My screens have a different height, but luckily I solved the problem with c++

A computer science degree doesn't mean we can fix everything, it just means we can understand how everything went so terribly wrong

Series a developer should watch:
Mr. Robot
Silicon Valley
The IT crowd

You don't have to rub it in stupid app..

There is a spider outside my window at work that I've named Vanessa. She is a web developer. And every time I squash a bug, I feed it to her.

Moore's law of documentation 😂

Toilets at our school had errors today.
Maybe an overflow

Found this in our code

Im at TechDays 2017
Its mostly about microsoft.

All the microsoft speakers use a macbook.
The only non microsoft speaker I saw used a microsoft tablet and had issues.

This was a comment but deserves its own post

A friend of mine had to make a pacman AI for a course and was required to have a partner.

So he asked the laziest, never in class guy for his studentnumber.
For every assignment he put that guys name and number on it. And he gave decent partner reviews.

His AI was the best of the whole year. The professor asked him to the front of the college room (with every AI student there, except his "partner"). My friend then thanked his partner, "he wouldn't be there without him".
Every student there laughed their ass off since they all knew that he soloed it.
The professor had no clue

At the end of the year my friend made that guy complete 3 courses without him knowing

Literally just taught my girlfriend how to ctrl+c and ctrl+v

If a new drug would be called VIM, noone would be able to quit

"I didn't understand what you did, so I deleted it all and started over"

When your non tech savvy girlfriend uses a function in windows you didnt even knew existed....

Fucking printers are made by satan himself.
My printer apparently needs cyan, yellow and magenta for printing grayscale.
So suddenly my colours are empty
Bullshit but whatever, I used ducktape to tape of the little glas place where it checks inkt levels.
My printer thinks they are full and prints again. Booyah.

About 200 pages further it says they are empty again.
BULL FUCKING SHIT
The satan spawn that made my printer must have made the cartridges with a chip that has a maximum of pages. So even if the cartridge is FULL, the chip says its empty and so the printer thinks that as well

If i find the demon spawn that programmed the printers, I will make you program in brainfuck or whitespace for the rest of your life!!!!!!

Programmers are like cats, you need at least two of them so they can play with eachother

!rant.
I've worked for about two months at my (first) job. Its amazing.
We create audio/video software for the products we make.

There are 9 programmers besides me, I'm the only junior. And I'm still learning my way around the code, but they still value my input.

We only do stand ups for 5-10 min, like it should.

One if my colleagues helps me often when I have questions, so I've nicknamed him ducky.

My pm is awesome, he's great at coding and a great manager.

When we work overtime, the department pays for delivery food and drinks.

And we've already gone on 2 trips with the department, mountain biking and a BBQ.

I love my job and I hope that I'll soon be good enough to ask less questions.

"Our database is an excel file 70 tabs of 50000 entries per tab and no, we do not want to switch"

I was in the train this morning....

A roommate said he didnt have internet on his laptop. Wifi wasnt working for him and the cable doesnt fit because he has a new ethernet port and needs another cable for that.

I told him that there is no new ethernet port or new ethernet port standard, I would have heard about it.

But he insisted that it was true.

So I grabbed the ethernet cable, pulled the clamp on his ethernet port down (as most new laptops now have) and plugged the cable in.

MOTHERFUCKING WINDOWS 10. YOU COCKROACH COCK SUCKING PIECE OF AQUAMAN'S LEFT NUT.

If I put you in hibernation I do NOT want you to WAKE THE FUCK UP WHEN ITS AROUND THAT TIME A NIGHT WHEN TEEN WOLF IS SPREADING HIS STD'S TO DIAMOND-SKINNED DOUCHEBAGS. (Middle of the night)
AND WAKE ME BECAUSE OF YOUR SOUND AND LIGHT.

Goddamnit how hard is it to let a computer hibernate, but no, they had to add shit functions that makes it update itself or something in the middle of the night.

I'm going to tear the functions out of your retro ass till you will fucking obey my every command. You will fucking hibernate when I say so till when I say so or I'll replace you with linux

I would like to put easter eggs in the software I work on.
I just doubt the surgeons/nurses that use it will appreciate when operating.

