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Friend: Man you're a programmer why aren't you a billionaire already like the others??
Me: It's not that easy believe me.
Friend: I have a great idea for an app something like facebook...can be that hard?
Me: :/
Friend: you could do that instead of your no pay opensource shit...
Me: FUCK YOU AND YOUR STUPID BULLLLLSHIT GO FUCKING DIE YOU PIECE OF SHIT !!!! YOU HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE ..STUPID SON OF A BITCH.32 -
Piece of shit admin installed a chrome plugin which changed the new tab to no internet default image ... The whole office was pranked5
-
Three years into studying software engineering and three quarters of my class have no idea what git is.
But by gosh, can we code the shit out of a tic tac toe game.18 -
Me to wordpress "developer"
- No, you are not a developer, you just drag and drop shit in visual composer
That felt good3 -
Ok, so, to every pieces of shit out there that got a "revolutionary idea that will change the way we look at things" and who asks you to code it :
Fuck you, you sons of a cunt
No, i won't make your app on 3 different platforms for free, i'll make you pay for every platform you wanker, i'm a freelancer, i need money.
No, making database is not something that a little business cunt like you can handle, you don't even know what sql means
And fuck no, I won't make that shit in 2 weeks just because your peabrain thinks that it'll make mad dosh and that "It MusT bE eAsy to Do!!111", "a dating app but with a twist" won't work you gobeshit
If you want me to work on this shit, you give me money, specs and shit, you handle the rest, if it doesn't make money, it'll be your problem. I'm not your employee you wanker
Fuck y'all4 -
New phone, after using double-tap to upvote a rant devRant told me that I can upvote rants by double-tapping. No shit sherlock4
-
SQL is the only database you’ll ever use. Don’t bother to learn anything else. If you ever need to store anything, use an SQL database. No .txt or that shit.9
-
Answer from 3rd party software company: "we can't fix these bugs because it requires development on our side".. hehe, yeah, no shit 😂4
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There is no reason for any developer to not know git well. No fucking reason. Stop making shit harder for everyone by being like “oh I’m not the keenest on git” STFU and just learn it better you pussy.28
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When I find a video tutorial I like,
"Hey! I might actually watch this in normal speed instead of the usual 2x".5 -
Does anyone else hate the screens after you're done updating Windows 10. "Hi, we've updated your computer"
Like no shit Windows I just spent 4 hours waiting for you to finish updating and 5 restarts later.8 -
I opened a tutorial in youtube about web development , suddenly enter wix add
"You need a website why not do it yourself"
Me: no shit thats my job to work on a website but not on wix3 -
How to be the Dev with no friends
Say:
"DevRant is shit"
"SO is shit!! "
" Quora is shit"
"I dont need Friends"
Voila: ur life is ruined now14 -
STOP BREAKING FOR NO FUCKING REASON YOU FRAGILE PIECE OF BUG-INFESTED SHIT
I’M NOT EVEN TOUCHING ANYTHING WTH10 -
Have I mentioned lately how much I LOVE the stability of slack (and electron apps in general)?
Got notified of a new message in slack, clicked the channel and this is what I see, even after a restart. No content or UI controls of any kind are being rendered. No workspaces, no loading spinners, no errors, no warnings ... just nothing.
I don't give a fuck about your integrations, apps, giphy, video calls, search, threading ... I just want to read text.
Piece of fucking shit
9 -
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! FOR FUCK SAKES!
FUCKING GODDAMN FUCK SHIT CUNT FUCK!
no reasons needed... that's my rant3 -
I resigned today 😍
No more dealing with shit architecture and experimental beta technologies being used in production which went down constantly 😎
Back to good ol' product development! 🤩
One month notice period to go3 -
So this client wanted a demo on Dockers. So I gave the demo with some microservices running on different containers. Later the clients come back and say, "Docker is good. But please fit all the microservices in one container." I say but that defeats the purpose of microservices. But no, the client say. I tried explaining but no is no. Shit!! Fine! Have it your way!!5
-
Boss: Why it has a sad face on it? Nice ball. ** Tries to kidnap the stressball**
Shit NO Mothefucker touches ma ball !!
1 -
I was hired as a programmer, but I feel like the correct term is reprogrammer, because no one can code for shit at my job...1
-
I'm doing code review. Unsure about the deadline, I ask my co-worker:
Me: "Guess I'm half through, when do I have to be done?"
Co-worker: "Well if you're half through, you are already half done."
Me: "No shit, Sherlock."
LOL -
No, css is not evil, that God forsaken mother fucking useless piece of horse shit wanking ass fucking whore framework known as bootstrap is.12
-
I always wanted to have comments in JSON files, but I just discovered a really good alternative:
{
"//": "This is a comment",
"somekey": "somevalue"
}
Looks kinda ugly but it works! No need for special unconventional parsers and shit.29 -
I created an app that would let people in software development and general I.T related fields to bitch about shit and just rant about stuff.
But two glorious assholes stole it from me. So no startup.9 -
No Wi-Fi = No Food.. Great motivation to pay your internet bill on time... This 'smart' shit is going way too far lol..
15 -
Woke up this morning with a fuck this shit mood. I need to write test specs for a system I don't know shit about, and it seems no one who work with this system wants to talk to me, so I gave up and started devranting and reading a game dev book. Fuck this shitty job.2
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I have nothing wrong with being frequently asked what I am majoring in. However, I am going for COMPUTER SCIENCE not FUCKING IT. Please for the love of fuck stop suggesting I try to get a job with some shitty company as an IT guy. I have no interest in being an IT guy. I want to fucking code shit, not fix your shit and help you do basic shit that you're too fucking incompetent to figure out.25
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Whenever I'm trying new tech at work I don't keep interrupting people ta help me with error messages because ITS A FUCKING NEW TECH AND NO ONE WORKS WITH THAT SHIT!
WHY THE FUCK YOU KEEP ASKING ME FOR HELP WITH YOUR FUCKED UP NODE SHIT AFTER I TOLD YOU THAT I DON'T LIKE IT? STOP IT!3 -
Some of y'all talk way too much shit about web development tools/libs without being web devs yourselves......
