Our website doesn't look the same on phone and desktop.

Please remove responsivness.

When you are working late night on Windows

Interviewer: what leadership experience do you have

Me: 3 years experience in an administration position

Interviewer: Good, where?

Me: in a WhatsApp group

When I test my coworkers code.

Started a new job. My title on the employment agreement form?

"Developer"

If you leave your Linux system open and your troll friend finds out!

age++;

My company just blocked devRant ip...

Well, now I need to use my own mobile data to procrastinate

Websites got ads, so user got adblock, and thus, websites got adblockblock and users got adblockblockblock and websites got adblockblockblockblock and users got adblockblockblockblockblock and websites got ad blockblockblockblockblockblock and users got adblockblockblockblock blockblockblockblockblockblock and websites...

How Programmers review code

When your shower uses more guthub then you..

Complaining about Chrome's RAM usage is like eating fast food.
It's good, it's fast, you love it, all day every day. Then you complain about being fat.
😂

My colleagues treat me like a god.
.
.
.
Nobody plays any attention to my existence until they want something 😏

The bugs have learned to hide

Hahaha :-p ❤

Sometimes my code is so bad that it takes an entire family to debug it.

Reading other people's code.

Her: Why do you need 3 monitors??
Me: Why do you need 6 bags on the hanger, permanently, and 23 pairs of shoes?
Her: :/

This is my car.

Website design philosophies:

Apple: "...and a really big picture there, and a really big picture there, and a really big picture there, and..."

Microsoft: "border-radius:0 !important;"

Google: "EVERYTHING MOVES!!! And most websites get material design. Most."

Amazon: "We're slowly moving away from 2009"

Wix: "How can we further increase load times?"

Literally any download site: "Click here! No, click here! Nononono!! Click here!!..."

Facebook: "We can't change anything because our main age demographic is around 55"

University websites: "That information isn't hard enough to find yet. Decrease the search accuracy and increase broken links."

Dev life

Who, after switching to Linux, started naming their files and folders without spaces?

Think twice before making a time estimate.

Then multiply that by two.

Math teacher: 1+1=?
Me: one zero
Math teacher: wrong!
So i gived to her my calculator (in binary mode :-) )
Me: check the answer.
Math teacher: [saw 1+1=10 on calc] thinks about 10 seconds LOL then says: you calculator is broken!

But why?

Seen on a lottery commercial:

Guy 1: That can't be right check it again.
Guy 2: Computers can't be wrong, they're programmed that way!

Hello dev-loopers (loop same task again n again )

"QA Engineer walks into a bar. Orders a beer. Orders 0 beers. Orders 999999999 beers. Orders a lizard. Orders -1 beers. Orders a sfdeljknesv." - Bill Sempf

Hey everyone! As many of you have already seen, we just finished rolling out a new feature that allows you to subscribe to specific users! This feature sends you an in-app and push notification whenever anyone you subscribe to posts a new rant. You can subscribe to a user from the button in the top right of their profile or one of their rants.

Please let us know if you have any questions!

P.S. apologies to those who already subscribe to my rants and got a notif before for a test rant I created. I forgot we had subscribe now :)

The joke told itself