Always remember boys & girls:

Why do people say "Well, I don't know about that" to voice disagreement?

If you admit your own naivety on a subject compared to your peers, if you admit that you do not have the required knowledge to have formed an opinion, how can you disagree?

So it can either be expressed with genuine innocence, like 'Well, I don't know about that, tell me more!', which is never the case.

Or it means "Well I don't know anything about that... and I'm ashamed of the fact that I can't find any counter argument, so I refuse to trust your fucking expertise, shut the fuck up until I give you the right to voice your knowledge"

Which is a bit rude.

Now that we're on the topic of annoying expressions and platitudes...

"It's not rocket science" -- Rocket science, understanding how a rocket works, is surprisingly simple. You fill a cylinder with fuel and oxygen, add a pump or two, put some sparks underneath. Chemical reaction equals energy, direct energetic particles using a nozzle, Newton's first law does the rest. It's so simple that people don't actually study rocket science. They study aerospace engineering, or astrodynamics, which are difficult topics.

So if someone says "Devops is not rocket science", they're right, but for the wrong reason. It's actually harder than rocket science. Maybe easier than developing thermal protection system materials or solving n-body orbital problems with a slide ruler though.

"Great minds think alike" -- No, great minds actually think creatively and generate unique thoughts, if two minds think alike, the solution was just fucking obvious.

"Don't reinvent the wheel" -- First of all, pretty much nothing in code looks or even remotely functions like a simple wheel. Even metaphorically, all existing code equates to oval or square wheels. If you said "Hey, don't bother making better wheels, I like my ride to be bumpy because it stimulates my asshole", say no more, who am I to come between a product manager and their anal stimulation.

Anyway, those were four coworkers who I would've strangled with an Ethernet cable if it weren't for a certain pandemic and the risk of infection which comes with choke-coughing.

What are your linguistic pet peeves you get homicidal over?

Does anyone else usually feel a bit homicidal towards someone(replace with boss or client) who doesn’t know a thing about what you do but constantly critiques your work?

Client: I don’t like how it looks, put some more design on it.

What does that even mean ????!?!

An hour of developer time: $50

An HDMI to USB-C dongle: $30

Only being issuing each developer 1 dongle and not letting them have an extra under any conditions because that would be "wasteful": The Process

There are some things in life that don't make you homicidal for everything else there's management.

Short rant: I hate xcode, I hate Swift, I hate Apple.

After 3 weeks of intensive work (I'm an apprentice, part-student, part-worker), I was happy to go back to school and was like "Oh we're going to learn iOS, sounds cool !".

It is now friday, I have homicidal tendencies growing inside me, I want to cry whenever I hear xcode or swift.

Why in the hell I can't use a string argument when I'm calling a function NEEDING a string arg ?
Why do xcode take so long to tell me that there is a problem, why is the error message not explicit AT ALL ?
Why dictionaries so hard to manipulate, EVEN IN JAVA IT'S SIMPLIER.
Why putting our API call in specialized files make them run AFTER EVERYTHING ELSE and the solution that is given to us is deprecated since 5 years ?
Why is a classic c-style for loop is now deprecated ?

These are just a drop in the ocean of WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT that we came across this week.

Fuck Swift, fuck xcode.

I sometimes sit back in awe at what, no matter how much I try not to see it, is clearly a global effort to create the most FUCKED up dev experience, documentation, intionally reverse-orienteed poop-scooping, small-business-opressing, homicidal-maniac-causing sorry excuse for claiming to be a company founded on "Don't Be Evil' that the Goog Monstor has turned out to be. WE MUST REPLACE THEM OR THE WEB WILL NOT BE FREE, even worse - everything in the world will be just like their horrible emails.

Q: What do you get when you create a homebrew query language that uses both the stream oriented principles of Unix data pipes and the relational ideas underlying an RDBMS and use incomplete documentation to support it?

A: A frustrated borderline homicidal engineer.

After a week of designing an API to our system for another team followed by redesigning it because they 'know what they need when they see it' I think I understand the pains all of you guys who work directly with customers go through what leads to exactly one question : How did you manage to never kill anyone?

Does anyone else here use ProcessWire to ward off homicidal thoughts?

Love is a killer
A homicidal fiend
Love is a killer
It'll be the death of me
I got a target on my back
For a cupid dressed in black
Love is a killer
It's killing me