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Search - "god damn it"
Stop sending me your freaking PNG. Don't even dare to FREAKIN' make me use Chrome DevTools to get your FREAKIN' color our of your FREAKIN' PNG.
Give me all your colors in FREAKIN' hex, rgba, or whatever you want.
Give me all the fonts you used.
Give me all the sizes, is it percentage-based? Pixels based? Donuts-based?
I don't give a damn that you think you went responsive-first. Show me the damn responsive mockups. Not just the desktop sized with a note: "Don't worry mate, I made so that it all goes well when responsive".
Oh god. Oh god.
I'm not an artist, I give zero shit about how great it looks.
I'm a programming poet, I want to write code without having to open (or download it first through torrent) the damn photoshop, sketch, or whatever you use.
They take freakin' months to dump a mockup and we have days to make it happen. The pain.
The pain is strong with those damn designers.
At the airport.
Security: Please put all your electronics in the bin, including your watch.
Me: No problem
<goes through scanner>
Me: there was an Apple Watch in here and now it is gone.
Security: Oh, you lost your Apple Watch?
Me: No! I put my Apple Watch in the bin like you instructed and YOU lost my Apple Watch.
Security: It must be in the spinners.
Me: So my $500 Watch is in the spinners being run over by bins?
Security: you have to put the small things on the bottom.
Me: It was on the bottom and I did as you asked, this is entirely on you. Do not try to shift the blame to me again please.
Security: As I said...
Me: As I said, Do not try to shift the blame to me again. This is entirely your responsibility once you separate me from my electronics so you can perform security theatre. Have a nice day.
Fuck this god damn security theatre. Fuck the dumbasses they hire. Fuck your country. Fuck your god damn feeling of insecurity. Fuck Your ineffective security theatre.
Sick my fucking dick until you choke and gag you worthless pieces of shit. Homeless people the street provide more security than you incompetent, under-educated assholes. Fuck you
And yes, I have 2 fucking laptops. I have a real fucking job where I provide actual value and for that I need a work laptop. I don’t come to work in a stupid looking outfit with a chip on my shoulder looking to inconvenience people. I come to work to provide real value to someone.
Fuck you and your worthless bullshit43
"Sir, it compiles"
"But Sir, what about debugging?"
"I said push"
"But shouldn't we..."
"PUSH THE GOD DAMN CODE"4
note to self: do not use super glue on your keyboard
note to self part two: do not listen to the internet and use nail polish remover to get super glue off your keyboard14
I love Asus Products but who thought it would be a good idea to have the POWER BUTTON right above the DAMN DELETE KEY!?!?!?!!?
I often press the FUCKING POWER BUTTON accidentally... GOD DAMMIT...22
New job (first CS job).
Day 1: Install Ubuntu
Day 2: Dev said "it was so cute when he asked if he could uninstall windows." Also, first pair programming with engineer of 12 years. First commit (he did all the work, I just tried keeping up."
Day 3: "Here, try this bug " nearly get there. Have to leave early. Team event (Group VR experience, was wicked fun with drinks afterwards. Turns out boss man is a total bad ass. Swam with sharks and giant Wales)
Day 4: Fix bug. Notice odd behaviour. Fix that too. (All on my own). Code review: "This, that but works and is good." Get asked if I want to go to customer to do A, B and C. Tell Boss I only know B. He said "Tell me what you need for A and C."
I'm so God damn happy.8
Rekked/insulted a client so hard today in a way which was obvious for me/colleagues but not for the client that the colleague sitting next to me completely fucking lost it. (client did not detect/notice it)
That's entirely fine as he was not too loud but his laughter is so fucking contagious that he went outside to make sure that I wouldn't catch it any worse while on the phone.
God damn it took some serious self control to not completely lose my shit xD (it only partly worked 😅)19
God damn it, I'm a fucking computer guy. Not your fucking photographer. If you want pictures for YOUR website YOU fucking take them, NOT ME! Go step of a fucking lego.3
Our coffee machine at work is broken. We're a fucking high tech company delivering unique solutions with millions of requests every second of the day to over 60 countries, how can we not have a working fucking COFFEE MACHINE in the kitchen? How are we suppose to keep the lights on if we can't get our daily coffee god damnit?! It's been broken for over a week.
Sure, I'll just walk to the floor upstairs to get coffee LIKE THEY DID IN THE EIGHTEEN HUNDREDS. Maybe I should just come in to work on a horse with armor stabbing some funny looking fucker because it seems like we're living in the GOD DAMN EIGHTEEN HUNDREDS and that was a totally legit action back then. Get your shit together, call the company providing the coffee machine service and just have them fix it. How hard can it be??12
Fuck even html
And fuck web dev in general.
i can't do this shit anymore.
i've been working in web for ~2.5 years, 4 different companies, countless frameworks, technologies and tools and it feels good having that kind of knowledge and ability to do anything in this field, but god damn. I'm exhausted of "moving pixels" most of the time.
And i know, maybe different company and position would better suit me, but how often do people hire pure breed back-enders ? not that often, at least not in my country. Everyone has to do everything. And even then, php/sql/sysadmin/devops work doesn't motivate me as much. I need something that would make me actually think.
And so i decided to change my specialty, i'm going to follow my long lived dream - game dev (C++) :)
Oh i know, i'm not naive. I know how difficult and hard it is, but it seems like i've finally matured for it. So i've been waking up at 5 a.m and learning for ~3 hours before work for a few weeks now, and plan to go part-time at my work, after a few months (need to save up some money) for ~6 months, to focus on C++
Then hopefully i'll be able to land a junior position. If not, well, i wouldn't be a problem solver if i let that get to me :)14
I have been messing up my commitments for a good chunk of my life because of one simple word:
And only realised it like 4 months ago.
I lived so far under the impression that it means 'complex' ( it actually means 'simple')
"This is a trivial task" : Me to my manager 2 years ago
"Sounds simple but is quite trivial" : Me to my project lead
Yes, I am ashamed.
A lot of fuck-ups suddenly make sense.
I realise how I have been 'under delivering' on a 'trivial' task.
This will haunt me for life!!16
"could you put me through to a colleague who has the ability to have an actual intellectual conversation?"
Somehow I finished the call but God damn it took some energy and self control not to completely lose my shit. His tone was also very denigrating (he just didn't agree on something which was his fucking problem)
The amount of common sense questions which would require an individual to use their brain and/or a search engine for approximately a few seconds in order to gain the knowledge needed to answer it themselves was TOO FUCKING GOD DAMN HIGH TODAY.
IT CAN REALLY FUCKING PISS ME OFF SOMETIMES.17
I literally cringed today when my neighbor wanted help installing an app, she didn't tell me it was her banking app... And the thing I needed to help with was logging in... So she told me her bank details...
Even though I said (multiple times) it was dangerous to do so, and that she can't just trust people with this kind of information...
WHY ARE PEOPLE SO GOD DAMN STUPID WHEN IT COMES TO SECURITY!8
My family: Can you repair the printer ?
Me: No ...
My family: can't send my emails, fix it !
Me: No ...
My family: why this people can share my photos on Facebook ? Stop it now !
Me: Then stop sharing all your god damn life each time you eat, fart or go to the bathroom !!!! For fucks sake !
Also me: why have I started computer science ?2
That feeling you get when you run
$ php tvVolUp.php
And the god damn tv’s volume goes up a level 😆
Now to clean the shit out of the chaotic mess I just made and make it work from a Rpi which I’ll then add to my voice activated list for my google home.
Coz you know voice activated TV remote in PHP 😍5
Customer : c
Me : m
*Few weeks ago*
C: the server is slow, it sometimes takes 7 seconds before I see our data
(the project is 7+ years old and wasn't written by someone who is very good in SQL)
M: yeah I see that, our servers are busy with this one "process" (SQL query)
C: make it faster
M: well that's possible but it will take a few days (massive SQL spaghetti that I first have to untangle)
C: 😡 nvm then
C: server is down !
M: 🤔 *loads data from server and waits ~ 7 seconds*
M: Well what's the problem?
C: I need the data but it's so slow
WELL YOU MINDLESS IMBECILE... If something is slow it doesn't mean our god damn production server is down !
That just means that you have to give us a day or two so we can optimise the (ALSO BY YOUR REQUEST) rushed project... And save you YOUR money that YOU waste on the processing time on our server...4
*production is down*
Ops: At 5pm? On a Friday? *checks deploy history* God! Who did the deploy
Dev: It was a small patch, a tiny patch. It shouldn't have....
Ops: Deploy on a Friday evening?
Colleague: I didn't think it would...
Ops (on the outside) : *takes a deep breath* Its okay Dev, we can fix this. Don't worry
Me(in my mind) : for fuck sakes! Are you fucking kidding me?*** **** *** god damn it! *****9
I am old enough to go to jail.
I am old enough to have my own household.
I am old enough to pay my own bills.
I am old enough to have children.
I am old enough to take responsibility for my hypothetical kids and for my self.
I am old enough to gamble, drink and lease cars.
I am a self confident dude who took responsibility for creating machines that were worth millions.
And so on and so on..
But hey, it is ok if the fucking teacher at technical school treats you like a 16 yo pubescent child. Im glad he is interested whether i do my god damn homework. And yes, it is totally fine for me, that im getting treated like a unworthy dog who needs surveillance.
So, maybe i should suggest that we should ask for permission if we want to go to fucking toilet. Yes. That would be great. Gonna do that.15
God damn it, i said so many times that this functionality is proof of concept and needs more investigation into technical/legal details...why the flugzeug mr account manager have you gone and emailed all your client accounts telling them we are now offering it?... why are you messaging me starting your sentence with "now that we provide..." god...damn...it4
So my company hired a new UX girl last week, today is hers 3rd day at work.
Its 11.30 in the morning, I've been working for couple hours, on my custom module (if you have worked with drupal you know how stoked you are to write your own god damn code once in a while), im blasting some trance through the headphones. It is an early spring and the sky is clear. Perfect day non the less.
Out of nowhere this new UX girl appears near my desk, grabs my tea spoon without even asking and goes to stir her god damn tea. She throws it on the kitchen table without cleaning and goes to her desk.
I got so god damn triggered, this ruined my perfect mood for the upcoming 2 hours. Still cant think of a reason why she would do that, this is just plainly rude.15
If I hear "uh" or "uhm" one more time today, I might actually lose it, god damn fucking youtube tutorials.7
Why... why the fuck do people write unit tests and then comment out the god damn fucking assertion lines....
Like what the flying fuck? Cool, we can get some code coverage marks but for fuck sake actually let your tests do their fucking job!!!
Oh, the asserts fail?
Well fucking sort that shit out instead of commenting them out.
I don't get it, if you're going to write tests, fucking test something with them, or we'd be better of without them.8
God damn it udemy, you have courses on the fundamentals of ass wiping but I can't find a good quality c++ from scratch course
༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ Kill me15
I'm mad. Really really mad. I've worked so hard and this guy just comes in makes me feel inadequate. I come in every day and there he is sitting in his corner watching me as I work. For him it's so God damn easy! It takes me hours to do what he accomplishes in mere minutes! Oh yeah and he's such a fat ass too. He doesn't even have to do much to get his food. It just comes to him. I don't know how he fucking does it. He's got no fucking phone! What the hell!? I actually have to get up and go places to get my food. He's so fucking entitled, the little shit. He thinks he's a suave motherfucker. Well I fucking hate him. I might actually get around to killing him and then wiping the floor with him. But today's not that day. He's just a little to high for me to handle, honestly.
I should really just keep my head down and continue working and not let him bother me. But I can always feel it, that stare behind my head. I guess...
spiders are just better web developers than i am4
Fuck you ISPs you fucking idiotic morons.
I just came to house to fix PC.
It turns out that it wasnt a simple fix at all.
The house had a good working networking done because the owner was IT guy.
The fucking ISP just disconnected that crap and run its own fucking shit because i guess they didnt understand how it was wired.
You fucking morons now i have to redesign your fucking shit because you fucked up good working internet when you could have just changed one fucking cable at router.
Sure it will be paid good to do it but damn its a lot of fucking work.
They fucked it so much that they cut cable that lead to living room half way in and i was wondering why no cable was the other end.
I had to go trough fucking spiders shit just because you fucking ISP fucked up.
Funny thing ?
They didnt fucking follow the norms.
Not even the basic fucking ones.
They twisted two fucking ethernet cables together so they could fit it trough hole and not just make the hole bigger.
Did they hear about electro-magnetism ? I guess not.
I had to run the PC to network over fucking wifi.
I gave the person my own fucking Wifi adapter until the networking is fixed in proper fucking way.
God fucking dammit !!!!!!!!!6
My first Windows rant.
I use Spotify heavily. (After all, I am paying for it every fucking month.) In fact, it's safe to say I use it upwards of 12+ hours a day.
My birthday was a few weeks ago. I got a new mechanical keyboard using some money i received as a gift. This keyboard has a function key to launch your media player. Odd function in my opinion. But I figured I would try it out for a week or so.
My problem is: the default media center is that god forsaken piece of shit groove music (not only is it shit, I also have 0 mp3 files on my computer).
No problem, I'll just change the default media center. Fucking Windows doesn't let me change it to Spotify. Odd. Well, I did download it from Spotify's website. Let's try downloading it from the Windows store.
I download Spotify from the Windows store. It still cannot be set to the default media center.
For fuck sake, if Google can let me set Spotify as my default over their shitty YouTube Music that I know damn well they're trying to make as the default for all Android, then you can let me change it Windows.
Yes, I know Spotfiy isn't exactly a media center, but it's basically the same fucking thing.18
Me: I can fix that workflow in about five minutes, In fact I can do it right now as we are speaking on the phone.
Customer: okay well... let me contact the director and make sure it’s okay that you fix it.
Me: I won’t make any changes to how it functions I’m only going to make it work again as it used to
Customer: we might need to schedule a meeting to talk about this because I’m not sure that we should be changing the site without permission
Me on the inside: I literally have global admin rights, unlimited power in Sharepoint, am responsible for making sure this stuff works, and BUILT this fucking thing, so now that I’ve been alerted of an issue I’m going to fix it. You are welcome to blame me if your boss is upset about it but I’m not going to wait for a fucking meeting to make sure it’s okay that I update a god damn email address in a workflow.
Me IRL: okay sounds great let me know when it is :)5
Had some bad experience with new phone delivery times so I decided to sent an email the SECOND the official 'this item will be sent within 48 hours' was passed.
Got an email today saying that my item has been shipped.
Got an email literally about 30 minutes later saying that the item has been delivered.
Now that's some God damn fast delivery 🤔.
Or is it just the slow syncing maaaaby...5
God damn it. Today i took my laptop to school and you cant guess how many people though i’m a hacker. It’s quite annoying. But just because you use linux doesnt mean you are a hacker! You uneducated pieces of dumbass!!!!10
Fuck you Xiaomi for creating MIUI, damn it's so bloated with non-removable adware to the level of extreme annoying. It Keeps popping up ads from creating a Folder to Playing a music.
Look at that screenshot. It even serve an ad in built in cleaner app, like What the fuck man?! For real? I already disable the serve ads option. But it keeps turning on.
I even messing with the Permission settings, doesn't even help.
I REALLY WANT TO MOVE TO LINEAGE OS SO BAD, but the warranty is on duration. I don't want to void it.
God, give me a patience for another 7 month.24
"There is a problem with A, could you check it out? It's urgent for the client"
Me: Okay, just open a ticket for it too.
*Working on A"
After about ten minutes:
"Hey, there is a small problem B and it's also urgent for the client, we need you to check it out"
Me: I'm working on A and you are yet to open a tick... (Interrupted)
"But it's urgent and it's a small fix, we can fix it and push it to prod, A can wait for a bit"
(Since when is it a "we"?)
Me: *sigh* fine, lets see what's B is all about...
*After going over problems C to Z*
"Why isn't A ready yet? The client's mad and it was to be ready as of today"
Me: Because you had problems from B to Z and they were all urgent according to you so after each request you asked of me I had to postpone A with you knowing about it.
"But A is for today!"
FUCK YOU, YOU WORTHLESS WASTE OF JIZZ! YOU RAN TO ME FOR EVERY GOD DAMN URGENT PROBLEM YOU HAD FROM OUR SHIT OF A CLIENT AND INSTEAD OF TELLING ME THE PRIORITY YOU JUST THROWN IT ALL IN A RANDOM ORDER!
FUCK YOU! I WISH YOUR FATHER WOULD'VE SHOT YOU OUT THE WINDOW INSTEAD OF INSIDE YOUR MOTHERS CUNT!5
User gives me a Mac to work on, States that it “only needs Microsoft office Mac installed”
Boot up the laptop....
**Mac OS X utilities**
Hmmm, odd. Reboot.
**Mac OS X utilities**
You’ve got to be shitting me. Call user —
Her - “NO! It was working when I gave it to you, you fix it. I’m not paying to get my laptop returned broken. It was working when I gave it to you!”
Me - “I’m sorry, but it wasn’t. I literally turned it on and this is what it stated * read her the message*
Her - “I don’t believe you, you did something to my computer.”
YOU FUCK! THE FUCK I DID! YOU LITERALLY JUST HANDED ME THE GOD DAMN THING! Can I PLEASE curb stomp this bitch, please....12
When you set an alias for vi and completely forget about it
# alias vi=nano
God damn, I was so confused for a minute 🤦♂️21
Dear external developer dumbass from hell.
We bought your company under the assumption you had a borderline functioning product and/or dev team. Ideally both
For future reference expect "file path" arguments can contain backslashes and perhaps even the '.' character. It ain't that hard. Maybe try using the damn built in path parsing capabilities every halfway decent programming environment has had since before you figured out how to smash your head against the keyboard hard enough for your shitty excuse of a compiler stops arguing and gives in.
I am fixing your shit by completely removing it with one line of code calling the framework and you better not reject this.
