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Variables vs Deadline
Wk1 : int Store_Account_Balance ;
Wk3: int StoreAccountBalance ;
Wk5: int StoreBalance ;
Wk7: int storebalance ;
Wk9: int balance ;
Wk11: int bal ;
Wk 13: int b;2 -
So, there is this company (let's call it A) with an average idea, who got the android app and webservices from a company(B) . The service was awful but cheap. The owner of the A was a friend and gave my company the handover to manage the project. I actually ranted about that on wk11(The worst project). Now, The project was terrible. It took me months to give it any real structure, fix the services, make it compatible with iOS. Now, that majority of the work was done, suddenly we were too expensive and the work was being given to another company while much of our payment wasn't going to come(Friggin company politics). But, guess which company did the project now go to, it was 'B'.
After a couple of weeks I see, inline styles and js errors start emerging on the website.
Tell you what, if there's any justice in this world, he will one day come back to me and then I will respectfully tell him to fuck off!
Thank goodness there's devRant to just whine about this shit!2 -
We called it "Project Hindenburg".
A huge planning and logistics app with hundreds of screens and dozens of interwoven subfunctions, suddenly needed to be able to support multiple time zones. Our project was to retrofit every area that touched on dates or times, to allow the user to specify, and work in, any time zone.
At this point in the story I can tell whether you have had to work with time zones in code. People who haven't are butting in with something that begins, "that should be fairly simple, you just need to..." followed by some irrelevant noise that betrays their ignorance.
People who have worked with time zones are nodding in shared pain, like fellow attendees of a survivors meeting.
You see, programmers tend to think of time zones as arithmetic; in reality, they are confusing, ambiguous, chaotic, and individual. You can't translate everything into a central time zone (eg UTC) because you lose the user's intent. For example, if you schedule a meeting for 3pm and then move it to the next day, you want it at 3pm even if the clocks have changed.
Project Hindenburg ended up using the entire development staff of the company for well over a year. It smashed our release projections to rubble, made an already tangled code base completely unmaintainable, introduced mind-bending edge case bugs that reduced staff across the company to tears (literally), and led to most of the mid-level and senior developers eventually quitting (including me).
I am @fuckfuckityfuck, and that was the story of Project Hindenburg.11 -
Our own company website. Everyone got involved, the process broke down, and because all of management and company owners were participating- it was nearly impossible to get anything done.
We are our own worst client.5 -
I worked with another developer who argued with every choice the rest of the team made, wrote overly complicated code, and was so stubborn we ended up arguing every day for 2 weeks over his poor decisions. I nearly quit twice, and nearly beat him to death with his own keyboard multiple times.2
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Worked as a web developer on a really small agency and we always said to customers that were not designers so they need to provide us with a mockup if they want it fancy.
One customer wanted us to design a campaign site for an event and we asked for a design mockup.
"Sure, I'll send it right over!"
About 2 hours later a bike messenger knocked on our door and gave us a coaster from the merchandise. -
The worst project is the one I am currently working on. I didn’t build it but have to manage it, because... Reasons.
The projects is made on Core PHP(red flag right there).
But when I dig in I get to see there is no authentication used in any of the REST service. Yup. What's the fucking point of login if you are just going to update profiles based on user_id you Twat! The querying used is simply mysql_query (I have to say I expected that).
No relationships defined in the Mysql table structure. No migrations.
There is an upload feature which is forcing the image to be saved as jpeg, therby corrupting the images being saved on the server.
No security, terrible logic, no classes, terrible architecture.
And I am the chosen one to maintain this shit!
Truely, FML!!!3 -
Worst Project: Project Managers that don't trust their team.
Our PM before didn't want the developers included in the client meetup because she said the developers wouldn't understand anything in the meeting.
A month after the proposed deadline after, I free up my time (I'm handling different projects), and I decide to speak with the client to see where thing went south.
Apparently, what our PM promised/understood is far off from what the client wanted.
