Random Guy: So you wrote all this in Java?
Me: JavaScript
Random Guy: Yea. What i said. It's the same!
Me: *triggered*

Today's my lucky day for job rejections...

"Unfortunately we have decided not to proceed with you as a candidate because the salary range you expect lies outside our budget."

That's very interesting indeed because in the very first interview (phone call) you asked me about that range and I gave it, straight and simple.

Then I had to do a coding challenge, which I usually refuse, but did anyway. It took about 15 hours. Let's not forget that it had nothing to do with the job I was applying for, but OK.

After that, a second interview, which took 1.5 hours and a third, which gobbled up 2 hours of my time.

Then you tell me that you're not willing to fork over the dosh, after having wasted 18.5 hours of my time!

Thank you very much, you anus blossoms!

Don't get too comfortable.

If your workplace isn't much of a learning environment, it's either time to learn on your own time or leave that workplace.

Don't be arrogant with those who are less tech savy. If your boss/cowoker doesn't understand, at least give them them a chance ☺.

Be kind to new developers who make mistakes; you were in their shoes once.

Realize there's more to life than just designing and implementing software. Don't let other areas of your life suffer just because you're a godly developer.

To the new devs:
Never push production on friday

If you are copy pasting code from somewhere else, spend some time and effort to understand what that piece of code is actually doing, and how much of your requirement does it satisfy.

"Don't underestimate the power of a semi colon.."

note to self: do not use super glue on your keyboard

note to self part two: do not listen to the internet and use nail polish remover to get super glue off your keyboard

Chuck Norris can instantiate an abstract class.

Why people diss php when they don't know about php7 and awesomeness like laravel..
Framework for artists indeed

My mom: "My iPad is broken because I deleted by Goggle account"

Me: "Are you actually using Android tablet? How the hell that you deleted your Google account affects your iPad?"

My mom: "No, I definitely using iPad, and now I can't Goggle. And I don't remember my Goggle account. Can you come and help me to fix it?"

Me: "There is no way to fix it, if you don't remember anything about your "Goggle" account. But I will come and see what happen to your iPad later."

To all web devs adding cookie-nags on your companys pages: stop that! Now! No where does that cookie law require you to ruin your site with nagging popups. Where's the focus on usability?

And the rule about informed consent? Which normal user (like my mother) knows what that means anyway? I call bs! Politicians, don't get me started.

Every user on the internet goes JMIGA: Just Make It Go Away, click whatever making that crap disappear.

What user will go "holy shit, they're using cookies!! I'm outta here!" No one in the history of the internet, that's who. Argh.

I knew I was about to get laid off so I stopped caring and started answering questions on stack overflow all day every day instead of working.

10k rep later I got a new job via stack overflow careers that pays twice as much.

Moral of the story? Be efficient... even when you are not.

Having to google something before you rant/comment so you don't look like an idiot

Start working with Excel export and imports in java... The Sheet goes real..

How many times do you mistype "git status" a day?

I will propose "git stauts" to be added as a valid command.

- Hey, have you heard of devRant?
- Look I have been a developer for more than 20 years; new IDEs, editors, languages or whatever that is, appear every week and they all just die. I'm sticking to my guns and nothing you can say can convince me to even look at this devCrap or whatever it is.
- Oooooookay...
#devCrap

I asked marketing how to rank higher on devrant, that's what they came up with:

True :|

Searching for the missing semicolon

ever been rushed to the hospital and suddenly your team lead calls you and asks if you can fix a bug? that happened to me.

if I had a penny for everytime I've had to tell a PM to clear their cache...

Well played Google, well played...

devRant is the first time I see so many people announcing to the world how much they like the app. Imagine someone be like "I LOVE Facebook! <3"

Btw, I LOVE devRant! <3

When you see a someone write this
if(condition){
return true;
} else {
return false;
}

The last known image of a Cobol developer. #conspiracy #Illuminati

"Sorry, you can't use this password. This password is already in use by user Sander. Please, choose another password."

4 years ago I was placed on probation for not having the special format in source control check in comments. When I asked, the 'special format' was
clearly documented on page 18, sub-section 4, sub-paragraph 2, "All check in comments will include the solution name, separated by a colon,
and why the code was changed." My check-in comment was only missing the colon. Indecently, over 80% of the other comments consisted of 'adsf',
'bug fix', and several 'BOOM!'s. So I mistakenly said out loud 'This check-in policy appears only to exist to allow management to cherry pick
developers they do not like, find something wrong, and put them on probation.' That comment got on a 30-day ‘corrective action plan’ for openly disagreeing with a
company policy. Today, all those managers were either fired or quit and now I set policy. Dear Mr. ex-Bosses, I won.

.push-up-bra {
margin-top: -25%;
overflow: visible;
}

It happens to me each month..