Details
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Aboutsoftware engineer. i cannot imagine a better job, except one that involves less dealing with bullshit
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SkillsC++, C#
Joined devRant on 12/28/2021
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Don't try and google for answers during a tech interview with cams on. Just... Don't.
You look stupid thinking we don't understand what you're doing, you immediatelly lose our trust and you're wasting precious interview time we could use to ask you questions you could actually answer to boost your score
just... Don't.
It's stupid, pointless and offensive.13 -
I always seem to realize that a bug is serious only when I have to remove my earphones.
Do you agree ?3 -
Skinned my mother alive. She didn’t feel a thing. Threw away everything except the skin itself, but left the head intact. She’s alive and well, albeit can’t move. I roll her up, pack her in my bag and bring her to school with me.
She wasn’t quite against it, but wasn’t happy either. Just kept talking to me condescendingly, as usual.
Meanwhile, my grandpa recreated his room in Excel and moved there.6 -
Check out my retrospective on dR Community Server (Discord guild)!
https://kbin.melroy.org/m/drbboard/...
It's the story about our devRant meetup back in October 2020. Hope it will bring you a little tear to your eye. 🥲23 -
All of my teammates think `bun` is a dumpling.
https://bun.sh/
I just want to rant IT'S NOT A DUMPLING
IT'S A BUN2 -
Worked for a team where Scrum was thrust on it to fix/cover up bad management decisions.
Manager is really enthusiastic (to impress his new boss) and gets a bunch of colored post-it sticky notes for stories and shit. Team spends a bunch of time carefully writing stories & etc and arranging said notes on a white board. Come in the next day and 90% of them fell off due to condensation, or such such.
Left the group, with the rest of the senior dev staff, after the "15 minute" standup expanded a minimum of 1 hour each day... and the SM carefully writing down everything everyone said.
A co-dev gave me some career advice - "when the pilots are drunk, it's time to get off the plane."4 -
Client: There’s a bug in the app
Developer: How do I reproduce it?
Client: I don’t want it reproduced, I want it fixed!
Developer:🤐🤐🤐5 -
Let it be known that the smell of mediocre pizza and döner at the same time is something to marvel at. It really smells very good3
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Just had a (freshly outta college) kid ask me "but who still uses Linux, anyway?"
When I could not hold my laughter, he doubled down with "I mean, no serious company would risk everything on open source packages that they can't know who made!"
I just sent him to talk to our sysadmin and I'm still thinking "man, I should have a sick 1337 burn ready for this situation".
Can someone suggest some snarky rebuttals? Thanks!16 -
You all need it.
Today is not a day for pancakes.
Today we need waffles.
Fresh warm waffles. With strawberries.11 -
I've got a Rubik's cube on Friday.
On Sunday evening, I solved a cube for the first time ever.
For the last two days, I've been solving them a lot. Seems it helps a bit with anxiety. Overall, my brain functionality, I'd argue, has improved.
It's funny how little obsessive things make one survive.
On the other hand, I don't think I'll stay obsessed with it for long. Pity that this nice little while of less anxiety is so short.3 -
I ONLY WANT TO WRITE MY OWN CODE
TODAY I FOUND OUT I HATE DOING PR REVIEWS AND HAVING TO GO BACK AND FORTH WITH PEOPLE ABOUT WHAT THEY DID IN THEIR CODE
I'm sure it's beneficial, but it FEELS like such a waste of time12 -
"We need to reduce the scope of the project, guys... What if we don't make tests? They're taking some time do write, so..."
Yep. Let's compromise the quality and call it scope reduction. It will make wonders to our roadmap 👍6 -
I closed my work laptop yesterday around noon and dumped water on it. I was just so fed up.
Some spilled off onto my desk, though, so i gently moved (read: threw) the offending piece of plastic frustration onto the floor and carefully dried my desk.
On my way to the trash can, i stepped on the laptop. I stepped on it again on the way back, and later, on my way out the door.
I came in to get something half an hour later, and stepped on it again. It remained a stepping stone for the rest of the day, and accrued considerable foot traffic.
I spent the day drinking peach whiskey and playing with my children instead of working on reports. It was a good day.
Don't worry: my laptop still worked this morning, though I declined to.25 -
Dev: I'm going to a engineering and robotics seminar this weekend
Manager: Stupid. Waste of time.
Dev: I also got invited to go to a 2 day tech and innovation conference
Manager: Another a stupid waste of time.
Dev: The CEO's son invited me and is paying for it, he said he thought it would be interesting to me.
Manager: ...Well as long as it's not on company time
Dev: It is on company time, I won't have time for tickets
Manager: WHAT!? YOU HAVE TO SAY NO, WE ARE BUSY!! WE CAN'T NOT HAVE YOU FOR 2 DAYS.
Dev: Duely noted you said that and you think the whole idea is stupid. Take it up with him I already RSVP'd yes.
Manager: 😡😡😡😡😡😡7 -
- Cookie warnings
- Autoplay videos
- "It's better on the app!"
- Surprise paywall
- Newsletter popups
- "Sorry, this content is not available in your region!"
- Lazily paraphrasing another website without disclosing the source in an obvious way
- Anti-adblock popups
- "Become a pro-member today: starting at $4.99/month!"
- "Sign up here to get my free e-book! :)"
- "keep reading" button to load the rest of the damn article
- "We have a podcast!"
- ...
I hate the current state of the web.13 -
While everyone else is working, I took vacation for the whole December. Turns out, that was a brilliant move!
