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Search - "consulting"
Worst dev I've interviewed?
"Archie" ran his own consulting business for almost 20 years. Prior to his interview, Archie sent HR (to send to us) his company's website, where he had samples of code for us to review (which was not bad, this guy did know his stuff).
What I found odd was Archie was the lone wolf at his company, but everything I found about him (the about page, his bio, etc), Archie was referred to as 'Mr. Archie Brown'.
Ex. 'Mr. Archie Brown began his humble career and 'Mr. Archie Brown is active in his church and volunteers his time in many charities ...'
Odd to refer to yourself in the third person on your own site, but OK, I like putting hot sauce on my mac & cheese (no judgement here).
Then the interview..standard stuff, then..
Me: "Given your experience, this is an entry level developer position. Do you feel the work would be challenging enough for you?"
Archie: "Yes, Mr. Archie Brown would have no problem starting at bottom. You see ..."
Almost any time he would reference himself, instead of 'me' or 'I', he would say 'Mr. Archie Brown'. As the interview continued, the ego and self-importance grew and grew.
My interview partner wanted to be done by using the escape clause, "PaperTrail, I'm good, do you have any questions?"
Yes, yes I do. I was having too much fun listening to this guy ramble on about himself. I made the interview go the full hour with the majority of time 'Archie' telling us how great he is.
The icing on the cake was my partner caught his gold cuff-links and tie-pin where his initials and how he kept raising his hands and playing with his tie to show us (which I totally missed, then was like "oh yea, that was weird")
After the interview, talking with HR:
HR-Jake: "How did it go?"
John: "Terrible. One of the worst. We would have been done in 10 minutes if PaperTrail didn't keep asking questions."
Me: "Are you kidding!? I had the best time ever. I wish I could have stayed longer."
HR-Jake: "Really? This guy was so full of himself I wasn't sure to even schedule with you guys. With his experience, I thought it deserved at least a round with you two. You think we should give him a chance?"
Me: "Hell no. Never in a million years, no. I never in my whole life met anyone with such a big ego. I mean, he kept referring to himself in the third person. Who does that?"
HR-Jake: "Whew!...yea, he did that in the phone interview too. It was a red flag for us as well."
Couple of weeks later I ran into HR-Jake in the break room.
HR-Jake: "Remember Mr. Archie Brown?"
Me: "To my dying day, I will never forget Mr. Archie Brown."
HR-Jake: "I called him later that day to tell him the good news and he accused me of being a racist. If we didn't give him the job, he was getting a lawyer and sue us for discrimination."
Me: "What the frack!"
HR-Jake: "Yep, and guess what? Got a letter from his lawyer today. I don't think a case will come in front of a judge, but if you have any notes from the interview, I'll need them."
Me: "What are we going to do?"
HR-Jake: "Play the waiting game between lawyers. We're pretty sure he'll run out of money before we do."
After about 6 months, and a theft conviction (that story made the local paper), Mr. Archie Brooks dropped his case (or his lawyers did).38
EDIT: devRant April Fools joke (2020)
We've been at this a few years now, and over the last 6 months we've been working closely with a brand consulting agency, and after numerous developer interviews, surveys and focus groups, we've come to realize "devRant" is simply not capturing the cultural zeitgeist of this new decade. Therefore, we have a bold new brand that will be rolling out over the coming week. devDucks is our bold vision for the future, today. devDucks speaks to a new generation of software engineers who resonate with a more upbeat, optimistic tone when they go to an anonymous web community to swear and lament their current work situation. While we finalize the new logo and other key marketing collateral, we have started a staged roll-out of our new brand styling, including the conversion of all avatars to literal devDucks. We hope this brings more joy to your ranting, as it has to ours. Sincerely, David & Tim (@dfox & @trogus) - devDucks co-founders63
I’m a senior dev at a small company that does some consulting. This past October, some really heavy personal situation came up and my job suffered for it. I raised the flag and was very open with my boss about it and both him and my team of 3 understood and were pretty cool with me taking on a smaller load of work while I moved on with some stuff in my life. For a week.
Right after that, I got sent to a client. “One month only, we just want some presence there since it’s such a big client” alright, I guess I can do that. “You’ll be in charge of a team of a few people and help them technically.” Sounds good, I like leading!
So I get here. Let’s talk technical first: from being in a small but interesting project using Xamarin, I’m now looking at Visual Basic code, using Visual Studio 2010. Windows fucking Forms.
The project was made by a single dev for this huge company. She did what she could but as the requirements grew this thing became a behemoth of spaghetti code and User Controls. The other two guys working on the project have been here for a few months and they have very basic experience at the job anyways. The woman that worked on the project for 5 years is now leaving because she can’t take it anymore.
And that’s not the worse of it. It took from October to December for me to get a machine. I literally spent two months reading on my cellphone and just going over my shitty personal situation for 8 hours a day. I complained to everyone I could and nothing really worked.
Then I got a PC! But wait… no domain user. Queue an extra month in which I could see the Windows 7 (yep) log in screen and nothing else. Then, finally! A domain user! I can log in! Just wait 2 extra weeks for us to give your user access to the subversion rep and you’re good to go!
While all of this went on, I didn’t get an access card until a week ago. Every day I had to walk to the reception desk, show my ID and request they call my boss so he could grant me access. 5 months of this, both at the start of the day and after lunch. There was one day in particular, between two holidays, in which no one that could grant me access was at the office. I literally stood there until 11am in which I called my company and told them I was going home.
Now I’ve been actually working for a while, mostly fixing stuff that works like crap and trying to implement functions that should have been finished but aren’t even started. Did I mention this App is in production and being used by the people here? Because it is. Imagine if you will the amount of problems that an application that’s connecting to the production DB can create when it doesn’t even validate if the field should receive numeric values only. Did I mention the DB itself is also a complete mess? Because it is. There’s an “INDEXES” tables in which, I shit you not, the IDs of every other table is stored. There are no Identity fields anywhere, and instead every insert has to go to this INDEXES table, check the last ID of the table we’re working on, then create a new registry in order to give you your new ID. It’s insane.
And, to boot, the new order from above is: We want to split this app in two. You guys will stick with the maintenance of half of it, some other dudes with the other. Still both targeting the same DB and using the same starting point, but each only working on the module that we want them to work in. PostmodernJerk, it’s your job now to prepare the app so that this can work. How? We dunno. Why? Fuck if we care. Kill you? You don’t deserve the swift release of death.
Also I’m starting to get a bit tired of comments that go ‘THIS DOESN’T WORK and ‘I DON’T KNOW WHY WE DO THIS BUT IT HELPS and my personal favorite ‘??????????????????????14
My boyfriend is in dental school and I am, of course, a dev. So we often swap analogies to help each other better understand what we are talking (or usually complaining) about. My favorite one so far is when I was explaining to him how the sales team undersells websites without consulting developers and we are constantly over budget. So he goes, "That's like the receptionist telling the patient they have 2 cavities just by looking at them and having them pay immediately. And when the dentist takes a look, the patient actually needs 4 crowns and a root canal... but they already paid for just the 2 cavities."5
My biggest dev blunder. I haven't told a single soul about this, until now.
So, I was working as a full stack dev at a small consulting company. By this time I had about 3 years of experience and started to get pretty comfortable with my tools and the systems I worked with.
I was the person in charge of a system dealing with interactions between people in different roles. Some of this data could be sensitive in nature and users had a legal right to have data permanently removed from our system. In this case it meant remoting into the production database server and manually issuing DELETE statements against the db. Ugh.
As soon as my brain finishes processing the request to venture into that binary minefield and perform rocket surgery on that cursed database my sympathetic nervous system goes into high alert, palms sweaty. Mom's spaghetti.
Alright. Let's do this the safe way. I write the statements needed and do a test run on my machine. Works like a charm 😎
Time to get this over with. I remote into the server. I paste the code into Microsoft SQL Server Management Studio. I read through the code again and again and again. It's solid. I hit run.
Wait. I ran it?
With the IDs from my local run?
I stare at the confirmation message: "Nice job dude, you just deleted some stuff. Cool. See ya. - Your old pal SQL Server".
What did I just delete? What ramifications will this have? Am I sweating? My life is over. Fuck! Think, think, think.
You're a professional. Handle it like one, goddammit.
I think about doing a rollback but the server dudes are even more incompetent than me and we'd lose all the transactions that occurred after my little slip. No, that won't fly.
I do the only sensible thing: I run the statements again with the correct IDs, disconnect my remote session, and BOTTLE THAT SHIT UP FOREVER.
I tell no one. The next few days I await some kind of bug report or maybe a SWAT team. Days pass. Nothing. My anxiety slowly dissipates. That fateful day fades into oblivion and I feel confident my secret will die with me. Cool ¯\_(ツ)_/¯13
Attended one of the best meetups ever. To give you an idea how awesome it was..
Speaker took the first ~20 minutes introducing himself.
His intro card deck kept referring to himself in the third person (he is the only employee in consulting 'company'). Ex. "Mr. Smith began his humble career .."
The powerpoint presentation began with him clicking each page, not executing the slideshow (ex. pressing F5).
Finally someone asked "Can you make slide bigger?"
S:"You can't read that?..um..sure...I guess .."
Starts fumbling around the zoom ...
Dev: "No, can you start the slideshow?"
S: "I don't know what you mean...there...I zoomed it, is that better? Now I can't see my notes..just sec.."
<fumbles again with the zoom>
Dev: "No, not zoom, start the slide show, press F5"
S: "Oh...you want me to F5 it...OK..."
<he *clicks* the slide show button>
Finally getting into code, trying to get out of powerpoint ...
S: "How do I get out of this fullscreen?.."
Dev: "Hit escape"
<keeps trying to click on 'something'>
S:"I see visual studio, but its not on the big screen... "
<keeps click on 'something', no one is sure whats going on>
Dev: "Hit Escape to stop the slideshow"
<finally hits escape, then able to put Visual Studio on the big screen>
S: "Ahh...there, I figured it out."
Speaker had no end of making wild/random statements like:
".Net Core is the future of Microsoft, if you're using .Net 4.5...forget it, its not even supported anymore."
"When I was at Microsoft Build, I asked them why not put all the required .Net assemblies in one directory. Looks like with .Net Core, they listened to me" (he was serious)
"I don't use SQL Server Mgmt Studio. Its free and it sucks. I use <insert a very expensive SSMS clone>, its great, you guys should check it out", then proceeds to struggle to open a query window to write some SQL.
"When you use .Net Core and EntityFramework, you have to write your own stored procedures. If a developer can't write stored procedures, he shouldn't be in this business."
I was on the edge of my seat, hungry for the next crazy bat-shit thing to come out of his mouth. He did not disappoint. BEST MEETUP EVER!9
I recently joined the dark side - an agile consulting company (why and how is a long story). The first client I was assigned to was an international bank. The client wanted a web portal, that was at its core, just a massive web form for their users to perform data entry.
My company pitched and won the project even though they didn't have a single developer on their bench. The entire project team (including myself) was fast tracked through interviews and hired very rapidly so that they could staff the project (a fact I found out months later).
Although I had ~8 years of systems programming experience, my entire web development experience amounted to 12 weeks (a part time web dev course) just before I got hired.
I introduce to you, my team ...
Scrum Master. 12 years experience on paper.
Rote memorised the agile manifesto and scrum textbooks. He constantly went “We should do X instead of (practical thing) Y, because X is the agile way.” Easily pressured by the client to include ridiculous (real time chat in a form filling webpage), and sometimes near impossible features (undo at the keystroke level). He would just nag at the devs until someone mumbled ‘yes' just so that he would stfu and go away.
UX Designer. 3 years experience on paper ... as business analyst.
Zero professional experience in UX. Can’t use design tools like AI / photoshop. All he has is 10 weeks of UX bootcamp and a massive chip on his shoulder. The client wanted a web form, he designed a monstrosity that included several custom components that just HAD to be put in, because UX. When we asked for clarification the reply was a usually condescending “you guys don’t understand UX, just do <insert unhandled edge case>, this is intended."
Developer - PHD in his first job.
Invents programming puzzles to solve where there are none. The user story asked for a upload file button. He implemented a queue system that made use of custom metadata to detect file extensions, file size, and other attributes, so that he could determine which file to synchronously upload first.