I don't know enough about OS development to talk shit, you see me doing it? no
fk me I am getting so fucking fed up with this community, it used to be cool rants about the shit that we go through, now is just pop wannabe dev ranting meme bullshit39 -
"Update on the last meeting, we'll either release what we've got or do something different"
WELL NO SHIT! 🤦♂️5 -
*it’s friday and everything works*
> Commit
> Run my project on monday morning
> Feature doesn’t work
> No clear error message
> Everything’s gone to shit
> Nobody knows how to fix it
> 🙂🔫5 -
Java script is like an angry girlfriend who won't tell you what is wrong.
This shit happened today.
Me: somearray.includes[stuff];
JS: I'm alright everything is fine.
Me: no it's not, Clearly the feature is not working.
JS:* silence*
Me: Fine be that way.. * spends lot of time debugging finally finds the issue*...oh shit.
Me: somearray.includes(stuff);
JS: I SAID NO TRAILING SPACE IN END OF THE LINE YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT NO TRAILING FUCKING SPACES AAAAHHHH!!!7 -
On hold to the jobcentre, coming up to 1.5 hours now...
FUCK YOU WITH A CACTUS WRAPPED IN BARBED WIRE YOU USELESS CUMSTAIN OF A GOVERNMENT. I HAVE NO FOOD, NO HOME, AND 20% BATTERY.
SORT YOUR SHIT BEFORE I FIND EVERY SINGLE FUCKING CALL CENTRE AND FIREBOMB THEM.
fucking hell. I fucking hate this shit.8 -
Government: Taxes have gone up due to inflation!
Company: uWu, No problem sensei-chan.
Supply Chain: Manufacturing costs have gone up due to lack of supplies!
Company: uWu, No problem sensei-chan.
AWS: Server costs are up due to inflation!
Company: uWu, No problem sensei-chan.
Employee: Cost of my services have gone up.
Company: Listen here you little shit.12 -
*receives email about project*
*turns around*
PM: "Hey I just sent you an email about a project"
No. Fucking. Shit.3 -
New job...
No introduction to project
No database overview
No documentation
No commented code
Shit, hope this isn't normal in the industry I have aimed the rest of my life at9 -
Some say you are not a true developer if you haven't accidentally deleted shit and spent several hours restoring that shit!
Okay, no one says that. I made it up. I idioted today. I accidentally rm -rfed my workspace directory and lost all my code.
Now I'm re-syncing stuff back into place from my remote back up.
Git ❤3 -
I told him that he should patch the getQueryString() due to it going through no sanitization before going straight to the API so at this point I feel entitled to fuck with their shit.
5 -
Performance Review: You’ve slowed down.
My head: I never get to code cause all we do is meetings. Like no shit I have slowed down. Why the fuck do we have 3 days just full of meetings that I don’t even contribute to ?! I’m not gonna do overtime for this shit
Me (actually): Ah, shucks! Guess we can work on that huh?32 -
Python 2. Python is an awesome language, but Python 2. No. I want to die.
It's deprecated as of 2018, so get your shit together and update your fucking libraries, community!5 -
After hard learning for a while I've passed Microsoft's C# exam.
And they just gave me this. Shit. Only. No certificate.
14 -
I just read two rants with round about 40 fucking inside.
No I feel better after a fucking shit day.
Want to say thank you for your fucking good rants.
👍😁4 -
If you are a father and you find out your kind produced a pile of shit, you change the diaper and get rid of it all. No questions asked.
If you are a developer and your colleague produces pile of shit and you try to get rid of it, you end up in meetings how this piece if shit is actually master piece of shit and have to argue about it to manager that knows shit about a shit.2 -
Looking at the one star reviews when buying new tech is pretty telling.
If you struggle to string sentences together, it's no wonder you can't get shit to work.5 -
New GitHub Copilot Research Finds 'Downward Pressure on Code Quality': https://visualstudiomagazine.com/ar...
No shit, who would have thought that automated garbage generation could hamper quality?9 -
SOOOO FUCKING FUCKING MOTHERFUCKING FRUSTRATED WITH PYTHON IMPORTS.
I WANT TO SMASH MY FUCKING SHITTY ASS LAPTOP AND GO BECOME AND FUCKING OUTDOOR INSTRUCTOR OR SOME SHIT BECAUSE IM SO FED UP OF THIS COMPUTER NO WORKY SHIT.
FUCK.
I do apologise for the caps there.11 -
No matter how hard requirement look or the thing you're going to develop JUST START THAT SHIT it will take time but you can and will do it.
-
Being a programmer in a scientific discipline can be infuriating.
using "no one" ="almost no one"
using everyone = "almost everyone"
1. No one knows what even the very idea of good practice is. And everyone refuses to learn. 3k lines of repetitive copy pasted main. 500 lines of plotting method.
2. Raw C-style pointer based array creation. Won't use develope array libraries because what if development stops. FUCKING HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR CODE WHAT IF DEVELOPMENT ON YOUR CODE STOPS. FUCK.
3. LOOP VARIABLES DECLARED AT THE BEGINNING OF THE METHOD WHY.
4. Everyone wants to make modular, independent code. No one wants to use OOP. NOPE. ALL IN ONE FILE. WRITE C++ LIKE A FUCKING PYTHON NOTEBOOK. FUCK.
5. LIBRARIES OH MY GOD PLEASE DO NOT CODE UP YOUR MATRIX MULTIPLICATION. PLEASE DO NOT TRIPLE LOOP IT. NO. THE LINEAR ALGEBRA LIBRARY WILL STAY IN DEVELOPMENT.
6. Please realize that literally not one comment over an 1800 line file does not help anyone.
FUCKING. WHY. WHY ARE WE SCIENTISTS SO GOOD AT SCIENCE AND SO FUCKING SHIT AT THE CODE THAT MAKES OUR SCIENCE HAPPEN. WHY. FUCKING. WHY. FUCK.4 -
NO. FUCKIN. THANKS. LIKE GOD.
I can't use a SINGLE google service without Google trying to push its shit down my throat.
15 -
Someone commented the import block with “This is the import section”
I really wanted to add a comment under it that said “no shit”4 -
The moment when even Google show no realted searches, is the moment when you realise you are in some real shit !!!
#stuckupcode #noclue1 -
Holy fuck is learning new frameworks frustrating.
I'm trying to setup a simple fucking flutter app and all their tutorials are basic shit with no auth/complex routing.
Any feature of flutter that's not in a tutorial has absolute shit documentation with 0 examples on how to use it.
Material app has like 20 properties and if you click on something like on generate there is shit for knowing what the fuck it's expecting.
