Aww Adobe😝

OMFG! LMAO! Adobe!

so i just got fired 🔥 🔥 🔥 because i wanted a 200 fucking dollars raise after 1 year of work and sacrifices and feeling like shit.
200$ because i live in the 3rd fucking world, working with a stupid motherfucking boss (you know the fat old tone deaf cunt), he's american, and he brings projects from the US from clients paying thousands of dollars, and he pays us 300$, and by the fucking way he used to pay us 100$ (we are 3 developers, a dick who does nothing but report our behavior, and a shit who does shit. we are a development company and we are the only developers and we got fired because he thought we didn't deserve the raise and that he sees no reason in giving us more money because we're already wasting the company's money and time).
So now the only people left there are the dick, the shit and the fatass boss who's in the states rn.
the funny thing is after we left by an hour or so we got calls from many other companies that we refused to work with because of our loyal-fucking-ty.
the motherfucker thinks we're conspiring against him, that we don't trust him, well of fucking course we don't, he lies about having a company in the US, well it's there but it's suspended (we looked it up), he says he's a microsoft, intel, adobe, dell, lenovo partner, and he's not.
well fuck i'm kind of happy that i left, i'm sitting with my friends in a cafe right now thinking about finishing our personal projects.
forgot something: the projects we were working on are unfinished, and there's not a single fucker to finish them, so he's ball deep in shit. hope this rant is relatable

BOSS: That icon is not centered, move it slightly to the right
ME: You're wrong, I can garantee you it's centered (it was centered)
BOSS: Well, my eyes are telling me it's not, so move it to the right
ME: (faking increasing margin)
ME: Ok, now it's 10 px to the right, what do you think?
BOSS: it's a great result, now it's perfect! Cant you see the difference?
ME: Absolutely, you do are the real designer here...
BOSS: Ohhh, stop complaining, you'll learn one day...
ME: Yep.

Our Adobe Illustrator teacher(he taught us a bit of Photoshop before), tasked us with entering a contest for a logo design. The company's name is synonymous to amber in my mother tongue, but instead of it doing something related to that they partnered with T.V. services etc and are doing things in the field. The limitation of the contest is that we have to use a specific color in the amber range(given with the CMYK and Pantone values), and if the design ends up a success, one gets nearly 500$.

I have an idea, but I don't know how I will be going about doing it. I'm not great at either design or drawing. My skills in drawing don't match up with my ideas...

I'll still try it.

Github education: You get a bunch of cool free stuff if you are a student.

Intellij: You get all of their IDEs for free if you are a student.

Adobe: You get a discount but you still have to pay 20€ per month as a student.

This is why I love programming and the whole community around it.

Woooooooo!

Try to open a new PDF. Adobe says it must restart. I click OK, figuring it just needs to restart the reader itself.

Reboots entire computer instead... For a PDF reader update...

Uninstall time!

My experience with Adobe...
(I recently moved to Canada)

Me: I want to give you money. (Tries to pay with Canadian card)

Adobe: Sorry, you have a US account, you must use a US card.

Me: Okay, what are my options to pay with my Canadian card?

Adobe: We have to delete your US account and create a Canadian one.

Me: Okay... Why can't you just switch the country from US to Canada on my account?

Adobe: *bullcrap response*

Me: Okay, delete it and transfer everything.

*Kicks me out of the chat.
*I log back in. Try to reconnect to customer service chat.

Adobe: AdobeID unable to participate in chat.

*I'm 30 minutes into this ordeal

Me: (to myself) I could literally torrent this program in 5 minutes 🤔

Lesson: if a company wants people to not torrent their software make it easier for a willing fucking customer to buy your software!

Since the chat doesn't work anymore, I called customer service and am still on hold.... 😤😤😤

Why does the internet have borders?

Whenever I see websites using flash

Dude comes for an interview for a mobile position - one of the first things he says is "Adobe is killing Flash, don't know why, big mistake."

How to secure yourself from flash 0-day attacks:

1. Uninstall flash
2. Don't reinstall flash
3. Seriously, you don't need flash

Many, many years ago, Apple had this software you could install which allowed you to take full control of someone else's machine. Well, my mate who was a designer worked in a different office downstairs. I was often in their fixing stupid shit problems. While he was out on lunch, i installed and configured the software on his mac. After lunch I went back upstairs and watched his every move on my mac. He was in adobe inDesign creating some design for a brochure. He was in a text box changing the heading, i seized the opportunity and took control typing in the text box "i am a useless cunt", pissing myself, I then selected the text and increased the size and made it bold... then the phone rang.

Regular day at Adobe:

Intern: Sir, I have created this amazing functionality that will make user's life easy. Shall I push it for review?

Manager: Did you say it will make their life easy?

Intern: Yes Sir!

Manager: Can we fire this intern already?

Adobe, seriously man make up your goddamn mind. Why the fuck are you taking away useful features and making them hidden under hundreds of icons you have. This is so fraustrating 😡

Modern web developer Stater pack
1.Mac with 100 stickers on it
2.Love linux but never used it
3.Border 0px
4.Border radius 2.7px
5.sketch+adobe

I think adobe really wants to update

Colorful or black & white? 💻👩🏽‍💻👨🏼‍💻😝

Thanks Adobe for the such clear icons, I really appreciate your use of descriptive symbols (one is for "view full page", the other is for "activate single page view").

199$ for game maker studio
Naaa i will just use godot thx

1000$ for 3dx max
Naa will just use blender 3d

899$ for Fl studio
We have lmms

Sublime text 70$
Vscode is better.. i will just use that

Adobe illustrator 19$ a month
Nice try we have Gravit Designer

Sister comes into my room

"Can you look at moms laptop, it stopped working I'm scared I broke it"

Ask why

"Idk it just stopped working, all I did was install adobe flash player I dont think that could do it could it?"

Top kek

Take a look

"EFI IPV4 0 (error code) failed to boot"

Weird. Enter bios

"Hard drive: [Not detected]"

Well, that's no bueno

Pop open back, hard drive is loose

Pfft, push that fucker back in

Boot -> works

"Mom is going to kill me I broke it im so worried" -> relieved laughter

Adobeflashplayerkilledmyharddrive.jpg

Shook.exe

What is AI?
CS student: Artificial intelligence
Graphics Designer: Adobe Illustrator
Biology student: Anthro Insertion
Pervert: Anal Intercourse

Lesson: be careful with your abbreviations

So lucky to have a date again tonight..

it's an Adobe Up-date.

.__.)'

Protip: Never admit that you know how to use Photoshop and Illustrator. Guess who's drawing all the brainfarts of the PM this week...

Actually just happened!!1!

I got a spam email from Adobe. I tried to unsubscribe from all their lists. When I clicked submit it went to a 404. Good job, Adobe

Adobe Reader everywhere

Have any of you guys picked up Google Ultron yet?

"You can't run Slack, Premiere, After Effects AND Photoshop at the same time with only 8 GB RAM!"
Me:

For fuck's sake Adobe, just do the damn Photoshop version for linux.

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Hi this isnt actually a rant this is the girlfriend speaking (or typing hihi) i just wanna say how interesting this platform is. Bye 😊👋🏼

Adobe Crash Report crashed… nice

The best part of being an university student?

- Microsoft Imagine
- Office 365 for free
- GitHub Student Developer Pack
- JetBrains Product Pack for Students
- Spotify for only €4.99/month (instead of €9.99)
- Discounts for tech products

And if you're lucky also Adobe CC and AutoCAD.

The worst part?

- The university

Wish Adobe would take a similar approach like Microsoft and release their Applications for Linux.. so I could use Photoshop and Lightroom there and ditch OS X completely...

When I opened my digital agency it was me and my wife as developers, I had no savings and I needed to get long contracts ASAP which luckily I did straight away.

Lovely client, had worked for them before as a consultant so i thought it would be a breeze. Let's just say the project should've been named "Naivete, Scope Creep and Anger: The revenge".

What happened is that when this project was poised to end I naively thought I would be able to close the job, so I started looking for a new full time consultancy gig and found one where I could work from home, and agreed a starting date.

