Yet another commercial seminar upset I won't give up a day of my time to fly to the UK to speak at the event for no payment or reimbursement for my travel.

But of course I should think about the exposure and networking opportunities! 😕

So, I needed a package installed on one of our Unix servers. The package manager--which is obsolete garbage--was failing with a message which can only be described as a variant of "Go fuck yourself". A quick Google search didn't help.

3 espressos and an eternity later, I have descended into a manic state. My hair has turned grey and I have started lactating. As a last-ditch effort, I try a new search query on Google, and the first link takes me to a forum with a thread discussing a similar issue. The last post in the thread has a solution which works for me. After fixing the issue, everything in the world feels right and I decide to thank the generous poster, who is like an angel to me at this point.

Guess what? The poster is none other than me. 8 months back, I had created a user account on the forum just to post the solution to a similar issue I had on another server.

Here's another view that I had where I thought coding outdoors with nature was pretty rad...

When I was traveling on the road and playing around with some code...

6 months ago I sold everything, quit my job, gave up my apartment and left the country with my 11kg backpack. I booked a one way ticket to South America. I wanted to travel, get lost but also finish up some personal projects and do a little tech books challenge I came up with. I learnt so much over the past half a year, it's crazy.

Not looking back. Projects paid off and it turns out that my dream company actually found me themselves without me even applying... and so still from South America I'm in final rounds of the interview! 🤗

All my worries about a gap in CV, no employment along with other problems I thought I was gonna have... It's all BS. So if anyone here is waiting for a sign. Well, this is it now. Go!

At the airport.

Security: Please put all your electronics in the bin, including your watch.

Me: No problem

<goes through scanner>

Me: there was an Apple Watch in here and now it is gone.

Security: Oh, you lost your Apple Watch?

Me: No! I put my Apple Watch in the bin like you instructed and YOU lost my Apple Watch.

Security: It must be in the spinners.

Me: So my $500 Watch is in the spinners being run over by bins?

Security: you have to put the small things on the bottom.

Me: It was on the bottom and I did as you asked, this is entirely on you. Do not try to shift the blame to me again please.

Security: As I said...

Me: As I said, Do not try to shift the blame to me again. This is entirely your responsibility once you separate me from my electronics so you can perform security theatre. Have a nice day.

—————

Fuck this god damn security theatre. Fuck the dumbasses they hire. Fuck your country. Fuck your god damn feeling of insecurity. Fuck Your ineffective security theatre.

Sick my fucking dick until you choke and gag you worthless pieces of shit. Homeless people the street provide more security than you incompetent, under-educated assholes. Fuck you

And yes, I have 2 fucking laptops. I have a real fucking job where I provide actual value and for that I need a work laptop. I don’t come to work in a stupid looking outfit with a chip on my shoulder looking to inconvenience people. I come to work to provide real value to someone.

Fuck you and your worthless bullshit

Well guys it was nice being dev while it lasted. Reevaluated my life and decided to travel the vast world and become a Pokemon master.

CEO hired graphics designer without HR help after first meeting and that person first day of his work borrowed money from people and that’s not end of story.

Same guy came back at night and robbed the workplace with his friends, didn’t came back to work. Company bought couple of big iMac for new graphics department back then, all gone.

When company reported incident to Police it turned out he travel and steal from companies all over the country and they’re trying to catch him for a year.

How do i learn coding in single night? - someone asked me.

I gently replied : Pack your Laptop, and travel to North Pole in beginning of winter, you'll have 6 month of night to learn coding.

Once there - really just Google it there are tons of Excellent tutorials on web.

One month until I travel to China again.
Things left to pack: VPN

Bought new headphones because my current ones' input fucked up again. Already ordered a new one for free but hours of traveling today without music isn't really an option for me.

New headphones don't work on devices without usb ports! 😭.

Went back to the store because I didn't know that and thought they were just failing and got it explained there. No money back because they were working fine.

Me: "well fuck me right now, then I'll just travel without music today :'(".
Guy: *grabs something from a closet thingy* "Here you go, a pair of earphones!"
Me: "Awesome! How much?"
Guy: "Enjoy your traveling man!".

😮

Thanks a thousand times to that guy!

Just got asked "How much experience do you have with the current JavaScript standards? I'm talking ES6 and ES7" in an interview with what I assumed were technical people.

I chuckled and said "I'm comfortable with ES8" as a joke but everyone just nodded and moved on..

Time Travel is real

When people talk about traveling to the past, they worry about changing the present by doing small things, but pretty much no one in the present thinks that they can change the future by doing something small.

So this fucking neighbour of mine just asked me how can I be an engineer if I don't have a printer :/ and then he asked me to create a ticketing system (he is a travel agent) for free because it's just a software.

External company HR: We are sorry to hear you've decided to turn down our offer. You made a great impression and we thought you'd be a good fit. If you change your mind please let us know.

Me: I too am sorry you didn't tell me you were moving to the other-side of the county in two weeks, making it impossible for me to travel to and from work. I too have feelings about having done all the interviews and this being the end result. Thank you

Netflix at it's best. Guess I will have to travel back in time to download this one.

Okay, I'll admit I hardly got any work done but doing some programming in a hammock was fun...

Millennials are getting right f*cked.

Low paying jobs,
Many hours of travel to work because one can't afford to live closeby,
working 10 hour a day, and
there is no hope of owning a home.

Then people say 'oh what do you do when you get home?'

Sleeeep for the limited hours left!

Then your partner says 'oh you just come home to sleep'

Then you have instagram and all these 'influencers' saying go after your dreams... while they very well know they only get paid for heavily edited images.

Wish things were better for everyone.

- "Finance are too busy to look at this"
- "Finance have too much to do"
- "We can't this sorted at the minute because finance are overloaded"

Finance just sent me a request for "detailed description" for each business trip i've made. Attached is a spreadsheet report with 122 columns detailing every facet of my travel expenses that they have recorded so far. Not even just one row per trip, but one row per item, like:

- Trip 1 - Airport parking: .....
- Trip 1 - Airfare Outbound: ....
- Trip 1 - Airfare Inbound: ....

This is way you are too busy, because this is fucking ridiculous. Fix your shitty process and stop bitching.

