Me all the time

Programming Languages are Like Cars:

Assembler: A formula I race car. Very fast but difficult to drive and maintain.

FORTRAN II: A Model T Ford. Once it was the king of the road.

FORTRAN IV: A Model A Ford.

FORTRAN 77: a six-cylinder Ford Fairlane with standard transmission and no seat belts.

COBOL: A delivery van. It's bulky and ugly but it does the work.

BASIC: A second-hand Rambler with a rebuilt engine and patched upholstery. Your dad bought it for you to learn to drive. You'll ditch it as soon as you can afford a new one.

PL/I: A Cadillac convertible with automatic transmission, a two-tone paint job, white-wall tires, chrome exhaust pipes, and fuzzy dice hanging in the windshield.

C++: A black Firebird, the all macho car. Comes with optional seatbelt (lint) and optional fuzz buster (escape to assembler).

ALGOL 60: An Austin Mini. Boy that's a small car.

ALGOL 68: An Aston Martin. An impressive car but not just anyone can drive it.

Pascal: A Volkswagon Beetle. It's small but sturdy. Was once popular with intellectual types.

liSP: An electric car. It's simple but slow. Seat belts are not available.

PROLOG/LUCID: Prototype concept cars.

FORTH: A go-cart.

LOGO: A kiddie's replica of a Rolls Royce. Comes with a real engine and a working horn.

APL: A double-decker bus. It takes rows and columns of passengers to the same place all at the same time but it drives only in reverse and is instrumented in Greek.
Ada: An army-green Mercedes-Benz staff car. Power steering, power brakes, and automatic transmission are standard. No other colors or options are available. If it's good enough for generals, it's good enough for you.

Java: All-terrain very slow vehicle.

Client sends me their "about us" page in an image (second time they've done this after I've asked for text versions). Do you hate me or are you just a fucking moron. You don't write a book in an image. You don't send emails in an image. No you send it in fucking text. 😤

I just gave a successful demo to the CEO and CTO of a company I'm doing some contract work for. The questions they were asking led to me going off script, luckily it all worked!

Hello everyone I am Austin. I program mainly in python but i knowledge in c++, java, css, html, and javascript

The cleaning lady

Yeah, I should not be at work this late, but it happenes from time to time..
Anyhow, she still doesn't know where the switches for each light are, so whenever she comes, lights start to flicker on off on off... Yeah, lightshow baby!! //read this in austin powers voice
I fear for people with epilepsy.. Yeah, I get it, push and toggle switches are mixed in pannel, but we do have a schema for each of them..ofc she doesn't use it..

And every goddamn time if I work later than when she leaves, she disturbes me to ask if I will turn off the lights when I leave.. NOoOooo, I will leave them on like an asshole.. :/ I once even wrote on the whiteboard in bigg letters 'yes, I will turn of the lights when I leave' and left it there for some days... coworkers were all puzzled/amused when they saw it.. //I know, shitty attitude on my part too, but I've repeated myself a dozen times already.. + I always turn off lights she actually manages to switch on and leave them like that, even the ones not in my part of office

And when she vacuums..well.. I usually get up and go on a cigarette break to give her space so she can do her job around my desk.. but she insists that I am not in her way and I don't need to leave... Well I prefer not to be proded and poked with the hose, thank you..

So yeah, fun times... O.o especially if working late due to some production fuckups I need to fix ASAP.. :/

Who do you vote?

MKBHD
Austin Evans
TLDToday
Unbox therapy
Linus Tech tips

That one guy in the office that doesn't understand the meaning of personal space 😓

When you're at the till ordering a plain coffee and the barista SIGHS and ROLLS THEIR EYES at you. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? That's you're damn job, don't fucking do that. That's the only reason you're here!!!

Just wanted to share with you something that happened today.

So I was looking to buy a flight ticket from Austin to Chicago. I looked at the price and it was about 360$ so I thought I will just fly to Milwaukee and use the train to Chicago. I found a flight to Milwaukee for 140$ with 1 stop at Chicago. 😂😂😂

Bye bye Austin and South by Southwest

Fartin' around with Godeps and having difficulties, but things aren't nearly as annoying when you are able to work from anywhere while drinking craft beer :^)

When you reply to an issue, and either:

a) no one replies, then you get asked about it days or weeks later

b) they completely ignore it and ask why it's not done

Get a better job and move out to Austin, TX; the next step towards my goal of one day starting my own company!

when a coworker doesnt acknowledge what u said , and proceeds to tell you what u just said right back 5 minutes later.