This is not a pull request ITS A GOD DAMN PULL COMMAND.
- Is what i would _like_ to say right now... you know if i wouldn't be promptly fired for doing so :p
How's you guys friday going?8
If you haven't seen silicon valley... Do... For the love of God do.
And if you don't like it one... We will never get on, it's god damn hilarious ... Constantly
3rd time I've watched them all
Why must I always have great ideas for my projects and have the code in my head when I'm out for dinner with family and drinking, whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy11
God damn fucking shit.
Now I know again why I don't do apps.
This is a app as simple as can be:
Enter a link, click a button, do a http request, download a file.
BUT FUCKING HELL WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING RETARDED ANDROID?!
I'm not familiar with java but i don't care why is this so freaking unintiutiv to get shit done? Why are there thousands of ways and none works or atleast at a easy way? Make an object for this, make an object for that...
THIS IS RETARDED.
In PHP a simple "file_get_contents" would do the job. I were even down for some curl shenanigans if it were an easy implementation. BUT GOD DAMN.
URL url = new URL("http://fuckinghardcoded.com")
Oh no can't compile because that MIGHT be an invalid URL. Ok try catch this or just tell the rest of the Programm to watch out for this bad boy cause he might throw a MalformedURLException.
Ditch that and try volley. Everything is document except how to fire that queue! Does it do that by itself? Do I really have to do an override to a function while declaring? CMON ON I'M A WEBDEV IS THIS TRYING TO DO A FUCKING CALLBACK AND IS THIS TRYING TO BE AN ANONYMOUS FUNCTION??? Why is this so frustrating and confusing? I'm also mad at myself this is dropdead simple shit but I can't get it to work. Fuck this, fuck java , fuck android and fuck myself10
Holy fucking dickballs, AWS cloud platform is one of the most UX unfriendly piles of fuckery I have witnessed.
It starts off okay and then you have to use it for many hours a day.
API gateway is assfucked backwards in its layout and how it displays. Why have things go horizontally across the screen rather than flow down so I can scroll. Also when I add a method to a resource why the god damn fuck do I need to select it from the smallest drop down imaginable when you have HALF MY POXY SCREEN TAKEN UP IN LITERAL WHITESPACE NEXT TO IT.
Now I get on to the dynamodb interface whoever designed must have been some form of insane cause it is as clunky as a donkey in clogs.
Finally, Lambda console, look I get it UX is not you strong point. but WHO IS THE SADISTIC FUCKOFF WHO WANTED TO HAVE TWO SCROLLABLE TEXT AREAS THAT CAN NOT BE FUCKING EXPANDED SO I CAN SEE MORE THAN FOUR LINES OF THE FUCKING OUTPUT.
*grumble* 12hrs a day of this bullshit *grumble*11
Happiness 100 to 0 in 0.1234ms
For a second I was happy to see my ++ to 1110
I was like oh my god, I'm fucking getting the Avatar and stress Ball.
Later when I scroll through rants, I found it is in binary. Damn.10
God damn it.. Yet another night lost to the exciting world of cryptography and Internet security. Why is this shit so damn interesting?5
holy fucking hell, who’s dumb ass idea was it to make Visual Studio require a god damn fucking update for the installer before I can uninstall it, you stupid ass dumb fucks MS, I didn’t just tell you uninstall it so you can go burn more data down my shitty copper pipes.3
Ok so this happend in the last 3 days, I didn't post it till now because I had to seriously take a rest with all the bullshit and stress that came with it...
(Legacy project I have the lead in called: "Foo")
Management decided it would be effective to add a senior and a junior to Foo, which would make (together with me) to be 2 juniors and one senior developer
Well I've spend most of that day helping both the junior and the senior to setup "Foo" on their local development machines... So I could not do any programming myself
The senior wanted to refactor EVERYTHING... and I had to stop him multiple times because we simply do not have the time to do that...
The junior tried to work on other things as much as he could, and after he had run out of things to do, asked me for EVERYTHING... EVEN WHERE TO FUCKING CHANGE SOME GOD DAMN STRINGS!....
Also he did in total 3 commits, two of which existed of my code (because I had to "help" him
Both the junior and senior were removed from the project and I got another senior.. who fucking deleted the production database on accident
god damn rough few days man...7
I'm soon graduating from a tech/IT school which recently specialized in cybersecurity.
Today when I changed my password on their website, it displayed the old one in clear text.
God damn it people, THIS is the reason why our school's reputation has been slowly but steadily going down.1
bash.org, this website always cracks me up. Never gets old.
A few hilarious samples, if you will:
<mage> what should I give sister for unzipping?
<Kevyn> Um. Ten bucks?
<mage> no I mean like, WinZip?
<Sigurd> a sprite is anything not static
<SRElysian> a sprite is a variable object
<SRElysian> be it 2d or 3d
<TorMuck> a sprite is a fucking soda
<TorMuck> you god damn geekass bastards5
Me: *kills process*
Linux: 3243 killed.
Me: "sudo netstat -ntlp | grep 3243"
Linux: 3243 running.
* hour later *
Me: *kills process with 3045974th method*
Linux: 3243 killed.
Me: "sudo netstat -ntlp | grep 3243"
Linux: 3243 running.
Me: "Are you absolutely FUCKING kidding me?! What is this fucking thing, the god damn grim reaper? I've done some SKETCHY fucking things at the terminal to kill this BASIC fucking server and it is still running!! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU?!"
Manager: *peeks in helpfully* "Did you try the 'kill' command?"16
Was trying out React Native and creating a Hello World, I checked the file size and it was about 465mb, and I just thought it was nonsense, then I checked the size of the node module and it was 465mb...smh
god damn node modules man!7
Got bored and threw a wrapper for devRant together and god damn it chromeOS why do you have to add a line to separate the window bar from the main content, would have looked slick!3
Mint can't find correct driver for Intel NUC.
The download page for linux Intel graphic driver update tool project was closed.
Asked what's happened on Ubuntu stack exchange, got immediately closed, because of off topic: mint is not Ubuntu...🤦♂️
My solution is to uninstall mint, and install Ubuntu...
Still the same driver issue, but at least I could ask...
God damn it.26
Let's do photorealism they said,
It'll look beautiful they said,
Fuck it, we're going with low poly. I'm not rendering one fucking tree, for three god damn hours!
(That's presuming that it doesn't crash during that period)
And yes I know it doesn't actually look that photorealistic, but hey, give me a break I just started. Plus I don't even wanna know how long it would take to render if it was done to look really fancy.13
Coworker: so once the algorithm is done I will append new columns in the sql database and insert the output there
Me: I don't like that, can we put the output in a separate table and link it using a foreign key. Just to avoid touching the original data, you know, to avoid potential corruption.
C: Yes sure.
< Two days later - over text >
C: I finished the algo, i decided to append it to the original data in order to avoid redundancy and save on space. I think this makes more sense.
No. Learn this principal:
" The original data generated by the client, should be treated like the god damn Bible! DO NOT EVER CHANGE ITS SCHEMA FOR A 3RD PARTY CALCULATION! "
Put simply: D.F.T.T.O
Don't. Fucking. Touch. The. Origin!5
Where the fuck my privacy go?
I'm paying you to listen to music or watch films, I don't want you to create a damm profile my taste or "learn" what might like.
If it was a free service, fine, I'd understand, but I am fucking pying you. I should have the option to completely disable your arse sniffing software.
I know some of them provide a "private mode", but I want that to be the default, I am paying for the god damn service :/6
Two months ago, I went to an interview that I thought I aced... Time passed and I heard nothing. Got bummed cause it's one of the rare positions that doesn't require industry experience, plus a friend works there so that would be fun.
Yesterday tho, i received a phone call from said friend saying that he finally got an update on a situation (since the whole thing was kinda in the dark even inside the company).
Apparently, the boss who directly interviewed me fought to the nail to hire me cause I was most qualified (even tho I'm very modest and generally nervous as fuck on interviews), but was denied funds for the new department at the moment.
Still bummed about the whole situation, but god damn it feels great to know that I'm still the first choice if/when they get funds3
At my previous job we had to complete an online security training exercise. It shows you how to behave secure in the work place, to not open unknown links etc. The scary part was that the entire training thing was BUILT IN FUCKING FLASH. So I'm suppose to listen to some god damn virus shitting flash application on how to do online security?! Get your shit together before teaching others.5
Is it normal for every stupid, arrogant, selfish person to talk all kinds of bad stuff about my app and attack me personally on the play store? It's just a soundboard and it's free you pricks, be grateful for once and don't mind the god damn ads so much. I can't believe that shit.5
i am fucking tired of companies that come to me expecting to magically fix their STEAMING PILE OF BULLSHIT AND TRASH CODE. how about when i ask "can i get a project brief", instead of saying "just fix it" or "it just needs to do this", GIVE ME A FUCKING COHERENT AND DESCRIPTIVE WRITEUP OF EXACTLY WHAT YOU NEED. i can't read your minds, let alone read the code the previous cock sucking developer wrote, so guess what? i'm left with no other option but to completely rewrite it. to top it off, instead of giving me god damn excuses as to why you can't get me the api key for your order processing, MAKE A NEW ACCOUNT AND GET IT TO ME. how the fuck do you expect me to test an application when i don't even have access to the fucking api the whole shit pile is based around? i swear to god if these people expect me to have this done by the end of the week but want to be little cunt nuggets they can go eat shit. fuck you, fuck your "contract", fuck your company, FUCK EVERYTHING. greedy, shit faced bastards2
I really, really, fucking god damn it REALLY need to move a legacy project from the grave yard server and get it in git, and then build a dev environment for it, so I can stop making incredibly volatile changes direct to PROD (backend, frontend and DB all at once and then test it while it’s live and being used, but fuck me if I can be bothered digging through a 10GB code base and attempting to make it work in a multi-environment setup when it’s going to be a long trip down the error logs until it works again 😱🔫2
/* rant */
I freaking hate it when people call me to fix their 9 gazillion dollar ultra extreme enthusiast alien technology pc just so they can play a a god damn freaking son of a damn bloody bitchy fb game on 9000 fps in 4k while some people struggle to have 6 tabs open at the same time so they can code+compile+preview+consult the interwebs. And lets just not mention the amount of monitors mmkay?5
The entire fucking internet is an unusable pile of shit. Why is it that every time I click on LITERALLY ANY link on google and I start reading, 2 seconds later the text shifts to an other location because the fucking font loads, 3 seconds later it fucking moves again because a god damn ad just loaded above it, and after all the loading bullshit is done it shoves a fucking cookie banner (that usually covers half the page) and a fucking newsletter popup in my face. This makes it literally impossible to quickly read someting on a website without interruption. It's fucking 2020 and we bout to put a fucking man on mars, yet the technology still isn't advanced enough to make the internet less fucking annoying.12
Seriously, Ubuntu can go burn in hell far as I care.
I've spent the better part of my morning attempting to set it up to run with the correct Nvidia drivers, Cuda and various other packages I need for my ML-Thesis.
After countless random freezes, updates,. Downgrades and god-knows-what, I'm going back to Windows 10 (yes, you read that right). It's not perfect but at least I don't have to battle with my laptop to get it running. The only thing which REALLY bothers me about it is the lack of GPU pass-through, meaning running local docker containers rely solely on the CPU. In itself not a huge issue if only I didn't NEED THE GOD DAMN GPU FOR THE TRAINING21
I dread working everyday. Web development isn't for me. I know some of you guys love it and there's definitely a lot of money and job openings for it but god damn it, I could not bring myself to care about the shit I'm doing.
I miss my old job.32
I spent almost 10 hours coming up with this RegEx. Trial and erroring my way to hell. First I had get rid of the HTML tags (which was easy-ish) then I spent most of my time trying to figure out how to remove the god damn dash but keep hyphenated words ....... Then I found \B and look behinds...
I am making it a point to get good at this shit... Because right now I am petrified of it... Fuck you Regular expression you have taken away all my emotions...15
Microsoft are you serious! You are installing a major update that will take a while, specifying that it will restart my computer many times without even asking if I want to proceed with it now or later! I don't have my charger ! What would happen if It goes out of battery! Damn you Microsoft !! Isn't there any good OS or what! Windows is sometimes buggy ! Linux distros don't make use of GPU! And I don't even talk about Mac.. God damnit we're on year 2017 and made so many astonishing work and still there is no fully operational and good OS! 😬😬😬17
The new mobile app codebase i'm working with, was clearly written by someone who just read a book on generics and encapsulation.
I need to pull out 2 screens into a separate library to have it shared around. The 1 networking request used is wrapped up in a 'WebServiceFactory' and `WebServiceObjectMapper`, used by a `NetworkingManager` which exposes a generic `request` method taking in a `TopLevelResponse` type (Which has imported every model) which uses a factory method to get the real response type.
This is needed by the `Router` which takes a generic `Action` which they've subclassed for each and every use case needing server communication.
Then the networking request function is part of a chain of 4 near identical functions spread across 4 different files, each one doing a tiny bit more than the last and casting everything to a new god damn protocol, because fuck concrete types.
Its not even used in that many places, theres like 6 networking calls. Why are people so god damn fucking stupid and insist on over engineering the shit out of their apps. I'm fed the fuck up with these useless skidmarks.3
God damn it lastpass, how the hell do you get a memory leak and an infinite loop in a fucking browser extension?! Using 7GB of RAM and all 8 cores @ 3,4GHz!!11
I live in a developing country where not a lot of people know much about security, programming and such. The moment I make a post about coding or something on social media, relatives/friends/strangers come and ask me to hack a Facebook profile or request a free download link to PUBG. And when I say that I can't, or that it's not really possible, they fuss and blame me for it. God damn people.3
So I had to use office and image editing tools on Linux today.
Holy mother fucking god are these things awful. Gimp, pinta, gnome paint, libre office, open office... they seem like a project some guy threw together a weekend in his bedroom. The UX is shite and makes 0 sense. They crash and lag all over the place. For fuck sake!
Also... Gimp, libre office and open office. If you want to make an alternative to a well known product (Photoshop and MS Office in this example) then just fucking copy the god damn UI as much as you can. No-one is going to go learn your fucking half ass product, people only use this shit because it's free and available on Linux.
I swear, I seriously considered sending the images to my phone and just fucking edit them there because it would have been so much easier than using this pile of shit.
Google a problem
Click on first link that details the exact problem I'm looking for. This guy has exactly the same problem as me.
First answer is "Oh my god just google it". There are no other answers.
Go back to google. The entire first page is jackwagons just telling people to google it.
God damn it, I am googling it.5
The Cloud Of Bullshit
Every day I wake, and I think of my one true mission in life. To mock and ridicule paint huffing idiots. Something recently that drew my ire, like the hemorrhoids on my ass is this idea of 'the cloud', THE CLOUD and the buzzword lingo-bingo bullshit that providers use to hype and sell it.
For example, airtable is an amazing service. I love that I can insert just about anything into a row, create any of my own row datatypes, that it's flexible as all hell.
I love it.
And I hate that I'm essentially locked in to the cloud.
I fucking hate how if my internet goes down (thanks you pie eating inbred dipshits at comcast) I have no access.
If the company is bought, they'll shut down like all the rest , to be "relaunched at a later time" (or never).
I hate that if the company doesn't make enough money, or it's investors change their mind, woopsie, service is shut down.
I hate that the cloud is synonymous with massive data leaks and IOT-levels of stupidity in security practices.
Every time someone says "but its in the cloud! Isn't it amazing!"
I always think 1. YEAH IF IM AN INVESTOR I GET TO MILK LOW BROW FINGER PAINTING FUCKWITS EVERY MONTH like Adobe sucking the blood from infants who are still in college.
2. Why? So I can get locked into their platform, have them segment off previously free features (fucking youtube and the 'subscribe so you can continue playing audio with your screen off' bullshit), and then have fees increase month over month?
3. Why, so every four years during the presidential selection, if I piss off some fuckstick braindead lemming literally sucking his girlfriends BFs cock, they can potentially shut me out from my own data completely?
The Cloud is built on shit-colored hype sold to knob gobbling idiots, controlling idiots, profiting at the expense of idiots, and later fucking them for buyout payola. The Cloud is a Cloud of Bullshit shat out by huckster messiahs straight into the lapping mouths of fanatics worshiping slavishly like toilet drinking scum at the porcelain alter of a neon god, invisible, untouchable, and like a spigot, easily shut off without anyone noticing. And when it happens, I'll be there, shouting "WHERE IS YOUR CLOUD NOW?"
Native any day. 100% native or I don't fucking want it
None of this node.js-gone-native bullshit either with notetaking apps taking up hundreds of megabytes of ram, where everything is bootstrap or react, in a browser, in a window container, because people are so fucking incompetent we have to hold their hand WHILE they give themselves a reach around.
Native or nothing.
For my favorite notetaking app, I use Microsoft OneNote. "OH god, a heathen, quick, stick his body up on a stake!"
But hear me out. I'll be the first one in a crowd to kick bill gates in the nuts (not because I particularly hate microsoft, just because I think hes kind of a cunt).
So when I say onenote is good, I really fucking mean it. Sure they did some cunty things like 'dumbed down' the interface, and cut out some options. But you know what they can't do?
Shut down the damn service (short of a system update completely removing the whole app, which, frankly, wouldn't surprise me).
It's so god damn good it waxed my balls, cured my cancer, fixed my relationship with my father, found my long lost brother, and replaced ALL my irl notebooks.
It's so good that if it was cocaine I'd be hospitalized for overusing it.
So god damn good it didn't just replace all my notebooks, it even replaced and sped up my mockup process three to five times. Want layers?
Built in. Just drag an image on to the notebook to import instantly.
Want to rearrange layers? Right click select "send forward/back/bring to front/send to back".
Everything snaps to grid by default and is easily resizeable.