Developer - Bootlicker. 5 years experience on paper.
He tried to ingratiate himself with the management from day 1. He also writes code I would fire interns and fail students for. His very first PR corrupted the database. The most recent one didn’t even compile.
Developer - Millennial fratboy with a business degree. 8 years experience on paper.
His entire knowledge of programming amounted to a single data structures class he took on Coursera. Claims that’s all he needs. His PRs was a single 4000+ line files, of which 3500+ failed the linter, had numerous bugs / console warnings / compile warnings, and implemented 60% of functionality requested in the user story. Also forget about getting his attention whenever one of the pretty secretaries walked by. He would leap out of his seat and waltz off to flirt.
Developer - Brooding loner. 6 years experience on paper.
His code works. It runs, in exponential time. Simply ignores you when you attempt to ask.
Developer - Agile fullstack developer extraordinaire. 8 years experience on paper.
Insists on doing the absolute minimum required in the user story, because more would be a waste. Does not believe in thinking ahead for edge conditions because it isn’t in the story. Every single PR is a hack around existing code. Sometimes he hacks a hack that was initially hacked by him. No one understands the components he maintains.
Developer - Team lead. 10 years of programming experience on paper.
Writes spaghetti code with if/else blocks nested 6 levels deep. When asked "how does this work ?”, the answer “I don’t know the details, but hey it works!”. Assigned as the team lead as he had the most experience on paper. Tries organise technical discussions during which he speaks absolute gibberish that either make no sense, or are complete misunderstandings of how our system actually works.
The last 2 guys are actually highly regarded by my company and are several pay grades above me. The rest were hired because my company was desperate to staff the project.
There are a 3 more guys I didn’t mention. The 4 of us literally carried the project. The codebase is ugly as hell because the others merge in each others crap. We have no unit tests, and It’s near impossible to start because of the quality of the code. But this junk works, and was deployed to production. Today is it actually hailed as a success story.
All these 3 guys have quit. 2 of them quit without a job. 1 found a new and better gig.
I’m still here because I need the money. There’s a tsunami of trash code waiting to fail in production, and I’m the only one left holding the fort.
Why am I surrounded by morons?
Why are these retards paid more than me?
Why are they so proud when all they produce is trash?
How on earth are they still hired?
And yeah, FML.7
The following meeting occurred at a client between a recently added client PM and our team, we'll call her Shrilldesi, previously from one of the main consulting vendors.
*Meeting begins after 15 minutes of bullshitting, waiting for people to file in*
Shrilldesi: "Ok everyone, let's get started
TeamMember: "We're still waiting for Z and W, not sure why they're late."
SD: "We can start there. It was decided had to lay off Z and W, because we didn't have enough work."
Moi: "Wait, what. Who made that decision? Why weren't we consulted on this? We have another project starting next week that they were needed for. They just delivered the entire public facing rewrite, why would we let them go?!"
SD: "It was decided by myself, pajeet, and venkata looking at the backlog. Not enough work, week gap."
Moi: "This is going to hurt our ability to deliver the next phase. When are we going to start interviewing new people, the project begins next week?"
SD: "We will interview new resources as needed."
Moi: "Who is we? And 'as needed' is yesterday, or realistically several weeks ago as the. project. starts. next. week. Also, we're obligated by federal law to bring back anyone we lay off before we hire anyone else for the same position."
SD: "Interviews will be done by myself, Mohd, and Pajeet."
Moi: "...can I point out that there's only one modestly technical person in that group, they're an admin, and none of them are from this team? How do you conduct an engineering interview without any engineers?"
SD: "That does not matter, I have watched enough to be able to ask your questions."
Moi: *anger intensifies* "I have to respectfully disagree. I don't feel it's appropriate to cut us out of the process of interviewing our own team members."
SD: "It is decided, we will take care of it, let us move on. Next, we need to find work for the Manasa, she doesn't have anything to do."
Moi: *sharpens baseball bat* "...shouldn't we just fire her then?"
SD: "Oh that is so mean, why would we fire her? We were thinking she might be able to do some of my project management work."
Moi: *sharpening intensifies* "You do realize it's a violation of H1-B statutes for someone to be employed in work other than what is stated on their contract, and Project Managers are specifically listed as not specialized skillsets per federal law."
SD: *ignores question* "We also need to find work for the offshore team, they don't have enough to do. Please find them work for the next period."
Moi: *checks how long the wait period is for ar-15s*
SD: "We also have a new person rolling onto our team, he comes from the xyz team, Dikshit *gestures to person we all figured was lost*. He will be handling our front end development."
Moi: *seething hatred* "WE JUST LET TWO EXCELLENT FRONT END DEVELOPERS GO. WE DO NOT NEED DIKSHIT."
SD: "Please calm down. We will be replacing the other two shortly, there is no problem."
Moi: "Have you heard nothing I've said? Did you even run this by legal and HR? Why did we let them go in the first place? Why do we even need Dikshit?!"
SD: "I said it before, please listen. There is not enough work for them. Dikshit will do front end. What is unclear?"
Note: There's not really any dramatization here. It's almost verbatim what happened. Eventually, the next project was cancelled, they incrementally rolled the rest of the local team off. They then had the cojones to express aghast anger when I notified them I would not be renewing my contract, and open hatred when I explained to them I was not a slave, and I refused to be a bag holder for the inevitable failure of a project without any chance of success. I don't really care what happened after that, they can all burn in their own little nepotistic shitshow of perpetual failure.6
Recruiter called me again after months because he had an interesting position for me.
Something with 'it consulting' since I was 'into it' 'according to my linkedin'.
Fuck of and die.7
Alleged senior dev in a company I was consulting at 👴: "interfaces? I never use those. I don't believe in interfaces"4
Would you like to smile for 10 seconds? Read this short story:
During World War II, numerous fighter planes were getting hit by anti-aircraft guns. Air Force officers wanted to add some protective armour/shield to the planes.
The question was "where"?
The planes could only support few more kilos of weight. Mathematicians were called for a short consulting project.
Fighter planes returning from missions were analysed for bullet holes per square foot.
They found 1.93 bullet holes/sq. foot near the tail of planes whereas only 1.11 bullet holes/sq. foot close to the engine.
The officers thought that since the tail portion had the greatest density of bullets, it would be the logical location for putting an anti-bullet shield.
A mathematician said exactly the opposite; more protection is needed where the bullet holes aren't - that is -around the engines.
His judgement surprised everyone. He said "He said We are counting the planes that returned from a mission. Planes with lots of bullet holes in the engine did not return at all".
Moral: Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted, counts.
Source: From the book -
"How Not To Be Wrong", by Jordan Ellenberg.4
Client:"So we would like to found a new company and offer IT and network consulting. Would you be able to build our website?"
Me:"Absolutely. What will be the name of your company?"
Client:"The name is going to be 'Generic-IT'. The website is going to be 'generic-IT.com' . We checked that with google."
Me:"I am sorry to tell you that generic.com is already taken by another company. Incidentally that company offers the same services, that you intend to offer. They also seem to be quite big an have businesses in 5 different countries.
Because of this I advise you to pick a different name that does not get you into trouble and makes positioning your own brand easier."
Client:"We want to neglect that problem for now."
Me:"0.0 ..... -_-""""
"Well, listen. Apart from the possible branding and copyright problems imagine how people will find you on the web. ...What will happen if you google 'generic IT'?"
Client:"Yeah well, we want to neglect that. And with SEO you can do something about that."
Me:"..........Welllll, you that SEO is not a cure all, right? The older an bigger company will come up first. Why not avoid that missunderstanding and come up with a unique name?"
Me:"Please tell me. Doesn't any part of my argument make sense to you?"
Me:"Well, ok. I will send you the estimate on monday."
Then over a back channel I hear that the client is ...bewildered, why I would not stick to my area of expertise.
There I was now. Left bewildered myself, being the one with the webagency that does frontend design and branding.7
Dumb ass management. Picked a different technology for us without consulting our technical team...3
Worst part of being a dev is the expectation to work whenever / wherever and ultimately cover your bosses ass when they set a ridiculous deadline without consulting you. But if you miss the deadline it's your fault, right.
I was engaged as a contractor to help a major bank convert its servers from physical to virtual. It was 2010, when virtual was starting to eclipse physical. The consulting firm the bank hired to oversee the project had already decided that the conversions would be performed by a piece of software made by another company with whom the consulting firm was in bed.
I was brought in as a Linux expert, and told to, "make it work." The selected software, I found out without a lot of effort or exposure, eats shit. With whip cream. Part of the plan was to, "right-size" filesystems down to new desired sizes, and we found out that was one of the many things it could not do. Also, it required root SSH access to the server being converted. Just garbage.
I was very frustrated by the imposition of this terrible software, and started to butt heads with the consulting firm's project manager assigned to our team. Finally, during project planning meetings, I put together a P2V solution made with a customized Linux Rescue CD, perl, rsync, and LVM.
The selected software took about 45 minutes to do an initial conversion to the VM, and about 25 minutes to do a subsequent sync, which was part of the plan, for the final sync before cutover.
The tool I built took about 5 minutes to do the initial conversion, and about 30-45 seconds to do the final sync, and was able to satisfy every business requirement the selected software was unable to meet, and about which the consultants just shrugged.
The project manager got wind of this, and tried to get them to release my contract. He told management what I had built, against his instructions. They did not release my contract. They hired more people and assigned them to me to help build this tool.
They traveled to me and we refined it down to a simple portable ISO that remained in use as the default method for Linux for years after I left.
Fast forward to 2015. I'm interviewing for the position I have now, and one of the guys on the tech screen call says he worked for the same bank later and used that tool I wrote, and loved it. I think it was his endorsement that pushed me over and got me an offer for $15K more than I asked for.4
Well dear former employer thank you for everything. Thanks for taking me on as a junior and not providing any training at all. Thanks for changing my job role without consulting me whilst I was on holiday and again failing to train me for a job I had no idea about, but you apparently needed me to do for you. And finally thank you for letting me work nearly a full shift before telling me how much you like me, don't have a bad word to say about me, and you're really happy with all my work but the company and I "aren't a very good fit for each other anymore".5
Like most people I needed some extra cash during uni, so I proceeded to learn CSS + Photoshop (yeah, I know). Followed by PHP and WordPress.
It can be a very shitty platform until you realize that you can stop combining plug-ins from all over the place with dubious code quality and roll your own.
Anyhow I kept at it until I was able to join a niche company doing a quite popular caching plug-in for WP (yeah, W3 Total) when I suddenly became *very* interested in anything and everything performance.
This landed me a very cozy consulting gig in the Nordics - they were using WP for an elephant-traffic website and had run into a myriad of perf issues.
Fixing them and breaking the monolith awarded me with skills in nodejs, linux, asynchronous caching among others.
I was soon in charge with managing the dev boxes for the entire team, and when the main operations dude left, I was promoted to owning the entire platform. (!) Tinkering with Linux for most of my life really came in handy here. (remember Debian potato?)
Used saltstack + aws cloudformation to achieve full parity between all environments. Learned myself some python and all various tips and tricks which in the end amounted to 90% reduction in time-to-first-byte and considerable cost savings.
By the end of the 2yr contract I had turned myself into a fullstack systems engineer and never looked back.
Lawyers not getting along resulted in us having to abandon NewRelic, so I got to learn and deploy the ELK stack as a homegrown replacement, which was super-fun.
Now I work in the engineering effectiveness department of a Swedish fintech unicorn where all languages under the Sun are an option (tho we prefer Python), so the tech stack is unlimited. Infinite tools and technologies, but with strong governing principles and with performance always in mind so as to pick the right tool for the job.
It's like that childhood feeling when you've just dumped a ton of Lego on the floor and are about to build something massive.
I guess the morale here is however disappointed you feel by your current stack - don't. Always strive to make things better, faster, more decoupled, easier to test, etc. and always challenge yourself to go outside the comfort zone.6
So I am at the client's location for onsite consultation of their projects.
The HoD asked me to create an application to accept feedbacks from multiple points urgently. Although I was there just for consulting, I thought why not, I am anyway getting bored here.
So after explaining the functionality, she asked me, when can she accept a working app. I told her that it would depend upon a lot of factors, so give me till evening to figure it out.