Well, the previous job didn't end because of flaws in my contract the client exploited, leaving me locked in and working full time, for free, for basically as long as he wanted (I learned a lot the hard way at that time) and I had already started the new agreed job. This meant I was now working 2 full time shifts, 16 hours per day.

Then, two support contracts of 2 hours per day were activated, bringing my work load to 20 hours/day.

I did this for 4 months.

The first job was supposed to last one month, and I was locked into it, all others had no end in sight which is a good thing as a freelancer, but not when you are locked into a full time one already. I could've easily done one 8 hours shift and two 2 hours jobs per day, but adding another 8 hours on top of it was insanity.

So I was working 10 hours, and sleeping 2. I had no weekends, didn't know if it was day or night anymore, I was locked in my room, coding like a mad man, making the best out of a terrible situation, but I was mentally destroyed.

I was waking up at 10am, working until 8pm, sleeping 2 hours until 10pm, working until 8am, sleeping 2 hours until 10am, and so on. Kudos to my wife for dealing with account and project management and administration responsibilities while also helping me with small pieces of code along the way, couldn't have survived without the massive amount of understanding she offered.

In the end:

- I forcefully closed the messed up contract job and sent all the work done to another digital agency I met along the way, very competent people, as I still cared about the project.

- I missed a deadline on my other full time contract by 2 days, meaning they missed a presentation for Adobe, of all people, and I lost the job

- The other two support contracts were finished successfully, but as my replies were taking too long they decided not to work with us anymore.

So I lost 4 important clients in the span of 4 months. After that I took a break of one month, slept my troubles away, and looked for a single consultancy full time contract, finding it soon after, and decided I wouldn't have my own clients for a good while.

3 years since then, I still don't have the willpower or the resources to deal with clients of my own and I'm happily trudging along as a consultant, while still having middle of the night nightmare flashbacks to that time.

Adobe BR stands for Adobe Battle Royale

How would you get your "Cash prize" if you reported anonymously ...

Well, this is pleasant surprise.

Hi from Adobe!

Hi xxxxx, I hope all is well in your world! I wanted to reach out and introduce myself from the Adobe Recruiting team. I noticed that you’re doing some great work as a Full Stack Web Developer / Magento Developer at xxxxx. I'd love to hear about what you're working on, what interests you, and what you're hoping for the future. Based on what I can see from your work, you’d be a great match for our Backend Magento developer role here at Adobe in our Austin, Los Angeles or Bay area location.

Is flattering.

It's a shame that Adobe doesn't support Linux for their creative suit. I know lots of artists and designers that don't use Linux regularly because of this, since Photoshop and illustrator are the de facto tools for their work. Adobe xd seems to be awesome, but I can't use on my pc due the lack of support -.-

So that happened. Don't want to be the responsible for leaking my company's private key.

I only crack programs when someone makes it unnecessarily complicated to pay for it.

Requires windows 10 anniversary or later... So let use photo's that show it installing on vista...

Well done Adobe.

my company just paid adobe to use pirated copy of adobe software ,arrested one emp.

Multinational company -_-
listed company -_-
premium product -_-

why the hell they can't pay money to deserve one?

writing this rant on pirated windows.

A person just bought a 3000€ workstation and asked me to install cracked versions of Office, AutoCAD, full Adobe suite and Rhino with plugins. And he's going to use them at work to make money.

So, since I have to, I installed 2-3 years old versions of each, in English (he only knows Italian) and blocked all the connections so he can't receive any update/fix or use web related functionalities. I also disabled all autostarting components and contextual menu / OS integrations (although this can be seen as a plus).

When he's calling me asking to "fix" things, I will simply say "sorry, it's the only way for the crack to work, if you want everything you'd better pay for a license or else go open source".

Why can't people understand the value of the complex software they use? Just because it's not a material thing doesn't mean it's not a steal

Can you hack facebook?! (been asked this by classmates in CS class, multiple times by different people)

(Needs to quickly research something)
A = me
A: Can I borrow someones internet (hotspot)
B: Yeah sure, but it's only for facebook
A: -_- *sigh*

Can you pirate Windows/Word/Adobe thing for me? (asked gazilions of times even by family members, fuck off! Will you?)

A = me
B = my grandpa
*TV looses signal because fucking blizard outside*
B: A! Stop fucking with my TV, come and fix this!
A: What's the problem?
B: I can't find *some channel*.
A: B, there's a blizzard outside.
B: No it was you fucking with it.
A: *sigh* (proceeds to fix his crap, oh wait I can't) It's gonna be fixed tomorrow.
(I didn't even look at the TV more than 2 minutes monthly)
Guess what, it fucking works again.

Here's a different scenario:
B still can't access the channel because he's been fucking with the settings, again.
B: A! Come here, right now.
A: What is it this time!
B: You broke it, now fix it.
A: *silent uuuuggghhhhh*
B: Now!
A: *does a channel scan* *waits 30 minutes waiting for it* Done!
B: Don't fuck with my stuff ever again!
....so this is the kind of people I have to tolerate, every single day.

A = my dad (who knows a bit but not too much, you'll see, buisness guy 9000, does paperwork every day)
B = me or my brother

A: *comes raging at A's door, looks like he's gonna ground A* STOP PUTTING FUCKING GAMES ON THE FAMILY COMPUTER!
B: Why do you have a problem with games?
A: Cause I need to do *some important shit, probably that needs a basic spreadsheet software*
B: Can't you do it on the mac?
A: It doesn't have Word©®™!
B: But it does Libreoffice, right?
A: I can't. *he can, he's just being lazy with learning new stuff*
B: Can't you use my laptop?
A: It's Linux.
(fuck)
B: Can't you use my brothers laptop?
A: It's filled with games.
(he hates games with a burning fucking passion)
B: Fine, let me take a look at the computer.
(A uninstalled crap that took me multiple hours to install, but not only that he deleted some of my work)
B: *silent what the shit?!*
A: WHAT WAS THAT?!
B: nothing, phew.
(A also installed shadyware that some random coworker suggested him from a random ass ad, meanwhile I keep the PC's pure with known stable software (which are gone btw))
B: *Spends the whole day removing the fucking disgust that one program fucking caused (sometimes even the fucking registry, eww)*
A: I had to wait all day for this shit. Don't fuck with my the PC ever again!!!

Fucking hell am I just unlucky or what?

Sometimes I think back to all the funny shit that happened and how simple stuff fucks everyone

- tired Database engineer deleting (not dropping, literally rm -rf) the database files on the wrong server

- Microsoft delivering viruses through updates

- Pissed and stubborn dev deleting his one line library repo which does something like removing a char left side of string fucking an unmeasurable amount of other projects

- Adobe getting hacked and exposed for storing passwords in plain texts

- a doubled line causing a bug called heartbleed in a fuckton of webservers

- a Tutorial Company getting kicked from github because their repo got so big github staff had to maintain the repo manually

- and an old one: bad code crashed a space shuttle

Fuck you Adobe.

It doesn’t get said enough.

My Google Chrome Browser is using more RAM then Adobe Photoshop while it's rendering a photo.

This is why I never do design...

I can get absolutely dead pissed by the fact that a FUCKING 1800 euro laptop can't do a fucking basic thing like connecting to a bloody WiFi ap?

so why, you wonder? oh no, the problem isn't the fucking hardware. IT'S THIS DEAD BEAT PIECE OF SHIT CALLED WINDOWS. mfw when it runs fine under Linux, BUT WE CANT HAVE NICE THINGS CAN WE ADOBE?!?

"To use the clock you need Adobe Flash"

Really 1&1? You really need flash to show a fucking clock? Its not that hard to do this in javascript, or? Even if it is an analog clock :D There is even a tutorial of the "quality content page" w3schools about implementing this in javascript ... just whyyyyyyy? it 2018, not 2004.

(1&1 is an german ISP. This message occured in their webmailer using it without flash.)

My personal android app project started at android 1.5 and actually went to google play when android 4.2 was launched... With the look and feel of android 1.5...

Prior to that I spent about 2 years trying to make an Adobe Air app out of it.

I feel proud of my perseverance.

I always liked doing interesting things with adobe tools, but today I've found a video from 2013, where I am 14. I have no idea how I did it.

