Manager: I’m so sick and tired of you devs whining about technical debt and how it’s slowing down our progress, so here’s the deal. You have until the end of this week to eliminate all technical debt in the codebase. After that I NEVER WANT TO HEAR YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT TECHNICAL DEBT EVER AGAIN!!!

Dev: …

One of the major things I find irritating about looking for a job as a developer is that some companies ask you to make demo projects for them (and some of those projects can take days to make..).

It annoys me I have to spend energy on something that may result in nothing. And this gets more annoying if several companies ask it. It's like I'm working for free. I don't feel productive. lol

Got a mail from a recruiter.... offering me a role in a company......where I'm currently working....in the said role.

Found this potential solution to your boss problems on reddit:

Anytime you feel down, just remember this.....

Leave company loyalty in the 1950s where it belongs. A job will cut you loose at the first sign of trouble! 🚨

Is this Docker ?

🤔 If developers were linguists...

Person 1: How do you say "????" in Italian?

Person 2: Why don't you use Japanese? It's a much better language.

damn this is brilliant

Every fds ever

Pushed to master on a Friday!

both sides are real

(•_•)
<) )╯i
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> got
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> promoted
/ \

every single fuckening day

~During app demo to our client~

- And when you click here the request will be submitted, the admin will be notified.
*App crashes*
- And of course the app will close itself since it's the end of the process.
- Client: That's good
- Me: ⊙﹏⊙

Today my current company fuck itself.

We were in negotiations about the end of my contract/mission, I want to quit to create a company around AI.

And the actual chairman said to me "You think too highly of yourself. I could find a tenth of people to replace you so shut up and take what we offer".

30 minutes later they received my resignation. 1h after that, the 15 dev under me resigned (after two year working with us they are clearly under paid). At the end of the day, the Head of product and the two good PO resigned.

This morning I get an email, talking about suing me as I made everyone resigned and asking for a meeting.
So I went to the meeting with a lawyer, they weren't expecting it. Boring legal stuff came after that.

And the funny fact: at the end of the meeting the CIO, chief ops and the SRE resigned as well.... As they didn't want to have the run it without all the team...

Funny day :)

Last month the main product, 90% of the company use it, was launched. And in three months 80% if the IT profiles will be out...

Fuck Android Studio Fuck Android Studio Fuck Android Studio Fuck Android Studio Fuck Android Studio Fuck Android Studio Fuck Android Studio Fuck Android Studio Fuck Android Studio Fuck Android Studio Fuck Android Studio Fuck Android Studio Fuck Android Studio Fuck Android Studio Fuck Android Studio.... Fuck this shit hole to the end of time

My mom never touched a PC or smartphone. Well, most people didn't back then, because it was the early 90s.

But I brought a borrowed SNES to the hospital and taught her to blow on the Zelda cartridge if it didn't work. She died after we finished the game.

After that my dad bought me a commodore 64, the machine that taught me about electronics and programming, and molded me into who I am today.

On the first date with my girlfriend (now 12y together) we just sat talking for hours in her room, playing Zelda on her SNES taking turns, and I told her my mom would have liked her.

My team is like the Avengers except instead of different superpowers we all have different personality disorders.

Clients always add up:
- The time it took you to create the project.
- Enhancement times.

Client: "How are we still working on this a year later?"

Me: "Well motherfucker, you requested a change recently. It has nothing to do with the original request, nor the last 39 updates."

Like it's my fucking fault you keep changing your mind.

Same lol

8 am, got in to work, everything has exploded overnight. The servers are dead, the scripts aren't running, everyone has panicked. So many emails.. So many Skype messages. I wish I wasn't the only one who can fix it. Send help (and coffee).

Well said. Well said indeed.

When optimizing becomes ur curse...

!rant

I love the first weeks after a job change. It's just like falling in love, everything seems to be perfect until you take off the pink glasses.

Have to wait until I'm assigned a burning project to have a full picture.

Actually I am in a burning project. Deadline in 2 weeks. Doing Bugfixes which do not require in-depth project knowledge, and... It's fine. All a matter of perspective. I also think that project based work suits me more than usual 15y old legacy enterprise shit. And I'm able to switch. From embedded C++ over hardware dev to fullstack .NET (I consider myself as a full-fullstack dev, able to do everything from hardware to frontend).

Topics such as IOT, medical, device engineering, machine learning. Wow.

It's my first company having >50 employees and multiple offices in multiple countries. I used to jump every 2 years from one shitty garage company to another.

Wish me good luck ✌️

Just got the new office update and damn the new icons are hideous

True for a lot of industries.

found on twitter - @JS_Cheerleader

found somewhere

First time I heard a client say: "You've done a phenomenal job, but you've over-delivered. You should have come to me. We could have worked it out." after we had to ask for an extension.
That's a keeper.

Loool 😂 😂