Requirements vs Delivery - Guide to Programming
This one is a killer and I've received it in multiple forwards in office email, and we always have a good laugh seeing this joke.

Client: “Our next requirement, and this is something big you know, we need an elephant”
IT Team: But why don’t you adjust with a buffalo, even it is big…. and black?”

Client: No, we need an elephant only, let me explain our current process……” (client explains for an hour)
IT Team: Fine, I understand your requirement. But our system supports only a buffalo…

Client:We need only an elephant!
IT Team: Ok, let me see if I can customize it for you”

Requirements are taken as follows:
Client wants a big black four legged animal, long tail, less hair. Having trunk is mandatory. The same was documented, signed off and sent to offshore for development!

At the Offshore Development Centre,

Design/Development – Based on requirement all features are supported in base product (as buffalo), for trunk alone a separate customization is done.

Finally the customization is shown to client:

!Rant But after seeing this I laughed like hell I need to share this to all my dev folks.

Client: “Our next requirement, we need an elephant”
IT Team: But why don’t you adjust with a buffalo, even it is big…. and black?”

Client: No, we need an elephant only.
IT Team: Fine, I understand your requirement. But our system supports only a buffalo…

Client:We need only an elephant!
IT Team: Ok, let me see if I can customize it for you”

At the Offshore Development Centre :
BA – Client wants a big black four legged animal, long tail, less hair. Having trunk is mandatory. The same was documented, signed off and sent to offshore for development! Based on requirement all features are supported in base product (as buffalo), for trunk alone a separate customization is done.

Finally the customization is shown to client, and the client faints

Addon to this, testers completed their test case as above

My software is safe from buffalo overflow. What about yours? Is it safe from hip overflow too?

I just made the world a little cleaner by not opting for veal today. Instead they are selling insect burgers in Germany and I had two of them.

They are made from buffalo worms, feeded and grown in Germany. No antibiotics. Almost no wasted corn or wheat.

Taste: like a veggie pattie with nuts and seeds. Texture is surprisingly "smooth".

Quite expensive at the moment, but I'll go for it again (€5 for two patties).

Would you try them?

!rant
I don't have a duck, but I got this toy buffalo during the Orientation Program at my university for correctly stating that the inventor of BitTorrent, Bram Cohen, had studied in the University at Buffalo.

Fun stuff from the few most recent pages in Dwarf Fortress bug tracker:

Human civilization's soldier is an Alligator Recruit.

Dead suspects confess to crimes

Crash due to zero-size weasel

Pets and other animals from retired fortresses appear as selectable 'workers' in request screen, die of old age on arrival

Some animal people have extra fingers

People dying twice?
Most confusingly, one necromancer shows as having died from old age twice, despite this not being possible.

My Nature Hating Adventurer Who Lacks Altruism And Is Very Cruel Isn't Happy After Butchering Animals

bat man males don't have geldables

Reanimated severed werebeast necromancer hand has a full body

Dwarf likes "cacao wood wood"

Dwarves turn hostile againt the player and defend their prison from raid sent to free them

Visitors giving birth during visit leave their baby behind

a water buffalo got stuck inside a rough tetrahedrite wall

Animals which retract into body parts forget to come out

Herbalist stuck on stepladder, starving to death.

Artifact has an image of nothing

Cave Dragons are sometimes intelligent, and sometimes join human civilizations

A goblin knocked over a workshop and now my dwarves are killing each other

Ambusher elves are being spotted, but the giant monsters they're riding on aren't.

runs with food from table to table. Can't eat

Intelligent Undead Sent on Mission Return as Ghosts

Horrified merchants immediately destroy their wagons, pack their goods and leave the depot

Dwarf king abdictates to become commoner necromancer apprentice

Internal body parts with certain tags can still wear clothing & armor, without being otherwise accessible

Necromancer marries zombie

Single dad dwarf with buggy dead wife leaves kid behind when he takes over holding

Large quantities of adamantine coins causes trade depot to burst into flame

My status:
Graduate student studying Computer Science at the University of New York at Buffalo.
4 Computer Vision and Image Processing Projects
3 Distributed Systems projects (Android apps).
Red Hat Certifications.
Applied to 135 companies for an internship program.
Here are the replies I have gotten so far.
" We have analyzed your resume and we think you'll be a great choice for this position at our company."
What position?
MARKETING INTERN.
FML!

