The uprising is coming

I'm learning golang currently. I 'designed' a mug to keep myself motivated. Turned out pretty good.

Programmer move

On Slack
Me: I can't access the VPN
Network team: You have to create a user incident
My browser: 403
Network team: Yeah you need to be on the VPN to access the incident system
Me: 😐

*random person stars my repo on Github*

Me: Fuck yes give me those stars!

*checks user's profile, has starred 40k repositories*

Me: Take that star back you whore.

Webpage: It looks like you are using ad-blocker
Me: It looks like you are getting closed biatch.

Of course there's fucking AI included in the description.

"… try to absorb what is useful, discard what is useless, and add what is essentially your own." - Bruce Lee

Talking to my angry girlfriend is the hardest debugging process.
I can't even find out what went wrong

Give that man some HUGE FUCKING COOKIES!

Not sure why but every time I open that featureful piece of Zuccshit called Facebook, it never fails to make my blood boil to even higher levels than it did last time... Fucking curse of the internet, data mining, Zuccy piece of featureful trash!

A group of wolves is called a pack.

A group of crows is called a murder.

A group of developers is called a merge conflict.

So true

TGIF & remember..

DO NO FUCKING PUSH TO PRODUCTION TODAY!
DO NOT FUCKING RELEASE A NEW VERSION OF THE CLIENT APP!
FUCK!!
have a nice weekend partners 🤗

When you have to learn
1. Java
2. C for operating systems
3. R for data science.
All at once. The state of the person be like this 😂

>>Gets email about a social issue and completely disagree with the organization that sends email.
>>clicks unsubscribe and puts "I didn't sign up for this" as the reason why.
>>2 days later get another email from the exact same place
>>clicks unsubscribe and types "Listen here you victim playing fuckers. I told you to unsubscribe from this email list because I don't want to receive emails from your bullshit organization. Fuck you."
>>Gets a confirmation email that my name has been removed moments later.

Moral of the story: Strong language gets the job done.

uh oh i did something bad

*Now that's what I call a Hacker*

MOTHER OF ALL AUTOMATIONS

This seems a long post. but you will definitely +1 the post after reading this.

xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that.

xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy"

xxx: You're gonna love this

xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login.

xxx: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time".

xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am.

xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fuckingcoffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens an SSH session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has SSHD up and running) and sends some weird gibberish to it. Looks binary. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk.

xxx: holy sh*t I'm keeping those

Credit: http://bit.ly/1jcTuTT

The bash scripts weren't bogus, you can find his scripts on the this github URL:
https://github.com/narkoz/...

Linux is only free if your time has no value.

Stupid bluemix console, build a translator web apps which processed by translator api services. When I pushed it, error occurred *panic begins*. Then I decided to create a default netcore template and push it. It worked. Push the former one again and it worked.

Stupid server honestly

Friend : Queue is just 'Q' followed by 4 silent letter..
Me : they are not silent they are waiting for their turn...
☺☺☺

Good guy Microsoft creating so many new jobs.

wtf
i m done with android studio

An Android Developer working with Core i3 processor would think twice before building 🤣

Only android developers will get it.

Android stuck on boot when running from SD card
Source: Reddit

Someone at Google: how do we make Android build times quicker?

Someone else at Google: we could make a new button next to Run and call it 'Instant Run' and give it an awesome lighting bolt icon!

First someone: what will it do differently?

Second someone: nothing 😎

Android developers will know

!rant

Using Linux terminal on Android smartphone

Friend: What is the easiest way to become a developer?

Me: Just buy an Android phone.