Managers: wE wAnT tO bE LeAn aNd MoVe FaSt As PoSsIBLe wiTh NeW FeAtUrEs

Same Managers: Can you make this icon 2 pixels smaller?! Shift this element left?! Swap out this icon?! Use a different color here?! A perfect feature and design is critical!!!!!!

FullStackClown: You can either be lean and fast, or be fucking nitpicking clowns 🤡 about this stuff and slow us all down. Choose one.

Managers: ...

FullStackClown: Sit down and shut up

Tldr : In my country, there is always a middleman .It is so rare to work for end client directly and it is very common to be fuck over by them, because they want milk you out as much as possible

Job description : Salary range from X to Y

Me : I expect 90% of Y $
HR : if you pass technical examination we can agree on this amount.

*Technical interview*
All correct answers, perfect match with stack etc.

HR calling next day:
HR: Great job on interview, but you need to lower your financial expectation to X (around 50% of Y)
Me: Why? We have spoken the other day and you said there would be no problem with the money. I nailed the interview, I don't understand why I should agree to lower wage.
HR: I know I know, but right now we cannot give more. Maybe later
Me: I am sorry, but I feel kinda cheated. For me this is red flag since I don't know what I can expect later if you are not sincere from the beginning. I won't take your offer, goodbye.

I hired a guy on upwork. His english is shit. But hes done the work correctly. Fast forward today he asked me "off topic question but do u have any female friend who can accompany me to fuck?"

WTF IS THIS SHIT

That is not professional AT ALL. I dont give a shit about the fact he cant get no bitches so hes begging me as if im some kind of a pimp. On upwork?? Gtfo.

Now i understand why companies want to hire only people with college DEGREES because they have went through the process of conforming and dont ask stupid shit questions. Eliminates a lot of bullshit and Neanderthals like this guy

Ffs

Fuck you, I Quit

Manager: We do not identify as a tech company so don’t expect tech company salary increases this year

Dev: Well don’t expect me to bring a tech work ethic then

Manager: !!

If Bill Gates had a dime for every time Windows crashed ... Oh wait, he does.

devrant: tell us about your shitty co-workers
everyone:

Nothing pisses me off more than a manager that keeps demanding shit but when you ask for support they deny it from you. well guess what? two can play this game, bitch.

I hate when installers have "British English" and "American English" listed

It should say "English" and "English (simplified)"

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JS is too funny 😂

Dev: I think we should send Dev2 for some training and certification

Manager: We do not train people or have them certified. When you train people and especially if you have them certified they always leave the company for better offers so we no longer do that.

Dev: So the plan is to have a the company operated by a bunch of untrained uncertified people?

Manager: 😡 You are being disrespectful again

Someone, I have no idea who, commented on my personal project that he wanted to pick up one of the issues.

Then, he followed through and fixed it and sent a PR.

Feels good man.

I refuse to believe that I'm the only person with a text file full of my frequently used scripts in different languages with no particular assortment
Because I find it slightly stupid to rewrite the same thing over again every single damn time

"All the Photoshop filters in the world won’t save a weak design." - William Childs

A typical Stackoverflow question

I was hired to do a massive project as a temp. I got part way done and they hired me full time to finish. Then I moved to putting out production fires for unrelated systems until I left.

I’m going to fucking kill my boss.

He’s known about how I’ve been writing this fucking ticket (screwdriver followup) for four fucking weeks, and on the last fucking day (yesterday) he tells me it’s not the correct fucking architecture and to rewrite basically all of it using <unknown bullshit> instead, and that i must have it done by today — by this fucking morning — so it can make the release.

WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T YOU TELL ME ABOUT THIS AT ANY POINT IN THE LAST FUCKING MONTH WHILE YOU WERE BUSY NITPICKING MY FUCKING CODE YOU FUCKING CUNT?!

tears rolling down

........

these backend devs,
please. dont touch the CSS.

you primitive animal. we use SCSS these days.
all of your changes will be overridden by us when we compile.

Funny how human brains are never satisfied.

Not much to be done at work today? My job is unproductive and I am wasting my time.

Too much work? You think you fucking own me, bitches!!

I uh.. I may or may not have just spent the last hour or so disassembling my headphones, only to find that there's batteries inside and the earcups just clip off.

Always do the easiest thing first...

Them: why you hate our product
Me: well

After telling my manager I'm leaving for another company they started taking interest in my life all of a sudden and really want me to stay. In serious doubt about what I should do now.

Websites that don’t let you go back, Fuck you

This hurt me so deep. Feel hopeless. He want it fast , 2 Apps for iOS and Android ( that means 2 for Android and 2 for iOS) in this short time with overly complex requirements (as in the documents).

Omg. ...

I don’t think I will ever be able to get used to this style of arrow-keys.

"His graphs are bigger than mine."

🤐

1. start up my monitors, have one monitor streaming news while the other one is browsing devRant.

2. drink an ungodly amount of caffeine

3. crash so hard that I have an excuse not to code and go back to bed.