FYI, your "detailed descriptions" can be found in the contracts we've signed, which outline all the travel needs, which you've already reviewed and signed off on. Get your shit together and stop bugging me

Today my boss asked me if I wanted to travel to another country to setup a new server for a customer.
Pretty good for a student worker I think 😁. Today was a great day

How is this even possible? The person wrote me back in time.

So I just graduated college last month. I had been in this internship for about three months. In the last month I lead a team that developed and integrated a chat application into a Booking Website for enterprises. (They handle bulk bookings for seminars, travel, etc. flights, hotels, local transport, etc).

Anyways I’ve always wondered when I can consider myself a “real programmer.” This is my first completed project and I am very proud of it!

Also I got a job with the Hotel company to maintain among other things 😀

I’m a software Developer! (Erm, or programmer?)

Dreams do come true! 😀

Take a break folks,
From work,
From code,
From tension,
From bugs,

Take a car, drive to the country side, breathe the fresh air, ride horses,
Have a meal, stay for a day or two, without internet, and then Be back to work.

This is what we all need now :D

TL;DR they blocked github
I work remotely, that means every once in a while I take my laptop and travel somewhere, work and have fun. This week I am visiting Turkey, they just blocked github 2 days ago... Freaking github... who does that?! and why?!

Can we stop the undifferentiated EU bashing already?
Yes, the copyright law changes suck, we get it.
But: The EU itself is not a bad thing. Millions of people profit from it by having a common currency, freedom of choice where to travel to, where they want to work without needing a visa, and many, many more things.
Appreciate that.
Thanks for your time, have a nice day.

Toilet seat with a laptop table in front.

The only moment I can focus.
Nobody can disturb me.
The duck also love to swim in the bath.
I can even fap when looking at my sexy code.
I don't need to travel when I gonna pee or poop. Saved me a lot of time.

Dear TSA,

That laptop charger in my bag is not a bomb, you can calm down now.

Sincerely,
The guy who clearly had a laptop in an airport

Agreed with a guy on a price for a second hand laptop-tablet. Finally on my way (NS, go drown in an ocean of infected cum) but I'd be very late.

Guy offers to come to the station (saving me more than an hour of travel time)!

This one SHOULD be Linux compatible 😅

I'm currently freelancing abroad.
I don't get the UK Salley but I don't pay the UK prices.
I get to travel, see the world and support myself.
Much more valuable then any high end wage to me.
Freedom.

!dev

Dear Airbnb Hosts,

The extra cleaning fee isn't just extra profit for you. I will gladly pick up after myself, before I leave. That said, if you expect me to deep clean your flat, consider leaving equipment to do so. If you send me a shitty email because I didn't buy a broom, mop, bucket and kitchen rags to stock your investment property, I'll tell you about where you can stick that noise.

Sincerely,
Fuck you

So I walk to work and pass this sign for a place called helloworld experts in everywhere.

And eventually I was curious enough to go to their website and to my surprise they're a travel company :(

I was expecting some sort of software development company with focus on cloud software due to their slogan, pretty disappointed.

You can work from anywhere... anywhere in the world!

Hmmm... Yeah, right! But not when management likes warm bodies at the office.

I hate, hate, absolutely HATE having to travel to work, spending at least 45min to an hour in traffic just to get to work! 😤😡 And then rinse and repeat to get home... which means I'm up at 5:30 every morning to be at work by 7:30, only to get home past 18:00 - traffic permitting! *sigh* 😩

Will be going through Poland, Germany, France, Holland. Pic related. Shout out to all our Europe friends on devRant!

Just had to update a website i did for a client 4 years ago. I want to travel back in time and bitchslap myself. Horrible... Just horrible coding...

2019:
* Learned a lot
* Earned a little less than expected
* Couldn't travel
* Couldn't sleep much

2020:
* Earn more
* Buy a car
* Buy an iPhone or OnePlus for Dad
* Buy a really nice suit for me
* Travel
* Excercise
* Sleep more

- Waking up 2-3 hours later than usual.
- Not spending 4 hours per day in travel.
- More freedom.

Damn, i think i fell behind in the times on CSS overnight.

When did CSS V5 get released?

My first IT interview, for a 1st Line Support job. I took 2 trains there and fully intended to make that journey every day until I could afford a car.
First interview question: "I've checked the train times from where you live, we have shift patterns which start at 7:30 but the earliest you can get here is 7:50, how would you get here on those early shifts?"
You bitch, you knew I wasn't going to get the fucking job and you still made me travel all the fucking way here.
I answered everything else fine but of course wasn't successful. They didn't even have the decency to let me know afterwards.

When you start a job and they tell you to put your nice laptop away, because you'll have to work on a company provided laptop running Windows 7 in a constricted environment on a project using Svn. And to top it off they tell you to trade in your IntelliJ for NetBeans.

Did I just travel back in time?

When I was working in a park near Seattle where I didn't find productivity to be a battle...

Time to download a 20GB image on corporate network: 7 hours.
Time to tell my NAS at home to download the image, go home - by public transport - copy the 20GB file to my laptop (already downloaded before I get home) and travel back to the office... 1 hour 50 minutes.
My office even has fibre optic and my home copper...

Me to my family :
Family: so this printer not working
Me: have you installed its software
Family: no, can you do it?
Me: i could travel 1 hour or you can just google and download it, its really quite simp--
Family: yeah this is to complicated for me il need you to come over

I got a friend who likes to travel randomly to random places.. he now found some dudes who share this hobby.

So now there is a thing running on my server ticking everyday, 10am, with a 1:150 probability to send a sms to 7 numbers (including me) which tells them to travel to budapest.

FYI: he and his friends study engineering, i study too. So 1:150 may sound pretty low at first but we don't have that much time over the year actually.:D

Russian Roulette Travelling is a thing now.😁

"nice to meet you girl, whats your job?"

"i am a travel passionist"

Feeling like I've gone back in time about 15 years!

Just told my CTO about various improvements we could make to the development process. Things like git, continuous delivery, agile project management apps such as Jira, task management such as Gulp, etc.

His response - "never heard of them. I bet they'll pass in a few months. Just another round of fads".

I hate this fucking front-end stuff so hard..

How DA FUCK is it possible that I set up the whole backend including DB connection, base controllers, models, base validation and stuff in an hour but don't get this fucking fucking retarded JS framework piece of shit to display a test string after ONE FUCKING HOUR!!!

