Me if i was a game dev

This guy's face and voice annoys me so much. smh
"YOU KNOW, SHOULD JOIN THIS UDEMY COURSE"

alias pls=sudo

How to make your users love you 101 😂

After a long thought I have decided to quit my job and work on my side project😎
Who else is tired of these shitty managers who don't understand anything!!

Some empty-headed helpdesk girl skipped into our office yesterday afternoon, despite the big scary warning signs glued to the door.

"Hey, when I log in on my phone, the menu is looking weird"

"Uh... look at my beard"

"What"

"Just look at this beard!"

"Uh.... OK"

"Does this look like a perfectly groomed beard"

"Uh... it's pretty nice I guess"

"You don't have to lie"

She looks puzzled: "OK... maybe it could use a little trimming. Uh... a lot of trimming". "I still like it though" she adds, trying hard to be polite.

"I understand you just started working here. But the beard... the beard should make it clear. See the office opposite to this one?"

"Yeah"

"Perfectly groomed ginger beards. It's all stylish shawls and smiles and spinach smoothies. Those people are known as frontend developers, they care about pixels and menus. Now look at my beard. It is dark and wild, it has some gray stress hairs, and if you take a deep breath it smells like dust and cognac mixed with the tears caused by failed deploys. Nothing personal, but I don't give a fuck what a menu looks like on your phone."

She looked around, and noticed the other 2 tired looking guys with unshaven hobo chins. To her credit, she pointed at the woman in the corner: "What about her, she doesn't seem to have a beard"

Yulia, 1.9m long muscled database admin from Ukraine, lets out a heavy sigh. "I do not know you well enough yet to show you where I grow my unkempt graying hairs... . Now get lost divchyna."

Helpdesk girl leaves the scene.

Joanna, machine learning dev, walks in: "I saw a confused blonde lost in the hallway, did you give her the beard speech?"

"Yeah" -- couldn't hold back a giggle -- "haha now she'll come to you"

Joanna: "No I already took care of it"

"How?"

"She started about some stupid menu, so I just told her to smell my cup". Joanna, functional alcoholic, is holding her 4pm Irish coffee. "I think this living up to our stereotype tactic is working, because the girl laughed and nodded like she understood, and ran off to the design department"

Me: "I do miss shaving though"

Testing done right! 😂😂

Me: "Inherits a project"

Me: "Reads code"

Me: "Mom, pls put me back to kindergarten, I just wanna color drawing books again"

Let's work on my my side project after work.
Oh, a cold beer
Oh, Netflix
Oh, it's past dinner time.
Fuck

The joy of Monday

Me and new guy are working on something. We're both in different countries.

New guy just graduated a couple of months ago. Thinks he's better than us, egoistic, refuses to accept his mistake. Cannot work well in a team and arrogant. Basically a package.

I fucking spent 3 hrs trying to look for a bug in my code, which doesn't exist in the first place. Because he's a lazy fuck and refuses to even accept that he might've made a bug (evident from the fact that his first reaction was to blame me and second reaction was to verify his code)

And he doesn't have the decency to admit that he made a mistake.

What's even more sad is that I've to babysit him cuz he's incompetent.

It's fucking obnoxious.

"Pics or it didn't happen."

-- Me to testers

It's finally here!
I love this little thing!
Let's see what I'll do with it... I planned on making some games but for now I will probably just use it for playing old retro stuff