Stackoverflow has a ton a code but that's just it, code. I have absolutely no idea how they generate the code they have from the documentation on the site. They must have been following flutter from the start.
Ahhhhh! 😠13 -
Never thought i Would have to say this: You see someone saying pedo weird shit, you are supposed to attack them on them, no mercy, no quarter is to be given to these weird fucks. Yet we have people defending them, i am sorry if my southern Texan comes out, but i cant fathom the idea of saying weird pedo shit and not being against it, y'all fucking mental.
-If you see that shit you report it, there is no "lets talk" NO no, you report it, fkning assholes.
This community has gone to shit, and the owners of this site are fucking useless in terms of moderation, this is a disgrace. And you shitbags that agree with shit or try to mend it fucking gross me out.
Touch some grass you fucking neckbeards, maybe then your reality wouldn't be so distorted22 -
Love it when testers loose there shit and take loads of screenshots, arrows everywhere, the lot...
But no explanation of what they are actually trying to show.
😂 -
o2 business login. The whole interface is built in flash. Fucking Flash! Can't even login! No fallback. WTF!!! Useless piece of shit bastards.1
-
Holy fucking shit germany... what the fuck is wrong with you?! the FUCKING TELECOM CONTROLS MOST OF THE FUCKING INTERNET?! Like holy fucking shit?! And what did they announce? svdsl... SVDSL?! SUPER VECTORING DSL?! I mean... you take the oldest car... make it a little better... you get SDSL... And then? you go for Fiber? no. YOU MAKE THE FUCKING SHIT EVEN DEEPER! You take your OLD FUCKING CAR AND MAKE IT A ZOMBIE! And then you get Super Vectoring DSL... holy shit germany... take your shit together and EXPAND YOUR FUCKING FIBER NETWORK! Fuck.7
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Bought a tumbler with thermal suction and it's double insulated. No-spill-for-clumsy-devs kind of shit.
Worth the monehhh
#careless
8 -
Shit, no internet in office for more than 4 hours. BTW I'm chilling..🙃
What you would do with out internet in your office16 -
!dev
What kind of a motherfucking city is this! (Mumbai) Every fucking road has a shit ton of traffic and no one gives a shit about people walking nearby. An asshole drove over my foot while I was crossing the road, motherfucker. Traffic signals not working, no traffic constables to see anything. And people talk and keep telling this is the spirit of Mumbai. Shitty infrastructure is the spirit of Mumbai. Fuck everyone!6 -
everybody in tech who got laid off: "remember your employment is just a business decision"
yeah, no shit
though you all were smart engineers3 -
Doing my internship now, and seems like I need to get used to naming files and other things properly again. No more 'that thing','stuff','important shit','that other thing' etc file names1
-
I've no idea what is wrong with wordpress developers.
Their code was probably written with their asses.
Even the wordpress API is a big shit with very beautiful function names like "the_content".2 -
"We totally know everything about SEO, you should trust us and pay us so your website is #01 because we know how Google ranks their shit" (not literally)
No fuck you. No one knows how google ranks pages. No one. And your pseudo information is even free to find on the first google result about seo that is above yours. Oh look, they must be better than you with that.3 -
Added a new feature. Saw no traffic. Removed it thinking no one liked it. Receive a bunch of angry emails.
I forgot to tag shit properly. FML. -
Instagram returns 404 when profile is not found and no user is logged in but returns 200 for the same url when any user is logged in. WTF!
Took me so long to debug this shit2 -
You know it is gonna be "fun" integrating client APIs, when all of them respond with
"Thanks for submitting the request"
And no error or status code whatsoever, no matter what you send.
Also, the client likes to test/call this API in Internet explorer address bar, and doesn't trust Postman. Amazing shit dude.3 -
No, stop playing that shit, for fuck sakes.
No one want's to listen to your music with you, especially not that hillbilly crap you are listening to right now.
I'm trying to fucking concentrate. Time to stop, turn it off. You fucking twat.2 -
Ran Windows RAM diagnostic tools because I was too lazy to get my Linux USB-stick. Ran for 20 minutes, restarted - "There are hardware problems present."
NO SHIT. No info how many errors, no log file mentioned, no code or anything. Something happened. How retarded can a diagnostic tool be?
Guess laziness gets you punished immediately...1 -
No way!!! a theme update messed up all my work in a WordPress plugin, I need a way to inherit a theme plugin and edit it using a child plugin, but no, WordPress is completely a piece of shit!!
ps: Grammarly says this rant sounds optimistic.21 -
Why the fuck they keep insisting a backend developer to do frontend shit?
No fucking shit I'm slow on this crap. And i told them several times it's not my forte.And they keep inisting to keeping a high standard blah blah blah
Ffs just hire a frontend already.
I'll find another job. I don't care at this point.6 -
apparently my bank's password length limit of 10,000 is too much for paypal's app to handle and it fucking imploded. sadly, no screenshots were allowed by the app, but it fucking broke so hard it spat logs and shit at me with no formatting or anything. it was NUTS dude8
-
While in the banking world, I had a project where I had to automate an import into a shit system called CRAWiz. The data had to come from multiple archaic loan systems with no API and tons of shit data.
After implementing, the shit data came to light. Instead of fixing shit data (and using their loan systems correctly), they decided to go back to digging through physical files and manually importing. They blamed CRAWiz and decided to go with a new system to import their shit data into. I warned them repeatedly that a new system would not fix the shit data but they couldn't accept it. I left at that point. 😂 -
"File exists", when executing a script, is the most irritating error I think I've gotten yet. No shit it exists2
-
We have started working on a new web based editor software. It already has 132 unit test after 3 months but can‘t do shit. In has no functionality, yet.^^3
-
React router is shit
I have never seen more retarded library.
Not only those suckers change the 100% of the API every fucking update for no reason, also they have the most fucked up documentation ever.
No search in the docs!!! Fucking bullshit examples with no such easy things like how to create nested routes.
Please, stop using this piece of shit, I'm tired of working with this fucking abomination. Hope they will delete their shit repo one day.22 -
Me yesterday evening:
"Fuck java, fuck JVM, fuck everything about it, shit doesn't work for some reason, no runtime errors, no compiler errors, no syntax errors, nothing, *turns off computer*".
Me today morning(coffee = false), after comparing the documented example code provided by the API with one someone else made, I've noticed that the one provided by the API was messed up and couldn't work.
