Joined devRant on 2/20/2020
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I'm really sick of people saying "WE USE SCRUM" like that was the solution for their shitty code or their "business core"6
Fuck Sitecore (Crapcore) up it's ass! Honestly, I thought Wordpress was a pain, but crap, at least I can get it to fucking work! Crapcore is the most finicky, bi-polar, PoS I had ever had the displeasure of using. Full of bugs, issues, and half-cocked stupidity (and we're talking from the ground up).
Imagine this, let's take a perfectly good working wheel (MVC/ASP) and then let's redesign it to be the most dysfunctional crap, that would fall apart the minute a damned light breeze blows on it, oh! And let's make it EVEN WORSE...Let's hide everything behind an eff'n pay wall and gimmicks that never work! Brilliant! Now NO ONE will be able to help anyone (because no one wants to pay up the ass for this shit to begin with)! I mean, it's not enough that the "framework" is such a bloated mess that no one knows what/why things screw up (psst...it's the framework itself), let's make it so idiotic to use as well! F'N BRILLIANT!
Seriously, I can only pray that the same thing that befallen to Blackberry happens to Crapcore so that I could be rid of this shit (or find someplace else that DOESN'T USE THIS SHIT). Word of advice, before taking any job, if they say they're a ".Net firm" ask them if it's MVC/ASP or Crapcore...And if it is, run...Run far the fuck away from that mess! It would save you the aggravation, anguish, and the stress of trying to get any work done with a "framework" that seems to have been made by a mentally disabled 2 year old (no offense to any mentally disabled 2 year olds other than the mentally disabled 2 year old morons at Crapcore).
I don’t know if I’d call this procrastinating, but I remember finishing 12-15 weeks worth of work in approximately 30 days. The thing is, I was given the assignment 30 days before it was due. So it looked and felt like procrastination but it was more like turn and burn baby.
I was in te office for 15-16 hours a day including weekends for the entire month. Got to the point where the waitresses at the local ramen joints would have my order ready to go when I walked in for dinner every night
Wasn’t the first time and won’t be the last, but luckily it isn’t like this 365 days a year.
I forgot to mention, I did accomplish the mission, mere hours before it was due. It felt like getting a rocket into the Death Star’s exhaust port with your targeting computer turned off. The final branch that I developed was 4 MB, roughly 125,000 lines of code, many of which were modifications to existing stuff and not new from the ground up. It took three months for people to review it and merge it to mainline but luckily our customers were happy to build from source and deal with it.8
Show up on time.
Have a list of things that need to be covered if you're leading the meeting.
Stay on track, don't let people start talking out of one tangent, I tend to suggest people discuss it afterwards or email about it.
Take the meeting seriously, otherwise other people will not.
Know how to talk a language everyone understands. Sometimes people with key info just aren't very technical.
Following Ely's golden rules for meetings, my meetings are rarely longer than 20 minutes.5
Oh u know, I haven't done much of anything workwise since we all got sent home due to Corona. I feel bad about it but also like it's only partially my fault. I work like shit from home, true, but I would probably be more efficient if I had any way of knowing what I'm doing 😭 I switched depts a week before Corona and as a result I only got one hour of training in a new system and have had to teach myself the rest 😔 pour one out for ur homegirl who feels bad but also can't learn any quicker. I have half a mind to just respond to one of those pesky recruiters spamming me lately.5
That feeling when a company HR person (recruiter) tells you after your interview that this has been the best interview so far and you have made her day
Me: "do you know about .exe files?"
Girlfriend: "yeah, like '.exe stopped working'"
*Windows exe immediately associated with bugs by common user*11
As a bioinformatician I sometimes feel like I’m not fully a computational guy, but also I am not fully a biologist... anyone in an intermediary position like that?2
Ok, rubber ducks are ducking helpful, but I moved to use actual ducks.
If you are currently stuck somewhere where your rubber-mate cannot help out, feel free to ask. I’ll forward.17
I started chilling and coding with this new lofi genre. I might be late to discover this genre but this is an awesome man.
I mixed that with the pokemon games that I used to love so much and then I discovered this.
I was asked to present a code I wrote previously. This was not planned. I shared my screen and presented. Things went well.
One employee asked me to search a particular term which was possibly related to an advance topic in the domain we were working on.
I opened Chrome and the first page had a Quora post: "Why my dull co-workers try to act smart and are not yet fired?".
Everytime I learn something, I start to learn something new, and I forget what I just learned. I'm tired of readin docs...3
A dude was caught fapping hard to the hot girl in our class. She cried when she found out
That dude is a creep36
A guy just smashed his head on the keyboard in a slack channel i’m in, likely being drunk
Thank god I was quick enough to tell him to not drink and code. He promptly followed it by „This message has been deleted“
Confession: In my almost 10 years of professional dev experience, I have never written any kind of units tests for my code. Ever.16
Once usaians stop calling themselves americans they can talk and complain about proper non-misleading identifiers 😘13
Instead of a rant I have a story for you.
I was browsing my emails and eminently pissed off, as I usually am. Came across an email from
and thought "fuck this guy and his adverspam!"
Because whats more rational than hating someone you don't know, over something they didn't do, because of something completely unrelated to them of which they have no control?
The email looked like this
"I have some fantastic news for you:
Clean Components will be released again on April 21!
With a "🎉" emoji. I'm in a more vile mood than usual today.
It goes on.
"Even better, I'm significantly dropping the price, so you'll definitely want to pick it up!"
I fire off a quick reply.
"What a bunch of bullshit.
I decide to change careers and a month later, just like in 2008, this fucking pandemic happens and the economy and hiring
And here I am getting sent this bullshit.
I had to rewrite and shitcan the response a few times for civility. I guess this is me being polite, but I was suddenly compelled to vent to this total stranger over what in all likelihood was an *automated* email.
Six and a half hours later I got a reply.
"Hey James, I'm sorry this pandemic has been rough on you.
I hope things turn around for you soon.
If it would help, I'd give you the course for free, but if you've switched careers I'm not sure it's relevant any more?
My god. A lone voice of calm in a wasteland of 24/7 bad and worsening news. Sometimes simplicity is the soul of class.
Hes got it in spades.
And here I was thinking "today might be the day. Thank god for giant bottles of hydrocodone."
It's not true that all gingers are soulless demons.
Some of them are angels in problem glasses.
No but seriously, hes a cool guy in my book.
Check out his site if you're interested in Vue at
E-Mail from client who couldn't add the WhatsApp link in her website:
"so if I click the link they can directly send the message through WhatsApp?"
Why the fuck would you click your own link to message yourself?
How is it that people can barely speak and still be a business owner?4
- hold yourself accountable for your mistakes
- keep track your mistakes and learn from them
- put thought in what you do
- be organised
- become comfortable asking for and offering help
- realise that some problems have no universal solution
- don't just copy what others do, but also think for yourself
- learn to be patient2