"WiFi is better than Ethernet because the air is bigger so it can hold more internet."

Yes, and horse-drawn carriages are better than cars because they have bigger wheels.

I made a game (rather mod) called "wake up".

I should trademark it and whenever someone says or writes "wake up", I sue them.

How to secure yourself from flash 0-day attacks:

1. Uninstall flash
2. Don't reinstall flash
3. Seriously, you don't need flash

*In Office
Coworker raises his head, looks at boss: "I'm leaving".

Boss raises head looks at coworker: "Ok".

All this took 5 seconds,..the weirdest 5 seconds of my life

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

PYTHON♥️

Today my classmate came up to me and said he was a hacker.

I told him to prove it, and guess what? HE ACTUALLY HACKED GOOGLE!

It was amazing! He impressed so many kids in the class with his skills of pressing F12! How impressive is that?

He even wore a black hoodie and can spell his name in binary code. Not to mention, he changed google doc's page color to black and the font to green as he typed his essay.

I need to be careful... This 1337 h4x0r is really scary.

83w4r3

The other day, I had a talk with my dad and he asked me about why YouTube is recommending him videos that he saw in the past or that type of ads. He is a non-techie btw.
I told him about personalized ads and so on.
Told him the "advantages" and the disadvantages of it. I even explained the advantages like if they would be so good that they are on the same level as holy things that happened to humanity. That was just to test him though.
And guess what?
He was completely against it. He said that it just brings disadvantages and no advantages at all. He was pissed that YouTube was recording his search history and so on to make a profile of him. He cares for his privacy. And I'm proud to have such a dad. :)

Today i was working in my office then suddenly i remembered that i have to buy a valentine day gift for my girl....

So i quickly pull out my cellphone and started doing Google and typed this...

Well then i realized why Google suggestions disappeared... 😂😂😂

So a friend of mine asked me today "got any proposals?"
Me: "yeah, in fact I got two of them"
Friend: "... Nice!"
Me: "yeah. Both were from my client"
Friend bursts out laughing.

Thanks for the info

JavaScript is like lego, you can build almost anything with it. But if you don't know what you're doing, the result will be just a nonsensical bunch of fragments.

Wanna gently annoy your coworker? Every time they send you an idea about something code related, just respond with:

"git checkout shitty_ideas"

This Valentine's day
I am gonna make a commitment
To learning Ruby
I don't have a girlfriend though...😕

Today the inconceivable happened at the office. A rather attractive female colleague of ours asked if anybody could help her with a Java related issue.
Of course the majority of guys were more than willing to help.
A victor finally emerged. He went on to claim his prize by helping the fair maiden.
After a few seconds..."This is not Java. It's javascript'
I shit you not we just exploded in laughter 😂

Me: IT call center.

Lady: Hi! I cant access the shared folder!

Me: Ok. I'll try and help you out. Whats happening when you click on it?

Lady: ok ok... {clicks}... Now it's asking me to entered my password. Should I enter it?

Me: Do you know it?

Lady: Yeah.

Me: yeah try entering it.

Lady: YES. That worked! Thank you so so much!!!

Me: No problem. Have a good day!

It's 2018, web developers, let get our tools on..

Overheard a conversation in class today: This dude was talking about how "Linux was terrible and worthless" because he'd spent a few hours trying to install Ubuntu on his laptop over the weekend and couldn't get it to work. I don't know how to tell him Linux isn't the problem here.

Step 1. Get a large touchscreen monitor. Connect it.

Step 2. Modify the driver so touches don't actually cause clicks or anything.

Step 3. Let it play a sudden, loud BEEP instead. Increase the volume for each subsequent touch.

Step 4. Lean back and watch people learn that you don't like your screen being touched.

Atm I'm trying to do some programming at night, with a mechanical keyboard... it's sounds like a machine gun. 😵

apparently, you can get seizures by looking at windows 10 apps.

i hear penguins are cute though

Just a tip I read today :
Don't deploy anything to production this week. So u don't endup debugging during the holiday and abandoning ur friends and family. ..
Happy holidays 🎉

me, when someone yells at me for not able to resolve an "electronic" issue because I'm pursuing a computer science degree

When you talk to other devs about what their code did. I also relate myself to this.

A client called

Client: Hello Mr. Can you come to our office today?

Me: Yes sure

In fews hours I was there

Client: Check this email we are getting every day

It was email from spammers who asking to redesigning their website because it was not responsive

Me: 🧐Thinking ‘valid point !’

Me: So what you need me to do for you then?

Client: We need you to redesign the site

Lol - thanks spammers for bringing in new client

😯😯😯

This is what happens when I'm asked to document something.

Loser.

Today I presented a client with their new website.

Feedback from the owner was "I fucking love it".
Got a cash bonus and a bottle of champagne before leaving.

Today was a good day!

>Do you speak Latin?
>Yes ofc
>Wow! Tell me something in Latin
>"Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet...."
> :O