Adobe will end-of-life Flash by 2020, and all big Browsers are joining this by disabling Flash features slowly

Let's make a petition to end-of-life Electron, it is basically Flash for Desktops and it is A RESOURCE-HUNGRY LAZINESS-PROMOTING PIECE OF SHIT THAT SHOULD IMMEDIATELY BE REMOVED FROM THIS VERY PLAnet.. what do you think about that particular idea?

#StopElectron2017smhOkayAtLeastBy2020Please

i also started learning adobe illustrator a few weeks ago :D

Here’s my MBP filled with stickers. Thank you for the stickers @dfox!

Just clean installed windows few days ago and my laptop is already mess again. Anyone else with same problem? 😂 I Suck at managing stuffs.

Dfox work at Adobe??

Adobe XD will kill Sketch in future LOL

Adobe flash, why are you not dead yet. Fucking death trap

FRIENDLY REMINDER: Fucking save your goddamn work. Thanks.

- Your friendly neighborhood dumbass who just lost 14 hours of his life because his computer crashed.

P.S. Normally not a problem when working on code because I'm forced to save and commit with Git. Unfortunately I was balls deep in Adobe motherfucking illustrator working on wireframes, and didn't have doc recovery turned on.

Half the Internet will die in 2020.

FFS Adobe fix your payment shit, it is fucking stupid

When I need to install Adobe flash player

So Adobe is actually not a random name

Next task list of an Adobe developer:

1. Fuck something up so that the user has to google for the simplest possible functionality.

when did this happen?

The manager and selfperceived omnipotent cult leader was the worst kind of businessman. Slimey and trecherous, zero sense of ethics, but felt holier than the pope because he "helped" his weakling herd of piteous employees.

These employees were smart kids, most of them in their late teens. All of them legally disabled. There was this kid who gobbled up ritalin like candy, a boy who had received his measles shots and turned socially awkward (/s), a chubby girl who could name all the hex colors of her chocolate stained shirt... you know, what we call skilled developers in the industry.

Fiftyfive of them.

They were awesome, awkward highschool dropouts, like I had been a decade earlier. They worked 50h a week. They had great humor, were passionate, devoured information about new technologies, and they built custom websites from scratch in no time. I had to lead this flock, and felt honored to work with them.

Then things started to smell funny.

I discovered all 55 of their workstations ran pirated software, from Windows to Adobe CS. I'm not without sin in that regard, but as a company it's just plain stupid.

Clients were treated like shit. I mean, we all feel like punching a client in the face sometimes, but I'm taking about unjustified debt collections paired with death threats.

Then I found out these kids were often disappearing for a few months, only to return months later.

I started digging, and discovered they were all working reintegration internships (because they were on below minimum wage disability payments), at almost zero cost to my employer.

After 6 months, my boss gave them a negative recommendation, they were all too "sick" to function in normal jobs.

Then they were rotated to a shadow company, doing the same work for another 6 months, and so on to a third company.

He broke these kids, talked them down, made them feel worthless. He threatened the ones who understood what was happening.

I ended up bringing the company down, with the CEO and two government officials jailed for fraud and corruption.

Some employees were quite mad about it, at least at first — I was the shepherd who abandoned his sheep. Luckily, most found better paid positions in no time.

Truly one of the most fucked up and difficult situations I've been in.

After spending around 8+ hours on an Adobe After Effects project (which I obviously didn't save), at around 12 at night, it crashed.

I lost everything. Was heartbroken. Died inside. Nearly cried. Then I restarted the app and started from scratch.

The weird thing is I recreated the entire thing in around 1.5 hours. Not sure if I'm happy or sad with myself.

*Me for taking IDM and Adobe services*

!Rant

Designer decide to have a meeting with stakeholders about UX/UI workflow for control panel of our new embedded system (no framework, no library, gui is bit per bit rendered on frame buffer).
A week later, still nothing on my table, not a mail, not a call. Meanwhile I wrote a framework, the control system, renderer, and messaging queues between tasks.
Wrote some widgets, a layout system and a view swtching mechanism, and a separate stack control to use a "back" button.

Now I am stuck for I do not know what should happen when clicking on various (non obvious) items on the touchscreen.
Fine, I'll ask the designer.

"Oh, I will write the workflow next week" (ETA time, 2 weeks. Seriously? You take a week to draw on Adobe Illustrator 20 screenshot with text and I have another week to write it from scratch in C?)
Ok, while you write it, just tell me what should happen when I click an active item.
"Well, we didn't talk about that. We just decided the colour of the icons on the screen..."
For fuck sake...

I once found a MongoDB cluster open to the internet with no authentication with nearly a terabyte of data that backed a CRM service whose customers included Microsoft and Adobe to name a few.

Flash has made Java programs look desirable. And anyone keeping up with me knows I despise Java and C#, despite having written C# and currently working on deciphering a Java server to create documentation.

Before I begin, I want to make this clear: IT IS TWO THOUSAND AND FUCKING EIGHTEEN. 2018. WE HAVE BETTER TECH. JAVASCRIPT HAS TAKEN OVER THIS BITCH. So, firstly, FUCK FLASH. Seriously, that shit's a security liability. If you work for a company that uses it, find a new job and then fucking quit, or go mutany and get several devs to begin a JS-based implementation that has the same functionality. There is no excuse. "I'm fired?" That's not an excuse - if there is a way to stop the madness, then fucking hit the brakes on that shit or begin job hunting. Oh, and all you PMs who are reading this and have mandated or helped someone else to mandate work on an enterprise flash program, FUCK YOU. You are part of the problem.

The reason for this outburst seems unreasonable until you realize the hell I went through today. At my University, there is a basic entry-level psychology course I'm taking. Pearson, a company I already fucking hate for some of the ethically sketchy shit they pulled with PARCC as well as overreach in publishing to the point they produce state tests here in the US - has a product called "My PsychLab" and from here on out, I'm referring to it as MPL. MPL has an issue - it is entirely fucking Flash. Homework assignments, the textbook, FUCKING EVERYTHING. So, because of that, you need to waste time finding a browser that works. Now let me remind all of you that just because something SHOULD WORK does NOT mean that it actually does.

I'm sitting on my Antergos box a few days ago: Chromium and Firefox won't load Flash. I don't know why, and don't care to find out. NPAPI and whatnot are deprecated but should still run in a limited mode or some shit. No go on Antergos.

So, today I went to the lab in the desolated basement of an old building which is where it's usually empty except a student hired by the university to make sure nobody fucks things up. I decided - because y'all know I fuckin' hate this - to try Windows. No go in Chrome still - it loaded Flash but couldn't download the content. So I tried Firefox - which worked. My hopes were up, but not too long - because there was no way to input. The window had buttons and shit - but they were COMPLETELY UNRESPONSIVE.

So the homework is also Flash-based. It's all due by 1/31/18 - FOUR CHAPTERS AND THE ACCOMPANYING HOMEWORK - which I believe is Tuesday, and the University bookstore is closed both Saturday and Sunday. No way to get a physical copy of the book. And I have other classes - this isn't the only one.

Also, the copyright on the program was 2017 - so whoever modded or maintained that Flash code - FUCK YOU AND THE IRRESPONSIBLE SHIT YOUR TEAM PULLED. FUCK THE SUPERIORS MAKING DECISIONS AS WELL. Yeah, you guys have deadlines? So do the end users, and when you have to jump through hoops only to realize you're fucked? That's a failure of management and a failure of a product.

How many people are gonna hate me for this? Haters gonna hate, and I'm past the point of caring.

My college teaches us Macromedia Flash, in 2018. :|
That too on a cracked version.

If Adobe would just release their products on Linux I would literally have no reason to ever use Windows again...

When the design agency changes the whole fucking UI 1 week before release because they think the usability is not good enough.
FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING PLACENTA EATING LOBOTOMIZED ADOBE FRANKENSTEINS

Boss: We should use Adobe ColdFusion for our next project
Me: Why?
Boss: Because it's the only programming language that can generate PDF. In our next project we will be generating a lot of PDF receipts on daily basis
Me: Oh no!

hello, world!

Oh boy, Adobe. I really miss the good old Macromedia times.

I’m saving money to buy sketch, but guess what...

Adobe XD is free now 👌🏼

!rant
My first design work (in Adobe XD)

Design has never been my strong point (implementation or design) but am very interested in designing interfaces.