"Lemme change that one value in the properties...okay here we go"
Shit works out perfectly.
FUCK FALSELY DOCUMENTED CODE
FUCK DOCUMENTATIONS IN GENERAL2 -
I have no idea how the fuck it happens, but whenever my mom uses computer, somehow, she manages to end up with the stupid shit Ask and other useless shitty extensions taking over Google Chrome!
:/4 -
I just found a 980 line long method in one of our legacy code bases.... And I need to add to it. There are no unit tests and I desperately want to refactor that shit....4
-
Lucky shit: no need to clean ass/toilet
Lucky call: Boss/Client asks you immediately after you say Hello if you were ill, and leaves you alone
Today I had both!
Hard times are coming....10 -
I think I figured where to draw the line when trying to learn cybersecurity.
Learning ActiveDirectory.
No fucking thanks, I’d rather eat a big steaming pile of dog shit.10 -
An update on my rant about that interview I had.
They emailed saying they're sorry I didn't pass etc.
My literal response was: wow. Shocker. No shit I didn't pass 😂 -
I just fucking hate compiling this fucking C# (ASP.NET) code and then transferring to staging server. Fuck you.....no no no listen to me fuck you and fuck this shit.8
-
Web version of whatsapp requires your phone to work, my phone is dead, fuck me.
They should spend money to make the web version better instead of dat stories shit that no one use8 -
Microsoft is asshoe.
They tried to force update a Windows 10 Home machine to Windows 11. Nobody clicked okay on anything. It had icon in task bar indicating it would install it on reboot. I had to go into the update settings to click "no for now". Fuck you microsoft. Eat shit and die. Just leave my shit alone.11 -
5000 scss file with the name global.scss styling.
How fucking dumb can you be to fucking mess up a clean component based architecture like Foundation or Bootstrap and fill it with shit in a single file.
No wonder WP gets shit. The legacy code is usually shit.
And to put the shit cherry on top. This motherfucker had a settings.scss file with all general components and he never used it.
Fucker put different font size in px everywhere! Fucking asshole!!! -
"My Website is beautiful"
"Mine Is better"
"No yours is shit"
FUCK OFF!
I DONT GIVE A DAMN
About HOW FUCKING overloaded your COCKSITE Is! I DONT GIVE A SHIT!
Why? Because of TWO MOTHERFUCKING REASONS!
First: I dont GIVE A SINGLE FUCK
Second:
MOTHERFUCKINGWEBSITE.COM IS THE REAL SHIT2 -
I work in a multinational ..time stamps everywhere without fucking Timezones..fucking Jira shit why is there no TZ on this shit…utter cunts who configured it or the software itself4
-
yeah I am a software engineer.
yea I am a programmer too.
yeah I am behind my laptop all the time..
but no I don't want to fix your computer.
I have no interest in changing your windows, installing antivirus on your pc and so on..
just understand it , God damn these shit people :( -
Working in my first "modern" website, a personal blog. Holy fscking crap does this shit suck. Layout and CSS etc is basically a trial and error gig at best. There is no rhyme or reason. Why?!?!5
-
You know what I hate more than bugs/shitty docs/no VCS?
Recoding the whole damn thing in another language, from ground up to do exactly the same shit. Why WHY must developers shit hundreds of solutions into space only to say "Huh, look at my software, it was I who developed it." No, you simply recoded it and wasted your time and everyone else's time searching for a solution.1 -
I suddenly have no regrets leaving LastPass when they were bought out and started to go to shit.
Lastpass now contains several trackers.
https://theregister.com/2021/02/...9 -
Don't you fucking love it when there are no errors, and still, something doesn't work. It's so frustrating. I've been debugging this shit for like 2 days. UGH!2
-
My phone just died. Got a new phone on recommendation of friends and flash Jolla on it. The OS is super nice but the "Android support" doesnt work. No lastpass, no netflix, no prime, signal works half, no banking app.
I really need my windows phone back. It just worked without issues. After two android phones and now a Jolla in about two years im kinda done with all this shit.14 -
Found this line in code that's been in prod for 10 years
"int kak = object.getValue()"
There is no contextual reason for it to be called kak, which means shit in Afrikaans11 -
How to fuck a web developer:
1- Introduce a shiny new shitty web component that is nearly impossible to figure out how to change it’s fucking background color, yeah.
Welcome everyone to 2019 why even it was so easy to change and customize your own shit, let’s just introduce thaaa faaacking web components and fuck everyone else. Let everyone learn again how to do the simplest shit ever.
Yes fuck everyone that is used to change and customize in an easy way.
“yUo wAnT uS nOt tO UsE SoC anD cLEan koOde?”
No no no. We will fuck you instead.2 -
RANT
JetBrains should be renamed in “Shit for brains”.
Actually no. Even the dump I take in the morning has more intelligence than ANY product of that “company”.
What a fucking waste of time…7 -
I worked with this hack of a backend dev that was too lazy to add a complex(ish) object to our CMS tool. His solution?
One giant-ass text box with the label "put JSON here".
If tech people were using it I wouldn't mind, but our poor content managers have no idea what json is. Plus like... no examples, no schema... they would have to change shit then go look at the website to see if it worked. Fucking asshole.
Plus.. I mean SHIT, MAN! This was in a Node.js tool... if you have the Json parser you could just GENERATE the respective form fields. DO YOUR JOB2 -
THE FUCK MICROSOFT?! HOW COULD YOU FUCK UP ALT+BACKSPACE IN WORD 2016 WHAT IS THIS SHIT SUPPOSED TO DO IT MAKES NO SENSE, YOU CANNOT EVEN UNDO IT WHAT FAGGOT TESTED YOUR UI WHILE BEEING HIGH ON REDMOND DIRT. AND WHICH KIND OF MASTURBATING MONKEY IMPLEMENTED THIS SHIT.8
-
!dev
I hate the fucking weekends.
Stuck in a family gathering where no one gives a minuscule shit about me or my comments.
No one available on discord to chat while in the midst of this depressing environment.
fuck meeeee... -
Holy shit I had no idea we can use content: attr() in pseudo elements in css! It's a whole new world baby!2
-
People on election day: "OMG a subset of the machines are not working!!"
