You probably know the "marshmellow experiment": have one marshmellow now, or delay the gratification by some time, then get two. What the experiment is supposed to measure is something like intelligence or impulse control.

Hot take: what it also measures, and much more so when it comes to reality, is trust. If I don't trust the other side to be both able and willing to deliver on the promise later, I will rather secure the smaller reward right now.

Fuck Cypress. It’s a fucking goddamn pile of diseased garbage. Its design decisions actively fight against you, its methods don’t work, it’s unreliable as fuck, and it intentionally keeps stale state so your tests fuck with one another — and that even fucks up its own interface so nothing fucking works.

It’s like stepping into the shower and expecting clean water, but instead it’s just some obese guy with diarrhea shitting in your hair, and then getting all indignant that you’re upset about it.

If you consider using Cypress for something, find another project.

Customer demands some complicated shit be done within a few hours to align with their schedule.
Me: this is not aligned with reality.
Customer: ...

I work with UK devs and them calling every little fix "win" makes me cringe ngl.

"Oh I fixed that issue yesterday. That's a small win".

Cringe all around.

need to schedule a call with a guy from another branch at work. i tell him that because of the time zone shift, i can do earliest around noon his time (and that's being generous, thats really early for a dev my time)

and of course, what does he turn around and do? sends me a meeting for 3 AM...

🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

i can't be the one with mental illness right?

perhaps the thing to do is just go around being so fucking ignorant you're just blissfully happy at all times

I have a rant. A genuine rant, not a funny story, etc.

I want a keyboard. I need one. It can cost €500, as long as it won't break in a year and fulfils all my needs. Make it a €1000, I don't care. What are my needs then? Well...

It has to be a split keyboard - two halves. But wireless in every aspect, ergonomic, with multimedia keys on its outer edges (preferably pointing outwards, not up) and a heavy metal trackball on the right outer edge (preferably upper right corner). That's a bare minimum.

On top of that it probably some magnetic scrolls for things like navigating pages, changing volume and fidgeting in general wouldn't hurt. Also I'd prefer it to snap back into a one-piece whenever I need it to lie on my knees, e.g. when I type while sitting on a coach (I have a coach PC setup, no desk, and there's a reason). Why do I need it to split then...?

I had an accident. Kind of broke my back when I was 11. It's mostly okay now after couple years of rehabilitation and many more years of careful living. Luckily the only two wheels I ride on are powered by a 105.97 hp @ 9,970 rpm engine. Still, I try to be careful so I tried tons of work hygiene techniques over the years and I found out anything over 2 hours is best done while lying flat.

Coding while lying flat has its challenges, mostly focused around screen and input. Ever since I got a VR headset half of them got solved but the other half - acquiring a suitable keyboard - it's very hard to satisfy. I tried that with a one-piece keyboard lying on my stomach. Turns out actively bending elbows quickly wears them out (hello tennis players). So a split keyboard it has to be. So far I tried 4 different ones and I had to modify the cable connecting both halves in each and every one of them so that it'd be long enough to go behind my back. The main cable itself I only had to modify once because usually there're extensions available.

Apart from cables, all of those keyboards had issues. Starting from some kind of de-syncing when keys from both halves would randomly register in a wrong order - I didn't know it's possible with a cable connected halves... I did try two generic WiFi keyboards (using one for each hand) and they unfortunately suffered from that very same issue but I was sure it wouldn't happen if the device was designed to be a one unit from the very beginning, right? And yet it in 2 of the tested devices.

Other than that, plugs disconnecting on their own forcing me to take off the headset and fiddle around, too high key travel that'd strain the wrists after a few hours, even the noise that would wake up my girlfriend sleeping in a separate room were all a common issue (I briefly had an almost completely silent WiFi mechanical keyboard from Logitech we both really liked, but it was a one-piece). Once I got a split keyboard that was "natively" WiFi but not only the two halves were still connected with a cable that turned out to be way too short for my needs, it also had a very noticeable lag despite the high price - a lag way higher than any of the cheap WiFi keyboards I owned in the past. So I sent it back. Now IDK what to do because AFAICT there are no more models available, at least where I live.

So yeah, I need a keyboard and I'll probably have to make one myself. Sorry, just had to vent.

Finnegan by @retoor has received 16 points for Presentation and 12 points for Functionality (28 total) during the voting phase. And with this, I call it the Winning devRant clone 2023!