I had all the elements for a UI sliced and diced. Wanted to try a bunch of layouts. Was gonna take me two damn days.
Did it in three hours with the notebook features of onenote.
After I started using onenote, me and my bodypillow finally conceived even.
Sweet marries mammaries I just fucking jizzed. Thank you onenote.
P.s. It really did speed up my UI design, allows annotated images, highlighted text. Shit, it can even do kanban.
And all I can think is "good job microsoft making an awesome product for free, being dumb as fuck for not charging for it, and then not marketing it at ALL."
It was sheer fucking luck that I discovered it while was I was looking for vendor STD bloatware to blast off my new install.
OneNote: Worth a try even for the kick-gates-in-the-nuts fan club.
The cloud can suck my balls.18
WHYYY is LDAP so god damn convoluted??!?
I love the idea of it, but in practice, everything is just a hack on top of hack on top of hack going as far back as the 90s.3
FUCK OFF with all this Code of Conduct/ Contributors Covenant BULLSHIT..... Coraline Ada Ehmke The stupid cunt ass tranny bitch started this bullshit.
Heres a crazy idea.... Focus on the god damn code and quit worrying about the other shit.
If you cant stand the heat get the fuck out of the kitchen....
I am sooooo fucken tired of this pansy ass cry baby SJW generation. All of them just need to be forced onto a judas chair... im afraid they would like it too much tho.
At this point there is'nt a law to prevent me from discriminating against Political Ideologies in employment. Its the only way to prevent your company from being infected by the virus.19
Working with a client on his "superior idea" and suddenly this happens: (longer rant)
Client wanted me to move a div by 3 millimetres to the left and blamed me for not being capable of doing so while giving him a nonsense about different resolutions and screen sizes. (Use a ruler, DUH)
Me: Here's the updated design layout as our designer specified.
Him: Looks good but it needs to be moved 3 millimetres to the left
Me: *Confused as hell* - Wait, did you just said 3 millimetres?
Him: Yes, is that a problem for you?
Me: *Amazed* Well, yes, you see, we don't measure in millimetres. We use pixels.
Him: Ahh, can't you do anything right!? Why do I have to deal with your nonsense of telling me that this is not impossible? Just take your god damn ruler and put it on your screen, then move it 3 millimetres to the left.
Me: You do realise that every person has a different size/resolution monitor so it won't work?
Him: I don't care. Just do your god damn job or i'll find someone else to do it.
Story continued in such manner - we spent an hour on skype moving the stupid <div> around until it hit his 3 millimetres mark.
His: See, you could do it.
Me: *Sends him screenshot of my own screen (his was 1024x768, mine 1920x1080) where page is broken and not aligned*
Him: Oh come on, you break every god damn thing. You are the worst. I'm going to find a better one. *hangs skype call*
Him: *3 days later* Hi, so, umm, I've talked to other developers and they said it's impossible to measure in millimetres. Can you revert those changes we did?
After all this I've fully realised that this person is sits at computer very rarely and does not how it even works...5
First we had this stupid Hoverboards.
Now we have god damn fidget spinners. Every Idiot got one.
Now there's fucking Fidgets Spinners with LED.
Will the next fucking Cancer be a IDE with RGB flashing Code, animations and this shit is coming form coding Noob Hipsters and script Kiddies, who wanna be cool???
Kid from the future: Yo Bro lets configure our LED Fidget Spinner with this premade software and call it coding. We will be cool hackers.12
Absolutely hate these "moving up", "stairs of success", "we are so diverse!" stock photos all over the internet.
You feel like you are being subtle, fuck no. Unless your target audience is stupid as as fuck, this photos looks dumb and over the top. And what is up with this "diversity" all over the place? don't get me wrong, I am all for diversity. But learn how to apply it properly.
"Looks like we need a picture of a student. Oh no, we need to be diverse. Add 15 kids of 15 different ethincity in the same picture to make sure we looks diverse. Phew!"
And the animations. Holy fucking shite. Why is it that a cheap website immediatly means that your website needs to have 100 different animation in the front page.
Seriously, picture rolling from here and there. Text coming out of nowhere.Everything being squeezed and rotated. God damn it!
This is another reason I fucking hate these 1 click websites and shite like that. This fucking website was created with WiX and my God, it's a fucking nightmare.
Good news is client is recreating the website.3
I only went and left my god damn bag on the train with my work laptop in it (2016 Macbook Pro, started this job 2months ago...). Now I have to get up at 5 fucking 30 am to make a 5 hour round trip to collect it while making up a BS excuse to WFH, or more accurately - work from some cafe in a random city 200 miles away. FML8
By telling everyone that I have it so I can pretend to be an edge lord tortured genius and escape the need to work on my severe lack of accomplishments. Now I can have the credit of having such a crippling amount of intelligence without doing the work to prove it.
Someone else has more accomplishments than me? Oh no, that doesn't count. You see, I have impostor syndrome, I'm better than that person if only I can drag my giant balls around. You can't prove me wrong! Ha! I'm smart.
God fucking damn it. I shat on a weekly rant again. I fucking hate this topic.3
WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SO FUCKING SURPRISED SHIT HITS THE FAN EVERY GOD DAMN TIME A CHANGE IS MADE IN YOUR LIMPING SYSTEM?
YOU GAVE NO FUCKING SPECIFICATIONS NOR ANY CARE TO DECIDE ABOUT WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT IN IT.
EVERY TIME I SEE THE CODE I GET EYE CANCER, DEBUGGING THIS SHIT IS AS HARD AS FINDING THE FATHER IN A HOBO STREET ORGY
AND YOU FUCKING THINK ADDING FEATURES INTO THE SYSTEM UNDER THESE CIRCUMSTANCES IS SO GOD DAMN EASY.
I hope life's god damn dandy for you, get fucked with a pipe bomb.
Oh, hello DevRant, sorry for sitting on the fence for the past months.4
Not about favorite language but about why PHP is not my favorite language.
I recently launched a web shop built on Prestashop. I found that some product pages are so god damn slow, like taking 50 fuckin' seconds to load. So I started investigating and analyzing the problem. Turns out that for some products we have so many different combinations that it results in a cartesian product totalling about 75K of unique combinations.
Prestashop did a real bad job coding the product controller because for every combination they fetch additional data. So that results in 75K queries being executed for just 1 product detail page. Crazy, even more when you know that the query that loads all these combinations, before iterating through them, takes 7 fuckin' seconds to execute on my dev machine which is a very very fast high end machine.
That said I analyzed the query and now I broke the query down into 3 smaller queries that execute in a much faster 400 ms (in total!) fetching the exact same data.
So what does this have to do with PHP? As PHP is also OO why the fuck would you always put stuff in these god damn associative arrays, that in turn contain associative arrays that contain more arrays containing even more arrays of arrays.
Yes I could do the same in C# and other languages as well but I have never ever encountered that in other languages but always seem to find this in PHP. That's why I hate PHP. Not because of the language but all those fucking retarded assholes putting everything in arrays. Nothing OO about that.2
Fuck you apple, and fuck your god damn shitty documentation.
Working with NFC enabled passes, their documentation says "payload max is 64 bytes"
What they ACTUALLY fucking mean is 64 ascii characters.
Also, the way they handle date time formats is fucked. They say they support W3C formats (iso) but what they actually mean is, they support a half assed version of a subset of it.
I told their chief engineer over a phone call and his response;
"I agree, our documentation is lacking"... HOW ABOUT YOU FUCKING UPDATE IT!
Also, how they handle json is just bad.7
This just happened to me, a few minutes ago:
Colleague: Could you please call xyz and ask how we can administer their server and ask about the bug?
Me: Sure, gonna do this after lunch.
Me: So I called xyz, and we're now able so ssh into the machine to administer stuff [...] and they'll check the bug.
Colleague: Oh yeah great, I called xyz a hour ago and we're all set didn't they tell you?
Me: No, they didn't.. (YOU GOD DAMN PIECE OF SHIT!)
Colleague: Oh an what about the bug?
It's totally fine if you're going to do it yourself but WHY dou you WASTE MY TIME? You could've told me that you already called them! 🤬1
Me: i am so proud of me i finished this god damn script ! ... But i can improve it right ? Humm... Whatever i don't want to right now!
*Two weeks later*
Me: oh i need to improve the script i wrote *open the file* ... Why ?
So I finally get code in Xcode able to compile and run after crashing in main()... due to obscure settings in it's build it does not like. Took hours of hunting around, googling, and used up all my craps table luck for the month.
Now, out of the blue, after a good 30 test run, edit, compile, run cycles... BOOM, the god damn thing starts crashing at before main() again. No friggin idea why.
Xcode says SIGABRT to me... yea well I got something for you Apple Xcode... 🖕🏼1
Need to whip up a quick demo on how a site might work for an organization, so I figured I'd just use the default twentynineteen theme and customizer to get it set up.
Turns out that twentynineteen *does* *not* *have* sidebars.
Instead, all of your content is offset to the left.
And all right-floated boxes go off-margin to the right.
And this is apparently a *feature* because now you can change your sidebar on every damn page instead of setting it in one place like a good site design would dictate! (link: https://github.com/WordPress/...)
I've been trying to bite my tongue and give it a fair shot, but saying that having the only dedicated widget area in the footer and forcing you to rebuild your sidebar on every damn page you want it on is a good thing is beyond the pale stupid. If you need that level of customization on every page, you don't know what you're doing. At the very least include a sidebar and give people the option of overriding it.
And for the love of God, *don't throw the entire goddamn body content off-center claiming you're leaving space for a sidebar you're not going to provide*!2
The joys of Drupal.
Coworker: i can't hide this option from this select. it's been created programmatically by another module.
Me: doesn't that mean you defined it somewhere?
C: nope, the module does it with the whole taxonomy
M: can't you interact with it somehow,
C: i don't know
M: you don't know?
C: it's a module by the community, i don't understand it
M: *what the fuck.* ...fine. can you hide it with some js for now?
C: i tried no. they get loaded at different times from different behaviours.
M: then... what?
C: i don't know, i've been searching drupal.org for the whole morning to no avail.
M: *god. damn.* Create the select with something else, then? maybe by raw php?
C: that's bullshit! you don't create elements lile that in 2018! no one writes php or html anymore, unless he"s retarded!
Bloody hell. I'm not covering for this. My part is done (in rails) and i'll deliver it this afternoon. Not for this kind of delay.
3 damn hours for 200 lines of bash code.
Exorcism, Magic I don't care.... But please make a special person never touching bash programming again.
I ripped my hairs out. Really.
Till I realized someone wrote functions with _logical_ return true codes as numbers.
0 - as logical false, for failure
1 - as logical true, for success
Leading my brain into a severe segfault fun.
Why... Oh why.
Second fun part as I corrected that...
Someone wasn't fond of exit codes at all.
Script is now 86 % rewritten....
God damn it, if you don't like a languages fine.
But inverting core logic should give a free trip to the electrical chair.1
God fucking damnit automating a client's "Job applicant form" system is the most boring shit l've ever done.
Get me some damn monkeys to do this
"Oh OK so I just have to take this form and turn it into HTML. Oh shit, 25 check box's, let's just copy paste this shit in over and over. Oh damn, forgot I have to change the name and value fields for each one. God damnit this is boring, I guess I have to"
Fucking hell it's annoying work, Boring, easy, no thought needed. Ended up turning this task into a drinking game. Every time the word "Management" came up, I took a shot. Got me pretty fucked up.
Client emails back; "Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, we have these 3 other forms we want you to automate".
Well fuck at this point I feel like more of an alcoholic than a developer.5
Is it only me or does Unity really force people to write ugly code?
Sometimes I think to my self : " just go and write your god damn own fuckin engine"
But then I sit back and realize that I'd never finish a game that way.
Love & Hate Unity !3
why is everyone's god damn answer in the corporate world fuking meetings?
you usually don't solve anything with them anyway, and there's too damn many
if you took the time to read the conversation, you'd know there's no meeting needed and the other party agreed to a method that wont break shit
or if you had half a brain and read the part of the chat you didn't even need to scroll up for you could think of something simple like not breaking working things and asking before changing it?
fukin corp retards, company men. how is this world still going?7
I don't need you to reiterate what the problem is. I am aware. I was the one who told you what the problem is. Via email and Slack. Why do you keep restating it to me like you are the one who figured out? I know the table isn't syncing with the third party object. I'm trying to figure out WHY. No amount of "I'm pretty sure the sync process is broken" will trigger a solution. Stop coming into my office every 5 minutes with a new "revelation" that wasn't even your own. This isn't my code, and since the owner of said code is not here to fix it, I have to spend some time figuring out how this damn thing works. SO PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, LET ME WORK SO I CAN FIX THIS2
Much obliged if you stop reloading the folder and searching it every five fucking seconds you fucking cunts.
Good god damn this fucking 'feature' of windows 10 grinds my fucking gears. I hit 'x' to stop seeing the visual distraction of the fucking green loading bar when the folders already loaded. Same thing with music. All I want it to do is open and play my fucking song.
Does it do that?
No instead it spends precious cycles updating fucking indexes or sprinkling crack rocks on the corpse of my cpu or whatever cycle fairies at fucking microsoft programmed it to do while wasting my fucking time.
I wish I had a brick and a microsoft programmer within throwing distance, I'd be sorely tempted to nail the motherfucker square in his fucking big fat melon.
fuck count: 87
The fucking defective Caps Lock on Apple keyboards drives me fucking ballistic!
WHY would they ever think it would be a good idea to introduce a minimum press time for a key?!?
EVERY. FUCKING. TIME. I use the damn thing it inevitably fails and I have to backspace, delete the non-caps text I just entered after HITTING THE FUCKING CAPS LOCK KEY, tap the damn thing again (harder this time) and try again. It usually takes 2 or 3 tries before it actually catches. I'm sorry, but training myself to type slower is not as easy as you think!
Who the fuck thought up this nonsensical bullshit?? And who the fuck is going around accidentally tapping their caps lock key to the point where such a delay would be needed?? Do you not know where your own fingers are??
Seriously, all this does is penalize fast typists and people who actually want to USE the caps lock key for what it was meant for.
I swear to god this one little thing pisses me off SO much. And what's worse is they don't even give you an option to disable it, AND it's bloody fucking impossible to disable yourself even through the terminal.
(Also, typing this rant with so many caps was probably not as cathartic as I was going for!) 😂9
And the time has come, my gf and I are just a month away from deploying yet we still call the project "project".
Usually solutions jump in my head when programming at least once a day but I can't name the damn thing for the love of God! It's the first night since we started development I have felt clueless.
Plus I don't want to be "that guy" that just gives it a generic name, like there's already a "ratemyprofessors", professor this, teacher that, fuck that shit!
I'm brain dead.9
#define RANT 0
My paid training to become a dev starts today. Or rather in half an hour. God damn it I'm nervous. Even though I'm already kinda experienced. I'll be that company's first trainee.
It will be mostly C#.
I enjoyed my 2 month long holidays that lasted until now, though.4
porra; caralho; toma no cu.
this fucking shit xamarin. I wish the ass who programed the xamarin vs2017 integration to go fuck off.
srsly, I just want to fucking code this fucking fucker VS2017 keep shitting all around me
first I was gonna install it. didn't install because no memory left. fair enough, my fault there.
cleaned 35 gbs.
finish installing VS, with xamarin. FIRST GOD DAMN TIME I create fucking project, 2 fucking errors and 3 warnings. I DIDN'T EVEN TYPE A COMMA.
ok, tried fucking it. it seems to be conflict between version of Android and xamarin forms. fucker you it shouldn't be like this. anyway.
tried downloading the updated Android version.
it failed at 80%! what error you ask? missing fucking space ok, fuck that thing is huge, ok, my fault again. uninstalled all programs I was not using, all projects I'm not current working on. more fucking 30GB free. tried again. ANDROID IS TOO FUVKING HUGE CAN'T INSTALL IN 30GB!!!
Ok. instead of updating android, gonna downgrade xamarin, can't downgrade. ok gonna remove and install an early version.
unistalled. CAN'T FIND XAMARIN DLLS.
I was like, fuck this project, gonna start a new one. ok, all seems fine, for some weird reason. Except no. I try adding a new page, ops, APPARENTLY VS2017 CAN'T LOAD A GODDAMN .XAML
Ok, I can create a .cs page. done, except now I get a fucking timeout error. fuck.
I search the internet for a workaround, see a guy saying I could manually add a .xaml + .cs by creating this files and then adding them to the proj file.
did it. I go again, everything seems fine. but now I can't freaking reference the damn page.
I'm fucking losing my mind here.
In the mean time I have to turn in this project at the end of the week AND I CAN'T FUCKING OPEN THE GOD DAMN FREKING PROJECT PROPERLY!
FUCK. MY. LIFE.
FUCK XAMARIM AS WELL
FUCK VISUAL STUDIO
FUCK THAT DAMN SSD
FUCK THAT BOSS WHO THINK THAT A 128GB SSD IS ENOUGH
FUCK IT ALL...15
Im stuck on fucking lineage-sdk error on my porting progress and i cant figure it out. I really hope that redownloading the sources helped cause if not and i build it and the build fucking fails again at the same error im gonna be really fucking mad and i surely will write a really god damn good rant.
However good that sounds i really want it to compile just fine since if it does then well even better rant coming7
Finally back at home (after having some trouble with Deutsche Bahn).
It is cold and cloudy here.
It feels so weird to use a laptop. I was there (in Turkey) only with my phone, typing this post on my laptop. The screen is so god damn big.
My bed is very soft. My kitten got very strong and fluffy. He looks more muscular now lol. And it seems like he missed us :3.
I missed him and I missed my car that I did not like like a month ago. I really understood how much value it has. Besides of that my mind is clean now. It was like meditation.
Fuck that pussy ass description.
How was your day, fellas?6
So today was interesting.