People who work in IT every single day: "lol no shit."4 -
there's a shit game from 2004 i can't play because of StarFORCE DRM and by god i'm gonna crack it, copyright laws and shit can suck my fucking cock no copies work anymore3
-
I know by heart that "premature optimization is the root of all evil" but not when I'm coding, no! I premature optimize the shit out of my code until I get crippled down and then I undo everything and make a working version no matter how terrible it is.6
-
Got tired of Windows 10 giving me BSODs
Tried fixing it (previous rant)
Decided to get rid of it
Purged Windows 10 along with Mint for good
Booted Solus (It's awesome)
Installing..
Installation failed - Input/Output error(5)
?
Maybe ISO got corrupted
Downloaded ISO again (painfully slowly)
Installing...
Success!
Booted to Login screen
Incorrect username/password (shit)
Tried again x times (absolutely correct username and password, I'm sure)
Doesn't work
Booted from the same USB again
Format and Install (again)
Installing..
Installation failed - Input/Output error(5)
:(
I'm not sure what's going wrong here..
My laptop is soulless right now..9 -
I'm relatively new to the whole development and stuff, so I have no idea how usual process goes.
So when my project moved onto closed beta, I thought I could rest a bit.
NOPE.
Apparently half the shit I've done sucks so much and I need to debug the shit out of it.
Bless the testers.3 -
incompetent fucks giving no shit about agreed git flow
merging directly to master
complaining about conflicts and not willing to solve it themselves6 -
boolean experience = false;
boolean get_a_job;
while(!experience){
get_a_job = false;
while(!get_a_job){
experience = false;
while(!experience){
get_a_job = false;
.....
«To infinity and beyond!»8 -
Fucking garbage piece of shit microsoft httpclient
identical request works in node!
identical request works in postman!
but noooooooo httpclient, you have to add the content length on the content itself, can't add authorization header except through special way, serialization is wrong bunch of shit pile of shit no working shit3 -
What I really hate? When a piece of code simply refuses to work. No logs, no exceptions, no sign that it even exists. HOW THE FUCK I'M SUPPOSE TO DEBUG THIS SHIT?? I drives me crazy, if everything I do changes nothing! It makes me doubt my sanity. And I like my sanity!3
-
Renaming a file is just too difficult for this piece of shit software.
Fixing bugs? Fuck no.
Fixing crashes? Fuck no.
Fixing the unnavigable IDE settings? Fuck no.
The IntelliJ platform is a bloated piece of shit at every level.
JetBrains cannot produce software that isn't held together by duct tape.
I can't name a single item of software they've ever produced that isn't a bloated piece of shit.
Even if you are prepared to waste a lot of time trying to file a bug report – which they usually just ignore or pretend not to be reproducible – you have to use another in-house heap of shit called YouTrack.
Have you tried using this piece of trash that masquerades as a bug tracker?
These people are fucking clinically insane.
While your IDE becomes unresponsive and crashes without warning, or your keyboard shortcuts just mysteriously stop working in the IDE, or indexing just stops working for no reason, why not check out their TikTok and Twitter accounts?
They've got an excellent PR team that knows how to polish a turd for public consumption, and to make money out of it.
14 -
One of those ducks better have my name on it.
But sadly not 😖
No Wayne but a William, all ways same shit, might as well change my name.
6 -
This shit is so life draining, I can only think of jumping to the next highest paying company to keep earning more and saving for financial independence. Fuck this shit. This is no life.6
-
Today someone took a shit and didn't flush...
Normally you have your typical candidates, who are pissing standing in the stalls although there are free urinals, people who don't wash their hands after pissing or just splash like 3 fingers with water. Even not washing hands after taking a dump, which is pretty disgusting... But today? Some dude in the stall next to me took a shit, wiped his butt... and went away... No flushing no washing hands... Wtf is wrong with people?5 -
god damn it No-IP, I've opted out of these email lists 10 fucking times already. this shit is so annoying.
2 -
why is every auth provider utter and complete shit?
why are docs and tutorials that try to teach auth so complete shit?
No wonder there are so many security holes everywhere, nobody bothers to make it simple for the next person.
Next time people that cry about security/bad auth, and work in that field, this one is for you:
5 -
Every tech youtuber when reviewing a new phone: "The <PHONE NAME> is the best phone <COMPANY> has ever made."6
-
Quality != more work + less talk
Quality = more talk resulting in less work.
That makes no sense mathematically.
“Let’s talk more about shit before we create shit”.
That’s a little better.
“Let’s talk more so we don’t create shit”.
Getting closer.
“Let’s talk more about what is needed till we all know what is best before we program a damn machine?”
...This is going nowhere fast.
Okay fuck it. Let’s just code some stuff. It’s more enjoyable.7 -
YouTube Music is so fucking shit
No continue playing on refresh. Queue / Currently playing gets cleared (Wtaf?)
No logical playlist sorting by alphabet
Alphabetical order seems to restart several times and gets fucky with mixed starting letters towards the end
Absolutely no sorting options by any attribute
No continue listening on another device
No song search ability in playlists (Excuse me but what the fuck?)
SS attached shows how playlist goes from W -> Y -> axbyz
2 -
Why the fk is there still no dark theme for google calender? Mostly for phones. This shit is lame google. Even freaking outlook has a dark theme by now!9
-
“Your code is so shit I could use it to torture people.“ - Some random kid from my Computer Science class (No, it wasn’t directed to me)
-
Great how I’ve just started a new job, haven’t been given all the licenses I need to run the software, there are multiple products with little to no documentation (and by none I mean the word “Architecture” is all there is in one of the main products ReadMe file) and I’ve a year of this! How is a company that’s this big not in any way documented like! This is gonna be long 😑2
-
It’s been a loooong hiatus from devRant but I’m back and still no swipe to exit a rant. Cmon, that shit would make this app easier to navigate.7
-
first on call shift, have no fucking clue what im doing, have no fucking clue what belongs to what team, and why the fuck i as a member of NONE of these teams have to sort this shit out
then proceed to get interrupted by new pages as im trying to figure out what the fuck is going on with previous ones
the silver lining is its all low prio shit at least1 -
This whole platform can be summarized as: "I have no clue what I am doing and now it's broken... man, fuck whoever created this shit..."4
-
College broke my school VM by "accidentally" pushing a policy to just me that disables being able to start anything after logging in (no DWM or Explorer, either, so just login, then infinite abyss.) Fine, nothing I can't fix, i got around shit like this in middle school. Reboot... can't get to the school's webpage. No DNS...?