She will get an SVG with her likeness and layered sliding animation made by yours truly, which is a potentially perfect trophy for her portfolio. Hope you'll like it, @retoor, so give me a time and it will arrive!

ragedev by @SidTheITGuy has received 6 points for Presentation and 3 points for Functionality (9 total). As such, he will only receive a static SVG portrait. But it's still a good addition to his YouTube channel, I believe!

@ostream with others get a certificate for participation. I don't really know why I'm issuing those, but please accept! It's the least I can do for your all's contributions. Come by the next "jam" announcement, I promise it will be more exciting ;)))

Archive of Unofficial devRant Clone Jam: https://devrant.com/search/...

Start my Monday by trying to decipher non-tech people's "bug" reports whee they submit a small portion of a web page where some problem occurs, when I asked them to include the ENTIRE browser window including the URL of the page they're on.

Business Analyst says most of the forms aren't working, because they're not creating leads in the CRM system. I made a column in the form list where I explicitly mention the form submission destination, such as email, CRM, newsletter, or some combo of these. Forms work, she just can't read.

Just can't win.

Rant.

Fucking frontenders…

CNN… scroll down…tap into article…swipe back… completely somewhere else…

It is soon 2024

You retards.

You imbecils

What-is-the-matter-with-you?

Why don’t you solve this? Why? Why do you persist (or not)?

Bootcrap. Just looked at their main page, and it's a whopping 75k of markup plus 294k of CSS (W-T-F?!), and 224k of JS. All of that shit for a page that shouldn't be more than 10k of markup, 16k of CSS, and that has no reason to even use JS at all.

<a class="d-flex flex-column flex-lg-row justify-content-center align-items-center mb-4 text-dark lh-sm text-decoration-none

Yeah, that crap is supposed to be "easier" to write. That's what you get for totally failing to understand how HTML/CSS even work, clinging to late 1990s practices, and ditching decades of progress since then.

Although the Bootcrap folks do manage to write valid HTML. As low as that sounds, but that counts already as an exceptional skill in the notoriously low-skilled frontend "dev" world that is all about making shitty websites.

Oh, and the rest like Failwind and Bulimia aren't any better. They already fail at delivering valid HTML on their websites.

I fucking hate it when apps are not named the same way as the fucking product or company. "Connect" app. Connect fucking what? "Mobile bank". Let me try to search for it using the name of my bank. Haha, oops, I forgot I should rather go fuck myself. MusicCast. You're fucking Yamaha and if I can't find you at Y then gods help me.

Hey Code-tards,

We're announcing a new update to our software `FUCK YOU` to include a new 'feature' no one asked and would give a FLYING FUCK about, but we were sitting on our MOTHERFUCKING ASSES and had to justify our salaries somehow.

So this new feature really just makes your life horrible by taking away or breaking all useful features you were PERFECTLY HAPPY with before, but FUCK YOU if you aren't happy with it and don't throw half of your salary our way every month.

Remember our library you were perfectly OK with, that u integrated in your codebase? DEPRECATED from this second onwards. WHY? BECAUSE FUCK YOU ! That's WHY.

Oh yeah, and one last thing before we make your life a living hellhole, give us your SSN, credit card(s) and mortgage payments to us, you money-hungry CUNT. Haven't you heard the phrase already? YOU WILL OWN NOTHING AND YOU WILL BE HAPPY.

Boss: Hey! I know you just got everything working on that new project. But good news: I have a repo you can clone and we can work together. So just clone that and look at my changes, find something that’s broken, and work away. Oh, I also modified everything to use HTTPS locally. HTTP won’t work anymore. Alright, I’m off on vacation! Ciao!

… and that’s the story of how I spent a day and a half fighting with NPM, Brew, setting up a new CA and self-signed cert, and getting passenger to work with it. The good news is that I can connect locally via 443. The bad news is all assets use http and are thus blocked for being mixed-content. And idk how to fix it. Joy!

Not mentioned: npx removing a required package every time I run it, version mismatches, and the usual NPM problems.

Microsoft :

"YOLO All Devops pipeline are now .net 8"

Me, lunching PROD release : "Whatever, I don't use any advanced shit"

Pipeline : "Can't connect to your nuget soure (private) : 401"

Me : What ? You just connected to it in prevous step in pipeline !

Azure : Yah, but prev st ep was using different syntax so it worked

Me : Ok, here you go, same syntax

Azure : Still nop.
Me : WHY ?!!!
Azure : I won't tell you. 401 !!

