Friend: Man you're a programmer why aren't you a billionaire already like the others??

Me: It's not that easy believe me.

Friend: I have a great idea for an app something like facebook...can be that hard?

Me: :/

Friend: you could do that instead of your no pay opensource shit...

Me: FUCK YOU AND YOUR STUPID BULLLLLSHIT GO FUCKING DIE YOU PIECE OF SHIT !!!! YOU HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE ..STUPID SON OF A BITCH.

Piece of shit admin installed a chrome plugin which changed the new tab to no internet default image ... The whole office was pranked

Three years into studying software engineering and three quarters of my class have no idea what git is.

But by gosh, can we code the shit out of a tic tac toe game.

"You are rude."

Well yeah no shit sherlock, took you like what, 2 years to notice?

No matter what day it is, this shit keeps happening

Me to wordpress "developer"

- No, you are not a developer, you just drag and drop shit in visual composer

That felt good

i had no fucking clue it was ever gone away....who writes this shit man?

When i ask a question in StackOverflow and no one gives a shit 😐

No shit man this fuckin Spotify wrapped is all I'm seeing on social media.

Ok, so, to every pieces of shit out there that got a "revolutionary idea that will change the way we look at things" and who asks you to code it :

Fuck you, you sons of a cunt

No, i won't make your app on 3 different platforms for free, i'll make you pay for every platform you wanker, i'm a freelancer, i need money.

No, making database is not something that a little business cunt like you can handle, you don't even know what sql means

And fuck no, I won't make that shit in 2 weeks just because your peabrain thinks that it'll make mad dosh and that "It MusT bE eAsy to Do!!111", "a dating app but with a twist" won't work you gobeshit

If you want me to work on this shit, you give me money, specs and shit, you handle the rest, if it doesn't make money, it'll be your problem. I'm not your employee you wanker

Fuck y'all

New phone, after using double-tap to upvote a rant devRant told me that I can upvote rants by double-tapping. No shit sherlock

Well thanks for nothing

SQL is the only database you’ll ever use. Don’t bother to learn anything else. If you ever need to store anything, use an SQL database. No .txt or that shit.

Answer from 3rd party software company: "we can't fix these bugs because it requires development on our side".. hehe, yeah, no shit 😂

There is no reason for any developer to not know git well. No fucking reason. Stop making shit harder for everyone by being like “oh I’m not the keenest on git” STFU and just learn it better you pussy.

When I find a video tutorial I like,

"Hey! I might actually watch this in normal speed instead of the usual 2x".

Does anyone else hate the screens after you're done updating Windows 10. "Hi, we've updated your computer"

Like no shit Windows I just spent 4 hours waiting for you to finish updating and 5 restarts later.

When you do some cool shit at work but exactly zero people outside of it will understand

/*
* Name
*/
private static final String NAME = "name";

No shit Sherlock...

I opened a tutorial in youtube about web development , suddenly enter wix add
"You need a website why not do it yourself"
Me: no shit thats my job to work on a website but not on wix

How to be the Dev with no friends

Say:

"DevRant is shit"
"SO is shit!! "
" Quora is shit"
"I dont need Friends"

Voila: ur life is ruined now

Lmao I'm no mathematician but this shit doesn't add up.

Well, no shit

STOP BREAKING FOR NO FUCKING REASON YOU FRAGILE PIECE OF BUG-INFESTED SHIT

I’M NOT EVEN TOUCHING ANYTHING WTH

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! FOR FUCK SAKES!
FUCKING GODDAMN FUCK SHIT CUNT FUCK!

no reasons needed... that's my rant

Have I mentioned lately how much I LOVE the stability of slack (and electron apps in general)?

Got notified of a new message in slack, clicked the channel and this is what I see, even after a restart. No content or UI controls of any kind are being rendered. No workspaces, no loading spinners, no errors, no warnings ... just nothing.

I don't give a fuck about your integrations, apps, giphy, video calls, search, threading ... I just want to read text.

Piece of fucking shit

I really fucking hate CSS. I have no idea how to use it and all my websites look like complete shit. I’m cool with JavaScript and some of its libraries and frameworks, but css is a bitch.

I resigned today 😍
No more dealing with shit architecture and experimental beta technologies being used in production which went down constantly 😎
Back to good ol' product development! 🤩
One month notice period to go

So this client wanted a demo on Dockers. So I gave the demo with some microservices running on different containers. Later the clients come back and say, "Docker is good. But please fit all the microservices in one container." I say but that defeats the purpose of microservices. But no, the client say. I tried explaining but no is no. Shit!! Fine! Have it your way!!

I always wanted to have comments in JSON files, but I just discovered a really good alternative:
{
"//": "This is a comment",
"somekey": "somevalue"
}

Looks kinda ugly but it works! No need for special unconventional parsers and shit.

Boss: Why it has a sad face on it? Nice ball. ** Tries to kidnap the stressball**
Shit NO Mothefucker touches ma ball !!

No, css is not evil, that God forsaken mother fucking useless piece of horse shit wanking ass fucking whore framework known as bootstrap is.