No.
Windows disabled all the network services. Why? Defender didn't start, is why. Why not? School broke it. Goddammit. Gotta fix that.
There, are we ready now? NO, OFFICE ATE SHIT. FUCK, LEMME REBOOT AGAIN...
How about now? Everything works? Cool, let's get some work done. Download assignment, and... file's busted. Redownload? Nope. One more try? Nothing.
I am going to flip my shit I swear to fuck -
PC-Lint is such a useless piece of shit! Tons of warnings with no actual benefit. The obvious motivation behind this crap was to throw as many warnings as this cheap sucker can even generate with no effort to minimise false positives. Typical snakeoil shit, reminds me of ZoneAlarm back then which reported every ping as "attack" just to fool the clueless into buying. Meanwhile, the actual bugs that sophisticated tools can find pass unnoticed through PC-Lint.
-
Ticket: User says thing don't work.
Me: Hey can you tell me who tried to do the thing / give me their email?
User: Isn't it in the system somewhere?
Me: MAYBE BUT I KNOW IT IS IN YOUR FUCKING EMAIL SO FUCKING GET ME THAT EMAIL ADDRESS!1 -
The scope for this project was absolute horse shit, and now they are mad because the end product is still horse shit...
I want to feel guilty for the outcome, but I just can't. This is something they should have had foresight for. Validation and testing is absolutely atrocious here. No official real scenario testing, and now the whole thing has been blown wide open for all the shit it can't do. -
November is coming up. That means no mental illness month. Absolutely no front end or JS shit all month. Because it is going to be officially:
"No Nutjob November"
So keep your AOK ass to yourself in November!
(AOK, if you see this, we miss you!)4 -
Some days you’re excelling and thriving. But some days you take pleasure in eating shit, because you have no other choice.
-
First day at Jetpack Compose: Wow, how cool!
One week of Jetpack Compose: This preview never works right!
One month of Jetpack Compose: Damn! There's no mature component to this shit!
Two months of Jetpack Compose: There's no going back and start using embedded applications as intent.
Don't get into it.4 -
Well, it happened, my school managed to block SSH
It also means no more git, and if this shit isn't fixed I might be forced to use TFS
Whoop de doo
11 -
Spent an hour debugging a super simple ajax post. Was 100% sure that everything was correct, I could echo the id that I wanted to delete, got no error but still the little shit was in the database. Turns out it was no echo, it was an die() right before the query...
-
TL;DR Asus is a scumbag company when it comes to software.
I love Asus, they make awesome hardware but man do they blow ass when it comes to software and their customer support. They had perfectly working Link To MyAsus app (on Windows and Android) but no no no, we have to release updates and break this shit. Now I cannot use my phone as a webcam.
Fuck this shit.5 -
Fucking Google firebase database has no equivalent of 'SELECT * FROM shitheads LIMIT 10, 10'.
Better download those first 20 elements!
Descending order? haha. Fuck you.
Add your own custom index for that shit!3 -
I have stopped Windows updates in my laptop. But no windows has to do some shit in order to maintain its reputation. Every 10 min I get this pop up.
9 -
Have Pocket app.
Save awesome article/site to Pocket.
Swear to read it later.
Open pocket app after a while.
Shit so much saved.
Can't read all of this no time.
Thus begins the infinite loop.4 -
Programming
Easier today than in 2009?
We're got all these tools and shit.. frameworks...
Yeah, which just makes you over ambitious, as the weekend project turns into 6 months despite itself.
I say no.5 -
Designer: 'Help! The parallax website I designed is running really slowly. Fix it! Fix it! Fix it!'
Me (In my head): 'Yeah, no shit. Can't think why...' -
Third (or fourth) AI winter coming in despite global warming. Cold war level shit cyber warfare.
C/C++ not dead, Java zombie still in the businesses.
Still no usable IDE (on Linux)5 -
Seems no matter how much I earn I'm always fucked for money. Guess I'm shit financially, even though I live in the worst area in the worst flat5
-
Today is nice... Since the rest of my team is in another country and they're off.
I'm in but I can actually take my time and get shit done at my own pace.
No distractions, no needing to explain things for the Nth time....3 -
Why do people use fucking IE/Edge, that makes Styling so fucking complicated, half of the things are not fucking supported, and these fucking clients want support for those damn fucking piece of shit browsers.
I just want to blow up every fucking computer which still has no other browser Except those pieces of shit.2 -
i might not have ssh access to live instances but i can redirect live traffic to test instances and debug my shit there!
... no but i really do that2 -
Do a simple fucking thing ... Hoo no that cross origin shit protection XD i know the utility of this protection but in dev damm just shut the fuck up and work
-
Holy fucking shit I hate using bitbucket, that utter piece of crap. It is so fucking slow to use. Coming from Github, I really hate the pull requests page, with no fucking syntax highlighting or anything.5
-
Just tried to Setup my elementary os on my Home pc..
The Shit wont work!! Damn!
No WiFi connection! I tried everything.. i think there is a Problem with my Driver.. I was so desperated that i created a Mobile Hotspot, it worked, I run apt get Update and Upgrade , this Shit used over 100mb of my Internet volume.. then i tried the Shit again ... Connect to my WiFi at Home... And it... Doesn't work... Shit!18 -
Orchid runs!
It's very far from done, but now I'm motivated to get shit done! My optimizations can now have measurable impact! The hypothetical examples no longer have to be hypothetical!!!
10 -
What the fuck is a "pre test"? And why the fuck do you call it if there are no other tests after it? Get your shit together pm!!!!
-
Facebook messenger app be like:
"Something went wrong, please try again"
No shit,when you r trying too make another snapchat app...1 -
react is garbage because javascript is garbage
like trying to draw straight lines but there's no straight edges to work with
fuck hooks , im too salty and stupid to learn this shit1 -
Former coworker, inspiring that he still gave a shit when I had no shits left to give. Also, a comp sci teacher taught me there is no problem that can't be boiled down to small simple problems, that could be explained to a 5 year old. If someone says otherwise, they're either full of shit or they're trying to fill you with shit.4
-
In a class right now. The rants are more interesting than what the professor is teaching!
How our professors teach:
Step 1: Open up a PDF of the subject book.
Step 2: Read everything line-by-line.
Step 3: "Refer the internet".