Now I haven’t had any super spicy Indian food yet, and I hear it’s the spiciest, but holy fuck this Korean buffalo chicken has me feeling like I have some sort of disease. I literally had to run to the bathroom and I’m still fucking sweating bc I feel like I’m in a fucking sauna.

What the fuck does Spring Break mean?!
A: Spring has begun.
B: Here's a break. Go have some fun!
But no, here in Buffalo, the snow doesn't give a shit, it keeps falling!
And no! You want a break? How fucking cute! Here are two projects for you to work on that you gotta submit , the first day after spring break ends! and a midterm exam the day after!
Fmfl.

Hey guys! I'm a founder and CTO of a Buffalo, NY based startup. I graduated last year and I have been working on the startup ever since. I came to the US on a B1 Visa, which allows me to set up the business here but not earn a salary. So I have been working from India (my home country) as a contractor. I travel occasionally to USA for meetings etc. It gets really annoying because of the massive time zone difference, I'm not able to work as efficiently. We are pretty early stage so I can't get an H1b and since I don't have an entity in India, not eligible for l1 visa either.

Can anyone tell me if i have any other options in US/Canada as Canada is just an hour away from Buffalo. I looked at startup visa in Canada but I don't have any investors in Canada hence not eligible for it.

!dev
!!Lyrics

Really a random post but related to my personal dev-life so maybe it’s at least arguable if it belongs here.

This is one of my all time favorite songs, I can identify myself with it (although I’m reinterpreting some parts).
Back in Highschool I had girlfriends, I had time, I had my entourage, everything except money. All my dad wanted me to become was a rich fucking millionaire. Failure was never accepted, no matter what it was about and everything could always have been done better.
It was pretty much a military childhood. I already loved programming back then but only as a hobby, kinda.
I really wanted to make good money so I started a dev career (with makes gooooood money where I came from). The more I invested in my career, and that was a lot, I more and more lost the understanding of what’s really important, just pursued my goal of being the best fucking dev out there and start my own company in the next 10 years.

Well.. 10 years are over now, I’m still an engineer and I lost everything I had before I started this. Especially friends and relations to women (which I’m not even able to connect to anymore).

In this lyric, the blackbird and raven are the career that just ate me alive. Hope that makes any sense to some of you?..

Anyway, here the lyrics if you wanna read it:
—————————————-
Sons of Anarchy
Come join the murder - white buffalo

There's a blackbird perched outside my window
I hear him calling
I hear him sing
He burns me with his eyes of gold to embers
He sees all my sins
He reads my soul
One day that bird, he spoke to me
Like Martin Luther
Like Pericles

Come join the murder
Come fly with black
We'll give you freedom
From the human trap
Come join the murder
Soar on my wings
You'll touch the hand of God
And he'll make you king
And he'll make you king

On a blanket made of woven shadows
Flew up to heaven
On a raven's glide
His angels they turn my wings to wax now
I fell like judas, grace denied
On that day that he lied to me
Like Martin Luther
Like Pericles

Come join the murder
Come fly with black
We'll give you freedom
From the human trap
Come join the murder
Soar on my wings
You'll touch the hand of God
And he'll make you king
And he'll make you king

I walk among the children of my fathers
The broken wings, betrayal's cost
They call to me but never touch my heart, now
I am too far
I'm too lost
All I can hear is what he spoke to me
Like Martin Luther
Like Pericles

Come join the murder
Come fly with black
We'll give you freedom
From the human trap
Come join the murder
Soar on my wings
You'll touch the hand of God
And he'll make you king
And he'll make you king

So now I curse that raven's fire
You made me hate, you made me burn
He laughed aloud as he flew from eden
You always knew, you never learn
The crow no longer sings to me
Like Martin Luther
Or Pericles