I had to extract the domain from an email address and compare the domain to a hard coded whitelist, nothing difficult, fuck takes 2 min really.
Except the project starts throwing 500 errors for no god damn reason, like seriously, I double check syntax, nope looks fine, run pho's syntax checker on the file
# php -l /path/to/file.php
Nope says it's all good.
Checks error log on server -> no log
Comments out the few lines, saves, errors gone.
remove comments, error comes back.
Do this a few times, and magically the fucking thing stops throwing errors, now I haven't actually changed anything, and I know this project is so fragile I don't know how it stays running at times but fuck me this is a painful joke.6
The CTO from the previous company where I actually liked my tasks messaged me this morning. I asked him what's up and I've received no response yet.
So many thoughts running on my mind. Would he hire me again? If so, god damn it, I am down. I would leave my current one in a heartbeat.
Did I fuck up big time in my earlier work and now he's hunting me down to sue me or some shit? It's a dumb thought but who the fuck knows?
Please let this be good.15
In my office, it requires security clearance, but the office is sooo fucked up it takes months to get it sorted
So, now in the position of people knocking at doors, annoying you at your desk to take your pass, often for large periods,,, leaving me sweating when im dying for a piss
WTF is going through MGMT heads,
Of course im sitting next to the fucking door, so when u sitting down to do some nice code, fucking knock on the door,
And wouldnt mind but its the same fucking Wagon who smokes, pisses and chats on the phone like its a God damn super power, as i type this im looking over my divider and they're rolling yet another fucking smoke!
I need out of this fucking 7th ring of Dantes inferno hello hole1
Okay...not a rant. But my boss's boss is amazing! I've been with this company for about a year, and every time my lowly ass needs permission elevation to do something, I have to practically beg. And then I get elevated one little permission at a time. I have a presentation to the board on Tuesday, and all damn day it's been one network permission problem over the other. It's become insulting that I'm the only team member that has to beg for permission scraps. Today, they take me out to lunch and when I get back, sends an email and copies me on it basically instructing that I'm to receive near-God like permissions on the network. Quite an honor for being everyone's junior by like 20-25 years! I feel like I'm about to receive an Infinity Stone or something...best day ever!
You have a meeting with a really really important client who is a typical client from hell who constantly changes his mind about everything and then blames you for “not getting things done” and always says “this is not what I asked for” every god damn time.
Anyway, he now jokingly asks you if you think he has been a troublesome client and before you have time to answer he continues the meeting.
What do you do? Do you suck it up like a weakling and disappear up your own asshole or do you tell him what a monster he is?5
writing a whole god damn function in one single line doesn't make it "one liner" and it DOESN'T make your code better and more readable!!!1
I was searching for a good answer about a problem I got. Found an existing thread on stack overflow.
Many answers, all of them upvoted but not working.
One answer being not upvoted was working.
Wanted to upvote it, signed up to stack overflow.
"you can not upvote. too less reputation."
GOD, DAMN IT.2
Oh my motherfucking God...
How the fuck can a dumb IDE be so fucking slow? I entered the office at 8:15. And I am still unable to checkout a motherfucking previous version of an android app in git and get Android studio to build it, because the fucking gradle is so damn slow it freezes the GUI. WHAT. THE. FUCK. Android studio get you shit together and maybe, just maybe don't be such a dick!!!
You need 5 min to open that project and another 10 to build it ONLY FOR ME TO REALIZE THAT I HAVE TO REPEAT THAT WHOLE PROCEDURE BECAUSE I NEED A DIFFERENT APP VERSION FROM THE GIT REPO FUCK YOU YOU SHITFACED STUPID COCKSUCKING CUNT, SHIT FUCK ARRRRGH!!!
Edit: now it's 9:35 btw6
The new CTO promised us better coffee in his introduction meeting. Honestly felt pretty trivial and part of his used car salesman pitch to us.
A month goes buy and he replaces our shitty drip Starbucks breakfast blend coffee with ... Starbucks coffee machines. I shit you not these things have touch screens on them. So I tried two cups of each bean type and ... this stuff is really really bad. It's literally worse than the drip brew. It's so fucking terrible I have trouble finishing a cup.
God damn it!8
That job you thought you may not be a good fit, you end up at.
Sometimes as developers we doubt ourselves because we set higher bars for ourselves to learn more and try and build better solutions and share them with everyone.
You are almost as good as you need to be and you are going to be getting better, as long as you keep hitting the road towards your main goal.
But look at it this, isn't it the best of scientific communities?
Everyone is trying to improve and share more and make the ecosystem richer.
And open-source, fucking open-source, if there is a God, then he inspired the moral of open-source...
Anyway, congratulations for being among the best of scientific communities and damn I appreciate'yall!!1
FUCK mailing lists! Fuck them to death.
They're a barely structured, convoluted, piece of shit! I fucking hate them!
Oh look! 10 search results from a mailing list "archive" with the vague error message I'm receiving! Oh look! All of them are the same question that repeats as the email got quoted on the replies! Oh look! No information was exchanged just the equivalent of "hurr-durr did you try turning it off and on again?"... no wonder the communication abruptly stops - the author probably realized how God damn dense you have to be to use a mailing list post-2000.2
The company I work for used to be hosted on 3dcart. One day the site went down and their support couldn't tell us why. After over 24 hours of downtime they restored service but left 5 days of all records and customizations across the entire store, from the DB to the damn templates. Their support apologized for the outage blaming the disaster on a combination of hard disk failure and a bad update to their backup script. They were not willing to assist us in any way. We were forced to manually enter 5 days of orders (which gave them new order numbers and caused more problems), products and template changes, with order data coming from an internal email which was luckily CC'd on the order confirmation email. Thank God for whoever setup that CC, it saved our asses. In the end it cost our company thousands of dollars and 3dcart never composited us in any way.2
MySQL: 'the table does not exist'
I just fucking made the temp table dude, that's what you literally do in step 1 .... how could it not....
MySQL 'Records: 1 Duplicates: 0 Warnings: 0'
Me: "Oh there we g---"
MySQL: 'the table does not exist'
Me: "Hey you just worked!"
MySQL: 'the table does not exist'
GOD DAMN IT
MySQL 'Records: 1 Duplicates: 0 Warnings: 0'
Me: Uh you're working now?
MySQL 'Records: 1 Duplicates: 0 Warnings: 0'
MySQL 'Records: 1 Duplicates: 0 Warnings: 0'
MySQL 'Records: 1 Duplicates: 0 Warnings: 0'
Guess that API just needed breaking in....3
Ohhhhhhhh my fucking god.
I need to fix some damn commit that someone made in android.
What did he tought ?
Porting android 5.0 feature to android 8.1 is a good idea ???
I was like WTF for the first time i saw it.
The port consist of 3 patches but it throws error every time i try to compile it and well i firstly tought that it might be that my repos are outdated well it turns out they are Up to date.
So now i have 2 options:
1. Revert the damn fucking commit (Option i will probably use)
2. Finish implementing the damn feature.
Damn if you start something then fucking finish it.4
*turns on the TV*
*pop-up blows up in my face: "you have a new message"*
*confusingly presses "View"*
Msg: *Do you know why *some random shit show of a movie* is the most viewed? You can rent it in our video store*
YOU MOTHER FUCKING BRAINLESS ASSHOLES!!! I'M PAYING FOR THAT FUCKING SUBSCRIPTION! MY FUCKING MONEY!! MINE! WHICH I CHOSE TO GIVE TO YOU FOR A VERY SPECIFIC SERVICE!! DO NOT PUSH YOUR BRAINDEAD, GREEDY BULLSHIT ON ME!!! IF I'LL WANT TO WATCH A GOOD MOVIE I'LL FIND IT MY SELF! YOU ARE TO FUCKING RETARDED TO TELL WHAT A GOOD MOVIE IS!!!
GOD DAMN ADS PUSHING SHIT HEADED PEASANTS!!1
Email is horrible.
CSS in email is fucked.
People never check their spam filter / who the fuck knows when the spam filter might decide legit shit is spam.
Every other god damn day some new shit comes up.
Today some sort of either antivirus or email filter or spam / malware detecting shit seems to be crawling every fucking link in an email our customer's send to their customer's.
Activating every option such as declining shit or accepting it... well actually ALL THOSE OPTIONS.
End user can't tell of course so I (and others) have to find this out.
!rant GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!
I failed at a dating sim, how the fuck did I fail at a dating sim? They're designed to make you feel love and romance or some shit like that! The girl got hit by a car, almost died, got amnesia, forgot all about me and then presumably started dating me, but I don't know CAUSE THE FUCKING GAME ENDED!
*sigh* I have work to get back to.13
youtube's autoplay algorithm has made me discover some interesting gems on the internet.
but fucking damn it if it doesn't like to replay the same 15 songs you like. every fucking time.
like you know I like this band. SHOW ME OTHER SONGS OF THIS BAND GOD FUCKING DAMMIT. I KNOW I LIKE THESE 5 SONGS ALREADY.4
God damn it. I have not ranted enough this year. I need to ramp up my rant game. This could be my new years resolution.
Do you also feel dirty when a client asks for something that completely defats the purpose of the main feature?
yet you "patch " it because "it's a big client after all" and they can't be bothered to do a simple two number addition.6
There's nothing like the fresh smell of emails on Monday morning, soooooooo fucking many random emails, actually, 2,708 fucking emails, 99.9999999% are stupid useless logs or alerts that have no meaning to me, and yet, I have to setup outlook rules to filter out this shit.
Ah, another glorious Monday 😤3
90% of beginner questions are so damn annoying. I get it, some people are new and still learning but for the love of God, I just want to tell these kids to shut the fuck up, sit their ass down and WRITE SOME DAMN CODE, instead of bitching and moaning about what they best language is or how to magically read a tutorial and become a ninja in a day.
Joined a startup which does webscraping. I never knew that webscraping can be so much monotonous. I feel like I am doing a damn support job. Apart from that websites keep blocking the scrapers, and that is another thing to be fixed. jesus christ, non devs keep asking for ETA about how long would it take to complete a certain task. Thanks to remote work, I have been burnt out every day, and have been working for 14+ hours everyday!!!!! God help me!5
This bloated buggy piece of shit
This fucking piece of bull dick that runs efficiently as much as a legless cockroach this motherfucker thinks its offline even though its in the motherfucking browse screen and I have a 4.5g connection (this retarded cunt) fills space faster than a hot gas released in a vacuum chamber just to fix its goddamn internet bug I have to reboot my damn phone. I see so many damn bugs in this shitty app that I think they rolled back to the alpha versions sometimes if I had any other god damn alternatives (google music is not available where Im from fuck you too google) the only thing I would give them would be my middle fingers. It just fucking froze on me while I'm just trying to listen to my Retrowave playlist while I fucking get ready for bed FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU YOU RETARDED INFECTION FILLED CUNT I WOULD PUT A BIKE CHAIN ON MY DICK AND RAM YOU WHILE WE ARE TIED TO A CAR THAT DRIVES OFF OF A CLIFF IF YOU WEREN'T AN INCOMPETENTLY PUT TOGETHER 1S AND 0S6
GOD ALMIGHTY I HATE SWIFT & XCODE...
Why the fuck does it take a horrendous amount of time to muck about with layout constraints. Why the heck does xcode choose to add constraint layouts to elements that already have pissing constraints! Why does dealing with something as trivial as tables have to be so god damn fucking involved when HTML and CSS let me create and style tables in fuck all lines.
And what the hell is up with how pissing long xcode takes just to figure out that 1 extra line of code I've just added. You jump to another file and xcode finally decides to be an ide again and bitch at the fact that you've forgotten to add some parameter or that they've decided to rename paramter "x" since version fuck nows what.
Working with abstract classes is fun, lets use protocols (because interfaces are too old school) and then lets tack on something we call extensions and then lets make people piss about with convenience initializers.
And lord almighty, what the fuck is up with casting, what all this ?! BS. What's wrong with just checking if the value is null in the first place, or whats wrong with giving something an initial value, oh because having to unwrap shit is more elegant right??
And good god, I need to own a fucking cinema screen just to have the storyboard open, there's less fucking panels on the Sistine Chapel ceiling
then there is in xcode.1
we had a front-end dev that needs to "re-architecure" his codes when we need to add a small change or a feature.
and im like: wtf is wrong with your code and you need to re-architect it every damn time?!
PS: that dev is no longer with us now. thank god.1
Seriously? WHY THE FUCK, are there no English speaking, no god damn accent tutorial videos on YouTube regarding VLSI design, or hell even any of the fucken layout tools ... allllllll of them in very strong Indian accent .. OR not even spoken in English... the fuck folks? Some of them are “ok” to understand but I can’t get past the accent of speeding up and slowing down, and repeating the words and phrases, and then emphasizing shit like a question, but turning it into a unneeded statement, emphasizing the wrong shit... uggh I just wanna pull my fucken hair out.
Americans either are keeping VLSI knowledge a secret.. or nobody who fucken speaks English knows wtf they doing.. and that’s scary.15
Fuckin RAZER. Part 2. "SOLVED!!!"
This will be both a rant and a shout out.
Firslty, fuck RAZER. I don't who in the actual fuck makes the software for these peripherals, but while the hardware is decent the entire software team should be tarred and fucking feathered. Just beaten bloody with a rubber hose. And then publicly paraded and shamed through whatever backwater shithole they call home all while their mothers look on crying their eyes out.
Anyway, some of you may be familiar with my Razer peripherals on Mac saga.
To refresh your memories... I got 4 razer devices for my b-day from my wife. I was very stoked. They work great on Windows 10. They work for shit on Mac and the software to manage their colors, Synergy 3, is not available on Mac, and the version that is, Synergy 2, basically does not work and hasn't worked for like two years and would only work for two of these peripherals anyway and it would appear Razer does not give a shit. Fuck.
Ok, we caught up? Good.
In our last episode I ran up a full Windows 10 VM AND a full Debian VM just so I could jumpstart these god damn peripherals into a solid color.
Why so much work?
Because by default they rotate the color spectum fucking SEPARATELY... so it's just a god awful mess of rando RGB.
So, by running Synergy 3 on the Windows side, and then an open source package called Poloychromatic on the Debian side I was able to patch together preferences through the two programs... and I found quitting out of them hard kept the keyboard, mouse, mousemat, and dock color settings until the next reboot while working on my Mac.
For WEEKS I WENT THROUGH THIS FUCKING PROCESS AT EVERY REBOOT.
Reboot. Run up Windows 10 VM, update Synergy 3, log into Synergy 3, Open Synergy 3, Wait like 90 seconds, Synergy 3 finally fucking gets ahold of my mouse pad, mouse, and dock (not the keyboard).
Run up Debian VM (at least its fast), start polychromatic, set the keyboard solid color.
Then quit them both and my colors are set until reboot.. This is, for lack of a better turn of phrase, the most fucking ridiculous thing ever.
I had to do a 400 fucking megabyte update today for the Synergy 3 software that lives INSIDE my god damn VM. A VM only created in the first damn place to run synergy 3 and then fucking die. And it put me over the edge.
I committed to finding a better way this evening. I started looking into trying to port polychromatic to macOS my god damn self only to find this badass mother fucking kid Ken Chen wrote a whole god damn macOS package and put it up on GitHub.
Fuck fucking YEEEEEESSSS!!!
So thanks to Ken Chen, a student from Australia with 12 Github followers, who was single handedly able to write a better software product than the entire fucking team at SHIT FOR BRAINS fucking Razer.
Made an Aprils Fool joke to my boss, at 1 am on April 1st when we were working late. I planned to freak him out by saying I would quit.
- "There's something I have to talk to you about and I know it's a day late..."
(He understood by then it was a resignation at this point, he looked very sad and interrupted me.)
- "If it's just about money, I'm sure we can figure it out..."
(I felt so bad, I just wanted to prank him. So I told him I just April Fooled him, Winther taking it any further.)
A few moments later we had laughed about it, and I thought to myself: "Did he really wanna give me a huge raise? God damn it, I should have kept a poker face!!!" 😣🔫3
Why the fuck these managers can’t understand that you can’t build a full blown system with in a week. After building a demo driven application to show the client you can tell the client we are fucking ready to launch the damn thing . I FUCKING MENTIONED BEFORE GOING TO THE MEETING ITS NOT RELEASE READY GOD DAMN IT.
Now when I say we can’t launch this app we need to fix things . THE FUCKING MANAGER HAS THE GUTS TO SAY “one day is enough to fix the issues right ? Shouldn’t be a big deal for you to fix this” .
Kill me now 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬7
Fuck it all to Hell today. I'm cutting into my mostly night time Xanax script at noon.
My boss just made my coworker remove his own copyrighted photo from our Trello board for internal development. The board is only used by the two of us for internal projects. He thinks that our C-level execs would get onto him, not my coworker, for us having a fucking photo of the Boston city skyline on our own, internal, never fucking seen by anyone but us, Trello board. It has fucking animated gifs from Giphy on it, but my fellow dev can't use his own god damn photo as the background.
We're a fucking marketing department for home building materials not a blog using Getty images without permission for fuck's sake.
Then on top of that fucking Cache rules are fucking up on Drupal views and a webform decided to just stop fucking working for submissions after about 26,000 successful ones and it corrupted the last 500 or so in the process.
Oh and fuck Varnish.4
3 REWRITES, 3 GOD DAMN REWRITES. Just decided that A* Path Finding Algorithm looks nice and felt like sure lets have a go...
3 REWRITES to get it right and even then there are minor bugs, sometimes coding is my passion, other times I wish I didn't know how to turn a PC on :/2
Build a docker image.
Adds config file .
Build cache ignores new contents.
Hours of trying to figure the shit out.
Bash into it.
GOD DAMN DOCKER HAS CACHED THE VERY FIRST VERSION OF THE FILE.