I was hired as a programmer, but I feel like the correct term is reprogrammer, because no one can code for shit at my job...

I'm doing code review. Unsure about the deadline, I ask my co-worker:
Me: "Guess I'm half through, when do I have to be done?"
Co-worker: "Well if you're half through, you are already half done."
Me: "No shit, Sherlock."

LOL

Today `master` turned into `main` for me on Github and I was like "wait did someone make a branch on my repo."

Should of been called the "magic" branch because shit breaks for no reason like magic.

No code review for hundreds of thousand $ app with oldest stack pile of shit

I created an app that would let people in software development and general I.T related fields to bitch about shit and just rant about stuff.

But two glorious assholes stole it from me. So no startup.

No clue if repost or not, but holy shit this is accurate.

I have a year to figure shit out and get a job.

No savings, no nothing after that year.

One year.

Woke up this morning with a fuck this shit mood. I need to write test specs for a system I don't know shit about, and it seems no one who work with this system wants to talk to me, so I gave up and started devranting and reading a game dev book. Fuck this shitty job.

Linux broken: no problem: can fix it
Windows broken: shit need to reinstall

No Wi-Fi = No Food.. Great motivation to pay your internet bill on time... This 'smart' shit is going way too far lol..

No shit. ✌🏼

Whenever I'm trying new tech at work I don't keep interrupting people ta help me with error messages because ITS A FUCKING NEW TECH AND NO ONE WORKS WITH THAT SHIT!

WHY THE FUCK YOU KEEP ASKING ME FOR HELP WITH YOUR FUCKED UP NODE SHIT AFTER I TOLD YOU THAT I DON'T LIKE IT? STOP IT!

Life is hard when you are a developer

I have nothing wrong with being frequently asked what I am majoring in. However, I am going for COMPUTER SCIENCE not FUCKING IT. Please for the love of fuck stop suggesting I try to get a job with some shitty company as an IT guy. I have no interest in being an IT guy. I want to fucking code shit, not fix your shit and help you do basic shit that you're too fucking incompetent to figure out.

*Join a whatsapp chat group
*Mute Group, no notifications
*5 minutes later, 563 messages

Shit

"Update on the last meeting, we'll either release what we've got or do something different"

WELL NO SHIT! 🤦‍♂️

Some of y'all talk way too much shit about web development tools/libs without being web devs yourselves......

I don't know enough about OS development to talk shit, you see me doing it? no

fk me I am getting so fucking fed up with this community, it used to be cool rants about the shit that we go through, now is just pop wannabe dev ranting meme bullshit

*it’s friday and everything works*
> Commit
> Run my project on monday morning
> Feature doesn’t work
> No clear error message
> Everything’s gone to shit
> Nobody knows how to fix it
> 🙂🔫

On hold to the jobcentre, coming up to 1.5 hours now...

FUCK YOU WITH A CACTUS WRAPPED IN BARBED WIRE YOU USELESS CUMSTAIN OF A GOVERNMENT. I HAVE NO FOOD, NO HOME, AND 20% BATTERY.

SORT YOUR SHIT BEFORE I FIND EVERY SINGLE FUCKING CALL CENTRE AND FIREBOMB THEM.

fucking hell. I fucking hate this shit.

Java script is like an angry girlfriend who won't tell you what is wrong.
This shit happened today.

Me: somearray.includes[stuff];
JS: I'm alright everything is fine.
Me: no it's not, Clearly the feature is not working.
JS:* silence*
Me: Fine be that way.. * spends lot of time debugging finally finds the issue*...oh shit.
Me: somearray.includes(stuff);
JS: I SAID NO TRAILING SPACE IN END OF THE LINE YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT NO TRAILING FUCKING SPACES AAAAHHHH!!!

New job...
No introduction to project
No database overview
No documentation
No commented code

Shit, hope this isn't normal in the industry I have aimed the rest of my life at

A shitty solution isn't better than no solution, but a solution found when taking a shit... now that is always the right solution.

Government: Taxes have gone up due to inflation!
Company: uWu, No problem sensei-chan.

Supply Chain: Manufacturing costs have gone up due to lack of supplies!
Company: uWu, No problem sensei-chan.

AWS: Server costs are up due to inflation!
Company: uWu, No problem sensei-chan.

Employee: Cost of my services have gone up.
Company: Listen here you little shit.

*receives email about project*

*turns around*

PM: "Hey I just sent you an email about a project"

No. Fucking. Shit.

remember you. When you feel pissed; focus on something that fulfills you; fulfills your soul; instead of focusing on shit you cannot change or have no control over

No, you self-centered asshat,
the HTTP RFC is not just a set of pedantic suggestions.

Fix your non-standard shit.

Python 2. Python is an awesome language, but Python 2. No. I want to die.
It's deprecated as of 2018, so get your shit together and update your fucking libraries, community!

Some say you are not a true developer if you haven't accidentally deleted shit and spent several hours restoring that shit!

Okay, no one says that. I made it up. I idioted today. I accidentally rm -rfed my workspace directory and lost all my code.