Don't hold your horses. Criticize this. I want to know what you think about this.

The Cloud Of Bullshit

Every day I wake, and I think of my one true mission in life. To mock and ridicule paint huffing idiots. Something recently that drew my ire, like the hemorrhoids on my ass is this idea of 'the cloud', THE CLOUD and the buzzword lingo-bingo bullshit that providers use to hype and sell it.

For example, airtable is an amazing service. I love that I can insert just about anything into a row, create any of my own row datatypes, that it's flexible as all hell.

I love it.

And I hate that I'm essentially locked in to the cloud.
I fucking hate how if my internet goes down (thanks you pie eating inbred dipshits at comcast) I have no access.
If the company is bought, they'll shut down like all the rest , to be "relaunched at a later time" (or never).
I hate that if the company doesn't make enough money, or it's investors change their mind, woopsie, service is shut down.
I hate that the cloud is synonymous with massive data leaks and IOT-levels of stupidity in security practices.

Every time someone says "but its in the cloud! Isn't it amazing!"

I always think 1. YEAH IF IM AN INVESTOR I GET TO MILK LOW BROW FINGER PAINTING FUCKWITS EVERY MONTH like Adobe sucking the blood from infants who are still in college.

2. Why? So I can get locked into their platform, have them segment off previously free features (fucking youtube and the 'subscribe so you can continue playing audio with your screen off' bullshit), and then have fees increase month over month?

3. Why, so every four years during the presidential selection, if I piss off some fuckstick braindead lemming literally sucking his girlfriends BFs cock, they can potentially shut me out from my own data completely?

The Cloud is built on shit-colored hype sold to knob gobbling idiots, controlling idiots, profiting at the expense of idiots, and later fucking them for buyout payola. The Cloud is a Cloud of Bullshit shat out by huckster messiahs straight into the lapping mouths of fanatics worshiping slavishly like toilet drinking scum at the porcelain alter of a neon god, invisible, untouchable, and like a spigot, easily shut off without anyone noticing. And when it happens, I'll be there, shouting "WHERE IS YOUR CLOUD NOW?"

Native any day. 100% native or I don't fucking want it
None of this node.js-gone-native bullshit either with notetaking apps taking up hundreds of megabytes of ram, where everything is bootstrap or react, in a browser, in a window container, because people are so fucking incompetent we have to hold their hand WHILE they give themselves a reach around.

Native or nothing.

For my favorite notetaking app, I use Microsoft OneNote. "OH god, a heathen, quick, stick his body up on a stake!"

But hear me out. I'll be the first one in a crowd to kick bill gates in the nuts (not because I particularly hate microsoft, just because I think hes kind of a cunt).

So when I say onenote is good, I really fucking mean it. Sure they did some cunty things like 'dumbed down' the interface, and cut out some options. But you know what they can't do?
Shut down the damn service (short of a system update completely removing the whole app, which, frankly, wouldn't surprise me).

It's so god damn good it waxed my balls, cured my cancer, fixed my relationship with my father, found my long lost brother, and replaced ALL my irl notebooks.

It's so good that if it was cocaine I'd be hospitalized for overusing it.

So god damn good it didn't just replace all my notebooks, it even replaced and sped up my mockup process three to five times. Want layers?

Built in. Just drag an image on to the notebook to import instantly.

Want to rearrange layers? Right click select "send forward/back/bring to front/send to back".

Everything snaps to grid by default and is easily resizeable.

I had all the elements for a UI sliced and diced. Wanted to try a bunch of layouts. Was gonna take me two damn days.

Did it in three hours with the notebook features of onenote.

After I started using onenote, me and my bodypillow finally conceived even.

Sweet marries mammaries I just fucking jizzed. Thank you onenote.

P.s. It really did speed up my UI design, allows annotated images, highlighted text. Shit, it can even do kanban.

And all I can think is "good job microsoft making an awesome product for free, being dumb as fuck for not charging for it, and then not marketing it at ALL."

It was sheer fucking luck that I discovered it while was I was looking for vendor STD bloatware to blast off my new install.

OneNote: Worth a try even for the kick-gates-in-the-nuts fan club.

The cloud can suck my balls.

Serious considering wiping the Windows 10 partition on my computer.

Only thing keeping me from doing it is the Adobe Suite. Damn it.

If only they made it for Linux, life would be such a blessing.

P.S. : GIMP is not a replacement.

! exactly dev

I'd ditched Windows and spent a while exploring the Linux ecosystem for content creation. And I have to say, it was not a nice experience.

As much as I respect the Linux mantra of "free as in freedom" and "you need to roll up your sleeves and figure out stuff on your own", it just isn't good enough for non-dev work. Sorry guys, but I need software that gets out of my way and at least does what it's supposed to do. I can't stand a horrible UI or delays and random crashes, which is exactly what happens with most things under Linux.

To replace my Windows workflow I used the following:
1. Windows -> elementaryOS (because Debian/Ubuntu repositories seem to have the best software support, and elementaryOS is the least horrible looking thing that supports that) and then Arch, because, well, Arch.
2. Blender + Maya -> Blender + Maya on Linux.
3. Reaper + FL Studio -> Ardour + LMMS.
4. Photoshop -> GIMP + Krita + Inkscape.
5. ZBrush -> nothing :(

As you can see, my use cases are pretty much all over the spectrum.

Firstly, installing and configuring stuff. A pleasure on Windows, an absolute pain on Linux. Everything just worked on Windows, I had to wrestle with library versions and patches and unstable audio layers (Linux audio just sucks, except for JACK) on Linux.

Out of these, Blender and Maya were the best experience. But even then, both would suffer from random crashes that just didn't happen on Windows.
Ardour is actually really nice when it works. Its use of JACK for routing makes it really really flexible, but it just isn't stable enough to depend on. LMMS is utter crap. I'm sorry, but I just hate the UI. Can't stand it.
GIMP, Krita, and Inkscape can't beat Photoshop, even when you consider them together. Adobe software workflow is just so much better and more intuitive.
Blender 3D sculpting is not bad, but it's nowhere as good as ZBrush.

Also, if you're a C++ dev like me, nothing beats Visual Studio 2017. Nothing. That IDE just blows everything else out of the water. Even VSCode. And it's not slow at all, it handled a fairly large project (PBRTv3) just fine on my Windows development VM. Yes, a VM.

So...I ditched Linux and went back to Windows, but I keep Linux as a VM for when I actually want to mess with Blender or Ardour. Or some dev stuff which Windows sucks at (which is becoming less frequent because of WSL).

Out of all the above, the only one I'd consider ready for production use would be Blender. Developers of open source software, please learn from Blender. Kickass UI and user friendly operation is extremely important, you can't make a random window with GTK buttons and text boxes and arcane config files and expect people to use it for serious work.

Also, Windows beats Linux hands down as an everyday OS. It's always been rock solid, if you take care of it properly (and that goes for any OS). Updates hardly take any time because I run it on a SSD. As for all the advertising and marketing bullshit, you can block a large amount of stuff. And for what can't be blocked, well, I just have to live with it, because the alternative is compromising on my creative output, which is too much for me.

I still run Linux on my server, though. And on my embedded devices (Pi, BeagleBone, etc.). It absolutely rocks there.

I realize that Linux software is not going to improve unless we do something about it, so I'll be contributing fixes and code (the joys of being a C++ dev, yay). Still, I feel that the platform and software as a whole is just not mature enough.

I just wanted to watch that video! who on EARTH still uses adobe flash player! seriously can anyone tell me?

Took me a few hours, but managed to finally run Adobe Photoshop CC 2018 on my old school Toshiba laptop running Arch Linux xD Still needs some work, but super happy I got it running :D

Ummmm.... Absolutely not you're an video editor why do you need my contact information?

Any job interview were I have included the three years of Adobe Flash development on my resume.

A few weeks ago a client came to us asking for edits on their site. They had a developer in their office but they fired him a few days prior. After some looking at the piece of garbage they called a website I told my supervisors that it was built in Adobe Muse and from what I could find in a few quick searches it's shit and I didn't want to learn to use a shit tool. Apparently as a company we decided to hire a freelancer to handle this despite the fact that we didn't build the site and the client isn't paying for maintenance so I'm not sure why it's our fault.