Hours lost with headcaches and thinking about existence. Fck my life.9
I was working on a new feature for this legacy project.. Just minding my own buisness then all out of the blue I got an email from our client (before the email I exported the live database because I needed to reproduce a weird bug) saying the sync stopped working
The database needs to sync every 15 minutes because it has a master-master relationship with a 3rd party database..
So I was like shiiit! Did I do that!? So I checked the logs, nothing... I called the 3rd part to check if they have problems, nothing.. Then I checked the network logs... Again all fine... 30 nervous minutes later, I got a new mail... Saying it finally synced... Still have no clue what happened or if it ever was a problem... God damn clients man...
I hate it when FOSS projects don't put a link to the repository on their website.
I don't want to search through fucking GitHub, GitLab, or BitBucket to hopefully find the official project repo.
Or search every page on the site for a god damn link.
Just put somewhere on top.
Everytime I have to use this fucking language it spits up some other bullshit error
`cannot convert std::vector<int>() to std::vector<int>&`
WHY THE FUCK ARE STACK ALLOCATED VALUES EVEN THEIR OWN TYPES
AND WHY CANT I TAKE A GOD DAMN REFERENCE TO IT
Had my junior test at work yesterday, and...oh boy. I don't think I've ever been so stressed in my life.
>inb4 "welcome to the real world kid"
Yeah yeah I know but god damn, this was too much. I heard from seniors that you get used to everyday stress, it comes with the job, but junior test ( aka "stress test") is the breaking point for most "new" arrivals.
The test itself tho is not even that hard. Dealing with so much stress and time pressure for the first time is what gets you. Not knowing what happens if you don't pass certainly doesn't help.
I broke down at one point and even after finishing, going home (got no sleep) and coming back today, that feeling of hopelessness is still there.
No real point to this rant, I just needed to vent6
qberry1 [2:54 PM]
routers need to go on the technology list of shitty tech
qberry1 [3:04 PM]
working on a rant
may post it on devrant
Here is a list of technologies that I hate.
Can we not make a printer that isn't a POS? We've been making them for years and they still suck.
It is supposed to be convenient, but it never pairs when you want it to. It is always when you are driving and dont have time to mess with it that it doesn't work.
See above for details.
Can we not make a router that lasts longer than a year?
trying to think of more shit
lquessenberry [3:05 PM]
God Damn Laptop Hinges
On anything but MacBooks
qberry1 [3:05 PM]
what a load of shit
lquessenberry [3:09 PM]
Yeah fucking 48 bit napster mp3s sound better than Satellite radio
qberry1 [3:09 PM]
if i wanted to hear music that sounds like ballsack i'll go download it from napster
lquessenberry [3:09 PM]
qberry1 [3:09 PM]
lquessenberry [3:10 PM]
Fuck it dude, copy paste this convo as the rant
Oh dude and fucking self serve checkouts. Fuck that shit.
God damn it! I have multiple exams that I need to study for, but can't because of my headache that I have had for two weeks now... My mom finally forced me to the doctor, and apparently I have gotten a severe case of migraine... no devices, no books and no lights allowed until it gets better.
Worst part? The exams are next week, and I havent been able to study, not even one page out of hundreds...
Guess who's retaking them this summer... döda mig 😞
Signing off from all tech now until it gets better..4
Windows being like... "60secs left! Nonono wait it's 50mins! Aaah i wanted to say 10. It's definitely 5 now, i am sure this time, 16 is correct!"
God damn it stop wasting computation power for this boolshit and copy faster instead!!!4
What seemed like a simple task of upgrading our angular project and adding universal to it, is slowly beginning to feel like an impossible mission.
I fucking give up
Seriously fuck reddit. I just wanted to post a fucking Question but noooo you must have Karma to post it. Your account has to be old af. Which dickhead designed the god damn karma system???? I'll never try to use that fuckin platform again, the user experience is horrible and their official app is absolute trash. It's slow and buggy, even a fucking 12 year old can code a better client.
Argghhhh I am angry15
I get really fucking mad, when people show termux and boast about "aai yuse leenox"
Use the real god damn GNU/Linux. If it is not available for your device then PORT IT! Like i did..13
So the universe is determined to fuck with me for no other reason than the fact that I exist.
I managed to get 2 dates with 2 different girls (obviously) for next weekend.
And now, Australia is going into lockdown: No restaurants and shit.
So far, I am still laughing about the whole situation but now I am faced with either calling it off (which sucks because this lockdown can go for 6 months) or find another way to meet up.
I'm tagging this as a question to see if you guys have any ideas.
As for this fucked up universe... if the parallel MrCSharp is somehow watching me from the parallel universe that has a good 2020 going on at the moment, can you please like take me to your 2020.. that'd be fab.
Oh.. and my office is now fucking closed and forced to work from home. No more gym too..
god fucking damn it...33
yeah I am a software engineer.
yea I am a programmer too.
yeah I am behind my laptop all the time..
but no I don't want to fix your computer.
I have no interest in changing your windows, installing antivirus on your pc and so on..
just understand it , God damn these shit people :(
I really need to get my shit together. Can't even begin to describe what's going on in my mind right now.
God damn I'm gonna rip anyone's ass who so much as came within 5 meters of me.
Few months back, my dad's colleague dropped his (my dad's) phone and broke the screen. She was a low pay nurse, so my dad didn't ask for compensation. Instead of repairing it, it would be a better deal to get a new phone altogether, so I got him one on Credit (I didn't have cash).
Now amidst all this horseshit 🏇 in my own office and this pussy of a boss, and my hobby of learning coding and trading stocks part time to make a little extra money so that I can help dad with home loan repayment, I forgot to pay the credit bill.
Had to pay $25 as late charges. Motherfucker.😣2
Rails. Fucking rails...
God damn monoliths, built by a cowboy coder.
Every one I have ever worked with becomes (or already is) a house of fucking cards that will blow over at the slightest gust of wind.
The worst part is that you always hear the same justifications from rails developers, then after they convince the higher-ups that “we will build it right, not like those other monoliths” we find ourselves F’ed right in the A a few months later.
It’s this frustration that lead me to MUCH better paradigms like Microservices, Event-Sourcing, CQRS, Domain Driven Design and the like.
When someone says “our backend is in rails” my first response is “so when are you replacing it?”8
"The best programming language is C++ because games were made with it" OH MY FUCKING GOD JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Do you guys get this unbelievable dump statement too? I could punch every person who ever said dat 😑 Not is is absolutely wrong, C++ isn't even a got language! It's painfully FUCKING slow!! Why the fuck do people say something before they get their freaking brain to work! 😑😑😑
I FUCKING HATE ARGUING WITH THOSE PEOPLE. THEY NEVER ACCEPT OTHER OPINIONS.
GOD DAMN IT!35
Overhears colleague say 'Ohh there's a plugin for that'. Few weeks later i find the dumb fuck added it to the codebase and not use the dependency manager. I'd happily shoot the senior Dev who peer reviewed it but looks like this pleb merged straight in!
With a codebase overflowing with duplicate frameworks and unused jquery plugins I'll be burning the god damn place down come next week!2
GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!!!
so it seems that instead of windows updating and restarting without user consent, now they ask you every few hours to restart your pc and install ''The newest windows features''. It's insanely annoying! And why the fuck am i receiving updates every single day, sometimes even few times a day. This is way more annoying than windows updating itself every now and then.
Get fucked !!!!!! (whoever thought this is a brilliant idea)4
Every god damn time I have to interact with windows I hate it more and more. I sold my old Dell PC, and said I'd install Win10 on it for the dude.
It's now been 2 hours of me trying to figure out why the Win10 installer complains about missing drivers, and trying to figure out exactly what drivers are missing, because they sure as absolute fuck don't tell you.
"A media driver your computer needs is missing. This could be a DVD, USB or Hard disk driver. If you have a CD, DVD, or USB flash drive with the driver on it, please insert it now."
Well how the fuck am I supposed to know what driver you need? The least helpful error message in the history of computing....12
I've every been a Arch Linux fag. It's my main OS from 5 years. With a small parenthesis of two months of FreeBSD recently, I've used before Arch Kubuntu, Ubuntu, Fedora KDE, OpenSolaris (randomly), CentOs, plus a lot of others distro for tests.
But I've never tested Debian!
So I've installed it on my small server.
Oh... My... God.... It's fantastic. PACMAN >>> apt, but damn it's really stable and out of the box even if minimal. A very surprise. I think it can be my favorite remote Linux for a long time....
But a question rises. Why with a father like Debian... Ubuntu after the 11.04 is such a shame? The last I've tested is the 12.04 I think, but I've hated it, and I hate it even now. (Crash, driver not found, apt problem, very heavy repos and my internet sucks, UNITY, etc...)
Ubuntu, what happened to you ...? With Kubuntu 8 you were such a good guy...4
GOD DAMN IT COLLEGE YOU DID IT AGAIN. for real college can go suck Satan's 50 inch red cock for all I care.
A professor asked me to design a processor and I'll get a bonus. I said okay cool nothing hard.
oh but it has to be in verilog.
oh and it has to be on this fucking ancient useless piece of shit called xilinx that the fucking college provides to you only via a fucking 50 gigabyte virtual machine.
sigh. okay..... challenge accepted.
It fucking crashes every 2 minuites. And after 3 days of no sleep. I finally finished the Alu, Control unit, 4k memory, 8 registers and the busses.......... BUT THEN THE ENTIRE VIRTUAL MACHINE CRASHED AND LOST ALL PROGRESS...... fml.
and the professor only gave me the bonus for the Alu. sigh. fuck college.12
Update to https://devrant.com/rants/1415880/...
After numerous emails back and forth my colleague finally came to the conclusion that the customers WSUS is responsible (i might accidentally forgot to mention that in my original mail, oops :) ) but also blamed one of my other colleagues for enabling deduplication on the servers so he can't reliably tell wherever a hard drive is full. (??!?)
But anyway, no beeing sorry for him beeing wrong and impulsively blaming and disabling my scripts, because of course he's not.
I really god damn hate this guy. Were it not for this beeing devRant with a focus on devs i'd have a lot more stories of this special snowflake.1
Ok, a customer came to us saying he had a product that is just randomly rebooting. It sure must be a software issue.
I got the task and worked my way through ~10k lines of assembly code (8085 processor on board) Weeks go by, i tested every single god damn funktion they had, analyzed every vector they put in, finding NOTHING...
Meanwhile the hardware department analyzed and tested some possible culprits on the product for me. I had NO idea what the problem could be...
Then hardware department said: oh, they forgot a resistor on the FUCKIN RESET PIN OF THE PROCESSOR!!!!!
Am I the only one that wishes that YouTube to either:
-becomes a separate company from google (because, god damn it. Its the only app thats keeping me from going gappless or use microg)
-gets replaced entirely with something not related to google and actually respects the creators1
Can we just stop to appreciate how god damn pretty and well crafted the webpage for this library is?
I may be a semi-competent grunt but if theres one thing I appreciate, one thing I know *when I see it*, it's when someone takes the time to make a really gorgeous presentation.
One of my favorite UX examples right there.
Right up there with the design of Deadspace's UI.
What have I been working absolutely all fucking day? FUCKING PRINTERS. I am so fucking tired of printers, everything to do with the stupid pieces of shit.
Then, some fuck stain has called me 6 times in the last hour trying to get me to drop all the things I’m doing and make him priority #1... Even though it has nothing to do with the computer and everything to do with the lack of fucking skills he has to preform his god damn job.
For fuck sakes, FUCK OFF!1
Some avatar around here just reminded me of the bazillion Europeans living the hipster life in India (I interned there).
context : In India fair skin is a very desired feature, every face washing product has "whitening" on it, god damn it even the shaving foam!
So they tend to treat white people very distinctively : free entry and alcohol in clubs, lots of money in media gigs and the like, strangers inviting you to their marriages just because you're white..
So some white folks would abuse this. And they develop some kind of clothing taste that's weird to say the least.
Maaan they must be trashier than the fucking original hipster God.
I just can't fathom their ways..
Sorry I had to lash out 🙄11
Fucking Windows Servers, I just wanted to set a login timeout of a few minutes after several unsuccessful login attempts.
(Windows Active Directory for Domains and shit is installed - just an FYI (otherwise this would be slightly easier))
- Go to Group Policy Management
- Navigate to your domain in a policy tree
- Right click "default policies" and select edit in the right click dropdown.
(Why not just fucking double click and edit it them in the convenient right-side window? Because fuck you!)
- Navigate another god damn policy tree
(And it's not obvious, it's under Windows Settings... Ok that makes sense, but there are so many nests.. Fuck me)
- And only now can you edit the "Account lockout duration" field
Windows Servers are a pain.. This actually isn't completely horrible, but it gets really annoying, because literally everything here is hidden in weird places behind thousands of click navigations and in between that there's some shit sandwhich UX.1
god damn tabacco addiction is a son of a birch 😣😫 everything feels so boring and unsatisfactory without it6
I am so fucking tired of sitting here all day every day adjusting paddings and margins. Oh fucking hurr durr you got one of the millions of fucking elements to not overflow on your page, well does it work on *this* resolution and *this* orientation? No, well fix that and then go back and fix what it breaks.
I swear to God I never want to touch fucking CSS again it's all I've done for a yesr and it is driving me up the god damn wall. This is my career, I shouldn't fucking dread coming in to work because I know how much bullshit I'll have to deal with. It's awful.
I don't get how anyone has good looking complicated pages that just look good on every possible resolution, it's fucking mind boggling that anyone can sit there and adjust heights and widths and paddings and margins and floats for hours on end nonstop just watching shit get broken and fixed and broken and fixed and AHHHHH
I need a fucking smoke and a pint just so I don't have to think about this anymore13
"Our supplier asks that you double the number of php child processes for this fpm pool"
"Are you aware, that that would lead to about 100% of memory overcommit, taken the current limit of 128MB/child, and that if a lot of them started at once, the system would probably go for OOM-Kill, which would most probably kill your database, that still runs on 100% MyISAM tables that do not support transactions, and you'd have to kiss your data integrity goodbye, right?"
"Uh... Nevermind then"
I get that some people are not IT-versed, but really... Hire someone who knows what they are doing and doesn't live 20 years in the past, god damn it!
Can some drone operator please end my suffering existence?
I just got on a bus from Berlin to Munich (8h trip) and apperantly some fuckwits thought it was a great idea to destroy the GOD DAMN FREE WIFI. ONLY DRUNK ASSHATS COULD BE SO STUPID. I need a podcast to sleep well but since I already used up my mobile data volume, I'm stuck in here, surrounded by idiots and lost to the world.4
Spent 2 hours wondering why Unity Engine sees my 2 joysticks as Joystick 1 and Joystick 5 (or 6 depending on a UBS port).
Turns out, for some reason, Unity remembers ALL the ports that were ever used (even with the usb extender). That's documented...exactly nowhere. Ok, at least I figured that out, but what am I gonna do about it? Nothing, there's no way to change the order.
So after a quick nervous breakdown, and a cigarette break, I decided to build and run the game, just to see how it looks, and...what's this?
Everything's working! Unity removes all the joysticks from it's array and puts only active ones in the right order and that too is documented...NOWHERE!
Ugh... Unity I still love you, but god damn, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!!!
Needless to say, this day is an emotional roller coaster.1
Fucken clock stretching.... seriously ... if you’re gonna clock stretch me for any more than 3ms (which is still pushing it) just fucken NACK me so I know your not ready god damn.... it’s fucken i2c .... stop with the application i2c bullshit... I just want to read the fucken registers stop abstracting it put it on a god damn DMA..
clock stretching is why we can’t have nice things lol12
So here I am trying to Code a Rick Astley video on my website so 2 people can watch it in real-time but the code KEEPS DOING THE PART THAT I SPECIFICALLY TOLD IT NOT TO DO UNTIL I GET THE TIME FROM THE GOD DAMN DATABASE!!!!2
It booted, after months of working on a god damn simulation with various BIOSs revisions and fixes, with millions of kernel builds and a million of fixes of recipes. It booted from a first try. I almost fainted :D3
Apart of the fact that WordPress itself is one big hack, my most creative hacky solution was making it (dev) environment friendly.
First, I created a DB pull and push tool in NodeJS (on TypeScript). Then, because WP is so clever and stores internal URLs in full length in the DB, I had to create a DB migrator (find & replace) and attached it to the DB pull task.
After this, of course WP still has its config in one file, so I used composer to install phpdotenv and filled the config with environment variables.
Bundled with some good ol' Gitlab CI/CD magic, the website is now 10% sanely developable.
It feels like having to shovel piles of shit, but with a golden shovel. Everything stinks as hell but at least there is a tiny bling to it, temporarily.
But in all seriousness: WordPress is a god damn fucking pile of tumors!3
god damn it c++, you and your ambiguous, contextual grammar!
currently working on a c++ and c parser, went from trying to use a parser generator to now writing a parser by hand.3
I've decided to switch my engine from OpenGL to Vulkan and my god damn brain hurts
Loader -> Instance -> Physical Devices -> Logical Device (Layers | Features | Extensions) | Queue Family (Count | Flags) -> Queues | Command Pools -> Command Buffers
Of course each queue family only supports some commands (graphics, compute, transfer, etc.) and everything is asynchronous so it needs explicit synchronization (both on the cpu and with gpu semaphores) too4
So I have a semi big project ongoing:
Because my modem+router combo sucks dick and gets buttfucked to much I want to make my own Router with PPPoE.
So I ordered an 8 euro used switch, 24ports for management, but our IP TV provider is sucking cock too! He uses multicasting to send the fucking IP TV signal. So the switch is not VLan ready and so the network will be flodded.
But that's not the worst...
I don't know how to route VOIP over QoS correctly... So I just hope that part work's!
I also ordered another network switch Wich is manageable + an God damn networking closet. 80 bucks gone again! Wish me luck this works better...
BUT THATS NOT THE WORST BECAUSE NOW COMES THE HEAVY PART!