Now I'm re-syncing stuff back into place from my remote back up.

Git ❤

I told him that he should patch the getQueryString() due to it going through no sanitization before going straight to the API so at this point I feel entitled to fuck with their shit.

After hard learning for a while I've passed Microsoft's C# exam.
And they just gave me this. Shit. Only. No certificate.

Performance Review: You’ve slowed down.

My head: I never get to code cause all we do is meetings. Like no shit I have slowed down. Why the fuck do we have 3 days just full of meetings that I don’t even contribute to ?! I’m not gonna do overtime for this shit

Me (actually): Ah, shucks! Guess we can work on that huh?

I just read two rants with round about 40 fucking inside.

No I feel better after a fucking shit day.

Want to say thank you for your fucking good rants.

👍😁

Goodbye google+, you were totally shit and no-one used you. Piss off now.

If you are a father and you find out your kind produced a pile of shit, you change the diaper and get rid of it all. No questions asked.

If you are a developer and your colleague produces pile of shit and you try to get rid of it, you end up in meetings how this piece if shit is actually master piece of shit and have to argue about it to manager that knows shit about a shit.

Looking at the one star reviews when buying new tech is pretty telling.

If you struggle to string sentences together, it's no wonder you can't get shit to work.

No matter how hard requirement look or the thing you're going to develop JUST START THAT SHIT it will take time but you can and will do it.

SOOOO FUCKING FUCKING MOTHERFUCKING FRUSTRATED WITH PYTHON IMPORTS.

I WANT TO SMASH MY FUCKING SHITTY ASS LAPTOP AND GO BECOME AND FUCKING OUTDOOR INSTRUCTOR OR SOME SHIT BECAUSE IM SO FED UP OF THIS COMPUTER NO WORKY SHIT.

FUCK.

I do apologise for the caps there.

Never thought i Would have to say this: You see someone saying pedo weird shit, you are supposed to attack them on them, no mercy, no quarter is to be given to these weird fucks. Yet we have people defending them, i am sorry if my southern Texan comes out, but i cant fathom the idea of saying weird pedo shit and not being against it, y'all fucking mental.

-If you see that shit you report it, there is no "lets talk" NO no, you report it, fkning assholes.

This community has gone to shit, and the owners of this site are fucking useless in terms of moderation, this is a disgrace. And you shitbags that agree with shit or try to mend it fucking gross me out.

Touch some grass you fucking neckbeards, maybe then your reality wouldn't be so distorted

Being a programmer in a scientific discipline can be infuriating.

using "no one" ="almost no one"
using everyone = "almost everyone"

1. No one knows what even the very idea of good practice is. And everyone refuses to learn. 3k lines of repetitive copy pasted main. 500 lines of plotting method.

2. Raw C-style pointer based array creation. Won't use develope array libraries because what if development stops. FUCKING HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR CODE WHAT IF DEVELOPMENT ON YOUR CODE STOPS. FUCK.

3. LOOP VARIABLES DECLARED AT THE BEGINNING OF THE METHOD WHY.

4. Everyone wants to make modular, independent code. No one wants to use OOP. NOPE. ALL IN ONE FILE. WRITE C++ LIKE A FUCKING PYTHON NOTEBOOK. FUCK.

5. LIBRARIES OH MY GOD PLEASE DO NOT CODE UP YOUR MATRIX MULTIPLICATION. PLEASE DO NOT TRIPLE LOOP IT. NO. THE LINEAR ALGEBRA LIBRARY WILL STAY IN DEVELOPMENT.

6. Please realize that literally not one comment over an 1800 line file does not help anyone.

FUCKING. WHY. WHY ARE WE SCIENTISTS SO GOOD AT SCIENCE AND SO FUCKING SHIT AT THE CODE THAT MAKES OUR SCIENCE HAPPEN. WHY. FUCKING. WHY. FUCK.

Someone commented the import block with “This is the import section”

I really wanted to add a comment under it that said “no shit”

Holy fuck is learning new frameworks frustrating.

I'm trying to setup a simple fucking flutter app and all their tutorials are basic shit with no auth/complex routing.

Any feature of flutter that's not in a tutorial has absolute shit documentation with 0 examples on how to use it.

Material app has like 20 properties and if you click on something like on generate there is shit for knowing what the fuck it's expecting.

Stackoverflow has a ton a code but that's just it, code. I have absolutely no idea how they generate the code they have from the documentation on the site. They must have been following flutter from the start.

Ahhhhh! 😠

NO. FUCKIN. THANKS. LIKE GOD.
I can't use a SINGLE google service without Google trying to push its shit down my throat.

The moment when even Google show no realted searches, is the moment when you realise you are in some real shit !!!
#stuckupcode #noclue

When management says we don't want open source...because there is no support, and we can't afford Enterprise licence because it eats away the profit, and shit needs to be done in lightening fast way...FUCK!!!

I’d rather we have no documentation than shit outdated documentation that just wastes our time.