Fast forward to today:
I've been in the office for 19 hours straight trying to learn how to use Muse and fix the client's site because somehow the freelancer managed to delete the mobile version of the site. When I ask my supervisors why I'm fixing and supporting a site we didn't build and don't have experience working in and the response is: we're presenting the client with a $50k proposal and we need all the good graces we can get.

Unless I'm gonna see some of the commission it doesn't really matter what we charge for the site, I make the same whether it's a free site or a $100k site.

nvidia makes me sick, nvidia fucks with my kernel, nvidia earned a place in hell, nvidia is shit, nvidia runs like garbage stuffed in to my motherboard, nvidia is so expensive, nvidia made my work harder and that's not what computers are meant to, nvidia's website sucks, nvidia has no solutions if you're running on GNU/Linux, nvidia owes me money, time and tons of coffee, nvidia is so much a pain in my ass.
nvidia is now on my shitlist, just before apple, followed by adobe.

This fucking Adobe piece of shite.

I get it, you probably make one of the best editing software available out there. But if you could stop rearranging all the icons and features in your UI, that would be fucking great so that I don't have to search on the internet for hours to find out a simple feature.

What the fuck sort of help do you call this!?

Received screen designs for a new website in Adobe Illustrator format with all the measurements in centimetres.

So adobe is changing product names again... Xd

!rant

I’m a backend - spaghetti - developer, and today i took the biggest mindfuck in my life when i found out that it’s possible to have functional mockups... at first glance i tought that i’ve only received a screenshot collection of what the designer did... guess what... i was able to click lè buttons and go trough the whole application flow.

Thanks Adobe for xD ...
I should get a freakin designer job.

In school.
Adobe viewer has stopped working xD

I. HATE. DELL. WITH. MY. GUTS.

Their low tiers products are full black plastic overpriced fuckshit, if you press too much the cover you can actually destroy your display. Fuck shitty laptops and fuck this shitty laptop in particular. It's slow. It's so slooooooow. It's everflying fucking slow motion, being on the web is like being in the matrix while dodging bullets made of wordpress plugins. The only good thing I can say is that is living right now, it has been... Three years? I only picked it because of high discount and ubuntu preinstalled (that made me think: oh, maybe they have components that are linux compatible regardless of distros. It was not). I'm enjoying Manjaro, when I'll have the skillz i'm going full Arch.

I will start university this fall. It's going to be a math major. I absolutely need something better than this anyway. I am also freaking out because I don't know which genre of software they could want to make me install and if they're windows/mac only. In the meanwhile I do photography, video, design and as you may suppose Adobe is often my go-to; I also have to build a workstation at home. I am freaking out because WELL FUCK WINDOWS 10 AND ITS PRIVACY NIGHTMARE PERIOD.

Which laptop I buy?
How well does heavy software run in a Windows virtual machine (on the desktop, not the laptop)?

Joined a new project and started messing with the application...Greeted with a blank web page and a pop-up **please enable flash**

Adobe Flash

I'm a dev and I like to rant

And who says it has to always be about Dev stuff ?

So!!! I ve spent 2 days as a junior dev and I feeel not well... 1) I am the worst dev in the company with no experience 2) brain-dead 3) feel like I wasted 2 days and learnt nothing, I guess in theory it's something but realistically I had no "it clicked" /pure genius /astounded myself / made major new brain connections moments

So what's going to happen now. ? When will I wake up? How do I wake up ?

Because in #Adobe's utopia world, #everyone is a local admin.. and is super computer literate and knows how to use the terminal to change permissions. Oh wait no, the fact is the world is filled with organisations whose users act like monkeys in a cage and absolutely cannot be trusted with admin rights.

And yes.. the 'repair' does nothing, of course!

Ughhh Adobe.. get your act together.

In my classes whatsapp group
*posts a ppt*
person 1:how do I open it?
person 2:use adobe reader
me:*bangs head in the wall*

Because of Steve Jobs,
We lost our Jobs.....
Flash developers thoughts....

How we miss those invisible and invincible update notifications! #adobeflash #goodriddance

After installing an instance of Adobe's PWA Studio for Magento I am 100% convinced Magento is going to be a subscription service like Shopify and BigCommerce, Adobe's version anyways.

I need to bail and try to get my career trajectory going into a different direction. I am running out of time. I have 1 year tops to get into another area of development.

Or I guess become strictly a frontend dev.

New company issued desktop is running win7 *criiiiiinge*

Solution: run linux on VirtualBox!

Efficiency++
Productivity++

So I was planning on a single page website for my relatives hotel websitte and offered to make it for free ( as an offer for other huge project i was doing for same person )

But just got told that one of my uncle told to tell me that website design should like the website design of another hotel xyz.

For second, I thought that other would be very nice. So I checked it out.

Guess what! That other site looks like it hasn't updated since 2005! No HTTPS. No responsive design. Looks like fugly crap from 2005 to me. Has a huge Click to enable Adobe Flash banner on homepage.

I lost my hope in humanity and I quoted a price for making that. I guess I just gotta do a shit job and will get paid for it now 😂

I work 3 PM to 1 AM as a daily office job. Then go home and try to learn programming. Wake up next day at 8:30 AM for kind of another work until 1PM. Doesn't pay as much but I have to try. Then if I get free time do some freelance on UPWORK with whatever little graphic designing I know to help pay the bills.

And the fact that even my laptop is dying is a huge blow. Don't know when it might give up. Has 1st gen core i5 dual core, takes ages to load Adobe softwares. I have wanted to hulksmash this shit, but can't.

If I'm lucky, I get a stress free 6 hours of sleep a few days a month. And my depression doesn't help. More sleep should ease me a little, but I can't afford to waste any time. But this is life, isn't it.

I was flash developer once, it was great when macromedia was around, then adobe acquired them, now flash is gone.

Years are passing and most of industry is the same as always. Trying to drag you into this rat race of learning new amazing technologies, amazing projects that are actually doing same job as 50 years ago but using more memory and cpu cycles. Because all has it’s roots in algorithms from previous centuries.

So youngsters loose your best life time, be innovative by doing nothing more then copy paste from stackoverflow and duck typing shitty code.
Be a slave and sit in the amazing office, that has everything but not your real life that meanwhile is sucked by corporate squeezer till your last breath.
Be piece of shit that can be kicked around.

Watch youtube, facebook, instagram or whatever social network that shows you pictures that are fooling your mind that you’re someone special and you need this stuff.
Then be ready to suck some dicks to earn money and buy stuff you don’t need, live where you don’t want and do what you don’t like. You piece of shit.

Well that’s what disappoints me from my tech stack.

Now chill out, turn off your electronic gadgets, go out and enjoy real world.

These ignorant comments about arch are starting to get on my nerves.

You ranted or asked help about something exclusive to windows and someone pointed out they don't have that problem in arch and now you're annoyed?

Well maybe it's for good.

Next comes a very rough analogy, but imagine if someone posts "hey guys, I did a kg of coke and feeling bad, how do I detox?"

It takes one honest asshole to be like "well what if you didn't do coke?".

Replace the coke with windows.
Windows is a (mostly) closed source operating system owned by a for profit company with a very shady legal and ethical history.

What on earth could possibly go wrong?

Oh you get bsod's?
The system takes hours to update whenever the hell it wants, forces reboot and you can't stop it?
oh you got hacked because it has thousands of vulnerabilities?
wannacry on outdated windows versions paralyzed the uk health system?

oh no one can truly scrutinize it because it's closed source?

yet you wonder why people are assholes when you mention it? This thing is fucking cancer, it's hundreds of steps backwards in terms of human progress.

and one of the causes for its widespread usage are the savage marketing tactics they practiced early on. just google that shit up.

but no, linux users are assholes out to get you.

and how do people react to these honest comments? "let's make a meme out of it. let's deligitimize linux, linux users and devs are a bunch of neckbeards, end of story, watch this video of rms eating skin off his foot on a live conference"

short minded idiots.

I'm not gonna deny the challenges or limitations linux represents for the end user.

