Team meeting, discussing current project task, dude just slammed his hand on the ground and screaming like a child that he needs help and his taks is more important than others

Fucker got fired 7 months later, took long enough

Its important to read the ToS

Hey man can you fix my tv, computer, toaster, phone, or hack this phone i found, can you hack me a wifi, can you make me a website/app i have a really good idea. (For free of course)
Hey man you only need a good idea for an app then become rich.
(Insert countless of other retarded requests here)

Someone kill me

When you're in Word and press CTRL+P to search for a segment in the document...

Or press CTRL+F5 on Sublime Text

Or press CTRL+S in the browser...

My brain can't handle this...

I dont have a twitter

try {
RiskyFunction()
//a gazillion lines more
}
catch() {}

//Wow! The app is not breaking anymore!

Me half a year ago: I want to work at Google one day.

Me now: I want to get more privacy and to get rid of all Google / non private services.

Right now I am trying to switch to signal but it's hard to convince my friends, which also use Instagram Facebook and Snapchat to use signal because they don't give a fuck about privacy and can't be bothered to install an app which taks less time to setup than a fucking Facebook account.

No man's sky: I can imagine the devs fighting management and marketing letting them know that what they were selling was bullshit and they be like 0 fucks given.

I just went to pee and I spent like 10 minutes reading devrant and I got paid for it.

Yes I pee sitting.

Hi friends and others. There is a task I want to automate. I want to convert .docx files to .pdf and then minify those. Are there JavaScript libraries or npm- packages which can do that? Because I would like to use Gulp or Webpack for this task. I would not mind if external APIs are involved, but I would rather not use those if not required.

Pls share your wisdom. Bye.

Dev: *completes tasks, pushes to UAT and assigns to PM in Jira for testing*

PM: *receives notifications and immediately bulk change on all taks and assigns to client without testing*

So what is it you do here...?

If weekdays were languages monday would be cobol

i am i such a shitty situation. i have recently started to love my job as i find the work to be lesser and lesser stressful. i finish my tickets in 2-3 hours exch day, and i am almost free after 3 pm and officially free after 6.30 pm every day (kinda officially, as i have set an unavailable notice on my calendar for 6.30 to 8.30 and after that no one really is online).

i get time to go out, jog, play with my pets do home taks, and even study sometime.

everything is going great except 2 things: they are ending the remote work policy in 2022 and giving esops instead of appraisal/promotion :'( will have to either switch or go live in the city where my office is, which is the most expensive city in my country ( and maybe in top 10 most expensive in the world) + very unsafe. and its obvious that my boss won't be letting me code lying flat on a mattress with a bag of cheetos and in just boxers and flip-flops

I hate you Internet Explorer. You can seriously go die in a fucking fire.

Them fart concerts in the bathroom after lunchtime

A team blacklisted a series of words in order to prevent XSS. Obviously they failed terribly. Like they filtered 'alert(' and crap like that. Like a hacker is going to alert stuff using xss. I opened a bug to their team.

Anyone here here has used pluralsight? Really powerful platform for learning IT stuff, I have learned tons with it

How do you know if you're underperforming? Specially when taks don't have a deadline.

Oh my god I lost my stickers and I had only used one 😨

South Park saw the end of internet coming, just you wait.

i feel like a fucking failure, I am so tired of programming, i dont even like it anymore, and all my coworkers are programmer gods. I feel like a burden. Part of it might be imposter syndrome but for the most part its true.

Feeling stupid as fuck in a group programming with our lead engineer (and Im the one driving). Tell me Im not useless :(

What’s your take on engineering managers just focusing on delivering the product. Making sure the management happy.

TL;DR.
To begin, i want to clear it out that my EM is a really sweet person and tries to accommodate all of us and takes pressure off us whenever possible.

But he’s a really shitty manager. He’s the kinda guy whom you can give a weekend project and he’ll an excellent job. On the other hand, if the taks requires more than a weekend, he’ll probably fuck it up.
He thinks everything can be done in a jiffy and we don’t need to think about the edge cases.
His reasoning for not giving quality importance is that he wants us to focus on building the product and making it shippable. We can iron out issues once we get it done.
He’s decided not to let the tests run in the cicd pipeline because that might hinder making hot fixes.
I’ve tried talking to him but he believes that’s the only way management is willing to agree to.

Just wondering any of you has seen automated tests in a CI machine? Theyre not reliable enough to be running all the time because many times its just an empty error amd its tedious to investigate and wastes lots of time

Dat $15 dollar game maker humble bundle, I dont know if I will ever need it but damn it feels gud.

Getting back a task bc the code reviewer didnt like the formatting fml

Damn, I hate Spring and most CoC frameworks. We’re using it from 2 years, I read most of the docs and it still gives issue for basic taks which takes hours to fix because I have to guess the exact convention which allows the program to process corner cases which aren’t explained in the docs. Yes, in the end the code is more elegant but it’s worth it when issues which could be solved in minutes by a trivial if/else statement takes hours (rigorously on pair programming™️ since being one of the few which actually read the docs I end up with lots of calls for help for Spring related issues by other teammates) and huge headaches to fix following the framework’s way?