!dev

What kind of a motherfucking city is this! (Mumbai) Every fucking road has a shit ton of traffic and no one gives a shit about people walking nearby. An asshole drove over my foot while I was crossing the road, motherfucker. Traffic signals not working, no traffic constables to see anything. And people talk and keep telling this is the spirit of Mumbai. Shitty infrastructure is the spirit of Mumbai. Fuck everyone!

When in internship you have to read 150000 lines of code to make changes and the code does not have any comments, no indentation, no documentation, no wiki. You'll be like fuck this shit. I'm outta here.

o2 business login. The whole interface is built in flash. Fucking Flash! Can't even login! No fallback. WTF!!! Useless piece of shit bastards.

everybody in tech who got laid off: "remember your employment is just a business decision"

yeah, no shit

though you all were smart engineers

Fuck life... No seriously fuck life...
This shit better end ASAP

Love it when testers loose there shit and take loads of screenshots, arrows everywhere, the lot...
But no explanation of what they are actually trying to show.
😂

No shit, Sherlock!

Shit, no internet in office for more than 4 hours. BTW I'm chilling..🙃
What you would do with out internet in your office

Bought a tumbler with thermal suction and it's double insulated. No-spill-for-clumsy-devs kind of shit.

Worth the monehhh
#careless

Instagram returns 404 when profile is not found and no user is logged in but returns 200 for the same url when any user is logged in. WTF!
Took me so long to debug this shit

Happy world penguin day!

Added a new feature. Saw no traffic. Removed it thinking no one liked it. Receive a bunch of angry emails.

I forgot to tag shit properly. FML.

Doing my internship now, and seems like I need to get used to naming files and other things properly again. No more 'that thing','stuff','important shit','that other thing' etc file names

Holy fucking shit germany... what the fuck is wrong with you?! the FUCKING TELECOM CONTROLS MOST OF THE FUCKING INTERNET?! Like holy fucking shit?! And what did they announce? svdsl... SVDSL?! SUPER VECTORING DSL?! I mean... you take the oldest car... make it a little better... you get SDSL... And then? you go for Fiber? no. YOU MAKE THE FUCKING SHIT EVEN DEEPER! You take your OLD FUCKING CAR AND MAKE IT A ZOMBIE! And then you get Super Vectoring DSL... holy shit germany... take your shit together and EXPAND YOUR FUCKING FIBER NETWORK! Fuck.

I've no idea what is wrong with wordpress developers.
Their code was probably written with their asses.
Even the wordpress API is a big shit with very beautiful function names like "the_content".

Submiting a form with Ajax without e.preventDefault()

Chrome : Yeah it's all good
Firefox : No. Eat shit. Display a length error in console...
IE : I'll let you pass but I'll crash right after...

I'll never forget again

You know it is gonna be "fun" integrating client APIs, when all of them respond with
"Thanks for submitting the request"
And no error or status code whatsoever, no matter what you send.

Also, the client likes to test/call this API in Internet explorer address bar, and doesn't trust Postman. Amazing shit dude.

"We totally know everything about SEO, you should trust us and pay us so your website is #01 because we know how Google ranks their shit" (not literally)

No fuck you. No one knows how google ranks pages. No one. And your pseudo information is even free to find on the first google result about seo that is above yours. Oh look, they must be better than you with that.

Adobe, who the fuck told you to put an icon on the desktop? Knock that shit off, no one wants to open Acrobat XD from the fucking desktop.

Hmmm!!! google photos me null? am no null shit.

Ran Windows RAM diagnostic tools because I was too lazy to get my Linux USB-stick. Ran for 20 minutes, restarted - "There are hardware problems present."

NO SHIT. No info how many errors, no log file mentioned, no code or anything. Something happened. How retarded can a diagnostic tool be?

Guess laziness gets you punished immediately...

Me yesterday evening:

"Fuck java, fuck JVM, fuck everything about it, shit doesn't work for some reason, no runtime errors, no compiler errors, no syntax errors, nothing, *turns off computer*".

Me today morning(coffee = false), after comparing the documented example code provided by the API with one someone else made, I've noticed that the one provided by the API was messed up and couldn't work.

"Lemme change that one value in the properties...okay here we go"
Shit works out perfectly.

FUCK FALSELY DOCUMENTED CODE

FUCK DOCUMENTATIONS IN GENERAL

Importing modules in python is the biggest shit i have done in my life. ALWAYS SOMETHING IS NOT FOUND. I have no fuckin clue who came up with this shit. I fuckin hate python for that so so much
EASY LANGUAGE GO TO HELL

I have no idea how the fuck it happens, but whenever my mom uses computer, somehow, she manages to end up with the stupid shit Ask and other useless shitty extensions taking over Google Chrome!

:/

No, stop playing that shit, for fuck sakes.

No one want's to listen to your music with you, especially not that hillbilly crap you are listening to right now.

I'm trying to fucking concentrate. Time to stop, turn it off. You fucking twat.

No, just no. Who does this shit ? I turned on 2FA for a reason.