The project was a simple "show the drivers where they need to go next" mobile app while she promised a "Traveling Salesman Problem"-esque solution.2 -
Worst project I had was when I was asked to just copy-paste code and change the names of variables. Yeah, that's it, nothing more than that.5
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Any project that started out with "All you have to do is make a copy of the old code. That should take 2-3 hours..." and ends with a huge list of change requests that takes days to fulfill.2
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Worst project would have to be a code igniter website that reinvented most of the wheel and used very little of the built in functionality of the framework.
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Hi.
Programming language types are only two:
- Assembly
- All the rest
I'm destroyed, my brain is melted.
Assembly is hate and love at the same time.2 -
Another guy on DevRant wanted to make an RPG.
After 2 months of slow communication, we never coded anything, because he couldn't decide what he wanted the game to be about.9 -
A colleague and I were asked to build a website to show every product from a chain of hardware stores. Each product (1000+ products) needed a 3D model and we needed to recreate the model ourselves from stock photographs. The idea was the user could rotate a product and it from any angle. We also needed to write a description for each product without ever seeing any of them. There were only 2 of us, a 5 week deadline and it needed to be made in Silverlight. The whole thing lasted about 3 days before we convinced them it was impossible!2
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About every project at my last job. Impossible to like any project with a boss that legitimately thinks frames and tables are a better option than learning css.
But why not, attribute styling on html-elements are the future indeed.7 -
"We've refactored most part of the code to follow best practice. Many of the unit tests are broken. Please help us to fix them all".
Me: Oh joy!!!5 -
I had to write a program that sorts scores but I couldn't use any arrays... I had to create a variable for every score and do "if" "else" for every outcome.6
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Had this PM who would call me while intoxicated mid afternoon. He would come up with these random ideas, and request them be implemented into the web app we were building for him. One time he called me saying "I have an idea for a page, but so far just the page's title. I'll call you back and tell you what to put on it."5
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A group that I met at a gathering of my school wanted to make this 1v1 fight game.
We got a group whatsapp going, assigned roles, planned a meeting and discussed some general ideas.
I was excited and looking forward to developing.
Meeting comes: there are two people present, myself and the 'lead developer' dude. We discuss some general stuff about the setting of the game. I ask him what he is planning for the actual development: "I don't know yet, I'll look into it"
After that the group gradually stopped talking about it and the idea just died .....3 -
I once inherited a project that had been outsourced for more than 6 months to a company at the other end of the world. Although the PM had almost daily contact with the developer, the project wasn't technically followed up.
I had already recommended code reviews 3 months before I inherited the project. But of course these had never happened.
The project contained all the nice-to-have features, but the core wasn't working. Loading the home page (with 20 records from a DB) took 15 minutes.
We then had roughly a month the get the project straight.4 -
While in the banking world, I had a project where I had to automate an import into a shit system called CRAWiz. The data had to come from multiple archaic loan systems with no API and tons of shit data.
After implementing, the shit data came to light. Instead of fixing shit data (and using their loan systems correctly), they decided to go back to digging through physical files and manually importing. They blamed CRAWiz and decided to go with a new system to import their shit data into. I warned them repeatedly that a new system would not fix the shit data but they couldn't accept it. I left at that point. 😂 -
It was 3 months project, but it takes 9... bad management and the client changed his requirements every weekend. I quit the job after it.1
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We were forced by the enterprise architect team (people that knows almost nothing about web development) to use EdgeIPK an application technology that renders html-js-css using a designer mode to produce a cutting edge web site.
After 8 months of headaches and the resignation of the EdgeIPK web developer consultant we rewrote the entire thing with something else. -
When i first got introduced to programming in highschool, java was the only thing offered. years later i picked up java again to throw together my first project. a 100 lvl java android phone game on my own. needless to say lol it was my utter failure! i remember my phone acting like it was on heroin constantly after install lol fuck that game
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the worst project I've ever worked on was a BIOS update utility for the desktop techs at work. They wanted a tool to open that would let them know when there's a BIOS update and install it for them. The problem was the file share that held the BIOS updates had no naming convention, Dell doesn't name all BIOS updates with Axx, people would fat finger the BIOS password and model numbers for the computers was a pain to match against the file share. After at least 800 lines of C# code I give it to them. A couple months go by and I still see them going machine to machine upgrading BIOSes in labs even though my tool does it to a lab silently with a switch... hhhhhh.