I wanted to use my old AMD Athlon X2 64bit and 4 gigs of RAM PC to be my powerhouse of the router. I plugged it into the wall, booted, screen error... Thought it might be the integrated graphics card... Unplugged my old one, inserted it.... AND IT WOR... NOPE NOPE IT DIDN'T NOW MY DAMN MOTHERBOARD IS FUCKING FRIED TO DUST BECAUSE OF THE GOD DAMN ... I DONT EVEN KNOW! AAAAA
So I thought I could temporarily use my raspberry pi one model b, a good fellow with multiple years of usage! I plugged in the sd card into my girls laptop, wasn't at home, and her God damn internet downloaded that shitty raspbian (sorry raspi but your servers sometimes are very slow) and after the download I realized her GOD DAMN SD READER DIDNT FUCKING WORK!!!
SO I GUESS I WILL WAIT!2
Windows piece of shit mother fucker useless trash.
Why can't I just compile without the dumb ass "Antimalware Service Executable" having to check every single fucking file and eating fucking 4GB ram. God damn it. fiadsfleaf oaiehjf afpo jafj
I start compiling binutils and then the whole thing fucking crashes ad;adsfjhc odshfaj;sdl hfja;odsfh;osa dhif;aosdhfi a;osdihf;skdjnvba; dsjch;soduf;dsao fu;nodjf ;anaod11
Since gitkraken is turning into such a bitch, I've searched for alternatives once again, as usual none of the competitors still implemented a fraction of it, after so much time.
Sublime Merge looked promising, but then half the time fucks the history graph, fails to remove remotes and more funny stuff I don't want to mess with.
Github Desktop I didn't even try because it didn't seem to have any proper history graph to begin with.
For now ended up on sourcetree, though I really do miss having commit message and description be two separate inputs, have done the most basic merge for now, so it's a to be continued experience.
Mostly afraid of how it'll show merge conflicts and commit view, as from what I gathered it doesn't fullscreen when you click a commit, but instead shows an awkward small screen at the bottom of the graph split further in half with the avatar and commit message.
Edit: oh for fucks sake, just noticed it doesn't even have linux support, god damn it.24
FUCK! I've done this a fucking God fucking damn million fucking God fucking damn times fucking before! FUCK! FUUUUCK! FUUUUUUUUUCK!
The best part is that someone is going be paying me once it works............................... FUUUUU K!2
Dear every app developer or web managers/designers that can read this.
Specificly, the ones who own a android app.
If you have an old android app that is still updated from time to time.
Please, take your time for just one minute.
AND REPLACE YOUR GOD DAMN OLD "Get it on google play" BADGE WITH THE NEW ONE, PLEASE! ITS NOT THAT HARD, WHY ARE YOU GUYS NEVER UPDATE TO NEW LOGOS?!
NOT JUST OLD APPS, EVEN SOME BEW STARTUPS ARE ACTUALLY USING THE OLD BADGE, WHY OH DEAR GOD WHY! WERE YOU LIVING UNDER ECLIPSE ROCK OR SOMETHING?!?1
See this absolute bullshit right here?
This fucking cunt of a problem designed by some dippity-do finger-painting fucking jackass at google doesn't work why?
Because for some *god damn reason* they decided it would be a good idea to setup it up in a way that when you use absolute cell references in a formula, you can't use functions in the formula too. No the other side has to be a literal or cell reference apparently.
HIT THAT MOTHER!)#%Y!)!!! BREAKPOINT!!
God damn it, it's in Release configuration again.2
Today is productive day and amazing day.
Finally got my fucking WireGuard VPN on my VPS set up. Pain but damn its fucking worth it. Oh god i love it already.
The speed against openVPN is crazy. Im not kidding its near double.
To anyone running openVPN. Throw that shit fucking away and set up an WireGuard VPN. You will thanks me later.
Oh yeah and its like much much more secure then fucking OpenVPN.4
So my day started well.
I come in an the DVR monitor is not working, ok lets turn it off and on, nope. Lets turn the DVR on and off, nope still nothing. Played around with the VGA cable, nope. I cant replace the cable because its hard wired into the monitor....
I grab the spare screen next to me and connect it all up and it works!
Boss tells me to throw "broken" monitor out, I say I want to test it just to make sure, connect it all up to my pc and now it fucking works!
There are days I hate technology....1
Technically not andev rant but fuck it. This pusses me off no no end.
PC gaming as I used to love it, is ending.
E3 for pc gamers was a death march. With the exception of hitman and just cuz 4, which are both more of the same. Don't get me wrong, I'll play them both because they're good fun, but look at the PS4 lne up. Control, Anthem, Detroit and more, all NEW IPs.
Meanwhile over in PC world we get the 50th billionth Battle Royal and (surprise) another JC.
I couldn't even being myself to finish Origin (WHICH WANT EVEN A GOD DAMN ORIGIN STORY)
I'll have to get a PS4. I just LOATHE playing FPS with a controller.
Oh, yeah, and a new fallout. With one mode. Which is great because it means I get to be fragged and tea bagged by 9 year old Asian kids..6
Dreamed about fixing an unsolvable bug in some code that made absolutely zero fucking sense and woke up with a fucking migraine.
Nobody wants to maintain XSLT mappings. Being a developer, even I don't want to. So what do we do? We parse the XSLT using JAVA code in a horrible attempt create an excel with mappings. God damn it!!1
Lua users, have you used moonscript?
It's a little language that has it's own interpreter or can be compiled down to Lua and it's absolutely lovely (currently using it with Love2d).
Of course, as with most things, what I love about it also royally pisses me off sometimes.
For starters local has to be declared for variables, unlike lua.
Otherwise the variable goes to _
Also note, that some tutorials literally tell you the opposite.
all variables are local by default
unless you don't declare them
then they go to _ (throwaway)
Some tutorials get this wrong too.
all variables have to be declared local
except tables. failure to declare a table WITHOUT a local will cause things like
table.insert to fail with "nil" values for no god damn reason.
No tutorial I could find mentioned this.
Did you know we call methods with '\'?
By the way, we call methods with '\'.
Why? Who the fuck knows.
Does make writing web routes more natural though.
Variables in the parameters of new are declared and bound for you. Would have loved to know this before hand instead of trying
to bind to them like a fucking idiot.
Fat arrows are used to pass in self for methods.
Unless you're calling a method. Then you use backwards slash. This fact is unhelpful when you're a beginner and dealing with the differences between the *other* arrow, the backslash, the fat arrow, and the fact that functions can be called with or WITHOUT parenthesis.
And on that note..
While learning all this other shit, don't forget parenthesis are optional!
Except when they're not!
..Like when you have a function call among your arguments and have to disambiguate which args belong to the outer call and to the inner call! Why not just be fucking consistent?
But on the plus size, ":" is now used for what it should have been used for in the fucking beginning: binding values to keys.
And on the downside, it's in a language thats built on top of another language that uses it for fucking *method calls*, a completely
different fucking usage.
And better still, to add to that brainfuckery thats lost in the mental translational noise like static on a fucking dialup modem, you define methods with the fat arrow. Wait, was that the single arrow or fat one? Yeah the fat one. Fuck. But not before you do THIS shit..
yeah, you STILL include the god damn colon just so when you're coming from lua you can do a mental double take. "Why am I passing self twice? Oh right, because fuck me, I decided to use moonscript." It's consistent on that front but it also pisses me off.
A lot of these are actually quality of life improvements disguised as gotchas, but when you're two beers in to a 30 minute headscratcher it sure doesn't fucking feel like it.
Nevertheless, once I moved beyond the gotchas, it was like night and day. Sure moonscripts takes a giant steaming dump all over the lua output, like a schizophrenic alcoholic athena from the head of zeus, but god damn, when it works it just WORKS.
Locals that act like locals? Check.
Sane OOP? Check.
Classes, constructors, easy access to class methods, iterators? Check, check, check, check, check.
I fucking hate ceremony. Configuration over convention is for cunts. And moonscript goes a long ways toward making lua less cunty.
If you've ever felt this way while using lua, please, give moonscript a try.
You'll regret it, but in a good way!6
FUCK YOU EMOJIS! FUCK YOU AND YOUR EVER FUCKING GOD DAMN SPECIAL WAY OF BEING HANDLED.
Now that I have that part out...
I really fucking hate emoji at this time. Currently I'm working on one of my projects that has markdown support. One of the things I'm extendending the parser with is github style emoji (eg. :smile:) now this part works great. The problem however is getting that short code into a unicode char for HTML. And at the same time I have to take any unicode emoji inserted into the text box by phones and stuff and convert them into the shortcode (My database does support emoji but it's much nicer to store all emoji with the same standard)
All of this has taken 5 hours of research (needed a database of unicode -> short names) and several hours of converting the data from someone elses json into something I can use. (AKA Shrinking the damn file to only what I need) and now I've spent 5 more hours working on the actual code. And I still don't have it working properly.3
It just took me 5 freakin hours to get the god damn upgrade done ... just to see that I've to do it again because I didn't use the latest back up ........... fml
god damn it No-IP, I've opted out of these email lists 10 fucking times already. this shit is so annoying.2
(colleague) Are you still using Emacs?? why don't you use Sublime instead?
(me) Because I am a PERVERT and I god damn LIKE it (being pervert & Emacs)2
Hey there poweramp user, do you like the simple interface that you've been using for the past few years?
Do you like your high-res lockscreen album art?
FUCK YOU. We are changing all of that with our newest beta update and we're not even gonna have an option to use the old interface.
Also enjoy this nice zoomed in 100x100 album art in your lockscreen
(I actually like the new design but it god damn bothers me that the album art res is so shit)1
In reference to https://devrant.com/rants/2340071/...
I feel like the elf on the shelf.
Maybe I need more elfpussy at work.
I mean, while at santas workshop. These workplace benefit man, just aren't cutting it.
Ms. Claus just ain't doing it for me no more.
Half chub is best I can do. Fedex won't ship little blue pills to the north pole this time of year. Doctor won't prescribe any more either. Says "you have a problem john."
No shit doc! I ran out of my god damn dick pills and have to code my little elf fingers off in order to make MurderSimulator 9, VA-Denied-My-PTSD Claim DLC Game of the Year edition for Santa's evil subsidiary, Activision.
Chinese sweat shops got nothing on north pole gulag elf slave farms!
People that dont use slack threads.
"Yeah, lets use slack, it is much more organized and will improve structured conversation"
And then they never fuckn use the god damn CORE feature but dump their replies into the channel like monkeys throwing their shit around everywhere except in the place the shits supposed to go.4
Fuck you Firefox and your shitty debugger.
Why do you try to be so different, to the point where you make the error messages obscure?
Google the error message I get in the Chrome debugger - hundreds of results.
Google the error message I get in the Firefox debugger - I can count the results with my fingers.
Just use the same error messages god damn it.
P.S: Also, why is there no fucking option to open an image in a new tab, like in Chrome?1
I was in charge of updating the dependencies on a microservice we have. Everything was at least 3 years old. Nice. How bad was it gonna be?
Jesus Christ, I have never felt so wrong.
A certain dependency I will hide under the name w******js allowed custom functions for a feature that accepted three arguments: paramA, paramB, paramC. The old installed version, 1.x.x, did what was intended, but for some dumb reason, 2.x.x calls the function with paramA as paramB and paramB as paramA!
It took me a god damn while to find out why shit wasn't working as expected. Who thought this was a good idea?3
God damn it, if you (libGDX) have default values for public methods then make those constants public. Now I am writing wrapper and I either create my constant with same value as your private one, or do some reflection black magic which will probably break after obfuscation. *sigh* Going with my copy of the constant, not happy about that...
Video conferencing apps:
Competition is great. It just sucks when you have to use all the competition.
Things I want to be able to do:
- Test Mic and Audio before joining the call, BOTH DAMN IT (some do do this, some just one or the other).
- No fiddling in settings to do test / change settings. I want to know / test every damn time before I join ...
- and it would be great if it forced everyone to test too ;) (obviously some complications there if folks are joining and don't intend to talk)
Things I to see all the time on the app, don't hide this shit, and GOD DAMN IT DON'T AUTO HIDE IT:
- Is my mic muted or not.
- Is my mic broadcasting sound or not.
I've been lucky enough to not have any terrible dork ups using these apps but man they seem to invite it by hiding stuff.5
I wanted to accomplish new things today.
Instead I'm swimming in:
"This worked before"
- No it never worked that way, you want it to, but it never ever ever has done that thing NOT EVEN CLOSE.
- Wtf is the god damn 'thing'? How could anyone possibly know what you're talking about? How do you go about life like this?
"How come we can't make it do X?"
- Because the code can't read your god damn mind, that shit isn't in the database, you don't update it and your laundry list of minor fixes for one time or non issues has resulted in you getting coded into a maze of stupid custom code so deep you're NEVER GETTING OUT!!!!
"Is your timezone before or after our timezone?"
- I DON'T FUCKING KNOW, I JUST TOLD YOU MY TIMEZONE, DO YOU EVEN FUCKING KNOW YOUR TIMEZONE?!?!?!? IF YOU CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO LOOK UP YOUR FUCKING TIMEZONE I SURE AS HELL AM NOT!!!2
You know what I've noticed? I've been applying for jobs lately, and it has occurred to me that most job postings for software developer require proficiency in a framework instead of a language.
Do these people even know what the fuck they want? If I know the fucking language then I can pick up the god damn framework pretty damn quickly
😠 Fucking douche bags!
... 😧 ok I'm done1
Whoever came up with the idea that a chat application should make that god-awful, annoying, high pitched, ping sound, second in annoyance only to a mosquito buzzing in my ear; every time someone sends me a message, is destined for the seventh circle of hell.
Yea I'm looking at you IBM. At least add in a damn mute button for your application. I spent 10 literal minutes searching for a mute notification sounds button in the settings screen, which looks like it was designed in 1990 btw. Found jack.
So thanks to you lovely people, I have to mute my entire laptop and I can't listen to songs on it anymore.2
Sitting 3h in a bullshit claiming and blaming meeting called 'refinement' as 'the tech expert' while PO and customers fight how stories and bugs should be priorized and importantly enough they discussed why the god damn bugfix isn't alive yet that was promised to be deployed this morning.. I was up to deploy it right the time they said I really have to go to that meeting... Yeah.. Business as usual
When an answer in SO has more upvotes than the question, has so many comments, and has so many explanation, so many code, and so many links, IT HAS A HIGH POSSIBILITY THAT IT IS A TROLL.
God damn i hate when programmers don't have any humor, and leave a comment saying
TROLL. PLEASE STOP THIS. FUCK
Good thing, devRant is full of people who HAS humor. Thank goodness.
tl;dr gone off topic
My computer started crashing two days ago. Logs say its the audio driver. Now I wanted to start the diagnosis just for fun. Guess what? The conclusion of it was: You have a low volume level, we will increase it by 20%p... GOD DAMN. YOU HAD ONE JOB TO DETECT THE DRIVER IS OBVIOUSLY CORRUPTED (Reason: Unknown)1
God Damn Privacy Regulations
New terms of service for your account
Sigh...if i we're EU citizen it would be for the best, except for those businesses that can't bother to update but I'm not even EU.
Email filter activated!2
Worst architecture: the stack compiler I wrote. I basically just made my own shitty webpack.
The idea was simple: Babel to minified JS, Scss to minified CSS, and HTML to minified HTML. Made in Node JS, of course. (perhaps that’s where I went wrong!)
The thing works... and I use it... but boy is it bad. It even broke on my current project (which is for a client so...) and I’m having to work around my own god damn code.
I really need to revisit it and redo it.1
People who speak in puzzles during code reviews - fuck you! Just say what you want to say without being philosophical about it. Want me to change the name of a function? Let me know, instead of ranting on about some other shit. I should not have to ask you twice for every god damn comment what you mean, you prick. It’s just annoying and a waste of time.4
Me: Ok i could do this in a litt--- wtf, this code is a god damn abomination ... I could just sort of do the thing and leave this or ...
Also Me: Fuck down the rabbit hole I go to make this a better place than when I found it....
Later Me: God damn why I do dis....2
I fkig cry when a fkig pdf book of fkig 420 pages dont got none pages numeration so i gutta memorize the fkg page number and fikg write that down in my god damn notes yo who even does ths
Also since i dont got none fkig 2 hours of fkig waiting time to post another fkig rant ill write it now
I fkig love breathing air💆♂️
god damn it, your a grown ass fucking person. Why the fuck can you not be mature enough to stay on slack during business hours?! GAH!!!!!!!!4
i hate it when comedians smile too much.
it's like they are trying to pander or something. Or compensate the lack of material or humor
God it's so awkward because they smile as if implying that they are funny.
It feels like they are trying to hypnotize the audience into thinking they are funny.
Or as if they were your friends, I don't know what it is, but it's fucking awful.
Isn't smiling back is an evolutionary trait? Marketing folks like to brainwash people with their smiles so there has to be some truth to it.
But the last damn thing I want marketing to corrupt is stand up humor.
Just count how many times jerrod carmichael smiles. Or kate mckinnon.
God fucking dammit, let me decide if you are funny.
You can have good material with meh delivery, but not the other way around, I'm not a fucking baby laughing as a reflex, I can understand sentences.12
A colleague of mine:
God damn, my application is racist.
Answer: It doesn't see enough white.
Who in their right mind would do this / think of this....
Salesforce has the option use their API. Either via SOAP or Rest. At my work we currently use SOAP and I wanted to rewrite that to Rest. Fine, you would say.
Their Rest API uses oAuth, nothing fancy you would think. But those motherfuckers, per default have the option enabled that the refresh tokens you get via the necessary API calls are being marked expired the moment the API gives them to you... Then why the hell give them in the first place.
It took me 2 hours of my life to figure out, why in godsname all my refresh tokens were marked as expired. Fuck you Salesforce, I want those 2 hours back! God fucking damn it... I really fed up with this type of bullshit!!
