Javascript makes me want to flip
the table and say "Fuck this shit", but
I can never be sure what "this" refers
to.

!dev

So, the house next door to me is being renovated into half a dozen apartments. This process has been ongoing for like 4 years of here-and-there houseflipper failboating, and if I had to guess, 3 owners worth of this fuckery.

The latest shitheel trying to polish this turd into something saleable has had it sit partially covered with plastic for months, mostly getting rained on. One crew came by last week and put half the thermal shielding up before something happened and they left. Then half of it fell off the house, into my yard. Nice person that I am I gathered it all up and left it in the various excavated pools of water on their property in which I can only imagine they are busily raising farm to table mosquitoes for the local market.

FF to today and I see a crew pull up to the house and start nailing plywood to the side of the house with no thermal pad underneath it. Which is a legit code violation and a mold hazard, but yolo amirite? I chat up some of the guys and find out that they were scheduled to install the plywood today (apparently he'd run out of money for the nice modular siding they used on the back half) and the owner didn't give a shit if the rest of the work was done. Meanwhile shit is still falling off the house onto my house, but also wgaf. 🚬

Tl;Dr the people trying to flip the house next to mine were obviously IT managers in a previous life.

Got a CTO at my Unity job that's younger than me, which by itself is fine, but the only reason this guy was put into that position was because the previous CTO left the company at the time where I was relatively new and he is the person most familiar with the codebase of our primary project than I was at the time.

I understood the decision at the time, but still, having a position of power being handed to them just as a matter of inheritance doesn't command my respect. Nevertheless, I withheld my judgement at the time to see how his leadership goes.

Not even 1 year in and this young CTO started making jabs at me, calling my code hard to read and incomprehensible, to my face, in front of everybody else.

Motherfucker, I don't find his code easy to read either but I went out of my way to frequently ask him, the previous CTO and other teammates to clarify what they wrote here and there. He on the other, made no attempt to ask me for clarification and instead waited until company meetings to air these grievances.

Our boss started to ask me to follow SOLID principles (even though he can't recite what that acronym means) due to complaint from the CTO guy, even though the CTO guy doesn't even follow SOLID himself! But I took the higher road and didn't flip it right back on him.

What I did propose in return though, is that the dev team start using pull requests and have a code review process if the CTO wants to sign off on everything that gets in the codebase. Sounds reasonable enough, right? Not for this guy! He immediately starts complaining that reviewing pull requests would be more work for him. Motherfucker, you refused to go to my table to ask for clarifications about my code yet still want to understand what goes on, then do code review.

It was at this point that I realized that this guy doesn't actually want me to write good, clear code. He wants me to write code HIS way so that he can understand. Yeah okay, I can accept that idea in isolation. Some open-source projects require contributors to follow certain coding convention to make the maintainers' job easier too. One project that immediately came to mind is "In-game Debug Console for Unity 3D" (disclosure: I am a contributor to this project)

But guess what?

THIS COMPANY DOESN'T HAVE A FREAKING CODING CONVENTION. NOT WRITTEN DOWN ANYWHERE. NOT EVEN A VOCAL ONE.

What this CTO guy wants from me is a complete blackbox.

To all fellow devs out there, I hope you don't work with a CTO like this, or become one.

HOW!? Just HOW THE FUUUCK??!

Did anybody ever try to put a cinnamon desktop onto a ubuntu server version?? 'Cause this is simply fucked up!

Just add the ppa they said. Just run
$ apt-get install cinnamon
they said!

APT-GET YOUR FUCKING HEADS OUT OF YOUR ASSES!

ARRRGGGH. *table-flip*

I tried a few methods.

First osmosis. I would put several programming books under my pillow but that was just a pain in the neck.

Next I tried the TF/RQ methods. I would try to write some code not knowing anything about the language. When it didn't work I'd rage quit and flip the table. That ended with a pile of broken IKEA desks and a lot of spilled coffee. (RIP Coffee 😔)

Finally I sat down and came up with a problem I wanted to solve. I googled it, looked at answers. Tried the code myself, if it worked I'd go over it piece by piece so I could explain to anyone exactly what it did and why.

Honestly, learning to code just comes down to doing it and being fearless. The more curious you are, the more you'll learn.

* Ctrl+Shift+F to find all "assert" in solution...

Matching lines: 0 Matching files: 0 Total files searched: 1504

* Bang head on table

* Flip Table

* Start writing unit tests

As usual, Friday is boring day. I made a React component to show an exclamation mark base on absolute value from a list. Took me 15 mins. The rest of 1 hour we discussed where and what color should I use. 🤦‍♂️ Someone nearly flip the table...