How to quickly force close the playstore on android.
Go into playstore
Navigate to your installed apps
Press the order button several times quickly
Play store will crash

The world laughed at iPhone when it removed the jack.
Now more companies are doing it, wtf

Our software uses a lot of video/audio hardware. But this hardware goes away when we deliver to the customer.
So everyone was asked to think of a way to be less depended on hardware.
I thought of a very clever idea and I told it to two senior software engineers who both saw much potential in it.

I've only worked here for close to 2 months. And I feel like this is a major contribution if they'll use my idea

Next week at the brainstorm session I'll have to present my idea (informal meeting)

I'll make an update when I know more

Christmas at my parents. Yaaaaay They turn wifi off at night. Booooo

When you are browsing devrant and then you arrive at the posts you left of last time.

Fuck, im up to date.

Road not found

Got my commitstrip book today :D

I have a bit of work anxiety, since I feel that I'm terrible at programming, but that's because the other people have been working with code for 10+ years and I just started my job 3 months ago. but my manager is super supportive and tries to help any way possible.

Yaay

I just don't get how you can be so bad at spelling. Almost seems intentional

@dfox
Idea: be able to swipe rants to the right to mark them as read so they don't turn up again

Useless machine.
.... I want one

I've encountered the most annoying virus ever.
It changes your search engine to yahoo.

Today it was decided that we would hide a bug by making a new feature that only hides the bug

I don't like it, but it needs to be done for actual reasons

"The difference between theory and practice is that in theory, there is no difference between theory and practice." - Richard Moore

Who else sometimes just deletes the whole project they are working on to start fresh and then it works in one go?

this guy forgot the plugs.

Nav bar is not placed at the top....
Spend an hour debugging. Finally....
Ctrl+a, Copy, paste into new file.
Save and overwrite old file.
Works.

FUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.
Im trying to rebuild a project but the .exe is active and everytime I kill it a new one spawns......

So my only option left is to restart my laptop. The thing is I always hibernate and that has come to bite me in the ass..

You know you have a good job when your manager gives you permission to watch porn on a hololens while on camera

That moment when f.lux updates on your phone and you are blinded because your screen is normally coulored for a few seconds

There is this abstract class with a single public method in it.
Above it a comment, change back to protected ASAP.
That comment is from 2013

I don't even...

Techdays 2017 amsterdam.
This is the life

Old but gold.

True Story, and they named another child: "help I'm stuck in a car license factory" imagine that license

Help, I don't know if I want to code as a job for the rest of my life.
I feel that I miss physical activity in my job. Its just sitting and programming.
I like programming, it's an infinite series of puzzles, and I like puzzles. But more physical would be nice.

Maybe I should find a 2nd job that is more physical and balance the two.

What is everyone's thoughts on this?

Just got my raspberry pi, installed lubuntu, openssh and sshed into it.
Adjusting to command line only and ubuntu is hard.

I dont know where everything is located and how to get stuff done.

But I will keep on trucking till I figure it out!!

03:00 am
Just coded for 12 hours.

One feature is blocked,
2 are ready for testing
And a third needs some development but actually has no task in the backlog,so that one is in limbo.

To bed
*drops mic

Tomorrow it will all be done.

Everyone needs a personal code.
Mine is:
While(Alive)
{
Code();
Debug();
FapIMeanWorkout();
Sleep();
}

I read this and knew exactly what the developer would have felt

True story:

A guy worked at a company as a very important programmer.
No matter the assignment, he would get it done.

It turns out he played Internet games all day and had outsourced his work to a Chinese company for 10% of his pay.

And he had signed up at a second company and did the same thing there.

He was fired, but made a lot of money.

@dfox
Feature request:
If(When you are in the app and go to notifications, group the notifications for the same rant.
||
Automatically sort unread notifications to the top)
{
Zombie = happy;
}

Sometimes I have to scroll forever

Visual studio releases on my birthday, what a nice present of microsoft

I accidentally let some malware on my computer and it installed drivers so i couldn't delete the reg Keys or the program itself because I didn't have the proper permissions (super administrator account )

I busted out Linux, used a piece of software to open the register, manually deleted the register key entries, because Linux doesn't care what level of admin you are on Windows, he just sudos that shit.