DEAR NON TECHNICAL 'IT' PERSON, JUST CONSUME THE FUCKING DATA!!!!
Continuation of this:
So essentially my theory was correct that their concern about data not being up to date is almost certianly ... the spreadsheet is old, not the data.... but I'm up against this wall of a god damn "IT PERSON" who has no technical or logic skills, but for some reason this person doesn't think "man I'm confused, I should talk to my other IT people" rather they just eat my time with vague and weird requests that they express with NO PRECISION WHATSOEVER and arbitrary hold ups and etc.
Like it's pretty damn obvious your spreadsheet was likely created before you got the latest update, it's not a mystery how this might happen. But god damn I tell them to tell me or go find out when the spreadsheet was generated and nothing happens.
Meanwhile their other IT people 'cleaned the database' and now a bunch of records are missing and they want me to just rando update a list of records. Like wtf is 'clean the database' all about!?!?!?
I'm all "hey how about I send you all records between these dates and now we're sure you've got all the records you need up to date and I'll send you my usual updates a couple times a day using the usual parameters".
But this customer is all "oh man that's a lot of records", what even is that?
It's like maybe 10k fucking records at most. Are you loading this in MS Access or something (I really don't know MS Access limits, just picking an old weird system) and it's choking??!?! Just fucking take the data and stick it in the damn database, how much trouble can it be?!!?!?
Side theory: I kinda wonder if after they put it in the DB every time someone wants the data they have some API on their end that is just "HERE"S ALL THE FUCKING DATA" and their client application chokes and that's why there's a concern about database size with these guys.
I also wonder if their whole 'it's out of date' shit is actually them not updating records properly and they're sort of grooming the DB size to manage all these bad choices....
Having said all that, it makes a lot more sense to me how we get our customers. Like we do a lot of customer sends us their data and we feed it back to them after doing surprisingly basic stuff ever to it... like guies your own tools do th---- wait never mind....1
Why the fuck does it happen every god damn time???!!!?!??!! Oh look the 5(0) year old designer created an Armageddon (layout) and went on holiday but that's okay cause it has been already approved by our sweet project manager WITHOUT SHOWING IT TO THE DEV TEAM FIRST. Fucking this fucking fuck fuck! FUCK. You deal with this idiots, i fucking QUIT bitch bye.4
Fucking wonderful piece of crap :)
Next up: automatically capture errors triggered by employees with Sentry and raise Jira requests. "A button didn't work" isn't enough god damn it.
I need your thoughts on a privacy related matter. I find this fact being very provocative.
So, at work we use Gmail:
Person AB has email AB@company.tld
Person ABC has email ABC@company.tld
How is it that when you send an e-mail to AB, that ABC sends back a god damn Out-of-office, without ABC being in either To, CC or BCC?
I reckon that the mailbox AB is owned by said company, and ABC is the owner of all those accounts. But shouldn't the contents of such mailbox still be private in some regard? (At least until AB isn't in the company anymore?)
It's funny, as a customer said she got an out of office from ABC, while solely sending one to AB.. I noticed this a few weeks back, and I'm rather infuriated by the fact that there's a possibility that every e-mail AB reveives, also ends up in in ABC's box.
God damn it Microsoft Teams is the shittiest piece of conferencing software ever. The UI is not consistent at all, calls are dropping like flies, and it does this bullshit thing where if packets are dropped it speeds up people's voices which is annoying as fuck. Echoes are everywhere and does no background filtering so people are on mute when they're talking. Fuck you Microsoft for bundling this pos down our throats.11
so, i'm recording some piano music because i wanna make a digital album... two songs done today and then i realize:
I'VE BEEN RECORDING IN MONO!!
had to delete them both and start over; only had time to redo one of them in stereo today...
god damn it10
Does anyone know a semi decent printer available in Germany/Europe, for personal use that doesn't you a kidney and won't break after 7 months??
They're all so god damn awful it makes me want to pull my hair out.16
So I finally gave Drupal a try as my colleague is thinking pretty highly of it. Well I installed it, checked a bit... Then uninstalled.
Not interested in building websites that look 20 years old out of the box. Plus, it is god damn slow.
I'd rather build custom admins each time. I start to hate CMS systems, even if they can be pretty convenient sometimes.1
Been working on this project for the last 9 months, it's 1000 times bigger than the original spec, but the worst part of the whole experience is the god damn Microsoft Access database and migrating data from it.
Wanky encoding, references that aren't actually linked up, ID's that aren't unique, meaningless columns and table names.
Pushed me to the edge.
I'm currently sitting in a hockey arena owned by my city, they offer free wifi, and cause I'm privacy conscious, I try to download a VPN for my computer. The motherfuckers block the download under the vague "violation of use policy" bullshit. Even better, I read the ToS they give you when you connect, and it says sweet fuck all about prohibiting downloads. What the fucking fuck do you have to gain from me not using a god damn VPN. It just makes no god damn sense.3
I gotta vent.
I really really don’t like Microsoft’s “incredible journey” into open source. I have to use their shit at work, I have to use it at home. Why the fuck the do they have to control every god damn thing and hold IT people hostage. Holy fuck it is so bad, and it is systemic. As if corporate/marketing gives a flying fuck about open source. It is bullshit. Prove me wrong.5
if (!rant) Fuck oranges
It's about time we make some God fucking damn things fucking God fucking clear. What the fuck does programming have to do with fucking non-programming?
Honestly. Fucking fucks pretending to be fucking programmers (probably not you, but fuck off if you're one of those fuckers.) FUCK SUCH PEOPLE FUCK YOU FUCK FUCK fuck FUCK!
There. Now that's out there. Leave fucking programming to the fucking fuckers who fucking know some-fucking-thing fucking ab-fucking-out it. If you're learning, ask questions, without you there'd be no fucking future for good fucking programmers. But if you're a fucking fuck fucking ducks in the fucking park--fuck the God fucking damn the fuck OFF!3
So I've spent all day chasing around this issue for a coworker who was trying to help a client with a new report they were deploying to their system.
Now I learned a couple of things today because of this. Due to moving buildings, our new network completely broke our report server because the DNS can't resolve it's name. Since we're rewriting this system from the ground up, I haven't been majorly concerned about getting this fixed, but with this coming up, being persistent, I'm glad I figured it out. IT did give us a static IP for this VM, but they never bothered to add a DNS entry for it, so for the past couple of months, this hasn't worked for some reason, and now that's why.
So the root cause of my issue can been seen from 2 directions, the dev of the report, and the dev of the UI that reads it. The dev who wrote this code originally is checking very specifically for 'asc' and 'desc', meanwhile my mans who wrote the report has his order by with 'ASC' where he needs it.
(MAN, THE PREVIOUS DEV WAS GREAT)
I'm glad I was able to help him, but god damn, that took all day, AND TO FIND IT WAS A CAPTIALIZATION ISSUE, AAAAAAAAA FUCK ME
Fuck++ I C only red error messages which make me god damn furious. Why is it such a pain in the ass to ./configure this stupid external lib to work on Windows on MinGW and Qt Creator? Why can't I just pip install that crap and import from a single line of code instead of getting fucked several hours without even realising what's fisting me that hard?
You are penetrating me C++. I'm not happy with that. I can't figure it out cause the docs are crap.
Just add the path to the libs they say. Just add the include directory they say. It's damn easy they say.
You know what? IT'S A FUCKING PAIN IN THE AS I SAY! DAMN IT.
Ffs. I thought I never had to touch development for ios devices anymore but I was wrong.
The god damn piece of shit hybrid app build in apache cordova works perfectly fine on android but guess what, after signing that pile of crap with xcode it won't work on ios because somehow that retarded os forgets to listen for click events on a simple fucking button which is used to activate the app.
Had to create a virtual machine with osx and wait for xcode to instal, sign that app only to figure out it won't work..
Even after seaching google for 3 FUCKING HOURS there are still no FUCKING RESULTS.
I'm done with the entirety of apple and all their products.
Fire the teachers who don’t know anything about CS except out of a guide. Make it about CS. Also update the god damn information taught + plus tools used to learn CS.
Another thing is to let people start learning at a early age, not forcing them but atleast offering the option. Like let’s say in Junior High instead of High School.
Seems kinda retarded but it should be trivial to reference a ListBox in a SelectionChanged event doing something like SomeListBox.Items[someIndex] = new TextBox()
in order to replace a simple textblock element with a textbox element that accepts input (replace-in-place), but it's proven to be the most long, aggravating series of unnecessary convoluted bullshit I have encountered so far.
And when I do something like ((ListBox)e.Source).SelectedItem = new TextBox(), nothing break per se but I get no god damn error or feedback, as if it worked, but nothing fucking changed.
I can only assume I'm fucking retarded or like most of the shit coming out of microsoft, WPF is a broken pile of bullshit.
I'd ask on here but every time I ask technical questions I never get any fucking answers. Like a ghost town around here sometimes..11
I have spent the last 2 days on the phone trying to get support for certain issues...
It is universal that all support lines are complete garbage. Shitholes for stupid people to get paycheques.
I have noticed that this task has actually had a negative impact on the emotional state and it upsets me further that I have allowed this.
I am getting a virtual assistant to handle this because frankly, my time is too valuable to be consistently wasted by stupid people delivering no results.
"I am a software engineer and have tried all the normal debugging techniques"
"Did you try restarting it?"
"Yes, that was the first thing I did..."
"Well, would you mind doing it again"
"Yup... It did not work"
5 minutes of silence...
"Have you tried the next step that you already read on our support site"
"Could you try it again for me?"
I am literally listening to someone who is reading the god damn support page (and reading it at what seems to be a 3rd-grade level) GREAT!!!!
Simply the fact that i didn't started my dev carreer earlier because of lets say reasons which costs me 7 years of time which on one hand gave me a whole lot of experience across some fields but god damn it sucks being near thirty and still being a student while other friends are already leading teams and working on million euro projects -.-
First post and of course it's a rant.
I work for a mid sized development agency with approx 50 developers heading up the main development backend team.
So, on this one project the head of design goes through the client agreed spec but starts adding loads off additional UI elements and data that isn't in the spec, isn't collected anywhere and isn't needed
When reviewing the mock ups I raise this and push back saying it all needs to be taken out as we dont have that data and that the additional elements are not recoverable in the sprint time.
Designer sends the mockups to the client anyway and gets sign off from the client, who now expects all this additional work in the same sprint and at no extra cost to what we agreed for the sprint.
After an aggravating day trying to figure wtf we are going to do, I end up working until 3am (having started at 8am the previous day) implementing the addition shit, which needed to be collected and surfaced throughout the entire back end.
Owner of the business walks in this morning and gets told by the management team about how late I was working and what had gone on.
Pay for all employees in the business to have a takeout lunch on the company.
Best of it all, I was so busy catching up on the shit I should have been doing, that I didnt even get my free food!!!!
Why do designers think everything is so simple and just takes a few key presses?!?1
.Net Dev here with a degree in graphic design. Almost 9 months into my first dev job, 85% of it has been dealing with god damn webforms. Unfortunately, sometimes it doesn't play too nice with a bootstrap / jQuery especially with code behind and when you have post backs. I never thought I would say this but fuck the front end lol at least when it come to this dumpster fire. At least I'm learning a lot but damn I can't wait to get back into an MVC project or service work.1
God damn stupid piece of shit Glide library doesn't work for shit. Who wrote this garbage? I did everything correctly but the fucking image still doesn't get displayed. Does it have a problem with png images?! Can't it fucking download a small image from the internet? How could someone write something so incredibly stupid???
*forgot to add internet permission to AndroidManifest.xml*
Oh, now it works. Hey, this library is actually pretty cool.1
That feeling when you find the god damn bug after 2 hours.. however, it made me better understand my code, so thank you tiny bug❤
Just saw the system76 thelio line.. God damn!
It may cost a shit tonne more than building your own but that case is almost worth the extra2
I hate moving parts in headphones... Why can't they atleast make them out of metal. I mean do you really need to make flimsy ass tech to make people buy more of it ? Well that gave me a good idea the headphone drivers and lads are still usable i might hook up a new headphones out metal !... Nah i will just buy a new one (god damn you companies and smart business policies you win again)2
One letter story:
This is going to be weird--do it and we'll see how far we can go without going completely insane.
Whitespaces is one single comment, so is symbols such as the period sign. Be creative--use ampersands and quick way of writing longer things.
The rest of the rules go the same as for my previous rant. I'll write the first comment, then we COMMENT THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF THIS GOD DAMN FUCKING RANT!17
"OMG I DON"T SEE THE NEW THING YOU SAID WAS THERE!?!?!!? OH GAWD WHY WHY WHY!!!!"
"Oh never mind I found it."
God damn people, put some minimal effort in before you fire up tickets and emails or whatever.2
Basic requirement of every Data Science college internship:
1) 2-3 years of experience... God damn it
2) Research and publications...(yeah right! in 2 years of college in which you taught me how to "work with" C on Turbo-C... I should have god damn publications... Well worked my ass on and have 2, but guess what campus internships says.. " no fucks given man", solve those damn segment tree question first then we will talk)
Its an infinite recursive while loop
"Microsoft programming chief to devs: Tell us where windows hurts you"
You must be kidding, right? Since Windows 10 it hurst the moment it is installed on my fucking PC. I don't want those fucking cloud functionality on my fucking PC. If I want it, I would work on a Mac FFS!
Let me decide when to update my god damn machine! Even with a fucking enterprise edition it is not possible the way I want it! Yeah, I don't have to login with a Microsoft Account, but there is always a small, little, Microsoft-Hating-Devil in my Head telling me: "Who knows, if they don't sync your clipboard even, if you don't login with a Microsoft Account?" (Cloud synced Clipboards are the next bis shit coming!!!)
There is not much left, and Linux will be my all day OS (second boot atm).4
None of the networking people want to handhold the company VP during the all hands meetings (several thousand people over Webex's high volume broadcast service), so they all fumble around when they get in there.
The company owner rage fired someone in the networking team for screwing up. He has done stupid shit like this all the time.
It's one thing if it was some other time. Right now, firing someone, especially without review or for something so trivial, should be a god damn human rights violation. I've lost total faith in my company's management.2
Anyone else suffering from CWE-126? (Buffer Over-read)
I'm struggling to find the right solution for fixing my issues with string operations.
Here's the Codacy report for those who want to see: https://app.codacy.com/manual/...
I'm creating more issues than fixing it. God damn it, C.3
Trying to update yarn from choco.
It didn't detect npm-lts
Got BS by install npm 9.8.0
Nothing is working right now 🤦♂️
I wanna go to gym. But it's 1clock past midnight right now.
God damn it1
From the spec: "if the initial value is omitted, the first value of the array is used instead and skipped"
WHO TF THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA!?!!?!
One freaking hour that stuff cost me today RRREEEEEEEEEE
Please and thank you!7
For the love of God, I cannot find the motivation to learn calculus. I'm like 1-2 weeks behind schedule on it and the teacher is probably gonna start giving out assignments soon, but I can't sit down and fucking study. It's not that I don't like math, I just don't like studying. The only way I study is when I'm pressured by an assignment/test deadline, that's how I always did it, but now I'm in college. I'm not studying just to get a passing grade, I need a fucking A and, above all, I need to learn the damn thing. But I can't find the patience to study without the threat of getting a low grade, so I let everything accumulate and then learn everything in a day or two, just enough to get a B+ or something like that. I'm hating myself for that, and I have to fix it asap. I guess I'll try studying again tomorrow...9
spent 3 days at internship looking for a bug that's stopping the program from running correctly all the way though
5 minuets before i have to leave I change a single value up 1 increment just because I've had it with the program and for some reason works perfectly just how I want it to SOME GOD DAMN REASON I DON"T KNOW YET
Today is just about me going through some reading for the next step and trying to figure out why the hell that worked1
I did just talk with a client because they tried to analyse some data we send and they fucked up. the client told me they can't fix it because they cnat access the data because they have a divious virus. xD you're the god damn IT department of a pretty big company. wtf? really how?1
I spent the whole day of yesterday trying to install the windows anniversary update after a clean Windows installation. Every time i tried to update it would go through 30% completion and then... BSOD, claiming that i didnt had a boot device. WUT? Anyway, after 5h of research and no success, i created a bootable usb installer and tried to install Windows 10 Education (which is my license). After the 1st restart... Error: Windows could not complete the installation. OH GOD WHY ME? After another hour i figured it out. Somehow i needed to install the version Windows Home and after the installation update to Student. DAMN WHAT A DAY...2
Was absent minded this whole day, sorry if my answers took long / were out of context @ the meetup.
I was poking why a bona fide DB import didn't work...
VARCHAR(254) COLLATE utf8_unicode_ci GENERATED ALWAYS AS (LOWER(...)) VIRTUAL
MySQL 5.7 to MariaDb 10.5 ...
After long hours of poking:
Yeah. It's the COLLATE statement. *narf*
I love SQL, but god damn it this stupid fscking frigging dumb platform and version specific behaviour is fucking annoying.
sed -Ei 's|COLLATE.*GENERATED|GENERATED|g' helps. Just takes a bit of time on an 75G sql dump. -.-
Took only 4.5 hours to find out.
But now test suites are crunching, looking good til now.... *sigh*2
VPN access expired on Monday, can't access any client systems without it. Have to wait until weekend before access can be renewed.
God damn. One week, can't do anything effective!
So, I have updated tslint and now I have close to a hundred warnings related to order of imports. 😔
I tried several tools for imports sorting, but none outputs it in a way tslint expects it to be. 😒
God damn it, I have to sort it all manually. 😩2
Most fun I had coding?
I was developing my first android app and the database accounted for all the weekdays.