When she insisted I told her, that it can take at least a month with all the APIs, logins, UI, QA etc. She was surprised and told me that she expected it in 4 days since the requirements can be fit into a single page of her notebook. (That's how she measures project duration).
I told her it's impossible, given that I am the only one working on it. So she told me that her team can do it in two days. I probably have more experience than her entire team combined, but still I thought they might know some simple magic or faster way, that I might not, so I asked her to discuss with the team and then decide.
After explaining the requirements, when she mentioned that it should be done in 2 days, everyone was kinda frozen. One of them said that it's going to take at least 4 months.
I couldn't hide my smirk 😉2
So mum wanted me to purchase her a new lettop.
Yeah, we just spoke.
While consulting on what she needs, I noticed that little flaw. So I gently told her :"mum, it's written with an A".
Mom goes:" aaaah! A LAB-TOP!"
Could not blame her. She made her life as first best scoring woman in business degree at her time.
And sure enough she understood laptop and we laughed a lot ='D2
This big multi-million consulting company hired me as freelance. They did it in a hurry, because "the project already started, it is a very important client (a bank) and we need your expertise by YESTERDAY".
In the first THREE WEEKS I had meetings with their own project managers, their client's project managers, techies, sales people. No one was able to tell me what do I have to do, but:
1 - they asked me for very detailed estimates plus a release plan
2 - f**k your estimates, we need this BY JANUARY 16th5
Worst part of being a dev?
THERE'S A NEW FREAKIN FRAMEWORK EVERYDAY.
Where are we supposed to get time to learn everything the job applications require? And even worst, have 2 years of experience with the thing?
And how about when developing a responsive dynamic website? If you are crazy, like me, and you are the kind of dev that always wants to deliver something great, customized to the needs of your client, and that doesn't smell bootstrappy, you probably can't stand too when people ask you about time guesstimates. Especially when you are the ONLY DEV in your company.
Also, our gear is EXPENSIVE.
Sorry, I guess I'm stressed... Had to bring some work home, due to the bosses deciding to deliver a project one week early to the client, without consulting me first.
Still, luckily for me, all this bullshit can't take my love of coding away.4
In a UAT meeting with representatives of our project partners,
The account executive, who set up the project, said to my PM in front of everyone just before the test started: "I hope your system won't fail, because everyone here will be watching"
My PM: "No it won't. But in that case, I believe it's your fault for setting an unrealistic deadline without consulting us, the development team, first"
All the representatives, being also developers from multiple companies, proceeded to stare at her with disgust.2
Worked with a European consulting company to integrate some shared business data (aka. calling a service).
VP of IT called an emergency meeting (IT managers, network admins) deeply concerned about the performance of the international web site since adding our services.
VP: “The partner’s site is much slower than ours. Only common piece that could cause that is your service.”
Me: “Um, their site is vastly different than ours. I don’t think we can compare their performance to ours.”
VP: “Performance is #1! I need your service fixed ASAP!”
Me: “OK, but what exactly is slow? How did you measure their site? The servers are in Germany”
VP: “I measured performance from my house last night.”
Me: “Did you use an application?”
VP: “<laughs> oh no, I was at home. When I opened the page, I counted one Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi, then the page displayed.”
Me: “Wow…um…OK…uh…how long does our page take to load?”
VP: “Two Mississippi’s”
Me: “Um…wow…OK…wow…uh, no, we don’t measure performance like that, but I’ll work with our partners and develop a performance benchmark to determine if the shared service is behaving differently.”
VP: “Whatever it is, the service is slow. Bill, what do you think is slowing down the service?”
NetworkAdmin-Bill: “The Atlantic Ocean?”
VP got up and left the meeting.2
Dumb ad poster strikes again. They provide “Venture Debt and Tax Credit Consulting Services” using CSS. Oh golly!2
The best decision I ever made was moving from a big company to a very small one.
I used to work for a large international consulting firm in the model development team. Everything moved so slowly, there were huge amounts of pointless meetings and other time-sinks, we were surrounded by people who were being paid a lot of money but added little or no value, and the general atmosphere of the company was quite depressing. We spent more time having to make PowerPoint presentations for senior management trying to explain why you can't just hire 100 devs and have a product 100 times faster than we actually did developing a product.
I took a bit of a risk and moved to become the fourth person (and second developer) at a niche software producer to take over product innovation and lead product development. Immediately I felt so much happier and realised how much the previous company had worn me down. Everyone works hard and efficiently because your individual output is so much more important to the success of the company and the work you put in comes back to you financially without being syphoned by layers of valueless management levels or time-wasters.
Having responsibility, seeing the impact of your own work and being rewarded accordingly is so important for your sense of well-being. I urge you all to try it if you're stuck in a big company that's wearing you down. And if you're considering moving from a small company to a big one: don't.3
Someone I know lost a job opportunity to an indian "consulting firm" later to be approached by the developers of said firm to help with a joke of a compensation.
This is glorious and one of the primary reasons why I hate trying to freelance.
Just imagine having an email with a thousand "Sir, please give how to do .....sir please this sir please that"
I was supporting a legacy CRM app which front end used Visual Basic 6 and almost the entire business logic was written on SQL store procedures.
A "feature" of the product was the open code, anyone with admin access could modify forms, code and store procedures.
We also sold "official" (and expensive) consulting services to modify the code.
A long time customer owned this thing and it was heavily customized. They had hired us to change something, hired a third party to make other changes and decided to modify some stuff themselves because, why not?
Suddenly they came to product support asking to fix a bug. The problem happened on a non customized form.
After reviewing, I realized the form used several of the modified store procedures in the business layer. I tried saying we don't support custom code but my boss was being pushed and said "look into it"
All 3 parties denied responsibility and said their changes were NOT the problem (of course). Neither of them commented or documented their changes.
The customer started to threaten to sue us.
I spent 5 full days following every field on the form through the nested and recurrent SQL store procedures and turns out it was a very simple error. A failed insert statement.
I was puzzled of why the thing didn't throw any error even while debugging. Turns out in SQL 2003 (this was a while ago) someone used a print line statement and SQL stopped throwing errors to the console. I can only assume "printing" in SQL empties the buffered error which would be shown in the console.
I removed the print statement and the error showed up, we fixed it and didn't get sued
You utter &@£#s. You give rediclious promises to clients without consulting Devs how long items will take, when issues with project are clarified with client months in advance you turn around week before last and do a massive U turn. Expect junior developers to be masters of Photoshop, flash, server side technologies and to get around and code the front end. Then developers who are putting in the over time already you demand a massive load of overtime extra and threaten us if we don't meet the deadline?! Sat here blood boiling. last guy here litrually rage quit because of issues like this and #&## I think I'm going to too, so hard to try stay professional! ##&##&# I have had it!2
I had the most depressing realization last night after I spent a good chunk of the day answering questions on Stack Overflow.
I can usually understand their code, I often understand their questions, and I know how to help and when to recommend that they completely change direction. I'm effectively trying to mentor total strangers using a few code samples and paragraphs. I'm happy to do that, and I'm good at it.
Then I realized - these people all have programming challenges of their own to solve. I work for a so-called "consulting" agency where I sit around for weeks because they have nowhere to put me. When they do find me a client it's some company that has no idea how to develop software and no interest in how I can help. They just want to add another developer into the giant mess they've created to keep doing what they're already doing. I'm still using any of the skills I put to work all day long helping people on Stack Overflow.
In other words, the people who need my help figuring out how to write code actually have the jobs writing code, and I don't. Clearly I'm doing something wrong.
Ironically, when I go to one of these companies with a lead developer who doesn't know how to write a unit test or put together three lines of coherent code, that person tells me to just follow what everyone else is doing without making any improvements. Then he goes on Stack Overflow to figure out how to do his job, and chances are I'm the one answering his questions.
As my wife always reminds me, I work in air conditioning so I shouldn't complain. It's a stable company with nice people and it pays the bills. But I sure would like to develop some software in my software development job instead of treating it like a personal hobby.7
I might be fucked up, but I have a tendency to gravitate towards the shit that everyone else dislikes for the sake of knowing if their bias against is actually because shit is truly fucked up or if shit is legit plain WRONG.
From all technologies that I have worked with professionally I can count:
Java(currently in the form of old JSP services for an "enterprise level application")
Java for Android development - i was the lead engineer for a mobile project
Swift with IOS dev, same gig as the above.
C++ for Android development in the form of OpenCV with Java as well.
Clojure for an ldap active directory application
Python for glue scripts
Classic ASP with JScript and VBScript
VB Net forms
C# For ASP.NET MVC
Bootstrap for multiple intranet frontends
Node+Express for a logistics warehouse management tool
Ruby on Rails freelancing small gigs
Php in all ways possible from complete standalone php apps to Laravel and just php+composer apps aaaaall the way to wordpress
My wife is sick, my infant daughter is teething, and my toddler son won't stop begging for fruit snacks. I haven't slept more than 4 hours in the last 48 hours.
And now, I have to work on my weekend, since our division refuses to say "No, that wasn't in the scope of work" to another business unit and put them in their place. They're lucky they're getting the feature they requested 6 weeks from launch _at all_, let alone with the extras that they requested 4 weeks from launch. Now it's on my shoulders to fix this bullshit because they won't pony up extra budget to pay the external dev shop we used (who failed to implement said features in a timely fashion) to fix this shit.
I really need to get my business shit together and start consulting on my terms. Working for other people can suck a fuck.4
Unemployed since September
Depressed as fuck until last two weeks
Found a consulting agency which is actively trying to find me a good job.
Just finished a technical test for one of the biggest internet / mobile connection provider in France, feeling proud of myself and all I've accomplished while training alone totally sad for the past few months, not giving up.
Being a developer with very few experience is hard while giving up is easy.
But where's the challenge if you play the game in easy mode?
Decided to see things differently from now on, STAYING POSITIVE AT LEAST 90% OF TIMES.11
I'm out of my mind bored. I'm an unemployed person with a great job. You'd think this would be awesome. It's torture.
I work for a consulting company. I get paid whether or not they have work for me. They haven't for several months. I'm not hearing anything. I don't know when it will change.
I'm a skilled developer in a few very popular languages - nothing remotely in the ballpark of old or obsolete. I hear that's in demand. I spend most of my time answering questions on Stack Overflow. I really like to help people, but it boggles my mind that the people struggling with the stuff I help them with all have actual work to do and I don't.
I like to learn about new stuff, but I'm just not interested in learning another framework or anything else to add to the giant pile of stuff I'm already not using. It's not fun anymore.
I don't want to do another side project, either. I have a job as a software developer. That should, at some point, involve developing some software.
This is sucking the life out of me. It's harder and harder to get out of bed and come to work. I've held off looking for another job because I'm hoping this will change. The people here are great. I could go somewhere else and it could suck for completely different reasons.
Ironically, this is close to the reason why I left my last job. Ten years ago I went through a spell where I just gave up and stopped coming to work for over a month. No one noticed. Other people were stressed about getting laid off. Some of them were. Not me.
Am I part of some weird experiment to see how insane someone can go in this totally screwed-up circumstance? Are people following me around with cameras?
I'd love to find something else, but by all outward appearances I had already found an awesome place to work. There's only one thing missing - the work.
Thanks for listening. I'm just going to put my head on my desk for a while and despair. What is wrong with this industry? We're a mess on so many levels.12
A back-end developer at my company thinks CSS is easy, tries to fix some styling by himself without consulting front-end developers and messes up the styling of multiple web apps that rely on those styles. The next Jira ticket related to fixing those styles is, of course, assigned to me (with the highest priority)...
One of the worst guys I've worked with was a guy from Romania that got at consulting gig where I used to work. He didn't have an apartment at first, so one of the senior guys let him live at his house to get going. He repaid that favor by drinking all the wine in the house, leaving glasses everywhere. He also sang opera on the front porch early in the morning disturbing all the neighbours.
At work he spent more time outside smoking his strong foreign sigarettes than inside coding. One day he just disappeared, and no one could get a hold of him on the phone or email. Days turned to weeks, and our manager ended up sending him an email saying "I don't know where you went, but don't bother coming back".