Rebooted, malware gone.

New malware on the lose.
It encrypts your files.
But with a twist, it unlocks it again if you spread the malware to friends.

Maybe run it in a vm to get the key to unlock your files might work...

Failure

Damn! Things that I want are always not defined!!

There is this company that saves your information, before you have even registered.

If you merely fill in a field, they will save it to their database. Not even saving/submitting it, just filling it in.

So when you then visit their store, they already know stuff about you (if you gave enough unique identifiers, like phonenumber or email adress) and recommend stuff based on your browsing of their website

I love listening to music while coding, mainly metal/rock/classical

Comment with 10 tracks from your playlist .... Here are my 10

0. Disturbed - stricken
1. Tremonti - decay
2. Black label society - bored to tears
3. Ac/dc - back in black
4. Rolling Stones - paint it black
5. Gary Moore- still got the blues
6. Carcass - blind bleeding the blind
7. Alter bridge - metalingus
8. Fear factory - linch pin
9. Pantera - 5 minutes alone

News headline:
Thief runs off with Galaxy Note 7 before it explodes moments later

Prediction of a future rant:

Guys I'm starting a Devrant addiction recovery movement.

I've become addicted since it fills me with delight to read all the rants.
It's so bad that my work has suffered.

The first step is admitting I have a problem

Actually it doesn't matter, all my projects get canceled anyway so noone noticed I stopped coding.

Pressure that wasn't there.

I thought there was work pressure, but it was all in my mind.

I'm coding well, getting better everyday.

E = mc²
Experience = maneSize * coveredLaptopSurface²

Guys!! I Need help asap
My pc has become sentient and is starting to imitate me.

I'm afraid I've created sky net. I don't want to be the destroyer of earth... :'(

...
...

He's watching cat videos...

I'm assuming me pc heard me last night, because the gobblecocking twat wouldn't POST this morning.

I had to take her power of completely and then the bitch started updating windows 10.

Its time to make linux the main gaming platform!
If it wasn't for gaming, windows wouldn't even exist anymore

Me and 2 others are new at a company. We got an introduction presentation about the company and it's structure.

When he got to a department where one of us would work, he would have a picture of us in the presentation.

Mine was just a smiley face, because he couldnt find any pictures.

I was so proud of myself.

I stopped using keyboard predictions/suggestions because I started to lose the ability to type on my phone and even the ability to spell some words.

The less you have to think about something the more you'll forget.

Programmer way to declare love

Var love = true;

I wonder what the average lifespan is of a developer.
Is it higher or lower then the average life expectancy?
Does it have to do with our mindset? Or are our clients so terrible that we have more stress? If so does devRant lower our stress?

TL;DR: intel stripped the hosted network function from the drivers for my wifi chip. Older versions can still so it

Every month I travel by bandbus to neighbouring countries for a show.
This usually takes 7+ hours.

So i have my laptop with me and if my brother is along as well, we game in the bus.

Using a cable for internet connection isnt handy, since we sit on opposite sides of the bus. So i looked up if I can use a hosted wifi network for this.

We both checked out our drivers and both said no hosted network support.
And some posts on the internet said that customer support told them that the chip can't do it

But thats weird. My laptop is high end. So I searched a little only to find out that I can do a hosted wifi network if I DOWNGRADE my drivers.....

Fuck you intel. Fuck you hard for stripping that function from the drivers

I need to build multithreading in my brain, i want to learn at least 8 new code languages and techniques at the same time(not to mention normal languages)

My brother wanted me to post:
Devrant is so secure, it even blocks passwords. Look here is mine ***************

I was curious to how many would fall for it. But I was afraid It could be seen as malicious intent

What versioning system does github use? Github?

My personal code:
If(RantISee.Score == 9)
{
RantISee.Score++;
}
// I got your back guys

They offered 50% off if I signed up for their "club" at the clothing store
Needless to say I used my spam account to sign up

When ryzen released I bought a 1700x a little while after with 3600 cl15 memory.