Why do we need this shit anyway? Why does everything have to be shiny with some fucking animations???

It's about the information, isn't it? Then WHY DOES IT HAVE TO LOOK PRETTY???

I gonna travel back in fucking time to the early 80's!

Stupid front-end shit..

!rant

Wooohooo! Company is sending me to Google Earth Engine Summit 2017 on my first international travel !!!!

Hope to meet some of you there 😱
Anyone gonna be there?

When you need to finish a project but you must travel with your class from school

I found my 1989 GAMEBOY ... Motherfucker still works like a charm 🥰 now to find my nokia 3310 and I'm ready to travel back in time and escape the COVID19

for 2019 I want to be the very best dev
that no one ever was
to code them all will be my test
debugging is my cause
I will travel across the net
searching wide on tor
each singleton to understand
the power of the code

devmons its you and me
you know its our destiny
devmons
you're my best friend
and our firewall will stand
Devmons!

When even GPS tells you that's a bad day for work...

Me vs a government employee in India...
Me: You should have setup net banking on your website. I had to travel 20 miles to get to your office to make a payment.
Employee: Sir, we do have net banking enabled.
Me: I searched all over your website but couldn't find it.
Employee: Oh! Well, I guess it stopped working since it rained yesterday.

The only technique I know.

Get hired straight out of uni. Project architect disappears right at beginning and I am left as a graduate employee to build a travel booking web app. Learning new front end and backend frameworks by coding them constantly for the next 8 months.

We might actually get this project done!

And that how you travel back in time

Go home pluralsight, you are drunk...

Why dont you go to vacation?

Its summer why dont you go to vacation?

Just came back from summer vacation at my cunts place where have you traveled?

Why dont you travel?

You're a student! Youre so young and you should go to vacations more often! Why dont you go?

Youre so young! Why dont you travel more often?

How come youre a student and dont like taking vacations?

I traveled at a cumdumpster, pussylicker, shitsmeller, dickbigger, lickthicker and titkisser countries this summer! Which country have you been at vacation?

Heyy where are you going for the summer vacation? Cause I'm going to sukmikehok!!

Omg ive been in Mike Oxmaul country as my summer vacation. What about you?

You didn't travel? What is wrong with you?

You didn't travel? Omg you're like soooo weird!!

You didn't travel? You're so boring i dont wanna hangout with you

You dont like traveling or you already traveled for this summer vacation?

Etc...

------

I get asked these fucking questions all the fucking time.

THEY ASK IT LIKE TRAVELING COSTS 0 UNITED STATES DOLLARS. 0 USD.

THEY ASK IT SO SOFTLY LIKE TAKING A VACATION IS FUCKING FREE OF COSTS AND REQUIRES NO FUCKIN EXPENSES.

WHY DONT I? GIVE ME YOUR FUCKING WALLET MOTHERFUCKER AND I WILL FUCKING TRAVEL THE WHOLE WORLD WITH IT WHILE CONCURRENTLY FUCKIN UR MARRIED WIFE AS SHE RIDES MyH FAT COCK ON THE BOAT IN BAHAMAS.

FUCK YOU

ANYONE WHO ASKS ME THESE DUMB FUCKIN QUESTIONS MAKES ME GET A BOILING BLOOD AND AN URGE TO PUNCH THAT CUMLOAD IN THE FKIG FACE

HHHHHHHHHHHHH

On my way to Taiwan, just 14 more hours of flight.. kill me! But hey at least I got WiFi

I’m on a trip through Scandinavia with a travel group. Today we are staying at a Hotel in Hammerfest. I just got into my hotel room and my lamp looked like that. So I made a photo and went to the reception:
Me (showing photo): Is this supposed to look like that?
staff: Uhmm maybe!?
Me: 🤨
Staff: Do you belong to the travel group?
Me: Yes.
Staff: Then it’s supposed to look like that.

WTF!!!?

I lost my job.

The NYC Lesbians Who Tech Summit starts today and I think I am in heaven. Hundreds of queer women and allies from software developers to executives in one space nerding out and empowering each other- ahhh!

Also, it has some of the best talk titles I've ever skimmed in a tech conference pamphlet. A sample:

"The Gift of Being a Lesbian Who Techs: Igniting Your Power to Lead"

"Space, Science & Religion: Why This Muslim Space Nerd Wants to Travel to Mars"

"How Tech is Revolutionizing the Billion Dollar Cannabis Industry, and Why Women are
Dominating"

"Ruthlessly Running in the Direction of Your Fears"

"No Gods, No Managers: How Anarchist Ideals Can Help Make Your Office & Open Source Project Better"

I love our community❤️ So amazing that it has come far enough for something like this to exist.

Elon Musk is building on new, rocket like transportation technology to travel to any part of the planet in half hour. Also should cost same as aircrafts today.

This is man modern day "Thinker"

//not dev releated
Today I have proven that light is weightless yeah everybody knows that but its different when you make the prove in your head and understand it how it works.
I was using E = (mc2)2 * (PC)2
That means when object is lighter it can travel faster so if its weightless it can travel 299,792.458 km/s
So when we take that only particle with speed of light is photons then we can make that photons are weightless and that allows them to travel at speed of light.
After that you can calculate energy of light by using e = pc
I have to done some math to get result to get this but it was fun even when I know the result already but it was exciting because I have calculated it by myself.

2 more interviews tomorrow 🗣️

🛣️ Drove 350km today
😴 Much sleepy
⏰ Such early wake
🚗💨 Many travel

WOW

Motherfucking website style JavaScript rant ahead.

Just tried to register some travel tickets, at FlixBus. Of course alternatively I could go for a train but those would be more expensive. So yeah.

Turns out that the website loads JavaScript from 20 domains including 3 required CloudFront ones (those are the most annoying because it's not possible to tell by the domain what it would be doing). But alright, I'll take it. Web 3.0 amirite?

So I go and find myself a nice bus, add it to my cart.. oh shit it's the wrong one. Change some parameters, hit return.. well guess what. Turns out that in all their JavaScript glory they couldn't implement that much. Awesome!

