Or maybe it's just me that suck

Or that I'm a piece of shit all along who is nothing but a piece of disappointment.... Disappointment as a service or disappointment as a shit
DaaS

I'm a fucking DaaS

I want to die

5 hours for 6 lines of code. Math is awesome and stuff, but translating matlab code into python and then extending it without knowing what it does (so you have to understand it first), well, is sometimes exhausting.

But after all this time I am so happy that it works and that I fully understand all the math behind it. And now I have to compare it to the other 6 methods I created for this task.. Yay.

Just did a group presentation for a uni exam.
Our analysis was by far the most thorough, most detailed of all the groups. Our presentation was one of the best as well.

Final score: 27/30

Why, you ask?
Because all our deltaT results were wrong. Because somewhere in the code there must be a bug in the function to calculate the transfer time between each orbital maneuver.
A bug that did not come up when we wrote that function, in spite of the multiple known test cases, which all worked fine.
We could have had a 30/30.

FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKK

implementing a Density based clustering technique DBSCAN on different datasets in MATLAB

Have to learn the Matlab language for school. It's proprietary, you have to pay for it, and arrays are not even 0 indexed!

While working on our matlab project, my laptop just suddenly stop responding. Even the task manager isn't responding! Everything is fucked up and the file hasn't been saved yet. Then a friend of mine started saying that Mac is better than windows and im like:

"Bitch pls linux is the best"

I won't spend a lot of money to buy a macbook. I'd rather spend money buying a better laptop with great specs and dualboot Linux alongside Windows.

MATLAB literally has matrix in the name but the fucking array start at 1 thing fucks up every single time I try to use a matrix or array. How do you do the one thing you designed your program to do so fucking poorly. Whoever decided they were going to make arrays start a 1 for a matrix manipulation program should be hung and quartered.

Why shouldn’t you trust Matlab developers?
>Because they’re always plotting something ! :)

When you are forced to use Matlab and later catch yourself indexing with 1, I'm hurt and wounded

Not really dev, but any time I have to use Matlab or R is a WTF experience.

Thank you Matlab, for my daily dose of frustration.

Thank you Matlab, for deciding to surface-plot a 2D variable with the x axis = columns and y axis = rows, because of course that's the most intuitive way to go about it.

Because of course that's consistent with the standard way to refer to a variable's elements.

After all, everybody knows that Z(i, j) refers to the i-th column and j-th row of a matrix, right?

Thank you, Matlab, for depriving me of the little fuck I gave about getting something done today.

Now go die in a fire.

It's getting on my nerve to constantly change from one programming language to another in one semester. We are learning web development (html css js), functional programming (haskell), speech analysis (matlab) and logical programming (prolog). It's driving me kinda mad having to change the approach for each assignment every few days.

So Matlab managed to crash my computer reading images.... Fml

I signed up for a uni lesson on MATLAB, the prof just changed his mind because he is braindead enough not to know MATLAB is not free, and decided to go with fucking C, because you know, there hasn't been a fucking assignment in my uni that wasn't in C except the OOP one. Miss me with that shit. I'm now going to develop automatic memory management and OOP libraries in C because if I write another program without proper OOP I will kill myself.

Has anyone else ever used Matlab and wished other languages had a similar setup? The coding window, repl, variables window and the debugger, all of which are constantly connected?

That moment your professor tasks you with writing a genetic algorithm and are forced to use MatLab (which I don't use).
"The University offers MatLab through ssh, so no problems, right?" Only basic package installed...
As cherry on the pie I found out that it's nowhere close to intuitive for me.
Got the feeling I could've done it way faster in the programs I'm used to, but finally got it working!

Fucking Matlab ><'
I can't get the fucking thing running on my Linux install. Took me 3hrs to install it, and now the fucking fonts won't show
i3 and Matlab do NOT go well together...

Just switched to MatLab, it's so good!

Anyone with experience in developing matlan simulations for magnetic localization?

old MATLAB versions are such a pain

I can't even check if a char array (sort of a string) contains another char array.

MATLAB is like a sports car for mathematics, but a broken wheel chair for actual programming......

So, right now I'm having to study the code of an old pretty complex Delphi calculation tool so I can migrate it to Matlab. There is no actual documentation.
The person who knows the tool best and only one left to have even seen the code is not supposed to know what I'm doing.
I'm supposed to talk him into giving me a quick (1h) walkthrough of the code without actually telling him why, or figure it out all by myself.
He feels too strongly about Delphi.
I kinda don't feel this ...

Why not you guys tell me why ya all hates matlab.
Me?
Me telling my friend a joke
Me: wanna hear some jokes?
Friend: sure
Me: matlab

So I'm working on a project with my professor, I ran into problem and don't know how to solve it.. everytime a spreadsheet is saved it should ask for two step verfication. Doing so while testing in matlab was easy. Now I can't implement it on system level..Since we're using Linux i thought i would be good idea to change the kernal files which handle copying and pasting or replacing... Any idea (I'm not a hardcore linux user) any input will be much appreciated

In high school, studied 3 years of Pascal, then went to Engineering Uni and became a master Matlab/Simulink Jedi

Been doing some MATLAB art for my dissertation, going to slowly increase the complexity hopefully for some more interesting results!

Right now it's definitely MATLAB!

I say Matlab is the greatest thing since sliced bread, what say you?

Bhai ne bola karne ka matlab karneka...

Which is better OCTAVE or MATLAB???I m really confused with whom I should go..

So tomorrow I'm gonna tackle my last exam for my MSc presenting the "group project" aka I did it myself (tfw ur mates can't even matlab at least) thingie and sustain the most brutal oral examination in the whole 5 years on organic industrial chemistry.

Wish me luck.

Can I install MATLAB for free even after completion of the course i.e 12 weeks?If yes please tell me how.