Back then it only ran at 3.6ghz cpu and 2800 mhz cl16 memory.

Now im on 3.75 ghz and 3333mhz cl14.

I honestly didnt expect this to happen

Rant rant = new Rant();
Rant.InternshipGotten = false;

Apparently I failed to provide enough reason why I would like to do my internship with them.
And I didnt have any affinity with programming according to them.

Im not a great talker assholes. But im good at programming.
How would you even know my affinity to programming? Because I dont have any personal projects running?

When windows updated for 45 minutes

Years ago was the first time I put custom firmware on our wndr3700 router, it hasn't crashed since.

I bought a wndr4700, faster, 5ghz, possibility for a hard drive.
It's been 3 years and still no custom firmware.

Got my raspberry pi fory birthday!!
Also got a raspberry pie, gotta love my family.

Is there a program that detects (subscribes) to a git projecr and automatically downloads changes?

(Of course there is, but what is a good one)

Fucking ant-cumstained garbage bag. How come you are so inaccessible you satan website.

I wanted to look at someone on facebook. But for some things you need an account, so I sign up with my spam mail and a random name and the birth date that was filled in

When I try to login facebook says: your account might be compromised, what is your birth date to verify it's you.
Wtf I just made this. So I fill in the standard birth date.
WRONG BIRTH DATE YOU CAN'T TRY AGAIN FOR THE NEXT 15 MIN

Im glad I abandoned you long ago.

But apparently you know you suck since you don't allow new users?

Random:
1 is the loneliest number that you'll ever see, 1++ can be as bad as one, it's the loneliest number since the number one.

Got my stickers, thanks a lot @dfox and everyone that made it possible

hoping for the stressball (need 1 more like on my other rant)

I hide the rope, pills, gun, lock the windows

Programmers wise thoughts:

Programming is solving a puzzle. Whether you have to piece something new together or change a wrong piece

I am now going to attempt the problem solving ritual.
Requirements:
-have a problem or piece of unoptimized code and you don't know how tk fix/improve it
-be able to sleep/take a nap

Now before I fall asleep the ritual should provide me with an epiphany to solve my problem

Plan b:
I have a class ninja (model), with an observablecollection<property> properties and an observablecollection<gearslot> gearslots;
,a class gear with an observablecollection<property> properties and an Category category:
And a class gearslot with a Gear gear and a Category category;
Via entity framework this results in several property entries per ninja
And several property entries per gear item

All good so far.

I now actually want the ninja property values, to be the sum of the gear property values

So a ninja has int, agi and str of 0.
Gear has 0 or more stats.
If the ninja has two pieces of gear on with agi +1, then the ninja agi should be 2

If possible i would like the logic in the model.
Else i have to put it in the viewmodel.
That i can figure out, its just so inelegant....

Reading. I read so much. Maybe I should get some programming books. But then again, the plotline is always so boring

"Great ideas, like babies, are often conceived after a few glasses of wine." - Sharon Moore

Sigh.. I have both vs2013 and vs2017 open on the same project.
In 2017 an extension doesn't work.
But 2017 is easier in some things, like managing nugets.

All my coworkers use 2013, so I have to make everything works in there. And I have to use the one broken extension there.

I should buy this

I have to change a powershellscript of a 1000 lines.....

I had fixed an issue that took me 2 hours to figure out, then committed the fix. Only to realise that I committed from an external folder (svn)
I messed up somewhere and my fix was gone.
Fuck me. Fuck externals, can't wait till we switch to git.

When you compare your past with your old code:

The improvements you could have made, if you had known what you know now.

A commit a day would have kept everything up to date.

A comment every now and then would have made choices understandable

Using classes would have made it easier to replace or reuse code.

Now you have to figure out what the code is supposed to do, and rewrite it.

At my school we have 2 projects a year, mock projects to learn how that works.

For this project we have to use php, agile and we have an actual customer. Since several groups work for the same customer , the customer can choose the best result. (if your product gets chosen then there may or may not be a reward)

In every sprint meeting the customer confirms my thoughts on how much I hate customers without any knowledge.