Go to another site to get another ticket for my travel back, only to find out that while they couldn't implement return, their webdevs are apparently skilled enough to get a giant boner on blinking "(1) Almost ready!" in the site's title, when changing to another tab and there happens to be stuff in the cart. Do you really think I care about that shit! Don't distract me and let me get my shit done!!!

So, to all you webdevs who would pull something like this and wank on it too. Guess what motherfucker. That purchase got cancelled through the power of JavaScript wank, because there's no way I'm supporting that dystopian junk. Guess what, when people shell out money at your shitty online shop, they may want a quarter-ass decent UX too. And no notifications or any of that wank, you hear me?

But yeah fucking Web 3.0!!! Give me a fucking break.

A group of programmers and marketers were traveling to a trade show on a train. Each of the marketers had bought a ticket, but the programmers had only bought one ticket for the lot of them.

One of the programmers was keeping a lookout, and when the conductor neared their car he called out "The conductor's coming!" and all of the programmers piled into the train's lavatory and closed the door. The conductor took the tickets of all of the marketers, and then knocked on the lavatory door and called "Ticket please." The programmers slid their ticket under the door, and the conductor took it and left.

The programmers were laughing at the marketers for the rest of the trip, and the marketers felt like idiots.

On the way back, the marketers decided they would use the same trick and only bought one ticket for them. But this time, the programmers didn't buy a single ticket! Again, one of the programmers kept a lookout for the conductor. When he called "Conductor coming!" all of the programmers piled into one lavatory, and all of the marketers shut themselves into another lavatory.

One programmer came back out of his lavatory, knocked on the other door, and said "Ticket please!"

Well this is interesting....

You can say what you want but cloud services are awesome. I can literally throw my laptop in a bag, travel to the most beautiful place in the world and work from there.

What code doesn't show you, but allows you to see.

Being asked (or more accurately made!) to travel Mon-Fri (i.e. staying away from home) for at least 2 months to a customer's site to work on a completely insane project that had no design, formal requirements, preparation or support. It was just a "friendly side project" 2 friendly managers concocted.

After some research, the project wasn't actually technically possible, but the customer wanted it so I had to try to find a solution.

The complication for me was that my wife was almost 8 months pregnant with our first kid and I made it clear I really wanted to be at home. Was left to feel I had little choice but to go. Project runs over but damnit I'm taking my 3 weeks parental leave entitlement.

Day before I'm due to go back to work, I get an email saying "You'll be travelling tomorrow for the next few weeks". At that point, I replied with the most angry work email I've ever sent and threatened that if that was the case I wouldn't be back. Plans were changed.

I ended up leaving within a couple of months anyway.

Time-Travel so I don't have to worry about deadlines.

Seriously fuck this place!

For this $200 per month job, i have to work ovetime and no travel allowance and boss begged me to work this sunday too..

Fuck my life

2038 because of integer overflow we can finally start time travel and maybe a few satellites will fall down.

Vodafone, 2019
This is simply ridiculous

"Welcome to The United Arab Emirates. Warning - you have activated your mobile device overseas. Significantly higher charges may apply. While you're here, it will cost up to $20.89/min + 40c connection fee to make calls, $5/min to receive calls, $3.50 to send a TXT and data is charged $51.20/MB. It's free to receive a TXT. (...)."

Not Shure if other carriers are better, but with roaming on this rant would have, probably cost like 10$ :D

Too much? My little travel companion Acer Switch 3.

!Dev

WHY THE FUCK DO I HAVE TO MEET STUPID RELATIVES.

I HAVE NOT MET THEM FROM PAST 5 YEARS AND NOW MY PARENTS ARE FORCING ME TO MEET THEM SAYING THAT YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO MEET THEM FOR QUITE A LONG WHILE (BECAUSE I AM SHIFTING 5000 KM FOR JOB).

NO, I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THEM AND WON'T TRAVEL FOR 6 HRS JUST FOR THEM TO SAY YOU ARE SHY. NO I AIN'T SHY YOU ARE AN IDIOT.

So I hear that there's a chrome extension that blocks United Airline flights on travel sites...

Call me boring but...

Working in a secure job with a great work/life balance, little or no travel, great people, really interesting challenges, earning a tidy salary, contributing to open source, all the while creating something worthwhile and interesting.

I have a few of those already, so can't complain.

Worst experience was my first job after study. They told me at the interview that the job has very low travel activity... "we are doing most of the projects in-house...just traveling to the customer now and then for kick offs or when the software has to be trained"

A half year later I had to travel every fucking week to the customer. Fixing shitty code from a freelancer who never worked in a team, in a language I've never used before (they told me the first day at the customer). Don't get me wrong, I love learning new stuff but this project and architecture was a totally fucked up mess. Flew every monday to the customer (had to get up at 4am monday morning to get the flight) and friday back. Quit the job after living 3 months from a fucking suitcase.

The time I learned loops and I was fascinated by the fact that I could do 100 operations in a few lines. I was hooked.

Hololens development forced me into Visual Studio after spending years doing Unity development with MonoDevelop in MacOS.

Why haven't anyone told me to switch sooner! Thanks to Visual Studio + ReSharper, my brain farts turn into a coherent code almost automatically.

I hate that I need MacOS for the iOS development and Win 10 for Hololens. Running Win 10 on Parallels kinda works, but it is a compromise. Developing without headphones/earplugs is out of the question if you don't want to go deaf.

I wan't all the tools for a single OS so I don't have to maintain multiple computers and even more importantly travel with multiple laptops. Just love the security check question "Do you have any electronics with you? Please put it into the container." - "Could I get a couple more containers, please..."

Interviewed at a pseudo-startup (not quite a startup, but later realized run and organized like one) where the VP of dev ops seemed eager to have me in. I sent him my code sample and he said he'd schedule an onsite. Weeks went by without a peep.

Being persistent, I kept emailing, figuring the environment still might be worth the apparent lack of interest... Eventually the dude told me he'd been away on "travel" and he didn't check his mail. He said come on by if I was still interested...

I went in and met with a couple people on the team, interviewed (I think) well and he said he'd be in touch. Another two weeks -- nothing. I emailed again, he said they hadn't reached a decision. By this time, I'd pretty much written it off. I never heard anything back. No good, no bad.

Moral of the story, don't waste your time on anyone who doesn't respect it enough to give you theirs.