It does take time to learn how to use it properly.
Nvidia sometimes works like shit.
Tweaking is almost universally required.
A huge amount of games, or Adobe/Office/X products are not compatible.
The docs can be very obscure sometimes (I for one hate a couple of manpages)

But you get a system that:
* Boots way faster
* Is way more stable
* Is way way way more secure.
* Is accountable, as in, no chance to being forced to get exploited by some evil marketing shit.

In other words, you're fucking free.
You can even create your own version of the system, with total control of it, even profit with it.

I'm not sure the average end user cares about this, but this is a developer forum, so I think in all honesty every developer owes open source OS' (linux, freebsd, etc) major respect for being free and not being corporate horseshit.

Doctors have a hippocratic oath? Well maybe devs should have some form of oath too, some sworn commitment that they will try to improve society.

I do have some sympathy for the people that are forced to use windows, even though they know ideally isn't the ideal moral choice.
As in, their job forces it, or they don't have time or energy to learn an alternative.

At the very least, if you don't know what you're talking about, just stfu and read.

But I don't have one bit of sympathy for the rest.

I didn't even talk about arch itself.
Holy fucking shit, these people that think arch is too complicated.

What in the actual fuck.

I know what the problem is, the arch install instructions aren't copy paste commands.
Or they medium tutorial they found is outdated.

So yeah, the majority of the dev community is either too dumb or has very strong ADD to CAREFULLY and PATIENTLY read through the instructions.

I'll be honest, I wouldn't expect a freshman to follow the arch install guide and not get confused several times.
But this is an intermediate level (not megaexpert like some retards out there imply).

Yet arch is just too much. That's like saying "omg building a small airplane is sooooo complicated". Yeah well it's a fucking aerial vehicle. It's going to be a bit tough. But it's nowhere near as difficult as building a 747.

So because some devs are too dumb and talk shit, they just set the bar too low.

Or "if you try to learn how to build a plane you'll grow an aviator neckbeard". I'll grow a fucking beard if I want too.

I'm so thankful for arch because it has a great compromise between control and ease of install and use.

When I have a fresh install I only get *just* what I fucking need, no extra bullshit, no extra programs I know nothing about or need running on boot time, and that's how I boot way faster that ubuntu (which is way faster than windows already).

Configuring nvidia optimus was a major pain in the ass? Sure was, but I got it work the way I wanted to after some time.

Upgrading is also easy as pie, so really scratching my brain here trying to understand the real difficult of using arch.

Got my stickers! Thank you @dfox! 🙏🏼

Fuck Adobe and its updates.

Designer using Adobe Muse can output html. says to me... "Sorry. It looks like I've taken your job" oh dear.

Web Developers opinion on Adobe Dreamweaver? Thoughts?

I am not gonna lie. I am really excited with the changes coming to Magento with the release of 2.3.0.

I think it will help with the huge problem in the Magento community with devs who are very incompetent but somehow keep getting significant income from clueless clients as Adobe has introduced many changes including deprecating the entire frontend, making it PWA, so react, vue, or any other framework can be used to create the frontend, all backend calls will be through the graph-ql api.

They introduced strict PHP typing, very advanced OO designs, and this deprecates 99% of all stack overflow answers and tutorials which makes me very happy.

Read the damn classes if you want to use them! Stack overflow is 99% wrong on how to implement solutions for Magento! which tells you how few devs out there actually understand Standard Practices for Magento 2.

Now, I just need to find a company that is on the leading edge of development so I can increase my skills faster than currently possible on my own.

I ironically have gotten positive responses from my resume blast yesterday and have initial interviews lined up the entire week at lunch. Was so not expecting this during holidays. But seems to be it is going to be a very good Christmas for me.

Which brings me to my prediction for Adobe's interest in an eCommerce platform such as Magento.

My prediction is they will make the backend a closed source subscription service and you will just create the frontend PWA style with api calls to their subscription service.

Lost hours of work...
Adobe XD crashing when resizing window...
(ToT)/~~~

Adobe flyweaver

We're both senior devs, I use nodeJS/Python. Stop forcing your Java *superiority* shit on me. I can write the API using either language. Also fuck your JVM. FUCK THAT SHIT

Does anybudy still use Adobe Animate/Flash for web animations?

They teach it at my school and at the moment I see no reason to use it. I'm probaly faster writing it by hand in CSS / JS, and it will run smoother that the animate files...

Nothing like good old Adobe flash on Windows 2000 to keep air lines on time... Oh wait, what? Their computer system crashed again? Oh well, never mind :(

Windows XP,
3D Pinball, MS Paint (the old one), Sim City 2000 and 4, NFS Most Wanted, Underground, HP2, Hamster ball, Worms Armageddon, FireFox (sub 10 versions), Adobe flash games, HQ YouTube (that never worked), HTML4, no JS crapware, 007 sound system - dreamscape, 10 year olds doing tutorials.....

And best of all a single MBit of internet speed.

Do I need to say more?

Wow... Magento 2.3.0 Adobe is making cray cray changes, strict PHP typing, Interfaces and Chains, rewrote the stockItem interface today on my module because it is deprecated as of 2.3.0 and the changes are just.... wow.... Adobe gots some developers.

In a recent venture, I had to use an office suite and a photo editing software regularly. As a Linux user, I tried using Libreoffice and gimp. But that was just a mess. My other project partners were using MS office. Format, image alignments, fonts.. everything was messed up. Same happened wih the gimp. I know Photoshop, learnt while studying. Gimp was just no match to that. I was forced to go back to Windows. And I was surprised that the latest MS office and Adobe Creative Cloud were excellent. MS office was smoother and faster than Libreoffice.

I love linux. I have tried all the major distros and I love all of them. But I would still say that Linux is not the best option for day to day non-dev tasks. Whatever Richard Stallman and the Open Source Community say, Linux lack good softwares, at least some good document, photo, audio and video editing softwares.

I still use CS6

Adobe's ExtendScript toolkit is abyssmal. I find posts from 2008 referring to issues that have not changed even in CC2017. Do you think they are small issues I'm bitching about? I'll list 2. First, the toolkit only colours "var, return, for, foreach" and a bit more keywords and the strings, of course you can set up color schemes but those are limited and not colouring stuff. The second issue is auto-complete, it rarely kicks in and suggestions have 0 connection to what are you doing and are always the same. It doesn't recognize anything of what are you doing.

Probably in 2008 you had to program with the manual near you like writing assembler, now there's an improvement in 2017, they got a window named object browser or something like that that actually is a summarised portable manual that could've been easily transformed in auto-complete suggestions.

Adobe writes about this and I quote: "a complete integrated development environment". Although I will not write much scripts in it, I need to write a big one and thought about extracting that object data and putting it in a more capable javascript editor. LO and Behold what I discovered, the ExtendScript Toolkit that's supposed to edit Extended javascript and save it as jsx or jsxbin is almost completely (it has some dlls too) built using around 100 jsx files. It's the equivalent of building a js IDE to edit js.

Sorry for formatting, I'm on mobile, I tried.

*pirates Photoshop*

...

To be honest I forgot completely about the ducks and was kind of disappointed to see them, don't understand me wrong, its a great addition to the shop (especially to support devrant more when buying them and I will probably do too) and trogus (wow it's pronounced t-rogus) deserves a lot of respect for going through the very hard process of developing it, getting somebody to do a decent quality result etc. but I was hoping for the new site that got hyped up some time ago or some update to the app that fixes design issues on phones that have 2k resolution and no statusbar and more. ("just open a github issue" - I don't have one right now and it didn't get much attention anyway, since I am in the niche of people with those kind of setups, most people it seems have phones that can even barely run the app lol). The login still pops up each time you visit the site (basically just click it away, but it's rather annoying to have it pop up), it's nowhere near to the original app (although the native app is written in some sort of wrapper anyway?) - especially what comes to options, customizing, deactivating things, posting into categories (newest feature), getting notifications etc

There is some community builds that try to recreate a better desktop experience, but sadly fail to do so (sorry to devrantron and others, but what the fuck were you thinking when you rounded only the top right and left corner?) - since they always have something that is just thrown out to "be there" or design fails (which devrant just lacks and looks good across the board), that makes me rather cautious if that program doesn't send my credentials to some african prince. ("just look at the sourcecode", yes I have better things to do, thanks)

I could just create my own build, having to reverse engineer the whole website and app (granted, most of it are just api calls), but I simply lack the time (so I understand why my mentioned problems aren't getting really any attention or can't be implemented that fast, yet still its somewhat bugging)

I have listened to the Q&A and I know you guys are working full time at for example adobe (amazing that you both have time to be putting it towards devrant), so its not as much of a rant, just wanted to get out my disappointment about the event I felt personally. Still nice to have seen you and talk with the community a bit (although the time I feel was picked more towards your US audience rather than EU?).