Are we sure reading this isn't going to have an effect on my eyes..? Or in that fact, on my mental health??

Like does anyone think to themselves, "I wouldn't want to read that," and actually change it so the next person isn't going to want to do a table flip meme style and walk out the door?

At least add spaces between your lines so my eyes don't bleed out...

The day we had to have an app ready for an upcoming demo. Management said everything needed to be done by the end of the day. My change was done, but was dependant on another change being merged first. I had been in the office since 8am. It didnt get merged until 5pm. I was in the office until 8pm trying to fix the insane merge conflicts. In the end i gave up and went home. The next day we discovered that the "deadline" was made up anyway so we still had time. I wanted to flip every single table in that office.

Manager tweaks with some data on the production server and accidentally deletes some rows.

*flip table* *rage*

Me: Where is your unit tests?
Dev: I tested manually and it worked.
Me: What if there are changes to the code in future?
Dev: We'll manually retest the implementation. It'll be fine.

*flip table*

I submitted my code for review yesterday. Got a reply this morning about this particular code:
result.getString("name").
He's asking me to "create a generic method instead that will accept a key and return a value".
i want to flip my table now.

Multi-rant incoming!

1.
Stereotyping.

When did that shit become the norm?

2.
I'm lost in ROS smach. Does anyone do multi-threading in ROS services, or should I flip a table on smach? 😒

We often give access to a product owner from the customer on our Jira to keep up a good communication and everyone stays up to date as everything is on the board and not hidden in emails or paper notes on the desk of the guy that is on vacation.

So far, so good

Our customers really like this as they can comment on tickets and they are integrated in the workflow because they can push into the backlog and can review finished tasks.

It is just getting better for everyone so where is the rant?

One project is just a dump of shitty mixed content tickets. But how? They look really neat. There are tickets like "fixes from meeting 20th of may" which are initially well structured with approximately 4 subtle changes to the UI and some explanation and screenshots.

PM says: Good ticket. There you go ticket, into the customer review loop of doom.

20 comments and 13 status changes later. Point 43 from comment 17 is referenced in comment 20 to keep on hold as a third party needs to give feedback, point 7 is still not solved correctly as dev 2 was not aware that it was already discussed and changed in the ticket "Call from 25th of may" where in addition the resolution of points 5-12 were requested with an additional excel file to import.

By now we have the 8th of august and literally 17 of these kind of tickets.

I guess we need to improve the workflow and request a new product owner. But this far I just table flip everytime I get one of these tickets assigned.

Visiting a site about FOSS and it tells me:

"Note: We are experiencing technical issues with Firefox and our comment system. If you want to leave a comment, please use some other browser."

How about no?! *rage quit*

*popup appears right before leaving*

AARRRRGHHH!! *table flip*

I use documentation to develop a connection to a feature (connection that was said to be done, but whatever.)

There is an example in the documentation of implementation.

But that example is, like I like to say, bullshit-esque.

In the implementation, the code doesn't work, and there is another way of implenting that connection. But the thing is, it uses a variable that was never declared in the example, neither in the full page. They just made it pop-up from nowhere like a deus ex machina.

Gimme a table so I can flip it.

That moment you realize, that the technology you try to search for is also a common name for a job/meal/fish.

*TABLE FLIP* -> *RAGE QUIT*

Working with a library developed by a koworker, which should be at its final release (and working). Every error code is -1, and the documentation explains it as "lol". I've spent the last hour reading ugly php code, with the only kind of comments being "sorry for this workaround, i had little time". I'm about to flip the table :<

So after the CIO pretty much does a table flip to the division about causing near daily customer impact we now have seven business day cool period for Changes and 13 cross functional teams stood up with 1, 15, 30, 60, and 90 day deliverables to an executive audience.

Guess what my team did today?
Offline a major Production database during the middle of the day, thinking they were in Development. Didn’t notice for 40 minutes.

On the one hand, I'm done with all of the major bugs in a piece we're getting ready to launch this month.

On the other hand, there's one lingering bug that only appears when I've got Query Monitor running, because WooCommerce throws a false positive "table does not exist" error, which it tries to backtrace through **39** layers of functions, eating all of the memory.

Turning off Query Monitor fixes this, but means I basically have to flip it off before the primary function of the software and flip it back on afterward.

Currently considering the best way to put off the WooCommerce activation for a point where there isn't so much going on...