It was a long flight but he just flapped right along! Good job my guy! Time to relax on the beach and enjoy the water!

1) buy devrant stickers.
2) travel.
3) put stickers on checked bags. One on every side would be preferable.
4) easily find bags when arriving to destination as devrant stickers will make them stand out.

Enjoy.

A new producer started to pick up where the previous guy had rage quit. He looked at our sprint plan and announced it.

"According to this schedule, by these estimates, to hit our goal we have to somehow all work 27 hours a day, 7 days a week, for the next month."

Guys do i need to travel outside of country when i want to apply for next Google summenr of code ? and how does it work ?

When this book was written, Windows XP was the lastest OS.

I am still reading from this book in 2017.

FML.

One day after the release of the website of a medium sized travel company, I made a big mistake by accidentally taking it offline for 1 hour during peak usage (~150 simultaneous visitors).
Turns out deleting the wrong image transformation cache folder in production can hang up the PHP process for taking too much load on regenerating image transformations.

The designer of PHP probably took a big load too while creating the first draft.

Map that shows you how far you can travel within a certain time.

I have been watching the latest episode of 12 monkeys and it seems that in the year 2043 they are still using C programming language to code sophisticated time travel thingy. I guess I don't have to worry we'll be replaced by AI.

Want to travel to the future? Release on a Friday. You'll be experiencing your weekend as if it were Monday.

story time

I'm a C++ programmer and they have given me CSS, Javascript, Java, PHP and C# vacancies.. because I'm a programmer and they think I can do the rest.. YES I can.. NO i don't want to

One day I was invited at the recruitment office. had a talk for like 30 minutes.. where after they said yeah we have a game dev company for you.. then they said which one... Yes that Is indeed in this city... their SALES division not their DEV devision!

One day I came to a recruitment office 30min travel time.. and in the conversation it was me who talked about 30 minutes that recruiters don't understand the difference between javascript and C++. .. they asked me If I knew MySql.. for a backend job..

How can recruiters be THIS stupid.

So, these are the new travel card readers in Helsinki Finland
To me it looks like Android tablet crammed in a blue box
And this one seems to be on bootloop

Getting a tour today at my new job (non-dev related, just pays the bills). it's quite a travel AND RIGHT ON THIS FUCKING DAY THE PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION PLANNER IS GIVING 500 ERRORS. FUCKING FUCK FML.

I attended a 2-days scientific conference last week which lasted from 9 AM-7 PM.
I submit my travel expenses today and the university adm got guts to tell me that
I should commute 6 hours everyday to that place instead of staying in a hotel.

Please people, I contribute making our research and name renown to the public. I don't even get paid doing that (did it for the sake of experience).
The least you can do is to support the accomodation. The penny pinching you did in the name of cost saving is embarrasing.

I didn't like every hour spent working in the uni, yet people still ask me why I won't continue to PhD.
No offence to all PhDs out there. It's just that my practical and money-oriented ass couldn't
stand all the free work I have to do if I do that.
I'd rather work in a supermarket, at least I'm getting paid of what I'm worth.
😕

Great opportunities now as per Managers:

* Develop a chat system like Zoom
* Develop anti-virus for Coronavirus
* Develop time travel machine to stop Coronavirus at the point it started

Well... I don't have recess in my work, but one of my clients went to the beach with his family. So that's the perfect excuse to travel with my wife and disconnect of everything.

Got to love that feeling!

WTF, timezones...

How is gmt+12 2018-04-19 02:00

But gmt-12 is 2018-04-20 02:00...

Here in gmt+1 the 20th starts one hour earlier than in gmt..

Time travel? Relativity? Rick? Illuminati?

I‘m confused..

Windows: would you like to update?
Me: no not rn I'm currently on battery and traveling, let me just quickly restart.
Windows: Okay I'll install the latest updates for you.
Me: oh FFS

My biggest distraction: Working at home. I have a student job at my university and work at home. Just visit my boss every other week to show him the results.
So I always thought it's amazing to work at home. No need to travel to the work space, I can arrange my time as I like, noone's constantly watching what I'm doing.
Sounds great, right? Yeah it is, but is it productive? Lol no.

I'm getting distracted by everything. New mail about some kickstarter stuff, one hour wasted. "Can you help me with that computer problem?" Yeah sure. "Wanna play some League of Legends with us?" Sure, but just one round, I need to work. Ten rounds later I wrote like three lines of code.

I could ignore all that stuff, but I'm at home and can do whatever I want, right?
Results in me working through all night, because then there's noone to distract me.

True Shit!!!

Apple... Isn't it obvious?

They once built machines and software that were tested and ready for customers but they went into a direction where saving money and generating more income has the highest priority.
The more recent the version (hard- and software) the more unstable it became. On top of that the crap they produce gets more expensive each iteration. I do own a 2015 MB Pro, that's it. I used to own:
- iPhone X
- MB Pro 2017
- Apple Watch
- Apple TV
- iPad Pro
... All at the same time ... But I sold everything and switched (back) to Android and Linux and no tablet at all. The MB Pro I own is just my travel notebook because of battery life.
I'm very disappointed of Apple's strategical direction and that's why I'm boycotting it as good as I can.

Do We All See the Man Holding an iPhone in This 1937 Painting?

"Mr. Pynchon and the Settling of Springfield" by Umberto Romano

1) Build a time machine
2) travel to week 0
3) tell people that they end up accomplishing nothing

Agreed on an offer from company X... Told them I'd sign the contract on my first working day, still a week away.

The offer had a lower salary than my previous job, I needed to relocate, and travel costs were not covered. It was a step back for me but I really needed a new job.

After the weekend I got an invitation for another interview... All went well and the perks were better than the offer made by company X.

Next day I had the second interview and they were very excited and offered me a contract.

Contract came in on friday, signed it and called company X that I'd like to reject the position after reconsidering my options...

Boy were they pissed off 😂

import time
time.travel('now-10 years')
self.slap()
time.travel('now+10 years')

Does anyone know how to get the travel method working?

We've worked 5 months to decompose a complex and huge monolith into microservices, deployed in prod with zero defects. And finally moving to AWS, one by one.
How can i explain this work to bunch of 5 year olds? i.e. i've to present this to top level management with no tech knowledge.

