"I was wondering why Monitors sleep and Keyboards don't.

Then it occurred to me that Keyboards have two SHIFTS. 😆😆" -some guy

Me: I’ve been in the web since 2006, of course i know html,css,javascript.
Also me: Google how to center a div.

!rant

Soo, I made a very hacky thing with CSS

I had a secondary Gmail account with a really nice short nickname (from the early invite/alpha days), forwarded to another of my mailboxes. It had a weak password, leaked as part of one of the many database leaks.

Eventually I noticed some dude in Brazil started using my Gmail, and he changed the password — but I still got a copy of everything he did through the forwarding rule. I caught him bragging to a friend on how he cracked hashes and stole and sold email accounts and user details in bulk.

He used my account as his main email account. Over the years I saw more and more personal details getting through. Eventually I received a mail with a plaintext password... which he also used for a PayPal account, coupled to a Mastercard.

I used a local website to send him a giant expensive bouquet of flowers with a box of chocolates, using his own PayPal and the default shipping address.

I included a card:

"Congratulations on acquiring my Gmail account, even if I'm 7 years late. Thanks for letting me be such an integral part of your life, for letting me know who you are, what you buy, how much you earn, who your family and friends are and where you live. I've surprised your mother with a cruise ticket as you mentioned on Facebook how sorry you were that you forgot her birthday and couldn't buy her a nice present. She seems like a lovely woman. I've also made a $1000 donation in your name to the EFF, to celebrate our distant friendship"

After a 4 year CS college completed and 3 years of java experience I have found the biggest challenge of my life when my gf asked me to teach her programming. After explaining 10 times what a class and an object is , I started to understand how frustrating is for a teacher with a shitty pay to teach an know-it-all dumb fuck to write a hello world after 2 years of college.

CS Professor: “What M word is the black hole to all productivity?”

Student: “Management”

CS Professor: “Was going to say meetings but that’s better”

No. More. Writing. Code. On. A. Fucking. Piece. Of. Paper.

 (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Nice! Since when did Firefox dev tools have a dark theme?

Employer: "You know Html5 and Css3??

Me: "Of course! And Javascript."

Employer: "GREAT! We develope WordPress."

Me: 😊😊😊👋💣

Me: This is totally gonna work

Compiler: u tried

Found this on the internet

Waiting for this day....

A billion dollar company just sent me a nice email template.

Probably the dev missed a tutorial.

DEV 101

NEVER USE PRODUCTION DATA FOR DEVELOPMENT

Had a good laugh on this one

[via https://twitter.com/ElleOhHell/...]

Nope.. Not doing that.

When you try to tell your fellow devs to start using Git 😶

It's 2018, web developers, let get our tools on..

when you check the commits to see who wrote shitty code

As a programmer, I'm outraged.

This is a valid point.

—_(*_*)_—

My next project is creating a genetic algorithm that can play with crypto currencies for me.

I shouldn't have told my family. They think i'm going to be sharing the money now 🙃

Found something true as 1 == 1

Teacher: press F5

Student: presses f then 5

Me: dies

A boy asked his bitcoin-investing dad for 1 bitcoin for his birthday.

Dad: What? $15,554??? $14,354 is a lot of money! What do you need $16,782 for anyway?

Source: Twitter @cryptomanran

X: Can you link my Facebook account with the website?

Me: Yes. Can.

X: Good. I want to update website using Facebook since I know how to use Facebook well.

Me: 💀

Best joke I have read this week...

Client: We have a HUGE security problem.

Me: *thinks about any possible vulnerabilities* What is it?

Client: A user can take a picture of our website and steal our content.

I’m done for today.

This is fucking annoying with some clients.

Client calls:
Me: Hello, how can I help you?
Client: *explains problem*
Me: *tells possible solution*
Client: you sound young, could you connect me to a more senior person?
Me: Sure.

Collegue: Hello, how can I help you?
Client: *explains problem again*
Collegue: *gives same solution as me*
Client: Oh uhm but that's the same solution the boy I had on the phone before you told me.
Collegue: Yeah......?
Client: well he sounded so young...
Collegue: Being young does not equal being inexperienced/less knowing about something.

Why not! 😂