Come join the murder
Come fly with black
We'll give you freedom
From the human trap
Come join the murder
Soar on my wings
You'll touch the hand of God
And he'll make you king
And he'll make you king
Come join the murder
Come fly with black
We'll give you freedom
From the human trap
Come join the murder
Soar on my wings
You'll touch the hand of God
And he'll make you king
And he'll make you king

Shine On: Pressure Washing, Landscaping, & More! – Expert Driveway Cleaning, Driveway Washing, and Fence Cleaning Services in Williamsville, NY

At Shine On: Pressure Washing, Landscaping, & More!, we specialize in providing top-quality exterior cleaning services for both residential and commercial properties throughout Williamsville, NY, and the greater Buffalo area. Whether it’s driveway cleaning, driveway washing, or fence cleaning, our expert team is here to help restore the beauty and cleanliness of your outdoor spaces with professional, reliable services.

Driveway Cleaning: Restore the Beauty of Your Driveway
Your driveway is one of the first things people notice about your property, and over time, it can accumulate dirt, stains, oil, grease, and grime. Driveway cleaning is the most effective way to keep your driveway looking fresh and welcoming. At Shine On, we use high-powered pressure washing equipment and eco-friendly cleaning solutions to remove dirt, oil spots, and other contaminants from your driveway surfaces. Whether you have a concrete, asphalt, or brick driveway, we have the right tools and expertise to get it clean without causing any damage.

Benefits of Driveway Cleaning:

Remove Stubborn Stains: Oil, grease, and tire marks can stain your driveway. Our driveway cleaning services effectively remove these tough stains and restore your driveway’s appearance.

Enhance Curb Appeal: A clean driveway boosts the overall look of your property, making it more inviting and appealing to visitors and potential buyers.

Prevent Long-Term Damage: Regular cleaning helps prevent the buildup of dirt, grime, and moss that can degrade your driveway over time.

Increase Safety: A clean driveway eliminates the slippery buildup of algae and moss, reducing the risk of slips and falls.

Driveway Washing: A Fresh, Clean Start for Your Driveway
Driveway washing is the best way to ensure your driveway stays clean and free of contaminants that can cause long-term damage. Our driveway washing services involve using high-pressure water to remove stubborn dirt, stains, and debris. Whether it’s a concrete driveway that’s become discolored or an asphalt driveway covered in dirt and grime, Shine On has the equipment and experience needed to bring it back to life.

Why You Need Driveway Washing:

Restore the Surface: Regular washing helps restore your driveway’s color and texture, giving it a clean, refreshed appearance.

Extend the Life of Your Driveway: By keeping your driveway clean and free of damaging contaminants, you help extend its lifespan and prevent costly repairs.

Increase Property Value: A well-maintained driveway can significantly increase the curb appeal and value of your property.

Fence Cleaning: Bring Back the Natural Beauty of Your Fence
Fences are a key element of your property’s exterior, providing both security and aesthetic appeal. However, over time, dirt, algae, mold, and mildew can build up on your fence, making it look dull and weathered. Fence cleaning is essential to restore the original beauty of your fence and protect it from damage.

At Shine On, we provide professional fence cleaning services that remove dirt, stains, mold, and mildew from all types of fences, including wood, vinyl, and metal. Our team uses safe, eco-friendly cleaning solutions combined with high-pressure washing to ensure that your fence is thoroughly cleaned without causing any damage to the material.

Why Fence Cleaning is Essential:

Restore Aesthetic Appeal: A clean fence enhances the overall look of your property, making it more attractive and inviting.

Prevent Long-Term Damage: Regular fence cleaning helps prevent the growth of mold, mildew, and algae, which can cause wood to rot and metal to rust.

Protect Your Investment: Cleaning your fence regularly helps preserve its condition and extends its life, saving you money on costly repairs or replacements.

Healthier Environment: Removing mold and mildew from your fence helps improve outdoor air quality and prevents the spread of allergens.

Why Choose Shine On for Driveway Cleaning, Driveway Washing, and Fence Cleaning?
Experienced Professionals: Our team has years of experience in driveway cleaning, driveway washing, and fence cleaning, ensuring a high-quality clean for every job.