The best part of this story is that when we were hiring the next time, he actually applied. You know what he wrote? "I'M BETTER NOW".. 😂😂
(The sad thing is that the code he wrote wasn't half bad, but the guy? Jesus. We just called him Vlad. Don't know his real name to this date)1
So I found this consulting job a while ago thinking that some extra cash while studying would be nice to have.
I meet with the guy, a researcher trying to start a business up, good for him I think, maybe we'll hit it off, continue working, why not? Except he has no clue how to write working code, all he ever did was writing matlab scripts he says, thats why he hired me he says.
Okay, fine, you do your job I do mine.
He hands me the contract, its about comparing two libraries, finding out which one is better suited for his job, cool, plots and graphs everywhere.
Except this is an unpaid job. YOU WHAT?! It's a test job. FINE. At least it'll look good on my resume.
We talk about the paid part where I'm supposed to scale the two libraries, looks good, as expected from an ML engineering perspective. It comes to payment. The dude has no idea how taxes work, says he has a set amount to pay and not a penny more. I explain with examples how taxes are paid, how you get reimbursed for them and so on. Won't budge. Screws me over.
Opens the door for other jobs I think, he'll learn next time I think and take the job.
Fast forward a month, 90% of the job done, he adds a third thing to compare. Gives a github link to a repo with 2 authors, last commit a year ago. There are links to a 404, claiming compiled jars. Fuck.
Not my first rodeo, git clone that shit, make compile, the works. The thing uses libs that ain't in no repo, that would be too easy. Run, error, find lib, remake all the things, rinse repeat.
The scripts they got have hardcoded paths and filenames for 2 year old binaries, remake that shit.
It works, at least I get a prompt now. Try the example files they got, no luck, some missing unlinked binary somewhere, but not a name mentioned. Cross reference the shit outta the libs mentioned on readme, find the missing shit, down it.
Available versions are too new, THE MOLDING NUTCRACKER uses some bug in an old version of the lib.
I give up. Fuck this. This ain't worth the money OR time. Wanker...
This was not exactly the worst work culture because the employees, it was because the upper level of the organization chart on the IT department.
I'm not quite sure how to translate the exact positions of that chart, but lets say that there is a General Manager, a couple of Area Managers (Infrastructure, Development), some Area Supervisors (2 or 3, by each area), and the grunts (that were us). Anyway, anything on the "Manager" was the source of all the toxicity on the department.
First and foremost, there was a lack of training for almost any employee. We were expected to know everything since day-1. Yes, the new employees had a (very) brief explanation about the technologies/languages were used, but they were expected to perform as a senior employee almost since the moment they cross the door. And forget about having some KT (Knowledge Transfer) sessions, they were none existent and if they existed, were only to solve a very immediate issue (now imagine what happened when someone quit*).
The general culture that they have to always say "yes" to the client/customer to almost anything without consulting to the development teams if that what was being asked to do was doable, or even feasible. And forget about doing a proper documentation about that change/development, as "that was needed yesterday and it needs to be done to be implemented tomorrow" (you know what I mean). This contributes to the previous point, as we didn't have enough time to train someone new because we had this absurd deadlines.
And because they cannot/wanted to say "NO", there were days when they came with an amount of new requirements that needed to be done and it didn't matter that we had other things to do. And the worst was that, until a couple of years (more or less), there was almost impossible to gather the correct requirements from the client/user, as they (managers) "had already" that requirement, and as they "know better" what the user wants, it was their vision what was being described on the requirements, not the users'...
And all that caused that, in a common basis, didn't have enough time to do all this stuff (mainly because the User Support) causing that we needed to do overtime, which almost always went unpaid (because a very ambiguous clause of the contract, and that we were "non-union workers"**). And this is my favorite point of this list, because, almost any overtime went unpaid, so basically we were expected to be working for free after the end of the work day (lets say, after the 17:00). Leaving "early" was almost a sin for the managers, as they always expected that we give more time to work that the indicated on the contract, and if not, they could raise a report to HR because the ambiguous clause allowed them to do it (among other childish things that they do).
Finally, the jewel of the crown, is that they never, but never acknowledge that they made a mistake. Never. That was impossible! If something failed on the things/systems/applications that they had assigned*** it was always our fault.
- "A report for the Finance Department is giving wrong information? It's the DBA's fault**** because although he manages that report, he couldn't imagine that I have an undocumented service (that runs before the creation the report) crashed because I modified a hidden and undocumented temporal table and forgot to update that service."
But, well, at least that's on the past. And although those aren't all the things that made that workplace so toxic, for me those were the most prominent ones.
* Well, here we I live it's very common to don't say anything about leaving the company until the very last day. Yes, I know that there are people that leave their "2-days notice", but it's not common (IMHO, of course). And yes, there are some of us that give a 1 or 2-weeks notice, but still it's not a common practice.
** I don't know how to translate this... We have a concept called "trusted employee", which is mainly used to describe any administrative employee, and that commonly is expected to give the 110% of what the contract says (unpaid overtimes, extra stuff to do, etc) and sadly it's an accepted condition (for whatever reasons). I chose "non-union workers" because in comparison with an union worker, we have less protections (besides the legal ways) regarding what I've described before. Curiously, there are also "operative workers", that doesn't belong to an union, but they have (sometimes) better protections that the administrative ones.
*** Yes, they were in charge of several systems, because they didn't trust us to handle/maintain them. And I'm sure that they still don't trust in their developers.
**** One of the managers, and the DBA are the only ones that handle some stuff (specially the one that involves "money"). The thing that allows to use the DBA as scapegoat is that such manager have more privileges and permissions than the DBA, as he was the previous DBA2
Nope, definitely not going to work for that customer anymore. Fuck this shit. At least for this week.
My background: mid-30 years old, some kind of business & IT consultant / lead dev working for a mid sized CRM consulting company, with approx 15 years of experience in development and software architecture, most of the time "thinking" in C#, still learning new languages, being a cloud evangelist and team lead. We usually have customers with customers (B2B/B2C).
Personality type "campaigner" (ENFP-A).
Today the project lead of my client (a big corporation in the energy industry) told me that he still didn't order all the necessary resources for the cloud project. Just to be clear: He's on the client side. We (the architects, one internal and me) told him one month ago what we need for the beginning. Just a few things - an Azure subscription, a license for the CRM platform, and our dev tools.
And now let's guess when the project is planned to begin? Yeah, right: 1st of April. NO APRIL'S FOOL. And guess what? Next Tuesday we'll do the onboarding for the new (external) devs, and NOTHING will be ready. Yeah, just let us build stuff in our minds, and on the whiteboards, because it's an AGILE project, right? We don't need any systems and tools...
And now he sent me the questionnaires which need to be answered before any cloud service can be ordered by the corporate IT. And yes, he didn't answer a single thing, and just meant "Those are architecture questions" (they are not) and (of course) "please provide the answers until Monday morning, so we can FINALLY order the services."
Yeah, you fucktard. Of course it's MY FAULT now. Maybe I should write an email to your boss asking how we can speed things up a little bit...4
Q: How many management consultants does it take to finish a project specification?
A: Infinite. And this is not even funny.
I've been been in consulting doing systems implementations for about a decade. I just started a new e-commerce project with perhaps the most agreeable client I've ever encountered - in fact they're extremely eager to make my job easier. Just today one of the stakeholders, completely seriously, uttered the phrase "maybe we don't need to care about IE".
After ten years living thru every client cliche imaginable over and over again I now find I don't know how to trust. Their acceptance of best practices and my recommendations is almost unnerving...3
My most ridiculous experience with a recruiter was when I went to an interview in a top 5 consulting company. In the first interview they told me that I was great. In the second interview they told me that I was great, and in the third interview they told me that they loved me but that I was overqualified for the job they were offering.
tl;dr I was too good, so they rejected me.1
I work in a consulting firm.
I started right after graduation. I entered with candy glasses. Thinking is all well and ready to climb the ladder.
I entered as a junior developer.
On my first project, i am constantly belittled by my team lead. To the extent i suffer from ptsd.
On my second project, i am the only dev. I am amaze i manage to handle all the development job by myself for a year. Still i get nasty comments from my boss. Despite i am able to deliver on time.
On my third project. i left due to office politics.
Currently i am in my fourth project. The code is complete mess. The development environment is crappy. It doesn't reflect change right away.
My passion has dried up.
I'm seriously giving thoughts, should i switch career path.13
Big IT consulting company ask us (small web agency) to develop the "html" code for a web app for their client. (They'll want the front-end to implement it in Cordova or other shit tools they use).
I had to use some "includes" in php, for header and footer, because for 50 pages it'll be tedious to edit a thing (the design is not definitive yet) without open all the .html files individually and replicate the edits in all the pages.
We've delivered the package containing all the pages and a "inc" folder for the header and the footer. The pages have the extension *.php
Their pm ask us why we didn't do it in html, since they expected that.
What the fuck is wrong with you?5
My best career choice: After 5 longass years, left a multinational consulting firm that constantly reminded me of my insignificance. Joined a small company to work on their flagship app. Learning sooo much.
Worst: NOT LEAVING THE CODE MONKEY SWEATSHOP SOON ENOUGH. ENDURING PAIN != WORKING HARD. THERE'S A PROBLEM WHEN SENIOR DEVS IN YOUR COMPANY ONLY UNDERSTAND PROCEDURAL PROGRAMMING. MANAGERS ONLY CARED ABOUT HOW MANY HOURS DEVS LOGGED WHICH TREATED A COGNITIVE INTENSIVE TASK AS MANUAL LABOR.2
My last day at my current company and damn, I couldn‘t be happier. Consulting was the worst decision I ever made and from tomorrow on I‘ll be free.
No more lying to clients, no more pushing of horrible products, no more silence towards problems because they didn‘t pay for a more expensive service.
I can finally stop hating myself for my job!4
about 6 years ago I was working for a large consulting company on a government project. I put in a change for a stored procedure that hard coded the partition to 0, except 0 didn't exist on production, just on test. several thousand government employees couldn't access it for a day. 😞
Hi, what is the average salary of developers in your country.
For me : i'm junior UI/UX designer and front end developer in Paris, working for Parisian digital consulting agency 35hrs a week
Annual salary 30k €
Adding to this :
Daily meal ticket 8,8€
50% of transport ticket's price is refunded
And many other stuffs and don't even remember.
Knowing that Paris is an expensive city.
How about you people ?25
I work as a consultant and my company wanted to send me on an engagement at a client who's main product is a well known online coding course. Their whole product is teaching lay people how to code. They decided the night before I was going to start that they didn't want me consulting with them because I "didn't have a CS degree."🤔
(PS: Their head of curriculum was actually a mentor and teacher of mine instrumental in my becoming a programmer...)
I was 5 years old. My dad had just bought a Commodore 64. For the first few months, I just play games on it. But then I was watching a kids show, where they had kids showing off how they could program the computer. I was instantly in awe, And asked my mom to take me to the library the next day that I could pick out a book on computer programming. Fast forward to high school: It was 1995 and the movie "Hackers" had just hit theatres. I was in my freshman year and I met a bunch of kids who called themselves hackers. I learned a few tricks from them, went and saw the movie (terrible as it was in retrospect) and inspired me to pursue hacking as a career. At present I work for cyber security firm in Toronto as a DevOps Engineer, helping to build tools that will help developers write more secure code. On my 10% time at work by often take on consulting tasks and get a chance to sit in on pentests.2
I started programming when I was 14, because I was deeply enrooted in MMORPG hacking communities. It gave me an escape from real life, and I felt empowered by the skill to create something from nothing. My first language was Lazarus FPC, followed by VB.NET, C#, C++ ( managed and unmanaged non CLR ). As time went on, I found more ways to turn my "hacks" into software, and finally I began selling subscriptions which required me writing an authentication system.
After weeks of research, I began writing my own REST API in PHP using MySQL as my database. At this point I had an IPB forum up and running for a year, but with my newly acquired knowledge I was able to couple my API with my forum software. To properly distribute my API i had to learn NGINX to route my API to a subdomain.
Soon after I began writing my own portal for my authentication system, at which point I had become entirely enveloped in Web Development. I was 17 when I dropped my forum, I'm now 21 and freelancing web app consulting, day job as a QA automation developer.