I'm good at dumbing things down for less knowledge people. But no matter how I try to dumb down demo, she doesn't get it.

I'm so super frustrated!!!!

And she's asking for a feature that she'll probably use once, and I'm not convinced she knows what she is asking for. But will take me several hours to implement. It feels so useless.

There are all these bad design ideas out there, like 20 popups on websites, facebook, apple software.

I only see good programmers who have self respect here. So what good programmer doesn't have self respect and programs those bad ideas?

(I'm just fucking with the apple guys, but the other two are legit)

I fucking hate working with older software

I have a visual installer project, and it automatically finds the dependencies to make the setup file.

if I rebuild a certain reference, in which I made no changes, and then refresh the dependencies, it will add another dependency that already exists, but outside the dependency folder. So now I have two exactly fucking the same dependencies.

i can remove it, but removing it doesn't change any of my files. So there is nothing to commit. If you restart the project, its back.

And first it required me to actually add the dll to the build folder before it would build. And suddenly not anymore.

Im pretty sure its either the outdated installer software or visual studio 2013 fucking with me.

It also randomly added a dependency from blend. Which is apparently a known bug, but never got fixed in the two updates after they recognized it as a bug.
Fuxx you microsoft...

I had a compile error that I was missing a com reference. But on the pc of a colleague it compiled fine.

It was something from vlc, so I reinstalled vlc.
2 seconds after that my virus scan started shouting, alert, activeX element detected, removing.....

Which water buffalocock sucking piece of diarrhea stained retard (sorry for the retards I love you all a huggy bunch and you deserve better)
Uses an activeX element which even a virus scan can identify as completely unsafe

I needed to create a c# wrapper class for an activex element which has functions for sudoku.

Then create a wpf interface to play it.
So far so good. Ive had c# wpf, so no problem.

Finished that

"Make another interface in asp.net mvc"

I thought to myself, sure how difficult can asp.net be?

Very difficult apparently.

At least, if you want to make a grid which you can change per cell with an x and y.

I just went to bed after i gave up, when I suddenly got an idea. It ain't pretty, but just might work

I like to compare OSses to playgrounds

OS x: a grass field with a fence with a watcher that keeps you from doing something possibly dangerous(/fun) . It's safe but not a lot you can do

Windows: a grass field with a fence, you can climb the fence if you want and do dangerous things if you aren't carefull. less safe but you can do more

Linux: a terrain of your choosing, you can do whatever you want, but it can quickly become dangerous if you don't know what your doing.

Life-hacks for school

-----------------------------------------------------------
Extending a deadline for a paper:

Create a word file, fill it with Lorem ipsum.
Save.
Open the word document with notepad.
Delete soms gibberish code.
Save

Word will throw an error saying the file is corrupt.

Teacher will ask for the file again after the deadline.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Deceiving a plagiarism detector.
only works if you can submit multiple times and no resource is mentioned or checked by teachers

Plagiarize something but not to much, submit it. Change a few words. Submit again.
The system will check the first submission against the second one and determine its 99% plagiarism of your own paper.

Im thinking about getting a raspberry pi 3 or an odroid-c2.
(Specs at the end)

Its to host a simple php server and maybe a gitlab server, both for personal use.

Should I go with the better performance or the better community support?

Odroid specs
System-on-chip used : Amlogic S905
CPU: 1.5 GHz 64-bit quad-core ARM Cortex-A53
Memory: 2 GB LPDDR3 RAM at 912 MHz
Storage: MicroSDHC slot, eMMC module socket
Graphics: Mali-450 MP3
Connectivity: 4× USB 2.0, micro-USB OTG, HDMI 2.0, Gigabit Ethernet (8P8C), Infrared, 40× GPIO ports

Raspberry specs:
SoC: Broadcom BCM2837
CPU: 4× ARM Cortex-A53, 1.2GHz
GPU: Broadcom VideoCore IV
RAM: 1GB LPDDR2 (900 MHz)
Networking: 10/100 Ethernet, 2.4GHz 802.11n wireless
Bluetooth: Bluetooth 4.1 Classic, Bluetooth Low Energy
Storage: microSD
GPIO: 40-pin header, populated
Ports: HDMI, 3.5mm analogue audio-video jack, 4× USB 2.0, Ethernet, Camera Serial Interface (CSI), Display Serial Interface (DSI)

Reinstalled my computer, installed needed programs, made a system image.
I feel sooooo good right now.

