When you changed a logic structure but the tests still pass.

*Executed maven build*

Me: What's this "no tests found?"
Senior: Nevermind it's not important. Just check if your code works.

Meetings

When a senior programmer told you they're done implementing the feature but don't know how to write the unit tests

Took down banking application on production server.

Insufficient food which caused many of us to go out to find some. Unfortunately most shops are closed on weekends and I ended up went home and continued my hack at home.

Use regex, they said. It's better, they said.

Found this on Facebook.

Back in 2008, I had a colleague who often smiles and giggles while looking at the screen.

Sounds normal yeah? Except there's nothing on the screen but Eclipse, a Java IDE.

When a client told you how easy the feature is and he could've gotten a cheaper price from other developers but prefer to let you do it.

It saddens me to see there are developers who are driven by high pay over interest and passion for programming.

Couldn't say it better myself.

Read. Learn. Implement. Repeat.

Providing work estimation:

Dev: This should take about 2 weeks

Non dev: Really? But it's so simple. Shouldn't be that long right? I think it can be done in one week.

*After one week*

Non dev: Why is it still not done? I thought you only need one week?

Being told that we'll be dropping Spring Framework in favour of Java EE.

Well, all right then.

Sprint review being used to hold discussion instead of showcasing what has been done.

Co-workers who are totally independent and the only time we talk about work was during retrospective session.

Hit into NullPointerException on production then I saw this in the source code,

entity.getKey().getValue().contains("a string"):

"We've refactored most part of the code to follow best practice. Many of the unit tests are broken. Please help us to fix them all".

Me: Oh joy!!!

A friend introduced me to mIRC and told me it's a good place to meet girls. I however ended up meeting people who showed me nice things you can do with HTML.

From that I learnt other stuff such as mIRC scripting, Flash action script, etc...

"This framework does what we want but let's not use it as we don't fully understand what's going on. It's better to write our own".

Me:

"Can we build the system in PHP? It'll be faster as compare to Java."

private String field;

public void setField(String field) {
field = field;
}

// I was wondering why didn't the value change

Developers who writes something similar

if (count >= 0) { return true; }

else { return false; }

deserves a special room in hell.

Client: We're going to introduce a mobile application.
Me: What will be the features?
Client: It will open up our webpage.
Me:

An old conversation with a former Team Lead (TL)

TL: The client has requested for a feature. Can you provide an effort estimation.

(gives estimation with task breakdown)

TL: 2 weeks? They wants it in 3 days!

Me:

Agile, the most misused word in the industry.

Had a request from a client once, "I'd like that our site supports only IE10 and above. However if the visitor uses older IE version, say IE6, things should look and work the same as IE10".

We're doing refactoring and deciding on which class to go into which module. A colleague said, "garbage put in core, shit put in common".

Me:

Me: Where is your unit tests?
Dev: I tested manually and it worked.
Me: What if there are changes to the code in future?
Dev: We'll manually retest the implementation. It'll be fine.

*flip table*

Project Manager: I used to be a programmer. I know how easy this is!

Me: