That's a great bug

Hired a new backend Dev. He writes a script and sends it for testing...
Tester: "It's not working..."
Backend Dev: Goes to Mongo and deletes the tester's whole profile...

I cant control my laughter every time I remember this incident...He claimed it was a mistake, I don't think that it was a mistake...the tester had it coming...
"It's not working" that's all he says every time...I mean at least give me something to start with...!

Change some feature, no one cares.
Change the logo, everyone looses their mind

I actually lent a girl an umbrella yesterday which takes the total number of girls I've made wet this year to -1.

Waiting to see if anyone notices

Sleeplessness !

I 😍 non-ascii characters, how about u?

That pain

"I will go to sleep after i fix this bug" 10min later I look outside, North Korea and the USA are fighting a nuclear war, russia invaded europe, hitler rose from the death and there's even more javascript frameworks

Interview went well until i asked my questions about them.

"Are pet-projects a thing in your company"
... no.

"Can i attend programming gigs in a workweek, and are they paid by the company"
... no, no

"Any restrictions on the IDE"
... yes we only allow visual studio
"Wait, frontend web development in vs?"
... yes

"Do you develop in other languages then JavaScript"
... only Java

I calmly stood up, told them "I dont think that the company and I are a good fit. Thanks for your time."

Me brute forcing into the appartment (where i rent my room) modem:

*tries all most easy/logical combinations*

Nope.

*tries more difficult ones*

Nope.

*hmm.... no please not both just blank....... 😷*

Admin access granted.

😩

(Years ago)

Me: I just found out, "Co-worker X" is making 15% more than me, despite him being a shitty developer and putting us 2 weeks behind schedule? Not fair. I did about 70% of the work on this project. I want a raise of 30% to make me feel appreciated at least.

Boss: Well, unlike you, he's already finished college and has a degree in software engineering. It's a company thing to base salaries on educational attainment.

Me: I have two weeks left on my contract, after that I'm gone. I hope his degree will help you meet the deadline.

* Product was delivered two months late, buggy as hell and the company faced penalties and other crap.

> finds awesome software
> finishes trial period
> looks at pricing
> looks at bank account
> cries in a corner

Code comments be like....

Wait... Why didn't anyone thought about that?

When you get a little confused

I hope they know what they're doing!

When you prove its a hardware probelm

7/4/2018

I can never read this date properly

Is this 7th april
Or is this 4th july????

Fuck your american date format

Interviewer: what leadership experience do you have

Me: 3 years experience in an administration position

Interviewer: Good, where?

Me: in a WhatsApp group