In my previous company we developed a CRM web app for the company to use internally and it was in my humble opinion really easy to make sense of, but for some freaking we kept getting calls whenever someone got an error, and our default response was always to send us an email, then we will get back to you, as it was mostly stupid things they called about, for example, a customer might have to be status terminated, before you can click button A, button A would then be disabled and employees would call asking why. Apparently, people got annoyed by our response and went to the management, to get some guidelines as to when they could call the "development apartment" for help, so the management sends out some guidelines as to when they could call, write or whatever... The following was done without consulting us in any way ANY WAY AT ALL!... Because we all know management knows fucking best, and why bother asking the people that sit with it every day, and the way it was done was by saying:
If the background color on your error is red, it means the error is fatal and you can call the developers immediately, if its orange send an email and they will answer within 48 hours LIKE WTF... Seriously???. That was basically it, and honestly we had just been using colors, without much thought to it ofc red, was an error etc. But they we're not "OMG EVERYTHING IS BREAKING" alert, so we decided to use a couple of hours refactoring the color of the flash errors, and after that, we did not have many red alerts(None, yes none what so ever) We changed all the red ones to orange, and introduced some new colors. That worked for some time around 6 months or so, but then people obviously started calling again like, why even bother... So we created a simple service desk, blocked all incoming calls to our phones that were from regular employees, heard a lot of complaints about this from the employees, management was mad, we had so many meetings with those top paid management fuckers that know everything (way better than you and me), about how to handle this. As it took way too much of our time, that people couldn't bother trying simple things, or make some sense as to why a button is disabled etc. We ended up "winning", was allowed to block calls for some time, till the employees had learned to use a freaking simple service desk, it's not fucking rocket science Okay, stop being a pain in the ass... And it actually fucking worked! Most relaxing time after people got a hang of using the service desk instead of calling life was good after that... <3
You guys ever get "Project Zoned"?
When you've been consulting with a client for the past few weeks and then in the end they say "I've decided I'm not going to move forward because it's better for me, blah blah blah. But if I did you'd be the person to do it."
But you spent all that time trying to close the project that seemed so attainable at the time, thinking about the money you could be making. Then you get hit with that shit stick.
For my second major task in my new job I've been asked to remake a site (only about 10-12 pages) from scratch in 4 days. No chance of iterations or fixes, no consulting or design time. The brief says things like "make headers jump out" "make it prettier but smart" "make the font informal but classy". I've got 12 hours to finish it before the company loses a big client.
Boss isn't a developer at all and thinks this is easy. I "should be done by now."4
I work for a consulting company, my boss comes into the room full of engineers trying to work on Adwords campaign and asks us what words to use. "Should I use blockchain, I heart that's popular. What about AR?" None of us have ever touched any of those technologies and he's going to try and market us as such to some poor potential client he's going to B.S to. Get me out of here.2
Saw new issue on jira. When look, they are like my computer is slow or I cannot any buttons in Excel.
For fuck sake, don't send stupid tickets, we already got stupid projects the company took from the others without consulting to the IT team.
There are about 600 tickets every month and most of them are issue because of their stupidity not the software (they never read the error message). And no we are not IT support, go ask those ppl for your computer issue.1
"Don't fall for the hype. A lot of ideas, groups and methodologies are basically cults trying to advertise their consulting services. While I have no problem with that, just remember that when you run into one of these guys and they are quick to shit on the alternatives to their way (and those who built them) to always be very suspicious."
We had the opportunity to meet 2 very bright people who were heads of their respective communities in a similar area. They were both talking a lot of shit, and getting kinda harsh.
A brilliant dev I worked with, who knew both people for years, took me aside and told me this.
Some cults have cool shit, just don't drink the kool-aid
How much do you earn for your skill set in your country vs your cost of living?
See how much I & others earn.
Recently I became aware of just how massive the gap in developers earnings are between countries. I'd love to calculate a fixed score for income vs cost of living.
I know this stuff is sensitive to some so if you prefer just post your score (avg income p/m after tax / cost of living).
I'm not shy so I'll go first:
Normal Rate (Long term): $23
Consulting / Short term: $30-$74
Pen Test: $1500 once off.
Pen Test Fixes: consulting rate.
Simple work/websites: min $400+
Family & Friends: Dev friends are usually free (when mutually beneficial). Family and others can fuck off, even if they can pay (I pass their info to dev friends with fair warning).
Experience: 9 years
Country: South Africa
Developer rareness in country: Very Rare (+-90 job openings per job seeker).
Middle class wage in country: $1550 p/m (can afford a new car, decent apartment & some luxuries like beer/eating out).
Employment type: Permanent though I can and do freelance occasionally.
Client Locality: Mostly local.
Developer Type: Web Developer (True web dev - I do anything web related from custom HTTP servers to sockets, services, advanced browser api's, apps & more).
STACKS / SKILLSETS
I'M PROFICIENT IN:
I DABBLE WITH:
ASP.net, C++, ruby, GO, nginx, tesseract
application architecture, automation, integrations, db's, real time data, advanced browser apps/extensions (webRTC, canvas etc).
Avg income p/m after tax: $2250
Cost of living (car+rent+food): $1200
*Note: For integrity when calculating my cost of living I excluded debt repayments and only kept my necessities which are transport, food & shelter.
I really hope you guy's post your results, it would be great to get an idea of which is really the worst / best country to be a developer in.20
When a client starts making decisions and planning without consulting the lead architect of the software.2
So IBM finally jettisoned the cancer that was Virginia Rometty a few weeks back. They had an opportunity to move fresh blood and solid managerial background into the top slot with Jim Whitehurst (Redhat) and try and recover their flagging market share and do some sane business strategy. They passed on that opportunity and instead appointed the old guard bootlicker who overpaid for Redhat to the tune of 20x what it was worth, and signalled their intent to continue staying the course of the Titanic and it's slow inevitable trek towards the bottom of the ocean. The board wants a yes man, and they got one.
This is basically what I assumed would happen, but I have some other predications as well:
- Whitehurst will leave to a better company
- the redhatters that haven't already left will be replaced with commodity labor
- Redhat will be the least stable Linux offering 2 years after the last hatter leaves
- they will sell off most of their existing software assets to HCL/ similar consulting partners like they did with domino and websphere to stem the bleed
- the displaced in that move will either quit or be replaced
- their cloud initiative will collapse under the weight of its own stagnation and glacial pace of development
- they will attempt to salve these wounds by moving focus to global services, reducing profit loss by cutting salary costs, further diluting their eroding ability to innovate
- they'll buy at least one other trendy software company at ridiculous valuation, and sell it off within 2 years at a massive loss
- the CEO slot will start to resemble the late Roman empire with a new CEO every other week
- Redhat assets will be sold to Google inside of 5 years
Last prediction: I will be overjoyed being able to witness the death of IBM in my lifetime. Fuck them 🍻8
Sometimes life takes unexpected turns:
I studied mechanical engineering and did some "computer stuff" in my free time, you know, "programming" with Java, toyed around with HTML/CSS/PHP a few years ago, some local server stuff with a raspberry pi, nothing fancy.
Half a year ago i got hired as engineer first but they said they needed an "IT Guy" also.
What i did since then
*Researching, Testing and Planning the introduction of an ERP software
*Planning, coordinating and (partially) setting up a new server for the company (actually two cause redundancy (heavy lifting got done by our IT partner, its not like i suddenly know how to do the entire windows server administration)
*Writing 3 minor tools for some guys in the company in java
*Creating numereous excel vba scripts that make work a lot easier
*doing all the day to day business that comes up when absolutly noone know how to use a pc in the company
*consulting the boss about webshops and websites in general and finding a decent partner
*and some engineering
Did i mentioned that i studied mechanical engineering? I know nothing about all this, or rather, i know enough to know that i know not enough.
My current side project is creating a small intranet, so creating a new VM in Hyper V, setting up some OS (probably slim CentOS), getting a Webserver running and making it somewhat secure. Then i need to create some content, i am very close to just install a mediawiki and call it a day. If i write anything in PHP i fear that i make way to many erros or just reinvent the wheel, on the other hand, i couldnt find anything resembling what i need. I also had to create the front end side, i knew CSS around 2010, there is probably tons of stuff i dont know and i will make so many errors.
This is frustrating, everything i touch feels like i am venturing the beaten path but noone ever showed me the ropes so everything i do feels like childs play. I need an adult. Also the biggest Question remains: What i am?1
So, our company is taking up some consulting projects to survive this pandemic since our main business is a little down. I've been assigned to a RN project and the client company has 2 other devs. Those devs are so incompetent that they don't even know the basics of JS and RN. They don't even understand how to split code into components and make it resusable. Okay, fine they must be new devs. I get it but can't you even fucking follow the instructions and guidelines that I'm giving you!! The code is very bad with a lot of pitfalls. In the first 2 weeks I reviewed all the code they were writing and gave comments for improvements. They didn't even care to do that! Now I've given up!
Every single day looking at the codebase makes me sick and not want to touch anything. I've practically started hating the project. How do I deal with this situation? Now, we are reaching the deadline and they're piling up the work on me. Any suggestions on how to handle this?
P.S: This is my first actual rant!6
I'm doing a job for an advertising agency together with a designer and he sent a few mockups to the client without copying me or telling me he was doing it at all.
Then, suddenly, I receive a 1.5GB zip with a message saying: "client approved, here's everything".
Now I'm really pissed-off because:
- He told me he sent everything, but no images for headers, no text, nothing, nada besides the placeholders on the PSDs;
- It was 1.5gb for only 7 mockups (all other screens I think I'll have to get by osmosis);
- Designer and the client don't know shit about HTML/CSS/WordPress and took tons of decisions without consulting me (lots of impossible features);
- These mockups should've been sent to me last week because...;
- ...he **fucking promised** the client I'd deliver the project by Apr. 2nd;
But what leaves me pretty pissed off about it is that Mar. 30th is my birthday and, also, it's holiday in Brazil (Passion of Christ).
I'm not that religious, but I really wanted to rest and forget about the stress that's been building up in the last 3 months thanks to (not really) "good" work.
I'm pretty sure this prick and the client will spend this "extended" weekend somewhere having fun and resting while I'll have to build this piece of crap.
FML, for real.
I should have done something REALLY bad in a previous life to receive this.5
Don't you just love it when a department buys a software for the company without consulting IT and Data Management departments? You know to discuss integration, flexibility, compatibility and all that?
Don't you love it even more when the users of this new software then complain about the different tools that have to learn and the workflow being completely scattered?
But hey, they work in administration, so I'm sure they know what they are doing. ⚡⚡⚡4
things are looking up for me fam. signed an offer letter about a month ago for a GREAT full time job at a company that's in the process of modernizing their web app, so I get to do modern web dev, and I just scored my first consulting job that's gonna pay me a STUPID amount of money and I don't even graduate college till May!3
Consulting/contracting for a company, and their lead developer/ops guy quits without warning. This leaves me as the only one with the somewhat technical know how but without access to do anything to move any changes to production....4
Non-coding Project Managers who take on projects without consulting their developers on the possibility/ impossibility of a project have a special place in hell.2
So the story. I got a job as an Android developer in a consulting company. I didn't have any certificates and even degree. Just some easy apps on Google Play which I created to combine learning and practice. After 5 Months I got my first client project and company gave me a senior with 6 years of experience so he can teach me. That guy is a complete shit and I have to teach him how to do stuff. So I am doing the most worm in the project. Sometimes I don't even manage with my tasks because I have to fix his code and explain him why so and when it won't work. As a result, the client subestimates me. Makes me work harder and I have 10$/h and him 60$/h. What shall I do ?3
Here is a story about 5 years of my life.
My studies had little to do with web. I did embedded systems (architecture and software) but quickly realized that I couldn't see myself living my life in my homecoutry and that my degree would be worth little to no more than shit elsewhere in the world. That was on my 3rd year in uni.
I liked coding so I decided to pursue computer science, then web development. For that, your degree mattered little.
From then on, when I wasn't in class I was doing some coding.
This allowed me to get short (2 months) internships in Mobile and web development, 4 in total.
Doing so I had made it so that my professors would allow me to do my graduation project in web and mobile dev. That project having ended, I secured a long (1year and a half) internship in Mumbai India doing web for a big consulting company. Having finished that I headed to Belgium for my current job. All with having no to little financial resources except what I could come up with.