We have started working on a new web based editor software. It already has 132 unit test after 3 months but can‘t do shit. In has no functionality, yet.^^

No way!!! a theme update messed up all my work in a WordPress plugin, I need a way to inherit a theme plugin and edit it using a child plugin, but no, WordPress is completely a piece of shit!!

ps: Grammarly says this rant sounds optimistic.

Why the fuck they keep insisting a backend developer to do frontend shit?

No fucking shit I'm slow on this crap. And i told them several times it's not my forte.And they keep inisting to keeping a high standard blah blah blah

Ffs just hire a frontend already.

I'll find another job. I don't care at this point.

React router is shit
I have never seen more retarded library.

Not only those suckers change the 100% of the API every fucking update for no reason, also they have the most fucked up documentation ever.

No search in the docs!!! Fucking bullshit examples with no such easy things like how to create nested routes.

Please, stop using this piece of shit, I'm tired of working with this fucking abomination. Hope they will delete their shit repo one day.

I just found a 980 line long method in one of our legacy code bases.... And I need to add to it. There are no unit tests and I desperately want to refactor that shit....

apparently my bank's password length limit of 10,000 is too much for paypal's app to handle and it fucking imploded. sadly, no screenshots were allowed by the app, but it fucking broke so hard it spat logs and shit at me with no formatting or anything. it was NUTS dude

"File exists", when executing a script, is the most irritating error I think I've gotten yet. No shit it exists

While in the banking world, I had a project where I had to automate an import into a shit system called CRAWiz. The data had to come from multiple archaic loan systems with no API and tons of shit data.

After implementing, the shit data came to light. Instead of fixing shit data (and using their loan systems correctly), they decided to go back to digging through physical files and manually importing. They blamed CRAWiz and decided to go with a new system to import their shit data into. I warned them repeatedly that a new system would not fix the shit data but they couldn't accept it. I left at that point. 😂

I just fucking hate compiling this fucking C# (ASP.NET) code and then transferring to staging server. Fuck you.....no no no listen to me fuck you and fuck this shit.

Lucky shit: no need to clean ass/toilet

Lucky call: Boss/Client asks you immediately after you say Hello if you were ill, and leaves you alone

Today I had both!

Hard times are coming....

Node, npm, node-sass - no, the whole JS universe, you fucking piece of shit!

Fuck you royally!

"My Website is beautiful"
"Mine Is better"
"No yours is shit"
FUCK OFF!
I DONT GIVE A DAMN
About HOW FUCKING overloaded your COCKSITE Is! I DONT GIVE A SHIT!
Why? Because of TWO MOTHERFUCKING REASONS!
First: I dont GIVE A SINGLE FUCK
Second:
MOTHERFUCKINGWEBSITE.COM IS THE REAL SHIT

An update on my rant about that interview I had.
They emailed saying they're sorry I didn't pass etc.

My literal response was: wow. Shocker. No shit I didn't pass 😂

Web version of whatsapp requires your phone to work, my phone is dead, fuck me.

They should spend money to make the web version better instead of dat stories shit that no one use

Am I contractually obligated to give a shit after 9pm?

Today, I say no.

I think I figured where to draw the line when trying to learn cybersecurity.

Learning ActiveDirectory.

No fucking thanks, I’d rather eat a big steaming pile of dog shit.

!dev

I hate the fucking weekends.

Stuck in a family gathering where no one gives a minuscule shit about me or my comments.

No one available on discord to chat while in the midst of this depressing environment.

fuck meeeee...

Microsoft is asshoe.
They tried to force update a Windows 10 Home machine to Windows 11. Nobody clicked okay on anything. It had icon in task bar indicating it would install it on reboot. I had to go into the update settings to click "no for now". Fuck you microsoft. Eat shit and die. Just leave my shit alone.

You know what I hate more than bugs/shitty docs/no VCS?

Recoding the whole damn thing in another language, from ground up to do exactly the same shit. Why WHY must developers shit hundreds of solutions into space only to say "Huh, look at my software, it was I who developed it." No, you simply recoded it and wasted your time and everyone else's time searching for a solution.

Working in my first "modern" website, a personal blog. Holy fscking crap does this shit suck. Layout and CSS etc is basically a trial and error gig at best. There is no rhyme or reason. Why?!?!

I work in a multinational ..time stamps everywhere without fucking Timezones..fucking Jira shit why is there no TZ on this shit…utter cunts who configured it or the software itself

yeah I am a software engineer.
yea I am a programmer too.
yeah I am behind my laptop all the time..

but no I don't want to fix your computer.
I have no interest in changing your windows, installing antivirus on your pc and so on..

just understand it , God damn these shit people :(

5000 scss file with the name global.scss styling.

How fucking dumb can you be to fucking mess up a clean component based architecture like Foundation or Bootstrap and fill it with shit in a single file.

No wonder WP gets shit. The legacy code is usually shit.

And to put the shit cherry on top. This motherfucker had a settings.scss file with all general components and he never used it.

Fucker put different font size in px everywhere! Fucking asshole!!!

Got no one to drunk dial so I'm here posting shit on devRant :D

Holy shit I had no idea we can use content: attr() in pseudo elements in css! It's a whole new world baby!