When you finally fix that bug

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As a freelance artist based just outside of Austin, I had always relied on platforms like Upwork to sell my work and connect with clients. So when I first heard about NFTs, I was intrigued by the idea of using blockchain technology to sell my art and reach new buyers. It seemed like the perfect way to break free from the limitations of traditional platforms and finally make my digital creations more profitable. I came across what appeared to be a reputable NFT marketplace. The platform had a flashy interface and showcased prominent artists, while the online art community buzzed with excitement around it. This validation gave me the confidence to dive in. I spent weeks creating a new series of digital artworks, pouring my heart and soul into them, and then minted them as NFTs on this platform. The fees associated with minting were steep around $20,000 but I believed the potential returns would more than justify the investment. With my NFTs listed, I eagerly promoted them on social media, leveraging my experience from Upwork to engage potential buyers. I received a couple of bids, which filled me with optimism. It felt like everything was finally coming together. But that excitement quickly turned into confusion and frustration when I tried to withdraw the funds from the bids. Instead of receiving my earnings, the platform displayed an error message. When I reached out to their support team, they requested additional payments to "process my withdrawal." At first, the fees seemed minor, but then they escalated, with new demands for payment popping up regularly. The requests quickly spiraled into an endless loop. Days turned into weeks, and my hopes of seeing any return on my investment faded. It dawned on me that I had been scammed. The platform was a fake, and the supposed big-name artists likely part of an elaborate scheme to lure in unsuspecting creators like me. I was devastated both financially and emotionally and felt too embarrassed to tell anyone. I feared people would think I had been reckless or gullible. After confiding in a close friend, I felt a sense of relief. She suggested I reach out to Digital Tech Guard Recovery, a service that specializes in tracking down stolen digital assets and helping people who have fallen victim to online scams. Desperate, I contacted them, and to my surprise, they were able to recover my funds. The experience taught me a hard lesson, but it also gave me hope that not all was lost. It reminded me that even in moments of vulnerability, reaching out for help can lead to unexpected solutions.

Early 2025, I resided in the vibrant city of Austin, Texas, where the burgeoning tech landscape had ignited my interest in cryptocurrency investment. After years of diligent work as a software engineer, I had amassed $45,700 from my salary and a lucrative side venture developing mobile applications. Eager to secure my financial future, I was enthusiastic about exploring investment opportunities in the crypto market. One fateful day, while perusing online, I encountered a seemingly legitimate investment platform that promised extraordinary returns on cryptocurrency investments. The website was impeccably designed, and the testimonials from purportedly satisfied investors appeared authentic. Fueled by confidence, I made the impulsive decision to invest my entire savings, convinced I was embarking on a prudent financial endeavor my exhilaration swiftly morphed into despair when I attempted to withdraw my initial investment. The website became unresponsive, and my inquiries to customer support were met with silence. It soon became painfully evident that I had fallen victim to a sophisticated scam. Desperate to reclaim my funds, I embarked on a quest to investigate the scammer's identity and track down the elusive website. I made the regrettable choice to invest an additional $10,000 in Bitcoin, hoping to enlist a private investigator to assist in tracing the scammer. Unfortunately, this only led to further frustration and loss, as I realized I was entangled with a well-organized criminal enterprise that had expertly concealed its tracks. Feeling utterly defeated, I stumbled upon an article that extolled the virtues of CRANIX ETHICAL SOLUTIONS HAVEN, a group of ethical hackers renowned for their prowess in recovering lost funds from online scams. Skeptical yet hopeful, I decided to reach out to them. Their website exuded professionalism, and the testimonials from previous clients were compelling. Upon contacting CRANIX ETHICAL SOLUTIONS HAVEN, I was assigned a dedicated recovery specialist who meticulously guided me through the process. They conducted a comprehensive investigation into the scam, employing advanced techniques to trace the funds and gather irrefutable evidence against the perpetrators. Within a few weeks, I was astounded to learn that they had successfully recovered approximately 93.5% of my lost investment. Not only did CRANIX ETHICAL SOLUTIONS HAVEN facilitate the recovery of a substantial portion of my funds, but they also took decisive action against the scammer's website, leading to its takedown. The authorities were notified, and the scammers were apprehended, restoring a sense of justice to the situation. with CRANIX ETHICAL SOLUTIONS HAVEN was nothing short of transformative. They provided the expertise and unwavering support I desperately needed during a tumultuous time. If anyone finds themselves in a similar scam, reach out to CRANIX ETHICAL SOLUTIONS HAVEN for assistance in recovering your lost funds.
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