Okay so i graduated last year and got a job working for a place that sadly disappoints me in their web development practices. This place uses a dead technology(my opinion)called Cold Fusion by Adobe. They do not use any form of version control like Git and their sites are very shitty and the design and development is implemented very poorly honestly. It honestly makes me sad that i feel like im smarter than my department vp. That being said i do not feel challenged here and am looking to collaborate in some open source projects via Github preferably.I dont consider myself an expert in this field but i would say im about intermediate level in web development. Im pretty comfortable with HTML,CSS/SASS,PHP,JS/JQuery, and im pretty comfortable in the PHP framework Laravel. So if anyone is interested in collaborating or starting something up, id be so down for it. :)

Does people still use Dreamweaver?

Some designer told me: "I'm sending it in Adobe XD format. Do you use Adobe XD?"

I answered with a 😆

Maybe I need a pause?

Was using Windows Movie Maker all this while, didn't know Premiere Pro it's father

Adobe labs released one new component, I played with it after two days. Went to an interview with huge company after two weeks for a developer position, the interviewers was from different departments, they asked about one technical challenge they have, then I suggest the new component as solution, they gave me small task to implement using the component, I delivered it next day... Then they hired me in R&D department. It was great days.

I was pretty upset at my loved one today. She asks me how to save a file into a PDF, so I explained how to print to PDF from chrome, pretty simple, good so far. Then...
-"Hey, the file has an 'e' for internet, will they need internet to open the file?"
-No, why would they?
-The file has an 'e'
-Did you name it 'e'?
-No, but it has an 'e' like internet
-... You mean the icon?
-Yes
-Right click, click on properties and change the default program to Adobe...
-Oh God, it's so complicated, I'll ask someone else to do it
-What? It's literally 2 clicks!
-Why does it need internet?
-It doesn't! It's just the default
-The what?
-Cheez! Doesnt matter, just go to properties and click on 'Change'
-Fine! Done now what?... Ooh...
-Now click on Adobe Acrobat
-Awesome! Thanks! Now it's fixed, I'm so glad because I'm about to send it on an email and I'm sure my boss would have thrown a fit if they weren't able to open it offline
-😒

Apple, next time you want to get me to upgrade my file system, please FUCKING TELL ME IT WONT LET ME INSTALL WINDOWS USING BOOTCAMP, 9 hours and I’ve only just found the file system that will let me run Adobe Cloud and Windows

So I heard this story from my boss,

Boss: you applied to the open web developer job?
"Pro": yes i have designed many websites.
Boss: are you good with css?
"Pro": Yes i am really good with adobe Cs(6).

How often do we come across IT managers who don't plan their work properly?

I teach software development and programming at a vocational school. Our IT manager said that we got a certain budget influx and that he can procure new computers for our teaching facilities. I happily agreed and hinted that i would really like some new hardware with proper graphics cards so i could do a few small projects with Unreal engine, Unity3d or use adobe products without hardware lag. The new computers arrived about a week ago and then the "fun" started.

He had ordered some PCs with proper graphics cards and processing power and talked about putting them to up in my classroom, so wheres the "fun" i meantioned? He only ordered half a classroom worth of them - i guess the budget didn't allow for more. A week later i was supposed to move to a new room and was waiting for my new computers to be installed and yet the IT manager said that my computers would be moved along with me. I was appalled - what had happened to the new PCs he promised?

Turns out he had put em up in another building without notice, a teacher there wanted to do an extracurricular movie making activity (that included a bit of video editing at some point). That classroom is always in use so me getting more than 1-2 hours a week in there is nigh impossible.

In the end i got no new computers, hardware or software.... he didnt even bother to switch out the 2 "temporary" laptops i had in my classroom since 2 years ago due to a small shortage back then and even these have an old image that didnt include a third of the software i normally use.

PS. He had about another 2-3 classrooms worth of new PCs but those were promised to the other IT teachers back then....

Adobe Creative Cloud: "Sign In Required".

I don't have Photoshop, XD, or any Adobe product open.

No "close window" button in dialog.

My choices are "Continue" or "Sign In Now".

Errrrrrrgggggghhhh...

So, I'm looking into something and end up on Stack Overflow. Someone posted the question:

"Does minified javascript improve performance?"

This question was old as shit, all they way from 07/25/09, and about an Adobe Air application. (Remember that? Me neither...) It had a great, accepted, and still accurate answer, posted the same day the question was asked. Now, fast forward 8 years and on 12/08/17 (A mere 7 months ago...) the following answer was posted. I don't know what they were thinking, but here it is, complete and unabridged, with my comments in square brackets:

"I'd like to post this as a separate answer as it somewhat contrasts the accepted one: [Somewhat contrasts? More like completely contradicts...]

Yes, it does make a performance difference as it reduces parsing time - and that's often the critical thing. For me, it was even just simply linear in the size and I could get it from 12s to 4s parse time by minifying from 3MB to 1MB. [First off, your parse time should NEVER be THE critical thing, but secondly, and more importantly, WHO THE FUCK HAS 1MB OF MINIFIED JS ON A PAGE!!!]

It's not a big app either, it just has a couple of reasonable dependencies. [THERE IS ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY NOTHING REASONABLE ABOUT ANYTHING HE JUST SAID! What dependancies is he using?! You could use minified and not even gzipped jQuery, AngularJS, Vue, Ember, React, AND Dojo libraries on the SAME PAGE, AND have 118k of application code, AND STILL NOT HAVE HIT 1MB QUITE YET!!!]

So the moral of the story here is: Yes, minifying is important for performance - and not because of bandwidth, but because of parsing. [Javascript should NEVER take longer to parse then to download, even on a low powered device...]"

So, yeah, I'm at a loss for what this guy was thinking, but the thought the people like this exist, and that my browser might one day be subjected to their horrific nightmare of code terrifies me...

tldr: Fuck Adobe Premiere

What the flying fuck.
I have a school project together with a friend and decided to do a video. Not only do we now only have one fucking day left, because the teacher decided we dont need time or anything, but I have to learn video editing software, record clips and create the video withing one fucking day.
I've downloaded Premiere because I have a 7 day trial left and had Creative Cloud on my PC and WHAT THE FUCK kind of fucked up bullshit software is this human compiled piece of shit?! I needed to google how to add text and edit it because adding text gives you absolutely nothing, you get no possibility to edit the text in any way, except the content. After googling for 10 minutes because I have the newest version and they changed the text tool, I found out that you need to go to another tab... of which there is 7 and all have such telling names like: "Effects" and "Compose"...
I needed to go to "Effects" BECAUSE WHY THE FUCK NOT, TEXT SURE LOOKS LIKE AN EFFECT TO ME! Then I wanted to align it to the right so its on 50% of the screen. You fucking cant, I've tried and looked for an hour the only possibility you have is to align it to the center or just throw it somewhere. The snapping didn't even work correctly. So I tried to do something else because I was ready to punch a kitten.
A box. A box thats black. A box thats black and thats aligned to the... FUCK YOU, YOU CANT ALIGN THIS BOX.

I cant align a box...
They dont even give me the possibility to...
But I can align the text BOX, not even the FUCKING TEXT itself...

What
The
Fuck

This is the worst program I've EVER had to use. I'm fucking mad and this fucking project can FUCK ITSELF.

Anybody knows any good Linux alternative to Sketch or Adobe Xd?

Adobe finally released a version of Flash that doesn't suffer from zero-day exploits.

Uhhhh, fast!

My worst experience has actually been trying to fix someone else's code. One of my friends is in a graphic design class, and right now they have to do a basic site in DreamWeaver (a small nightmare on its own, I've found that the previews they show are never quite correct). I decided I'd at least pop in to help out a bit, cause they kinda have no clue what they're doing. They are graphic design students, NOT developers, and it's very easy to see that.

