Pro tip: If you are a junior, or senior but new at the company, don't start your conversations with:

"We're doing X wrong. At my previous company we did / at school I learned /in this book I read / according to this talk I watched, the right way to do X is ..."

Instead try:

"I'm curious why were doing X this way. I'm used to doing it differently."

I love flat-hierarchy teams, and people who think about flaws in procedures and proactively try to improve the tools we use are awesome, but the next kid walking up to me yelling we use git flow "wrong" will be smacked in the face with a keyboard.

If you come to me with curiosity and an open mind, I'll explain, and even return the favor by behaving the same way when I'm baffled by your seemingly retarded implementations.

Maybe we can learn from each other, maybe discover that "how I learned it" is sometimes good, sometimes bad.

But let's start with some social skills, not kicking off into every debate with a stretched leg and a red face.

They lack inventory management

Enter site

"U must disable adblock to use this site"

Ok adblock disabled

Refresh page

"CLICK HERE TO FUCK THIS FUCKIN HOT HENTAI BITCH IN THE PUSSY WITH HER BIG FUCKIN JUICY TITS AND BIG ASS AND EXPERIENCE THE BEST SEX VIRTUAL GAME OF YOUR LIFE IN THIS AD"

"Once you eliminate quality as a requirement, the entire design process becomes a whole lot easier. " - Jared M. Spool

When a full-stack developer credits the whole team

Ran into a devRant user at a random bar in NYC last night. Super cool meeting you in the wild!

Boss - gives tasks to me. Timeline: 10 days.

Me - work hard and finish the solution in 3 days.

Boss- wtf is this. Do it properly.

Me - chills for 15 days. Submit the same earlier solution after that.

Boss - yes this looks nice now! Much better than your earlier work!

Me - dude seriously what kind of stuff do you smoke before coming to work?

Today I learned:

`/usr` stands for “universal system resources” not “user”

`/dev` stands for “device” not “development”

Had no idea.

Great timing

So apparently two "senior" "laravel-engineers" spent a total billed 35 hours trying to figure out a "critical bug" which "doesn't happen locally".

I went to the dev-console, saw it is generating http urls (fronted by cloudflare https, running on http server-side) and fixed that in maybe ~15 minutes, fucking morons.

How programmers comment their code

I am not expert but what kind of UX writing is this.
Do they think this is cool ?

I identify with this far too much.

😯😮😮😂😁

Nobody in IT ever smiles this much

Every developer's nightmare

Can't sleep

He is going places.

customer who didn't paid for 3 months: why is our server down?

me: server?. what server?.

And I'm that comment that is no more valid 😔

At my study's final exams, I coded a system with login and everything included.

Showed it at the final delivery:
Fake client: awesome! So how do I logout?
Me: 😐
Me: 😶
Me: 😁
Me: 😓
Me: 😭

Yeah, you couldn't logout.

It's 2018, web developers, let get our tools on..

When you manage to crash even your debugger.. -.-

One of the best fucking bot on the internet

My wife: “Commit, then come to bed.”

Jep, that's one way to handle this...

"You look mad."
"I'm running android studio on 4gb."
"What does that mean?"
"God hates me.."

Professor : Explain deadlock and I will give you full marks.

Me:- You give me full marks and I'll explain deadlock.

When you're out of options

My girlfriend's dad asked me to fix his printer.

I open it up, pulled the cartridge, blowed some air and put it back again.

It worked.

He now thinks I am a genius.