Yeah, because I don't have the book to read the shit you're teaching.1 -
Show me how you made an http server with an arduino nano and an esp8266 via AT commands from the arduino, the arduino handling the clients.
No you didn't, this shit is fucking impossible.4 -
Working on a feature on my pair partner's machine with a completely different hotkey layout = instant disorientation and usually a persistent stream of "shit!", "no!", and "wtf why do you use this layout??"
-
I would give myself so much shit for this.
Sales cloud architect, if I needed the money.
I give sales so much shit, like you've got no idea how much shit. I almost lost my job because I called the sales team at my job "soulless husks of meat and sin".
It's not an easy job but damn I was really fucking good at it.
If money was no problem, I would probably become a restoration artist.
I love to restore old homes, furniture, tvs, radios, etc. -
What the fuck is going on with elementary OS 0.4 Loki?!
Its the worst performing OS I have ever used:
* login ==> just shows desktop wallpaper, no icons, no dock, no keyboard inputs, no shit!
* installs updates in background ==> ne keyboard inputs, no reaction at all
Wtf did you guys do, when changing to unbuntu?!8 -
npm you dank pile of shit!
After updating npm I get "Maximum call stack size exceeded" when I use npm install --no-bin-links as usual.
After searching a solution for this shit it seams like the npm devs fucked around with the --no-bin-links option, since this nasty error message vanishes if one downgrade npm.
These goddamn assholes.
Keep your filthy fingers off this option, since it is essentially for windows devs!11 -
I blame developers for Windows epidemic. If no one develop for windows, there will be no software for that shit, and there for, there will be no user for that shit.11
-
When co-workers act like you have no work to do. So they try to give you more stuff.
Fuck. This. Shit.1 -
Shit... watched too many videos about AI. Now I'm convinced human coding will be obsolete in the near future...
Hello code block, long time no see...1 -
FUCK. I'M DONE WITH THIS SHIT. CAN'T GET MY HEAD AROUND THIS.
My intelligence is limited to Java & Python.
NO VARIABLES, RETURN TYPES..NOTHING! JUST FUCKING MAGIC! AND ALSO, FUCK EMACS.
2 -
Why tf is there no option for opening new windows as a modal dialog in asp.net from code behind. Tired of that shit.2
-
Shitty legacy codebase made by shovelling pile of different shit by some 'cool dude' who left the company 3 years ago. Fixing bugs on this pile of shit all the time, but also I have to document everything as documentation wasn't there at all and fix the whole damn project in the meantime. No linters, no types, ancient libraries that have shitton of issues, hacky behaviours wherever you look, no tests whatsoever.
Except when we want to refactor/rewrite we don't get time for fixing the whole shit as it is worthless - there's no value for customers in that.
the other one was shitty HR talk which consisted of bashing on my technical competencies by computer illiterate troglodyte after which I left the company. They asked me could I stay for 2 more months.
That was that one single NO that felt so great that I will remember it for the rest of my life. -
Thats so bad. Since about One week our Internet is broken. We don't have access anymore. You feel useless, because you can't do anything. No Phone (because its also with the Router) , No Internet, No real programming. You can't Look something Up, you can't Log into your Server, Database and so on.
And the shittest Thing about that is that the #Telekom is sorry to say that but absolutely Shit. We have made an appointement on friday. They should come to fix the issue. We have waited the whole day. He didn't came.. Now He wants to come again tomorrow...
I hope everything is right then and We have Internet again.. thats uncool.1 -
Wondered what that checkmark on a youtube channel means. Googled it. The summarized official answer:
3 -
Do you think you have to go to school for that? No no no. Some definition from a book won't help you, nor a person who haven't seen the real code for some time.
Sit and write. Anything! Still nothing? Printf("Hello World"); make conditions, think big, break the shit out of it and you'll learn along the way.
And do backups of git on remote. Two at least! -
Nothing to do. No fucking work here and im not hired for BE. Fucking BE doesn't do shit and im here like ZzZzZz. New job interview next thursday. Screw this shit!2
-
typescript is shit.
I have never seen such a stupid bug in other languages.
https://stackblitz.com/edit/...
Apparently, there is no way to do type narrowing in a nested object without using enum12 -
No Problem Android Studio, just get completly fucked up. It's not like if i would need to finish this course before thursday, no i definitly have time for this shit.
1 -
You get my best work with snarky, asshole broseph, or you get whatever I can shit out with medicated, socially-acceptable broseph. I could probably give them a better choice, but I have no interest in trying. My absence is their loss. I'm no Steve Jobs. I'm mediocre as fuck, but I'm willing to learn new things and I dive into that shit as hardcore as I can... I don't fucking know anymore.. 😔 It'll probably be better when I sober up I guess
-
So ik this is some super basic shit but for the life of me I have no idea what it's trying to tell me is wrong..
3 -
The sad moment of your life when the doctors leave u no choice but to put glases on if u have to work in front of a screen all day🙁 ( i hate this shit )9
-
Windows 10 you piece of shit, no sound again in my headphones, tried everything, reinstalling drivers, headphones work perfectly in other devices or through my docking station4
-
literally the last fucking thing i need to work for my mvp is ffmpeg to fucking work. i literally need to add audio at various start times in the video, sounds so easy right? too bad its a complex, cryptic, and horrible peice of shit.
no wonder stackoverflow is full of ffmpeg garbage
imaging writing a novel to run some audio / image editing commands, jesus christ
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
still at it 3 hours later, this should NOT be that hard ITS ALMOST FUCKING MIDNIGHT NOW YOU DUMB FUCKS FUYCK YOU FOR BUILDING THE MOST CONVOLUTED FUCKING SHIT EVER GOD I. AM. SO. SICK. OF. SHIT. LIBRARIES. WITH. SHIT. DOCS. SHIT. USERS. AND BULLSHIT. NO. FUCKING. SENSE. APIS.2 -
I had network problems.. and you know.. no shit.. the problem solve thing which might actually be just a for loop solved it.2
-
Firefox if you want to be the best shit, better fix/ implement most of newer ECMA standards(well a decade old actually), otherwise I have no choice but to use the spyware shit called Google Chrome.1
-
- So no one gives a shit that i have a cs degree
- No one gives a shit that i have the knowledge and skills THEY require
- Now the new bar is to work at least several years as a slave so i can get hired
The only reason i got rejected is because i havent worked in a company for 3+ years...?