"I'm proud of all the efforts it took to make it" is what I think sometimes but what is it that I made? I realized my first objective which is to be on the international job market, but now that I genuinely love software I realize that I didn't really make anything I can be proud of working as a consultant. And having worked on many things but not a lot on practically anything, it's getting hard to do something else.
I'm hoping for devranters insight on how I should proceed.1
So I work for an IT consulting firm (web development) and was hired by a customer 7 months ago for coaching Git, implementation of VueJS on the front-end and fostering teamwork with devs who'd been in their solo comfort zone for the last 15 years.
I asked for confirmation multiple times on whether they were sure they wanted to go through with a bigger investment in front-end. Confirm they did, multiple times.
After half the team's initial enthusiasm faded (after 1 month), the 'senior' of them who's worked there for 18 years on a single -in the end, failed- project got a burn-out after half a week of showing up (without doing actual work) from the stress, and started whining about it with management that has no technical clue whatsoever. This and other petty office politics lead to the dumbest organizational and technical decisions I've seen in my short 5-year career (splitting a Laravel app that uses the same database in two, replacing docker container deployment with manual ssh'ing and symlinking, duplicating all the models, controllers, splitting a team in two, decreasing productivity, replacing project management dashboards with ad-hoc mail instructions and direct requests).
Out of curiosity I did a git log --author --no-merges with the senior's name on the 2 projects he was supposed to help on, and that turned up... ZERO commits. Now the dept. hired 3 new developers with no prior experience, and it's sad to see the seniors teach them "copy paste" as the developer's main reflex.
Through these 7 months I had to endure increasingly vicious sneers from the IT architect -in name only- who gets offended and hysterical at every person who dares offer suggestions. Her not-so-implicit insinuation is that it's all my fault because I implemented Vue front-end (as they requested), she has been doing this for months, every meeting at least once (and she makes sure other attendees notice). Extra background: She's already had 2 official complaints for verbal abuse in the past, and she just stressed another good developer into smoking again.
Now I present her my timesheet for January, she abuses her power by refusing to sign it unless I remove a day of work.
Earlier this week I asked her politely to please stop her unjust guilt-tripping to which she shouted "You'll just have to cope with that!", and I walked out of the room calmly (in order to avoid losing my nerves). She does this purely as a statement, and I know she does it out of bad faith (she doesn't actually care, as she doesn't manage the budgets). She knows she wields more power over me than the internal devs (I am consultant, so negative reviews for me could delay further salary raises).
I just don't know how to handle this person: I can't get a word in with her, or she starts shouting, and it's impossible to change her (completely inaccurate technological) perception.3
Let's face it: I am and will always be a tinkerer. Yes, I know my ways around, I can sneak into legacy code bases easily and throw new stuff in there, I've seen software stacks. But scarcely sound design, really modular. Even from the cleverer, experienced ones. They can master more complexity, so they can handle more spaghetti. Some essay from the 80's had this grand idea to organically 'grow' software. That's how it looks like most of the times: cancerous, parasitic super fungi (armillaria). Yeah, we all know have to fight bit-rot and entropy, but it was all lost before already. We'll never get rid of legacy protocols, legacy code.
And even when we go green field, start a fresh. Yeah, take a great design, make everything new, after some months of throwing features and outer constraints at the thing, it's the same old mud again.
But we can still dream on: some day I will design great APIs, I will have great test coverage, documentation, UML design, autometed tests, fuzzing, memchecking, I'll work professionally, clean coder style.
Pfft forget it. Maybe change for consulting, because we'll continue to dream of the 'clean' code, so you can sell the next 'recipe', development method. It's like diets. As effective. For the one selling.2
when the project manager asks you if you have an ETA on the project you're trying to finish because deadline is a few hours. You have never done the thing you're trying to complete before so you have no baseline for it and they know that.... nope but you'll be the 2nd person to know when it's done, maybe next time don't promise deadlines without consulting the devs?1
Fucking hours counting systems.
One of the hardest part of consulting job is to put hours into fucking table.
One of those solutions is so smart that when I make mistake I need to call manager to unlock the input.
My friend from work compared it to playing saper.
Some of those systems work only in IE.
Some of those run java inside browser.
Some I need to be in company domain others I need to logout from company domain.
I see the amazing articles about those amazing software solutions, still opening IE and running java to put digit into text input or pick number from select.
I need help and advice!
I currently work as an consultant at a large corporation. Came onboard for 1-2 years to help rebuild one of their platforms. From the beginning the mindset was that the finished product should not be developed based on anything else than customer testimonials and interviews regarding functionality and design. However, they’re building their platform developed and distributed by this other company. Basically they bought a system that is incomplete regarding to being compliant to the specifications brought to them when they decided which system to go with. Now we’re trying to build around all the issue this platform is causing us. The code base for the system is like something a monkey did with their feet. Nothing makes sense and it’s layers on top of layers of 10 year old code. I f-ing hate it. I don’t know what to do. We have some many technical limitation that it’s impossible to create the vision they had from the start.
I’ve been thinking about talking to the highest chief in the department as he has been pissed earlier about project managers not escalating issue to him earlier. But I don’t want to step on anyones toes. Should I leave the project? Should I talk to the chief? What do I do? I’m miserable🤯7
It was on my first year of university. I had to develop an administrative system for a tattoo studio.
But practically the only I did was consulting to db and saving information 😅 and the girl who was the owner of the studio told me that using the system was a wasting of time. It was easier to her do those things handmade
But I learned a lot from that experience
I got enough Today so I marked my linkedin profile with “looking for new opportunities”.
It’s actually cool you can pick up to 5 job positions, location, form of employment and let know only to recruiters not all of your contacts that you are open for a new “opportunities ”.
I picked technical consultant, software architect, technical lead, lead software engineer and principal software engineer.
Time will tell if I will be able to find something better then I am dealing with right now.
Customer I am consulting for is cool but the company I work for went over the years from cool to get the fuck out right now cause we only hire managers and people without any knowledge.
It’s probably cause they hired many people from one company that was acquired, probably those who know everything about nothing.5
That moment when you found out, the "digital PMs" and "digital art directors" who have NO FREAKING CLUE about the limitation of the web... promised the clients fantastical things... at ridiculous timelines... WITHOUT CONSULTING any of the devs... GARGHHHH3
Our company hired a "Human resource consulting" to help with our internal processes and policies. Yesterday they showed us an Excel that we should fill when we travel to attend meetings, events, courses, etc.
This spreadsheet... OH, THIS SPREADSHEET... you should've seen that.
Most of the "labels" of the "fields" were writen with terms that we do not use in our daily basis. The fields were ambiguous. You shout put a number on the Transportation quantity (ex.: 5) but have no space to describe which transport you will use (bus, metro, uber... so... 5 what?). When we asked which name shoud go on the field "superior" (director, pm, scrum master...) the woman from this consulting said "oh, I don't believe you're asking about this" (and since then, she became more rude by the end of the meeting).
We care for quality in our apps, and UI/UX is a big thing in our company. The last thing we want is need to read a f*#1n manual to fill a spreadsheet. Make it intuitive and you will not need an hour and a half to explain how to fill this obsolete form.
It's sad to think that this person was hired to improve our company, but did not bother to understand the company's culture (and values, and terms) first.
Estimating time before consulting the dev on the task he/she will be working on is like pouring the milk in before the cereal. CRINGE.3
A tale of silos, pivots, and mismanagement.
Background: Our consultancy has been working with this client for over a year now. It started with some of our back-end devs working on the API.
We are in Canada. The client is located in the US. There are two other teams in Canada. The client has an overseas company contracted to do the front-end of the app. And at the time we started, there was a 'UX consultancy' also in the US.
I joined the project several months in to replace the then-defunct UX company. I was the only UX consultant on the project at that time. I was also to build out a functional front-end 'prototype' (Vue/Scss) ahead of the other teams so that we could begin tying the fractured arms of the product together.
At this point there was a partial spec for the back-end, a somewhat architected API, a loose idea of a basic front-end, and a smattering of ideas, concepts, sketches, and horrific wireframes scattered about various places online.
At this point we had:
One functional prototype
One back-end Jira board
One front-end Jira board
No task-management for UX
You might get where this is going...
None of the teams had shared meetings. None of the team leads spoke to each other. Each team had their own terms, their own trajectory, and their own goals.
Just as our team started pushing for more alignment, and we began having shared meetings, the client decided to pivot the product in another direction.
Now we had:
One original front-end
One first-pivot front-end
Two functional prototypes
One front-end Jira board
One back-end Jira board
No worries. We're professionals. We do this all the time. We rolled with it and we shifted focus to a new direction, with the same goals in mind internally to keep things aligned and moving along.
Slowly, the client hired managers to start leading everything in the same direction. Things started to look up. The back-end team and the product and UX teams started aligning goals and working toward the same objectives.
Then the client shifted directions again. This time bigger. More 'verticals'. I was to leave the previous 'prototypes' behind, and feature-freeze them to work on the new direction.
One conceptual 'new' back-end
One original front-end
One first-pivot front-end
One 'all verticals' front-end
One functional prototype
One back-end Jira board
One front-end Jira board
One product Jira board
One UX Jira board
Meanwhile, the back-end team, the front-end team overseas, all kept moving in the previously agreed-upon direction.
At this stage, probably 6 months in, the 'prototypes' were much less proper 'prototypes' but actually just full apps (with a stubbed back-end since I was never given permission or support to access the actual back-end).
The state of things today:
Back to one back-end
One original front-end
One first-pivot front-end
One 'all verticals' front-end
One 'working' front-end
One 'QA' front-end
One 'demo' front-end
One functional prototype
One back-end Jira board
Two front-end Jira boards
One current product Jira board
One future product Jira board
One current UX Jira board
One future UX Jira board
One QA Jira board
I report to approximately 4 people remotely (depending on the task or the week).
There are three representatives from 'product' who dictate features and priorities (they often do not align).
I still maintain the 'prototype' to this day. The front-end team does not have access to the code of this 'prototype' (the clients' request). The client's QA team does not test against the 'prototype'.
The demos of the front-end version of the product include peanut-gallery design-by-committee 'bug call-outs', feature requests, and scope creep by attendees in the dozens from all manner of teams and directors.4
What just happened?
I had my annual review meeting with my bosses and everything was going well and I was doing a great job and I was working so independently and they were happy I used my training budget efficiently, great attendance and I have good standing at the customer, although I'm the only representative there. BUT... BUT... BUT... there will be no chance of a raise this year, because the company is not doing quite well currently (OK, I can understand that part) and also because I didn't do anything for business development, didn't bring new projects or anything.
I'm a developer, your typical slightly introverted geek. I'm not doing sales. That's not my job. That's not me. That's a part of why I'm not a contractor. I had this before in another job, and those expectations which seem to always only come out during those evaluations, were part of the reason why I left.
Fuck this for putting me in this situation again.
I'm really wanting to start looking for an in-house job at some production company again. Do these jobs still exist? Those consulting companies seem to expect things from me I can't and won't deliver.1
GoLive for this big feature is set for Thursday. So the customer approaches me and asks can our team do it. Sure it can be done if everything goes perfectly, but... This means that the feature won't be tested, everything won't probably go perfectly (which it didn't because of customer selected third party api surprise nondocumented features (bugs)) and Thursday release is almost as dumb fucking idea as Friday release. I said it more nicely and I got:
"I don't agree with you"
from a person who has 0 understanding of what is going on and whose boss pays me to tell them what it needs in order to work and prosper.
And we had this fucking conversation three times. So basically he interrupted my coding that directly impacts the schedule in order to debate how fast things can be done. Don't these people understand that everytime you interrupt a software engineer the deadline is pushed by the same amount of time you waste of mine + 30minutes of refocus time to get back into the thing you were doing.
Best part was that the deadline was this magic date the guy pulled out of his ass without consulting the developer team and nobody really cared about the deadline =D
I studied computer game development at a university that had pretty low standards. It was perfect for a slacker like me. I enjoyed it. Maybe it was implied that you'd have to study on your own and that completing the courses wasn't enough to make you a competent developer, but maybe I'm a bit slow or something because that never occurred to me until after we were finished.