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Some prankster on upwork is trying to swindle me out of paying me because they didn't "hire" me through upwork even though he asked me to send an "example" of my rendition of what I would do for their logo. Once they told me they went with someone else even after performing the requested "example," I promptly asked who to invoice. "They're going to go talk to the boss and see what they can work out."1
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Anyone else suddenly started seeing really old weekly rants? (Specifically for me, wk4, wk11) Has the algorithm changed?4
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A continuation of the worst idiot that I worked for, in possibly the worst project of the world. ( The guy who said youtube watching doesn't cost data, downloading the videos offline does)
Guy sends me a template for a patent application.. I ask him why, and he's all secretive until he takes me into a meeting with the patent officers of the organization to reveal his grand plans.
Here goes his idea. He wanted to file a patent for a sonar made for large vehicles in India. His idea was that people in India are used to overtake busses while they turn and they are overrun by the large vehicles. True to some extent but a completely overkill solution for a minor issue that could be solved by educating the masses. I try to explain this to him, and he's pissed off. Starts throwing random, made up stats at me saying 2000 people die everyday on every street. I'm like WHAT??? I look at the patent officer, and he gives me that "don't look at me dude, I'm just here for any questions about the patent process" look. He's busy doodling in his notebook while I try everything possible to invalidate the stupid idea my client has barfed all over the meeting room and the attendants. I even bring out the technical challenges leaving aside the practicality of the nonsense. I asked him how to distinguish between a pedestrian, a parked vehicle, a dog, a cow.. To which he responds with an on the spot thoughtless answer. Heat signatures!! In 5 minutes we went from sonar to heat maps in a tropical country such as India.. He now wants a hybrid solution.
He was about to start yelling when I caved in on the condition that I want nothing to do with the idea after I finish the patent application.. Made up some document and sent it to the asshole, only to never hear about it again.. Thank god for that.. R&D my ass..7 -
Client approved a design 2 months ago. I follow the design and build functionality based on the design and on budget.
What does client do... Doesn't want the site built says it doesn't follow their paper catalog. What paper catalog? I never got a paper catalog from design to follow. Three additional weeks later rebuilt the core of the site's functionality. And the final cost is 2.5 times over budget. Screw you Unnamed attorney search engine.2 -
The front for a recruiting app with Primefaces (JSF)
Guys, please, don't use Java for client-side. It was a huge headache.4 -
A prototype being used as production code written in procedural PHP with the code drawn using echo and MySQL (not MySQLi) all mixed together and the configuration with world readable database stored as config.inc.
All backed by a database with no foreign keys or data integrity of any kind. -
I was once working on a grand vision of a suite of analytical tools, which later turned into a single web app, which later turned into a desktop app, which eventually turned into a command line app, which ultimately turned into a background service that writes the results of a small subset of what it was supposed to do into database tables.1
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Any project that starts like this: "It's easy, it will only take us a couple of hours..." followed by "You code and I do the rest, that I didn't use this tool before".
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Always I see black screen while developers written code. what is that? a specific language or environment?10
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A lot, I'm very lucky with projects that need a team, always have to code the 80% of the project by myself
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All the projects where you are doing an awsome design and code work and then the client wants pizza pictures... more pizza pictures everywhere... and then he wants more of them again.
Bottom Line - When you have to build bullshit sites2 -
The project started as a series of individual prototypes. The client the wanted a beta app for a few selected clients, and someone had the great idea of just merging the prototypes into a single app. The attitude of the devs was always "whatever, this will be rebuilt for public release"
Over one year later, and after many different developers touched the project, the client wants it to go live, there was never a rebuild, and there won't be one until a few months after it goes live, and the project is buggier than it ever was.
A rebuild would have been quicker and safer than fixing the huge backlog of bugs, still the client won't accept a rebuild.