I'm thinking of: Lets say a family of 6 people want to travel for 30 holidays to another country. A monolith can be equivalent to having everyone's luggage in huge bag, microservices can be packing luggage in sizable chunks acceptable by airlines.

I'm bad at explaining, can someone help with better example?

So last week I ranted about the hours I was working, great start this week I'm up at 03:00 to go up north, not going to get back till 20:00 ish. Tomorrow I have to be in Wales for 09:00 so going to have to be up at 04:00 for a 5 hour travel time. Check my emails and my boss says after I get back from Wales tomorrow can we have a design and specification meeting about a "super urgent" product that we have to develop. Oh and Thursday I have to prep everything for going live with a new product Friday.

I'm so fucking depressed. I've get 100/100 and 96/100 in the lastest exams but I can't keep going to the university because I don't have money to travel from my home to the building. I have to throw away my career and knowledge. I don't find a job in this fucking country.
Sorry for boring you with my shit, I had to write it.

Why does google do this? It's supposed to be a map, not a fucking travel guide, I want to see the motherfucking map that it so ironically calls itself
Swallow a Collins road atlas whole you fucking impostor.

Sometimes I get so frustrated seeing my old code, I wanna travel back in time and slap myself!

First day of new year, first day of relaxing until my new job starts .. Plan to travel and not code for awhile!

“Someone is eventually going to build a JavaScript compiler that output machine code, which will lead to an apocalypse and the death of everything you know and love when all JS code mysteriously stops working in the year 2048.

You need to stop that person from being born. I'm forwarding the details now.

Good luck,
-- Future you”

I need a name for a new app.

It's a spur of the moment travel app that lets you select the temp and humidity ranges you want and finds you the cheapest flights.

Dazzle me please.

I made a game in just one week. All you could do was walking to the right and travel in a boat and hot air balloon and you played as a small square.

Nothing special, but it got a total of 70 downloads and someone wrote an article about it, and someone else made a YT video about it.

Right now I am working on something bigger and I still don't understand why it got the attention it got.

Going on a trip in the middle east in less than 48 hours. Not gonna take my laptop. Can't risk losing it. Most likely will be offline for over a week.

Excited to see the pyramids and the holy sites. I wonder if seeing those holy sites for real would make me religious. 🤔

Most importantly, hope to be back in one piece🤞🏻

So I titan Lannister, first of my name, a 21 yr old only child of super extra over protective middle class parents; with 0 social interaction and level 1000 introvert geeky nature, has made up my mind and gathered courage to go on a 3 day event in another state , with no known persons there or by my side, completely on my own.

I am excited as well as hell of scared. I always wanted to teavel places and meet people, but don't had courage to talk to even my coworker girl on the opposite table, leave alone meeting ppl or going out.

Please share your first time alone journey stories , or anything else that i should be aware of

A program that generates a nice amout of money to travel the world and organize the stuff back home.

Superpower?
Be able to physicaly travel through THE internet

!rant

Certainly considering handing in my notice soon.

1. Paid minimum wage with no prospect of a raise
2. Spending £200 a month on travel
3. Traveling for almost 4 hours (70 miles) a day on bus and train
4. Promised training but nothing produced for 8 months
5. Expected to now pay for further travel
6. Not taken seriously...

Yep, need a new job in the Birmingham, UK area

Bonjour Paris

I just noticed visualizing git is like a timeline with alternate realities and a lot of time travel. The main branch is the main timeline and the branches are like fixes from the past to try and make the future better they merge when the future is fixed otherwise if someone or something fucked up time traveling it becomes the main timeline.

Oh so your deadline is Wednesday and you will travel on Thursday? Let's have a full day meeting on Monday... WELL FUCK YOU TOO!!!

Time travel is real ...reading magazines of the future today ..thanks to JIO

Time Travel.

Go and steal great ideas, computers, mobile devices, software etc from the future.
Then sell it for a shitton of money in the 90's

I never travel by bus, now I have to. I know why I'm never do it again... 😂

My "travel jar", where I usually store boarding passes, tickets and memories from my journeys...

Find a well paid remote job and travel while coding

We have a Monday meeting at 07:30. Yes, I have to BE at work at 07:30.

Now, my boss knows full well that I have to fight through traffic every single fucking day and also that I travel for on average just over an hour. Some days we're looking at closer to 2 hours!

And, without fail, the meeting will start at 07:30 with or without me. There are days that I catch the arse end of the meeting (like today) or other days were I miss the meeting altogether.

I'm done with this company in any case and am currently looking for alternative employment. And I'm also done with going to these people and talking about this!

One of the best days ever.

I was slouching on the couch while on sick leave daydreaming about the time I would reach at least half the point where I can travel for a year without working. I checked my portfolio and found that two of the stocks I bought are earning me some money, one of them gives me my daily wage when I was still a junior developer which is not so bad, I just started with this shit less than a month ago.

I was gonna fund my account so I can check other stocks and buy more then I checked my balance, woopsie daisy, holy moly, I received double the money I should be getting for this pay period. I checked my payslip and it says "Income Tax Withheld".

Okaaay. This is just the motivation I need. I'm gonna develop something out of this. Thank you, Lord Satan. You always listen to my dreams.

Call me when covid-19 gets this bad:
From April 12, 2009 to April 10, 2010, CDC estimated there were 60.8 million cases (range: 43.3-89.3 million), 274,304 hospitalizations (range: 195,086-402,719), and 12,469 deaths (range: 8868-18,306) in the United States due to the (H1N1)pdm09 virus. Yet almost no media coverage. The "woke" people were in charge then.

Until then media outlets, STFU...
When all is said and done the media will be guilty of wielding weapons of misdirection. The disgustingness of people willing to use this outbreak as a way for political gain is abominable.

At my work?:
People have not been able to travel so that has been annoying.

Oh for fucks sake, I only agreed to fix one fucking problem in your shit hole of a wordpress hell, not everything your sorry excuse of a "wordpress expert" fucked up.

We need time travel asap!

I can do time travel 😁😁😁

Best: Attended WWDC, got a few personal apps on the App Store!

Worst: having to travel across the country because a raid disk was full, so no info was written to the db's.

How many languages do you speak?

So, I put forward to the recruiter that my T&Cs are that I would like to work from home for a minimum of 3 days per week due to the travel time and traffic involved, and that the recruiter should put that forward to their client.