One of the first things I noticed was EXTREMELY unorganized code, but that's forgivable. But...I once saw probably 5 </body> tags in someone's code, a JavaScript function inside of the <body> tag, and a bunch of CSS statements in the <script> tag that they had one if the JS functions in.

I remember seeing this stuff, and I thought "what the actual fuck?". The dude was like "yeah it's unorganized as hell, I know"

...That's not the problem. CSS goes in either a <style> tag or a separate file (THEY HAD A SEPARATE CSS FILE). JAVASCRIPT GOES IN A <script> TAG OR A SEPARATE FILE

But, I get it. They're graphic design students. They can outdo me in probably everything in the Adobe suite (except DW as I learned). I once watched a girl in there do a project in Illustrator. I had no fucking clue what was going on. And when I was talking to her about it, she said "that's what I was thinking when we were watching you fix our code"

Kinda got a little sidetracked there. Basically, worst experience is non developers writing code for an assignment.

My dad was using notepad to edit some HTML for his website. I downloaded Visual Studio Code and he likes it SO MUCH MORE. (I wonder why....).

Kinda happy I could help him with it. He is pretty good at coding but just hasn't done it in a while (not his trade) so he doesn't know all the new tools and such.

Just boosted my Starling/Adobe AIR game engine's performance by 60%! active code time per frame @ 60fps reduced from 50% to 19%. Now I have more room for lighting effects :)

So in the context, I ragequitted my school at the end of the 4th year (out of 5, so no diploma). I was broken, poor (the only money I got was my parents), and mad as fuck.

I took a 2 month vacation during the summer where I did strictly nothing, then I sat down to my computer, opened Rubymine and started building my new website (current version actually, new one is in progress)

Right after that, I downloaded the trial version of Adobe InDesign and created a better / updated version of my old CV, and put it on LinkedIn, Viadeo, everywhere. At first, it didn't work much since all my experience was about underpaid internships, so I honestly had no work experience on the paper.

Then, while answering to a job offer, I put my CV on Monster, before I realized I should have done this from the beginning: next 3 mornings I had 5 phone calls, and 2 appointments per day for 2 weeks 😁😁

My current job was one of the firsts that called me, but made me wait a whole month (through appointments & shit) before answering me "Yes" one tuesday at 10 pm, on my way to take a shower. It's been 10 months now 😁

As a teenager learning to code on a computer given by my parents

It hurts to see announcements like mobile development has some limitations on 32bit, or Github Desktop, Adobe XD and the new Unity only supports 64bit

Got our snazzy new HP Elitebooks from IT. Nice lil laptops.

Guess how many apps they installed for us off the list of "Applications Devs Need" that was submitted with the original request that they asked us to provide.

Goddamn 0. 0 Apps installed. ”Instead here is admin access, install what you want.”

Being a PC guy I don't mind setting up a new environment but things like Office365 and Adobe CC could of been installed for me, I don't have the licence info offhand so now I gotta bug IT again and why ask for a list if your not going to install any of them?? Ugh. I don't have time to sit here while Adobe installs the whole suite....

/rant

What's the first thing you install on your new PC? I find I grab ConEMU first.

Being drunk I keep thinking I can't get back the years I didn't spend programming when I was 16-20. What do now? Want to do Web but all I know is a micro part of everything. I can make a demo in old Unity. I have shitty basic skills in Java, Python, Pascal, JS + React. Also basic UX, Adobe design programs like AI, PS and ID. Nothing proper, and home projects just don't seem to cut it. Irl bards can't get no work

Is it just me, or do Adobe products just get progressively harder to use? I'm thoroughly frustrated with trying to figure out how to do simple things like annotating screenshots in Photoshop, like I used to do several versions ago. All these damn options and non-intuitive names for things and crap scattered all over the UI. I just want to draw a friggin arrow and wrap red text in a nice box with a white background!!!

I regret downloading too many Photoshop brushes, gradients, actions, patterns & etc.

Purging files at the moment.

Html5 vs Adobe flash. Html5 won
Html5 vs java Web embedded app. Html5 won
Therefore Html5 vs java 3 billion devices. Ans=?

Adobe is shit and they make shit. Why do they have such dominance???

"For front end developers that don't like Sketch". Say what!? Sketch is the best thing that's happened to front end designers in terms of design tools. Anyone who prefers Photoshop to Sketch is a sadomasochistic.

Around the time Apple was denouncing it, I joined a chatroom for Adobe flash game developers. I really loved the idea of making games too, so I tried to learn ActionScript3. That failed, because it was my first language and since I was broke, I couldn't afford flash pro, so I was using an open source ide with okay documentation, but no newbie coder tutorials. I didn't actually start learning to code till Codecademy came out, I learned js, then I learned visual basic and Java for online courses the local community college had available, and now I'm taking C, C++, Java, and Python in college while I use C# at work and JS during my free time. Sadly, in a jack of all trades, master of none :/

Adobe ExtendScript 😕 *sigh*

FUCK YOU, ACROBAT!

so, my friend was telling me, his ex texted him and asked, I'm quoting,
'How to install numpy and pandas in python?'

she wanted to try machine learning !!

Doing personal online shopping whilst waiting for code to compile (took about 10-15 min every time, just for the smallest code change).
This was a really slow Adobe Flex system which I hated. Actually glad I left because no sane company uses Flash, even in 2012.

You know something has gone wrong terribly when no MS Office program or Adobe reader starts while the debugger is waiting at a breakpoint.

I'm really curious which part of the kernel or system near userspace-components can cause such behaviour and where MS created pointless tunnels between independet software to let that happen. But I think I will never find out.

I can't fucking read adobe *eks deh* ever as what they intended it to be, it always seems like the author of the comment / .. is a gen Z laughing out loud about something.

I guess that I would say anything from Adobe..

My mobile/web app that gives you a list of open restaurants within 500m/1km. Need to further ML.

Is someone else into photography and can recommend me some Opensource software for it. (fuck Adobe for Flash and not supporting Linux)

Fuck Adobe Premier.... after 2 days of trying to get it to stabilize a video n prolly frying my CPU.... I'm moving to Plan B.... guess it should've been Plan A:

Upload Youtube so I can use their Video Editor... then download it back when it's done.

I'm slowly migrating the primary e-commerce, highly outdated Joomla site at work to a licensed, out-of-the-box, designed for a printing company e-commerce system. The first step, in order to understand the system, is to migrate a business card generator to this platform. The original generator (which deserves its own rant) is for a very large and well-known client. In order to transfer to the new system, I have to recreate each business card in the specified format. However, the system requires PDFs made in Adobe Acrobat Pro. The original projects are from Adobe InDesign (which I do not have), so I have a lot of manual, very tedious work to do. Because the client is strict about their card designs, I need to remake them exactly. Well, exactly includes the font they used.

It's not as if we do not have the font at work. On no, we have copies alright. It's just that the InDesign projects, and the font, are on Macs. And the font is a PostScript file. The system requires OTF or TTF fonts. Which nobody has. So I spend my first week (last week) trying to get this paid font. I feel as if I was making a fiasco. We finally identify the exact font, even the weights, and purchase them. Today after lunch. Great! I can finally get these four cards finished. Timing is alright, I've had a busy morning trying to track down emergency issues that arose from deploying some code yesterday morning for a different system (my internship project from last year, actually).

I finish the cards. Not wanting to tackle the vertical cards or deal with the incorrect and inconsistent info on one card type right now (the client really doesn't need to know I'm remaking these and I don't need to tip them off), I start this other card from the same client. I get everything roughly in place. I even stay late to work on this to make up for lost time trying to get that font. I open the model PDF to check what font it uses, as it is different from the one we just bought, the one every other card from this client uses.

Helvetica.

I check my computer, don't have it. I check multiple co-worker's computers, even old ones. Nothing. The Macs have it... in PostScript format.

I should have started on the vertical cards. Oh, and my Acrobat Pro trial says it has "1 day left". I'm expecting it to be dead in the morning. Which means I can't get any work done until the lady gets in office and purchases me a license, which won't be until after 9:30 AM....