I was taught enough programming and database stuff to land me an entry position job at a consulting firm before I was able to complete my thesis. Technically I dropped out, I guess, since I don't have a diploma.
I built a portfolio consisting of different projects/essays I'd completed/wrote for different courses. That, together with my charm and boyish good lucks made me get the job.
Anyways, even though I learned more practical stuff my first year on the job than I did my 3 years of uni it was a very good experience. It helped me understand what I was interested in so that I could pursue that later and some of the people I got to know would help my career later.
I mean, if education wasn't free (except living expenses, books, etc) I'd might say that I had been better off just taking a year of egghead/udemy/Indian Guy On YouTube classes to learn what I needed to land myself a job. But I'd need to know which courses to take so I'd probably find a group of courses that someone else put together. I guess it would be nice to take those classes with other people so that you can work together, learn from each other, and make some friends and connections as well. Oh, that sounds kinda like uni ¯\_(ツ)_/¯2
We have this guy at the company who always presents good ideas and always suggests new projects. One day he suggested a great project, our boss really liked the idea and gave me the green light to start creating it.
The guy, seeing the opportunity to promote himself, and without consulting me about the deadline, set up a meeting to present the application to the directors, and only then informed me about the deadline. At that moment I did my part, told him that it would not be possible to meet the deadline with all the requirements, something had to be withdrawn, and that's what he did, took a lot of things from the project and we went on like this.
While I was implementing the application, he was always pushing, asking me to do it faster, asking my boss to put me exclusively in his project, and things like that, the boss was always saying that there were not enough people on the team to devote someone exclusively to the project. The guy of course did not agree with that.
At the end the application, without a lot of the initial requirements, was a really mess but ready, he presented to the directors, who in turn liked a lot, and consequently asked to do all the initial requirements and some more. But now those initial requirements had to be made on top of a mess because of all the rush and adaptations.
A few months later, with the change of the board, the guy turned up being my boss, and I've prepared myself to go back to his project with exclusive dedication.
Then came the surprise, when the guy, in the boss position, realized the limitations of the team, instead of putting me to do everything he wanted in that project, he canceled the project entirely and for all the reasons that had already been said to him by the former boss.
Please, don't be like that guy!2
So, when I was young, I wanted to be a freelancing nomad. You know, live the live, work remote and travel.
But I didn't have the bones to pursue that. After 10 years of struggling as a normal "programmer", I did a little of everything. I did normal boring "erp maintenance" in C#, Oracle and some legacy stuff called Visual WEB GUI , which was fun, but required a full 9,5 hours work day, 8:00 am to 6:30pm, and the bosses where squares, and I was young and wanted to try something out of the corporate world.
Then I did some work for a newly funded consulting company that used python, Django, and postgresql, but the bosses promised a lot and delivered none, (I was supposed to work backend and have frontend support, which I did not have, and that hurt my productivity and bosses instead of looking at what they promised but did not deliver, they just discounted my salary 3 months in a row, so Bye bye MFs!!
Then I did some remote work for some guys, that, I managed to sustain for a whole year, the pay was good, the stack was simple, just node.js and pug templates, that gig was good, but communication with the bosses was hard, and eventually things started to get hard for them and me, and we had to say farewell to each other, I miss those guys. This is the only time I remember having fun working, I could work whenever I wanted, I only had to reach the weekly goals, and then my time was mine, I could work from home in the odd hours, or rent a chair in a co working space if I wanted to socialize.
Then fate got me one big gig with a multinational company, and I could hire some people, but I delegated too much and was asking too little of myself, and that project eventually died because I did not know how to negotiate.
So, I quit the whole entrepreneur idea, and got a public job at my University, I was a public employee with all the perks, but none of the fun, I just had to clock-in, work, and clock-out. That experience led me to discover a lot of myself, I worked as a public employee for a year and a half, and in that time, I discovered more about myself than what I learnt in 27 years of previous life experience.
Then, I grew bored of that life, and wanted some action, and I found more than enough fun in a VC funded startup ran by young narcissists that did not have a clue of what they were doing, I helped them organize themselves into "closing stuff", you know, finish the things you say you have finished. Just to give you an idea of what it was like before I got there, the were working for 3 months already on this project, they had on paper 50% of the system done and working, when I tried to use the app, I couldn't even sign-up without hacking some database commands, (this was supposedly done). So I spent a month there teaching these guys how to finish stuff, they got, Sign Up, (their sign up was a mess, it is one of those KYC rich things, that financial apps have), Login, and some core functionality working in a month, while in the previous 4 months they only did parallel work, writing endpoints that were not tried, and an app that did not communicate with the backend. But the bosses weren't happy with me, because I told them time and time again that we were not going to reach the goal they needed to reach to keep receiving funds from the investors, and I had to quit before it became a mayhem of toxic employer/employee relationship.
So now I decided to re-engage with life, I have funds to survive about a month and half, I have a good line of credit in case I need some more funds, and the time of the world.
So wish me luck!!! And I'll be posting often, because I would like opinions, hear from people with similar life experiences and share anecdotes.
Next post, it's going to be about how I discovered taskwarrior, and how implemented my first weekend following some of the aspects of GTD to do all my housekeeping chores, because, I think that organizing myself will be key to survive as a freelancer nomad.
I'm working with a consultant group at my company to implement a new authentication strategy for our entire platform.
The senior dev lead from the consultant group has 25+ years consulting and claims to have written a web browser for the blind and all sorts of in-depth accessibility things.
Stakeholders tell us "Don't forget about accessibility compliance on this project"
Senior dev lead with all this claimed accessibility experience asks me, "What does accessibility mean?"2
Boss(non-technical) complains we are behind the schedule he set without consulting the tech team, the complains we don't all(including BAs) don't do code review. CHOOSE!
*Note: I am not bashing code review*2
OK, I'm at a new internship and new to node development. I'm consulting the existing repositories to see what's already existing, but... node_modules shouldn't be in the git repository, right?3
A whole bunch of new features were added mid-sprint without ever consulting any of the development team. They dogpiled on devs from other projects who had no prior experience with the code base, so naturally I lose traction because I'm tied up answering questions and explaining things.
This sprint I'm not getting any feature work done as I'm stuck fixing bugs and awful half-ass implementations (by well meaning devs that were thrown at unrealistic expectations).
Concerned at the burn down rate, next week they're planning on dogpiling on more guys to play catch up.
I'm so sad
When the graphic designer adds new areas (divs, icons, sliders) to your website mockup without consulting you.. You ask why he added them.. His response... Just drag and drop the new stuff in.. I think he think I make websites in Microsoft Word.1
Sad decision. I must let everyone know that I've left and desided to take clients on my own and get paid 3X as much taking on consulting clients.i love and respect some of you, but leadership is the definition of crap and I have my own product to start working on. ✌☮☮☮☮1
The office below us they do tax consulting ... One of the guys there was drinking beer as I walked past their reception... It's 9:39 for fucks sake 🤷♂️3
Guys, I need some advice.
A couple of weeks ago I finished my internship as a sys admin in this medium sized consulting company. When my "contract" was about to expire they offered me a real job doing the same thing I've been doing for the past few months, but I turned it down.
The reason why I did it was that I wasn't really happy with the job. I mean, the people were... fine, the management team was... fine, the actual work I needed to do was... fine. I think you get the idea. The problem was that I never really enjoyed it all that much, and even though I didn't hate it, I wasn't really happy with it, so I turned the offer down.
After giving it more thought and listening to what some of my friends and family members had to say, I started thinking that maybe it was a bad idea to do so. Many people have said to me that I'm making a mistake, that I shouldn't leave a job before I have a new one, and that I should take the offer, work there for a little while and then look for something else.
I always answer by saying that the job market in this field is much more simple, and that it's much easier to find a new job than in any other, but yet again, I'm not sure if I'm making a big mistake with this decision.
PS: I'm 21, this would be my first job ever7
Side job - some consulting.
My mom apparently sold her phone which was not turning on for some reason. Earlier she told that she had gave it to a shop to get it repaired.
I'm just dumbfoudned here that she didn't even consider deleting the data on the phone or even consulting me before selling it.
Thankfully, the phone is linked to google account and I know her account password which is pretty weak. I had told her to change password which she has never done yet. Anyways, I have sent erase phone feature on Google account. Now I hope phone will come online before somebody decides to do anything with data in the phone.
Also, the phone has been super annoyingly slow recently. So I hope nobody is gonna mind that phone at all.1
I've been working at a consulting company (lone programmer) as a Web Dev for about 2 or 3 months and I'm now skeptical about quitting.
I have the liberty to use any technologies I want, unless we get something already using a certain stack. The atmosphere is great and I only work part-time. The problem is that they have me working like a hog on many different projects simotaneously and expect me to meet deadlines despite new projects coming in weekly. Again, I'm the only programmer here, nobody to help me out. I don't make a killing but the pay isn't too bad considering it's part-time.
I've also noticed that my programming activity has degraded since I started working. I feel like I'm slowly losing the motivation I once had to keep working on my personal side projects.
Any tips on what to do?1
TL;DR: idiot 'team leader' does mindless merge to master. Precious time wasted in a high pressure deadline environment.
So, i work currently at one of Belgiums largest consulting company's at brussels airport, we are moving their analytics platform to the cloud.
We use puppet to manage the systems.
When i started i noticed immediately that their 'development workflow' is hardly to be named as such, because they simply change stuff directly on server , manual 'temporary' fixes everywhere, hardcoded stuff, non validated code... Basically the way one would develop in their garage, not in a consulting company as this one. But that is just the beginning.
A month ago i did a major effort to equalize all the discrepancies between the codebase and the server. Ensured entire codebase to be validated, syntax checked, parsed, tested... It works. A 'great codebase overhaul' commit was PR'ed to master and got merged.
Yesterday the team lead, i'll call him 'B-tard' from here on, has also 'equalized the discrepancies between codebase, server and the restnof the stale branches on the repo' . i was doing my other work on my branch so no fucks given. This is where i should have given some fucks.
Anyways, today. The day starts every day with merging the master branch into your working branh because you need the latest working codebase, right?
This fucking dipshit smug b-tard has done a mindless merge of the entire codebase, effectively removing ALL validated working code for provisioning servers. Control blocks, lookup functions, lambda's... Basically everything he did not understand.
At the same time the project is already way beyond the allotted budget in pkney and time, so there is a huge pressure to have a working 'production' environment TODAY!
THIS MOTHERFUCKING B-TARD JUST MADE THAT IMPOSSIBLE.
i'm loving this assignment, i'm loving the PM, the collegues, the environment, the location... everything. All but this fuckibg b-tard that somehow got his position by sucking dick or licking ass or both...
I wanna get out asap.
Oh... While typing this and arriving at the room of the office... It is locked, i have no key.
Varies wildly, depending on location and company.
Find yourself in the right location (London, for instance, and some other big cities) and there's heaps of companies all competing for good devs - willing to pay great salaries, great pensions, free food, offer working from home, healthy training budgets, etc.
Find yourself in the wrong place, or not willing to travel, and you may have to settle for being the "IT guy" at Bob's budget consulting co. where your main job is resetting Lauren from HR's password every few days, even though she "definitely hasn't forgotten it, it's the computer's fault."
So far in my career I've tried been hired to a startup, two medium sized consulting agencies and a Fortune 500 company.
Trying to figure out why the startup and the big company managed to attract so many assholes.
I've heard similar trends from friends in the industry.6
There seems to be a market for custom 3D printer firmware, consulting and debugging. What should I charge for something like this? I live in Germany and this will be a side quest.4
Guess what i just did. I shorted the entire fucking building. And all I was gonna do was install a couple of lamps. Fuuck. I'm never ever again going to do anything even remotely electrical at work without consulting a technician first ever again. Fuck fuck fuck. I'm so fucking unlucky.
And this fuxking keyboard that fuxking doesn't autocorrect fuxk. Fuxk. I seriously can't write fuck without really thinking about where I put my fingers. Fuxm.4
*-- There's something kind of child like and adorable about working for a client who spends THOUSANDS of dollars on their data infrastructure, yet finds it ever so difficult to provide ONE user to help reconcile and test the new data warehouse.
Been consulting a friendly acquaintance on technical issues for some time now. An interesting side project in a field that I am not familiar. Well after some time you begin to be well versed and understand what it's all about.