Found this line in code that's been in prod for 10 years

"int kak = object.getValue()"

There is no contextual reason for it to be called kak, which means shit in Afrikaans

I worked with this hack of a backend dev that was too lazy to add a complex(ish) object to our CMS tool. His solution?

One giant-ass text box with the label "put JSON here".

If tech people were using it I wouldn't mind, but our poor content managers have no idea what json is. Plus like... no examples, no schema... they would have to change shit then go look at the website to see if it worked. Fucking asshole.

Plus.. I mean SHIT, MAN! This was in a Node.js tool... if you have the Json parser you could just GENERATE the respective form fields. DO YOUR JOB

I know by heart that "premature optimization is the root of all evil" but not when I'm coding, no! I premature optimize the shit out of my code until I get crippled down and then I undo everything and make a working version no matter how terrible it is.

"Pay more attention to the house"

Oh, really?

I'm working here!

Why every non tech person acts like I'm doing no fucking shit all day?

These types of things makes me want open my own fucking office.

How to fuck a web developer:
1- Introduce a shiny new shitty web component that is nearly impossible to figure out how to change it’s fucking background color, yeah.
Welcome everyone to 2019 why even it was so easy to change and customize your own shit, let’s just introduce thaaa faaacking web components and fuck everyone else. Let everyone learn again how to do the simplest shit ever.
Yes fuck everyone that is used to change and customize in an easy way.
“yUo wAnT uS nOt tO UsE SoC anD cLEan koOde?”
No no no. We will fuck you instead.

Don't you fucking love it when there are no errors, and still, something doesn't work. It's so frustrating. I've been debugging this shit for like 2 days. UGH!

I sit on toilet to take a shit and i started falling asleep! I shit even while i sleep! This is magnificent. Miraculous. Every day its the same shit but more advanced style of shitting. I am becoming very skilled at shitting. I deserve to get fucking paid every time i take a shit. There should be a sport about who can shit more often every day and I'd be the winner. Bullshit floats all around us every day especially from jobs and interviews. It is inevitable to avoid it. Beautiful. And it does make sense. I keep saying life is shit anyways every time some shit happens. And im always right -- life IS shit anyways. The keyword is **anyways**. Because no matter what you do or dont do, life will be shit Anyways. Life is empty and meaningless. Even shit has more meaning than life itself. If meaning is something that is made up then you can't live life at all. If meaning is what you make it then there is no default meaning in the entire existence. All of it is shit. We either exist because God made us and doesnt want to tell us why or we exist by chance of statistical randomness. Hopefully its the first option as its less depressing

Btw terraform is fucking good

RANT
JetBrains should be renamed in “Shit for brains”.

Actually no. Even the dump I take in the morning has more intelligence than ANY product of that “company”.

What a fucking waste of time…

THE FUCK MICROSOFT?! HOW COULD YOU FUCK UP ALT+BACKSPACE IN WORD 2016 WHAT IS THIS SHIT SUPPOSED TO DO IT MAKES NO SENSE, YOU CANNOT EVEN UNDO IT WHAT FAGGOT TESTED YOUR UI WHILE BEEING HIGH ON REDMOND DIRT. AND WHICH KIND OF MASTURBATING MONKEY IMPLEMENTED THIS SHIT.

My phone just died. Got a new phone on recommendation of friends and flash Jolla on it. The OS is super nice but the "Android support" doesnt work. No lastpass, no netflix, no prime, signal works half, no banking app.

I really need my windows phone back. It just worked without issues. After two android phones and now a Jolla in about two years im kinda done with all this shit.

Angular material is shit.

Angular material has literally no documentation. There is no search on their shit docs. And there is absolutely no info in their docs about some shit they use.
So when you need to know what the fuck does smth like MatOption mean (what inputs does this piece of fuck takes?) you will need to dig into the code.

How the fuck does a library with such shit documentation that makes no fucking sense have 43k+ weekly downloads

Failed asserting that false is true.

No shit sherlock ;/

Fucking garbage piece of shit microsoft httpclient

identical request works in node!

identical request works in postman!

but noooooooo httpclient, you have to add the content length on the content itself, can't add authorization header except through special way, serialization is wrong bunch of shit pile of shit no working shit

incompetent fucks giving no shit about agreed git flow

merging directly to master
complaining about conflicts and not willing to solve it themselves

People on election day: "OMG a subset of the machines are not working!!"

People who work in IT every single day: "lol no shit."

No shit, it works on my machine

Got tired of Windows 10 giving me BSODs

Tried fixing it (previous rant)

Decided to get rid of it

Purged Windows 10 along with Mint for good

Booted Solus (It's awesome)

Installing..

Installation failed - Input/Output error(5)

?

Maybe ISO got corrupted

Downloaded ISO again (painfully slowly)

Installing...

Success!

Booted to Login screen

Incorrect username/password (shit)

Tried again x times (absolutely correct username and password, I'm sure)

Doesn't work

Booted from the same USB again

Format and Install (again)

Installing..

Installation failed - Input/Output error(5)

:(

I'm not sure what's going wrong here..