Me : Fuck you, I 'll rewrite this step from scrath !
30 mins later

Azure : Naaaan, stil 401.
Me : HOW ?!!! You literally use this nuget feed in 2 prev steps with no issues.
Azure : Fuck you
Me : fuck you too.
15 mins later
me to me... Hmm, I've already restored all packages. They "should" stay where they are..
Me : Take that azure : Ignore restoring for this step"
Azure : Oh yeah, that works ! All compiled !

WTF ?!!!! And why they release cha ges without even sending a mail. because fuck us apparently.

God I hate devops....

Government: Taxes have gone up due to inflation!
Company: uWu, No problem sensei-chan.

Supply Chain: Manufacturing costs have gone up due to lack of supplies!
Company: uWu, No problem sensei-chan.

AWS: Server costs are up due to inflation!
Company: uWu, No problem sensei-chan.

Employee: Cost of my services have gone up.
Company: Listen here you little shit.

Anytime I see content including this emoji 🚀, I just want to close whatever page or post it’s a part of right away

- TeamLeader1: Noooo, classes in JS are fake because here and there, in NodeJS they work differently from the browser because here and there, I know it
- IHateForALiving: I'm betting 50 cents against 50 bucks that you're wrong. You in?
- TeamLeader1: Uhm... no, I don't feel like betting against you about technical issues :(

It's been a months long journey, but it finally looks like we're getting somewhere.

Thoughts on Session as a secure messenger? It looks fine at a glance, especially not using PII like a phone number, but I haven’t delved into it — and honestly don’t have the mental energy to.

What’s everyone’s thoughts on it?

If you ever get bored with how far Linux has come these days, there is a solution: BSD. That shit catapults you easily back by 25 years.

So if Arch isn't shitty enough for your desire as late born and you really want to know what a piece of crap Linux was in the late 90s, have a look at BSD.

2 years ago I would have hoped Discord would have started an enterprise version of their software but now it’s bloated with stupid paying gifs animations, activities and other cringe micro-transactions
Problem is there is no alternative of their role-based permissions system, or their open audio channels, or even the audio quality.

I worked with a client, last year, over an app that I didn't think much of, and kept making YouTube videos after our contract ended. Two months ago, I got an idea of making an app for my channel and posted a roadmap video on it.

The client saw that video today, and sent me an email with legal threats, saying I can't do that according to our employment agreement. So, I deleted the videos. All good, no hard feelings. Good ol' Capitalism baby!

But then, I started overthinking about it and it made sense why most high level devs don't post tutorial content anymore and they make videos like "Day In the Life" or "Reality of programming" blah blah.

Maybe they're afraid too that they will get their channel terminated or their life would go to waste?

Ticket: This API param doesn’t work.
Ticket Size: 1 story point / extra small baby fries

Found the issue almost immediately: some fucked up date math. Or at least backwards as hell. I don’t know. I don’t care.

There’s no spec for it, and writing it is a bitch. None of the API test helpers are designed for end-to-end tests. Why? I don’t care. They’re stupid. They all just break. And the API does weird shit like fucking redirects to an HTML page. Which is… i don’t know. They mix up API and embedded sessions a bunch, so who knows if this is right or broken as fuck.

I can’t deal with this shit anymore.
It’s just mountains of fucking garbage. Every time I dig into anything, anywhere in this codebase, or, let’s be honest: the entire goddamn company, it’s just more fucking garbage. The code is garbage. The specs are garbage. The people are garbage. The woke crap they love so much is garbage. The industry is garbage. The macs we’re required to use are garbage. The strongly-encouraged editor is garbage. The new hires are garbage. The legendary devs are garbage. The VPN is garbage — still haven’t gotten it to fucking work outside of fucking Safari, which is also garbage. The meetings are garbage. The “culture” is garbage. The “raises” are garbage. The thirty-step dance ceremony for each ticket is garbage. The literal fucking garbage at the office is the best part of the entire goddamn landfill.

And yeah, over half of the code that’s been giving me problems on this ticket was written by the same dev: The legendary golden garbage boy himself.

Just.
Fucking hell.

I’m going back to looking for work again. I can’t do this anymore.

Risk engine for payment processing, with support for custom rules and third party integrations like IDology. Deadline was one week.

The most unrealistic deadline? Okay, here it goes. For context, this is one of my earliest jobs, and I’m actively using React.

— Kiki, I have a stunning idea! Let’s build a Figma clone!
— Okaaaay, 🧐
— You have two days.
— A what?
— I’ve just stumbled upon an amazing new technology. You maybe don’t know it yet. It’s called React.js, and you totally can build a full Figma clone in two days using it!
— …
— It’s a revolution, and you’re so ignorant for not following it. Are you even a real engineer?
— …

Two days later:
— Forget about Figma! Let’s build an online DAW for musicians!

