curl -L git.io/unix

70% of the population see's you as a scammer. You will have to explain to your family every single day what you actually do and still they will be suspecting you. The annoying part of this , is the fact that literates even think you are a scammer.

Welcome to Nigeria.

apt-get install life
The following packages will be REMOVED:
destiny, future, goals, mother , father, siblings

FUCK THIS SHIT

How where you able to get over a breakup? 😭

We spent 80% of development time implementing a feature requested by a client. Client for no reason says "the feature is no longer needed take it out ". Am so fucking furious now. Such a waist of time

I think I need serious help because for like 2 weeks now i have been feeling so demotivated to code (and peoples project are with me). At times i feel like just doing some unproductive sh*t like watch stupid videos on youtube. I seriously don't know wtf is wrong with me. The way i felt when I started my journey in coding that fire, is no longer burning in me 😭😢

I actually don't understand why most people like saying bad things about electron-js been a memory hog. I am not denying the fact that it sucks up system resources. Placing all the blame on electron-js is irrational because most apps built untop of electron-js does not hug memory (vscode is a living testimony to that). When you use bloated frameworks and/or libraries you are bound to have memory issues. When you don't understand how to manage memory effectively (in higher level language - you still have to do something for your value to be garbage collected) you are bound to be held captive in the chains of memory consumption.
Don't hate electron

I was the first person to actually discover how a black hole looks like. And i can prove it. node_modules/

I fucking hate it when i give someone my phone and the first thing they do is to increase my screen brightness, deactivate eye care mood and start viewing my pictures 😡😡😡😡😡😠😠

Static typing : one boyfriend/girlfriend is enough for me

Dynamic typing : prostitute/womanizing mode activated (i have the right to fuck who ever i want)

April fools day should be changed to purge day (all crimes will be legal, you can murder anyone without going to jail)

Yelling at a client

I applied for two technical talks in a popular conference summit, the two talks were turned down and the reason was that they are much more technical talks than mine. I switched to watch the live stream today and all i see is a bunch of stupid talks (they decided to pick a talk on git aliases over working with change streams and multi document transactions in mongodb). A friend of mine just told me, your talk won't be accepted if you don't know any of the organizers

Probably i should just jerk off to her voice

I have been working on my javascript project since morning, so i decided to switch to the C project, but i can't stop typing console.log and having the compiler yelling at me.
Am only working with array of characters, but the void.

please don't use company email address to register on a porn site

The job requirement was Node.js. during the interview , the interviewer told me that the company uses java for their backend applications. I looked like an idiot because I had 0 knowledge in java. And the asshole told me that if they should give me the job , would I be comfortable with using java. I just freezed for few seconds and told him no.

I think i will stick to the bullshit in my current job

My girl friend broke up with me few days ago without any solid reason. Today i stopped her and ask her why she broke up with me and she started giving stupid reasons whereas she was the one who was actually guilty of those accusations.

I just bought an arduino out of curiosity to actually learn IOT.
I am a business student with 0 knowledge on electronics. What am I suppose to learn first before playing with this device, i don't care about learning curve (i have the time and resources assuming i don't get fired from my current job)

Ever admired someone from afar only to get close to them and realize they don’t have sense?

🤔🤔🤔. As much as i love jokes on javascript, i hate dumb jokes. Someone just called me a mansplainer (first time i heard that word though).

I just saw the most astonishing repo that will be 100% useful for developers who don't get paid by clients
I can't stop lmao

https://github.com/kleampa/not-paid

Welcome to the darkside

😂😂😂

Wtf? I don't understand

someone: Who are you ?
me: Programmer
someone: What do programmers do ?
me: We push shitty hacks into production

wtf. 2 days into a relationship and she is asking me to buy her a phone ( I can buy her a phone if i want to, but within todays of her telling me yes, after frustrating me for a month when asking her out). Once again I have sucessfully entered into another relationship that will definetly end bad.

Open source is the unpaid internship of computer programming.

"Let the developers consider a conceptual design,” the King said, for about the twentieth time that day._

“No, no!” said the Queen. “Tests first—design afterwards.”

“Stuff and nonsense!” said Alice loudly. “The idea of writing the tests first!”

“Hold your tongue!” said the Queen, turning purple. “How much code have you written recently, anyway?” she sneered.

“I won’t,” said the plucky little Alice. “Tests shouldn’t drive design, design should drive testing. Tests should verify that your code works as it was designed, and that it meets the customer’s requirements, too,” she added, surprised by her own insight. “And when you drive your tests from a conceptual design, you can test smarter instead of harder.”

Repeat yourself, but don’t repeat other people’s hard work. Repeat yourself: duplicate to find the right abstraction first, then deduplicate to implement it. -- tef