My laptop is soulless right now..

there's a shit game from 2004 i can't play because of StarFORCE DRM and by god i'm gonna crack it, copyright laws and shit can suck my fucking cock no copies work anymore

I'm relatively new to the whole development and stuff, so I have no idea how usual process goes.

So when my project moved onto closed beta, I thought I could rest a bit.

NOPE.

Apparently half the shit I've done sucks so much and I need to debug the shit out of it.

Bless the testers.

It’s been a loooong hiatus from devRant but I’m back and still no swipe to exit a rant. Cmon, that shit would make this app easier to navigate.

I wrote a function getAllFags and wondered why my shit wasnt working (no pun intended) when i called getAllFaqs

Ever since i learned terraform i cannot go back. I cant fucking use the ui anymore. This shit is too good. 1 command to create all bullshit and 1 command to destroy all bullshit. Fantastic. Misconfigured shit? Just fix it in a file and 1 command to update it. Perfect. Need to add more shit? Add more lines and 1 command to update. Shitastic. Instead of misconfiguring bullshit or forgetting to delete some shit manually i can simply just do it all 1 command no errors

HOWEVER i noticed sometimes even terraform gets fucked up with bullshit. When im destroying my infra it infinitely says destroying. As if its stuck in that loop. No idea why. So i have to manually destroy the bullshit and then run destroy a fww more times till it works

boolean experience = false;
boolean get_a_job;

while(!experience){

get_a_job = false;

while(!get_a_job){

experience = false;

while(!experience){

get_a_job = false;

.....

«To infinity and beyond!»

This whole platform can be summarized as: "I have no clue what I am doing and now it's broken... man, fuck whoever created this shit..."

One of those ducks better have my name on it.

But sadly not 😖

No Wayne but a William, all ways same shit, might as well change my name.

Seriously Windows 10, get your shit together. No less than 10 blue screens within an hour.

I fucking hate Linux. Anytime I ever try to install it onto ANY machine- theres always some bull shit that prevents it from installing correctly. I fucking hate it. It makes me so pissed off holy shit you have no idea. Its been like that anytime I try to install anything really...

Life is pure shit. No. I am pure shit. An unapritetivtive shit. Hate myself.

Renaming a file is just too difficult for this piece of shit software.

Fixing bugs? Fuck no.

Fixing crashes? Fuck no.

Fixing the unnavigable IDE settings? Fuck no.

The IntelliJ platform is a bloated piece of shit at every level.

JetBrains cannot produce software that isn't held together by duct tape.

I can't name a single item of software they've ever produced that isn't a bloated piece of shit.

Even if you are prepared to waste a lot of time trying to file a bug report – which they usually just ignore or pretend not to be reproducible – you have to use another in-house heap of shit called YouTrack.

Have you tried using this piece of trash that masquerades as a bug tracker?

These people are fucking clinically insane.

While your IDE becomes unresponsive and crashes without warning, or your keyboard shortcuts just mysteriously stop working in the IDE, or indexing just stops working for no reason, why not check out their TikTok and Twitter accounts?

They've got an excellent PR team that knows how to polish a turd for public consumption, and to make money out of it.

AAAAAAAAAHH!! Life just kicked me in the danglers, and since I can't scream in the office....

What I really hate? When a piece of code simply refuses to work. No logs, no exceptions, no sign that it even exists. HOW THE FUCK I'M SUPPOSE TO DEBUG THIS SHIT?? I drives me crazy, if everything I do changes nothing! It makes me doubt my sanity. And I like my sanity!

At 1pm,The fucking boss told me to get UI design and code for a risk management system be ready on 5pm, i DID it!!! Requires no changes or edits!!! Its done!!!
Shit fuck shit!!!!

Stuck at dealing with a huge amount of images again. 🤦
No idea how quickly I can get this object classification nn up and running, as it seems I have forgotten how to do shit. 🙄😒

> Ask scrum master question on teams

No response for 45 mins

> Ask colleague on teams

No response for 45 mins

....

Fuck it. Im going to the shitter to take a big fat shit!

*12 shits later*

Come back and see a missed call and 4 new messages from them both

.....

Cant even take a fucking shit properly! Fuck off

You think the FBI, and CIA would be smart enough not to put their shit on the internet... but no.

November is coming up. That means no mental illness month. Absolutely no front end or JS shit all month. Because it is going to be officially:
"No Nutjob November"

So keep your AOK ass to yourself in November!
(AOK, if you see this, we miss you!)

I have stopped Windows updates in my laptop. But no windows has to do some shit in order to maintain its reputation. Every 10 min I get this pop up.

Some days you’re excelling and thriving. But some days you take pleasure in eating shit, because you have no other choice.

Today someone took a shit and didn't flush...

Normally you have your typical candidates, who are pissing standing in the stalls although there are free urinals, people who don't wash their hands after pissing or just splash like 3 fingers with water. Even not washing hands after taking a dump, which is pretty disgusting... But today? Some dude in the stall next to me took a shit, wiped his butt... and went away... No flushing no washing hands... Wtf is wrong with people?