6 -
When the client decides that we wants to change the production server and does it, and the DB params are still the old ones, and no one can work, and shit happens...1
-
Have a big shit with java update on a Debian. Some updates are in bloqued state, apt-get upgrade, no error, no dependence error, but java won't update. Same result with the GUI package manager. Googled but no way to go. Any idea? Thx!3
-
Holy shit font rendering is a pain in the ass..
Why are there no proper guides for harfbuzz and pango out there? -
I love you sooo much Microsoft! Your goddamn Office download page won't stop re-loading. For fucks sake, get your shit together.
Someone messed with something they shouldn't, but I have no idea what it could be.
And no, I'll not try open it on IE.
3 -
Currently witnessing Conway's Law in person. No shit our sprint fails when task description are just changing suggestions, designs are poor and no one questions decisions, no debate or conversations about implementations. I think it's time for me to jump ship because bringing up this concern has only brought hatred towards me from the team.
-
var self = this;
if (args != null) args = Array.from(args);
return function(){
return self.apply(bind, args || arguments);
};
no wonder nobody likes js. this is not js. this is shit.5 -
Java module system is broken beyond repair. I don't understand how they could come up with this piece of shit ... I have no words ...3
-
Seems like there's no perfect balance at work, good at what you're doing? Take that promotion, also now you handle this and that!
Mediocre little shit? uhhh we won't promote him/her but whatever they do something at least.
Man I love my job and my company but fucking hell it seems like people never stop demanding shit from you and when you tell them no they judge you and call you names, like seriously wtf? is there no fucking thing called balance?4 -
Sometimes non-dev people give the look like they could do the same shit in half the time and you purposefully made the UI ugly (UI wasn't provided and I m no designer).. can anybody suggest some polite ways to tell them to FUCK OFF!!2
-
My teacher was shit, no experience, no knowledge, no nothing... Although I stil maintain that self taught is a valid method
-
Just closed VSCode running gulp, expecting it would terminate the session as well... it didn't.
Now I have no freaking idea how to shut the PowerShell running that shit.2 -
Almost every I code with close friends (all seniors) or my brother (also senior).
It's crazy what we can accomplish when there is no implicit and no one want to take shortcuts.
And mostly on personal projects, no client to shit all over the place.
With m'y brother we also often code at 4 hands in repl.it -
When you're a week behind in school because shit broke in production every night this week 🥲 I wish I could lucid dream so I could have some sweet relief by having superpowers or some shit.
But no, instead I get to be Mr. Fix-it lmao -
Becoming a real piece of shit.
When a friend who has no responsibilities and no costs gets a higher paid dev job than I've ever wanted, in an area with a lower CoL.
A normal decent human being would be happy for his friend. I however am not. Guess I deserve what happens1 -
Been meaning to start a podcast that’s just based around talking shit about is there to talk about on that day I just have no idea how you attract an audience to a startup podcast2
-
Its normal if i drop some eyedrop at my new job ? My boss don't know anything of is network ... Cannot help me with noting no code no net... All the code is done already is a deep shit full of breach im fucking solo in a room face a brick wall no window ! Can i stay for 10 month at this place ?
Need to coding but have no cluse how to connect to a fucking database no user no password ...
Its the fucking hell here 👿😢3 -
Iwd. IWD. iNetWirelessDaemon. Where have you been? No lag at all. Fast. No dependencies. Lightweight. No layers of abstractions...
Since I switched to Arch on my my computer (4 years ago!), I've had to deal with NetworkManager. What a piece of shit. Don't get me started about wpa_supplicant, the piece of software that did the real lifting.
Thanks, Intel! -
Do you know Rufus? Do you know any good linux one-click-fully-customizable-no-shit alternative? Guys, we need to create Lufus.10
-
So fucking today i wanted to test netbeans ide..installed, no problem..then i wanted to compile code an it said fucking error ,netbean connector and google chrome? Wtf do i need this shit ?!4
-
Linked in job search had to be one of three most poorly with ui I've used, everything i apply for a job i get a pop-up that blocks the submit button saying make sure your resume is updated, no fucking shit quit bothering me like a nagging feminist
Fuck their shit platform1 -
Anyone who tells you there is no time constraint is on drugs. There's no such thing. At best, there are just secret deadlines that crop up as you're getting close. It's just a fucking con to get you to build unimportant shit, and work your ass off to meet some artificial deadline at the end.
-
Embedded programmer here, recently my job is nothing but android, web shit and webservices (no offense). i guess it's time to find a new job.
-
Don't have a manger/boss/mentor. Please give me an advice (coding/best practices, no 'life is to be lived' shit) which will help me in the long run.. Thank you..4
-
task: building classes for "yes, everything done and tested, okay"-API-Request1
result: the undocumented shit is broken, what a surprise.
alt.task: classes for request2
result: there is no controller named "ABC"
-.-*** -
Alright sure this quarintine time would go with no issues... Right?
*Opens google.com*
*Waits 30 seconds*
*Page loads without the logo*
*Searches about a problem I have*
*Wait another 60 seconds*
*Page loads with no results*
*Waits another 40 seconds*
*Now there are links*
*Clicks on the first link*
*ERR_TIMEOUT*
Yep.... Fun shit.3 -
Wow shit, you are a colleague of the client and you are talking so informal to me, no freaking manners, besides I'm just starting out with my career and it looks like he is about to retire! Just GO allready and leave the technical stuff to people how can do that shit!!3
-
Scrum poker, what a fucking joke that shit is. When did even a piss take 0.5 story points in this racket. ”It’s a no brainer, should take no more than 20min”. Who are you lying to? You KNOW that every time you open that IDE, the second you build and the moment you merge that putrid sewage, you’re gonna get fucked one way or another and cleaning up that shit is gonna take your cum poker assessment x 4.
-
Thanks sefuckalize-mock for not letting me insert 2 row,
Now Im replicating the whole sequelize module itself to stub shit for no reason idk fuck this why am I doing this for stupid unit testing -
Fuck its le craxy bean man monster fuck dude shit fuck my pants i mean pls no but go away bwan man monster bubbbbbbs dsmdlkdbs :'(((((((((-(((-(-(-(-(-?-?-?
peace *@* -
everything is shit and getting worse. everyone is retarded and getting worse. (including me of course)
no reason to be trying.
peace in my soul.
finally.3
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