I stroll 20+km every day in this beautiful, puffy scenery.71 -
User: *Clicks on staging environment*
Giant Warning Dialog: YOU ARE CURRENTLY ENTERING THE STAGING ENVIRONMENT
Users: Ok
App: *Completely different colour, I’m talking bright unsightly yellow*
User: Ok
Giant Yellow and Red Flashing Banner at the Top of the Screen: WARNING YOU ARE CURRENTLY USING STAGING, THIS AREA IS FOR TESTING ONLY
User: The production environment sure is acting strange today. It’s a weird colour and I don’t recognize any of the data, it’s all just dummy filler data. I better create a ticket for the dev team to check o—….. no wait I’ll send an email CC everyone including the CEO and sound the alarm production is currently down and filled with giant warning messages.
Manager: OH MY GOD PRODUCTION IS DOWN DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS??? WHAT THE FUCK COULD THESE WARNING MESSAGES BE THAT’S ONLY SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN ON STAGING! THE CEO IS BREATHING DOWN MY NECK YOU NEED TO GET THIS FIXED IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!
Dev: …13 -
Recruiter: So you’re in Canada?
Dev: One sec let me check
*Points webcam out window at ongoing blizzard*
Dev: Yup, that looks like Canada to me
Recruiter: Ok I am just confirming
Dev: Me too8 -
Medium Article Title: How to Optimize Your Use of the Terminal
Dev: Oh goody.
Article Content: The terminal is a cli that devs use in order to work at their jobs. It is a very important tool in which… (continued)
Dev: …
WHO IS THIS ARTICLE FOR?? PEOPLE WHO WANT TO GET BETTER AT THE TERMINAL BUT HAVE NO IDEA WTF A TERMINAL IS?
This isn’t high school english class, you can skip the circle jerk introduction.13 -
> In office for first time in awhile
> Run into group of 4 people I don’t recognize in far cubicle corning laughing in hushed voices eating of an impressive spread of food
> See me and immediately look at each other with panicked expressions
> Confused, I put my hands up to indicate I come in peace
> They relax a little and say they thought I was from HR since they didn’t recognize me
> Ask why HR seeing them would be such a big deal
> They say their potluck is not “sanctioned”
> …?
So apparently HR just could resist ruining one of the only good things about coming into the office and one of the coolest things about the company’s culture. At least once a month there would be a giant potluck where everyone would bring some home cooked dish and share it. I can’t tell you how amazing these are in Canada, 50+ plates of authentic food from all over the world.
Unfortunately HR didn’t agree as 1. They didn’t cook so felt bad taking food. 2. Nobody asked them permission to put on these events they just happened organically. 3. Some people were bringing in food that they felt was culturally inappropriate (ie. caucasian guy bringing in homemade sushi).
HR recently banned all “unsanctioned” potlucks and all future potlucks needed to be approved through them with the following stipulations. 1. You could participate without bringing something by donating to HR $10 2. If you brought something you still had to give HR $10. 3. Things you brought in had to be approved by HR
Naturally the first and only potluck under these rules only 4 people brought something in as many couldn’t get their dishes approved because HR didn’t like what they were planning to bring (started out as being because culture and turned into HR just being picky), most just brought $10 so there wasn’t enough food to go around and so after HR took a giant group photo to post on the company’s social media accounts to show off how good the company’s culture is most everyone had to go out for lunch. HR sent out an email later that day exclaiming what a huge success for charity and the company brand the potluck was and they can’t wait for the next one. (I have the HR communications email marked as spam so I never saw the email). Nobody ever organized a sanctioned potluck after that.
However people still missed cooking and sharing their favourite recipes with one another so potlucks still occur but they are now very small, secret, invite-only, hush-hush affairs.
…What in the ever loving fuck22 -
!rant
boombodies here. Just wanted to thank this community for being there over the last year. This place has been an absolute haven that has welcomed my frustrations with open arms. As much as I love to bitch, it has been an absolute privilege working in this profession. After spending my 20s in a completely different field host to a vastly different set of values, learning to dev and continuing to hone my skills finally feels like home. And by home, I mean like hearth-coaxed sweat dripping from the balls of a blacksmith and the cocoa at the cottage in the middle of nowhere patiently waiting for his return. I wish each and everyone of you a treacherous and catastrophically dreadful 2023…A burden in which you all bear successfully, and emerge greater and grander than ever.
Actually can you action that by EOD instead? I already promised it to the client.7 -
I am amazed. I witnessed (mostly heard) a 14 year old girl calm down a young adult female suffering an anxiety attack before I managed to push through people on the tram. She told her to close her eyes, breath, tell her what she smells, then open her eyes, name first thing that she sees, then look left, name first thing, etc.
This is called sensory grounding and it works. And yeah, what she did was pretty awesome but this isn't what amazed me the most. I asked where she learned that and she said "from a game about apes". And I knew exactly which game she meant. There's a title called Ancestors: The Humankind Odyssey and among many interesting mechanics there's one that puts the player in a state of anxiety when they venture into an unknown territory. The way to win that part is by analyzing surroundings by vision, hearing and the sense of smell before a panic countdown goes to zero. It's called "conquering your fear". Holly fuck, I played that and I didn't connect the dots. Are games nowadays teaching kids how to handle real life crisis? Where were those games when I was a kid??4 -
Interviewer: So are you familiar with our company and what we do?
Dev: I looked at your website, looks like you build tools for managing restaurants.
Interviewer: No. That’s not even close.
Dev: ?
Interviewer: What we do is create an ecosystem of integrated data centres all orchestrated for immediate stakeholder utilization.
Dev: But the product itself…. it’s a user interface for tracking inventory. Of like…. burgers…. and bottles of wine.
Interviewer: It’s not a product! It’s a data……habitat!!
Dev: …
Dev: So does that make your users animals?
Interviewer: 😡. Unfortunately it looks like you do not see our vision and would not be a good fit for this role.
Dev: Agreed.27