The recruiter received this in response...

"We would be open to looking at flexitime. In terms of days at the office, we would be need him to come to the office three to four days a week as communication is challenging when we have people working from home."

Have they never heard of Slack or Skype... or the Internet? Or am I missing something?

If you could travel back in time and give your young dev-self advice, what advice would you give?

Found this beautiful piece of code, that I wrote apparently a year ago .... oh my 😂 🤦‍♂ 😅
If I could travel back in time, I would would slap myself for doing this. Although I remember, why I did this, because of many min()/max() operations that I needed. I wanted to keep the code, so that I would know, which code piece belonged to which part, but man ... is that badly written! Nowadays with Clean Code style, I would certainly do it differently.

Time travel. Because i can see the errors i willhave before even writong the code. And...(tou will see it in week 56)

It sucks having to revert 2 days worth of commits all for some issue that I can't independently confirm actually exists. Site owner has panicked and wants to hit Ctrl-Z back 7 commits. There goes two days of my life I'll never get back.

Migration in progress (long one, lasting over a month)

PM: Let's schedule a meeting to discuss migration progress

PM: Let's schedule a meeting to agree on what should we test

PM: Let's schedule a meeting to get specs of the new infra

Seriously, PMs. One 1 hour long meeting costs at least 4 hours of productive time (1 hour for travel, 1 hour for the meeting, 1+ hour for preparing for the meeting, 1+ hour for post-meeting discussions). And more often than not all meetings end with "We will come back to you later in regards to <some question not answered during meeting>" and it always means "we'll continue this chat via emails"

Why can't you first ask "do we need a meeting or can we sort this out via email?" ??? Or are you intentionally wasting everyone's time?

This is easy. Irl fork and acquire commands to let me reposess the knowledge of my children.
Things i can do while playing games:
0: work
1: sleep
2: eat
3: sex
4: workout
5: travel the world
6: troll my ex
7: read every post on DevRant

-1 seconds ago. I posted in the future!

Contracting:

Con - It can be hella stressful and last minute, especially when contracts and agencies are a real pain.

Con - finding out you’re probably gonna need to go to site at like 11PM the day before, and train tickets are a fucking scam

Pro - Sitting in first class with a complimentary croissant and orange juice isn’t so bad.

Pro - Being able to finally travel to an Apple Store to get that MacBook you’ve been eying for a while because now you actually have to travel. 👀

so if they ship it today, it'll be delivered yesterday?
sorry i cannot time-travel (yet) :/

The company did this thing where you have to submit a form asking for your temperature and other information. You have to answer it everyday and my manager said we should answer it before our shift starts so the fuckers would be able to extract all the data. I didn't follow this, of course. The most I'm willing to do is answer it as soon as my shift starts, not before my shift starts because fuck that.

You may say, "Oh well it would only take a few minutes." BUT THAT'S HOW IT ALL BEGINS, DOESN'T IT? Soon you'll be working overtime without even realizing it.

Anyway, the form has a lot of dumbass questions like "Did you travel outside the country in the last 14 days?" There's a travel ban for months now, bitch. Why is this even a question? Then there are the fields for full name, email address, and employee ID. All of this shit and more, you gotta fill up every day. It makes no fucking sense.

How hard is it that when we click the link to this form, we get authenticated since we're already logged in to the company website? If it's too hard, sure, let us login again. I have low expectations. All of the information you ask for every fucking day that we have to submit before the shift starts, you can easily derive from your own database. I highly doubt you're even gonna use any of this.

Nothing makes any fucking sense.

!rant

I know it's not that impressive in the dev world, but I'm finally making six figures (the lowest six figure value possible but STILL) and I can't really brag to my friends about dollar amounts so HURRAH. Accepted the offer yesterday, and I'm quite pleased about it.

Annoyed that it took so long (I'm 29), but I did have a two year long career break for a family medical issue/travel/quarter life crisis, so so it goes.

PM asked me to develop an application to fetch data from the customer's DB, which would require an access security token provided by the customer. To get the token, I would have to travel to Germany (I live in Portugal) to get it personally (it's not possible to have someone else pick it up for me).

It turns out the security token is a completely closed environment, with its own OS, without the possibility of installing any application or communicating with the exterior. The laptop itself would boot from the token's OS.

It was concluded I would have to hack the security token, which is completely non compliant. So the PM decided not to go forward with it.

But now, I have to go Germany anyway to pick up the security tokens because they forgot to order them for these other guys who would be using them to access the customer's DB manually and they don't want to delay the project anymore.

Oh, and the security tokens cost the project 500€/month each...

People who take 2 places on a busy busride deserve to moved to the toilet.

Rude, selfless scum, go sleep with the shit of other people instead of making my life harder. I've been traveling for 16 hours. There's still 8 hours left and I would like to sleep, recharge my phone and that next to my traveling companion... But you egoistic creatures just have to be a fucking waste of space. To me you are almost the lowest trash of society.

I should simply sit down on your worthless gadgets.
I should simply smash your feet with my luggage.
I should simply remove you from the history of this planet

EAT FUCKING SHIT AND DIE

Edit: can't even do math anymore. I have 10 hours of travel left

Happy Christmas to you, your Family and Friends!

Take rest, eat well, go to places you like, meet people who you like and who like you, travel to nearby places, learn a coding thing or two, listen to music or watch your favourite movie/TV show. Just do what you want to do. Have fun and make it memorable! :-)

Best career decision:
Doing many different jobs before programming, move to capital city to pursue first software development job without money, college degree, place to stay and plans for future.

Worst career choice:
Probably would be staying in Poland despite many opportunities to travel around the world, earn big money or work on really cool things as software developer but I won’t know until I die.

!dev
I got so wasted yesterday and met person from Italy who was traveling from Bologna to Milan with stop in Warsaw because it was cheaper.
I checked today and it’s actually cheaper to travel inside Italy when switching plane in other countries.

I got travel advertisments on my Windows 10 lock screen. I didn't remember how to get rid of them, so I had to search for it again. I was lead to this piece of fine irony on my screen.

Staring at it felt like staring at the concept of art while it's staring back. This experience left me emotional.

Thank you Microsoft and Windows Central. Thank you art, life, and love. Thank you ads.