Fucking Google firebase database has no equivalent of 'SELECT * FROM shitheads LIMIT 10, 10'.
Better download those first 20 elements!

Descending order? haha. Fuck you.
Add your own custom index for that shit!

god damn it No-IP, I've opted out of these email lists 10 fucking times already. this shit is so annoying.

why is every auth provider utter and complete shit?

why are docs and tutorials that try to teach auth so complete shit?

No wonder there are so many security holes everywhere, nobody bothers to make it simple for the next person.

Next time people that cry about security/bad auth, and work in that field, this one is for you:

Well, it happened, my school managed to block SSH

It also means no more git, and if this shit isn't fixed I might be forced to use TFS

Whoop de doo

Cocoapods - an easy way TO SHIT ALL OVER YOUR MAC AND PROJECTS. Jut add frameworks to project? No way, lets put hundreds of shit, projects in projects, run all over the place some piece of shit scripts written by who knows who and for what reason, it's always fun when one little misstep can ruin all your plans for weekend.

This shit is so life draining, I can only think of jumping to the next highest paying company to keep earning more and saving for financial independence. Fuck this shit. This is no life.

YouTube Music is so fucking shit

No continue playing on refresh. Queue / Currently playing gets cleared (Wtaf?)

No logical playlist sorting by alphabet

Alphabetical order seems to restart several times and gets fucky with mixed starting letters towards the end

Absolutely no sorting options by any attribute

No continue listening on another device

No song search ability in playlists (Excuse me but what the fuck?)

SS attached shows how playlist goes from W -> Y -> axbyz

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH

VIDEO EDITING!!!
SAVE MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Great how I’ve just started a new job, haven’t been given all the licenses I need to run the software, there are multiple products with little to no documentation (and by none I mean the word “Architecture” is all there is in one of the main products ReadMe file) and I’ve a year of this! How is a company that’s this big not in any way documented like! This is gonna be long 😑

“Your code is so shit I could use it to torture people.“ - Some random kid from my Computer Science class (No, it wasn’t directed to me)

Why the fk is there still no dark theme for google calender? Mostly for phones. This shit is lame google. Even freaking outlook has a dark theme by now!

Every tech youtuber when reviewing a new phone: "The <PHONE NAME> is the best phone <COMPANY> has ever made."

Quality != more work + less talk

Quality = more talk resulting in less work.

That makes no sense mathematically.

“Let’s talk more about shit before we create shit”.

That’s a little better.

“Let’s talk more so we don’t create shit”.

Getting closer.

“Let’s talk more about what is needed till we all know what is best before we program a damn machine?”

...This is going nowhere fast.

Okay fuck it. Let’s just code some stuff. It’s more enjoyable.

What do you call a constipated detective?

No shit Sherlock!

College broke my school VM by "accidentally" pushing a policy to just me that disables being able to start anything after logging in (no DWM or Explorer, either, so just login, then infinite abyss.) Fine, nothing I can't fix, i got around shit like this in middle school. Reboot... can't get to the school's webpage. No DNS...?

No.

Windows disabled all the network services. Why? Defender didn't start, is why. Why not? School broke it. Goddammit. Gotta fix that.

There, are we ready now? NO, OFFICE ATE SHIT. FUCK, LEMME REBOOT AGAIN...

How about now? Everything works? Cool, let's get some work done. Download assignment, and... file's busted. Redownload? Nope. One more try? Nothing.

I am going to flip my shit I swear to fuck

first on call shift, have no fucking clue what im doing, have no fucking clue what belongs to what team, and why the fuck i as a member of NONE of these teams have to sort this shit out

then proceed to get interrupted by new pages as im trying to figure out what the fuck is going on with previous ones

the silver lining is its all low prio shit at least

nextjs is cancer framework. Shit so muddied together u cant maintain this shit. Random errors u have no idea where they coming from. Oh my God the hydration and useContext errors! Fuck them. Fuck nextjs

Ticket: User says thing don't work.

Me: Hey can you tell me who tried to do the thing / give me their email?

User: Isn't it in the system somewhere?

Me: MAYBE BUT I KNOW IT IS IN YOUR FUCKING EMAIL SO FUCKING GET ME THAT EMAIL ADDRESS!

Spent an hour debugging a super simple ajax post. Was 100% sure that everything was correct, I could echo the id that I wanted to delete, got no error but still the little shit was in the database. Turns out it was no echo, it was an die() right before the query...

What the fuck is a "pre test"? And why the fuck do you call it if there are no other tests after it? Get your shit together pm!!!!

Third (or fourth) AI winter coming in despite global warming. Cold war level shit cyber warfare.
C/C++ not dead, Java zombie still in the businesses.
Still no usable IDE (on Linux)

The scope for this project was absolute horse shit, and now they are mad because the end product is still horse shit...

I want to feel guilty for the outcome, but I just can't. This is something they should have had foresight for. Validation and testing is absolutely atrocious here. No official real scenario testing, and now the whole thing has been blown wide open for all the shit it can't do.