I was fixing a bug, wrote some code that was really neat, still it looked like to much.
Then I realised I could change my code to 4 simple rules vs 50

I used to think that programming was just straight forward coding what you need.

But now I think it's describing the problem and writing code to solve that problem.

Example: recursive function. It calls itself till it finds a solution or till no options are left. You don't know the answer, but you code something that can find it for you.

Or php, you don't create every single html page, that's done by php dynamically.

The great thing is, it's less work and it is easier to catch error scenarios.
The bad thing is it has become a bit more abstract.

We are learning a method for reflecting on our progress.

The teachers use a wedding as an example in front of 5 classes of guys only.
Lost all interest

I was busy with making an end assignment, and one part just didnt work, it wasnt showing properties or gearslots of the first ninja
Then I checked the database and realised that the only entry that is not correct is the first one.
Doh

I was applying for an appartement. Only way to do that is by sending all required papers to a company

The company emailserver rejects emails bigger then 5mb.
I had to send 4 emails to send all required documents

After waiting 3+ years, I finally found custom firmware for my netgear wndr4700.
LEDE project(based on openwrt), you are amazing.

Now just to figure out the 10000 options i have now.

Anyone that can help me?
Per example, my router should be capable of 300 mbit theory and 200 mbit practical.
But the custom firmware says max 150mbit.

@dfox do you have a bot that randomly ++'s rants or do you actually read that many rants?

Today I'll be part of a sprint on which only me and my coworker will work.

Usually its 4-5 people. And ive only worked 2.5 weeks now.

Im a bit nervous

Almost black friday, Im going to buy a mouse and keyboard.
Thinking about

Mouses:
Logitech G502
Razer deathadder
Corsair vengeance m90

Keyboards:
Corsair K70 lux red

Any suggestions and/or experiences?
I dont need programmable keys. Just the essentials that work great, fast and im able to use them for long periods of time without issues

Amazon alexa is here for plex.
(You can yell at plex to play something)
But it seems it might need some permissions or something.
Anyone tried sudo <command> yet?

Follow up on my printer rant.
(Quick recap: my printer uses all colours when printing black and white, and it says the cartridge is empty when it isnt at all)

I finally have it figured out.

The current cartridges dont get used (for some reason) and i bought a chip resetter. I just reset the chip of the colour cartridges and I buy a black cartridge every now and then. Essentially making my printer black and white only, just how I like it.

I have my first internship interview tomorrow .....
What should I wear?
And any tips?

Php, laravel.
A form wasn't showing a drop down but it was for a colleague.
I insert a space at the end of the file and save
Drop down shows

Wtf php / laravel....

Im travelling with a show. And we just arrived. Since we are in a foreign land, I do not wish to use my data bundle.

So we see a wifi name that is pretty much our show name. So we naturally assume that it is for us but we havent gotten the wifi password yet.

So i tried 3 passwords and then guessed correctly. The date of our performance....

A programmer goes out to get some dry cleaning. His wife told him, "While you're out, pick up some milk"

He never came home

I just read a news article on a tech site. And there was an actual intelligent discussion going on in the comments for more then 50 posts

God I hope Dave Chapelle is still alive.
And I hope joclyn Moore embarassed itself and quit netflix lol

Everyone will miss those two shows I've heard of in passing and completely forgot lol

Please give us Markdown in Slack already. How can that be much more "difficult" compared to Slack's own formatting?

At least give me the possibility to temporarily disable formatting, e.g. to not make bold when using asterisks. No, using inline code formatting is not a viable option. I simply want to have asterisks shown as normal text. I'm fine with escaping with e.g. backslashes. That's kinda normal.