Girl: "hey"

My Brain:
java.lang.NullPointerException:
at net.brain.functions.Talk.retrieveSpeech(Talk.java:2978)
at net.brain.functions.Talk.createFlirtyResponse(Talk.java:3132)

Me: null

*Girl walks away*

When I update Android Studio and everything breaks.

When you are the one who does all the work in a group project.

As a Dev,
I hate writing Docs.

As a Dev,
I hate it when there's no Docs.

Vicious Cycle.

Developers sound like psychotic sewing serial killers.

Always taking about strings and threads or killing parents, children and detaching heads.

When frontend is ready before backend

Well yeah. He is right!

Fuck the cookie warnings on websites!

They don't do anything helpful and are just fucking annoying. Especially on some websites where they take up half og the fucking screen.

Dear Apple.

Charging $99 for a one-year developer account is bullshit.

Best regards,
Me and every other tech-student on this planet.

Found this, but not sure if it applies to us

When your IDE is in dark mode but every webpage you visit has a white background... And alt-tabbing makes your eyes bleed.

How to vertically center in css..

- Knock, knock

- An async function

- Who's there?

System.io.weed

The true savior.

!rant

me deleting print statements after debugging my code

Ghost in the Shell (2017)

If programming languages where weapons...

1. C is an M1 Garand standard issue rifle, old but reliable.

2. C++ is a set of nunchuks, powerful and impressive when wielded but takes many years of pain to master and often you probably wish you were using something else.

3. Perl is a molotov cocktail, it was probably useful once, but few people use it

4. Java is a belt fed 240G automatic weapon where sometimes the belt has rounds, sometimes it doesn’t, and when it doesn’t during firing you get an NullPointerException, the gun explodes and you die.

5. Scala is a variant of the 240G Java, except the training manual is written in an incomprehensible dialect which many suspect is just gibberish.

6. JavaScript is a sword without a hilt.

7. Go is the custom made “if err != nil” starter pistol and after each shot you must check to make sure it actually shot. Also it shoots tabs instead of blanks.

8. Rust is a 3d printed gun. It may work some day.

9. bash is a cursed hammer, when wielded everything looks like a nail, especially your thumb.

10. Python is the “v2/v3” double barrel shotgun, only one barrel will shoot at a time, and you never end up shooting the recommended one. Also I probably should have used a line tool to draw that.

11. Ruby is a ruby encrusted sword, it is usually only used because of how shiny it is.

12. PHP is a hose, you usually plug one end into a car exhaust, and the other you stick in through a window and then you sit in the car and turn the engine on.

13. Mathematica is a low earth orbit projectile cannon, it could probably do amazing things if only anyone could actually afford one.

14. C# is a powerful laser rifle strapped to a donkey, when taken off the donkey the laser doesn’t seem to work as well.

15. Prolog is an AI weapon, you tell it what to do, which it does but then it also builds some terminators to go back in time and kill your mom

All credits go to Vicky from damnet.com

Me: Let's grab something for dinner!
GF: Sure, but let's go somewhere safe
Me:

True shit.

"my app is so awesome you don't even have to close it, it crashes itself automatically. "

I've turned 24 years old and it was given to me this amazing cake at the party, could it get any better?

When images won't load...

I don't understand the phrase "once in a while".
If you execute something only “once“ then why you keep it in a “while“?

Reality

Funny SO easter egg for those who haven't already seen it...

If you navigate to http://stackoverflow.com/admin.php/ you're redirected to a random 10 hour YouTube video.

Source: /r/ProgrammerHumor/

Had to explain the difference between front and backend.

Restaurant:
Waiter == frontend
Cook == backend

Just found this precious gem in the legacy code I am maintaining! How do you check if a string is empty :-D ?

Best way..