Wrote some code. Made a website. Did some soldering and prototyping. Now I find myself in a position where most of the IP is a) written by me b) designed by me.
An official agreement has been a topic couple of times. The owner wants to hire me, but I don't see myself working there. He offered shares. I said yes. But nothing has been formalized.
Now the the CEO sends me an NDA that practically tries to make me sign over all the IP to the company. First correspondence I get from him since the beginning. Legislation is quite clear. Without written agreement IP is owned by the creator.
I lolled. They must think I am dumb because I try to help. I feel a hefty invoice for services provided generating in my accounting..
Right now, everything. I started at a Consulting firm because I expected many new problems to tackle, solutions to develop and generally to always have a fire burning underneath my ass but instead I always develop the same standard bullshit.
I miss the days in my old job when there was just a problem and the task to solve it. When I stared down giant amounts of data, just KNOWING that somewhere in that mess is some structure I could exploit and that short moment of inspiration when I finally pinpointed it. The rush of endorphins when the solution became clear and everything fell into place to form a beautiful pattern amidst the chaos test data, git commits and numpy arrays.
Now its just "Yeah, would you just write another selenium testsuite that throws out fail or pass and wastes all the information because the only reason I'm a testmanager is because I'm too incompetent to do anything else and not my passion for the field".
The constant, mind numbing repetition of always the same patterns where the occasional dynamic element that becomes stale is the highlight of my work week... I would have never thought that making good money with easy work would ever get me as close to depression as it did.6
Wise people of devrant, I need career advice:
I got offered a contract by a french consulting company for my first job, but they also told me that they probably won't have a project for me untill April (because they have enough juniors for now and new positions probably won't open untill they get a new batch of projects.)
Needless to say I'm angry at myself for being such a noob but they are right :/
What would you do? I am still looking for other possibilities atm, but nothing too concrete has popped up yet besides these french guys: I got an offer for an unpaid intership that is waiting for a geen light, and a couple of other job interviews lined up for the next few weeks.
Also I currently live in denmark, so I would need to relocate to france come April.
I would be inclined to sign the contract anyway and return their kindness, as they could have just told me to fuck off and come back in 6 months, (at least they like me) but I don't know what is best in this situation...
Should I stick with them and wait, perhaps training myself in the mean time? Or do you think it would be better to pursue other options?4
I really want to start up a business as sort of a consulting service, or a software contractor...
Does anyone know how to get started in contracting? I see contracts online and they are only like 2-3 month long contracts? How can I get involved with that to get some experience and not have to quit my current job...? Is it possible to do both?
Also it seems like a lot of the ones I see are where you have to go live there during the duration of the contract... Why don't they do any remote contracts...?
I've only worked at one place as a Software Developer, and from my previous post you can tell that I really hate it, but my location is hard to find anything else at all... Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
Mesosphere sold every e-mail who registered with them to Tech Global Leads. Either that or Tech Global Leads stole a list of leaked e-mail addresses. In either case I unregistered/unsubscribed from Mesosphere and still got e-mails to those two specific accounts from Tech Global Leads with Mesosphere consulting soliciting. (So they keep e-mail information, even for accounts that unsubscribe).
TGL doesn't even have a website up. They're either amateurs or scammers. Either way, fuck you and your spam, both TGL and Mesosphere. Go die in a fire.1
Questions more then a rant...
I've moved from being a lead on imploring DevOps and Agile practices in a large Telco to now working for a security consultancy... The team I'm with are s*** hot when it comes to SecOps (which is why I changed jobs) and I've been hired to he the automation and working practice expert on the team. Already got some of them learning Ansible which is a great start!
I've got delivery now being pushed to Git and all client work being tracked in Jira and properly documented and collaborated through HipChat and other CI tools on the way....
My question is this... Does anyone have some awesome resources to teach people Git, Jira, Jenkins, etc. quickly without forking or branching out on expensive training? Focus on being a technical but consultative team. Ideally just wanna pull some awesome guides and make. My own commits on them for the team... Please fire a story or epic away!1
I know jQuery is pretty old, and I’ll soon be looking in my area for a front-end Dev job that specializes in using a “modern” framework. I know some React, but I think most of the openings around me are for Angular.
Come application & interview time, how do I make myself look like a valuable asset with the experience I have?7
This place I’m consulting at just had a new Directory of Change, first policy she made for IT is mandatory 3 working days wait for any release in Test and 2 weeks for Prod. That includes application config value update in Test database. We think she might have misunderstood her job title Ms. Director of No Change..2
The fun part of my job is showing off my age to make the point that they need to build new things in new technologies. Typical interaction goes something like this.
Person: When we started X project, we were using the state of the art technologies. We can just use that again.
Me: And when was that?
P: About 2012
Me: I was a freshman in high school.9
A week ago me and my classroom visited Pentalog and they Presented us in major terms how they're teams work and what is mostly going on in an IT consulting company. It was pretty cool. I loved every job or position they presented except Scrum Master and the person who manages the database.
I saw most of them how nice they were how they got along, it makes it hard for me to understand how many ranters are crying about relationships with other collegues. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯1
Got stuck programming the accountability system for an entire State on my own because the IT shop basically refused to do any work. No help testing, no help debugging, no help with collecting and clarifying business rules, barely any help getting access to the data, and then after I had programmed the entire thing they paid a consulting company about 4xs what I was getting for them to port it to SQL and they still haven't gotten it right yet. Nothing like knowing that any mistakes in your code could cost multiple people their jobs to add some additional stress to the situation. It was actually the first time I ever experienced any physical symptoms from stress; and that includes the time when my convoy got attacked with a roadside bomb in Iraq.
What's up with recruiters calling the office? Today, a coworker got a call from a recruiter. 5 minutes later I got a call from a lady from an IT Management consulting company asking me if I'm the right person to talk to which I'm quite obviously not (she apparently sent me an email last week, which, if I got it, marked as spam).
In my last job several recruiters called; how could I even talk open on the phone -.-
Sometimes while writing software / consulting I feel like house md. Not always am I right the first time, but this is often due to me looking at the wrong thing. But at the end of the day I am able to give advice that may be seen absurd but usually is correct.
(tip: it's never lupus, what is quite right because code is code)1
Got offered to start early in a graduate program at a major it consulting firm through a internship. While I still need to write my final engineering project and take two courses.. Gonna be a long year. But Hey.. A job in a cool department is pretty awesome.
Is part-time remote dev work a thing? I wanna go that route but no clue where to get started. Freelancing? Consulting? Or do companies actually hire part time remote devs?7
There is this ERP/MES integration project in which I am involved as a developer who helps a team of industry engineers in my company to write some scripts (in Quickscript .Net god forbids) to consume a SOAP based web service developed by the ERP maintainer team from another company.
I will just keep every stupid technical aspect I ve seen unspoken and highlight the naming convention used in the web service methods.
One of the web methods named "zzwswo" which only after consulting a bunch of pdf nomenclature docs that I realized it means the following:
"zz" seems to be a prefix for custom db tables in the ERP system.
"ws" is probably Web Service.
"wo" is Work Order.
I lost hours trying to figure out methods. I think this is why not everyone should be allowed to write code.
Anyone who has transitioned from freelance/consulting back to employment? What was the experience like?7
Just had a memory popup about my uni days about 5 years ago. I was in my Junior year in business school and was doing a "consulting" project involving the whole Class (200 students). Groups of 4 were assigned an international company in either Europe, Asia, or South America. We'd visit them (as well as do some sightseeing) and learn about them (performance, market positions, products) during Spring Break and come up with a real proposal. We would then compete with other teams, and the winning pitchs for each would be presented in the school auditorium in front the entire class.
Our team didn't get that far but that's not the point. We did win the individual classroom competition. Our company was Deutsche Telekom (owner of T-Mobile).
This was in 2010, when the iPhone/smart-phones started to become mainstream... And our team's idea was location-based advertising.
Looking back, we basically predicted the future... though we got the wrong industry...
It's also sort of funny though because I remember the main reason we came up with the idea was to be different.
All other teams just went with some expansion plan to a neighboring country or cutting costs.... pure MBA/business plan. But I guess I was being a natural techie so thought of a tech idea instead.
We had a meeting with our professor after he picked us and he told us he had a history of spotting future hits. We were like "hm... ok... let's give it a shot... we definitely got an A!" but at that point I was sort of skeptical if this would actually work in real-life (the basic idea was they would sell ads to local businesses and if you were nearby, you would get a text message with an offer).
But guess he was pretty right... we just needed to have Google or Facebook to have been our company... though Groupon or Yelp works too... basically a tech company with larger scale rather than a mobile carrier...1
Im going to my first internship interview as computer engineering tomorrow. it's a consulting company that works with FPGA development, im nervous because I would really like to work with it!
Q: are there some tips on interviews with smaller development companies? What are they looking for in a developer? What should I research beforehand?2
What do you you think about a full remote consulting dev team organized as a cooperative ? Have you some experiences to share ? Is it viable alternative to freelancing ?
I’m thinking about switching job and trying a consult company and be a consultant.
I’m trying to get a grip if it’s any difference between that and being a developer at my current company.
I try to google but the result varies from “This is the best job ever!” To “This is the worst job ever!”.
I talked to a colleague of mine awhile back that said all in all there isn’t any difference. The code is the same, the work methods are the same and so on. One difference is that you can work at a project for one year and then you never see it again. Which is good if it’s a bad project and bad if it’s a fun project.
Another difference that he mentioned is that you have to make every hour count and you have to do something that the company can get paid for. And this is what makes me think twice. I’ve worked with IT for about 7 years but I’ve only been a developer for 1,5-2 years. I don’t know if I can produce as much as they want, being a junior developer and all, and maybe stay where I am for a year or two.
Do you guys have any thoughts about being a consult? Experiences, stories? All is welcome :)
My project was closed down yesterday due to growing concerns about the global pandemic.
I can somewhat understand the reasoning behind this action. Context: I work for a very large consulting firm that does software development and systems consultancy. The client has a business model that is fully reliant on in-store profit. All of the stores are closed or empty.
While I’m not yet unemployed, I can’t help but wonder what these guys were thinking when they started this project. Did they not already have the budget to complete it or any sort of contingency plan?
The just held a large online meeting where, in essence, they fired us with a cut-off period of 5 days.
They simply bailed out and it’s not even been 2 weeks since things actually got serious.
Does their action seem right or sound?1
Need to get some of your opinions about computer. I have always been using IBM/Lenovo or HP with Windows as operating system, due to work needs and policies. But, this weekend I purchased a new apple MacBook Air, and I want to know what you think about my choice. It is just for personal use, so I will continue to use my hp with win10 at work (needed for the erp system I'm consulting).
I choose MacBook Air as my personal computer because I think the hardware and chassi is a bit more premium to a pretty low cost, looking on hp or Lenovo with the same class of chassi and build is at least 150% more expensive. Let me know your comment :)4
Not exactly a rant, but I'm wondering where to go next with my learning.
I'm a c# dev and I want to get more into massive, scalable, distributed application development.
I sort of want to be with the "cool kids" i.e. open source, node.js, docker, scala, you name it. I get that open source moves quickly, but I get the feeling that every new framework is a fad.
Then again there is the corporate world with shitloads of money who are invested in .net and will very soon want people who can redesign their software so that their management can use all the buzz words.
I'm thinking into get into consulting and claim my slice of pie there by designing their solutions to go on the cloud so they can throw even more money at microsoft.
Anyway, I'm doing a bit of soul searching so feel free to throw in your 2 cents1
Hi guys! I got an opportunity in one of the biggest consulting/strategy companies in the world, however I need to write the OCA and OCP Java exams to get in. The OCA is in about a month + 2-3 weeks and OCP towards the end of the year. I kinda know Java but the exams seem to be hard. May you please guide/advise on how I can get over this mountain :)? Anything that worked for you? Or did not work?4
I'd like to one day work on security consulting/advising (incident response, opsec, SOC, etc). For those of you here that are currently in or have worked with people in that field: what advice do you have for handling cyber risk situations?2
What advice/opinion would you give to someone who is looking for a dev job without any experience or background or passion/interest in engineering - just getting into this field for the money and consulting firms backing this person saying they will train and help find him/her a job in California...5