A few people already quit over this project and I think I will be the next one to hand in my resignation. -
It wasn't really the project itself, but more the execution of it
Last semester we were tasked with writing a new programming language from scratch. We were a team of six people, everything went great to begin with. We discussed language features, the framework runtime it should run on and even what language to write it in.
Fast forward two weeks, nobody is doing anything but me, the two dudes tasked with helping me were both no-shows and the others were busy documenting the syntax and semantics of the language.
I basically ended up having to write the whole language myself with no breaks no help and no guidance.
A few weeks before deadline I completely burned out and couldn't do anything other than just sit and stare at the code; mentally exhausted and not in a mood to do anything other than doing mindless unrelated tasks. But alas work had to get done.
And it did get done... Sorta.
Our beautiful statically typed, statically scoped concurrent programming language that was supposed to compile to BEAM code was neither statically typed, statically scoped, and the output ended up being half-working elixir code that only worked on the most specific of cases.
I don't want to work with those guys again.3 -
My entire senior capstone project which was supposed to be done by 4 people: I codes the entire thing myself.3
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Any project which you join in middle not knowing what its all about. Who did what, and now you are suddenly part of it.1
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Making a folder organizer.. while debugging I accidently ruined all the files and directories on my computer.
Just in one single click, boom!
In the end it disorganized all my folders.3 -
There have been a few :)
If say it's a videos utter project I initially though was good. Apart from loading a view the controllers didn't do anything - my initial thought was some magic was happening behind the scenes.
However, when I opened up the view things changed.
ALL the business logic happened in the view. Everything. Form processing, consuming an app, file uploads, validation, crud ... You name it, it happened in view. The developer created a raw MySQL connection and build his queries by concatenation g strings, the whole system was wide open to sql injection.
Even more annoying was the "source control" he invented. Every file had several copies. I.e. "User(working).php", "user_v3.php" and even "user(working_no_profile_fields_1.php". It wasn't even like there was any consistency in what file was actually used either. A complete mess. The system had around 69 screens too. No idea how the developer got that gig.2 -
Worst project: porting SCO Unix on Chorus Microkernel. That was in 1995. Great project BUT after months of efforts finally SCO pulled the plug, a few weeks before we were about to get the kernel to boot ... Aarrgghh
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Currently have the most experienced guy with this code baseline showing me how to implement something. I have not seen a code base this badly designed since I told someone they should quit the CS major.
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Had to work on a group project for class that had been created by students 3 years prior. This would have been fine if there was any sort of comments in the code, but there was not a single // to be found. Also, we were supposed to just know 3 different languages that we had not used before.
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Worst project I worked on was fixing up and optimizing a clients legacy Magento app. this thing had leftover code from a few different development teams, and then my company had to make it run better. We outsourced much of it, and it wasn't using a proper git setup. in order to do absorb at all, we had to SSH to a dev server, work directly, and pray another person on the team want working on the same file or breaking something else.1
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Worked on a project where for three month had not even a single task. First week was a nightmare, later on ive lost hope and decided to learn something fancy. So in the end it was fun.
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being 4th in line to maintain legacy code in a language I have never used before when the the last two guys were, and this is my boss telling me and not my judgment, 'incompetent.'
there are literally four functions in this class that all do the same thing... which is the one being called in this case... a seperate external function located in another file in a different language on a different server all together. 😐 -
I had to do a modular deduplication project that could read, parse and clean up the data.
The data? Personal information: Name, Surname, phone, address and more.
Imagine the zip code in any of the following formats: ####AA, #### AA. Names with and without dashes. Address with(out) spaces, dashes, underscores etc. as well as typos! Now clean it up, and dedup.
But what files have priority over another? What data is newer? How to process address changes?
Deadline: 2 moths, impossible deadline for a (at the time - 4 years ago - rookie developer)
Anyway, night before the deadline, code was running somewhat (Java) and was able to get a Regexed address cleanup of about 70 - 80%.
My boss comes in to check the progress, sits me down next to him and says: Not good enough, let's do it together tonight, it was 4pm, day normally ends at 5pm.
No thank you, I can't do that. if you don't want this code, then I can't meet your deadline.
bye
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