That guy was nuts. I left when we had an executive meeting, I was explaining tech things, and he suddenly popped out a fucking tambourine and started striking it. One year later, he lost everything and went to get a junior C++ position at an outsourcing company.

> TeamLeader1: I just discovered SQL is actually super fast! The low responsiveness I've experienced comes from our ORM!
> IHateForALiving: well of course SQL is blazingly fast. SQL has been refined by the best engineers in the world for the past 50 years, its performances are unparalleled for everything you could possibly need, unless you want to scale REALLY big. Sequelize, instead, is an Active Record ORM, so it's bound to struggle with huge amount of data, because every single row will get attached a significant amount of black magic to make sure everything syncs correctly. Why is that?
> TeamLeader1: I have a problem with this frontend component, it doesn't allow pagination. I tried downloading the whole DB to bypass that, but the ORM is slow... so I will bypass the ORM and download the whole table with a raw query. Look at that! It works like a charm, it's super duper fast!'

This mf is downloading some 35 thousand rows every time some user loads a page because he doesn't know how to paginate the fucking table with Angular, there's no way these people are real.

Higher refresh rates are an absolute garbage feature in warm countries.

My laptop switches to 300 Hz refresh rate, automatically, when I plug the charger in. And 2 mins later, my laptop is a literal oven and the fans sound like a fighter jet flying right above ur head.

My phone has a 144 and 120 Hz refresh rate feature but I never use it. I played a game of PUBG Mobile on 120 Hz and it made my phone so hot I couldn't hold it properly.

Me and my aunt. We put a whole frozen chicken into the microwave. After the frost is gone, it starts moving.

“Boiling moisture”, we think. Then, the chicken awakens. “Leave it to boil, lobsters are boiled alive after all”, says my aunt. “No! We’re microwaving a live animal! That’s torture!”, I scream in panic. We switch the microwave off. Chicken — out. No skin, hellish red meat, severe burns. It tries to scream but can’t. I need to put it out of its misery, NOW.

Aunt says “hold it against the table, I’m going to break its neck”. I oblige, and she proceeds to crush its neck with a two-by-four. It turns out, the neck is basically rubber and doesn’t budge. I have a better idea: let’s do something to its brain directly. I take a pin and proceed to find its skull. But there is no skull to be found, just a capri-sun for its head, with a small pocket of something squishy. The chicken keep wheezing loudly, desperate to scream. I poke that pouch with a pin. It splits in half, spilling the insides — gray chalk.

“It’s gone”, says aunt. “Its suffering is over”.

I sigh in relief. That was quite a cooking experience.

Thank god I woke up. It was just a dream.

Let me explain a tiny corner of some awful code I read earlier today, in layman’s terms.

It’s a method to see if the user is in a secure session — not to set up the session, just to see if it exists. The method ends with a question mark, so it’s basically a question. It should look up the info (without changing anything) and should always give a clear yes/no answer. Makes sense, right?

Let’s say the question is “am I in school right now?”

The code… well.

If there isn’t a student, the answer it gives is null, not yes or no. Null is a fancy word for no, pretty much, so that’s kinda fine, but it really should be a simple no.

It then checks to see if the school is open today. If it is open, it then checks to see if I made my lunch, if I took my backpack, and if I rode the bus — and makes these things happen if they didn’t. Forgot my backpack? Just ask “am I in school today?” And poof! There’s my backpack! … but only if the school is open.

It then, finally, checks to see if I’m actually in the school, and gives that answer.

It could just see if I’m in the school — I mean, I could be in school without a backpack, or walked there on the weekend, right? Ha! You and your silly logic have no place here.

So, by asking if the user is in a secure session, we change the answer: they weren’t before, but the act of asking makes it so. This isn’t profound or anything: I don’t work with Schrödinger. My coworkers are just idiots.

And no, the rest of the code isn’t any better…

Moving away from technology and becoming self-sufficient. A cottage with a stream on the edge of a forest, a large garden, some chickens and other animals, and no smart devices, managers, tickets, KPAs, performance reviews, legendary devs shitting out an endless stream of bugs, etc.

Peace and quiet.
And freedom at last.
That’s success.

That’s the ultimate success: escape.

Thunderbird mail client switched to compact mode or a new look, so I suspected that's the announced "update that many users won't like".
Googled how to revert Thunderbird to its old UI and found that people posted that question, but 4 years ago? As yesterday's UI wasn't exactly elegant and beautiful either, I'll just get used to the new one!