It was a night and I was coding. I build the app after 90 minutes of last build. I was fucking amazed to see that my app was running perfectly on Genymotion Emulator whilst the same god damn build crashed on my phone.
As a new novice developer, I thought it could be due to the OS version difference b/w my phone and VB.
I went on to spent an hour or so, to figure out where I had gone wrong. I re-read my code multiple times and nothing. I could not find a single error in the code.
I was fucking speachless when it hit me, FUCK, today is Saturday (last build was around 11PM Friday) and VM's time is usually screwed (it was Wednesday there) and since I had not accounted for weedends entry in database, the app crashed.
It was really fun having this sort of a bug for the first time in my life. Solved it within minutes after that.
Two weeks ago we delivered four parts from a request containing about 30 minor developments to ease general every day operations.. this week my boss demanded a specified fallout report about how those cut our expenses and costs, how many percentage those four of the total amount of savings all 30 developments would save and whatnot.
ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME!? They've been in prod for ONE god damn week and the intended operations are not even launched yet! How about you go and CHILL THE FUCK DOWN!? I understand that whole part about growing business and getting it to stay alive, but you sir.. you.. GAAAH!!
A big development company needed summer interns, the job required java and the likes and it was the first big interview i've had. This wasn't a problem, i thought, until i got there. worth noting is that Im still in school and and the last time i used java extensivly was a year prior to the interview. I completly blanked on the, rather basic, questions. needless to say, I didnt get it.2
God I feel like an idiot :/
So for about a week, I had this problem with a C++ JSON reading/writing lib which was fucking annoying as all fuck.
Basically, the problem was that when I sent data to the server ( Yes this is a server ), rapidjson would call assert(false), which would crash the program. Commenting out this call would not stop the crash, as it would just call the same thing somewhere else.
The code I thought had the little bastard of a fucking problem was in the commandsManager class, which, did commands managing ( Shocking, I know ), the only code which used the json lib in there was legit fucking copied and pasted from the docs.
I think you can guess that the problem wasn't in that fucking class, it after I had called a function in it in the main method, which didn't check if a very, very, VERY fucking specific member was there or not, but it tried to access it anyways. That caused the fucking crash
I had wasted a holy FUCKING WEEK ON THIS FUCKING BUG AND I WAS LOOKING, IN THE WRONG GOD DAMN FUCKING PLACE!!!1
Fuck maven. For fucks sake. If you want to install something in js project, you do yarn add ... and shit works. If you want to install on linux you do apt-get ... If you want to install ANYTHING on windows in fuckin 2020 you download it and it has an .exe.
But not maven. Oh nooooo. You need to do all the bullshit with configuration, set shitty paths and just pray for someone to shoot you.
Don't punish me for Windows. It's a God damn corporate policy not my sane choice...33
A customer has this project that smells ... like it could be not fun.
They're doing business with walmart (actually a walmart satellite company, even worse).... I've seen this story before. They're super excited, they're seeing $$$... seen it not work out so many times.
Anyway they're having us rush out these forms and documents and so on and I can see there's a lot of data that is going to be required missing.
My contact is super peppy and happy and so sunshiny that my concerns are going over her head... she just sends emails to people, like FW, RE RE ... this is gonna be a mess of last minute / 'where is this?!?!?!' kinda work...
Granted I work at a good place, this won't have any blowback on me... but god damn guies listen to coder guy that the data that will be needed isn't there and there is a SHIT ton that I'm pretty sure isn't ... anywhere.
Any fellow devranters in the pytorch udacity scholarship?
Damn,i was so excited for that,but it started 5 days earlier and now here i am , too busy to even start the videos. God i am gonna watch them after waking.
eBay's APIs make me want to cry.
Take the sandbox for example:
- Every time you log into a session, it logs you out.
- When you create an order (eventually!) and want to retrieve it, tough shit it doesn't feel like doing that today.
- Functionality both exists and doesn't exist at the same time on both the LIVE and Sandbox APIs. I don't know how they've managed to get quantum computers in their server room, but their GOD DAMN API LIBRARIES ARE NOT THE BEST USE CASE FOR QUANTUM COMPUTING!!
I don't know if I despise eBay or Magento more...
Software engineering teacher gave me a bunch of topics to elaborate on. One of them was "the idea of black box testing", so I wrote down the idea of black box testing.
Teacher - this is very incomplete, you did not specify what types there are and for which systems they should be used!
Me- But it just says "the idea" and I did write down the idea of it
Teacher- yes, but it is very incomplete
God damn I wanted to punch her face. Some fucking teachers1
God damn it! I've already bumped your limits to 5x the initial value! What the fuck you you want again!! Piss of you WMI-retard-host!14
Practicing some random code interview questions while not busy.
Find top N values with MaxHeap in JS
Didn’t get it right in 1st try. Something wrong with the replace function. Then started getting busy...
At the end of the day, still didnt have a chance to fix it.
Working on sidebar css to make it nice and all.
Saving file and looking it through browser, didn't look well.
Changed css, saved, looked again.
Same god damn ugly sidebar!
Deleted css code, saved, refreshed.
THE SIDEBAR STILL THERE.
5 minutes just stared code and looked for bug.
After few moments, found that I had linked wrong(old) css file.
*went full mad*
#i am stupid(cats)
God save WPF our savior against stupid writing cords and deadlines!
Now seriously its god damn good :D im not talking about Visual Studio, which takes huge chunk of my SSD (thx Microsoft), usseles parts of it (notifications inapp etc.) and a lot of .NET frameworks!
Gave Windows VM 8Gb of RAM just for the fun o it. It ate all of it. Sure allocated it but still 4Gb usage after start. WTF windows ?
Also god damn performance sucks in Windows VM. Due to being on HDD. If i put it on SSD its OK but well dont have that much space TBH.
BTW i can have 4 VMs run with 2Gb RAM each and still have no issue on CPU side LUL.
AMD is awesome for this kind of stuff.
Ouuu yeah and its laptop.1
Fuck. I just realized that because I picked Firebase for an SPA I was making for a client a year ago, I will need to keep updating the damn backend forever. Node 8 has reached EOL in the end of 2019, so Firebase has deprecated it and will *remove support* for it in 2021. Ok, I updated the app to work with node 10. But what happens when node 10 gets deprecated and loses support? Am I going to be forced to update the project once again so that it can keep running? Have the people at Firebase heard of backwards compatibility?
The reason I chose Firebase in the first place was because I wouldn't have to deal with servers (stuff like that scared me back then) and because it was free (client likes free stuff, of course). Had I picked a simple Express + MongoDB combo I would be able to deploy the thing when I was done and just leave it there forever, at the cost of ~$5/mo on DigitalOcean. But no, I was scared of the unknown so now I have to live with the shitfest that Firebase is. Fucking hell.
Disclaimer: I would not use Express and MongoDB in a project today, I have outgrown JS backend (thank god) and I prefer the safety of a relational DB.6
God damn it, Gatling. Why didn't you put your fucking command line argument passing at the front of your docs instead of being buried under 'cookbook'? It's not a fucking recipe! it's core mother fucking functionality! "how do I run this command-line utility from the command-line by script?". "I don't know, maybe I should check the fucking cookbook since apparently it's not basic functionality that LITERALLY everyone using the fucking product will need!
So now I have to go back and parameterize one of the sims I've built AFTER I've mimicked our entire performance test matrix! FUCK!
Found this on my class's Quizlet group for the web design test.
*Now look at the photo*
USE CSS GOD DAMN IT! THIS ISN'T 2003.
It's also about FOUR WEEKS INTO THE SEMESTER AND THIS IS ALL THEY LEARNED.
well, at least theater tech is a class next year, so I don't have to take this.1
When a person asks what do I do I tell them that I'm a cyber wizard.
It explains it well doesn't it ?
God damn muggles...
Onboarding with a company I've worked for and realized that this entire enterprise is NOT remote friendly. If I didn't still have friends in the office, I'd be screwed...
Example 1: Day 3 I got my passwords. Go to access company email - need 2FA. Alright, go to request 2FA... oh, the link I need is behind their VPN. Which requires 2FA to access.
Example 2: Company laptop can't be logged in without domain access... need to be on (here it comes) the company VPN. I HAVE TO ACCESS THE VPN ON MY LAPTOP, THEN PATCH THE OTHER LAPTOP IN AND HOPE TO GOD I HAVEN'T VIOLATED A COMPANY POLICY, THEN SIGN IN ON THE COMPANY LAPTOP AND INSTALL THE VPN PROVIDED THAT (GOD WILLING) I HAVE ADMINISTRATIVE RIGHTS ON THE MACHINE (WHICH I ALMOST DEFINITELY DO NOT)!
This is why, when I was traveling for this company previously, I didn't bring the work laptop. By some divine providence I had decided to upgrade RAM in my personal device before I started.
I love working for these guys, and the team I'm doing work with is by far the best I've ever worked with. But god damn their ITSec pisses me off - these are the same guys who disabled RDP via Remote Desktop and TeamViewer(and apparently at the protocol level too), but leave Chrome Remote Desktop and SSH wide open. I don't get it!!!2
God damn it wpf I just wanna bind an ObservableCollection<string> to an itembox and then have textfields inside that item box that modifies those strings and have the modifications stay there https://imgur.com/a/Un2nk9V !7
Sometimes I wonder how long it will take for society to stop starting every. single. conference call with "Hello? Helloooo? ... Can you hear me? I can year you!". Like it's a semaphore tower, or a shortwave radio communication to the dark side of the fucking moon.
I mean... what the ever-loving fuck. This technology has been around for 20 years now, how is it still so god damn broken, inconsistent and unreliable that we actually still all do this?
I'm sure after 20 years even Antonio Meucci and Alexander Graham Bell were no longer starting every damn phone call that way. GOD DAMNIT!5
how bad is the collegeboard website? let's just say that after registering for an sat, firefox prompted me if i wanted to save the login credentials, with the username being my zip code and the password being my credit card cvv
like, how fucking hard is it for a national company who charges $99 per test that kids take every year to set up their fucking website properly
god damn, fuck college board
and yes, i am mad about a lot more than that one little thing
Always dismissed tools such as JSBin for no apparent reason. Gave it a go a few weeks ago, and god damn as I love JSBin now.
I'm currently working for 1month to win some money in a company that repair people computer and do a bit of programming.
They've made a software that get every value in a table with SQL and print it.
My boss, gave me as project to make a software that get everything from a database and copy paste it into an another, like a automatic backup system. BUT HE ASKED ME to do it from the last software with Delphi and on Windows XP...
God damn, now i have to remove everything about printing while i was just able to do the software from scratch with C#...9
Heres a truly vitrolic and unnecessary rant:
Package control for sublime is all well and good
through the command palette, but it's just
fucking retarded. How about you point me to a
FUCKING COMMAND to actually INSTALL A
MOTHERFUCKING PACKAGE YOU
Under babel plugin while browsing packages
"Find it as Babel through Package Control."
What fucking command? How do I "Find" it?
The browse command just opens my
motherfucking browser. How do I fucking install
your fucking packages you assholes?
"Use autocomplete" except your god damn
autocomplete doesn't list "install package"
for some god damn reason because everything
web is a broken pile of utter shit, built
on a more shit, like a leaning garbage tower
of bullshit waiting for the smallest mistake to
take down the entire house of cards like
someone removing a leftpad on npm.
Maybe specify I have to enter
"install package" and THEN hit enter, and THEN
enter the GOD DAMN MOTHERFUCKING package name
on a separate god damn line for
some fucky reason.
Next time don't make a tool that breaks
motherfucking conventions. It's bad enough
every fucking look-at-me-im-smart cunt of a
dev and their dog has to invent a CLI and
then go and invent a new domain specific
language too motherfuckers.
Next tool that breaks convention around me is
gonna see the dev lit on fire.
fucking uppity cunts.
"Say thanks" the site say. I am not
feeling fucking thankful at the moment.
The least you can do if you're going to
contribute to open source, is not make things
actively fucking worse, least of all in the
FUCK count for this rant: 19 / 50,
RANK: RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC
0-5: GENTLE AS A LAMB
6-10: ANGRY GOAT
11-15: NUN WITH PMS
16-20: RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC
21-25: CANTANKEROUS VIETNAM VET
26-30: BREAKING SHIT
31-35: DOMESTIC DISTURBANCE
36-40: BIPOLAR EPISODE
41-45: DESPAIR EVENT HORIZON
46-50: BROKEN CAPSLOCK
50+ : MIDLIFE CRISIS / MASTER GRAND WIZARD
OF RANTS AND ANGRY-WORD MASTURBATION.
If you prefer to cheat, you may also include any
cursewords in general, but be warned, you'll
never know the sweet taste of victory when you
achieve the rank of master grand wizard.
Like when you were a kid, and you discovered
gameshark, and all your hopes of finishing that
one game became but a ruthlessly hollowed out
husk, somewhere where could-have-been childhood
memories and nostalgia go to die like the
graveyard of dreams
(the same place officer workers souls go).4
So for one of my uni courses we're writing arm assembly. That's pretty cool. What's not cool is the shit textbook written by the instructor, the asshat elitists on every single fucking help thread, and the fucking garbage documentation.
But hey, maybe I'm doing something wrong. I mean, after all, you should need to spend 5+ hours to discover where the fuck you should place a label for a god damn binary constant. Oh, and once you've finally got code that'll link, good fuckin luck getting it to load the address of that constant in a register.
At least I have a good explanation on why those guys on the forums are such fucking dicks: Stockholm Syndrome.
this aint working for some reason. unless im missing something then im completely stumped.
can someone please tell me what’s wrong?
It’s an array of objects that im trying to turn into options for a selector with the id prop being the value and the name prop being the actual text but it keeps saying select.add or appendCHild isn’t a function. now im lost.
god i hate tests, i know they are needed but damn5
I hate those people that comment on threads saying shit like “just google it” or “oh fuck another [insert popular topic] thread we don’t need another one.” Fuck off. It’s an online discussion forum. If it’s shit content the mods will remove it, otherwise no one is forcing your sorry, lonely pathetic ass to stop scrolling, click the thread, and read the god damn post. Just fucking turn off your computer and read a book.2
God damn it!
Tried to use scipy's UniveriateSpline on some (x,y) coordinates that I have and it throws errors because I have multiple x values with different y value. UniveriateSpline expects all x values to be incresasing. Problem is I want to use these values, otherwise the result might be different than expected. B-Splines shouldn't be dependent on this condition or have I missed something in my studies? Documentation doesn't tell me anything.🙄
Fucking stupid spring-boot-devtools dependency !!!
Started work at 11AM and was working on a Rest API system using Spring Boot. Got to know about Spring Boot dev tools and added it to my project.
Later in the evening my endpoints started throwing exceptions for no god damn reason. Invalidated the caches, restarted my IDE and laptop. Rolled back my code to almost vanilla branch !!! YET THE ENDPOINTS KEPT THROWING RANDOM EXCEPTIONS.
This went on till 1:30 AM (I live in a country where work-life balance is not a thing for software developers :)). Frustrated, the last thing I tried was to rollback the devtools dependency from my POM file. AND MY ENDPOINTS STARTED WORKING AGAIN 🤬
What the actual ffffuhkkk !!!!
To all those who contribute to spring-boot-devtools, you guys are doing a great job and it isn’t a personal attack towards you (I really mean it). It just messed up my project in some way and I was extremely frustrated.
GOD DAMN THAT OLD BROKEN DATABASE.
Having to work with a legacy old database system running MySQL 4.0 is a pain. Especially when even finding a frikin manual for the thing is hard af.
And a cherry on top is dealing with encoding and collation in a system, that didn't really have a wide support for it yet.
10/10. At least I am only dealing with it so that we could later shut it down for good.1
Why does it take god damn long for iOS simulator to show up first time?
I have to wait for a minute or two before I can run it.2
God damn the android camera 2 API is a giant pain in the ass. First I got it all working on my emulator, then I thought "hey let's set how it looks on my fancy phone!.... Oh... Ok."..
So at much fiddling I managed to merge the Google sample with my requirements and got it working on my phone. Then I'm sitting in the train, fire up the emulator and to my surprise IT STOPPED WORKING ON THE EMULATOR AAARRHH!
anyway, it's working on my device which will suffice for now.
Now I'm trying to chop the video into images and... Wait... Google... What do you mean your don't support the Java media framework?!?
Oracle Identity Manger. It just feels soooo unfinished and its just so damn tedious to work with! My god. Should've created the whole thing ourselves instead. The time we've used to fix shit.. #meh
God damn sourcetree.
You already annoy to use, now i have to deal with this stupid thing eat up my work
All my local commit in last 10 days, gone. because I just change from HEAD branch to master branch. WHY THE FCK YOU REMOVE IT.
GIVE ME BACK MY WORK!!!2
Typescript is so fucking frustrating sometimes to deal with
The snippet above AND below do the EXACT SAME FUCKING THING. But because you double tap, it loses the fucking (not needed) type before the mapTo. If you aren't paying attention, you get this extremely fucking aggravating wall of red.
God damn it, can't this be better? RxJS is pretty fucking important, so why is this so god damned hard to just get some coherent fucking code highlighting!?
Me: God damn why don't some of these save to the DB or others do it intermittently.... is this a network issue or-
API (if it could talk): Yeah mean I don't get, it I mean this is what I sent to the DB.
Me: Wait ... "what you sent!?!?!"2
Argh, why the hell does Visual Studio not have a god damn LOCAL HISTORY for files (not just a VCS history) like any other reasonable IDE? Heck, even Eclipse has a rather decent one!
Now, I've lost the work of one hour due to an accidental reset, and there is no way to get it back!
Fuck you, Visual studio!
*Put random technology here* fucks me so hard. God damn it its so bad for my made up reasons. I did a fucking mistake at some point and now something of that falls back to me.. blah blah
God I hate blaming technology for your mistakes. Don't get me wrong, there is bad shit out there. But this random bashing is annoying.