My duck is going to be flying alongside a plane to the Cayman Islands!!

time travel is when Monday ruins Sunday

😡 you have to travel for work and the hotel wants $14.95/day for 1.5 down

Does anyone know if it is possible for a recent graduate to get a remote job? Want to work and travel on the way.

Amazon got time travel now?

To have a 6-hour 5-day (at max, for any reason) software job to sustain myself, leaving me enough time to enjoy life, exercise, travel at times, and create personally or with my programmer friends challenging and innovative projects, regardless of whether they are going to be monetized later or become open source.

Protip: proposing a "simple yet beautiful" login form on Bootsnip with absolutely no knowledge of Bootstrap whatsoever, making it not responsive and centering it with hardwritten margins (such as: 'margin-left: 170px'), AND THEN proudly display "theme developed by WhoGives AShit" at the bottom won't make you any publicity at best. At worst, I'm gonna travel to India and won't leave before I erased the code you wrote by smashing your face on the "erase" key.

Time travel

Less stressful days from now on! Thanks guys! It took only 1 month and 5 days to them to travel from New York to Central Finland, but all worth it.

!dev && random == true

Venus (top), Jupiter (bottom). There's a star (Antares) there to make it triangle but the star is dim to get caught by my crappy phone camera.

I've always fascinated by the night sky. Nevermind the mission to travel to Mars, the only matters now is how beautiful the night sky is but a lot of us don't get access to it because of light pollution. It's kinda sad that I need to go outside of the cities to see more of what the sky has to offer. I really wish everyone can see and appreciate it once in a while.

Visited the post office today. Who said time travel is not possible?

TL;DR: intel stripped the hosted network function from the drivers for my wifi chip. Older versions can still so it

Every month I travel by bandbus to neighbouring countries for a show.
This usually takes 7+ hours.

So i have my laptop with me and if my brother is along as well, we game in the bus.

Using a cable for internet connection isnt handy, since we sit on opposite sides of the bus. So i looked up if I can use a hosted wifi network for this.

We both checked out our drivers and both said no hosted network support.
And some posts on the internet said that customer support told them that the chip can't do it

But thats weird. My laptop is high end. So I searched a little only to find out that I can do a hosted wifi network if I DOWNGRADE my drivers.....

Fuck you intel. Fuck you hard for stripping that function from the drivers

Worst interview, had to travel half a day, tired already and got grilled on how to debug a overloaded complex network schematic and no additional information, just told that traffic was being dropped. I'm not a network engineer and had no clue where to even start. Manager had mixed papers and thought I was interviewing for a senior position. I was fresh from uni.

Hello, brilliant minds!

I am participating in a hackathon based on web development and I need to submit potential problem statements for the same. They have some predetermined domains, but I am unable to look for a suitable problem. The domains are:

1. eCommerce
2. eGovernance: Smart City
3. Fitness
4. Social Innovation
5. Tool/Library/Extension for devs
6. Travel
7. Women's safety

I will have 6 hours to code. Please suggest some of your best ideas. Thanks in advance!

Love,
TheSlug

I would like to have a cat about the house. But I live alone, travel intermittently, don't have a cat-friendly environment etc. etc.

I am resigned to dying petless.

Imagine life as a Game,
Levels are Ages, if you have gotten older your level increases, and lifes getting easier and harder, easier with Knowledge and harder because of Diseases, challenges, kids etc...
Quests are life goals, such as having kids,
having a job, a family etc...
Side-Quests are jobs your getting from your boss, Jobs from Clients, Helping the Family, Cleaning your Room, etc..
Fast-Travel is Cars, Busses, Trains, Trams, etc... (Except in Germany)
and Last but not least,
Procastination, The End Boss of life, if you defeat Procastination you have beaten life... (But also died because the game is Over...)

Fuck the storm, fuck the trains, fuck the distance I have travel, fuck coming to an extra course I'm taking on time, fuck today

I have a client, travel agency, asked me to improve/fix their booking website and half way through the development I noticed one travel agency is using curl to access the database. I decided to fix the database schema as quick as possible and the next day that travel agency confessed that they were accessing the database via curl and the reason they confessed was that they couldn't catch up when I was fixing the database.

I decided to give them an API Key (with the permission of my client of course) and things are looking well. Except for the developer who was pissed at me for trolling them.

I always dreamed to live in USA. Waking at the morning and see those huge buildings, eating pancakes while I cover myself from the cold. For a while I forgot this my old dream of travel from my Portuguese home to somewhere on Texas or California. Since I am in my last year of university, after being student worker and after 6years being graphic designer and 3 them as full stack developer, I trully believe in doing this...

What are your new years resolutionsfor next year devranters?
Mine is:
-continue workout to get more fit
-succed with my projects
-travel atleast one time this year outside home country

Last week someone from a clients IT mailed me saying some user needed setting up in the software we develop. There was a flurry of emails from the person, the persons boss, their IT, etc. I sent instructions to the IT person explaining how to create users. Next day another flurry of emails asking if I created the user or not. Seems like they cant follow instructions so I went in and created the user for them then didn't think anything more of it.

Then last night I binged watched many episodes of this TV series 12 monkeys which is all about time traveling. Anyway in this morning I get into the office and there are all these emails from this same person, from last week, also emails from their boss and their IT people again all asking how this same person can be set up as a user. I had to quietly just ask one of the other developers "what day is it?" just in case..

The programmer is seated behind the piano.
He then looks at the piano keyboard and explains:
'The keys are quite uncomfortable, the distance from the up and down is very long...'
But it's awesome that the shift can be pushed by the leg.

Greetings from Estonia

Our local travel app went super geeky.

For an "Ad" this is probably really bad because the general public wouldn't even bother checking the binary. + nothing actually happened when I opened the notification. 🙄

What i can do in the airplane...

Read books
Listen to music
Sleep
See outside the window
Make some programs
Drink water
Play card games

Anything else?
Note: the plane i am rodong doesnt have anything interesting in ife, only airshow

My dad bought a 4k RokuTV and I set it up. We just spent the night using YouTube as the Travel Channel.

What else can I do that I can't do on PC/normal TV?

I'm actually getting so fucked off with having to travel to work to the point that I an on the brink of rage quitting and only taking something where it is agreed to and understood about me working from home, no questions asked!